All language subtitles for The.Love.Boat.S01E06.The.Joker.Is.Mild.First.Time.Out.Take.My.Granddaughter.Please.1080p.PMTP.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track3_[eng]
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1
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"Love
2
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,935
Exciting and new
3
00:00:19,018 --> 00:00:21,604
Come aboard
4
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:26,776
We're expecting you.
5
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,945
Love
6
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,742
life's sweetest reward
7
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,911
Let it flow
8
00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:41,624
it floats back to you
9
00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:45,587
The Love Boat
10
00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:50,675
soon will be making another run
11
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,762
The Love Boat
12
00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:59,350
promises something for everyone
13
00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:01,603
Set a course for adventure
14
00:01:01,686 --> 00:01:05,398
Your mind on a new romance
15
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:13,281
Love won't hurt anymore
16
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:22,665
It's an open smile on afriendly shore
17
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:28,338
Yes, love
18
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:30,423
Welcome aboard, it's love"
19
00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:04,624
DANNY:
Hello!
20
00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:06,543
JULIE:
Danny, Paul, Lee and Carl,
right?
21
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,628
DANNY:
Hey, that's pretty good.
22
00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:09,546
How'd you know?
23
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:10,880
JULIE:
Trick of the trade.
24
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,382
Just don't ask me which one of
you is which.
25
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,217
All right?
26
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:17,053
You're in one-seventeen and
one-nineteen on the Fiesta Deck.
27
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,263
CARL:
Oh, thanks.
28
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:23,059
I...understand that there's a
lot of action on this ship.
29
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,562
JULIE:
Nothing but. All day, all night.
30
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:26,771
It just doesn't quit.
31
00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,273
DANNY:
Well, that's great.
32
00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:29,190
JULIE:
No, I mean it.
33
00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:30,900
We got bingo, shuffleboard,
ping-pong.
34
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:33,570
You name it, we've got it.
35
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:34,612
CARL:
Great plan.
36
00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,197
Comin' on a cruise.
37
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:39,784
JULIE:
Oh, if you were talking about
female companionship, don't
worry.
38
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,494
We've got lots of opportunities.
39
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:47,250
CARL:
Well, that's good, 'cause Danny
here is about as available as
you can get.
40
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,127
DANNY:
You make it sound like I'm only
after one thing.
41
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:50,420
CARL:
Aren't you?
42
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:52,088
DANNY:
No.
43
00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:03,141
GRANDMA:
Believe me, Shirley, this is the
place for you to find a husband.
44
00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:04,934
SHIRLEY:
Grandma...
45
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:08,771
GRANDMA:
I won't say another word.
46
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,649
SHIRLEY:
Come on, Gram, this is your
birthday present.
47
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:15,945
I brought you on this cruise so
that we could have fun, not so
you could find me a husband.
48
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,781
GRANDMA:
I gave my promise and I'm going
to stick to it.
49
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,450
No interference in your life.
50
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:23,953
You're a big girl now, you know
what you're doing.
51
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:27,832
You don't need a meddling old
lady.
52
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,208
SHIRLEY:
Oh, Gram...
53
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:32,045
JULIE:
Well, now you've had the grand
tour.
54
00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:33,796
BARRY:
Ah, the Love Boat.
55
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,298
It's a big waterbed.
56
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:39,469
I heard of sex, but this is
going overboard.
57
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,346
JULIE:
Boy, you haven't changed a bit.
58
00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:43,056
BARRY:
Yeah, but you have.
59
00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:44,599
I can't get over it.
60
00:03:44,682 --> 00:03:45,516
I really can't.
61
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,311
I remember you when you were
this big...
62
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:52,148
And here you are the cruise
director of a big, beautiful
floatel.
63
00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:54,150
I bet your Dad's tickled pink.
64
00:03:54,233 --> 00:03:56,819
JULIE:
He is and he asked me to say
hello to you, Mr.Keith
65
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,529
BARRY:
Barry...Barry.
66
00:03:58,613 --> 00:03:59,656
JULIE:
Oh...
67
00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:01,783
HARDY:
His delivery is so good.
68
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:02,951
BARRY:
Hardy Stevens!
69
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:06,496
One of the biggest agents we
have here in the business.
70
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:07,830
HARDY:
Barry.
71
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:10,750
BARRY:
Now if you came on this boat to
sign me up, forget it...
72
00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:12,001
I'm on vacation.
73
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:15,004
HARDY:
Right, Barry, anything you say.
74
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,589
BARRY:
Don't be such a sore loser.
75
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:22,136
GRANDMA:
Yoo-hoo...sailor person.
76
00:04:25,264 --> 00:04:26,307
GOPHER:
Welcome aboard, ladies.
77
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,475
I'm Yeoman Purser Smith.
78
00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:27,934
How can I help you?
79
00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:28,476
SHIRLEY:
Hello.
80
00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:29,269
I'm Shirley Warner.
81
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:32,021
This is my grandmother
Mrs.Warner
82
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:35,942
GRANDMA:
We'd like to have our meals at a
table for singles.
83
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:41,406
BARRY:
I'll tell you...that hotel was
murder.
84
00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:49,706
The rooms were so small you had
to go out in the hall just to
change your mind.
85
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:50,540
BARRY:
Whoa...wait a minute.
86
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:53,042
Aren't you gonna escort me to my
suite?
87
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:57,714
JULIE:
Well, Barry see, according to
this you're not exactly in a
suite.
88
00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,257
BARRY:
Well, that's okay.
89
00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:02,385
I remember when I started at the
Thunderbird they overbooked the
hotel so much,
90
00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,887
they could only put me up in a
broom closet.
91
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:08,016
I had a choice...sleep or sweep.
92
00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:08,683
So that's it...
93
00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:09,600
I'm gonna be up on the deck.
94
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:10,727
I'll socialize.
95
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:11,728
Mingle with the little people.
96
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:12,729
You know how it is.
97
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,231
JULIE:
I'm sure you'll have a wonderful
time.
98
00:05:15,314 --> 00:05:16,399
Hey, here's the elevator.
99
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:18,109
BARRY:
Hey, I got scared.
100
00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:19,027
I thought this was my room
first.
101
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:21,446
But look at that, a captive
audience.
102
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,239
What do you know about that?
103
00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:25,199
Did you ever hear the story
about the one-armed...
104
00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:29,704
CAPTAIN:
Welcome aboard, ladies.
105
00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:31,080
I'm Captain Stubing.
106
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:31,581
SHIRLEY:
Hello.
107
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:32,623
GRANDMA:
Hello.
108
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:33,750
You're Captain Stubing.
109
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,084
CAPTAIN:
Yes.
110
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:38,755
GRANDMA:
Well, Leonard Keller never
stopped mentioning your name.
111
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,214
CAPTAIN:
Leonard Keller?
112
00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:44,177
GRANDMA:
Yeah, he took this cruise about
four years ago...pale...frail.
113
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:49,432
And when he came home, he had
put on twelve pounds.
114
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:52,101
Said he never felt healthier in
his life.
115
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,978
CAPTAIN:
Well, that's just marvelous...
116
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,731
Well, how is Leonard Keller?
117
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:02,820
GRANDMA: Uh...oh...he died.
118
00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:06,949
CAPTAIN:
Oh, I'm sorry.
119
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:07,784
GRANDMA:
Yeah.
120
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,786
Well, that's life...
121
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:12,246
Come on, Shirley.
122
00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:42,652
ISAAC:
No, it's cool.
123
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:45,113
I got a friend who owes me a
favor.
124
00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:46,364
JULIE:
Thank you.
125
00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:48,491
ISAAC:
Listen, I got another friend who
owes me some caviar.
126
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:50,159
JULIE:
No, that's okay, Isaac.
127
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,703
I just want Barry to feel like
he's still on top.
128
00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:54,664
You know, when he was a star he
gave my Dad
129
00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:55,665
his start in the business.
130
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:56,791
ISAAC:
No kidding?
131
00:06:56,874 --> 00:07:00,169
You know I think I remember
Barry when I was a kid.
132
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,296
Didn't he used to appear on the
Ed Sullivan show?
133
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:04,048
JULIE:
Yeah, he was on all those shows
then.
134
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,342
ISAAC:
And didn't he wear a crazy hat
and carry a cane?
135
00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:07,677
JULIE:
He still does.
136
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,387
ISAAC:
And didn't he tell old jokes?
137
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:10,763
JULIE:
He still does.
138
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:14,725
But he sure deserves more than
the cheapest cabin on the
ship...
139
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:18,271
Thanks again.
140
00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:19,814
ISAAC:
Any time.
141
00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:23,568
BARRY:
Coming.
142
00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:28,197
JULIE:
Special delivery.
143
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:29,699
Compliments of the Captain.
144
00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:30,575
BARRY:
Captain?...
145
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:32,535
How nice.
146
00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:34,829
I guess you're old enough to
have a little bubbly these days.
147
00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:37,373
JULIE:
Yeah...
148
00:07:37,456 --> 00:07:41,502
Oh, Barry, it's been such a long
time since I've seen you.
149
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,880
BARRY:
You remember when you were just
a little bitty thing
150
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,507
and your Dad used to bring you
backstage?
151
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:47,884
JULIE:
I remember.
152
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:53,222
BARRY:
Your father was one of the
nicest persons I ever helped.
153
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:57,101
JULIE:
Well, if you hadn't helped my
father, he might not have gone
into show business.
154
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,687
BARRY:
Speaking of show business...what
do you do here on board?
155
00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,856
I mean, you got any
entertainment here?
156
00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:03,691
JULIE:
Oh, yeah...
157
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:06,235
There's a terrific combo in the
Acapulco Lounge and we've got
some great acts down there...
158
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,571
BARRY: I know what you're
thinking.
159
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:12,074
You're wondering if old Uncle
Barry will do his act.
160
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:16,120
I'll tell you, Julie, I really
came on the cruise to take a
rest.
161
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:18,247
JULIE:
Oh, I wouldn't dream of imposing
on you.
162
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,792
I'm sure the last thing you want
to do while you're on this ship
is to work.
163
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:25,129
BARRY:
Julie, if it'll help you out,
I'll do fifteen minutes.
164
00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:27,256
Not my whole act.
165
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,925
JULIE:
Well, I'd love it.
166
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:32,136
But I really don't think that's
necessary.
167
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:35,556
BARRY:
Fine with me, but do you think I
should disappoint the Captain?
168
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:36,933
JULIE:
Captain?
169
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:40,978
BARRY:
Come on, Julie...Why do you
think he sent the champagne for?
170
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,449
DANNY:
Gonna...take a picture?
171
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:57,203
GIRL:
No, I'm going bowling...Can't
you tell by my shoes?
172
00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,999
DANNY:
That's...that's funny...that's
funny.
173
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:05,419
You know this...photography
thing must be fascinating.
174
00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:07,505
You got so many things to shoot
here...
175
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,466
Hey...
176
00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:13,970
Hey, why don't you take a
picture of...Mister
Man-About-Boat?
177
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:18,349
GIRL:
I don't do still life...And
you're blocking my light.
178
00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:20,476
DANNY:
Where would you like me to move?
179
00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:22,603
GIRL: Cleveland.
180
00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:36,659
DAVE:
Sorry...
181
00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:43,165
Shirley?
182
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:46,002
SHIRLEY: Dave?...
183
00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,420
Dave King.
184
00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:48,963
Oh, what a...
185
00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:50,006
How are you?
186
00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:51,674
I haven't seen you since the
reunion.
187
00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:53,009
DAVE:
Well, what's...what's it
been...five years?
188
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,135
SHIRLEY:
Just about...
189
00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:56,012
I hear you got married.
190
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:58,347
DAVE:
Also...we're divorced.
191
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:00,349
SHIRLEY:
Oh.
192
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,310
DAVE:
Say, how 'bout you, are
you...still single?
193
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:05,187
SHIRLEY:
Yeah, still single.
194
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,189
DAVE:
That's great.
195
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:11,902
SHIRLEY:
Not according to my
grandmother...Oh!
196
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:15,031
Gram...Gram, come here, I want
you to meet somebody.
197
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,365
GRAM:
Oh...
198
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,326
SHIRLEY:
You remember my grandmother.
199
00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:19,994
DAVE:
What a wonderful character.
200
00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:22,038
SHIRLEY:
She hasn't mellowed with age...
201
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,832
Gram, you remember Dave King.
202
00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:26,375
I went with him in my senior
year.
203
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,668
DAVE:
Hello, Mrs.Warner
204
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,880
GRAM:
Uh...Dave King, Dave King...
205
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,715
Shirley always has so many
fellas...
206
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:37,386
I have to figure a way to
remember them all...
207
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,347
Oh...yeah...oh, now I remember,
208
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,600
you were...O.D.D.
209
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:45,853
Old...Desoto...
Dandruff.
210
00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:48,898
DAVE:
Well, actually, I got rid of
them both.
211
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:51,859
Think she's got me pretty well
pegged alright.
212
00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:56,447
GRAM:
Well...listen, David...since you
graduated,
213
00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:57,740
what've you been doin' with
yourself?
214
00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:59,784
DAVE: Well, I'm a teacher.
215
00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:01,952
GRAM:
How wonderful.
216
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:03,662
Did you hear that Shirley?
217
00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:04,372
A teacher.
218
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,582
What college do you teach at?
219
00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:08,084
DAVE:
Oh, no, no.
220
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,377
I...I don't teach college.
221
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:12,713
I...I teach sixth grade
arithmetic.
222
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:16,592
GRAM:
Oh...excuse me...I have to talk
to her in private...
223
00:11:16,675 --> 00:11:19,220
It's very important.
224
00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:22,640
SHIRLEY:
Excuse me Dave, I'll be right
back.
225
00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:25,267
SHIRLEY:
Gram, are you gonna start again?
226
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:28,562
GRAM:
I am not interfering with you,
I'm talking to you as a friend.
227
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,439
He's not right for you.
228
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,108
SHIRLEY:
What is this right for me?
229
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:33,317
He's a person I know.
230
00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:34,819
I'm talking to him.
231
00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:37,947
GRAM:
Do you know what a school
teacher makes?
232
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,616
On his pay he is probably a
stowaway.
233
00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:43,786
SHIRLEY:
Oh, Gram, honestly.
234
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:47,832
GRAM:
Far be it for me to tell you
what to do.
235
00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:50,876
But...but this is a place for
you to find a nice boy.
236
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:57,466
Promise me that you won't spend
all your time with Mr.
237
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,093
Wrong?
238
00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:01,345
SHIRLEY:
I promise.
239
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,764
GRAM:
And that you will go and mix and
mingle.
240
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:04,140
SHIRLEY:
I'll mix.
241
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:05,141
I'll mingle.
242
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:10,646
GRAM:
Maybe show a little more
cleavage.
243
00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:25,286
PAUL:
You're a man, right?
244
00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:26,620
You're nineteen years old.
245
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:29,123
DANNY:
And a half...nineteen and a
half.
246
00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:32,168
PAUL:
You're a freshman in college,
one of the finest pledges in our
fraternity.
247
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:34,295
You just got this one little
problem.
248
00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:38,090
You're still...oh...what's the
word I'm looking for?
249
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:41,343
CARL:
Virgin.
250
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:45,181
PAUL:
That's the word...So what are
you sitting around doing nothing
for?
251
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:47,308
There is a boat loaded with
women.
252
00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:49,852
You're the one who said by the
time I get to Acapulco.
253
00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:50,686
DANNY:
Yes, sir.
254
00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:51,395
CARL:
Come on.
255
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,938
Lay off of him.
256
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,607
Will you two leave.
257
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:59,862
PAUL:
You know there are worse things
in the world than being...in
your state.
258
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:01,405
CARL:
Yeah, you can have a couple of
broken legs.
259
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,240
DANNY:
My brother has the same problem.
260
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,074
PAUL:
Your brother?
261
00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:05,117
The attorney?
262
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,870
DANNY:
No, my brother the little league
pitcher.
263
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:11,165
But as soon as he hits puberty,
watch out.
264
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:24,845
BARRY:
Ha...ha...now we're comin' to
the punch...
265
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,889
Waiter, hey...hey, come here,
come here...
266
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:30,392
Bring me a pint of oysters and
hold the pearls.
267
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:32,937
Now that's the first
joke...wanna hear a second one?
268
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:38,901
DOC:
He could wipe the smile off the
Mona Lisa.
269
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:39,902
JULIE:
I don't know what to do.
270
00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:43,572
He's angling for me to put him
in the show.
271
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,283
DOC:
Just tell him we have a new
entertainment policy.
272
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,077
We only use entertainers.
273
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,912
JULIE:
Thanks.
274
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,414
BARRY:
Say, Captain, would you pass me
the butter please?
275
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:54,750
I would appreciate it very
much...
276
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:58,504
If I could only get the waiter
over here I'd appreciate this
even a lot more...
277
00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:04,843
That's the way it is with
folks...they take advantage and
all that stuff.
278
00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:14,937
Hey, here you go.
279
00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:32,997
DANNY:
Hello...
280
00:14:35,874 --> 00:14:38,294
I couldn't help but notice you
here.
281
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:42,298
You certainly are attractive...I
was wondering if you'd like
to...
282
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,466
[LOUD HORN]
283
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:45,718
GIRL: What?
284
00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:49,138
[LOUD HORN]
285
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,764
DANNY:
[YELLING]
Come down to my cabin tonight.
286
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,275
It's been nice talkin' to you.
287
00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:02,192
GIRL:
Aha...
288
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,451
PAUL:
How many days does he have left?
289
00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:13,871
CARL:
I don't know, but he's gonna
need every one of them.
290
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:18,667
BARRY:
Oh boy...
291
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,836
so then the guy says...
292
00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:26,133
Listen, how do I know that you
know whether there are six
hundred and fifty-two cows in
the herd, exactly?
293
00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:27,384
How?
294
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:31,597
He said, that's easy, you count
the legs and divide by four...
295
00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:36,602
Isn't that wild?
296
00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:37,686
Hah?
297
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:38,812
Isn't that beautiful?
298
00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:42,816
I mean...I mean...well...
299
00:15:49,406 --> 00:15:53,118
Oh, excuse me...I don't fool
around with young people...
300
00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:57,873
Hey, Julie, how are you?
301
00:15:57,956 --> 00:16:00,376
Now when am I on the bill?
302
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:02,878
I mean...I'm a headline you
know, I don't go on first.
303
00:16:02,961 --> 00:16:06,715
JULIE:
Well, uh, Barry, I haven't
actually had time to reschedule
the show yet.
304
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:07,549
I uh...
305
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,592
BARRY:
Ah, details.
306
00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:09,760
I'll leave that to you.
307
00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:11,720
Listen, I gotta go rehearse.
308
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,764
I'll see you later, huh kiddo.
309
00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:19,395
You don't have to thank me...I'd
do anything for you...
310
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,063
What do you say, Captain?
311
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:22,731
Hey, who's watchin' the store?
312
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:23,899
CAPTAIN:
Yeah...
313
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,571
He was bothering you too, hm?
314
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:30,406
JULIE:
Who?
315
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:32,366
Mr.Keith
316
00:16:32,449 --> 00:16:33,242
bothering me?
317
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:36,245
Why he's the funniest man in the
world.
318
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:39,623
CAPTAIN:
Miss McCoy, there is funny ha
ha, there is funny peculiar...
319
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:45,879
Woody Allen is funny ha
ha...buttering one's hand is
funny peculiar.
320
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:50,926
JULIE:
You're right, sir...but he's
expecting me to put him in the
show.
321
00:16:51,009 --> 00:16:53,595
CAPTAIN:
Well, you're the officer in
charge of entertainment.
322
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:54,638
Tell him no.
323
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,223
JULIE:
But he's an old friend of my
father's.
324
00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:57,266
I feel obligated.
325
00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,559
CAPTAIN:
Then put him in.
326
00:16:58,642 --> 00:16:59,935
JULIE:
But he's not funny.
327
00:17:00,018 --> 00:17:01,061
CAPTAIN:
Then don't put him in.
328
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:03,272
JULIE:
But I like him and it means so
much to him.
329
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:04,565
CAPTAIN:
Then put him in.
330
00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:06,567
JULIE:
But I have a responsibility to
the other passengers...
331
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:08,318
CAPTAIN:
Then don't put him in!
332
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:13,532
Miss McCoy, when one is in a
position of authority, one has
to make difficult decisions.
333
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:18,328
Decisions that affect people's
lives, but you have to do
it...you have to be rough.
334
00:17:20,038 --> 00:17:21,331
JULIE:
Thank you, sir.
335
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:26,420
I'm going to be honest and tell
him he stinks and he's not going
on.
336
00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,130
CAPTAIN:
That's rough.
337
00:17:34,928 --> 00:17:35,721
DANNY:
Hi there.
338
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:38,640
BARBARA:
Hi.
339
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:43,270
DANNY:
Do you live around here?...
340
00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:51,320
Nice talking to you.
341
00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:55,616
DOC:
Just take one of these before
bedtime, it'll help you to
sleep.
342
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,619
GRAM:
I hope so.
343
00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:01,663
Things go whirling around in my
head all night.
344
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,791
DOC:
Well, what kind of things?
345
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,334
GRAM:
Family things.
346
00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:08,295
There's so much left unfinished.
347
00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:10,339
And I'm not getting any younger.
348
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:13,217
DOC:
Well, you're just as young as
you feel, Mrs.Warner
349
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:14,551
And you feel pretty young to
me...
350
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:16,512
A little medical joke.
351
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:18,013
GRAM:
Doctor, your hand.
352
00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:18,847
DOC:
Yeah.
353
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,849
I've got one on the other arm,
too.
354
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,936
GRAM:
There's no wedding ring.
355
00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:25,187
DOC:
Right.
356
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,523
Mrs.Warner, is this a proposal?
357
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:29,191
GRAM:
Ha...ha...
358
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:30,526
DOC:
How 'bout your insomnia?
359
00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:32,069
GRAM:
What insomnia?
360
00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:34,696
Soon I'll be sleeping like a
baby.
361
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:37,241
DOC:
What about that, I'm a faith
healer.
362
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:43,539
GRAM:
How would you like to meet a
young, gorgeous sexy person?
363
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:46,917
DOC:
I've already met one today.
364
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,212
GRAM:
It's my granddaughter, Shirley.
365
00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:54,716
She's got a brand new car, she's
got a stereo tape-deck...
366
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,260
DOC:
Mrs. Warner
367
00:18:56,343 --> 00:19:00,514
I've been accused of many things
but being a fortune hunter isn't
one of them.
368
00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:02,516
What kind of car?
369
00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:03,392
Believe me, Mrs.Warner
370
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,727
I'd love to meet her, but
really...
371
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:08,939
GRAM:
Shall we say in the Acapulco
Lounge seven o'clock?
372
00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:09,815
DOC:
Oh, seven.
373
00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:11,066
I've got an awful lot of things
to do.
374
00:19:11,149 --> 00:19:11,942
GRAM:
Wonderful.
375
00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:14,695
I'll see you then.
376
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:20,450
DOC:
Another fine mess you've got me
into.
377
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:22,411
BARRY:
How's that?
378
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:23,412
That all right?
379
00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:24,371
Yeah, sounds all right.
380
00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:25,080
Bring it up a little bit.
381
00:19:25,163 --> 00:19:26,206
Yeah.
382
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:30,627
Let's do it that
way...Testing...one, two,
three...
383
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:32,921
Yeah, that sounds alright.
384
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,006
Hold it right there.
385
00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:38,886
Hey, Ronnie...give me the
spotlight...That's good.
386
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:41,722
You know it'd be a good idea if
you all would sit on my head and
do the Parady, right?
387
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,767
Good...Julie, how are you?
388
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:47,477
Just straightening out the
spotlight.
389
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,398
JULIE:
Can I talk to you a minute,
Barry?
390
00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:52,107
BARRY:
Yeah...sure.
391
00:19:52,190 --> 00:20:01,283
Ronnie, take five.
392
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:01,617
BARRY:
Yeah.
393
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,452
Go ahead.
394
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:07,414
JULIE:
Well, I don't know how to tell
you this, but I...
395
00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:08,582
What's wrong?
396
00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:10,626
What is it?
397
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,252
Let me get the doctor for you.
398
00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:13,253
BARRY:
No, no, no, no, no...I'll be
alright.
399
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,963
Let me...let me catch my breath.
400
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,173
I'll be...I'll be okay.
401
00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:17,299
I...really.
402
00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:17,925
JULIE:
What is it, Barry?
403
00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:18,800
Your heart?
404
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:21,303
BARRY: Oh, no, no, no...I'll be
alright.
405
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:22,429
Just give me a second.
406
00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:23,931
JULIE:
Are you sure?
407
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,141
BARRY:
You know what I really need?
408
00:20:26,224 --> 00:20:29,311
The sound of applause.
409
00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:32,648
I'll bet you after the show
tonight, I'll feel real good.
410
00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:36,818
Wild horses couldn't stop me
from performing...
411
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,821
The show must go on, Julie...
412
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:42,491
right?
413
00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:44,159
JULIE:
Right.
414
00:20:44,242 --> 00:20:48,330
The show will go on
415
00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:50,666
and you will too.
416
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:57,214
DOC:
Okay, let's try some jumping
jacks......
417
00:20:57,297 --> 00:21:00,801
As my old army sergeant used to
say
418
00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:01,677
I'll tell you guys later what he
used to say
419
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:05,180
Here we go.
420
00:21:05,263 --> 00:21:07,224
DANNY:
Hello, my name is Danny.
421
00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:10,644
Would you like to come for a
drink with me later?
422
00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:12,729
GIRL: See that man lifting
weights?
423
00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:15,899
That is my husband.
424
00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:18,694
DANNY: Well...nice talkin' to
you.
425
00:21:27,327 --> 00:21:29,371
BARBARA:
Hi.
426
00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:31,206
DANNY:
Hi.
427
00:21:31,289 --> 00:21:32,874
BARBARA:
You look kinda beat.
428
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:35,419
DANNY: I am.
429
00:21:35,502 --> 00:21:38,380
BARBARA:
Ah...in case you're wondering,
my name is Barbara Holmes.
430
00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:39,381
DANNY: I'm sorry.
431
00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:40,507
I'm Danny.
432
00:21:40,590 --> 00:21:41,800
BARBARA:
Yeah, I know.
433
00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:50,600
Are you meditating or are you
just bored?
434
00:21:50,684 --> 00:21:53,061
DANNY:
I've got a lot on my mind.
435
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:54,062
BARBARA:
Like with school?
436
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:56,690
DANNY:
No, school's always been a piece
of cake.
437
00:21:56,773 --> 00:21:58,233
BARBARA:
I wish I could say that.
438
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:01,528
I'm majoring in communications
and it's killing me.
439
00:22:01,611 --> 00:22:03,030
DANNY:
Communications.
440
00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:03,905
BARBARA:
Yeah.
441
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:05,407
DANNY:
Yeah, me too.
442
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:08,452
BARBARA:
Well then, we should be able to
communicate.
443
00:22:08,535 --> 00:22:10,746
DANNY:
I guess so...I'd better get
going.
444
00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:13,331
BARBARA:
How about a toast?
445
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:14,791
DANNY:
Sure, why not?
446
00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:18,420
BARBARA: To...
447
00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:20,380
To success.
448
00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:22,507
DANNY:
To success...
449
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,973
It's been very nice talking to
you.
450
00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:43,153
ISAAC:
You really dig him, don't you?
451
00:22:43,236 --> 00:22:44,196
BARBARA:
Yeah.
452
00:22:44,279 --> 00:22:48,283
ISAAC:
It's none of my business,
but...why?
453
00:22:48,366 --> 00:22:50,285
I mean he's only after one
thing.
454
00:22:50,368 --> 00:22:53,872
BARBARA:
No, it means there's a lot more
to him than that.
455
00:22:53,955 --> 00:22:56,958
He's bright, he's sweet, he's
really a nice guy.
456
00:22:57,042 --> 00:23:00,837
ISAAC:
Are they selling rose-colored
glasses in the gift shop?
457
00:23:00,921 --> 00:23:02,380
BARBARA:
Now come on, he's under a lot of
pressure from his friends.
458
00:23:02,464 --> 00:23:03,757
You know?
459
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,219
And if he could just get past
this one thing he could be
himself.
460
00:23:07,302 --> 00:23:09,304
ISAAC:
You know, you're pretty sharp
for such a young girl.
461
00:23:09,387 --> 00:23:11,515
BARBARA:
It's not gonna do me any good.
462
00:23:11,598 --> 00:23:14,351
He doesn't even know I exist.
463
00:23:14,434 --> 00:23:16,394
ISAAC:
Well, nice talkin' to you.
464
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,361
BARBARA:
It's what they all say.
465
00:23:24,444 --> 00:23:25,654
SHIRLEY:
Seven o'clock!
466
00:23:25,737 --> 00:23:27,447
I can't make it.
467
00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:33,870
GRAM:
Believe me, Shirley, he's
handsome...John Hopkins single,
and you can't make it?
468
00:23:33,954 --> 00:23:36,498
Where are you when I need you?
469
00:23:36,581 --> 00:23:39,167
SHIRLEY:
Gram, Dave King invited me for a
drink at seven.
470
00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:40,877
And Gram, he's very nice.
471
00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:43,421
GRAM:
Can nice buy you a condominium?
472
00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:45,549
I'm talking doctor.
473
00:23:45,632 --> 00:23:46,758
SHIRLEY:
I'm sorry, I've made my plans.
474
00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:50,137
What are you doing?
475
00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:51,638
What...what are you doing?!
476
00:23:51,721 --> 00:23:53,306
GRAM:
I'm throwing myself overboard.
477
00:23:53,390 --> 00:23:57,727
What is the point of living when
my granddaughter
478
00:23:57,811 --> 00:24:00,647
gives up a doctor for a nobody.
479
00:24:00,730 --> 00:24:02,983
SHIRLEY:
Where are you when I need you?
480
00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:08,405
ISAAC:
Really?
481
00:24:08,488 --> 00:24:10,198
I mean you're gonna let Barry
Keith do the show tomorrow?
482
00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:11,700
JULIE:
Yes, I am.
483
00:24:11,783 --> 00:24:14,411
ISAAC:
Well, I mean it might work.
484
00:24:15,662 --> 00:24:18,874
Disaster movies are in.
485
00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:21,960
JULIE:
Isaac, just between you and me,
he's a very sick man.
486
00:24:24,212 --> 00:24:27,382
This could be his last chance to
be in the spotlight.
487
00:24:27,465 --> 00:24:30,051
You understand?
488
00:24:30,135 --> 00:24:32,596
ISAAC:
Julie, you're alright.
489
00:24:32,679 --> 00:24:34,347
JULIE:
Oh, let me take it in.
490
00:24:34,431 --> 00:24:35,056
ISAAC:
Okay.
491
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:37,767
JULIE:
Thanks.
492
00:24:37,851 --> 00:24:41,855
ISAAC:
Julie...maybe if I'm extra
generous with the drinks...
493
00:24:41,938 --> 00:24:44,316
the audience will be too bombed
to walk out.
494
00:24:50,655 --> 00:24:51,573
BARRY:
Come in.
495
00:25:01,791 --> 00:25:04,628
JULIE:
Is that what you call resting?
496
00:25:04,711 --> 00:25:06,129
BARRY:
Uh...let me explain.
497
00:25:06,213 --> 00:25:08,381
JULIE:
That was a phony heart attack,
wasn't it?
498
00:25:08,465 --> 00:25:09,925
BARRY:
I always thought I coulda made
it as a straight actor...
499
00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:12,928
Julie...
500
00:25:15,889 --> 00:25:18,600
Okay, I'm a phony...
501
00:25:18,683 --> 00:25:21,102
But a desperate one...
502
00:25:21,186 --> 00:25:23,730
Why do you think I came on this
cruise for?
503
00:25:23,813 --> 00:25:27,400
Because I knew that Freddie
Stevens, the agent, was gonna be
on it...
504
00:25:27,484 --> 00:25:31,112
Back in Hollywood they won't
even let me in the office to
audition.
505
00:25:31,196 --> 00:25:33,823
Ain't that a laugh?
506
00:25:33,907 --> 00:25:36,493
I was a star when he was
pressing pants.
507
00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:41,790
JULIE:
So you used me?
508
00:25:41,873 --> 00:25:43,583
BARRY:
Guilty.
509
00:25:43,667 --> 00:25:46,878
But I helped your father...you
owe me one.
510
00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:51,174
JULIE:
Right.
511
00:25:51,258 --> 00:25:53,301
But after you do the show
tonight, the slate's clean.
512
00:26:13,571 --> 00:26:17,826
DOC:
Is there no end to a doctor's
self-sacrifice?
513
00:26:17,909 --> 00:26:19,160
ISAAC:
Give her a chance, Doc.
514
00:26:19,244 --> 00:26:21,496
I mean, how bad can she be?
515
00:26:21,579 --> 00:26:22,539
Is that her?
516
00:26:22,622 --> 00:26:24,708
DOC:
Oh, the moment of truth.
517
00:26:24,791 --> 00:26:26,835
GRAM:
Ah, there you are, doctor.
518
00:26:26,918 --> 00:26:29,212
DOC:
Ah, there you are, Mrs. Warner
519
00:26:29,296 --> 00:26:31,381
GRAM:
Come and meet my beautiful
Shirley...
520
00:26:31,464 --> 00:26:37,846
with the warm disposition, who
can cook and sew like a bandit.
521
00:26:40,390 --> 00:26:42,684
ISAAC:
A sewing bandit?
522
00:26:42,767 --> 00:26:43,727
DOC:
Ooh, Mrs. Warner
523
00:26:43,810 --> 00:26:44,811
I forgot.
524
00:26:44,894 --> 00:26:47,355
I...I've got to perform an
emergency appendectomy.
525
00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:49,024
GRAM:
Ridiculous
526
00:26:49,107 --> 00:26:51,901
DOC:
No, on myself.
527
00:26:51,985 --> 00:26:53,403
GRAM:
You're just nervous.
528
00:26:53,486 --> 00:26:55,071
Shirley will make you relax.
529
00:26:55,155 --> 00:26:56,364
DOC:
But I'm not dressed.
530
00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:58,700
GRAM:
My dear fellow...
531
00:26:58,783 --> 00:27:01,369
SHIRLEY: Just to keep my
grandmother happy I've invited
him over for a drink.
532
00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:02,078
Okay?
533
00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:03,204
DAVE: Okay, but just one drink.
534
00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:09,377
I am not sharing you for more
than...fifteen minutes.
535
00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:14,507
GRAM:
Dr. Bricker, may I present my
granddaughter Shirley Warner.
536
00:27:14,591 --> 00:27:17,218
SHIRLEY:
How do you do, doctor?
537
00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:21,014
DOC:
Hello, Shirley.
538
00:27:21,097 --> 00:27:23,558
SHIRLEY:
I'd like you to meet my friend
Dave King.
539
00:27:23,641 --> 00:27:24,768
DOC:
Dave, nice to see you.
540
00:27:24,851 --> 00:27:27,062
How are you...nice...good to
know you.
541
00:27:27,145 --> 00:27:31,191
GRAM:
Well Now...I'll leave you two
alone in peace.
542
00:27:31,274 --> 00:27:34,361
They're playing our song.
543
00:27:36,863 --> 00:27:39,657
DOC:
Shirley, Shirley, Shirley, where
have you been all my life?
544
00:27:55,423 --> 00:28:00,845
DANNY:
Okay...Prentice, Sandy
Prentice...is she the one with
the great left jab?
545
00:28:02,263 --> 00:28:02,889
JULIE:
Hi.
546
00:28:02,972 --> 00:28:03,598
How come you didn't go ashore?
547
00:28:03,681 --> 00:28:05,141
DANNY:
Ah, no time, no time.
548
00:28:05,225 --> 00:28:06,810
Harriet Langdon.
549
00:28:06,893 --> 00:28:08,478
JULIE:
She's seventy-two years old.
550
00:28:08,561 --> 00:28:11,272
DANNY:
Ah, she single?
551
00:28:11,356 --> 00:28:13,608
Well, we can scratch Harriet
Langdon.
552
00:28:13,691 --> 00:28:19,781
Jones, Carmel Lewis...ah, forget
her, she's the one I spilled
spaghetti on.
553
00:28:19,864 --> 00:28:20,615
JULIE:
Danny...
554
00:28:20,698 --> 00:28:21,741
DANNY:
Bertoli Amato.
555
00:28:21,825 --> 00:28:23,243
JULIE:
She's a guy.
556
00:28:23,326 --> 00:28:25,286
Danny, could I talk to you for a
minute, please?
557
00:28:25,370 --> 00:28:26,663
DANNY:
Sure...sure...sure.
558
00:28:26,746 --> 00:28:27,330
JULIE:
I mean as a friend.
559
00:28:27,414 --> 00:28:33,253
DANNY:
Yeah.
560
00:28:33,336 --> 00:28:34,129
DANNY:
Fun?
561
00:28:34,212 --> 00:28:36,756
Sure I had fun.
562
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,634
Maybe not exactly fun.
563
00:28:39,717 --> 00:28:40,844
Look, I didn't come here to have
fun.
564
00:28:40,927 --> 00:28:44,305
I came here to find a woman...
565
00:28:44,389 --> 00:28:46,808
Ah, that didn't come out right,
but you know what I mean.
566
00:28:46,891 --> 00:28:48,560
JULIE:
No, I don't know what you mean.
567
00:28:48,643 --> 00:28:50,145
And I don't think you know what
you mean.
568
00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:53,940
I mean you've got this point to
prove and I think it's making
you miserable.
569
00:28:54,023 --> 00:28:56,276
This is all so unnecessary.
570
00:28:56,359 --> 00:28:57,110
DANNY:
Ah, to you, maybe.
571
00:28:57,193 --> 00:28:58,820
But I'm all this ship talks
about.
572
00:28:58,903 --> 00:29:04,993
I mean this guy came up to me
and he said...is it...is it true
what they say about you?
573
00:29:05,076 --> 00:29:09,497
I said, yes, and he asked me for
my autograph.
574
00:29:09,581 --> 00:29:13,626
JULIE:
I think you're exaggerating.
575
00:29:13,710 --> 00:29:19,340
Danny, I'm a woman and I can
tell you that sex is only a
small part of what makes a good
relationship.
576
00:29:19,424 --> 00:29:21,843
I mean, there is much, much
more.
577
00:29:21,926 --> 00:29:25,054
DANNY:
Okay, maybe I'm crazy, but if I
don't...
578
00:29:27,307 --> 00:29:32,353
I'm never gonna hear the end of
it...Hey, maybe I should become
a monk...
579
00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:34,856
I've already got the celibacy
part mastered.
580
00:29:34,939 --> 00:29:37,150
JULIE:
I think you're trying too hard.
581
00:29:37,233 --> 00:29:38,026
DANNY:
Yeah?
582
00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:41,196
It's probably like studying for
finals.
583
00:29:41,279 --> 00:29:45,158
Everything comes to you on the
last night.
584
00:29:45,241 --> 00:29:47,994
JULIE:
Couldn't you try to think of
something besides sex?
585
00:29:52,790 --> 00:29:54,501
DOC:
Well, I have to admit it, Mrs.
Warner
586
00:29:54,584 --> 00:29:56,711
everything you said about
Shirley is true.
587
00:29:56,794 --> 00:29:59,380
GRAM:
Would I lie to a professional
man?
588
00:29:59,464 --> 00:30:04,344
There they are...Shirley and
her...her acquaintance.
589
00:30:04,427 --> 00:30:05,386
DOC:
Hi, Shirley...
590
00:30:05,470 --> 00:30:07,096
Hi, acquaintance.
591
00:30:07,180 --> 00:30:08,973
P.A. VOICE:
David King to the Purser's desk.
592
00:30:09,057 --> 00:30:11,476
David King, please.
593
00:30:11,559 --> 00:30:15,855
DAVE:
Ah, excuse me, I'd better go see
what they want.
594
00:30:15,939 --> 00:30:17,524
DOC:
Thought he'd never leave.
595
00:30:17,607 --> 00:30:18,566
Now let's see...
596
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:20,068
your move or mine.
597
00:30:20,151 --> 00:30:22,028
SHIRLEY:
I don't believe this.
598
00:30:22,111 --> 00:30:23,905
Gram, did you deliberately have
David paged?
599
00:30:23,988 --> 00:30:24,781
DOC:
No.
600
00:30:24,864 --> 00:30:27,158
I did.
601
00:30:45,176 --> 00:30:48,471
CARL:
You are missing the party.
602
00:30:48,555 --> 00:30:50,139
DANNY:
Are all the women weeping?
603
00:30:50,223 --> 00:30:50,974
CARL:
Come on.
604
00:30:51,057 --> 00:30:52,600
Tonight might be your lucky
night.
605
00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:53,935
DANNY:
Yeah.
606
00:30:54,018 --> 00:30:56,396
I might fall overboard.
607
00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:04,070
BARBARA:
Hello, Danny.
608
00:31:04,153 --> 00:31:09,617
DANNY:
Barbara...have you come to gawk
at the eternal virgin in his
natural habitat?
609
00:31:09,701 --> 00:31:12,245
BARBARA:
Hey, I'm here because...
610
00:31:12,328 --> 00:31:13,913
well, I was hoping that before
the trip was over
611
00:31:13,997 --> 00:31:15,832
that we might get the chance to
know each other.
612
00:31:15,915 --> 00:31:17,875
DANNY:
You mean that?
613
00:31:17,959 --> 00:31:19,460
BARBARA:
I'm here, aren't I?
614
00:31:22,422 --> 00:31:25,967
DANNY:
Yeah, you are.
615
00:31:26,050 --> 00:31:28,636
BARBARA:
Do you want to take a walk
around the ship?
616
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:31,889
DANNY:
Sure...sure, why not?
617
00:31:31,973 --> 00:31:34,642
BARBARA:
Or, I guess, we could always go
down to your cabin.
618
00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:39,314
DANNY:
My cabin?...
619
00:31:39,397 --> 00:31:41,524
Sure, my cabin.
620
00:31:41,608 --> 00:31:44,068
BARBARA:
Uh, it's this way, isn't it?
621
00:31:44,152 --> 00:31:48,031
DANNY:
Uh...right...but...it's left.
622
00:31:49,198 --> 00:31:49,824
That's right.
623
00:31:49,907 --> 00:31:53,494
I mean...that...that's correct.
624
00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:54,329
BARBARA:
Right.
625
00:31:54,412 --> 00:31:56,748
DANNY:
That's correct.
626
00:32:12,096 --> 00:32:14,265
DANNY:
Why don't you sit over there?
627
00:32:20,146 --> 00:32:21,773
BARBARA:
Why don't you sit next to me?
628
00:32:23,608 --> 00:32:24,984
DANNY:
Good...
629
00:32:32,950 --> 00:32:34,369
here we are.
630
00:32:34,452 --> 00:32:36,704
BARBARA:
Yeah.
631
00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:42,585
DANNY:
Uhh...would you like a little
champagne or...
632
00:32:42,669 --> 00:32:44,253
BARBARA:
No, I don't drink.
633
00:32:44,337 --> 00:32:49,258
DANNY:
Neither do I...ah...Good music,
huh?
634
00:32:51,469 --> 00:32:56,224
Something soft and lyrical and
lovely as you are?
635
00:32:57,475 --> 00:32:59,727
I got a cassette of the Led
Zeppelin over here.
636
00:33:01,479 --> 00:33:02,230
BARBARA:
Danny?
637
00:33:02,313 --> 00:33:04,607
DANNY:
Uh...poetry...hah?
638
00:33:04,691 --> 00:33:07,568
I know this little piece by John
Dunne.
639
00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:11,572
I wandered lonely as a cloud
that floats on high or hill and
dale...
640
00:33:13,825 --> 00:33:16,869
when all at once I saw a
crowd...
641
00:33:16,953 --> 00:33:20,581
a host of lovely daffodils.
642
00:33:20,665 --> 00:33:23,292
BARBARA:
Danny, that's Wordsworth.
643
00:33:23,376 --> 00:33:23,918
DANNY:
Yeah.
644
00:33:24,001 --> 00:33:25,753
BARBARA:
And, Danny...
645
00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:28,381
DANNY:
Yeah.
646
00:33:28,464 --> 00:33:30,967
BARBARA:
Knock it off
647
00:33:40,351 --> 00:33:42,895
BARBARA:
What's wrong?
648
00:33:42,979 --> 00:33:45,690
DANNY:
What are you doing here?
649
00:33:45,773 --> 00:33:47,567
BARBARA:
What?
650
00:33:47,650 --> 00:33:52,447
DANNY:
I...can't figure out what you're
doing here.
651
00:33:52,530 --> 00:33:54,282
BARBARA:
I'm here because I like you.
652
00:33:54,365 --> 00:33:56,617
DANNY:
Why?
653
00:33:56,701 --> 00:33:57,744
BARBARA:
Do you want a list?
654
00:33:57,827 --> 00:33:59,287
DANNY:
Yeah.
655
00:34:09,213 --> 00:34:11,632
BARBARA:
I think you're a nice guy.
656
00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:16,012
And...and I thought well, maybe
the two of us could get along,
you know?
657
00:34:16,095 --> 00:34:20,641
Maybe you could like me and...
658
00:34:20,725 --> 00:34:22,101
well, I know I'm not beautiful,
but...
659
00:34:22,185 --> 00:34:23,060
DANNY: Oh, come on, knock it
off.
660
00:34:23,144 --> 00:34:24,979
You're...you're beautiful.
661
00:34:25,062 --> 00:34:25,813
BARBARA:
No, I'm not.
662
00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:26,981
DANNY:
Ah, yes you are.
663
00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:28,107
BARBARA:
No.
664
00:34:28,191 --> 00:34:30,651
DANNY:
Hey...yes...yes you are.
665
00:34:30,735 --> 00:34:32,987
You're beautiful.
666
00:34:33,070 --> 00:34:33,780
You are.
667
00:34:33,863 --> 00:34:35,782
You're beautiful.
668
00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:44,582
BARBARA:
Now that's what I call
communicating.
669
00:35:09,106 --> 00:35:11,025
JULIE:
Ladies and gentlemen, we're
priviledged to have with us
670
00:35:11,108 --> 00:35:13,110
tonight for a special
performance one of America's
671
00:35:15,112 --> 00:35:19,408
Let's have a big welcome for
Barry Keith.
672
00:35:26,290 --> 00:35:28,042
BARRY:
Thank you...
673
00:35:28,125 --> 00:35:30,419
I'd like to get one thing
straight.
674
00:35:30,503 --> 00:35:33,047
First of all I want you to know
I'm sixty-seven years old...
675
00:35:33,130 --> 00:35:36,008
I'm a lot different than other
comics the same age, you know.
676
00:35:36,092 --> 00:35:39,595
'Cause I'm really eighty-four...
677
00:35:39,679 --> 00:35:40,805
Eighty- five...
678
00:35:42,265 --> 00:35:43,057
It's on?
679
00:35:43,140 --> 00:35:44,141
The mike...it's on?
680
00:35:44,225 --> 00:35:46,060
Can you hear me?
681
00:35:48,521 --> 00:35:52,984
Uh...speaking about inflation
because...
682
00:35:53,067 --> 00:35:56,237
remember the old days when...
683
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:57,905
you wouldn't give two cents for
a guy...remember them?
684
00:35:57,989 --> 00:35:59,031
Huh?
685
00:35:59,115 --> 00:36:01,367
Well, today it's three for a
dollar.
686
00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:06,539
Isn't that wild?
687
00:36:06,622 --> 00:36:09,208
I know you're out there, I hear
breathing...
688
00:36:09,292 --> 00:36:11,377
You are an English speaking
audience?...
689
00:36:14,338 --> 00:36:18,467
Well, listen...I mean those used
to get big laughs in the old
days, you know?...
690
00:36:21,679 --> 00:36:24,390
That's what it is...old jokes,
you know...
691
00:36:24,473 --> 00:36:28,769
Why don't I get a stool, sit
down, we'll talk a little
bit...we'll rap and don't go
away.
692
00:36:28,853 --> 00:36:29,395
I'll be right back.
693
00:36:30,813 --> 00:36:33,232
Thank you...
694
00:36:35,026 --> 00:36:37,278
Things have changed.
695
00:36:37,361 --> 00:36:40,656
Let's talk a little bit about
the generation gap...
696
00:36:40,740 --> 00:36:42,783
And I'm here to make it wider.
697
00:36:59,550 --> 00:37:02,136
JULIE:
He once did my father a favor.
698
00:37:02,219 --> 00:37:03,471
GOPHER:
I know what the favor was.
699
00:37:03,554 --> 00:37:07,725
He didn't make him sit through
the act.
700
00:37:08,726 --> 00:37:11,520
Sorry.
701
00:37:11,604 --> 00:37:13,648
JULIE:
No, you're right.
702
00:37:13,731 --> 00:37:17,318
I never should have put him on.
703
00:37:17,401 --> 00:37:23,157
I never should have let my
personal feelings get in the way
of doing my job...
704
00:37:23,240 --> 00:37:24,825
That was a big mistake.
705
00:37:24,909 --> 00:37:26,994
GOPHER:
True.
706
00:37:27,078 --> 00:37:30,331
But come on, Julie, don't take
it so hard.
707
00:37:30,414 --> 00:37:33,709
You know I bet you in a couple
of years time you'll look back
on this whole thing and laugh.
708
00:37:33,793 --> 00:37:34,835
JULIE:
I don't think so.
709
00:37:34,919 --> 00:37:36,504
GOPHER:
I bet you will.
710
00:37:36,587 --> 00:37:38,172
JULIE:
Maybe in ten years.
711
00:37:38,255 --> 00:37:41,884
GOPHER:
At least.
712
00:37:41,968 --> 00:37:45,513
JULIE:
Well, I am responsible...
713
00:37:45,596 --> 00:37:56,065
I'm gonna go back there and take
it like everybody else.
714
00:37:56,148 --> 00:37:57,984
GOPHER:
What everybody else?
715
00:38:02,279 --> 00:38:03,030
BARRY:
Thank you.
716
00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:04,573
Thank you.
717
00:38:04,657 --> 00:38:08,661
And the names they give kids
today...A lot different than it
was in my day.
718
00:38:08,744 --> 00:38:12,248
My day had names like Tom, Dick,
Harry and Charlie, Mike.
719
00:38:12,331 --> 00:38:15,793
You know...today you go to the
park you hear mothers say names
like...
720
00:38:15,876 --> 00:38:19,088
Michael Jeffrey...or
721
00:38:19,171 --> 00:38:20,840
Lafayette...
722
00:38:20,923 --> 00:38:22,341
That's a first name.
723
00:38:22,425 --> 00:38:27,221
Grandmother says Lafayette over
there.
724
00:38:27,304 --> 00:38:30,057
I'll tell you kids born today
are a little bit different.
725
00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:31,392
Let's face it.
726
00:38:31,475 --> 00:38:34,395
Most kids born today have no
spines...
727
00:38:34,478 --> 00:38:35,896
Think I'm jokin', huh?
728
00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:37,106
Go to any corner...
729
00:38:37,189 --> 00:38:39,442
this is how they stand...Hey...
730
00:38:39,525 --> 00:38:44,071
Hey, hey...
731
00:38:44,155 --> 00:38:51,746
And another thing...when we used
to take out girls, we didn't go
home after we took the girl
home.
732
00:38:51,829 --> 00:38:55,249
We had to go back to the corner
in the old days...
733
00:38:55,332 --> 00:38:59,587
no matter what time, you went
back to the corner 'cause you
had to give a report...
734
00:38:59,670 --> 00:39:02,465
They had to find out how you
made out...
735
00:39:02,548 --> 00:39:06,969
Get to the corner there'd be a
lot of guys doin' somethin' like
this to you...
736
00:39:07,053 --> 00:39:12,099
and you go...
737
00:39:12,183 --> 00:39:16,520
Or we know you lied...
738
00:39:21,692 --> 00:39:24,111
Ah, listen, I want to thank you
very much.
739
00:39:24,195 --> 00:39:29,033
You've been a most wonderful
audience and I am a little tired
and I'm not lyin'.
740
00:39:29,116 --> 00:39:32,161
Good night.
741
00:39:44,256 --> 00:39:45,716
ISAAC:
Fantastic, Barry.
742
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:46,467
Fantastic.
743
00:39:46,550 --> 00:39:47,635
JULIE:
Congratulations, Barry.
744
00:39:47,718 --> 00:39:49,303
You were terrific.
745
00:39:49,386 --> 00:39:50,304
BARRY:
I was...I was good?
746
00:39:50,387 --> 00:39:50,763
Right?
747
00:39:50,846 --> 00:39:51,806
JULIE:
Yeah.
748
00:39:51,889 --> 00:39:53,557
FREDDIE:
Barry Keith, where have you been
hiding?
749
00:39:53,641 --> 00:39:54,391
BARRY:
Huh?
750
00:39:54,475 --> 00:39:56,143
FREDDIE:
I've got plans for you, pal.
751
00:39:56,227 --> 00:39:57,478
Come on, we've got to talk.
752
00:39:57,561 --> 00:39:59,438
We'll start with some small
clubs.
753
00:39:59,522 --> 00:40:01,941
Maybe in a couple of months Las
Vegas, T.V., you know.
754
00:40:02,024 --> 00:40:03,943
BARRY:
Later...later, okay?
755
00:40:04,026 --> 00:40:06,362
FREDDIE:
Look, this is important.
756
00:40:06,445 --> 00:40:08,072
BARRY:
This is more important.
757
00:40:08,155 --> 00:40:09,198
I'll see you later.
758
00:40:11,408 --> 00:40:13,160
Julie, can you ever forgive me?
759
00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:15,246
JULIE: Oh...
760
00:40:15,329 --> 00:40:16,330
BARRY:
But when you've been in the
spotlight all your life and
761
00:40:16,413 --> 00:40:18,624
suddenly they begin to ignore
you...you panic...
762
00:40:20,584 --> 00:40:23,003
You'd do anything to get their
attention.
763
00:40:23,087 --> 00:40:25,339
Anything to get them on top
again.
764
00:40:27,299 --> 00:40:31,512
But if it means losing the
respect of a decent girl like
yourself...
765
00:40:31,595 --> 00:40:33,848
then this time the price is too
high.
766
00:40:35,808 --> 00:40:39,728
JULIE:
Barry...it pains me to say this,
but...
767
00:40:39,812 --> 00:40:42,439
BARRY:
You still hate me?
768
00:40:42,523 --> 00:40:44,817
JULIE:
You're standin' on my foot...
769
00:40:48,279 --> 00:40:50,990
You were terrific.
770
00:40:59,123 --> 00:41:00,541
DOC:
Hold on.
771
00:41:00,624 --> 00:41:04,378
SHIRLEY:
Doc, I'm sorry to bother you
this late.
772
00:41:04,461 --> 00:41:06,046
DOC:
Shirley, you cute thing.
773
00:41:06,130 --> 00:41:08,549
At last you see things my way.
774
00:41:08,632 --> 00:41:11,218
SHIRLEY:
Doc, have you ever been in love?
775
00:41:11,302 --> 00:41:14,096
DOC:
Oh, at least once during every
cruise.
776
00:41:14,180 --> 00:41:18,267
SHIRLEY:
Oh...You see with Dave and
me....it's the real thing.
777
00:41:21,103 --> 00:41:24,815
DOC:
Aha...well, why didn't you tell
me?
778
00:41:24,899 --> 00:41:26,525
SHIRLEY:
I tried.
779
00:41:26,609 --> 00:41:30,237
But this whole thing mushroomed
and now my grandmother is set on
the idea of you and me.
780
00:41:30,321 --> 00:41:32,364
DOC:
I am quite a catch.
781
00:41:32,448 --> 00:41:35,868
Why don't you just tell your
grandmother what you told me?
782
00:41:35,951 --> 00:41:39,705
SHIRLEY:
I don't know how to do that
without hurting her feelings...
783
00:41:39,788 --> 00:41:41,916
She's an old lady.
784
00:41:41,999 --> 00:41:44,627
She's been both mother and
father to me.
785
00:41:44,710 --> 00:41:48,297
She has such high hopes for my
future...I'm all she has.
786
00:41:48,380 --> 00:41:50,966
DOC:
And you're scared to mess with
her.
787
00:41:51,050 --> 00:41:54,094
SHIRLEY:
Right...Oh, I'd never hear the
end of it...
788
00:41:54,178 --> 00:41:58,140
How she found me this terrific
doctor and I turned him down.
789
00:41:58,224 --> 00:42:00,434
DOC:
Well, maybe she just doesn't
know me well enough.
790
00:42:00,518 --> 00:42:02,061
SHIRLEY:
What do you mean?
791
00:42:02,144 --> 00:42:06,232
DOC:
Shirley, ask your grandmother to
be here in my office about three
tomorrow.
792
00:42:06,315 --> 00:42:08,984
I might just be able to turn her
around.
793
00:42:09,068 --> 00:42:11,987
SHIRLEY:
Oh, doc, I thank you...Dave
thanks you.
794
00:42:12,071 --> 00:42:13,447
DOC:
Yeah.
795
00:42:13,530 --> 00:42:16,784
Well, I'm a poor loser, Shirley,
so don't come to me for your
Wasserman.
796
00:42:28,545 --> 00:42:33,467
GRAM:
Oh, what a dream, this beautiful
corsage from the doctor...
797
00:42:33,550 --> 00:42:38,305
and asking us to be here,
because he has something
important to say.
798
00:42:38,389 --> 00:42:41,725
Thank you, thank you big
matchmaker up in the sky.
799
00:42:43,727 --> 00:42:46,313
I always wanted a doctor in the
family.
800
00:42:46,397 --> 00:42:47,815
And what a practice.
801
00:42:47,898 --> 00:42:50,943
People come to him from all over
the ship.
802
00:42:53,195 --> 00:42:55,155
DOC:
[SINGING]So set 'em up Joe.
803
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:57,908
I heard a lot of stories...
804
00:43:00,911 --> 00:43:03,706
GRAM:
Oh my lord.
805
00:43:07,418 --> 00:43:09,795
DOC:
All ready to operate, nurse
806
00:43:11,755 --> 00:43:13,173
Take off your uniform.
807
00:43:13,257 --> 00:43:14,675
GRAM:
Get your hands off of her!
808
00:43:14,758 --> 00:43:16,510
SHIRLEY:
Oh, it's alright, Grandma, we're
almost engaged.
809
00:43:16,593 --> 00:43:18,387
GRAM:
Over my dead body.
810
00:43:18,470 --> 00:43:21,307
Leave her alone, you
degenerate...
811
00:43:23,475 --> 00:43:27,021
Oh, how did I ever get into
this...
812
00:43:32,276 --> 00:43:34,737
I am a stupid, old, meddling
fool.
813
00:43:37,948 --> 00:43:39,825
SHIRLEY:
That's right.
814
00:43:42,953 --> 00:43:46,123
You're also a wonderful person
and I love you very much.
815
00:43:47,374 --> 00:43:50,502
Doc was just putting on an act
for you because...
816
00:43:50,586 --> 00:43:54,340
I didn't have the guts to tell
you...that I'm in love with
Dave.
817
00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:57,343
GRAM:
I see.
818
00:43:57,426 --> 00:43:58,844
SHIRLEY:
Do you, Gram?
819
00:43:58,927 --> 00:44:01,263
You always look at the surface
of everything.
820
00:44:01,347 --> 00:44:04,600
Do you think that a man is a
better human being just because
he's a doctor?
821
00:44:04,683 --> 00:44:06,435
DOC:
I always thought so.
822
00:44:06,518 --> 00:44:09,772
SHIRLEY:
Gram, Dave is a wonderful guy,
we have everything in common.
823
00:44:10,773 --> 00:44:13,025
I think we can make a go of it.
824
00:44:17,738 --> 00:44:20,115
GRAM:
Then what are you waiting for?
825
00:44:20,199 --> 00:44:23,952
Let's go find him before he
throws you over for some nobody.
826
00:44:24,036 --> 00:44:27,081
SHIRLEY:
Ah, thanks, Gram.
827
00:44:27,164 --> 00:44:32,961
GRAM:
And I promise you from now on I
will stay out of your affairs.
828
00:44:41,845 --> 00:44:44,765
DANNY:
We're gonna be docking in San
Pedro in about half hour.
829
00:44:47,184 --> 00:44:48,894
BARBARA: I wish we'd met
earlier.
830
00:45:00,114 --> 00:45:02,282
Um...
831
00:45:02,366 --> 00:45:09,456
I have to go see the purser and
everyone's gonna be hangin'
around when we dock, so why
don't we say goodbye now?
832
00:45:09,540 --> 00:45:16,171
DANNY: Okay...goodbye
and...hello.
833
00:45:33,021 --> 00:45:34,773
ANGLE
PAUL: Hey, Hey, where've you
been?
834
00:45:34,857 --> 00:45:37,276
We've been lookin' all over for
you.
835
00:45:37,359 --> 00:45:39,236
DANNY:
I was just sayin' goodbye to
somebody.
836
00:45:39,319 --> 00:45:42,865
CARL:
And does that somebody have
anything to do with the towel
hung on your door last night?
837
00:45:42,948 --> 00:45:44,158
DANNY:
Towel?
838
00:45:44,241 --> 00:45:46,952
On my door, huh?
839
00:45:47,035 --> 00:45:51,540
CARL:
Ah, does that smile look like
the smile of a lover?
840
00:45:51,623 --> 00:45:53,834
PAUL:
Yes, ladies and gentlemen it
does.
841
00:45:53,917 --> 00:45:55,043
CARL:
Who was she, Romeo?
842
00:45:55,127 --> 00:45:55,627
PAUL:
A name.
843
00:45:55,711 --> 00:45:56,503
We gotta have a name?
844
00:45:56,587 --> 00:45:59,006
Half the ship's money is riding
on this.
845
00:45:59,089 --> 00:46:00,507
CARL: Was she a real dog?
846
00:46:00,591 --> 00:46:01,175
Huh?
847
00:46:01,258 --> 00:46:02,843
Bow-wow city, real mercy case.
848
00:46:02,926 --> 00:46:04,344
Let's have a name.
849
00:46:04,428 --> 00:46:06,889
DANNY:
I...I don't know her name.
850
00:46:06,972 --> 00:46:07,681
PAUL:
No name.
851
00:46:07,764 --> 00:46:08,849
No proof.
852
00:46:08,932 --> 00:46:11,143
CARL:
Come on, I tell you about all my
bimbos, don't I?
853
00:46:11,226 --> 00:46:12,060
DANNY:
She wasn't a bimbo.
854
00:46:12,144 --> 00:46:12,561
CARL: Oh, great.
855
00:46:12,644 --> 00:46:13,103
Okay.
856
00:46:13,187 --> 00:46:13,645
So it's true love.3
857
00:46:13,729 --> 00:46:14,104
So what's her name?
858
00:46:14,188 --> 00:46:16,732
BARBARA:
Danny!
859
00:46:16,815 --> 00:46:18,400
See ya!
860
00:46:18,484 --> 00:46:19,526
DANNY:
See ya.
861
00:46:19,610 --> 00:46:22,029
PAUL:
That's her, isn't it?
862
00:46:22,112 --> 00:46:26,033
DANNY:
Her no...no...
863
00:46:26,116 --> 00:46:28,827
look, I...there wasn't any...
864
00:46:28,911 --> 00:46:30,829
wasn't anybody...
865
00:46:30,913 --> 00:46:33,540
There wasn't any girl...
866
00:46:33,624 --> 00:46:34,166
I made it up.
867
00:46:34,249 --> 00:46:34,708
CARL:
Phew...Right.
868
00:46:34,791 --> 00:46:36,877
Let's go get our bundle.
869
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:39,087
PAUL:
Pick up our money before they
leave the ship.
870
00:46:42,299 --> 00:46:48,388
CARL:
Danny if that was no girl...who
was that?
871
00:46:51,308 --> 00:46:55,812
DANNY:
Just somebody who sits behind me
in chemistry class...
872
00:47:00,651 --> 00:47:01,777
I gotta go get my stuff
together.
873
00:47:31,848 --> 00:47:34,935
FREDDIE:
Barry...Barry, if you don't call
me in the morning,
874
00:47:35,018 --> 00:47:35,769
I'll be camping outside your
doorstep.
875
00:47:35,852 --> 00:47:36,436
BARRY:
Wonderful.
876
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:39,773
I live on the fifteen floor...
877
00:47:39,856 --> 00:47:41,984
Well, folks that's it...gotta
cut out now.
878
00:47:42,067 --> 00:47:43,360
Thanks for everything.
879
00:47:43,443 --> 00:47:45,487
JULIE:
I'm glad I caught you before you
left.
880
00:47:45,571 --> 00:47:47,281
Bye bye, Barry.
881
00:47:47,364 --> 00:47:48,865
BARRY:
Bye, bye, Julie.
882
00:47:48,949 --> 00:47:54,079
Listen...you tell your father
for me he's got a great,
beautiful daughter...
883
00:47:55,539 --> 00:47:59,626
You do have a sister, haven't
you?
884
00:47:59,710 --> 00:48:00,794
JULIE:
Bye bye.
885
00:48:10,721 --> 00:48:13,932
BARBARA:
Hey, Danny!!!
886
00:48:22,899 --> 00:48:24,985
GRAM:
A wonderful voyage.
887
00:48:25,068 --> 00:48:31,366
I have a hat...a pair of leather
sandals and a potential member
of the family.
888
00:48:31,450 --> 00:48:33,660
SHIRLEY:
Now, Gram, you promised not to
rush things.
889
00:48:33,744 --> 00:48:35,829
Dave hasn't even asked me to
marry him yet.
890
00:48:35,913 --> 00:48:38,498
DAVE:
And I may not, at least for a
couple of weeks yet.
891
00:48:38,582 --> 00:48:42,836
DOC:
I just want to say adios and
warn you about the drinking
water in L.A.
892
00:48:42,919 --> 00:48:45,172
and wish you two a lot of luck.
893
00:48:45,255 --> 00:48:48,800
GRAM:
Which they're going to need with
a grandmother like me around.
894
00:48:48,884 --> 00:48:52,346
DAVE:
Mrs.Warner, I hope you're around
for a long, long time.
895
00:48:52,429 --> 00:48:54,014
Hey, Doc, thanks for everything.
896
00:48:54,097 --> 00:48:55,098
SHIRLEY:
Goodbye, Doc.
897
00:48:55,182 --> 00:49:00,854
GRAM:
Yeah...well...I wasn't so far
off base.
898
00:49:00,937 --> 00:49:04,358
You're a nice person, you're a
terrible actor, but a nice
person.
899
00:49:04,441 --> 00:49:07,319
How would you like to meet my
niece?
900
00:49:07,402 --> 00:49:11,865
She has a pleasing personality,
she can type...
901
00:49:11,948 --> 00:49:13,367
SHIRLEY:
Come on, Gram!
902
00:49:13,450 --> 00:49:16,578
GRAM:
...and her meatloaf is a joy to
the palate.
903
00:49:16,662 --> 00:49:20,666
Oh, and...and she's a former
Miss Illinois.
904
00:49:22,125 --> 00:49:24,169
DOC: Did you say meatloaf?!!
68193
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