All language subtitles for Malcolm in the Middle (2000) - S02E16 - Traffic Ticket (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Silence)-eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,524 --> 00:00:09,147 Here are the house rules: 2 00:00:09,181 --> 00:00:10,217 You can't reach for seconds 3 00:00:10,251 --> 00:00:11,804 until you're finished with your first, 4 00:00:11,839 --> 00:00:13,013 but as soon as anybody's fork 5 00:00:13,047 --> 00:00:14,462 leaves the perimeter of their plate, 6 00:00:14,497 --> 00:00:15,843 all bets are off. 7 00:00:37,278 --> 00:00:39,039 It's mine! 8 00:00:39,763 --> 00:00:43,077 ♪ Yes, no, maybe 9 00:00:43,112 --> 00:00:45,252 ♪ I don't know 10 00:00:45,286 --> 00:00:48,565 ♪ Can you repeat the question? 11 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:50,740 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 12 00:00:50,774 --> 00:00:53,087 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 13 00:00:53,122 --> 00:00:54,606 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 14 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,712 ♪ And you're not so big 15 00:00:57,747 --> 00:00:59,921 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 16 00:00:59,956 --> 00:01:02,096 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 17 00:01:02,131 --> 00:01:04,685 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 18 00:01:04,718 --> 00:01:07,446 ♪ And you're not so big 19 00:01:07,481 --> 00:01:11,071 ♪ Life is unfair. 20 00:01:16,145 --> 00:01:17,629 You're all set, Mrs. Gunderberg. 21 00:01:17,663 --> 00:01:19,631 Remember, this is the one you take orally. 22 00:01:19,665 --> 00:01:21,115 REESE: I can do what I want, because I'm older! 23 00:01:21,150 --> 00:01:22,703 DEWEY: Stop pushing me! Ow!MALCOLM: Shut up, Dewey! 24 00:01:22,737 --> 00:01:23,635 REESE: Stop touching me!MALCOLM: I was not! 25 00:01:23,669 --> 00:01:24,981 Yes, you were!Stop it! 26 00:01:25,015 --> 00:01:26,638 Hey, guys. My shift is over in five minutes. 27 00:01:26,672 --> 00:01:28,122 Then we head over to the barber college. 28 00:01:28,157 --> 00:01:29,917 Why can't we go to a real barber? 29 00:01:29,951 --> 00:01:31,505 Because I like to support education. 30 00:01:31,539 --> 00:01:32,989 Besides, it's free. 31 00:01:33,023 --> 00:01:36,061 Are they going to take my hair and plant an evil Dewey? 32 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,236 Honey, we've already had this talk. 33 00:01:38,270 --> 00:01:41,239 Every word that comes out of Reese's mouth 34 00:01:41,273 --> 00:01:42,999 is a lie, remember? 35 00:01:43,033 --> 00:01:45,001 Ah!Okay, go look at some magazines. 36 00:01:45,035 --> 00:01:48,453 And anything you break comes out of your allowance. 37 00:01:48,487 --> 00:01:49,833 REESE: We don't get an allowance. 38 00:01:49,868 --> 00:01:50,972 Yeah, now you know why. 39 00:01:51,007 --> 00:01:52,629 I'm going to ask the barber 40 00:01:52,664 --> 00:01:54,666 to shave this side totally off 41 00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:56,599 and leave the other side long. 42 00:01:56,633 --> 00:01:58,739 You know, a style for each profile. 43 00:01:58,773 --> 00:02:01,190 A different look for both my moods. 44 00:02:04,365 --> 00:02:05,849 How's it going? Not bad. 45 00:02:05,884 --> 00:02:08,437 In five minutes I get my soul back for the night. And you? 46 00:02:08,473 --> 00:02:09,473 Can't complain. 47 00:02:09,508 --> 00:02:12,304 That's $6.24. 48 00:02:12,339 --> 00:02:15,342 I-I'm... I'm sorry. What? 49 00:02:15,376 --> 00:02:18,138 Your total is $6.24. 50 00:02:19,691 --> 00:02:21,451 Uh, is there a problem? 51 00:02:21,486 --> 00:02:24,005 No, it's just that, uh... 52 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:25,835 your assistant manager and I 53 00:02:25,869 --> 00:02:27,423 we have an arrangement. 54 00:02:27,457 --> 00:02:30,184 I wouldn't know anything about that. 55 00:02:31,461 --> 00:02:33,946 I've only got $3.00. 56 00:02:33,981 --> 00:02:35,983 Well, you can put back the magazine. 57 00:02:36,017 --> 00:02:41,471 Lois, Lois... I give Officer Stockton a discount. 58 00:02:41,506 --> 00:02:42,645 You know, policeman's discount? 59 00:02:42,679 --> 00:02:43,784 : 100% off? 60 00:02:43,818 --> 00:02:45,026 Craig, I can't do that. 61 00:02:45,061 --> 00:02:46,200 But, Lois... 62 00:02:46,235 --> 00:02:48,202 Don't worry about it. It's okay, Greg. 63 00:02:48,237 --> 00:02:50,446 It's "Craig." 64 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:51,619 What are you, crazy? 65 00:02:51,654 --> 00:02:53,069 Don't you know how this works? 66 00:02:53,103 --> 00:02:55,830 We scratch his back, he scratches ours? 67 00:02:55,865 --> 00:02:56,900 We give him a few candy bars, 68 00:02:56,935 --> 00:02:57,970 he looks out for us. 69 00:02:58,005 --> 00:02:59,213 It's called protection. 70 00:02:59,248 --> 00:03:01,560 Craig, we have been robbed five times 71 00:03:01,595 --> 00:03:03,010 in the last six months. 72 00:03:03,044 --> 00:03:06,358 Lois, think of all the places he gets free stuff from. 73 00:03:06,393 --> 00:03:08,395 He can't be everywhere at once. 74 00:03:14,573 --> 00:03:16,161 Mom, seriously, I'm not letting that kid 75 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,577 with two fingers cut my hair again. 76 00:03:18,612 --> 00:03:20,648 That's all you need to use scissors. 77 00:03:20,683 --> 00:03:21,925 And you be polite. 78 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,721 Those people are nervous enough as it is. 79 00:03:24,756 --> 00:03:27,276 Oh, what? 80 00:03:27,310 --> 00:03:28,725 I didn't do anything! 81 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:29,692 Make a run for it, Mom. 82 00:03:29,726 --> 00:03:30,865 We can be on the news. 83 00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:32,384 All right, you boys, not a word out of any of you. 84 00:03:32,419 --> 00:03:35,180 No one makes piggy sounds, no one says they smell bacon, 85 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,217 and no one claims to be kidnapped. 86 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,599 You? 87 00:03:40,634 --> 00:03:42,532 License and registration, please. 88 00:03:42,567 --> 00:03:43,671 What's this all about? 89 00:03:43,706 --> 00:03:44,707 You impeded traffic. 90 00:03:44,741 --> 00:03:46,536 When you pulled out, that Volkswagen 91 00:03:46,571 --> 00:03:47,503 had to slam on its brakes. 92 00:03:47,537 --> 00:03:48,435 What Volkswagen? 93 00:03:48,469 --> 00:03:50,506 I looked over to my left when I pulled out. 94 00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:51,438 There was no car. 95 00:03:51,472 --> 00:03:54,234 License and registration, ma'am. 96 00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:55,338 All right. 97 00:03:55,373 --> 00:03:57,409 Don't think I don't know what this is all about. 98 00:03:57,444 --> 00:03:59,549 It's 'cause I made you pay for that ice tea. 99 00:03:59,584 --> 00:04:01,482 Oh, was that you? 100 00:04:03,001 --> 00:04:05,072 Now, you just sit tight. 101 00:04:05,106 --> 00:04:07,454 I got to do some paperwork, run a computer check. 102 00:04:07,488 --> 00:04:08,627 It may take a little while. 103 00:04:08,662 --> 00:04:09,904 The computer's kind of slow. 104 00:04:09,939 --> 00:04:11,285 Yeah, well, knock yourself out. 105 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:12,907 My record is clean. 106 00:04:12,942 --> 00:04:16,394 There is no way I have 16 unpaid parking tickets. 107 00:04:16,428 --> 00:04:17,947 The computer's wrong! 108 00:04:17,981 --> 00:04:20,880 You are not getting away with this! 109 00:04:22,089 --> 00:04:23,987 Hey, Mom, is this a bad time to tell you 110 00:04:24,022 --> 00:04:25,989 I got kicked out out of shop class? 111 00:04:26,024 --> 00:04:27,784 I mean, it seems to pale in comparison. 112 00:04:27,819 --> 00:04:28,889 CRAIG: Chin up, Lois. 113 00:04:28,923 --> 00:04:30,856 I'll make sure the boys get home. 114 00:04:30,891 --> 00:04:32,720 I'll wait for you. 115 00:04:32,755 --> 00:04:35,171 I want you boys to behave for Craig. 116 00:04:35,205 --> 00:04:37,725 And, Dewey, don't be frightened. 117 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:38,933 Mama's going to be okay. 118 00:04:38,968 --> 00:04:40,383 Can you turn on your siren? 119 00:04:40,418 --> 00:04:41,971 Sure. 120 00:04:42,005 --> 00:04:43,490 Yay! 121 00:04:48,978 --> 00:04:50,082 Come on, honey. 122 00:04:50,117 --> 00:04:52,982 You got to admit it was kind of sexy-- 123 00:04:53,016 --> 00:04:55,467 me having to bail you out of jail. 124 00:04:56,606 --> 00:04:58,194 Well, it was sexy for me. 125 00:04:58,228 --> 00:04:59,920 Oh, yeah, Hal, it was a real turn-on 126 00:04:59,954 --> 00:05:02,163 sitting there wondering how my children were doing, 127 00:05:02,198 --> 00:05:04,407 what horrible things are going through their heads 128 00:05:04,442 --> 00:05:06,651 knowing that their mother is sitting in jail. 129 00:05:06,685 --> 00:05:09,101 Hey, Mom, did you get tattooed? 130 00:05:09,136 --> 00:05:10,275 I don't understand. 131 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,760 How could we get 16 parking tickets 132 00:05:12,795 --> 00:05:14,762 and not even know about it? 133 00:05:14,797 --> 00:05:16,764 Mom, just calm down! 134 00:05:16,799 --> 00:05:18,490 I was in jail, Francis! Jail! 135 00:05:18,525 --> 00:05:21,838 All because you didn't pay your parking tickets! 136 00:05:21,873 --> 00:05:25,117 How could you have gotten 16 parking tickets?! 137 00:05:25,152 --> 00:05:26,878 It's not my fault. You keep me stuck here. 138 00:05:26,912 --> 00:05:28,880 When I come home, I have so much living to do, 139 00:05:28,914 --> 00:05:30,640 I don't have time to look for legal parking. 140 00:05:30,675 --> 00:05:33,781 You listen, mister-- your irresponsible behavior 141 00:05:33,816 --> 00:05:35,265 has finally caught up with you, 142 00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:37,958 and you are going to suffer the consequences! 143 00:05:37,992 --> 00:05:39,994 You are paying those parking tickets! 144 00:05:40,029 --> 00:05:42,065 You know, Mom, jail has really hardened you. 145 00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:44,274 I'm serious, Francis, you are paying us back 146 00:05:44,309 --> 00:05:45,862 that money for those tickets 147 00:05:45,897 --> 00:05:48,037 plus $145 to get the car out of impound. 148 00:05:48,071 --> 00:05:51,661 That means you owe us $747.13. 149 00:05:51,696 --> 00:05:53,042 This is totally unfair! 150 00:05:53,076 --> 00:05:54,975 None of this would have happened 151 00:05:55,009 --> 00:05:56,977 if you weren't such a reckless driver. 152 00:05:57,011 --> 00:05:58,323 Excuse me? 153 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,049 When I parked too close to a mailbox, 154 00:06:00,083 --> 00:06:01,671 I didn't endanger anybody's life. 155 00:06:01,706 --> 00:06:02,983 I didn't endanger anyone. 156 00:06:03,017 --> 00:06:04,950 I was pulled over by a corrupt cop 157 00:06:04,985 --> 00:06:07,470 for a traffic violation that I didn't commit. 158 00:06:07,505 --> 00:06:10,231 Oh, but when I tell you I've been framed by the police, 159 00:06:10,266 --> 00:06:11,750 you send me to military school. 160 00:06:11,785 --> 00:06:12,820 Ironic, isn't it? 161 00:06:12,855 --> 00:06:14,063 That cop was out to get me. 162 00:06:14,097 --> 00:06:15,029 Of course he was. 163 00:06:15,064 --> 00:06:16,134 Everyone's out to get you. 164 00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:17,825 And the neighbor's cat's the ringleader. 165 00:06:17,860 --> 00:06:18,757 Didn't you know that? 166 00:06:18,792 --> 00:06:21,657 Ha-ha, you can laugh all you want, Francis, 167 00:06:21,691 --> 00:06:24,004 but until you come up with the money, 168 00:06:24,038 --> 00:06:25,108 you are not coming home. 169 00:06:25,143 --> 00:06:27,214 Where am I supposed to get $700? 170 00:06:27,248 --> 00:06:30,493 You're just using this as an excuse to keep me here. 171 00:06:30,528 --> 00:06:33,565 Yeah, that's right. It was the cat's idea. 172 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:34,532 Mom, there's no way 173 00:06:34,566 --> 00:06:36,741 Francis can come up with that kind of money. 174 00:06:37,845 --> 00:06:40,779 Which is what he should have thought of 175 00:06:40,814 --> 00:06:43,610 before he did that bad, bad thing. 176 00:06:43,644 --> 00:06:45,025 Honey, don't worry about a thing. 177 00:06:45,059 --> 00:06:47,096 Everything's going to be fine. 178 00:06:47,130 --> 00:06:48,546 Francis will think of something. 179 00:06:48,580 --> 00:06:51,134 I hear they've made traffic school really fun. 180 00:06:51,169 --> 00:06:52,929 They have cooking traffic school, 181 00:06:52,964 --> 00:06:54,103 bowling traffic school. 182 00:06:54,137 --> 00:06:55,898 Remember when I took that comedy traffic school? 183 00:06:55,932 --> 00:06:57,693 I mean, God, that was hilarious. 184 00:06:57,727 --> 00:07:00,868 A rabbi, a priest and a minister come to a four-way stop... 185 00:07:00,903 --> 00:07:02,801 I am not taking traffic school. 186 00:07:03,906 --> 00:07:05,079 Honey, if you don't take traffic school, 187 00:07:05,114 --> 00:07:06,426 you'll get a point on your license. 188 00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:08,117 I'm not getting a point on my license 189 00:07:08,151 --> 00:07:09,498 because I'm taking this to court. 190 00:07:09,532 --> 00:07:10,878 I did nothing wrong 191 00:07:10,913 --> 00:07:13,225 and I've got three eyewitnesses to prove it. 192 00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:15,158 They saw exactly what happened. 193 00:07:17,091 --> 00:07:18,783 Blah, blah, blah. 194 00:07:18,817 --> 00:07:22,511 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 195 00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:29,034 Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack. 196 00:07:29,069 --> 00:07:31,727 Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack. 197 00:07:33,211 --> 00:07:35,593 Dewey, Dewey, Dewey, Dewey, Dewey, Dewey 198 00:07:35,627 --> 00:07:38,354 Dewey, Dewey, Dewey, Dewey, Dewey, Dewey. 199 00:07:38,388 --> 00:07:39,700 Exactly what you said, Mom. 200 00:07:39,735 --> 00:07:40,908 You're right, Mom.Right. 201 00:07:40,943 --> 00:07:43,152 See, Hal, it's a clear case of entrapment. 202 00:07:43,186 --> 00:07:45,154 The cop doesn't get his free ice tea 203 00:07:45,188 --> 00:07:47,087 so he trumps up a cockamamy ticket. 204 00:07:47,121 --> 00:07:48,329 Well, we're going to fight this. 205 00:07:48,364 --> 00:07:50,159 Well, honey, let's think about this a second. 206 00:07:50,193 --> 00:07:52,299 You know it's going to be your word against his, 207 00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:54,266 and judges usually side with the police. 208 00:07:54,301 --> 00:07:55,509 Yeah, that's what he's counting on. 209 00:07:55,544 --> 00:07:57,787 That's why he thinks he can get away with lying. 210 00:07:57,822 --> 00:07:59,030 Well, I'm not going to let him 211 00:07:59,064 --> 00:08:00,100 'cause I know I'm right. 212 00:08:00,134 --> 00:08:00,997 I know that, honey, 213 00:08:01,032 --> 00:08:02,723 but what if something does go wrong? 214 00:08:02,758 --> 00:08:03,931 I mean, I'm not sure 215 00:08:03,966 --> 00:08:06,037 we can afford the bump in the insurance. 216 00:08:06,071 --> 00:08:07,176 I am not going to lose. 217 00:08:07,210 --> 00:08:09,696 I'm in the right and I'll find a way to prove it. 218 00:08:09,730 --> 00:08:13,285 Okay, okay, if that's what you want to do. 219 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,633 You have our total support. 220 00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:18,636 Just remember, Mom, in a world of lies, 221 00:08:18,670 --> 00:08:20,707 truth is your only weapon. 222 00:08:22,778 --> 00:08:24,711 What? It's not? 223 00:08:24,745 --> 00:08:26,575 Thank you. 224 00:08:29,992 --> 00:08:31,062 Howdy, ma'am. 225 00:08:31,096 --> 00:08:31,994 How was jail? 226 00:08:32,028 --> 00:08:33,167 Fine, thank you. 227 00:08:33,202 --> 00:08:36,895 Shouldn't you be out planting drugs on someone? 228 00:08:36,929 --> 00:08:39,139 Yes, I was planning to go do that 229 00:08:39,173 --> 00:08:42,280 right after I pay full price for my ice tea. 230 00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:44,593 I'm fighting the ticket, you know. 231 00:08:44,627 --> 00:08:47,561 Well, then, I look forward to seeing you in court. 232 00:08:47,596 --> 00:08:48,976 Drive safely... 233 00:08:49,011 --> 00:08:51,703 whenever you get your car back. 234 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:59,090 There is no way that cop could have seen me pull out. 235 00:09:00,470 --> 00:09:01,748 Yeah? 236 00:09:01,782 --> 00:09:03,163 Mom, great news. 237 00:09:03,197 --> 00:09:04,544 Francis, I'm a little busy here. 238 00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:05,648 Okay, here it is. 239 00:09:05,683 --> 00:09:08,444 I just sent you $20 good-faith money... 240 00:09:08,478 --> 00:09:11,654 Great. Only $727 more before you can come home. 241 00:09:11,689 --> 00:09:12,690 What? 242 00:09:12,724 --> 00:09:14,174 Francis, I am not going to let you weasel out 243 00:09:14,208 --> 00:09:15,382 of your responsibility. 244 00:09:15,416 --> 00:09:16,866 Because of you, we are down to one car 245 00:09:16,901 --> 00:09:18,109 until your father's next paycheck. 246 00:09:18,143 --> 00:09:19,351 Now, you either come up with the money 247 00:09:19,386 --> 00:09:20,456 or you don't come home. 248 00:09:20,490 --> 00:09:22,423 Mom, it's impossible. I'm in school. 249 00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:24,391 When I'm not in school, I have homework. 250 00:09:24,425 --> 00:09:26,669 When I'm not doing homework, I'm in detention. 251 00:09:26,704 --> 00:09:29,189 If I'm lucky, I have six hours free a week. 252 00:09:29,223 --> 00:09:30,673 At minimum wage 253 00:09:30,708 --> 00:09:33,849 I wouldn't be able to make it home until Thanksgiving 2010. 254 00:09:33,883 --> 00:09:34,884 You bring the yams. 255 00:09:41,166 --> 00:09:43,375 He'll find the money. 256 00:09:43,410 --> 00:09:46,378 Hey, do you know where Craig is? 257 00:09:46,413 --> 00:09:47,897 Your assistant manager? 258 00:09:47,932 --> 00:09:49,727 Big guy, smells like cabbage? 259 00:09:49,761 --> 00:09:51,591 Thanks. 260 00:09:53,006 --> 00:09:54,870 Uh-uh, it's not there. 261 00:09:54,904 --> 00:09:56,526 Keep looking... 262 00:09:56,561 --> 00:09:57,666 Lower... 263 00:09:58,874 --> 00:10:01,635 Craig, Mom said you can give me a ride to study group. 264 00:10:01,670 --> 00:10:03,810 Sure, sure. 265 00:10:03,844 --> 00:10:05,466 What are you doing? 266 00:10:05,501 --> 00:10:08,228 I was, uh, uh, reviewing some old security tapes. 267 00:10:08,262 --> 00:10:10,092 You know, looking for a pattern. 268 00:10:10,126 --> 00:10:12,094 See if anyone was casing the joint. 269 00:10:12,128 --> 00:10:13,440 You can't be too careful. 270 00:10:13,474 --> 00:10:15,649 Hey, that girl's stealing something. 271 00:10:17,478 --> 00:10:19,101 Oh, I, I didn't notice that. 272 00:10:19,135 --> 00:10:22,449 I'd better review her other tapes, then. 273 00:10:29,076 --> 00:10:32,010 Wait. Are there cameras all over this place? 274 00:10:32,045 --> 00:10:33,805 Oh, yeah, they're everywhere: 275 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,738 pharmacy, ATM, the bath... 276 00:10:35,773 --> 00:10:37,602 Uh, yep, lot of cameras. 277 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,535 Is there one in the parking lot? 278 00:10:41,502 --> 00:10:42,296 Whoa! 279 00:10:42,331 --> 00:10:43,435 What is it? 280 00:10:43,470 --> 00:10:46,024 That girl dropped a can under her car. 281 00:10:46,059 --> 00:10:47,577 Sorry. 282 00:10:48,993 --> 00:10:49,959 Wait! Stop! 283 00:10:49,994 --> 00:10:52,341 There's our van. 284 00:10:58,968 --> 00:11:01,730 She did it. 285 00:11:01,764 --> 00:11:03,801 She's guilty. 286 00:11:03,835 --> 00:11:07,494 Mom's... wrong. 287 00:11:13,051 --> 00:11:15,053 Oh, my God. 288 00:11:15,088 --> 00:11:16,572 Mom's wrong. 289 00:11:16,606 --> 00:11:18,470 My whole worldview is shaken. 290 00:11:18,505 --> 00:11:20,127 I know. This is amazing. 291 00:11:20,162 --> 00:11:21,853 We have to go show it to her. 292 00:11:21,888 --> 00:11:23,372 Wait, maybe we should save it 293 00:11:23,406 --> 00:11:25,236 for the next time Mom yells at us, 294 00:11:25,270 --> 00:11:26,478 then spring it on her. 295 00:11:26,513 --> 00:11:27,790 No, I think it's better fresh. 296 00:11:27,825 --> 00:11:31,035 Okay, let's go.Wait, we need to keep a straight face. 297 00:11:31,069 --> 00:11:32,139 Okay, okay. 298 00:11:33,244 --> 00:11:34,452 I'm ready. 299 00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:36,212 : No, I'm not. 300 00:11:36,247 --> 00:11:37,179 Stop smiling. 301 00:11:38,283 --> 00:11:39,699 Come on... 302 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,114 Hey, honey. 303 00:11:41,148 --> 00:11:42,840 God, it's been a great day. 304 00:11:42,874 --> 00:11:44,980 The fire alarm went off during the morning meeting, 305 00:11:45,014 --> 00:11:47,845 and I got the last Snickers out of the vending machine. 306 00:11:49,363 --> 00:11:50,744 I did not think it was going to fall, 307 00:11:50,779 --> 00:11:53,126 but then I gave it a little hip check-- boom! 308 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:54,748 Who is Susan King? 309 00:11:56,646 --> 00:11:57,924 Hmm? 310 00:11:59,270 --> 00:12:00,754 Susan King. 311 00:12:00,789 --> 00:12:02,342 Hmm, Susan King. 312 00:12:02,376 --> 00:12:03,895 Give me a moment. 313 00:12:03,930 --> 00:12:05,483 Susan... 314 00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:06,760 All right, before I say anything, 315 00:12:06,795 --> 00:12:09,211 do you know already or are you really asking? 316 00:12:09,245 --> 00:12:10,695 She called today with some insurance quotes 317 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,283 in case I get a point on my license. 318 00:12:12,317 --> 00:12:13,353 Why would she do that? 319 00:12:13,387 --> 00:12:14,319 It was nothing. 320 00:12:14,354 --> 00:12:15,976 I just gave her a little phone call. 321 00:12:16,011 --> 00:12:17,012 Curious about a few things. 322 00:12:17,046 --> 00:12:18,565 Like what will happen if I lose? 323 00:12:18,599 --> 00:12:21,188 Well, yes, yes, I just wanted to find out 324 00:12:21,223 --> 00:12:23,432 what the worst-case scenario might be. 325 00:12:23,466 --> 00:12:24,674 I mean, what if... 326 00:12:24,709 --> 00:12:26,331 There are no "what ifs," Hal! 327 00:12:26,366 --> 00:12:27,367 You're right. 328 00:12:27,401 --> 00:12:28,782 You are right. 329 00:12:28,817 --> 00:12:29,783 Right, okay. 330 00:12:29,818 --> 00:12:31,474 So, I mean, even if our insurance does go up 331 00:12:31,509 --> 00:12:33,614 and we can't afford two cars, we'll just sell one. 332 00:12:33,649 --> 00:12:36,238 I mean, you know, what did they do before cars? 333 00:12:36,272 --> 00:12:37,895 They, uh, they walked, so we'll walk. 334 00:12:37,929 --> 00:12:39,551 You're expecting me to lose. 335 00:12:39,586 --> 00:12:41,243 Is this how you support me? 336 00:12:41,277 --> 00:12:42,762 I do support you. 337 00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:44,108 I'm just-- I think we need 338 00:12:44,142 --> 00:12:46,213 to know what we're getting into here. 339 00:12:46,248 --> 00:12:47,283 I mean, I don't know. 340 00:12:47,318 --> 00:12:49,389 Is, is it actually worth all the trouble? 341 00:12:49,423 --> 00:12:50,562 Yes, Hal. 342 00:12:50,597 --> 00:12:52,772 I think standing up for myself is worth the trouble! 343 00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:55,947 I think refusing to be railroaded is worth the trouble! 344 00:12:55,982 --> 00:12:58,847 I know I can win this because I know I'm right! 345 00:12:58,881 --> 00:13:02,057 I can't believe you have so little faith in me! 346 00:13:02,091 --> 00:13:03,575 I have complete faith in you. 347 00:13:03,610 --> 00:13:06,061 It's the rest of the world that I don't have faith in. 348 00:13:06,889 --> 00:13:08,235 Things could look different 349 00:13:08,270 --> 00:13:09,305 to different people. 350 00:13:09,340 --> 00:13:10,790 The system can be corrupt. 351 00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:13,758 We wouldn't be in this situation if that weren't true. 352 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:16,312 And sometimes, Lois, being right isn't enough. 353 00:13:16,347 --> 00:13:19,315 Being right is everything. 354 00:13:19,350 --> 00:13:20,800 I didn't do anything wrong, Hal, 355 00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:22,594 and I'm willing to fight to prove it. 356 00:13:22,629 --> 00:13:23,906 I know it's going to be hard. 357 00:13:23,941 --> 00:13:25,701 But that's why the last thing I need 358 00:13:25,735 --> 00:13:27,289 is my own family undermining me. 359 00:13:27,323 --> 00:13:29,222 How many times do I have to tell you? 360 00:13:29,256 --> 00:13:30,257 I'm right, I'm right. 361 00:13:30,292 --> 00:13:33,882 I swear on my children's lives, I am right! 362 00:13:36,125 --> 00:13:38,093 What do you want? 363 00:13:40,889 --> 00:13:42,338 Nothing. 364 00:13:42,373 --> 00:13:44,340 I can't believe you chickened out. 365 00:13:44,375 --> 00:13:46,446 Me? You're the one who disappeared. 366 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:47,827 Oh, so now we're playing the blame game. 367 00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,518 Look, we know Mom is going to freak out 368 00:13:49,552 --> 00:13:51,175 on whoever shows her the tape... 369 00:13:51,209 --> 00:13:52,659 Not it.Maybe someone could 370 00:13:52,693 --> 00:13:55,386 mail it to her anonymously... 371 00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:57,767 Not it.Okay, fine, but I'm going to need... 372 00:13:57,802 --> 00:13:58,285 Not it. 373 00:13:58,320 --> 00:13:59,286 Look... 374 00:13:59,321 --> 00:14:00,840 someone has to be the person... 375 00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:02,255 Not it.Who doesn't give it to her. 376 00:14:02,289 --> 00:14:02,945 I'm it. 377 00:14:02,980 --> 00:14:04,119 Ha! 378 00:14:04,153 --> 00:14:06,293 Oh. 379 00:14:06,328 --> 00:14:07,398 Let me get this straight: 380 00:14:07,432 --> 00:14:09,607 We each pay you $50 and you're going to jump 381 00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:12,196 from the roof of the dorm to the roof of the gym 382 00:14:12,230 --> 00:14:13,956 on the school's riding lawnmower. 383 00:14:13,991 --> 00:14:14,957 Who's in? 384 00:14:14,992 --> 00:14:17,753 Are we talking with the bagger attachment? 385 00:14:17,787 --> 00:14:18,892 Are you crazy? 386 00:14:18,927 --> 00:14:20,929 You know what kind of drag that would create? 387 00:14:20,963 --> 00:14:21,895 I don't know. 388 00:14:21,930 --> 00:14:23,276 It just sounds too easy. 389 00:14:23,310 --> 00:14:25,036 Okay, okay, how about this: 390 00:14:25,071 --> 00:14:28,971 For five extra dollars, I'll do it blindfolded. 391 00:14:29,006 --> 00:14:30,559 Francis, phone. 392 00:14:30,593 --> 00:14:32,181 Give it some thought. 393 00:14:33,217 --> 00:14:34,321 Hello? 394 00:14:34,356 --> 00:14:35,391 Hey, Francis. 395 00:14:35,426 --> 00:14:37,014 You know Mom's traffic ticket? 396 00:14:37,048 --> 00:14:38,153 Well, I have a videotape, 397 00:14:38,187 --> 00:14:40,500 and it shows that Mom really was at fault, and... 398 00:14:40,534 --> 00:14:42,398 She was wrong? 399 00:14:42,433 --> 00:14:43,744 Yeah, and now I'm trying to figure... 400 00:14:43,779 --> 00:14:45,125 What are you talking to me for? 401 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,541 You have incontrovertible proof that Mom was wrong. 402 00:14:47,576 --> 00:14:49,060 Shove it in her face. 403 00:14:49,095 --> 00:14:52,132 Francis, I don't think that's a good idea. 404 00:14:52,167 --> 00:14:53,754 Are you kidding? It's brilliant. 405 00:14:53,789 --> 00:14:55,653 From now on, whenever she gets all high-and-mighty with us, 406 00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:57,206 we can just throw this back at her. 407 00:14:57,241 --> 00:14:58,518 Francis, I can't. 408 00:14:58,552 --> 00:15:00,727 If I show Mom this tape, she'll go crazy 409 00:15:00,761 --> 00:15:03,764 and then she'll kill the messenger, which is me. 410 00:15:03,799 --> 00:15:05,974 You're asking me to commit suicide. 411 00:15:06,008 --> 00:15:08,735 And think of the look on her face! 412 00:15:14,396 --> 00:15:17,951 We thought it would be best if we showed it to you first. 413 00:15:17,986 --> 00:15:19,953 Well, I can't say that I'm glad you did, 414 00:15:19,988 --> 00:15:22,335 but I-I guess you did the right thing. 415 00:15:22,369 --> 00:15:23,370 Someone should show it to her. 416 00:15:23,405 --> 00:15:24,958 Not it.Dad! 417 00:15:24,993 --> 00:15:28,272 Okay, but we need to ease her into this. 418 00:15:28,306 --> 00:15:30,136 Pick the right moment. 419 00:15:30,170 --> 00:15:33,346 This is a very delicate matter. 420 00:15:33,380 --> 00:15:34,623 LOIS: Hal! 421 00:15:34,657 --> 00:15:36,901 Come on, come on, come on, come on... 422 00:15:40,180 --> 00:15:41,630 LOIS: I swear, that cop 423 00:15:41,664 --> 00:15:43,908 was following me on the way home. 424 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:44,805 Oh, come on, Lois. 425 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,738 I don't think he'd follow you. 426 00:15:46,773 --> 00:15:49,327 I'm sure he's got better things to do. 427 00:15:52,641 --> 00:15:55,126 What do you think you're doing here? 428 00:15:55,161 --> 00:15:56,369 My commander informed me 429 00:15:56,403 --> 00:15:58,302 that you made a request for my records, 430 00:15:58,336 --> 00:16:00,442 which, of course, is your right, 431 00:16:00,476 --> 00:16:02,168 so I thought I'd take a drive over 432 00:16:02,202 --> 00:16:04,239 and deliver them to you myself. 433 00:16:04,273 --> 00:16:05,412 Nice house. 434 00:16:05,447 --> 00:16:07,759 Don't you try to intimidate me. 435 00:16:07,794 --> 00:16:10,003 All I said was you have a nice house. 436 00:16:10,038 --> 00:16:12,454 First you follow me home and now you're making vague threats? 437 00:16:12,488 --> 00:16:13,938 Well, it's not going to work. 438 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,147 You are going to be so sorry you messed with me. 439 00:16:17,286 --> 00:16:18,391 Have a nice evening, ma'am. 440 00:16:18,425 --> 00:16:20,496 You are going down, mister. 441 00:16:20,531 --> 00:16:21,808 You hear me?! 442 00:16:21,842 --> 00:16:23,258 You are going down! 443 00:16:23,292 --> 00:16:26,399 I don't care how long it takes or how much money it costs! 444 00:16:26,433 --> 00:16:30,023 I'm going to win because I am right! 445 00:16:34,579 --> 00:16:38,031 There's something you have to see. 446 00:16:43,692 --> 00:16:46,971 Honey, I'm sorry you had to see that, 447 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:50,216 but it's best you found out now before it's too late. 448 00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:55,290 It's wrong. 449 00:16:55,324 --> 00:16:56,256 What? 450 00:16:56,291 --> 00:16:58,017 The tape is wrong. 451 00:17:00,088 --> 00:17:01,296 Dad... 452 00:17:01,330 --> 00:17:03,298 You heard your mother. 453 00:17:03,332 --> 00:17:07,819 The tape... is... 454 00:17:10,166 --> 00:17:11,202 Oh, man! 455 00:17:15,448 --> 00:17:16,518 Honey... 456 00:17:16,551 --> 00:17:18,623 Look, I'm not stupid. 457 00:17:18,657 --> 00:17:20,453 I saw the tape. 458 00:17:20,487 --> 00:17:21,730 But it's wrong. 459 00:17:21,763 --> 00:17:24,595 I don't know how to explain it, but I know. 460 00:17:24,628 --> 00:17:27,563 I know that tape is wrong. 461 00:17:27,598 --> 00:17:30,290 I believe you. No, you don't. 462 00:17:30,325 --> 00:17:31,291 Well, what do you expect? 463 00:17:31,326 --> 00:17:33,707 I expect you to believe me. 464 00:17:33,742 --> 00:17:34,915 Lois, in the past 20 years 465 00:17:34,950 --> 00:17:36,952 you have never admitted that you were wrong. 466 00:17:36,986 --> 00:17:39,196 And as far as I know, you've never needed to. 467 00:17:39,230 --> 00:17:42,164 But the facts are right there in front of your eyes, 468 00:17:42,199 --> 00:17:43,579 and this time you are wrong. 469 00:17:43,614 --> 00:17:45,616 And if you can't see that, 470 00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:47,514 well, that's just plain crazy. 471 00:17:47,549 --> 00:17:48,584 I am not crazy. 472 00:17:48,619 --> 00:17:51,000 The tape is wrong. It has to be. 473 00:17:51,035 --> 00:17:53,417 Well, wha-what are you saying, that someone doctored it? 474 00:17:53,451 --> 00:17:54,763 No, I... 475 00:17:55,936 --> 00:17:57,973 I, I-I know... I know it wasn't doctored. 476 00:17:58,007 --> 00:17:59,768 I'm just saying that it's wrong. 477 00:17:59,802 --> 00:18:02,564 I know what happened, and I know that I'm right. 478 00:18:02,598 --> 00:18:04,083 Okay, honey, that may be, 479 00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:06,982 but me and the rest of the world tend to believe what we see, 480 00:18:07,016 --> 00:18:10,158 and everything is pointing to you being wrong. 481 00:18:10,192 --> 00:18:13,713 The universe is telling you to give up. 482 00:18:13,747 --> 00:18:15,715 It's time to let it go. 483 00:18:19,477 --> 00:18:23,102 Well, that's not fair. 484 00:18:26,657 --> 00:18:28,762 You know what's not fair, Lois? 485 00:18:28,797 --> 00:18:30,868 Having to be right all the time. 486 00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,732 That's a terrible burden. 487 00:18:32,766 --> 00:18:35,459 Wouldn't it be a relief 488 00:18:35,493 --> 00:18:37,116 just to let go? 489 00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,361 You want me to say that I'm wrong 490 00:18:41,396 --> 00:18:42,983 even when I know I'm right? 491 00:18:43,018 --> 00:18:45,469 Yes, yes, that's exactly what I want. 492 00:18:45,503 --> 00:18:46,608 I know 493 00:18:46,642 --> 00:18:48,057 it doesn't happen very often, Lois, 494 00:18:48,092 --> 00:18:52,234 but you have been beaten. 495 00:18:52,269 --> 00:18:53,477 Let go. 496 00:18:53,511 --> 00:18:55,410 But I am right. 497 00:18:55,444 --> 00:18:56,583 Let go, honey. But I... 498 00:18:56,618 --> 00:18:58,309 Just once. 499 00:18:58,344 --> 00:18:59,483 Can you do that? 500 00:18:59,517 --> 00:19:01,450 Let go. 501 00:19:07,111 --> 00:19:08,181 That's it. 502 00:19:08,216 --> 00:19:09,631 Aw, see? 503 00:19:09,665 --> 00:19:11,253 Okay... 504 00:19:11,288 --> 00:19:14,222 Okay, can you say it? 505 00:19:18,502 --> 00:19:22,195 I was... 506 00:19:22,230 --> 00:19:23,645 wrong. 507 00:19:23,679 --> 00:19:25,509 That's right. 508 00:19:25,543 --> 00:19:27,614 You see, it's not so bad. 509 00:19:27,649 --> 00:19:29,098 Hmm? 510 00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:31,722 You'll go to traffic school 511 00:19:31,756 --> 00:19:33,827 and meet some nice people, 512 00:19:33,862 --> 00:19:35,622 maybe hear a couple good car jokes. 513 00:19:35,657 --> 00:19:37,210 Huh? 514 00:19:37,245 --> 00:19:38,660 Everything is... 515 00:19:38,694 --> 00:19:40,972 Everything's going to be all right, okay? 516 00:19:41,007 --> 00:19:43,078 Everything's going to be all right. 517 00:19:43,112 --> 00:19:45,529 Oh, I am so proud of you. 518 00:19:47,255 --> 00:19:49,809 You are so great. 519 00:19:49,843 --> 00:19:52,570 You are so beautiful. 520 00:19:52,605 --> 00:19:56,056 You are so wrong. 521 00:19:57,817 --> 00:19:59,853 How many times have I told you people 522 00:19:59,888 --> 00:20:01,821 don't leave the refrigerator open! 523 00:20:01,855 --> 00:20:03,236 You did it. 524 00:20:03,271 --> 00:20:05,514 Maybe I did. 525 00:20:05,549 --> 00:20:08,068 She's been like this all week. 526 00:20:08,103 --> 00:20:10,381 It's like her spirit's been broken. 527 00:20:10,416 --> 00:20:12,003 It's nice. 528 00:20:12,038 --> 00:20:13,867 Hi, Francis-- about the money... 529 00:20:13,902 --> 00:20:16,663 Okay, look, I've raised 192 bucks, and if I can only... 530 00:20:16,698 --> 00:20:18,251 Look, Francis, I'm sorry I got so angry. 531 00:20:18,286 --> 00:20:21,254 Why don't you just use that money to come home next weekend? 532 00:20:21,289 --> 00:20:22,359 But... 533 00:20:22,393 --> 00:20:24,982 I've got to go to traffic school. Love you. Bye. 534 00:20:29,297 --> 00:20:31,299 Bye. 535 00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:34,336 Where's Lois, did I miss her? 536 00:20:34,371 --> 00:20:35,855 Craig. 537 00:20:35,889 --> 00:20:38,064 You guys are not going to believe what I have. 538 00:20:38,098 --> 00:20:39,099 I have a surveillance 539 00:20:39,134 --> 00:20:40,273 arrangement with the manager 540 00:20:40,308 --> 00:20:41,930 of the mini-mart across the street. 541 00:20:41,964 --> 00:20:44,001 We exchange tapes in order to better understand 542 00:20:44,035 --> 00:20:45,692 the security needs of our customers. 543 00:20:45,727 --> 00:20:47,694 "Short skirt, windy day"? 544 00:20:47,729 --> 00:20:49,075 That's code. 545 00:20:49,109 --> 00:20:50,766 Anyhoo, one of their cameras 546 00:20:50,801 --> 00:20:52,561 caught Lois from a different angle 547 00:20:52,596 --> 00:20:54,356 right before she got her ticket. 548 00:21:05,540 --> 00:21:06,920 See? 549 00:21:06,955 --> 00:21:09,129 Lois was right all along! 550 00:21:09,164 --> 00:21:10,614 This completely exonerates her. 551 00:21:10,648 --> 00:21:11,994 Isn't this great? 552 00:21:20,624 --> 00:21:22,591 What are you doing? 553 00:21:27,769 --> 00:21:31,117 You will never, ever tell her of this. 554 00:21:31,151 --> 00:21:31,704 But... 555 00:21:31,738 --> 00:21:33,430 Ah! Ever. 556 00:21:36,260 --> 00:21:38,504 Got it? 38766

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.