Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
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"Love
2
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:17,600
exciting and new.
3
00:00:19,018 --> 00:00:20,311
Come aboard,
4
00:00:23,022 --> 00:00:25,900
We're expecting you.
5
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:31,030
Love,
6
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:34,951
life's sweetest reward
7
00:00:35,034 --> 00:00:38,997
Let if flow,
8
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:43,001
it floats back you.
9
00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:46,629
The Love Boat,
10
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:51,301
soon we'll be making another run
11
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:54,804
The Love Boat,
12
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:59,309
promises something for everyone.
13
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:01,269
Set a course for adventure,
14
00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:07,776
your mind on a new romance.
15
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:11,279
And Love,
16
00:01:11,362 --> 00:01:15,366
won't hurt anymore.
17
00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:19,412
It's an open smile,
18
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:24,000
on a friendly shore.
19
00:01:24,083 --> 00:01:28,463
It's love.
20
00:01:28,546 --> 00:01:33,885
Welcome aboard it's love."
21
00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:00,203
JULIE:
Hello, welcome aboard...
22
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,413
FLANDERS:
So long, rat race...and hello
fun!
23
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:03,706
JULIE:
Welcome aboard, Mr...?
24
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:04,374
FLANDERS:
Flanders.
25
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:05,208
Donald M.
26
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,376
What time do the festivities
start?
27
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,419
JULIE:
Well, as soon as we assign you
your cabin...
28
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:08,962
FLANDERS:
Okay.
29
00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:09,754
JULIE:
Let's see.
30
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:11,756
F-131 -- oh, it's a lovely
one...
31
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:12,590
FLANDERS:
Who cares?
32
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:13,675
I'm never gonna be in there
anyway.
33
00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:14,884
I'm here for sun and fun.
34
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:15,677
Can I swim now?
35
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,345
JULIE:
Absolutely.
36
00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:19,222
FLANDERS:
That's funny, 'cause I didn't
know how when I left home this
morning.
37
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:21,683
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.....
38
00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:23,810
DOC:
I'll bet he has a good time once
he comes out of his shell.
39
00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:24,853
JULIE:
Yeah...
40
00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:25,311
GOPHER:
Did you guys see a dog come on
board?
41
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:26,396
JULIE:
A dog??
42
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:26,980
GOPHER:
Yeah.
43
00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:27,772
Security called.
44
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,732
One of their guard dogs is
missing.
45
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,901
DOC:
I heard some barking, but it was
only Captain Stubing.
46
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,862
JULIE:
Oooh...
47
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:36,072
GOPHER:
Well, I tell you, his bark is
worse than his bite...
48
00:02:36,155 --> 00:02:38,908
But I don't know, he never
actually bit me.
49
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,076
JULIE:
Well, he may.
50
00:02:40,159 --> 00:02:42,912
He's extra testy because his
father's coming on board.
51
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:46,749
And I heard that he makes our
sea dog seem like a pussycat...
52
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,210
GOPHER:
Then, maybe his Dad'll bite
me...
53
00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:52,922
JULIE:
Oh-oh, Battle Stations.....
54
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,761
STUBING, SR.:
Captain Merrill Stubing, Senior,
reporting.
55
00:02:58,845 --> 00:02:59,804
JULIE:
Welcome aboard, sir.
56
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:00,346
DOC:
How do you do, sir?
57
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:01,598
CAPTAIN:
Father...
58
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:05,727
Oh, I'm sorry I didn't get a
chance to pipe you aboard...sir.
59
00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:06,811
DOC:
Glad to have you aboard, sir.
60
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,396
GOPHER:
Anything you want, sir.
61
00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:09,814
Yeoman Purser Smith, sir...
62
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,816
Gopher, sir.
63
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,819
STUBING, SR.:
Merrill, are you going to keep
your crew at this fever pitch
for the entire cruise?
64
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:17,113
CAPTAIN:
Well, they're only doing their
jobs, sir.
65
00:03:17,196 --> 00:03:18,489
STUBING, SR.:
Will you all relax?
66
00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:20,450
I'm not a captain anymore.
67
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:23,953
I'm just a passenger, here for a
little vacation.
68
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:28,458
Now, stow my gear, ready my
cabin, and I'll meet you in your
quarters at thirteen hundred
hours!
69
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,293
Look alive...
70
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:31,210
CAPTAIN:
Yes, sir...
71
00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:41,804
Now you know why my first two
words were 'mommy' and...hey --
hey -- !
72
00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:50,647
BETH:
Toby -- !
73
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:51,481
TOBY:
Beth -- !
74
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,358
BETH:
Oh, it's so good to see you!
75
00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:54,484
You look incredible!
76
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:55,526
TOBY:
Oh...thank you...
77
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,111
BETH:
And I love your hair.
78
00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:59,113
GOPHER:
Ms. Chapman and Ms. Luffner.
79
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:00,573
GOPHER:
You're on Promenade Deck, 204
and 205.
80
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:01,824
BETH:
Oh, I can't believe we used to
call you 'Tubby Toby' in
college.
81
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:02,408
BETH:
You must have lost thirty pounds
since graduation!
82
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,327
TOBY:
No, thirty-five.
83
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,162
But I can't relax for a second.
84
00:04:06,245 --> 00:04:09,457
There are thousands of hot fudge
sundaes out there with my name
on them.
85
00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:11,000
GOPHER:
I'm a banana split man myself...
86
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:11,709
But as I was saying, that's 204
and 205.
87
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:12,418
BETH:
Oh, how did you lose it?
88
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:12,877
Stillman?
89
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:13,378
Atkins?
90
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:14,128
Or liquid protein?
91
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:15,505
TOBY:
No, it's my own diet.
92
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:16,547
The Triple D.
93
00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:18,466
Desperation, disgust, divorce...
94
00:04:18,549 --> 00:04:19,008
BETH:
Huh!
95
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:19,592
You mean, you and Fred?
96
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:20,969
The marriage is pffttt?!
97
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,220
TOBY:
Yeah.
98
00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:24,681
Not only are Fred and I pffttt,
but Neal and I are Thhhhrrrr!
99
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:25,348
BETH:
Neal?
100
00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:26,891
Two marriages in five years?
101
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,017
Toby!
102
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,852
GOPHER:
Good ol' 204 and 205.
103
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:30,728
REGINA:
Beth!
104
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:31,646
Toby!
105
00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:37,276
BETH/TOBY:
Regina!!
106
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,696
REGINA:
Tubby Toby, what happened to
you?
107
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,656
GOPHER:
Two divorces and thirty-five
pounds went just like that.
108
00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:43,700
BETH:
Oh, this is just like the good
old days!
109
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,994
REGINA:
Whoever thought of this reunion
was a genius.
110
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:46,911
BETH:
Oh, it was your idea.
111
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,496
REGINA:
How about that?
112
00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:50,373
GOPHER:
Did I ever tell you about the
time I bit a bowling ball in
half?
113
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,833
BETH:
Oh, we're gonna have such a
great time.
114
00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:53,668
REGINA:
Well, what are we waiting for?
115
00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:56,295
TOBY:
Well, we're waiting for this
clown to give us our rooms...
116
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,218
GOPHER:
Now, let's see...
117
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,465
CAPTAIN:
...Uh, keep it at twelve knots,
Mr. Walters.
118
00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:42,592
And call me when we're
twenty-five miles out...
119
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,385
Right...
120
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:47,305
Well, Dad, what do you think
about the Pacific Princess?
121
00:05:47,388 --> 00:05:47,972
STUBING, SR.:
Amazing.
122
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,390
CAPTAIN:
Why, thank you...
123
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:52,602
STUBING, SR.:
Amazing that we've been at sea
forty-five minutes,
124
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:55,772
and you've been on the bridge
exactly four.
125
00:05:55,855 --> 00:06:00,860
CAPTAIN:
Now, look, Dad, I...happen to
know what I'm doing, and so does
my deputy captain.
126
00:06:00,943 --> 00:06:04,238
STUBING, SR.:
As Senior Officer, I never
trusted my ship to anyone.
127
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:07,325
We didn't win the Big War
sitting in our cabins.
128
00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:10,286
We were right there in the thick
of battle.
129
00:06:10,369 --> 00:06:12,955
CAPTAIN:
Well...it just happens that it's
been a long time
130
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:17,460
since a cruise ship has been
attacked off the California
Coast...
131
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:20,505
Come in!
132
00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:21,214
GOPHER:
Uh, pardon me, sir.
133
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:23,007
Could I speak to you a moment?
134
00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:23,883
Alone?
135
00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:24,801
STUBING, SR.:
Oh, that's all right.
136
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:27,387
You can talk to me in front of
my son...
137
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,932
CAPTAIN:
What is it, Mr. Smith?
138
00:06:31,015 --> 00:06:37,313
GOPHER: Well, sir, we're having
a little problem with the number
two, E...N...G...I...N...E...
139
00:06:37,396 --> 00:06:40,817
STUBING, SR.:
Well, then, let's
F...I...X...it.
140
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,652
CAPTAIN:
Dad...please!
141
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:45,321
STUBING, SR.:
You don't have to say 'please'
to me.
142
00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:46,489
It's a pleasure to help.
143
00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:49,867
What kind of an engine do you
have...?
144
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,327
GOPHER:
A broken one...
145
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:53,329
INT.
146
00:06:53,412 --> 00:06:57,959
FLANDERS:
"Do, do, do, do, do, do..."
147
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:10,847
Well, aren't you a nice big
doggie.
148
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,723
What are you doing on this ship?
149
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:20,648
...Uh, look now, I'm just gonna
take a little swim here...
150
00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:21,357
Hey...
151
00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:32,368
Hello out there!
152
00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:33,536
Help!
153
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:47,175
TOBY:
Aren't you changed yet?
154
00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:48,801
REGINA:
I was just reading.
155
00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:51,137
BETH:
Well, don't you professors get
enough of that stuff in the
classroom?
156
00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:52,680
Let's go get some sunshine.
157
00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:55,433
REGINA:
Tennyson is very good for the
soul.
158
00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:57,393
TOBY:
Well, I don't need something to
help my soul --
159
00:07:57,476 --> 00:07:59,061
I need something to help my love
life!
160
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,396
BETH:
Right!
161
00:08:00,479 --> 00:08:02,064
Hey, let's play romance
roulette.
162
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,191
REGINA:
Oh, no!
163
00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:04,275
No!
164
00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:06,944
TOBY:
Oh, that's a great idea!
165
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:09,530
We've got a whole boatload of
guys to play it with.
166
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:10,323
BETH:
Uhm-hmm.
167
00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:11,741
REGINA:
Oh, no, romance roulette.
168
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:12,783
Come on.
169
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:15,036
I thought we gave up that
nonsense in college.
170
00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:17,955
TOBY:
Hey, what is wrong with picking
up a guy, having a little fun,
171
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,415
and then dumping him?
172
00:08:19,498 --> 00:08:21,500
Men do it all the time...
173
00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:24,754
REGINA:
Look, I am not about to make a
play for some total stranger,
174
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:27,965
just because he happens to blurt
out some silly word we pick.
175
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:29,967
BETH:
We're playing the game and
that's all there is to it.
176
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:32,553
And, Regina, you're wearing one
of my suits.
177
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:36,098
The only guy you can attract in
this thing is Jacques
Cousteau...
178
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,475
See you in the deep end.
179
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:53,950
TOBY:
Then, it's settled.
180
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,160
The code word is 'screwdriver'.
181
00:08:56,244 --> 00:09:00,623
Now, the first three guys that
come up to the bar and ask for a
screwdriver are the ones we try
to pick up, right?
182
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:01,332
BETH:
Right.
183
00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:03,167
TOBY:
Okay, who leads off?
184
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,293
REGINA:
You two start...
185
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,671
TOBY:
No, no, let's be democratic
about this.
186
00:09:06,754 --> 00:09:07,797
We'll go by age...
187
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,298
You first, Beth...
188
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,883
BETH:
Oh, youngest first...
189
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,344
DOC:
Mrs. Wilson wants a refill.
190
00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:14,470
Orange juice and vodka.
191
00:09:14,553 --> 00:09:15,471
BETH:
Oh, orange juice and vodka.
192
00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:16,597
That's my man.
193
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:17,640
TOBY:
No cheating.
194
00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:19,308
He has to say screwdriver.
195
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,017
BETH:
Okay...
196
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,648
Oooh, that looks delicious.
197
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:27,525
What is that?
198
00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:30,653
DOC:
It's...Orange juice and vodka...
199
00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:31,612
BETH:
Oh...
200
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:34,198
Well, isn't there a name for
that drink?
201
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:35,116
DOC:
Yes...
202
00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:38,452
It's...
203
00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:41,122
MORTON:
Can I have a screwdriver,
please?
204
00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:42,164
DOC:
Of course!
205
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:43,040
That's what you call it!
206
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:44,333
A screwdriver.
207
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:49,380
BETH:
Now you tell me!
208
00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:54,719
...Haven't we met someplace
before?
209
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:56,220
MORTON:
I don't know...
210
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,722
Have you ever been to
Hackensack?
211
00:09:57,805 --> 00:10:00,683
BETH:
Hackensack?
212
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:04,562
...Well, why don't we sit down
and we'll talk about it...
213
00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:06,063
ISAAC:
Sir -- your drink.
214
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,024
MORTON:
Oh, thanks...
215
00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:10,735
TOBY:
I don't mean to be forward, but
can I pick you up?
216
00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:13,487
ISAAC:
Can blue serge pick up lint?
217
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:14,405
DOC:
Excuse my friend.
218
00:10:14,488 --> 00:10:16,866
He's not as subtle as I am...
219
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:20,828
Want to see my cabin?
220
00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:23,039
MAN #1:
I'd like a Tom Collins.
221
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:24,206
MAN #2:
Scotch and soda.
222
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,709
MAN #3:
And I'll have that drink with
orange juice.
223
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:30,546
Uh, you know...an orange
blossom.
224
00:10:30,629 --> 00:10:33,507
ISAAC:
Hey, Frank -- you finally showed
up to fix my sink.
225
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,342
FRANK:
I've been busy in the engine
room.
226
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:35,885
The Captain's father was helping
me.
227
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:36,761
ISAAC:
Mmm...
228
00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:39,055
FRANK:
All right, let me have a look...
229
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:40,181
FRANK [V.O.]: Big deal.
230
00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:41,390
You coulda fixed this yourself.
231
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,684
Lemme have a screwdriver...
232
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,107
REGINA:
Allow me.
233
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,692
I'm Regina Parker...
234
00:10:54,653 --> 00:10:55,654
FRANK:
Thanks...
235
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:46,080
FLANDERS:
Okay, but do me a favor, will
you?
236
00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:48,916
Dial somebody and tell them
there's a dog in my room.....
237
00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:06,976
GOPHER:
Wow!
238
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:07,852
Julie!
239
00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:09,395
What a super gown!
240
00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:10,646
JULIE:
Thank you.
241
00:12:10,729 --> 00:12:13,524
GOPHER:
You're at the Captain's table
tonight, aren't you?
242
00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:14,650
JULIE:
That's right.
243
00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:16,152
Where is Captain Stubing?
244
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:18,821
GOPHER:
Oh, he's probably hiding from
his father.
245
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:20,030
Maybe he's in disguise...
246
00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:21,991
JULIE:
Gopher...I'll see you later.
247
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,951
GOPHER:
Have a good time...
248
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:28,956
GOPHER:
Hello, Captain Stubing.
249
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:29,498
GOPHER:
Captain Stubing.
250
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,375
CAPTAIN:
Gopher...
251
00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:33,544
STUBING, SR.:
If you'd have stayed at the
wheel, we wouldn't be a half of
degree off course.
252
00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:35,963
CAPTAIN:
Dad, that is being controlled by
the computer.
253
00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:36,338
STUBING, SR.:
Computer?
254
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,548
Computer?
255
00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:40,134
There's not a computer made that
can match the human mind...
256
00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:42,636
Do you suppose Columbus used a
computer?
257
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:46,348
CAPTAIN: Well, look, I'm not
trying to find the new world; I
just wanna get to Mexico.
258
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:49,393
STUBING, SR.:
Eight to five you don't make it.
259
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:51,812
CAPTAIN:
Ah, well, good evening, ladies
and gentlemen.
260
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:55,024
I'd like to have you meet my
father...Captain Stubing, Sr.
261
00:12:55,107 --> 00:12:57,026
MAN:
How do you do?
262
00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:58,694
JULIE:
That's the Captain's chair.
263
00:12:58,777 --> 00:12:59,737
STUBING, SR.:
Oh?
264
00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:02,490
CAPTAIN:
Dad...I'm the Captain of this
ship.
265
00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:05,993
STUBING, SR.:
I'm your father everywhere...
266
00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:11,040
You should have seen him as a
little boy.
267
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:14,043
He had curls down to here...
268
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:16,921
TOBY:
So what made you decide to
become a ship's doctor?
269
00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:20,966
DOC:
I always had a mission in life;
to heal the sick and tend to the
cute.
270
00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:29,892
BETH:
...and two steaks medium
rare...and sour cream and chives
with our baked potatoes...
271
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:34,730
and your best bottle of Cabernet
Sauvignon.
272
00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:38,067
MORTON:
And an extra breadstick,
please...
273
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:43,697
BETH:
Here's to you, darling...
274
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:48,577
Your other hand, Morton...
275
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:51,288
MORTON:
They're never gonna believe this
at the office...
276
00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:56,418
JULIE:
Well, yes, part of my job is
organizing social activities,
277
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:59,296
but I clear everything with the
Captain
278
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,756
MAN:
Seems you run a tight ship,
Stubing.
279
00:14:00,839 --> 00:14:02,091
CAPTAIN:
Oh, yes.
280
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:05,052
It's a demanding job,
but...well, as President of a
bank,
281
00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:08,889
you know that there always has
to be just one man who is the
final authority
282
00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:14,770
STUBING, SR.:
Elbows, Merrill...
283
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:19,775
ISAAC:
Here's your Irish Coffee.
284
00:14:19,858 --> 00:14:22,903
REGINA:
Oh, thanks, Isaac...
285
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:25,990
ISAAC:
Say, how come you're not up
there dancing with your friends?
286
00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:29,493
REGINA:
Oh, I...I thought I'd stay here
with Lord Byron.
287
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:32,788
ISAAC:
Oh...I guess I should have
brought two Irish Coffees.
288
00:14:32,871 --> 00:14:35,457
REGINA:
Yeah...
289
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:41,589
Uh, Isaac -- you know that
plumber that fixed your sink
today...Frank...
290
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:42,798
ISAAC:
Frank Vallone?
291
00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:44,300
REGINA:
That's him...
292
00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:47,011
How would I uh...get in touch
with him?
293
00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:48,637
ISAAC:
Oh, you're having a plumbing
problem?
294
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:49,305
REGINA:
Yes...
295
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:52,474
ISAAC: Listen, just dial 1007.
296
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,310
He's on duty tonight.
297
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,811
REGINA:
Thanks, Isaac...
298
00:14:55,894 --> 00:14:56,729
ISAAC:
No problem...
299
00:14:59,106 --> 00:14:59,773
Thank you...
300
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:25,174
GOPHER [P.A.]:
Good morning, everyone.
301
00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:28,469
This is the start of another
fun-filled day aboard the
Pacific Princess.
302
00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,638
We hope you had a restful
night...
303
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,307
Breakfast is now being served in
the Coral Dining Room,
304
00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:39,813
and we have a full schedule of
events planned to make this an
unforgettable cruise...
305
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:46,236
FLANDERS:
I'd need a lobotomy to forget
this one.....
306
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:22,940
Just taking a breath of fresh
air...
307
00:16:23,023 --> 00:16:25,359
See you later...
308
00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:28,779
Get you own phone.....
309
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:35,869
Room service...
310
00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:51,760
ISAAC:
Hey, Doc, that lady Toby sure
came on to you strong
yesterday...
311
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,555
DOC:
Yeah, and I went to sea to get
away from all that.
312
00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:58,934
JULIE:
Good morning, Captain Stubing...
313
00:16:59,017 --> 00:17:02,938
CAPTAIN:
There won't be any good mornings
until my father gets off this
ship.
314
00:17:03,021 --> 00:17:05,274
The man is driving me crazy.
315
00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:09,069
Now, look, I'm depending on all
of you to keep him busy with
activities today.
316
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,696
Just get him out of my hair...
317
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:14,450
Don't say it.....
318
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,496
STUBING, SR.:
Merrill -- now what are you
doing here?
319
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,457
You can't run a ship from the
Lido Deck.
320
00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:24,626
CAPTAIN:
Uh, yes, well, I was just on my
way to the bridge, sir.
321
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,044
STUBING, SR.:
Oh, okay, I'll...
322
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:29,965
JULIE:
Just my luck to find a young,
handsome ping pong partner.
323
00:17:30,048 --> 00:17:31,925
STUBING, SR.:
Oh, wait, I'm afraid you don't
understand.
324
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:32,509
JULIE:
It's all right.
325
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:32,801
I'll serve.
326
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:33,469
Okay.
327
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:34,803
You ready?
328
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,346
STUBING, SR.:
Oh...
329
00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:40,642
JULIE:
Oh, I'm sorry, sir, I need to
learn to keep my eye on the
ball...
330
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:41,310
Are you all right?
331
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:42,478
STUBING, SR.:
I'm fine.
332
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:44,521
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm
headed for the bridge.
333
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:46,148
DOC:
Oh, wait!
334
00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,192
How would you like a free
blood-pressure test?
335
00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:49,943
STUBING, SR.:
There's nothing wrong with my
blood pressure.
336
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,445
JULIE:
Well, how 'bout some juice?
337
00:17:51,528 --> 00:17:52,112
STUBING, SR.:
I don't want any juice.
338
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:53,322
JULIE:
Orange or tomato?
339
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:56,033
STUBING, SR.:
I don't...
340
00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:56,992
DOC:
I'm awfully sorry.
341
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:57,826
Let me get that.
342
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,411
STUBING, SR:
Please, please, please!
343
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:02,998
Does all this attention have
anything to do with keeping me
away from my son??
344
00:18:03,081 --> 00:18:04,291
ISAAC:
We're not too subtle, huh?
345
00:18:04,374 --> 00:18:06,835
STUBING, SR.:
Well, sometimes, to get an old
man's attention,
346
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:11,548
you gotta hit him with a
two-by-four...or a glass of
tomato juice....
347
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:12,549
Carry on, kids.
348
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,510
I've got a date with some sea
salt and soap.
349
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:15,552
ISAAC:
I'll get that for you.
350
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:17,137
STUBING, SR.:
It's all right, it's all
right...
351
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:20,849
You have your duties...I'll find
my way around...anywhere but the
bridge, correct?
352
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,352
...That's okay.
353
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:27,523
I'm sure that my son Merrill is
capable of running us aground
without my help...
354
00:18:30,108 --> 00:18:31,318
JULIE:
Well, mission accomplished, huh?
355
00:18:31,401 --> 00:18:31,735
ISAAC:
Yeah.
356
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:32,361
DOC:
Yeah.
357
00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:33,028
GOPHER:
Hey, you guys!
358
00:18:33,111 --> 00:18:34,530
You guys, I need some help.
359
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:37,574
A passenger just called and said
he's been trapped in his cabin
all night.
360
00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:38,992
ISAAC:
Well, get a locksmith.
361
00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:40,035
GOPHER:
It won't work...
362
00:18:40,118 --> 00:18:42,037
We need a dog catcher.
363
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:42,663
ISAAC:
Huh...?
364
00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:45,541
GOPHER:
It's that security guard dog.
365
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:47,000
He must have sneaked on board.
366
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,085
JULIE:
Well, what are we gonna do about
it?
367
00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,962
Dogs aren't allowed on board.
368
00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:54,675
JULIE:
Ohhh!
369
00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:57,427
Would you like to tell him he's
not allowed on board...?
370
00:18:58,470 --> 00:18:59,763
TOBY:
Okay, let's hear it!
371
00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:02,850
You weren't at dinner last
night, we haven't seen you all
day...
372
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:05,561
Now, this plumber of yours must
be pretty hot stuff.
373
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:06,562
BETH:
Yeah.
374
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:08,689
Come on, tell us about the
'Prince of Pipes.'
375
00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:10,941
REGINA:
There is very little to tell
you...
376
00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:14,069
His name is Frank Vallone, an
ex-Marine from Baltimore...
377
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:22,411
TOBY:
Oh, he's just my type -- tall,
dark and brutal.
378
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,746
BETH:
You mean, nothing's happened?
379
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:27,416
REGINA:
Well, I told you -- I can't see
him because he's on call.
380
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:30,252
TOBY:
Oh, he's on call -- well, I'll
call then.
381
00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:31,128
REGINA:
Oh, no.
382
00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:32,087
What are you doing?
383
00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:33,547
BETH:
If he's a plumber, let him
plumb!
384
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:34,756
REGINA:
Look, don't worry about me.
385
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,049
I've got Lord Byron.
386
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:36,758
TOBY:
Byron?
387
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:37,676
Oh...
388
00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:39,052
Does Tennyson know you're
cheating on him?
389
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:41,597
BETH:
We're playing the game, Regina,
and so are you, remember?
390
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:42,431
TOBY:
Operator?
391
00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:43,891
What's the number for
maintenance?
392
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:44,933
REGINA:
1007...
393
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:51,189
Look, you really don't have to
do this, you know.
394
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:52,399
TOBY/BETH:
We know...
395
00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:55,611
TOBY:
Maintenance?
396
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:59,114
Yes, this is Cabin 206,
Promenade Deck...
397
00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:03,785
Yeah, I dropped my ring down the
sink...
398
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:04,786
Thanks.
399
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,121
BETH:
Ah, it's just like a romantic
novel...
400
00:20:06,204 --> 00:20:08,457
'The Wench and the Wrench.
401
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:09,499
TOBY/BETH:
Bye!.....
402
00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:31,647
P.J.:
Stop right there, Buster.
403
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:33,649
Galley's off limits to
passengers.
404
00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:34,816
STUBING, SR.:
I beg your pardon?
405
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:35,901
P.J.:
You heard what I said.
406
00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:38,487
Now get the barnacles off your
hull and make waves!
407
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:39,237
STUBING, SR.:
Trim your pipes!
408
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,657
You sound like a beached
tugboat.
409
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:45,327
I've had a small mishap and I'm
looking for some sea salt for
this stain.
410
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:52,668
P.J.:
What do you know about sea salt?
411
00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:55,170
P.J.:
Don't tell me what sailors know.
412
00:20:55,253 --> 00:20:57,130
I've been at sea for forty
years.
413
00:20:57,214 --> 00:21:01,134
STUBING, SR.:
Well, in that case, you should
know how to address a captain
when you see one!
414
00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:03,512
P.J.:
My Captain is Merrill Stubing,
Jr.
415
00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:05,681
And when I see him, I call him
'sir'...
416
00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:07,724
Here's your sea salt, Buster...!
417
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:10,519
STUBING, SR.:
I've never heard of such
insubordination.
418
00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:13,730
Do not be surprised if this
isn't your last voyage.
419
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:16,233
P.J.:
Ah, blow it out your ear!
420
00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:18,902
They're casting me adrift after
this trip, anyway...
421
00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:22,114
Mandatory retirement.
422
00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:25,909
STUBING, SR.:
I know what you mean...I was
recently piped ashore myself.
423
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:27,160
P.J.:
How you handling it?
424
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:28,996
Miss the sea?
425
00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:30,872
STUBING, SR.:
That's a silly question...
426
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,124
P.J.:
Isn't it something?
427
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:36,586
They throw us out for fish bait
just when we're in our prime.
428
00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:38,255
STUBING, SR.:
Yeah...
429
00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:43,051
P.J.:
I don't know what's left for me,
except to go and be a burden to
my kids...
430
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:46,054
STUBING, SR.:
I know what you mean...
431
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:49,349
P.J.:
Powerful onions...got to me.
432
00:21:49,433 --> 00:21:52,060
STUBING, SR.:
Yeah, I understand...
433
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:55,063
P.J.:
By the way, I'm P.J. Muldoon.
434
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:58,567
But don't get any fancy ideas
about my P.J.'s.
435
00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:00,402
STUBING, SR.:
I'm Merrill Stubing, Sr.
436
00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:03,196
But you can call me Stubby...
437
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:08,201
P.J.:
Funny, that's just what I was
gonna call you...
438
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:09,369
STUBING, SR.:
P.J.
439
00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:13,790
P.J.:
Stubby...I'll be derned, he does
have a father...
440
00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:21,548
FRANK:
Are you sure you dropped your
ring down the drain?
441
00:22:21,631 --> 00:22:23,216
I had the trap off.
442
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:24,968
REGINA:
I thought I was sure.
443
00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:28,847
I -- I mean, this hand was --
was just as bare as
this...hand...
444
00:22:28,930 --> 00:22:31,099
FRANK:
Oh, well, here's your problem...
445
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:33,935
You're wearing one of those
famous Mexican Jumping Rings...
446
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:39,733
REGINA:
Ha, ha, ha...I'm sorry about the
false alarm.
447
00:22:39,816 --> 00:22:42,944
FRANK:
Oh, hey, forget it...
448
00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:46,782
Well, I better shove off.
449
00:22:46,865 --> 00:22:48,283
Hey, Byron...
450
00:22:48,366 --> 00:22:49,618
That's good stuff...
451
00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:51,119
REGINA:
You've studied Byron?
452
00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:54,998
FRANK:
A little...I used to write some
stuff, too.
453
00:22:55,082 --> 00:22:59,753
But when you're scrounging for
your daily pasta, poetry isn't
exactly your main order of
business.
454
00:22:59,836 --> 00:23:01,296
REGINA:
I'd love to read it...
455
00:23:01,379 --> 00:23:02,547
Your poetry...
456
00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:04,299
FRANK:
Oh, come on...
457
00:23:04,382 --> 00:23:07,177
REGINA:
No, Frank -- I'm -- I'm a -- I'm
a college professor.
458
00:23:07,260 --> 00:23:08,970
English Literature is my
specialty.
459
00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:11,807
I -- I would love to read your
poetry...
460
00:23:11,890 --> 00:23:18,605
Please?
461
00:23:21,858 --> 00:23:26,321
REGINA:
Well...maybe I'll meet you up
there...sometime...
462
00:23:26,404 --> 00:23:28,532
FRANK:
Yeah, sometime...
463
00:23:28,615 --> 00:23:29,491
Who knows?
464
00:23:29,574 --> 00:23:34,371
It's a big ship...but it's a
small world...
465
00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:37,082
Bye...
466
00:23:52,472 --> 00:23:55,559
GOPHER:
Don't worry, Mr. Flanders, we'll
have you out of there in no
time!
467
00:23:55,642 --> 00:23:56,518
FLANDERS [Off Screen]:
Yeah, well, hurry up!
468
00:23:56,601 --> 00:23:58,228
I'm starving to death here!
469
00:23:58,311 --> 00:24:01,690
ISAAC:
Listen, while the dog's busy
eating the meat, you make a dash
for the door.
470
00:24:01,773 --> 00:24:03,066
FLANDERS [Off Screen]:
Okay, okay...!
471
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:25,589
GOPHER:
Oh...Mr. Flanders, we'll be
right back.
472
00:24:25,672 --> 00:24:27,716
We're just gonna get him some
dessert.
473
00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:52,073
P.J.:
Gin.
474
00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:54,367
I got you on a double schnide.
475
00:24:54,451 --> 00:24:56,912
STUBING, SR.:
That's $25,000 I owe you.
476
00:24:56,995 --> 00:24:58,663
P.J.:
I love gin.
477
00:24:58,747 --> 00:25:00,207
STUBING, SR.:
Me, too.
478
00:25:00,290 --> 00:25:01,583
Would you like another?
479
00:25:01,666 --> 00:25:03,418
P.J.:
One's enough...
480
00:25:03,501 --> 00:25:04,878
It's time for you to haul it out
of my galley.
481
00:25:04,961 --> 00:25:06,546
I've got spuds to peel.
482
00:25:06,630 --> 00:25:07,923
STUBING, SR.:
Don't you have two peelers?
483
00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:09,883
P.J.:
Huh?
484
00:25:09,966 --> 00:25:11,259
STUBING, SR.:
I should know how to peel
potatoes.
485
00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:13,261
I've commanded entire ships...
486
00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:16,473
Thank you, Madam...
487
00:25:36,868 --> 00:25:37,786
REGINA:
Frank...
488
00:25:37,869 --> 00:25:40,038
FRANK:
Hi...
489
00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:45,794
REGINA:
I was hoping you'd be here
tonight...
490
00:25:45,877 --> 00:25:48,588
FRANK:
I was hoping you'd be hoping.
491
00:25:48,672 --> 00:25:51,466
REGINA:
Did you bring one of your poems?
492
00:25:51,549 --> 00:25:54,928
FRANK:
I...might have one here
somewhere...
493
00:25:55,011 --> 00:25:58,682
REGINA:
Cough it up, or I'll have to
frisk you...
494
00:25:58,765 --> 00:26:00,183
FRANK:
I found it...
495
00:26:06,064 --> 00:26:06,982
You don't want to hear this.
496
00:26:07,065 --> 00:26:07,774
REGINA:
Oh, I do.
497
00:26:07,857 --> 00:26:13,321
I do, really...
498
00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:18,034
FRANK:
By day I wrestle steel
And engines purr
Beneath my deft wrenches.
499
00:26:18,118 --> 00:26:20,287
But men are fools...
500
00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:22,664
At night I wrestle words
501
00:26:22,747 --> 00:26:28,169
Trying to say, "I love you"
With unfamiliar tools...
502
00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:30,130
That's it...
503
00:26:30,213 --> 00:26:32,299
It's rotten, right?
504
00:26:32,382 --> 00:26:34,217
REGINA:
It's beautiful.
505
00:26:34,301 --> 00:26:36,845
May I keep it?
506
00:26:36,928 --> 00:26:39,014
FRANK:
Yeah, sure...
507
00:26:39,097 --> 00:26:40,849
Uh, but not for free...
508
00:26:40,932 --> 00:26:43,852
A poet has to get paid, or he
isn't a legit poet.
509
00:26:43,935 --> 00:26:45,520
REGINA:
Name your price.
510
00:26:45,603 --> 00:26:50,650
FRANK:
It's yours for...for a dance...
511
00:26:50,734 --> 00:26:53,361
REGINA:
What'll we do for music?
512
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:57,032
FRANK:
Make our own music.
513
00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:20,430
MORTON:
One, two, three -- turn two,
three...
514
00:27:20,513 --> 00:27:23,725
One, two, three -- turn two,
three....
515
00:27:23,808 --> 00:27:26,353
BETH:
Oh, Morton, I love the way you
dance.
516
00:27:26,436 --> 00:27:28,563
Where did you learn to move that
way?
517
00:27:28,646 --> 00:27:29,564
MORTON:
At the 'Y'.
518
00:27:29,647 --> 00:27:31,524
BETH:
Oh, kiss me, kiss me.
519
00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:33,693
I can't wait another minute.
520
00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:36,237
MORTON:
I can't believe this is
happening to me.
521
00:27:36,321 --> 00:27:37,405
BETH:
Kiss me, Morton.
522
00:27:37,489 --> 00:27:40,450
MORTON:
I'll be right with you.....
523
00:27:51,461 --> 00:27:52,212
BETH:
Oh.....
524
00:27:55,965 --> 00:27:58,218
P.J.:
Wasn't that a wonderful movie?
525
00:27:58,301 --> 00:27:59,094
STUBING, SR.:
I don't know.
526
00:27:59,177 --> 00:28:00,220
It was a little too mushy for my
taste.
527
00:28:00,303 --> 00:28:03,473
People don't just fall in love
like that in one day...
528
00:28:03,556 --> 00:28:06,768
P.J.:
Yeah...you're right...
529
00:28:28,581 --> 00:28:31,084
REGINA:
A penny for your thoughts...
530
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:36,464
A dollar...?
531
00:28:36,548 --> 00:28:39,092
FRANK:
I was just thinking...
532
00:28:39,175 --> 00:28:42,345
It's amazing how things
happen...
533
00:28:42,429 --> 00:28:51,813
If -- if I hadn't been fixing
Isaac's sink...and you hadn't
handed me a screwdriver...we
would never have met.
534
00:28:51,896 --> 00:28:53,982
REGINA:
...Fate...
535
00:28:54,065 --> 00:28:56,651
FRANK:
I haven't had a crush on a
teacher in years.
536
00:28:56,734 --> 00:28:59,696
REGINA:
Oh, I bet you say that to all
the passengers.
537
00:28:59,779 --> 00:29:05,160
FRANK:
I've been on this ship for seven
years...and this is the first
time I've ever...
538
00:29:05,243 --> 00:29:06,786
'met' a passenger...
539
00:29:11,833 --> 00:29:15,211
REGINA:
I...should be getting back to my
cabin...
540
00:29:15,295 --> 00:29:20,175
FRANK:
Yeah, and I should get to
work...
541
00:29:24,429 --> 00:29:26,389
Oh, the hell with my work...
542
00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:28,892
REGINA:
Oh, the hell with my cabin...
543
00:29:30,935 --> 00:29:32,812
DOC:
Okay, believe me, this is gonna
work.
544
00:29:32,896 --> 00:29:35,356
There's enough tranquilizer in
here to put an elephant to
sleep.
545
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:39,027
Now, it's not gonna hurt
him...but it'll put him out
like...
546
00:29:39,110 --> 00:29:41,321
CAPTAIN:
Well, if it works, I'll try it
on my father...
547
00:29:47,660 --> 00:29:50,038
GOPHER:
This should do it, Mr. Flanders.
548
00:29:59,631 --> 00:30:00,673
MR. FLANDERS:
Room Service...
549
00:30:03,426 --> 00:30:05,053
Did he eat it yet?
550
00:30:05,136 --> 00:30:06,054
CAPTAIN:
I can't tell...
551
00:30:06,137 --> 00:30:08,056
DOC:
It's the best chopped sirloin on
board.
552
00:30:08,139 --> 00:30:09,140
He'll eat it.
553
00:30:09,224 --> 00:30:10,433
FLANDERS:
Thanks a lot, guys.
554
00:30:10,517 --> 00:30:13,895
That was delicious...
555
00:30:13,978 --> 00:30:15,813
CAPTAIN:
Flanders is eating it.....
556
00:30:26,449 --> 00:30:28,076
FLANDERS:
Oh...
557
00:30:44,008 --> 00:30:47,387
STUBING, SR.:
Well, you look shipshape
today...
558
00:30:47,470 --> 00:30:49,138
P.J.:
I know -- I'm shaped like a
ship.
559
00:30:49,222 --> 00:30:50,390
STUBING, SR.:
Oh, come on...
560
00:30:50,473 --> 00:30:52,934
You're a very attractive woman,
P.J.
561
00:30:53,017 --> 00:30:56,145
P.J.:
You better see Doc and get your
eyes checked.
562
00:30:56,229 --> 00:30:58,356
STUBING, SR.:
You just don't know how to take
a compliment, do you?
563
00:30:58,439 --> 00:30:59,607
P.J.:
Yes, I do.
564
00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:01,276
Try me...
565
00:31:01,359 --> 00:31:03,111
STUBING, SR.:
Well, I like your...
566
00:31:03,194 --> 00:31:04,445
P.J.:
My what?
567
00:31:04,529 --> 00:31:06,614
STUBING, SR.:
You didn't let me finish!
568
00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:11,286
P.J.:
Was it that hard for you to
think of something nice to say?
569
00:31:11,369 --> 00:31:13,413
STUBING, SR.:
I like your hairdo!
570
00:31:13,496 --> 00:31:15,373
P.J.:
That shows how little you
know...
571
00:31:15,456 --> 00:31:17,625
The sea air makes my hair
frizzy!
572
00:31:17,709 --> 00:31:19,127
STUBING, SR.:
You're impossible!
573
00:31:19,210 --> 00:31:20,795
P.J.:
So are you!
574
00:31:20,878 --> 00:31:21,879
GOPHER:
Hi, sir...
575
00:31:21,963 --> 00:31:23,840
STUBING, SR.:
Hi...
576
00:31:23,923 --> 00:31:25,133
GOPHER:
Hi, P.J.
577
00:31:25,216 --> 00:31:26,175
P.J.:
Hi, Gopher.
578
00:31:26,259 --> 00:31:27,760
GOPHER:
You sure look nice today.
579
00:31:27,844 --> 00:31:29,470
P.J.:
Thank you...
580
00:31:29,554 --> 00:31:33,141
GOPHER:
Mmm, my favorite...
581
00:31:33,224 --> 00:31:36,477
Carry on.
582
00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:39,856
STUBING, SR.:
....Now, do you see how easy it
was to take a compliment?
583
00:31:39,939 --> 00:31:41,274
P.J.:
It's different coming from him.
584
00:31:41,357 --> 00:31:42,984
STUBING, SR.:
Why?
585
00:31:43,067 --> 00:31:44,652
P.J.:
'Cause it doesn't matter as
much.
586
00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:46,779
STUBING, SR.:
I didn't hear you.
587
00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:48,823
P.J.:
You going deaf, you old buzzard?
588
00:31:48,906 --> 00:31:51,492
I said, it doesn't matter as
much coming from him!
589
00:31:51,576 --> 00:31:55,788
STUBING, SR.:
You mean it matters more from
me...?
590
00:31:55,872 --> 00:31:57,665
P.J.:
I didn't say that...
591
00:31:57,749 --> 00:31:59,792
STUBING, SR.:
That's the nicest thing you ever
didn't say...
592
00:31:59,876 --> 00:32:00,835
Ha, ha, ha...
593
00:32:00,918 --> 00:32:02,378
P.J.: Mmm...
594
00:32:02,462 --> 00:32:04,464
Well...
595
00:32:07,258 --> 00:32:09,177
CAPTAIN:
Uh, enter...
596
00:32:09,260 --> 00:32:10,803
Uhm-hmm...
597
00:32:10,887 --> 00:32:13,014
Si...
598
00:32:13,097 --> 00:32:15,433
Si...
599
00:32:15,516 --> 00:32:17,060
Uh...muchas gracias...
600
00:32:17,143 --> 00:32:18,686
Adios...
601
00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:19,854
Yes...?
602
00:32:19,937 --> 00:32:22,732
JULIE:
Sir, Mr. Flanders isn't
answering his phone.
603
00:32:22,815 --> 00:32:24,359
I think he's still sleeping.
604
00:32:24,442 --> 00:32:26,402
He's gonna be hopping mad when
he wakes up and
605
00:32:26,486 --> 00:32:29,864
we've run out of ideas about how
to get that dog out of his
cabin.
606
00:32:29,947 --> 00:32:32,950
CAPTAIN:
Well, I just spoke to the SPCA
in Mazatlan,
607
00:32:33,034 --> 00:32:35,953
they're coming aboard tomorrow
morning with a tranquilizer gun.
608
00:32:36,037 --> 00:32:37,205
JULIE:
They better have two shots.
609
00:32:37,288 --> 00:32:38,539
One for the dog, and one for Mr.
610
00:32:38,623 --> 00:32:39,499
Flanders...
611
00:32:40,583 --> 00:32:42,543
Sir, I'm really sorry.
612
00:32:42,627 --> 00:32:44,504
CAPTAIN:
It's not your fault...
613
00:32:44,587 --> 00:32:46,964
Besides, you're doing a great
job of keeping my father busy.
614
00:32:47,048 --> 00:32:48,549
JULIE:
Oh, that wasn't difficult.
615
00:32:48,633 --> 00:32:49,550
See, he's...
616
00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:51,552
CAPTAIN:
I don't need to know the
details...
617
00:32:51,636 --> 00:32:57,558
I'm just very pleased that
you've got him doing something
that...well, gives me some peace
and quiet...
618
00:32:57,642 --> 00:32:59,686
JULIE:
Well, it's not exactly
'something'.
619
00:32:59,769 --> 00:33:03,022
It's more like...'someone'.
620
00:33:03,106 --> 00:33:04,023
CAPTAIN:
Oh.
621
00:33:04,107 --> 00:33:08,403
You mean he's...found some nice
elderly cronies?
622
00:33:08,486 --> 00:33:13,741
JULIE:
Well...it's only one 'crony',
and, actually, sir, it's a lady.
623
00:33:13,825 --> 00:33:16,202
CAPTAIN:
Miss McCoy!
624
00:33:16,285 --> 00:33:18,454
A stroke of genius!
625
00:33:18,538 --> 00:33:20,373
JULIE:
Well, it wasn't anything I
arranged.
626
00:33:20,456 --> 00:33:22,458
They...found each other...
627
00:33:22,542 --> 00:33:23,251
CAPTAIN:
They did?
628
00:33:23,334 --> 00:33:24,711
JULIE:
Uhm-hmm.
629
00:33:24,794 --> 00:33:27,588
And I understand he's inviting
her to dinner at your table
tonight...
630
00:33:27,672 --> 00:33:31,426
Wouldn't it be wonderful if
something permanent came out of
all this?
631
00:33:31,509 --> 00:33:32,427
CAPTAIN:
Dismissed.
632
00:33:32,510 --> 00:33:33,428
JULIE:
Yes, sir...
633
00:33:52,530 --> 00:33:55,783
TOBY:
Do you realize, between the two
of us, we've been married six
times?
634
00:33:55,867 --> 00:33:59,120
DOC:
We'll just have to keep doing it
till we get it right...
635
00:34:05,084 --> 00:34:07,628
CAPTAIN:
Well, how do I look?
636
00:34:07,712 --> 00:34:08,671
JULIE:
Fine, sir.
637
00:34:08,755 --> 00:34:10,673
Your usual captainy self.
638
00:34:10,757 --> 00:34:11,466
Why?
639
00:34:11,549 --> 00:34:13,176
CAPTAIN:
Why?
640
00:34:13,259 --> 00:34:18,639
Well, I just want to make sure
that everything is right for my
father and...his lady.
641
00:34:18,723 --> 00:34:21,851
JULIE:
Well, from what I hear, they
only have eyes for each other.
642
00:34:21,934 --> 00:34:25,062
Don't worry, they'll never even
notice us...
643
00:34:25,146 --> 00:34:27,315
CAPTAIN:
Well, just in case they do...
644
00:34:27,398 --> 00:34:29,150
Elbows, Miss McCoy...
645
00:34:30,693 --> 00:34:33,446
JULIE:
Yes, sir...
646
00:34:33,529 --> 00:34:35,656
P.J.:
I've never eaten in the dining
room before.
647
00:34:35,740 --> 00:34:37,533
Is it squared with Captain
Stubing?
648
00:34:37,617 --> 00:34:40,995
STUBING, SR.:
P.J., my girl, I'm proud to have
you sailing in my fleet.
649
00:34:41,078 --> 00:34:44,749
If that son of mine opens his
yap, I'll send him adrift in a
life boat.
650
00:34:44,832 --> 00:34:45,833
Ladies and gentlemen.
651
00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:47,210
Good evening, one and all.
652
00:34:47,293 --> 00:34:50,838
I have the honor of presenting
Mrs. P.J. Muldoon.
653
00:34:50,922 --> 00:34:52,715
CAPTAIN:
P.J. Muldoon?!
654
00:34:52,799 --> 00:34:54,550
P.J.:
Get out the life boat.
655
00:34:54,634 --> 00:34:55,718
Howdy all...
656
00:34:55,802 --> 00:34:57,553
How ya doing, Captain?
657
00:34:57,637 --> 00:34:59,180
CAPTAIN: Oh, just -- just --
just swell...
658
00:34:59,263 --> 00:35:00,264
STUBING, SR.:
Come, dear.
659
00:35:00,348 --> 00:35:02,391
Sit on the Captain's
right...where you belong...
660
00:35:02,475 --> 00:35:04,185
P.J.:
That's nice...
661
00:35:04,268 --> 00:35:05,061
STUBING, SR.:
She's a lot of fun.
662
00:35:05,144 --> 00:35:06,687
Just listen to everything she
says.
663
00:35:06,771 --> 00:35:08,022
P.J.:
Hi, y'all.
664
00:35:08,105 --> 00:35:10,525
CAPTAIN:
Forgive my surprise, Dad, but
I'm used to seeing Mrs.
665
00:35:10,608 --> 00:35:11,859
Muldoon below deck.
666
00:35:11,943 --> 00:35:14,195
STUBING, SR.:
Are you indeed?
667
00:35:14,278 --> 00:35:17,532
CAPTAIN:
The kitchen help do not eat in
the dining room...
668
00:35:20,243 --> 00:35:21,994
STUBING, SR.:
Very well, Captain.
669
00:35:22,078 --> 00:35:24,372
Come, my dear, we can dine in my
cabin...
670
00:35:24,455 --> 00:35:26,374
It's small, but it's not as
stuffy as it is in here.
671
00:35:26,457 --> 00:35:27,333
Come, dear...
672
00:35:28,251 --> 00:35:30,628
CAPTAIN:
Dad?
673
00:35:36,300 --> 00:35:37,051
JULIE:
Captain, are you all right?
674
00:35:37,134 --> 00:35:38,219
CAPTAIN:
Hmm?
675
00:35:38,302 --> 00:35:44,392
Oh...yes, I'm just...I'm just
fine...
676
00:35:46,978 --> 00:35:57,864
BETH:
Well, tomorrow Mazatlan and then
home.
677
00:35:57,947 --> 00:36:03,035
Goodbye, Doc -- so long,
Morton...
678
00:36:03,119 --> 00:36:08,207
BETH:
You know, for someone who did
not want to get involved in our
little game of romance roulette,
679
00:36:08,291 --> 00:36:10,710
Regina certainly did get into
the swing of things.
680
00:36:10,793 --> 00:36:12,128
TOBY:
Yeah.
681
00:36:12,211 --> 00:36:15,256
I hope she finds a way to dump
the plumber without breaking his
heart, .
682
00:36:15,339 --> 00:36:18,259
or his wrench, or whatever you
break on a plumber
683
00:36:18,342 --> 00:36:20,052
BETH:
No, Regina's got class...
684
00:36:20,136 --> 00:36:26,934
She'll find a nice literate way
to say goodbye like...'Beat it,
Buster!' ...Let's go.....
685
00:36:54,378 --> 00:36:55,796
REGINA:
I'm sorry I'm late.
686
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:56,672
FRANK:
That's okay.
687
00:36:56,756 --> 00:36:59,967
I just wanted to say, 'See you
around'.
688
00:37:00,051 --> 00:37:00,468
REGINA:
What's wrong?
689
00:37:00,551 --> 00:37:02,345
FRANK:
Nothing.
690
00:37:02,428 --> 00:37:07,016
We both had the perfect
cruise...'Fun-filled nights,
etc., etc.!' ...But enough's
enough, hmm?
691
00:37:07,850 --> 00:37:08,309
REGINA:
Frank!
692
00:37:08,392 --> 00:37:09,685
What's the matter??
693
00:37:09,769 --> 00:37:11,687
FRANK:
Let me put it in a poem.
694
00:37:11,771 --> 00:37:16,275
'Fun is fun, but now it's done'
Stick that in your scrapbook...
695
00:37:33,626 --> 00:37:34,794
CAPTAIN:
Hello, father.
696
00:37:34,877 --> 00:37:37,046
STUBING, SR.:
Well, Merrill...what an
unexpected bummer!
697
00:37:37,129 --> 00:37:38,089
Come in...
698
00:37:40,091 --> 00:37:44,679
CAPTAIN: I came to
apologize...I'm afraid I
overreacted
699
00:37:44,762 --> 00:37:49,684
when you brought your friend to
my table...I'm sorry.
700
00:37:49,767 --> 00:37:51,519
STUBING, SR.:
Accepted...
701
00:37:51,602 --> 00:37:55,314
CAPTAIN:
But, Dad, with a whole shipload
of passengers, couldn't you have
picked somebody...?
702
00:37:55,398 --> 00:37:56,774
STUBING, SR.:
More suitable?
703
00:37:56,857 --> 00:37:57,566
CAPTAIN:
Well...
704
00:37:57,650 --> 00:37:58,693
STUBING, SR.:
Suitable for whom?
705
00:37:58,776 --> 00:38:01,654
I didn't go looking for someone
to fit into your life.
706
00:38:01,737 --> 00:38:04,198
I was looking for someone to fit
into mine.
707
00:38:04,281 --> 00:38:08,160
CAPTAIN:
Now, look, I know you're
lonely...but a cruise ship is a
funny place --
708
00:38:08,244 --> 00:38:11,914
people fall in love every
night...and then when they get
off the ship...
709
00:38:11,998 --> 00:38:12,873
STUBING, SR.:
Fine...
710
00:38:12,957 --> 00:38:16,502
But that's not the case between
me and P.J.
711
00:38:16,585 --> 00:38:18,838
I've asked her to be my wife...
712
00:38:20,256 --> 00:38:21,507
CAPTAIN:
I see...
713
00:38:21,590 --> 00:38:24,093
STUBING, SR.:
Well, aren't you happy for me?
714
00:38:24,176 --> 00:38:25,636
...I'm happy for me.
715
00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:27,054
CAPTAIN:
Well, sure, I'm happy for you.
716
00:38:27,138 --> 00:38:31,225
I'm happy that you've finally
found someone whose company you
enjoy...
717
00:38:31,308 --> 00:38:32,393
But marriage?
718
00:38:32,476 --> 00:38:36,230
STUBING, SR.:
Okay, Merrill...I see where you
stand.
719
00:38:36,313 --> 00:38:40,568
But I'm going to marry
P.J....with or without your
blessings...
720
00:38:43,821 --> 00:38:46,824
From now on, you stay out of my
life, and I'll stay out of
yours.
721
00:38:48,993 --> 00:38:50,161
Go on.
722
00:38:50,244 --> 00:38:52,121
Get up on the bridge where you
belong...
723
00:39:01,172 --> 00:39:05,217
CAPTAIN:
Dad...
724
00:39:05,301 --> 00:39:07,678
STUBING, SR.:
Dismissed!
725
00:39:15,895 --> 00:39:18,314
P.J.:
He's right, you know, Stubby.
726
00:39:18,397 --> 00:39:20,024
STUBING, SR.:
Right, about what?
727
00:39:20,107 --> 00:39:21,567
P.J.:
About us.
728
00:39:21,650 --> 00:39:23,778
I don't fit in with your family.
729
00:39:23,861 --> 00:39:25,112
I never could.
730
00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:26,614
STUBING, SR.:
Who cares about my family?
731
00:39:26,697 --> 00:39:27,490
What about me??
732
00:39:27,573 --> 00:39:30,576
P.J.:
You're a swell guy, Stubby...
733
00:39:30,659 --> 00:39:32,328
You'll find somebody else.
734
00:39:32,411 --> 00:39:33,871
STUBING, SR.:
Wait - P.J.
735
00:39:33,954 --> 00:39:34,747
-- listen!
736
00:39:34,830 --> 00:39:37,458
P.J.!!!
737
00:39:47,718 --> 00:39:49,261
JULIE:
You're sure that that won't hurt
the dog?
738
00:39:49,345 --> 00:39:49,970
SPCA MAN:
No.
739
00:39:50,054 --> 00:39:53,974
He'll just have a good siesta...
740
00:39:54,058 --> 00:39:54,767
GOPHER:
Okay.
741
00:39:54,850 --> 00:39:55,643
You ready?
742
00:39:55,726 --> 00:39:56,143
SPCA MAN:
Ready.
743
00:39:56,227 --> 00:39:56,977
GOPHER:
All right.
744
00:39:57,061 --> 00:40:01,190
I'll open the door, and you
shoot.
745
00:40:01,273 --> 00:40:02,650
FLANDERS [O.S.]:
Hey, don't shoot!
746
00:40:02,733 --> 00:40:04,151
SPCA MAN:
Why not??
747
00:40:04,235 --> 00:40:06,612
It's only a tranquilizer!
748
00:40:06,695 --> 00:40:10,324
FLANDERS:
Come on in here...
749
00:40:12,535 --> 00:40:13,327
Hi, guys...
750
00:40:13,410 --> 00:40:18,165
JULIE:
Oh...look...
751
00:40:18,249 --> 00:40:19,583
JULIE:
Oh, look...
752
00:40:19,667 --> 00:40:22,878
FLANDERS:
This is 'Gopher', 'Doc', and
'Jul...' no, wait a minute.
753
00:40:22,962 --> 00:40:23,879
Stay.
754
00:40:23,963 --> 00:40:30,010
This is 'Doc', 'Julie',
'Gopher', and 'Isaac'.
755
00:40:30,094 --> 00:40:33,139
DOC:
Then I guess the little bald one
at the end is...
756
00:40:33,222 --> 00:40:34,932
CAPTAIN:
Don't say it...
757
00:40:51,282 --> 00:40:52,032
FRANK:
All right, all right!
758
00:40:52,116 --> 00:40:53,033
Take it easy!
759
00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:53,993
What's the.....
760
00:40:54,076 --> 00:40:56,662
TOBY:
You are a bum and a rat!
761
00:40:56,745 --> 00:40:57,997
BETH:
You're a plummy crummer!
762
00:40:58,080 --> 00:40:58,706
TOBY:
A crummy plumber.
763
00:40:58,789 --> 00:40:59,456
BETH:
He knows what I mean.
764
00:40:59,540 --> 00:41:00,249
FRANK:
What's bugging you two?
765
00:41:00,332 --> 00:41:03,169
TOBY:
You are an animal, Frank!
766
00:41:03,252 --> 00:41:06,839
BETH:
The way you treated Regina -- I
mean, you broke her heart for no
good reason!
767
00:41:06,922 --> 00:41:10,509
FRANK:
Big deal...I dumped her...I only
beat her to the punch...
768
00:41:10,593 --> 00:41:12,887
Isn't that how you play your
romance roulette?
769
00:41:12,970 --> 00:41:14,054
BETH:
Uh...
770
00:41:14,138 --> 00:41:14,513
TOBY:
Uh...
771
00:41:14,597 --> 00:41:15,472
FRANK:
Yeah...
772
00:41:15,556 --> 00:41:17,558
Yeah, I heard the two of you up
on the deck.
773
00:41:17,641 --> 00:41:21,395
Just because I'm a working stiff
doesn't mean I can be exploited
by some chick playing a school
girl game.
774
00:41:21,478 --> 00:41:22,897
TOBY:
All right, all right...
775
00:41:22,980 --> 00:41:28,235
Maybe we were playing
around...but the poor kid was
dead serious, Frank.
776
00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:29,361
BETH:
Right...
777
00:41:29,445 --> 00:41:30,446
FRANK:
Like hell she was.
778
00:41:30,529 --> 00:41:31,238
Now, will you please leave?
779
00:41:31,322 --> 00:41:33,365
Will you...?
780
00:41:33,449 --> 00:41:35,117
REGINA:
What are you two doing here?
781
00:41:35,201 --> 00:41:37,912
TOBY:
We were just trying to
straighten out your idiot
plumber.
782
00:41:37,995 --> 00:41:40,748
REGINA:
Well, if there's any
straightening out to be done,
I'll do it myself.
783
00:41:40,831 --> 00:41:41,790
Now, everybody out!
784
00:41:41,874 --> 00:41:42,416
BETH:
But, Regina, we were just...
785
00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:43,209
REGINA:
You heard me.
786
00:41:43,292 --> 00:41:44,043
Out!
787
00:41:44,126 --> 00:41:44,752
Beat it!
788
00:41:44,835 --> 00:41:45,377
Scram!
789
00:41:49,381 --> 00:41:53,469
I'm sorry about my friends...and
I just came to say goodbye...
790
00:41:53,552 --> 00:41:56,597
FRANK:
So, say it...
791
00:41:56,680 --> 00:42:00,976
REGINA:
Before I do, I -- I just want to
tell you that the past three
days have been the best...
792
00:42:01,060 --> 00:42:01,769
FRANK:
Good.
793
00:42:01,852 --> 00:42:03,604
Your romance roulette paid
off...
794
00:42:03,687 --> 00:42:06,398
That's what games are for, to
have fun...
795
00:42:10,319 --> 00:42:11,195
REGINA:
You know about that?
796
00:42:11,278 --> 00:42:14,615
FRANK:
Yeah.
797
00:42:14,698 --> 00:42:17,785
REGINA:
Well, Frank, what we had wasn't
a game...
798
00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:19,620
FRANK:
Yeah, sure...
799
00:42:19,703 --> 00:42:24,500
REGINA:
Oh, I know it started out as a
game, and I'm -- I'm sorry it
did, and I'm ashamed.
800
00:42:24,583 --> 00:42:36,595
Because somewhere along the
line, it -- it stopped being a
game...I meant every word I said
to you...
801
00:42:36,679 --> 00:42:43,018
FRANK:
I thought you came to say
goodbye...I didn't hear you say
it.
802
00:42:43,102 --> 00:42:50,442
REGINA:
I can't...I don't want to...I
don't want to lose you...I
don't...
803
00:42:50,526 --> 00:42:53,612
FRANK:
You what?
804
00:42:53,696 --> 00:42:55,531
REGINA:
I can't put it into words.
805
00:42:55,614 --> 00:42:56,991
FRANK:
You're an English professor!
806
00:42:57,074 --> 00:43:04,665
Even a slob like me knows how to
say 'I love you'....I do, you
know.
807
00:43:04,748 --> 00:43:07,376
REGINA:
Oh, Frank, I love you, too!
808
00:43:11,130 --> 00:43:13,173
FRANK:
Now, you see?
809
00:43:13,257 --> 00:43:16,885
Isn't the truth better than
playing games?
810
00:43:16,969 --> 00:43:21,015
It works every time...
811
00:43:21,098 --> 00:43:24,143
REGINA:
Even if it hadn't, I always
could have used Plan B.
812
00:43:24,226 --> 00:43:26,061
FRANK:
What was that?
813
00:43:26,145 --> 00:43:29,523
REGINA:
Well, I was gonna hit you over
the head with one of your
wrenches and carry you off.....
814
00:43:38,115 --> 00:43:40,200
CAPTAIN:
Oh, Miss McCoy, have you seen my
father?
815
00:43:40,284 --> 00:43:42,077
He's really been making himself
scarce.
816
00:43:42,161 --> 00:43:44,788
JULIE:
I thought that would suit you,
sir.
817
00:43:44,872 --> 00:43:47,875
CAPTAIN:
I've made a mess of this,
haven't I?
818
00:43:47,958 --> 00:43:49,835
JULIE:
Well, Captain, because of you,
P.J.
819
00:43:49,918 --> 00:43:51,670
won't see your dad.
820
00:43:51,754 --> 00:43:55,382
And the two of them are running
around looking like they don't
care whether they live or die...
821
00:43:55,466 --> 00:43:56,884
It's a darn shame...
822
00:43:56,967 --> 00:43:59,511
They love each other...
823
00:43:59,595 --> 00:44:02,222
They could have had a wonderful
life together, but...
824
00:44:06,769 --> 00:44:09,772
CAPTAIN:
Miss McCoy, please see that my
father's at my table tonight for
dinner.
825
00:44:09,855 --> 00:44:11,440
JULIE:
Sir, that may not be easy...
826
00:44:11,523 --> 00:44:13,192
CAPTAIN:
I don't care if it takes wild
horses...
827
00:44:13,275 --> 00:44:14,860
please make sure he's there...
828
00:44:36,548 --> 00:44:37,549
FLANDERS:
I'm sorry...
829
00:44:37,633 --> 00:44:37,925
CAPTAIN:
No, that's all right.
830
00:44:38,008 --> 00:44:38,634
You have it.
831
00:44:38,717 --> 00:44:40,260
You're making up for lost time.
832
00:44:40,344 --> 00:44:41,929
FLANDERS:
Actually, Captain, it's not for
me.
833
00:44:42,012 --> 00:44:43,889
I'm filling a doggie bag.....
834
00:44:56,193 --> 00:44:58,779
CAPTAIN:
Ladies and gentlemen -- tonight
is a very special...
835
00:44:58,862 --> 00:45:06,620
STUBING, SR.:
P.J.!
836
00:45:06,703 --> 00:45:08,622
Mrs. P.J. Muldoon.
837
00:45:08,705 --> 00:45:10,165
P.J.:
Thank you, Captain.
838
00:45:10,249 --> 00:45:11,834
What's all this lady stuff?
839
00:45:11,917 --> 00:45:13,335
CAPTAIN:
I said, lady.
840
00:45:13,419 --> 00:45:18,257
A lady who has devoted her life
to the sea.
841
00:45:18,340 --> 00:45:22,970
A lady who, in her own selfless
way, on the day of her
retirement,
842
00:45:23,053 --> 00:45:27,766
has consented to take on an even
bigger burden...by agreeing to
become
843
00:45:27,850 --> 00:45:30,018
my stepmother.
844
00:45:30,102 --> 00:45:31,520
P.J.:
Okay with you?
845
00:45:31,603 --> 00:45:33,647
STUBING, SR.:
You know it, baby...
846
00:45:33,730 --> 00:45:37,151
CAPTAIN:
A toast to Captain Merrill
Stubing, Sr.
847
00:45:37,234 --> 00:45:39,319
and his P.J.
848
00:45:39,403 --> 00:45:41,155
Many happy years.
849
00:45:41,238 --> 00:45:44,283
P.J.:
This doesn't mean you're gonna
call me Mom, does it?
850
00:45:44,366 --> 00:45:46,326
CAPTAIN:
I wouldn't do that, Ma...
851
00:45:46,410 --> 00:45:47,494
STUBING, SR.:
Here, here, here, here!
852
00:45:47,578 --> 00:45:49,329
Steady, steady!...
853
00:46:04,094 --> 00:46:06,138
TOBY:
I guess this is goodbye.
854
00:46:06,221 --> 00:46:08,640
DOC:
So the secret word was,
'screwdriver'?
855
00:46:08,724 --> 00:46:12,186
I wonder what would have
happened if I'd asked for a
Harvey Wallbanger...
856
00:46:17,608 --> 00:46:21,570
MORTON:
Beth, Beth, Beth...
857
00:46:21,653 --> 00:46:23,864
BETH:
Oh, Morton, I just love you so
much.
858
00:46:23,947 --> 00:46:28,911
I just can't take my hands off
you...I don't believe this is
happening to me...
859
00:46:28,994 --> 00:46:31,038
MORTON:
Just take the bags, huh?
860
00:46:31,121 --> 00:46:32,498
...And move it...
861
00:46:35,918 --> 00:46:38,754
REGINA:
You'll write?
862
00:46:38,837 --> 00:46:40,756
FRANK:
I'll write you every other day.
863
00:46:40,839 --> 00:46:41,548
REGINA:
No, no, no, no.
864
00:46:41,632 --> 00:46:43,133
You write a poem every other
day.
865
00:46:43,217 --> 00:46:44,593
You write me every day.
866
00:46:44,676 --> 00:46:46,845
FRANK:
Okay...
867
00:46:46,929 --> 00:46:52,059
Oh, by the way, I took another
look at your drain this morning
while you were at breakfast, and
I found your ring...
868
00:46:54,853 --> 00:46:57,606
REGINA: Oh, no, no, no, that's
an engagement ring!
869
00:46:57,689 --> 00:47:00,442
That's not mine...
870
00:47:00,526 --> 00:47:02,444
FRANK:
Well, it is now...
871
00:47:02,528 --> 00:47:06,448
If you'll accept it...
872
00:47:06,532 --> 00:47:09,034
REGINA:
Oh, Frank.....
873
00:47:32,849 --> 00:47:35,227
CAPTAIN:
Here we go...
874
00:47:35,310 --> 00:47:37,104
JULIE:
Goodbye, Captain Stubing, sir.
875
00:47:37,187 --> 00:47:38,897
You've certainly been the hit of
this trip.
876
00:47:38,981 --> 00:47:39,815
STUBING, SR.:
Well, thank you, my dear.
877
00:47:39,898 --> 00:47:40,941
That's sweet of you to say.
878
00:47:41,024 --> 00:47:44,152
Isaac, you mix a mean tomato
juice.
879
00:47:44,236 --> 00:47:46,655
Maybe next trip I can drink it,
not wear it.
880
00:47:46,738 --> 00:47:47,948
Ha, ha, ha...
881
00:47:48,031 --> 00:47:49,116
ISAAC:
All the best to you, sir.
882
00:47:49,199 --> 00:47:50,325
STUBING, SR.:
Thank you -- thank you...
883
00:47:50,409 --> 00:47:53,120
GOPHER:
This ship won't be the same
without you, P.J.
884
00:47:53,203 --> 00:47:58,125
P.J.:
Oh, stow it, Gopher, you want to
make me blubber like a kid?
885
00:47:58,208 --> 00:47:59,251
STUBING, SR.:
She's something, isn't she?
886
00:47:59,334 --> 00:48:00,168
She's something.
887
00:48:00,252 --> 00:48:01,587
Well, goodbye all, and thanks.
888
00:48:01,670 --> 00:48:03,005
P.J.:
Goodbye, everybody.
889
00:48:03,088 --> 00:48:04,965
CAPTAIN:
Now, listen, you two, listen --
don't...you keep in touch now.
890
00:48:05,048 --> 00:48:06,133
Don't be strangers.
891
00:48:06,216 --> 00:48:06,967
STUBING, SR.:
Oh, didn't P.J.
892
00:48:07,050 --> 00:48:08,802
tell you?
893
00:48:08,885 --> 00:48:13,473
We're planning to get ourselves
a little tug together and drop
anchor right here in San Pedro.
894
00:48:13,557 --> 00:48:17,603
And you know if you run into
trouble trying to dock the ship
or what-not, I'll be there to
help you...
895
00:48:17,686 --> 00:48:19,062
Just get on the radio.
896
00:48:19,146 --> 00:48:21,106
CAPTAIN:
Oh...
897
00:48:21,189 --> 00:48:24,651
Well, do you know what frequency
we work on?
898
00:48:24,735 --> 00:48:26,653
STUBING, SR.:
Uh...no...
899
00:48:26,737 --> 00:48:27,654
CAPTAIN:
Fine.
900
00:48:27,738 --> 00:48:28,947
Let's keep it that way...
901
00:48:32,701 --> 00:48:36,997
JULIE:
Oh, Mr. Flanders, I want to
thank you for being so nice and
for putting up with everything.
902
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:39,082
FLANDERS:
Well, actually, it wasn't a bad
vacation.
903
00:48:39,166 --> 00:48:41,293
I got a lot of sleep and I lost
thirteen pounds...
904
00:48:41,376 --> 00:48:42,836
JULIE:
Oh.
905
00:48:42,919 --> 00:48:44,338
GOPHER:
Well, sir, we're gonna give you
a lot better vacation than
that...
906
00:48:44,421 --> 00:48:47,799
That's a free ticket on a cruise
any time you want, compliments
of the line.
907
00:48:47,883 --> 00:48:48,884
FLANDERS:
Thanks.
908
00:48:48,967 --> 00:48:52,095
DOC:
The next time, remember our
rule, no pets...
909
00:48:52,179 --> 00:48:52,971
FLANDERS:
Right...
910
00:48:53,055 --> 00:48:55,724
Come on, Mother.....
69463
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