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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,012 --> 00:00:14,514 "Love 2 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,935 Exciting and new 3 00:00:19,018 --> 00:00:21,604 Come aboard 4 00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:26,776 We're expecting you. 5 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,945 Love 6 00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,742 life's sweetest reward 7 00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,911 Let it flow 8 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:41,624 it floats back to you 9 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:45,587 The Love Boat 10 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:50,675 soon will be making another run 11 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,762 The Love Boat 12 00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:59,350 promises something for everyone 13 00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:01,603 Set a course for adventure 14 00:01:01,686 --> 00:01:05,398 Your mind on a new romance 15 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:13,281 Love won't hurt anymore 16 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:22,665 It's an open smile on a friendly shore 17 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:28,338 Yes, love 18 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:30,423 Welcome aboard, it's love" 19 00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:04,624 DANNY: Hello! 20 00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:06,543 JULIE: Danny, Paul, Lee and Carl, right? 21 00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,628 DANNY: Hey, that's pretty good. 22 00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:09,546 How'd you know? 23 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:10,880 JULIE: Trick of the trade. 24 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,382 Just don't ask me which one of you is which. 25 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,217 All right? 26 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:17,053 You're in one-seventeen and one-nineteen on the Fiesta Deck. 27 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,263 CARL: Oh, thanks. 28 00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:23,059 I...understand that there's a lot of action on this ship. 29 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,562 JULIE: Nothing but. All day, all night. 30 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:26,771 It just doesn't quit. 31 00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,273 DANNY: Well, that's great. 32 00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:29,190 JULIE: No, I mean it. 33 00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:30,900 We got bingo, shuffleboard, ping-pong. 34 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:33,570 You name it, we've got it. 35 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:34,612 CARL: Great plan. 36 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,197 Comin' on a cruise. 37 00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:39,784 JULIE: Oh, if you were talking about female companionship, don't worry. 38 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,494 We've got lots of opportunities. 39 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:47,250 CARL: Well, that's good, 'cause Danny here is about as available as you can get. 40 00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,127 DANNY: You make it sound like I'm only after one thing. 41 00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:50,420 CARL: Aren't you? 42 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:52,088 DANNY: No. 43 00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:03,141 GRANDMA: Believe me, Shirley, this is the place for you to find a husband. 44 00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:04,934 SHIRLEY: Grandma... 45 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:08,771 GRANDMA: I won't say another word. 46 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,649 SHIRLEY: Come on, Gram, this is your birthday present. 47 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:15,945 I brought you on this cruise so that we could have fun, not so you could find me a husband. 48 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,781 GRANDMA: I gave my promise and I'm going to stick to it. 49 00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,450 No interference in your life. 50 00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:23,953 You're a big girl now, you know what you're doing. 51 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:27,832 You don't need a meddling old lady. 52 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,208 SHIRLEY: Oh, Gram... 53 00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:32,045 JULIE: Well, now you've had the grand tour. 54 00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:33,796 BARRY: Ah, the Love Boat. 55 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,298 It's a big waterbed. 56 00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:39,469 I heard of sex, but this is going overboard. 57 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,346 JULIE: Boy, you haven't changed a bit. 58 00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:43,056 BARRY: Yeah, but you have. 59 00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:44,599 I can't get over it. 60 00:03:44,682 --> 00:03:45,516 I really can't. 61 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,311 I remember you when you were this big... 62 00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:52,148 And here you are the cruise director of a big, beautiful floatel. 63 00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:54,150 I bet your Dad's tickled pink. 64 00:03:54,233 --> 00:03:56,819 JULIE: He is and he asked me to say hello to you, Mr.Keith 65 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,529 BARRY: Barry...Barry. 66 00:03:58,613 --> 00:03:59,656 JULIE: Oh... 67 00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:01,783 HARDY: His delivery is so good. 68 00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:02,951 BARRY: Hardy Stevens! 69 00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:06,496 One of the biggest agents we have here in the business. 70 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:07,830 HARDY: Barry. 71 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:10,750 BARRY: Now if you came on this boat to sign me up, forget it... 72 00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:12,001 I'm on vacation. 73 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:15,004 HARDY: Right, Barry, anything you say. 74 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,589 BARRY: Don't be such a sore loser. 75 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:22,136 GRANDMA: Yoo-hoo...sailor person. 76 00:04:25,264 --> 00:04:26,307 GOPHER: Welcome aboard, ladies. 77 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,475 I'm Yeoman Purser Smith. 78 00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:27,934 How can I help you? 79 00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:28,476 SHIRLEY: Hello. 80 00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:29,269 I'm Shirley Warner. 81 00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:32,021 This is my grandmother Mrs.Warner 82 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:35,942 GRANDMA: We'd like to have our meals at a table for singles. 83 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:41,406 BARRY: I'll tell you...that hotel was murder. 84 00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:49,706 The rooms were so small you had to go out in the hall just to change your mind. 85 00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:50,540 BARRY: Whoa...wait a minute. 86 00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:53,042 Aren't you gonna escort me to my suite? 87 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:57,714 JULIE: Well, Barry see, according to this you're not exactly in a suite. 88 00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,257 BARRY: Well, that's okay. 89 00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:02,385 I remember when I started at the Thunderbird they overbooked the hotel so much, 90 00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,887 they could only put me up in a broom closet. 91 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:08,016 I had a choice...sleep or sweep. 92 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:08,683 So that's it... 93 00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:09,600 I'm gonna be up on the deck. 94 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:10,727 I'll socialize. 95 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:11,728 Mingle with the little people. 96 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:12,729 You know how it is. 97 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,231 JULIE: I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time. 98 00:05:15,314 --> 00:05:16,399 Hey, here's the elevator. 99 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:18,109 BARRY: Hey, I got scared. 100 00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:19,027 I thought this was my room first. 101 00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:21,446 But look at that, a captive audience. 102 00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,239 What do you know about that? 103 00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:25,199 Did you ever hear the story about the one-armed... 104 00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:29,704 CAPTAIN: Welcome aboard, ladies. 105 00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:31,080 I'm Captain Stubing. 106 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:31,581 SHIRLEY: Hello. 107 00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:32,623 GRANDMA: Hello. 108 00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:33,750 You're Captain Stubing. 109 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,084 CAPTAIN: Yes. 110 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:38,755 GRANDMA: Well, Leonard Keller never stopped mentioning your name. 111 00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,214 CAPTAIN: Leonard Keller? 112 00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:44,177 GRANDMA: Yeah, he took this cruise about four years ago...pale...frail. 113 00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:49,432 And when he came home, he had put on twelve pounds. 114 00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:52,101 Said he never felt healthier in his life. 115 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,978 CAPTAIN: Well, that's just marvelous... 116 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,731 Well, how is Leonard Keller? 117 00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:02,820 GRANDMA: Uh...oh...he died. 118 00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:06,949 CAPTAIN: Oh, I'm sorry. 119 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:07,784 GRANDMA: Yeah. 120 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,786 Well, that's life... 121 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:12,246 Come on, Shirley. 122 00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:42,652 ISAAC: No, it's cool. 123 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:45,113 I got a friend who owes me a favor. 124 00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:46,364 JULIE: Thank you. 125 00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:48,491 ISAAC: Listen, I got another friend who owes me some caviar. 126 00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:50,159 JULIE: No, that's okay, Isaac. 127 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,703 I just want Barry to feel like he's still on top. 128 00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:54,664 You know, when he was a star he gave my Dad 129 00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:55,665 his start in the business. 130 00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:56,791 ISAAC: No kidding? 131 00:06:56,874 --> 00:07:00,169 You know I think I remember Barry when I was a kid. 132 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,296 Didn't he used to appear on the Ed Sullivan show? 133 00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:04,048 JULIE: Yeah, he was on all those shows then. 134 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,342 ISAAC: And didn't he wear a crazy hat and carry a cane? 135 00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:07,677 JULIE: He still does. 136 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,387 ISAAC: And didn't he tell old jokes? 137 00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:10,763 JULIE: He still does. 138 00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:14,725 But he sure deserves more than the cheapest cabin on the ship... 139 00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:18,271 Thanks again. 140 00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:19,814 ISAAC: Any time. 141 00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:23,568 BARRY: Coming. 142 00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:28,197 JULIE: Special delivery. 143 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:29,699 Compliments of the Captain. 144 00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:30,575 BARRY: Captain?... 145 00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:32,535 How nice. 146 00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:34,829 I guess you're old enough to have a little bubbly these days. 147 00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:37,373 JULIE: Yeah... 148 00:07:37,456 --> 00:07:41,502 Oh, Barry, it's been such a long time since I've seen you. 149 00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,880 BARRY: You remember when you were just a little bitty thing 150 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,507 and your Dad used to bring you backstage? 151 00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:47,884 JULIE: I remember. 152 00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:53,222 BARRY: Your father was one of the nicest persons I ever helped. 153 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:57,101 JULIE: Well, if you hadn't helped my father, he might not have gone into show business. 154 00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,687 BARRY: Speaking of show business...what do you do here on board? 155 00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,856 I mean, you got any entertainment here? 156 00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:03,691 JULIE: Oh, yeah... 157 00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:06,235 There's a terrific combo in the Acapulco Lounge and we've got some great acts down there... 158 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,571 BARRY: I know what you're thinking. 159 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:12,074 You're wondering if old Uncle Barry will do his act. 160 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:16,120 I'll tell you, Julie, I really came on the cruise to take a rest. 161 00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:18,247 JULIE: Oh, I wouldn't dream of imposing on you. 162 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,792 I'm sure the last thing you want to do while you're on this ship is to work. 163 00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:25,129 BARRY: Julie, if it'll help you out, I'll do fifteen minutes. 164 00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:27,256 Not my whole act. 165 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,925 JULIE: Well, I'd love it. 166 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:32,136 But I really don't think that's necessary. 167 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:35,556 BARRY: Fine with me, but do you think I should disappoint the Captain? 168 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:36,933 JULIE: Captain? 169 00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:40,978 BARRY: Come on, Julie...Why do you think he sent the champagne for? 170 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,449 DANNY: Gonna...take a picture? 171 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:57,203 GIRL: No, I'm going bowling...Can't you tell by my shoes? 172 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,999 DANNY: That's...that's funny...that's funny. 173 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:05,419 You know this...photography thing must be fascinating. 174 00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:07,505 You got so many things to shoot here... 175 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,466 Hey... 176 00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:13,970 Hey, why don't you take a picture of...Mister Man-About-Boat? 177 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:18,349 GIRL: I don't do still life...And you're blocking my light. 178 00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:20,476 DANNY: Where would you like me to move? 179 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:22,603 GIRL: Cleveland. 180 00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:36,659 DAVE: Sorry... 181 00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:43,165 Shirley? 182 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:46,002 SHIRLEY: Dave?... 183 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,420 Dave King. 184 00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:48,963 Oh, what a... 185 00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:50,006 How are you? 186 00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:51,674 I haven't seen you since the reunion. 187 00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:53,009 DAVE: Well, what's...what's it been...five years? 188 00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,135 SHIRLEY: Just about... 189 00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:56,012 I hear you got married. 190 00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:58,347 DAVE: Also...we're divorced. 191 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:00,349 SHIRLEY: Oh. 192 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,310 DAVE: Say, how 'bout you, are you...still single? 193 00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:05,187 SHIRLEY: Yeah, still single. 194 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,189 DAVE: That's great. 195 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:11,902 SHIRLEY: Not according to my grandmother...Oh! 196 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:15,031 Gram...Gram, come here, I want you to meet somebody. 197 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,365 GRAM: Oh... 198 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,326 SHIRLEY: You remember my grandmother. 199 00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:19,994 DAVE: What a wonderful character. 200 00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:22,038 SHIRLEY: She hasn't mellowed with age... 201 00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,832 Gram, you remember Dave King. 202 00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:26,375 I went with him in my senior year. 203 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,668 DAVE: Hello, Mrs.Warner 204 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,880 GRAM: Uh...Dave King, Dave King... 205 00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,715 Shirley always has so many fellas... 206 00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:37,386 I have to figure a way to remember them all... 207 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,347 Oh...yeah...oh, now I remember, 208 00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,600 you were...O.D.D. 209 00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:45,853 Old...Desoto... Dandruff. 210 00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:48,898 DAVE: Well, actually, I got rid of them both. 211 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:51,859 Think she's got me pretty well pegged alright. 212 00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:56,447 GRAM: Well...listen, David...since you graduated, 213 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:57,740 what've you been doin' with yourself? 214 00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:59,784 DAVE: Well, I'm a teacher. 215 00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:01,952 GRAM: How wonderful. 216 00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:03,662 Did you hear that Shirley? 217 00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:04,372 A teacher. 218 00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,582 What college do you teach at? 219 00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:08,084 DAVE: Oh, no, no. 220 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,377 I...I don't teach college. 221 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:12,713 I...I teach sixth grade arithmetic. 222 00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:16,592 GRAM: Oh...excuse me...I have to talk to her in private... 223 00:11:16,675 --> 00:11:19,220 It's very important. 224 00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:22,640 SHIRLEY: Excuse me Dave, I'll be right back. 225 00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:25,267 SHIRLEY: Gram, are you gonna start again? 226 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:28,562 GRAM: I am not interfering with you, I'm talking to you as a friend. 227 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,439 He's not right for you. 228 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,108 SHIRLEY: What is this right for me? 229 00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:33,317 He's a person I know. 230 00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:34,819 I'm talking to him. 231 00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:37,947 GRAM: Do you know what a school teacher makes? 232 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,616 On his pay he is probably a stowaway. 233 00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:43,786 SHIRLEY: Oh, Gram, honestly. 234 00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:47,832 GRAM: Far be it for me to tell you what to do. 235 00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:50,876 But...but this is a place for you to find a nice boy. 236 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:57,466 Promise me that you won't spend all your time with Mr. 237 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,093 Wrong? 238 00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:01,345 SHIRLEY: I promise. 239 00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,764 GRAM: And that you will go and mix and mingle. 240 00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:04,140 SHIRLEY: I'll mix. 241 00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:05,141 I'll mingle. 242 00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:10,646 GRAM: Maybe show a little more cleavage. 243 00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:25,286 PAUL: You're a man, right? 244 00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:26,620 You're nineteen years old. 245 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:29,123 DANNY: And a half...nineteen and a half. 246 00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:32,168 PAUL: You're a freshman in college, one of the finest pledges in our fraternity. 247 00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:34,295 You just got this one little problem. 248 00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:38,090 You're still...oh...what's the word I'm looking for? 249 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:41,343 CARL: Virgin. 250 00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:45,181 PAUL: That's the word...So what are you sitting around doing nothing for? 251 00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:47,308 There is a boat loaded with women. 252 00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:49,852 You're the one who said by the time I get to Acapulco. 253 00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:50,686 DANNY: Yes, sir. 254 00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:51,395 CARL: Come on. 255 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,938 Lay off of him. 256 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,607 Will you two leave. 257 00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:59,862 PAUL: You know there are worse things in the world than being...in your state. 258 00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:01,405 CARL: Yeah, you can have a couple of broken legs. 259 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,240 DANNY: My brother has the same problem. 260 00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,074 PAUL: Your brother? 261 00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:05,117 The attorney? 262 00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,870 DANNY: No, my brother the little league pitcher. 263 00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:11,165 But as soon as he hits puberty, watch out. 264 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:24,845 BARRY: Ha...ha...now we're comin' to the punch... 265 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,889 Waiter, hey...hey, come here, come here... 266 00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:30,392 Bring me a pint of oysters and hold the pearls. 267 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:32,937 Now that's the first joke...wanna hear a second one? 268 00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:38,901 DOC: He could wipe the smile off the Mona Lisa. 269 00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:39,902 JULIE: I don't know what to do. 270 00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:43,572 He's angling for me to put him in the show. 271 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,283 DOC: Just tell him we have a new entertainment policy. 272 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,077 We only use entertainers. 273 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,912 JULIE: Thanks. 274 00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,414 BARRY: Say, Captain, would you pass me the butter please? 275 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:54,750 I would appreciate it very much... 276 00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:58,504 If I could only get the waiter over here I'd appreciate this even a lot more... 277 00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:04,843 That's the way it is with folks...they take advantage and all that stuff. 278 00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:14,937 Hey, here you go. 279 00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:32,997 DANNY: Hello... 280 00:14:35,874 --> 00:14:38,294 I couldn't help but notice you here. 281 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:42,298 You certainly are attractive...I was wondering if you'd like to... 282 00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,466 [LOUD HORN] 283 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:45,718 GIRL: What? 284 00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:49,138 [LOUD HORN] 285 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,764 DANNY: [YELLING] Come down to my cabin tonight. 286 00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,275 It's been nice talkin' to you. 287 00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:02,192 GIRL: Aha... 288 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,451 PAUL: How many days does he have left? 289 00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:13,871 CARL: I don't know, but he's gonna need every one of them. 290 00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:18,667 BARRY: Oh boy... 291 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,836 so then the guy says... 292 00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:26,133 Listen, how do I know that you know whether there are six hundred and fifty-two cows in the herd, exactly? 293 00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:27,384 How? 294 00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:31,597 He said, that's easy, you count the legs and divide by four... 295 00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:36,602 Isn't that wild? 296 00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:37,686 Hah? 297 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:38,812 Isn't that beautiful? 298 00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:42,816 I mean...I mean...well... 299 00:15:49,406 --> 00:15:53,118 Oh, excuse me...I don't fool around with young people... 300 00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:57,873 Hey, Julie, how are you? 301 00:15:57,956 --> 00:16:00,376 Now when am I on the bill? 302 00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:02,878 I mean...I'm a headline you know, I don't go on first. 303 00:16:02,961 --> 00:16:06,715 JULIE: Well, uh, Barry, I haven't actually had time to reschedule the show yet. 304 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:07,549 I uh... 305 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,592 BARRY: Ah, details. 306 00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:09,760 I'll leave that to you. 307 00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:11,720 Listen, I gotta go rehearse. 308 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,764 I'll see you later, huh kiddo. 309 00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:19,395 You don't have to thank me...I'd do anything for you... 310 00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,063 What do you say, Captain? 311 00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:22,731 Hey, who's watchin' the store? 312 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:23,899 CAPTAIN: Yeah... 313 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,571 He was bothering you too, hm? 314 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:30,406 JULIE: Who? 315 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:32,366 Mr.Keith 316 00:16:32,449 --> 00:16:33,242 bothering me? 317 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:36,245 Why he's the funniest man in the world. 318 00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:39,623 CAPTAIN: Miss McCoy, there is funny ha ha, there is funny peculiar... 319 00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:45,879 Woody Allen is funny ha ha...buttering one's hand is funny peculiar. 320 00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:50,926 JULIE: You're right, sir...but he's expecting me to put him in the show. 321 00:16:51,009 --> 00:16:53,595 CAPTAIN: Well, you're the officer in charge of entertainment. 322 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:54,638 Tell him no. 323 00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,223 JULIE: But he's an old friend of my father's. 324 00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:57,266 I feel obligated. 325 00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,559 CAPTAIN: Then put him in. 326 00:16:58,642 --> 00:16:59,935 JULIE: But he's not funny. 327 00:17:00,018 --> 00:17:01,061 CAPTAIN: Then don't put him in. 328 00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:03,272 JULIE: But I like him and it means so much to him. 329 00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:04,565 CAPTAIN: Then put him in. 330 00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:06,567 JULIE: But I have a responsibility to the other passengers... 331 00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:08,318 CAPTAIN: Then don't put him in! 332 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:13,532 Miss McCoy, when one is in a position of authority, one has to make difficult decisions. 333 00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:18,328 Decisions that affect people's lives, but you have to do it...you have to be rough. 334 00:17:20,038 --> 00:17:21,331 JULIE: Thank you, sir. 335 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:26,420 I'm going to be honest and tell him he stinks and he's not going on. 336 00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,130 CAPTAIN: That's rough. 337 00:17:34,928 --> 00:17:35,721 DANNY: Hi there. 338 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:38,640 BARBARA: Hi. 339 00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:43,270 DANNY: Do you live around here?... 340 00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:51,320 Nice talking to you. 341 00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:55,616 DOC: Just take one of these before bedtime, it'll help you to sleep. 342 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,619 GRAM: I hope so. 343 00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:01,663 Things go whirling around in my head all night. 344 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,791 DOC: Well, what kind of things? 345 00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,334 GRAM: Family things. 346 00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:08,295 There's so much left unfinished. 347 00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:10,339 And I'm not getting any younger. 348 00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:13,217 DOC: Well, you're just as young as you feel, Mrs.Warner 349 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:14,551 And you feel pretty young to me... 350 00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:16,512 A little medical joke. 351 00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:18,013 GRAM: Doctor, your hand. 352 00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:18,847 DOC: Yeah. 353 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,849 I've got one on the other arm, too. 354 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,936 GRAM: There's no wedding ring. 355 00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:25,187 DOC: Right. 356 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,523 Mrs.Warner, is this a proposal? 357 00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:29,191 GRAM: Ha...ha... 358 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:30,526 DOC: How 'bout your insomnia? 359 00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:32,069 GRAM: What insomnia? 360 00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:34,696 Soon I'll be sleeping like a baby. 361 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:37,241 DOC: What about that, I'm a faith healer. 362 00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:43,539 GRAM: How would you like to meet a young, gorgeous sexy person? 363 00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:46,917 DOC: I've already met one today. 364 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,212 GRAM: It's my granddaughter, Shirley. 365 00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:54,716 She's got a brand new car, she's got a stereo tape-deck... 366 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,260 DOC: Mrs. Warner 367 00:18:56,343 --> 00:19:00,514 I've been accused of many things but being a fortune hunter isn't one of them. 368 00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:02,516 What kind of car? 369 00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:03,392 Believe me, Mrs.Warner 370 00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,727 I'd love to meet her, but really... 371 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:08,939 GRAM: Shall we say in the Acapulco Lounge seven o'clock? 372 00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:09,815 DOC: Oh, seven. 373 00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:11,066 I've got an awful lot of things to do. 374 00:19:11,149 --> 00:19:11,942 GRAM: Wonderful. 375 00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:14,695 I'll see you then. 376 00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:20,450 DOC: Another fine mess you've got me into. 377 00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:22,411 BARRY: How's that? 378 00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:23,412 That all right? 379 00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:24,371 Yeah, sounds all right. 380 00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:25,080 Bring it up a little bit. 381 00:19:25,163 --> 00:19:26,206 Yeah. 382 00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:30,627 Let's do it that way...Testing...one, two, three... 383 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:32,921 Yeah, that sounds alright. 384 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,006 Hold it right there. 385 00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:38,886 Hey, Ronnie...give me the spotlight...That's good. 386 00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:41,722 You know it'd be a good idea if you all would sit on my head and do the Parady, right? 387 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,767 Good...Julie, how are you? 388 00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:47,477 Just straightening out the spotlight. 389 00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,398 JULIE: Can I talk to you a minute, Barry? 390 00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:52,107 BARRY: Yeah...sure. 391 00:19:52,190 --> 00:20:01,283 Ronnie, take five. 392 00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:01,617 BARRY: Yeah. 393 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,452 Go ahead. 394 00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:07,414 JULIE: Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but I... 395 00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:08,582 What's wrong? 396 00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:10,626 What is it? 397 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,252 Let me get the doctor for you. 398 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:13,253 BARRY: No, no, no, no, no...I'll be alright. 399 00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,963 Let me...let me catch my breath. 400 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,173 I'll be...I'll be okay. 401 00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:17,299 I...really. 402 00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:17,925 JULIE: What is it, Barry? 403 00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:18,800 Your heart? 404 00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:21,303 BARRY: Oh, no, no, no...I'll be alright. 405 00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:22,429 Just give me a second. 406 00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:23,931 JULIE: Are you sure? 407 00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,141 BARRY: You know what I really need? 408 00:20:26,224 --> 00:20:29,311 The sound of applause. 409 00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:32,648 I'll bet you after the show tonight, I'll feel real good. 410 00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:36,818 Wild horses couldn't stop me from performing... 411 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,821 The show must go on, Julie... 412 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:42,491 right? 413 00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:44,159 JULIE: Right. 414 00:20:44,242 --> 00:20:48,330 The show will go on 415 00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:50,666 and you will too. 416 00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:57,214 DOC: Okay, let's try some jumping jacks...... 417 00:20:57,297 --> 00:21:00,801 As my old army sergeant used to say 418 00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:01,677 I'll tell you guys later what he used to say 419 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:05,180 Here we go. 420 00:21:05,263 --> 00:21:07,224 DANNY: Hello, my name is Danny. 421 00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:10,644 Would you like to come for a drink with me later? 422 00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:12,729 GIRL: See that man lifting weights? 423 00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:15,899 That is my husband. 424 00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:18,694 DANNY: Well...nice talkin' to you. 425 00:21:27,327 --> 00:21:29,371 BARBARA: Hi. 426 00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:31,206 DANNY: Hi. 427 00:21:31,289 --> 00:21:32,874 BARBARA: You look kinda beat. 428 00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:35,419 DANNY: I am. 429 00:21:35,502 --> 00:21:38,380 BARBARA: Ah...in case you're wondering, my name is Barbara Holmes. 430 00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:39,381 DANNY: I'm sorry. 431 00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:40,507 I'm Danny. 432 00:21:40,590 --> 00:21:41,800 BARBARA: Yeah, I know. 433 00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:50,600 Are you meditating or are you just bored? 434 00:21:50,684 --> 00:21:53,061 DANNY: I've got a lot on my mind. 435 00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:54,062 BARBARA: Like with school? 436 00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:56,690 DANNY: No, school's always been a piece of cake. 437 00:21:56,773 --> 00:21:58,233 BARBARA: I wish I could say that. 438 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:01,528 I'm majoring in communications and it's killing me. 439 00:22:01,611 --> 00:22:03,030 DANNY: Communications. 440 00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:03,905 BARBARA: Yeah. 441 00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:05,407 DANNY: Yeah, me too. 442 00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:08,452 BARBARA: Well then, we should be able to communicate. 443 00:22:08,535 --> 00:22:10,746 DANNY: I guess so...I'd better get going. 444 00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:13,331 BARBARA: How about a toast? 445 00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:14,791 DANNY: Sure, why not? 446 00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:18,420 BARBARA: To... 447 00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:20,380 To success. 448 00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:22,507 DANNY: To success... 449 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,973 It's been very nice talking to you. 450 00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:43,153 ISAAC: You really dig him, don't you? 451 00:22:43,236 --> 00:22:44,196 BARBARA: Yeah. 452 00:22:44,279 --> 00:22:48,283 ISAAC: It's none of my business, but...why? 453 00:22:48,366 --> 00:22:50,285 I mean he's only after one thing. 454 00:22:50,368 --> 00:22:53,872 BARBARA: No, it means there's a lot more to him than that. 455 00:22:53,955 --> 00:22:56,958 He's bright, he's sweet, he's really a nice guy. 456 00:22:57,042 --> 00:23:00,837 ISAAC: Are they selling rose-colored glasses in the gift shop? 457 00:23:00,921 --> 00:23:02,380 BARBARA: Now come on, he's under a lot of pressure from his friends. 458 00:23:02,464 --> 00:23:03,757 You know? 459 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,219 And if he could just get past this one thing he could be himself. 460 00:23:07,302 --> 00:23:09,304 ISAAC: You know, you're pretty sharp for such a young girl. 461 00:23:09,387 --> 00:23:11,515 BARBARA: It's not gonna do me any good. 462 00:23:11,598 --> 00:23:14,351 He doesn't even know I exist. 463 00:23:14,434 --> 00:23:16,394 ISAAC: Well, nice talkin' to you. 464 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,361 BARBARA: It's what they all say. 465 00:23:24,444 --> 00:23:25,654 SHIRLEY: Seven o'clock! 466 00:23:25,737 --> 00:23:27,447 I can't make it. 467 00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:33,870 GRAM: Believe me, Shirley, he's handsome...John Hopkins single, and you can't make it? 468 00:23:33,954 --> 00:23:36,498 Where are you when I need you? 469 00:23:36,581 --> 00:23:39,167 SHIRLEY: Gram, Dave King invited me for a drink at seven. 470 00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:40,877 And Gram, he's very nice. 471 00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:43,421 GRAM: Can nice buy you a condominium? 472 00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:45,549 I'm talking doctor. 473 00:23:45,632 --> 00:23:46,758 SHIRLEY: I'm sorry, I've made my plans. 474 00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:50,137 What are you doing? 475 00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:51,638 What...what are you doing?! 476 00:23:51,721 --> 00:23:53,306 GRAM: I'm throwing myself overboard. 477 00:23:53,390 --> 00:23:57,727 What is the point of living when my granddaughter 478 00:23:57,811 --> 00:24:00,647 gives up a doctor for a nobody. 479 00:24:00,730 --> 00:24:02,983 SHIRLEY: Where are you when I need you? 480 00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:08,405 ISAAC: Really? 481 00:24:08,488 --> 00:24:10,198 I mean you're gonna let Barry Keith do the show tomorrow? 482 00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:11,700 JULIE: Yes, I am. 483 00:24:11,783 --> 00:24:14,411 ISAAC: Well, I mean it might work. 484 00:24:15,662 --> 00:24:18,874 Disaster movies are in. 485 00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:21,960 JULIE: Isaac, just between you and me, he's a very sick man. 486 00:24:24,212 --> 00:24:27,382 This could be his last chance to be in the spotlight. 487 00:24:27,465 --> 00:24:30,051 You understand? 488 00:24:30,135 --> 00:24:32,596 ISAAC: Julie, you're alright. 489 00:24:32,679 --> 00:24:34,347 JULIE: Oh, let me take it in. 490 00:24:34,431 --> 00:24:35,056 ISAAC: Okay. 491 00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:37,767 JULIE: Thanks. 492 00:24:37,851 --> 00:24:41,855 ISAAC: Julie...maybe if I'm extra generous with the drinks... 493 00:24:41,938 --> 00:24:44,316 the audience will be too bombed to walk out. 494 00:24:50,655 --> 00:24:51,573 BARRY: Come in. 495 00:25:01,791 --> 00:25:04,628 JULIE: Is that what you call resting? 496 00:25:04,711 --> 00:25:06,129 BARRY: Uh...let me explain. 497 00:25:06,213 --> 00:25:08,381 JULIE: That was a phony heart attack, wasn't it? 498 00:25:08,465 --> 00:25:09,925 BARRY: I always thought I coulda made it as a straight actor... 499 00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:12,928 Julie... 500 00:25:15,889 --> 00:25:18,600 Okay, I'm a phony... 501 00:25:18,683 --> 00:25:21,102 But a desperate one... 502 00:25:21,186 --> 00:25:23,730 Why do you think I came on this cruise for? 503 00:25:23,813 --> 00:25:27,400 Because I knew that Freddie Stevens, the agent, was gonna be on it... 504 00:25:27,484 --> 00:25:31,112 Back in Hollywood they won't even let me in the office to audition. 505 00:25:31,196 --> 00:25:33,823 Ain't that a laugh? 506 00:25:33,907 --> 00:25:36,493 I was a star when he was pressing pants. 507 00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:41,790 JULIE: So you used me? 508 00:25:41,873 --> 00:25:43,583 BARRY: Guilty. 509 00:25:43,667 --> 00:25:46,878 But I helped your father...you owe me one. 510 00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:51,174 JULIE: Right. 511 00:25:51,258 --> 00:25:53,301 But after you do the show tonight, the slate's clean. 512 00:26:13,571 --> 00:26:17,826 DOC: Is there no end to a doctor's self-sacrifice? 513 00:26:17,909 --> 00:26:19,160 ISAAC: Give her a chance, Doc. 514 00:26:19,244 --> 00:26:21,496 I mean, how bad can she be? 515 00:26:21,579 --> 00:26:22,539 Is that her? 516 00:26:22,622 --> 00:26:24,708 DOC: Oh, the moment of truth. 517 00:26:24,791 --> 00:26:26,835 GRAM: Ah, there you are, doctor. 518 00:26:26,918 --> 00:26:29,212 DOC: Ah, there you are, Mrs. Warner 519 00:26:29,296 --> 00:26:31,381 GRAM: Come and meet my beautiful Shirley... 520 00:26:31,464 --> 00:26:37,846 with the warm disposition, who can cook and sew like a bandit. 521 00:26:40,390 --> 00:26:42,684 ISAAC: A sewing bandit? 522 00:26:42,767 --> 00:26:43,727 DOC: Ooh, Mrs. Warner 523 00:26:43,810 --> 00:26:44,811 I forgot. 524 00:26:44,894 --> 00:26:47,355 I...I've got to perform an emergency appendectomy. 525 00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:49,024 GRAM: Ridiculous 526 00:26:49,107 --> 00:26:51,901 DOC: No, on myself. 527 00:26:51,985 --> 00:26:53,403 GRAM: You're just nervous. 528 00:26:53,486 --> 00:26:55,071 Shirley will make you relax. 529 00:26:55,155 --> 00:26:56,364 DOC: But I'm not dressed. 530 00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:58,700 GRAM: My dear fellow... 531 00:26:58,783 --> 00:27:01,369 SHIRLEY: Just to keep my grandmother happy I've invited him over for a drink. 532 00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:02,078 Okay? 533 00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:03,204 DAVE: Okay, but just one drink. 534 00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:09,377 I am not sharing you for more than...fifteen minutes. 535 00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:14,507 GRAM: Dr. Bricker, may I present my granddaughter Shirley Warner. 536 00:27:14,591 --> 00:27:17,218 SHIRLEY: How do you do, doctor? 537 00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:21,014 DOC: Hello, Shirley. 538 00:27:21,097 --> 00:27:23,558 SHIRLEY: I'd like you to meet my friend Dave King. 539 00:27:23,641 --> 00:27:24,768 DOC: Dave, nice to see you. 540 00:27:24,851 --> 00:27:27,062 How are you...nice...good to know you. 541 00:27:27,145 --> 00:27:31,191 GRAM: Well Now...I'll leave you two alone in peace. 542 00:27:31,274 --> 00:27:34,361 They're playing our song. 543 00:27:36,863 --> 00:27:39,657 DOC: Shirley, Shirley, Shirley, where have you been all my life? 544 00:27:55,423 --> 00:28:00,845 DANNY: Okay...Prentice, Sandy Prentice...is she the one with the great left jab? 545 00:28:02,263 --> 00:28:02,889 JULIE: Hi. 546 00:28:02,972 --> 00:28:03,598 How come you didn't go ashore? 547 00:28:03,681 --> 00:28:05,141 DANNY: Ah, no time, no time. 548 00:28:05,225 --> 00:28:06,810 Harriet Langdon. 549 00:28:06,893 --> 00:28:08,478 JULIE: She's seventy-two years old. 550 00:28:08,561 --> 00:28:11,272 DANNY: Ah, she single? 551 00:28:11,356 --> 00:28:13,608 Well, we can scratch Harriet Langdon. 552 00:28:13,691 --> 00:28:19,781 Jones, Carmel Lewis...ah, forget her, she's the one I spilled spaghetti on. 553 00:28:19,864 --> 00:28:20,615 JULIE: Danny... 554 00:28:20,698 --> 00:28:21,741 DANNY: Bertoli Amato. 555 00:28:21,825 --> 00:28:23,243 JULIE: She's a guy. 556 00:28:23,326 --> 00:28:25,286 Danny, could I talk to you for a minute, please? 557 00:28:25,370 --> 00:28:26,663 DANNY: Sure...sure...sure. 558 00:28:26,746 --> 00:28:27,330 JULIE: I mean as a friend. 559 00:28:27,414 --> 00:28:33,253 DANNY: Yeah. 560 00:28:33,336 --> 00:28:34,129 DANNY: Fun? 561 00:28:34,212 --> 00:28:36,756 Sure I had fun. 562 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,634 Maybe not exactly fun. 563 00:28:39,717 --> 00:28:40,844 Look, I didn't come here to have fun. 564 00:28:40,927 --> 00:28:44,305 I came here to find a woman... 565 00:28:44,389 --> 00:28:46,808 Ah, that didn't come out right, but you know what I mean. 566 00:28:46,891 --> 00:28:48,560 JULIE: No, I don't know what you mean. 567 00:28:48,643 --> 00:28:50,145 And I don't think you know what you mean. 568 00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:53,940 I mean you've got this point to prove and I think it's making you miserable. 569 00:28:54,023 --> 00:28:56,276 This is all so unnecessary. 570 00:28:56,359 --> 00:28:57,110 DANNY: Ah, to you, maybe. 571 00:28:57,193 --> 00:28:58,820 But I'm all this ship talks about. 572 00:28:58,903 --> 00:29:04,993 I mean this guy came up to me and he said...is it...is it true what they say about you? 573 00:29:05,076 --> 00:29:09,497 I said, yes, and he asked me for my autograph. 574 00:29:09,581 --> 00:29:13,626 JULIE: I think you're exaggerating. 575 00:29:13,710 --> 00:29:19,340 Danny, I'm a woman and I can tell you that sex is only a small part of what makes a good relationship. 576 00:29:19,424 --> 00:29:21,843 I mean, there is much, much more. 577 00:29:21,926 --> 00:29:25,054 DANNY: Okay, maybe I'm crazy, but if I don't... 578 00:29:27,307 --> 00:29:32,353 I'm never gonna hear the end of it...Hey, maybe I should become a monk... 579 00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:34,856 I've already got the celibacy part mastered. 580 00:29:34,939 --> 00:29:37,150 JULIE: I think you're trying too hard. 581 00:29:37,233 --> 00:29:38,026 DANNY: Yeah? 582 00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:41,196 It's probably like studying for finals. 583 00:29:41,279 --> 00:29:45,158 Everything comes to you on the last night. 584 00:29:45,241 --> 00:29:47,994 JULIE: Couldn't you try to think of something besides sex? 585 00:29:52,790 --> 00:29:54,501 DOC: Well, I have to admit it, Mrs. Warner 586 00:29:54,584 --> 00:29:56,711 everything you said about Shirley is true. 587 00:29:56,794 --> 00:29:59,380 GRAM: Would I lie to a professional man? 588 00:29:59,464 --> 00:30:04,344 There they are...Shirley and her...her acquaintance. 589 00:30:04,427 --> 00:30:05,386 DOC: Hi, Shirley... 590 00:30:05,470 --> 00:30:07,096 Hi, acquaintance. 591 00:30:07,180 --> 00:30:08,973 P.A. VOICE: David King to the Purser's desk. 592 00:30:09,057 --> 00:30:11,476 David King, please. 593 00:30:11,559 --> 00:30:15,855 DAVE: Ah, excuse me, I'd better go see what they want. 594 00:30:15,939 --> 00:30:17,524 DOC: Thought he'd never leave. 595 00:30:17,607 --> 00:30:18,566 Now let's see... 596 00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:20,068 your move or mine. 597 00:30:20,151 --> 00:30:22,028 SHIRLEY: I don't believe this. 598 00:30:22,111 --> 00:30:23,905 Gram, did you deliberately have David paged? 599 00:30:23,988 --> 00:30:24,781 DOC: No. 600 00:30:24,864 --> 00:30:27,158 I did. 601 00:30:45,176 --> 00:30:48,471 CARL: You are missing the party. 602 00:30:48,555 --> 00:30:50,139 DANNY: Are all the women weeping? 603 00:30:50,223 --> 00:30:50,974 CARL: Come on. 604 00:30:51,057 --> 00:30:52,600 Tonight might be your lucky night. 605 00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:53,935 DANNY: Yeah. 606 00:30:54,018 --> 00:30:56,396 I might fall overboard. 607 00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:04,070 BARBARA: Hello, Danny. 608 00:31:04,153 --> 00:31:09,617 DANNY: Barbara...have you come to gawk at the eternal virgin in his natural habitat? 609 00:31:09,701 --> 00:31:12,245 BARBARA: Hey, I'm here because... 610 00:31:12,328 --> 00:31:13,913 well, I was hoping that before the trip was over 611 00:31:13,997 --> 00:31:15,832 that we might get the chance to know each other. 612 00:31:15,915 --> 00:31:17,875 DANNY: You mean that? 613 00:31:17,959 --> 00:31:19,460 BARBARA: I'm here, aren't I? 614 00:31:22,422 --> 00:31:25,967 DANNY: Yeah, you are. 615 00:31:26,050 --> 00:31:28,636 BARBARA: Do you want to take a walk around the ship? 616 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:31,889 DANNY: Sure...sure, why not? 617 00:31:31,973 --> 00:31:34,642 BARBARA: Or, I guess, we could always go down to your cabin. 618 00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:39,314 DANNY: My cabin?... 619 00:31:39,397 --> 00:31:41,524 Sure, my cabin. 620 00:31:41,608 --> 00:31:44,068 BARBARA: Uh, it's this way, isn't it? 621 00:31:44,152 --> 00:31:48,031 DANNY: Uh...right...but...it's left. 622 00:31:49,198 --> 00:31:49,824 That's right. 623 00:31:49,907 --> 00:31:53,494 I mean...that...that's correct. 624 00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:54,329 BARBARA: Right. 625 00:31:54,412 --> 00:31:56,748 DANNY: That's correct. 626 00:32:12,096 --> 00:32:14,265 DANNY: Why don't you sit over there? 627 00:32:20,146 --> 00:32:21,773 BARBARA: Why don't you sit next to me? 628 00:32:23,608 --> 00:32:24,984 DANNY: Good... 629 00:32:32,950 --> 00:32:34,369 here we are. 630 00:32:34,452 --> 00:32:36,704 BARBARA: Yeah. 631 00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:42,585 DANNY: Uhh...would you like a little champagne or... 632 00:32:42,669 --> 00:32:44,253 BARBARA: No, I don't drink. 633 00:32:44,337 --> 00:32:49,258 DANNY: Neither do I...ah...Good music, huh? 634 00:32:51,469 --> 00:32:56,224 Something soft and lyrical and lovely as you are? 635 00:32:57,475 --> 00:32:59,727 I got a cassette of the Led Zeppelin over here. 636 00:33:01,479 --> 00:33:02,230 BARBARA: Danny? 637 00:33:02,313 --> 00:33:04,607 DANNY: Uh...poetry...hah? 638 00:33:04,691 --> 00:33:07,568 I know this little piece by John Dunne. 639 00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:11,572 I wandered lonely as a cloud that floats on high or hill and dale... 640 00:33:13,825 --> 00:33:16,869 when all at once I saw a crowd... 641 00:33:16,953 --> 00:33:20,581 a host of lovely daffodils. 642 00:33:20,665 --> 00:33:23,292 BARBARA: Danny, that's Wordsworth. 643 00:33:23,376 --> 00:33:23,918 DANNY: Yeah. 644 00:33:24,001 --> 00:33:25,753 BARBARA: And, Danny... 645 00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:28,381 DANNY: Yeah. 646 00:33:28,464 --> 00:33:30,967 BARBARA: Knock it off 647 00:33:40,351 --> 00:33:42,895 BARBARA: What's wrong? 648 00:33:42,979 --> 00:33:45,690 DANNY: What are you doing here? 649 00:33:45,773 --> 00:33:47,567 BARBARA: What? 650 00:33:47,650 --> 00:33:52,447 DANNY: I...can't figure out what you're doing here. 651 00:33:52,530 --> 00:33:54,282 BARBARA: I'm here because I like you. 652 00:33:54,365 --> 00:33:56,617 DANNY: Why? 653 00:33:56,701 --> 00:33:57,744 BARBARA: Do you want a list? 654 00:33:57,827 --> 00:33:59,287 DANNY: Yeah. 655 00:34:09,213 --> 00:34:11,632 BARBARA: I think you're a nice guy. 656 00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:16,012 And...and I thought well, maybe the two of us could get along, you know? 657 00:34:16,095 --> 00:34:20,641 Maybe you could like me and... 658 00:34:20,725 --> 00:34:22,101 well, I know I'm not beautiful, but... 659 00:34:22,185 --> 00:34:23,060 DANNY: Oh, come on, knock it off. 660 00:34:23,144 --> 00:34:24,979 You're...you're beautiful. 661 00:34:25,062 --> 00:34:25,813 BARBARA: No, I'm not. 662 00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:26,981 DANNY: Ah, yes you are. 663 00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:28,107 BARBARA: No. 664 00:34:28,191 --> 00:34:30,651 DANNY: Hey...yes...yes you are. 665 00:34:30,735 --> 00:34:32,987 You're beautiful. 666 00:34:33,070 --> 00:34:33,780 You are. 667 00:34:33,863 --> 00:34:35,782 You're beautiful. 668 00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:44,582 BARBARA: Now that's what I call communicating. 669 00:35:09,106 --> 00:35:11,025 JULIE: Ladies and gentlemen, we're priviledged to have with us 670 00:35:11,108 --> 00:35:13,110 tonight for a special performance one of America's 671 00:35:15,112 --> 00:35:19,408 Let's have a big welcome for Barry Keith. 672 00:35:26,290 --> 00:35:28,042 BARRY: Thank you... 673 00:35:28,125 --> 00:35:30,419 I'd like to get one thing straight. 674 00:35:30,503 --> 00:35:33,047 First of all I want you to know I'm sixty-seven years old... 675 00:35:33,130 --> 00:35:36,008 I'm a lot different than other comics the same age, you know. 676 00:35:36,092 --> 00:35:39,595 'Cause I'm really eighty-four... 677 00:35:39,679 --> 00:35:40,805 Eighty- five... 678 00:35:42,265 --> 00:35:43,057 It's on? 679 00:35:43,140 --> 00:35:44,141 The mike...it's on? 680 00:35:44,225 --> 00:35:46,060 Can you hear me? 681 00:35:48,521 --> 00:35:52,984 Uh...speaking about inflation because... 682 00:35:53,067 --> 00:35:56,237 remember the old days when... 683 00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:57,905 you wouldn't give two cents for a guy...remember them? 684 00:35:57,989 --> 00:35:59,031 Huh? 685 00:35:59,115 --> 00:36:01,367 Well, today it's three for a dollar. 686 00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:06,539 Isn't that wild? 687 00:36:06,622 --> 00:36:09,208 I know you're out there, I hear breathing... 688 00:36:09,292 --> 00:36:11,377 You are an English speaking audience?... 689 00:36:14,338 --> 00:36:18,467 Well, listen...I mean those used to get big laughs in the old days, you know?... 690 00:36:21,679 --> 00:36:24,390 That's what it is...old jokes, you know... 691 00:36:24,473 --> 00:36:28,769 Why don't I get a stool, sit down, we'll talk a little bit...we'll rap and don't go away. 692 00:36:28,853 --> 00:36:29,395 I'll be right back. 693 00:36:30,813 --> 00:36:33,232 Thank you... 694 00:36:35,026 --> 00:36:37,278 Things have changed. 695 00:36:37,361 --> 00:36:40,656 Let's talk a little bit about the generation gap... 696 00:36:40,740 --> 00:36:42,783 And I'm here to make it wider. 697 00:36:59,550 --> 00:37:02,136 JULIE: He once did my father a favor. 698 00:37:02,219 --> 00:37:03,471 GOPHER: I know what the favor was. 699 00:37:03,554 --> 00:37:07,725 He didn't make him sit through the act. 700 00:37:08,726 --> 00:37:11,520 Sorry. 701 00:37:11,604 --> 00:37:13,648 JULIE: No, you're right. 702 00:37:13,731 --> 00:37:17,318 I never should have put him on. 703 00:37:17,401 --> 00:37:23,157 I never should have let my personal feelings get in the way of doing my job... 704 00:37:23,240 --> 00:37:24,825 That was a big mistake. 705 00:37:24,909 --> 00:37:26,994 GOPHER: True. 706 00:37:27,078 --> 00:37:30,331 But come on, Julie, don't take it so hard. 707 00:37:30,414 --> 00:37:33,709 You know I bet you in a couple of years time you'll look back on this whole thing and laugh. 708 00:37:33,793 --> 00:37:34,835 JULIE: I don't think so. 709 00:37:34,919 --> 00:37:36,504 GOPHER: I bet you will. 710 00:37:36,587 --> 00:37:38,172 JULIE: Maybe in ten years. 711 00:37:38,255 --> 00:37:41,884 GOPHER: At least. 712 00:37:41,968 --> 00:37:45,513 JULIE: Well, I am responsible... 713 00:37:45,596 --> 00:37:56,065 I'm gonna go back there and take it like everybody else. 714 00:37:56,148 --> 00:37:57,984 GOPHER: What everybody else? 715 00:38:02,279 --> 00:38:03,030 BARRY: Thank you. 716 00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:04,573 Thank you. 717 00:38:04,657 --> 00:38:08,661 And the names they give kids today...A lot different than it was in my day. 718 00:38:08,744 --> 00:38:12,248 My day had names like Tom, Dick, Harry and Charlie, Mike. 719 00:38:12,331 --> 00:38:15,793 You know...today you go to the park you hear mothers say names like... 720 00:38:15,876 --> 00:38:19,088 Michael Jeffrey...or 721 00:38:19,171 --> 00:38:20,840 Lafayette... 722 00:38:20,923 --> 00:38:22,341 That's a first name. 723 00:38:22,425 --> 00:38:27,221 Grandmother says Lafayette over there. 724 00:38:27,304 --> 00:38:30,057 I'll tell you kids born today are a little bit different. 725 00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:31,392 Let's face it. 726 00:38:31,475 --> 00:38:34,395 Most kids born today have no spines... 727 00:38:34,478 --> 00:38:35,896 Think I'm jokin', huh? 728 00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:37,106 Go to any corner... 729 00:38:37,189 --> 00:38:39,442 this is how they stand...Hey... 730 00:38:39,525 --> 00:38:44,071 Hey, hey... 731 00:38:44,155 --> 00:38:51,746 And another thing...when we used to take out girls, we didn't go home after we took the girl home. 732 00:38:51,829 --> 00:38:55,249 We had to go back to the corner in the old days... 733 00:38:55,332 --> 00:38:59,587 no matter what time, you went back to the corner 'cause you had to give a report... 734 00:38:59,670 --> 00:39:02,465 They had to find out how you made out... 735 00:39:02,548 --> 00:39:06,969 Get to the corner there'd be a lot of guys doin' somethin' like this to you... 736 00:39:07,053 --> 00:39:12,099 and you go... 737 00:39:12,183 --> 00:39:16,520 Or we know you lied... 738 00:39:21,692 --> 00:39:24,111 Ah, listen, I want to thank you very much. 739 00:39:24,195 --> 00:39:29,033 You've been a most wonderful audience and I am a little tired and I'm not lyin'. 740 00:39:29,116 --> 00:39:32,161 Good night. 741 00:39:44,256 --> 00:39:45,716 ISAAC: Fantastic, Barry. 742 00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:46,467 Fantastic. 743 00:39:46,550 --> 00:39:47,635 JULIE: Congratulations, Barry. 744 00:39:47,718 --> 00:39:49,303 You were terrific. 745 00:39:49,386 --> 00:39:50,304 BARRY: I was...I was good? 746 00:39:50,387 --> 00:39:50,763 Right? 747 00:39:50,846 --> 00:39:51,806 JULIE: Yeah. 748 00:39:51,889 --> 00:39:53,557 FREDDIE: Barry Keith, where have you been hiding? 749 00:39:53,641 --> 00:39:54,391 BARRY: Huh? 750 00:39:54,475 --> 00:39:56,143 FREDDIE: I've got plans for you, pal. 751 00:39:56,227 --> 00:39:57,478 Come on, we've got to talk. 752 00:39:57,561 --> 00:39:59,438 We'll start with some small clubs. 753 00:39:59,522 --> 00:40:01,941 Maybe in a couple of months Las Vegas, T.V., you know. 754 00:40:02,024 --> 00:40:03,943 BARRY: Later...later, okay? 755 00:40:04,026 --> 00:40:06,362 FREDDIE: Look, this is important. 756 00:40:06,445 --> 00:40:08,072 BARRY: This is more important. 757 00:40:08,155 --> 00:40:09,198 I'll see you later. 758 00:40:11,408 --> 00:40:13,160 Julie, can you ever forgive me? 759 00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:15,246 JULIE: Oh... 760 00:40:15,329 --> 00:40:16,330 BARRY: But when you've been in the spotlight all your life and 761 00:40:16,413 --> 00:40:18,624 suddenly they begin to ignore you...you panic... 762 00:40:20,584 --> 00:40:23,003 You'd do anything to get their attention. 763 00:40:23,087 --> 00:40:25,339 Anything to get them on top again. 764 00:40:27,299 --> 00:40:31,512 But if it means losing the respect of a decent girl like yourself... 765 00:40:31,595 --> 00:40:33,848 then this time the price is too high. 766 00:40:35,808 --> 00:40:39,728 JULIE: Barry...it pains me to say this, but... 767 00:40:39,812 --> 00:40:42,439 BARRY: You still hate me? 768 00:40:42,523 --> 00:40:44,817 JULIE: You're standin' on my foot... 769 00:40:48,279 --> 00:40:50,990 You were terrific. 770 00:40:59,123 --> 00:41:00,541 DOC: Hold on. 771 00:41:00,624 --> 00:41:04,378 SHIRLEY: Doc, I'm sorry to bother you this late. 772 00:41:04,461 --> 00:41:06,046 DOC: Shirley, you cute thing. 773 00:41:06,130 --> 00:41:08,549 At last you see things my way. 774 00:41:08,632 --> 00:41:11,218 SHIRLEY: Doc, have you ever been in love? 775 00:41:11,302 --> 00:41:14,096 DOC: Oh, at least once during every cruise. 776 00:41:14,180 --> 00:41:18,267 SHIRLEY: Oh...You see with Dave and me....it's the real thing. 777 00:41:21,103 --> 00:41:24,815 DOC: Aha...well, why didn't you tell me? 778 00:41:24,899 --> 00:41:26,525 SHIRLEY: I tried. 779 00:41:26,609 --> 00:41:30,237 But this whole thing mushroomed and now my grandmother is set on the idea of you and me. 780 00:41:30,321 --> 00:41:32,364 DOC: I am quite a catch. 781 00:41:32,448 --> 00:41:35,868 Why don't you just tell your grandmother what you told me? 782 00:41:35,951 --> 00:41:39,705 SHIRLEY: I don't know how to do that without hurting her feelings... 783 00:41:39,788 --> 00:41:41,916 She's an old lady. 784 00:41:41,999 --> 00:41:44,627 She's been both mother and father to me. 785 00:41:44,710 --> 00:41:48,297 She has such high hopes for my future...I'm all she has. 786 00:41:48,380 --> 00:41:50,966 DOC: And you're scared to mess with her. 787 00:41:51,050 --> 00:41:54,094 SHIRLEY: Right...Oh, I'd never hear the end of it... 788 00:41:54,178 --> 00:41:58,140 How she found me this terrific doctor and I turned him down. 789 00:41:58,224 --> 00:42:00,434 DOC: Well, maybe she just doesn't know me well enough. 790 00:42:00,518 --> 00:42:02,061 SHIRLEY: What do you mean? 791 00:42:02,144 --> 00:42:06,232 DOC: Shirley, ask your grandmother to be here in my office about three tomorrow. 792 00:42:06,315 --> 00:42:08,984 I might just be able to turn her around. 793 00:42:09,068 --> 00:42:11,987 SHIRLEY: Oh, doc, I thank you...Dave thanks you. 794 00:42:12,071 --> 00:42:13,447 DOC: Yeah. 795 00:42:13,530 --> 00:42:16,784 Well, I'm a poor loser, Shirley, so don't come to me for your Wasserman. 796 00:42:28,545 --> 00:42:33,467 GRAM: Oh, what a dream, this beautiful corsage from the doctor... 797 00:42:33,550 --> 00:42:38,305 and asking us to be here, because he has something important to say. 798 00:42:38,389 --> 00:42:41,725 Thank you, thank you big matchmaker up in the sky. 799 00:42:43,727 --> 00:42:46,313 I always wanted a doctor in the family. 800 00:42:46,397 --> 00:42:47,815 And what a practice. 801 00:42:47,898 --> 00:42:50,943 People come to him from all over the ship. 802 00:42:53,195 --> 00:42:55,155 DOC: [SINGING]So set 'em up Joe. 803 00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:57,908 I heard a lot of stories... 804 00:43:00,911 --> 00:43:03,706 GRAM: Oh my lord. 805 00:43:07,418 --> 00:43:09,795 DOC: All ready to operate, nurse 806 00:43:11,755 --> 00:43:13,173 Take off your uniform. 807 00:43:13,257 --> 00:43:14,675 GRAM: Get your hands off of her! 808 00:43:14,758 --> 00:43:16,510 SHIRLEY: Oh, it's alright, Grandma, we're almost engaged. 809 00:43:16,593 --> 00:43:18,387 GRAM: Over my dead body. 810 00:43:18,470 --> 00:43:21,307 Leave her alone, you degenerate... 811 00:43:23,475 --> 00:43:27,021 Oh, how did I ever get into this... 812 00:43:32,276 --> 00:43:34,737 I am a stupid, old, meddling fool. 813 00:43:37,948 --> 00:43:39,825 SHIRLEY: That's right. 814 00:43:42,953 --> 00:43:46,123 You're also a wonderful person and I love you very much. 815 00:43:47,374 --> 00:43:50,502 Doc was just putting on an act for you because... 816 00:43:50,586 --> 00:43:54,340 I didn't have the guts to tell you...that I'm in love with Dave. 817 00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:57,343 GRAM: I see. 818 00:43:57,426 --> 00:43:58,844 SHIRLEY: Do you, Gram? 819 00:43:58,927 --> 00:44:01,263 You always look at the surface of everything. 820 00:44:01,347 --> 00:44:04,600 Do you think that a man is a better human being just because he's a doctor? 821 00:44:04,683 --> 00:44:06,435 DOC: I always thought so. 822 00:44:06,518 --> 00:44:09,772 SHIRLEY: Gram, Dave is a wonderful guy, we have everything in common. 823 00:44:10,773 --> 00:44:13,025 I think we can make a go of it. 824 00:44:17,738 --> 00:44:20,115 GRAM: Then what are you waiting for? 825 00:44:20,199 --> 00:44:23,952 Let's go find him before he throws you over for some nobody. 826 00:44:24,036 --> 00:44:27,081 SHIRLEY: Ah, thanks, Gram. 827 00:44:27,164 --> 00:44:32,961 GRAM: And I promise you from now on I will stay out of your affairs. 828 00:44:41,845 --> 00:44:44,765 DANNY: We're gonna be docking in San Pedro in about half hour. 829 00:44:47,184 --> 00:44:48,894 BARBARA: I wish we'd met earlier. 830 00:45:00,114 --> 00:45:02,282 Um... 831 00:45:02,366 --> 00:45:09,456 I have to go see the purser and everyone's gonna be hangin' around when we dock, so why don't we say goodbye now? 832 00:45:09,540 --> 00:45:16,171 DANNY: Okay...goodbye and...hello. 833 00:45:33,021 --> 00:45:34,773 ANGLE PAUL: Hey, Hey, where've you been? 834 00:45:34,857 --> 00:45:37,276 We've been lookin' all over for you. 835 00:45:37,359 --> 00:45:39,236 DANNY: I was just sayin' goodbye to somebody. 836 00:45:39,319 --> 00:45:42,865 CARL: And does that somebody have anything to do with the towel hung on your door last night? 837 00:45:42,948 --> 00:45:44,158 DANNY: Towel? 838 00:45:44,241 --> 00:45:46,952 On my door, huh? 839 00:45:47,035 --> 00:45:51,540 CARL: Ah, does that smile look like the smile of a lover? 840 00:45:51,623 --> 00:45:53,834 PAUL: Yes, ladies and gentlemen it does. 841 00:45:53,917 --> 00:45:55,043 CARL: Who was she, Romeo? 842 00:45:55,127 --> 00:45:55,627 PAUL: A name. 843 00:45:55,711 --> 00:45:56,503 We gotta have a name? 844 00:45:56,587 --> 00:45:59,006 Half the ship's money is riding on this. 845 00:45:59,089 --> 00:46:00,507 CARL: Was she a real dog? 846 00:46:00,591 --> 00:46:01,175 Huh? 847 00:46:01,258 --> 00:46:02,843 Bow-wow city, real mercy case. 848 00:46:02,926 --> 00:46:04,344 Let's have a name. 849 00:46:04,428 --> 00:46:06,889 DANNY: I...I don't know her name. 850 00:46:06,972 --> 00:46:07,681 PAUL: No name. 851 00:46:07,764 --> 00:46:08,849 No proof. 852 00:46:08,932 --> 00:46:11,143 CARL: Come on, I tell you about all my bimbos, don't I? 853 00:46:11,226 --> 00:46:12,060 DANNY: She wasn't a bimbo. 854 00:46:12,144 --> 00:46:12,561 CARL: Oh, great. 855 00:46:12,644 --> 00:46:13,103 Okay. 856 00:46:13,187 --> 00:46:13,645 So it's true love.3 857 00:46:13,729 --> 00:46:14,104 So what's her name? 858 00:46:14,188 --> 00:46:16,732 BARBARA: Danny! 859 00:46:16,815 --> 00:46:18,400 See ya! 860 00:46:18,484 --> 00:46:19,526 DANNY: See ya. 861 00:46:19,610 --> 00:46:22,029 PAUL: That's her, isn't it? 862 00:46:22,112 --> 00:46:26,033 DANNY: Her no...no... 863 00:46:26,116 --> 00:46:28,827 look, I...there wasn't any... 864 00:46:28,911 --> 00:46:30,829 wasn't anybody... 865 00:46:30,913 --> 00:46:33,540 There wasn't any girl... 866 00:46:33,624 --> 00:46:34,166 I made it up. 867 00:46:34,249 --> 00:46:34,708 CARL: Phew...Right. 868 00:46:34,791 --> 00:46:36,877 Let's go get our bundle. 869 00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:39,087 PAUL: Pick up our money before they leave the ship. 870 00:46:42,299 --> 00:46:48,388 CARL: Danny if that was no girl...who was that? 871 00:46:51,308 --> 00:46:55,812 DANNY: Just somebody who sits behind me in chemistry class... 872 00:47:00,651 --> 00:47:01,777 I gotta go get my stuff together. 873 00:47:31,848 --> 00:47:34,935 FREDDIE: Barry...Barry, if you don't call me in the morning, 874 00:47:35,018 --> 00:47:35,769 I'll be camping outside your doorstep. 875 00:47:35,852 --> 00:47:36,436 BARRY: Wonderful. 876 00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:39,773 I live on the fifteen floor... 877 00:47:39,856 --> 00:47:41,984 Well, folks that's it...gotta cut out now. 878 00:47:42,067 --> 00:47:43,360 Thanks for everything. 879 00:47:43,443 --> 00:47:45,487 JULIE: I'm glad I caught you before you left. 880 00:47:45,571 --> 00:47:47,281 Bye bye, Barry. 881 00:47:47,364 --> 00:47:48,865 BARRY: Bye, bye, Julie. 882 00:47:48,949 --> 00:47:54,079 Listen...you tell your father for me he's got a great, beautiful daughter... 883 00:47:55,539 --> 00:47:59,626 You do have a sister, haven't you? 884 00:47:59,710 --> 00:48:00,794 JULIE: Bye bye. 885 00:48:10,721 --> 00:48:13,932 BARBARA: Hey, Danny!!! 886 00:48:22,899 --> 00:48:24,985 GRAM: A wonderful voyage. 887 00:48:25,068 --> 00:48:31,366 I have a hat...a pair of leather sandals and a potential member of the family. 888 00:48:31,450 --> 00:48:33,660 SHIRLEY: Now, Gram, you promised not to rush things. 889 00:48:33,744 --> 00:48:35,829 Dave hasn't even asked me to marry him yet. 890 00:48:35,913 --> 00:48:38,498 DAVE: And I may not, at least for a couple of weeks yet. 891 00:48:38,582 --> 00:48:42,836 DOC: I just want to say adios and warn you about the drinking water in L.A. 892 00:48:42,919 --> 00:48:45,172 and wish you two a lot of luck. 893 00:48:45,255 --> 00:48:48,800 GRAM: Which they're going to need with a grandmother like me around. 894 00:48:48,884 --> 00:48:52,346 DAVE: Mrs.Warner, I hope you're around for a long, long time. 895 00:48:52,429 --> 00:48:54,014 Hey, Doc, thanks for everything. 896 00:48:54,097 --> 00:48:55,098 SHIRLEY: Goodbye, Doc. 897 00:48:55,182 --> 00:49:00,854 GRAM: Yeah...well...I wasn't so far off base. 898 00:49:00,937 --> 00:49:04,358 You're a nice person, you're a terrible actor, but a nice person. 899 00:49:04,441 --> 00:49:07,319 How would you like to meet my niece? 900 00:49:07,402 --> 00:49:11,865 She has a pleasing personality, she can type... 901 00:49:11,948 --> 00:49:13,367 SHIRLEY: Come on, Gram! 902 00:49:13,450 --> 00:49:16,578 GRAM: ...and her meatloaf is a joy to the palate. 903 00:49:16,662 --> 00:49:20,666 Oh, and...and she's a former Miss Illinois. 904 00:49:22,125 --> 00:49:24,169 DOC: Did you say meatloaf?!! 68193

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