All language subtitles for Breeders s04e10 No Matter What 2.eng

It's okay.

It's okay. It's all
right. Just let it out.

It's all right. Just let it out.

Okay.

- Hey.
- Hi. You all right?

- Yeah.
- I ordered you, uh,

an espresso and a
croissant. Is that okay?

Oh, yeah, thanks.
I'll need that.

We had a killer night
with Jay last night.

- He's just not sleeping at all.
- Hmm.

And then he was sick
in his fucking car seat

on the way back from shopping,
and it went all down the side.

Yeah. No, I can... I
can imagine, you know?

- Sorry.
- Look, I know you're meant

to be heading back to
Manchester tomorrow,

- but I just...
- um...

I needed to tell you something.

Okay.

If you want to defer
your place for two years,

then you can.

What?

An old mate of mine
works at your college,

and, yes, there will be a
place for you in two years

if you need to drop out now.

That's amazing news. Oh,
my... Thank you so much.

No, you're welcome. Yeah.

This is a lifesaver.

- I need to call Maya.
- Yeah, go ahead.

Dad, you are
an absolute star.

You are an absolute,
fucking star.

You dick, Paul. You
total fucking bastard.

He was gonna quit
completely, Ally,

if they wouldn't let him defer.

But deferring, quitting,
it's the same thing.

He'll get a job now, and he'll
never go back to studying.

Well, things might be
different in two years.

How? He will still be a dad.
He'll be a dad to a toddler,

so he'll wanna be
away in Manchester

so he'll wanna be away in Manchester
even less than he does now.

Even less than he does now.

No, you don't know
that for sure.

- I do know that.
- Okay.

Luke has just thrown
his future away.

Actually, you know what, Paul?

You have just thrown
his future away.

- Oh! Fuck off.
- You fuck off.

I did what I thought
was best for Luke.

Yeah, and you completely ignored

what I thought
was best for Luke.

Yes.

Yes.

Jesus Christ.

You unilaterally made a decision
that we had not agreed on.

I don't know where this
is coming from, right?

- I was in the car with him.
- Yeah.

You weren't. He was
gonna quit college.

I had to make a
decision there and then.

A unilateral decision.
You could have called me

before you spoke to
this Andrew bloke.

Yeah, I could have
done, but I...

But you decided
to unilaterally do

- what you wanted to do.
- You're overusing

- the word "unilateral."
- I know I am.

Hi. Hi, Grace.
Uh, I didn't know...

I had no idea you were here.

Yeah, Ava and I have been here
most of the morning.

Oh, um, I didn't hear a peep
out of either you or Ava.

We've
just been reading.

I don't think we've
said much to each other

apart from "hi" and "goodbye."
It's nice.

That is nice, actually.

Anyway, Ava's meeting Holly
for lunch, so I'm off.

Aw.

- Thank you for having me.
- Yeah. Very welcome.

I've been the perfect hostess.

See you soon.

- Cheers.
- See you, lovely.

- Cheers. - See you, lovely.
- Grace, bye now. - Bye-bye.

- Grace, bye now.
- Bye-bye.

- Got a text from Dad.
- Is everything all right?

Yeah, I don't know.
His predictive text

is always so fucking mad.

Uh, "You mama lost the god on
and week need to help a time."

- Yeah, that is nonsense.
- Mm.

Might be about
your mum's health.

- Hmm? What do you mean?
- Your dad

popped around when you
were in Manchester.

He, um, he was
worried about your mum

'cause she didn't know
where she was the other day.

- Wh... Why didn't he tell me?
- He didn't want to worry you.

I said that I would tell
you if it came up because

we don't tell lies
to each other.

Hmm. Uh, I'll go
and see what's what.

Send my love.

Brighton is like
all the best parts of London

squashed together,
and there's a beach.

Do you think you might go back
there to do any more shifts?

Better than that. They
reckon there might be

a permanent position
for me there very soon.

So, you might move
down to Brighton?

It's not that far. Less
than an hour on the train.

Should we go now?

Cheeky trip to Brighton?
Come on. I'm so bored.

- I wanna do something.
- I'm not sure.

Ava, come on. We never
do anything these days.

We do. This is doing something.

This is just more sitting about.
Let's go to Brighton right now.

We can go out tonight
and stay in a shitty B&B

like we're nans.

Sure. Yeah. Okay. Great.

Finish your chips. You're full.

I do not want any more chips.

"You mama lost the god on and
week need to help a time."

- Is that what I wrote?
- Yes.

I put it through
an Enigma machine,

but it blew up and metal
springs went everywhere.

What I meant to say was,

"Your mum had left the gas
on, and we need to talk."

Left the gas on? For how long?

- Five hours.
- Christ.

I knew she'd been getting
a bit forgetful, but...

Like I said to Ally,

I think she's gone the
same way me mum did.

Okay.

Do we need to take her
and get a diagnosis or...

No, she won't see any doctors.

She doesn't want it confirmed.

She's terrified, Paul.

So, uh,
what can I do to help?

- What do you both need?
- I'm gonna care for her.

Do all the cookin'
and the cleanin'

and the washin' and all that.

Dad, that's lovely, but you
can't do any of those things.

You've never cooked
anything except toast

in your entire life.

Well, I thought
you could teach us.

You're a great cook.

I'd have to start from scratch,
though. The absolute basics.

Yeah. Yeah, let's try that.

- You've never chopped an onion?
- No.

What did you eat when
Mum was in the hospital

giving birth to me?

- giving birth to me?
- Chips from the fish shop. Toast.

Chips from the fish shop. Toast.

Cheese roll at the pub.

Battered saveloy
from the fish shop.

Lots of cream
crackers and butter.

Mince and potatoes at the pub.

That does sound
brilliant, actually.

Well, uh, look, here...
here's an onion.

Everything starts with an onion.

Everything? Not
literally everything.

No, the First World War
didn't start with an onion.

That was more complicated,

but lots and lots of
meals start with an onion.

So, what do I do with it?

And don't say, "Shove
it up your arse."

Well, if... if
that option's off the table,

then, uh, you want to start
by just slicing the top off.

Which is the top? The hairy bit?

Ah, no, the other end.

The... The hairy bit's
the root. So, if you...

Ooh, not that much.

- Sorry.
- That's okay. It's all right.

Uh... uh... so if...

Yeah. Turn it round,
and, um, we're gonna

cut the, uh, the root off.

- The hairy bit?
- The hairy bit, yeah.

Yeah, but, um, you know, try...

try and cut off as
little as possible.

Well, that's not enough,
Dad. That's...

Yeah, bit more in.

That's far too fucking
much, isn't it?

- Sorry. Sorry, Paul.
- It's all right. It's all right.

Tr... Try taking the skin off

Yeah, so you can
use your fingers.

You know, you can
use your finger.

Put the knife down.
Yeah, brilliant.

Just the outer layer.
That's quite a lot of layers.

- Sorry, sorry.
- Fucking hell.

- What's happening?
- Oh, my. Oh.

Paul's teaching us how to cook.

What made you think
that was a good idea?

Christ Almighty.
You'll cock it up, Jim.

Paul will shout at you.
You'll tell him to eff off.

There's knives lying about.
One of you will commit murder.

If you want to learn to cook,
Jim, Ava will teach you.

So, do I just chop
up what's left?

No, step away from the onion.

y to see you,
Paul.-Yeah, you too, Mum.

Dad mentioned that,
uh... things, uh, that...

that it's been a bit
difficult at the minute.

Well, I'm going doolally,
Paul, like Jim's mum did.

Round the bend and
up the pictures.

I'm tending to stay

- around here these days.
- Mm-hmm.

I can get a bit
discombobulated if I go out.

Okay.

But you... you... you still
seem like you, though.

- Yeah, most of the time I am.
- Mm.

Then sometimes...

like yesterday,

Jim told me I kept looking
for the dog, for Biddy.

Yeah, I was upset that

- I couldn't find her anywhere.
- Mm.

I suppose I must have
thought she needed feeding

or... or taking for a walk.

You do know that Biddy died
in, like, 1981, right?

- No, I know, love.
- Whew!

- Yeah, I do know.
- Yeah.

But also...

sometimes, I... I just don't.

I love you, Mum.
Always love you.

I love you, too, sweetheart.

It's just a
small one-bed place.

Yeah, but it's in a sweet
little street in Streatham Hill.

Lots of window boxes

and Neighbourhood Watch
stickers.

- I think it'd be really good...
- Yeah.

For Luke and Maya to have
their own place, wouldn't it?

- They need privacy and space.
- Mm-hmm.

The rent won't be cheap,
though. We can contribute.

There's no need, really.

You're paying for
Jay's naming party.

Yeah, but that's hardly
comparable.

You're welcome to contribute,
Ally, but we're more than happy

to cover it all
ourselves, aren't we?

Wow, thank you. Yeah, that'd
be... that'd be amazing.

The landlord's a mate, so
it's only hugely expensive

rather than hideously.

Luke was telling me that
he's joined an agency

for catering shifts.

- Catering?
- You know, waiting tables,

kitchen portering,
that sort of stuff.

Yeah, no, I... I know...
I know what it is.

He just... He
didn't mention that.

- Well, it's flexible.
- Yeah.

Ideally, he can do shifts
that fit in with the baby

and Maya's studying.

Right, because he's not
doing any studying himself.

Mm.

Has everybody had enough to eat?

- It was great. Thank you, Meena.
- I'm fine, thanks.

- Okay.
- Mm.

Brilliant.

Of course we should
pay towards the rent.

They said they'd cover it.

That's 'cause they're
polite people.

I'm worried about
our money, Ally.

Dad's not gonna be able to
look after Mum much longer.

So, that means we're gonna
have to pay for carers

and possibly a nursing home.

That's, what, 70 grand a
year, minimum? It's mad money.

Yeah, we're not
there yet, are we?

Plus, Luke and Maya are
gonna need to be subbed,

apart from the rent.
That's energy bills, phone,

Council Tax, then Ava's
gonna go off to uni.

- Never thought of you as mean.
- The fuck?

Uh, I just don't want us
to have to work till we're 75.

I... I would like to stop
working at some point.

You enjoy your job.

Yeah, I enjoy Taramasalata, hon,

but I don't want to be
compelled to eat it until I die.

Well, if you don't want
to pay towards the rent,

then that's fine, but I will.

Oh, smooth. Yeah, so
I look like the cunt.

Fab. Thanks, man.

- Oh, hi.
- Hey.

I was just going
to see Granddad,

give him his first
cookery lesson.

- Ah. Well, have fun.
- Thank you.

- Is everything all right?
- No, not really.

- I'm sorry.
- Oh...

So, I forgot to got to
ask. How was Brighton?

Yeah. Great.

I haven't been there for ages.
Had you planned to go or...

No, no, it was
totally spontaneous.

Holly said, "Let's
go," and we went.

Oh, she really knows how to
sweep someone off their feet.

It looks like she's going to
move down to Brighton for good.

Oh. Wow. How do you
feel about that?

I don't know.

Well, if you really
love each other,

- then you'll make it work.
- Yeah.

Mum, who was the first person
you ever said "I love you" to?

Steve Watts. We
were 15 and a half.

- Did you mean it?
- No. I mean, in that moment,

yes, yes, I did.

Well, it's the most powerful
thing you can ever say, I think.

Mm.

I want to really mean
it when I say it.

And you will, sweetheart.

And you'll know when it
feels right to say it, too.

- Yeah, I will.
- Mm.

Thanks, Mum.

- I love you.
- I love you.

See ya later.

See ya.

Time for your lesson, Granddad.

- Right you are.
- Good luck.

- Thanks.
- I meant Ava.

This is like I've
learned a magic trick.

I've baked a spud and
made an omelet.

You and Granny
should share it.

Granny?

Granny?

She's not here.

No one's seen her. She hasn't
been in the lounge all day.

She hasn't been outside of
here on her own for weeks

because it worries her. She
can forget where she is.

How long since you last saw her?

How long since you last saw her?
How long did that potato take?

How long did that potato take?

80 minutes.

- Hey, any news?
- No, she's not here.

Right. Dad, any idea
where she might have gone?

Anything she said that
might give a clue?

She has been talking
a lot recently

about our old dog Biddy.

Should we go and have look up
where we scattered the ashes?

- Yeah. Okay. Thank you.
- You're welcome.

She loved that dog.

- Yeah, me, too.
- Can't see Granny.

This was the spot
where we scattered Biddy.

- Yeah.
- She loved to swim.

Your mum got very upset

because some ducks
tried to eat the ashes.

It's... It's Alison.

Hey, Alison. Any news?

Oh, brilliant.

Fantastic.
Thank you so much.

- She's back at home.
- Thank God.

Yeah, we're headed
back now. See you soon.

I only popped up the supermarket
for a few odds and sods.

Yeah, we were worried, Mum.

I'm not completely
barmy yet, Paul.

I'm not completely barmy yet, Paul.
I have still got some marbles,

I have still got some marbles,

and I can still go out
and about if I fancy it.

I need some independence,

and you all need
to calm down a bit.

Maybe we did overreact a
bit, but it's difficult.

It absolutely fucking is,

'cause she's been out and
got confused before now.

She said so herself, so it's
reasonable to be worried.

Hang on, is that an omelet?

And I did a baked spud. Look.

Yes, you did. Good work, Heston.

Do... Do we
try just leaving him?

You mean controlled crying?
No, I... I can't do that.

No, I just... I mean,

maybe we don't immediately
go pick him up.

He's six months now, should
be sleeping more than this.

Fucking torture.

I can't stand it.

Fucking hell.

Top up?

- Hi, Ally.
- Oh.

I just wanted you to
be the first to know

that Siobhan and I are engaged
to be married... to each other.

Oh! That's amazing news.

Well, how... how... how's she
getting on with the twins?

Oh, brilliantly.
They love her.

Oh, wow. So, what's her secret?

Very early on, she yelled
at them a few times

to, "Go on, fucking
fuck yourselves

to the top of the
fucking Shard."

to the top of the fucking Shard."
And now they're as good as gold.

And now they're as good as gold.

Wow. Well,
she's a natural mother.

- Yeah.
- So, when's the wedding?

Uh, soon. Just a
registry office.

I did the big wedding thing when
Karen and I first got together.

Stately home, string
quartet, fireworks, ABBA.

So, did ABBA play
at your wedding?

No, ABBA tribute.
"Bjorn Yesterday."

Very good.

The Benny one, um, looked like
he should be on a register,

- but they sounded great.
- That's what matters.

- One thing...
- Hmm.

About this, you know,
whatever it is I've got,

is that it makes your memories
of years ago very sharp.

- Mm-hmm.
- Well, I was just thinking

about a girl I was at primary
school with, Angela Barker,

and we used to call her...

Why?

I don't know.

I mean, it's not
very funny, is it?

And she didn't
look like a tomato.

She was a pretty little thing.

That's probably why we
called her names... jealous.

Her parents were Methodists.

Right.

I'm rambling.

Well, you've always
done that, Mum.

There's no change
there, eh?

- How's Dad's cooking coming on?
- Oh, very good. Yeah, he made

a lovely roast chicken
breast yesterday...

- Mm.
- With oven chips

and broccoli. Mm, beautiful.

Hang on. Sorry.
Dad cooks broccoli?

I know.

It's a bit like saying
Dad does modern dance.

Fuckin' hell.

Oh. Now, here we go.

I've never done that before.
I didn't think it would work.

Uh, so...

Uh, so we thought about having
a... a naming ceremony for Jay,

uh, with speeches
and everything.

- Poems and readings.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- But then we... we thought,

you know, we might be parents,
but we're still teenagers,

and we would hate to sit
through all that bollocks.

But this is still
a naming party,

and the only formal thing
we'll ask you to do right now

is to raise a
glass...

- Thank you.
- Okay.

And toast to
our beautiful baby,

Jay Nikam-Worsley.

Jay Nikam-Worsley.

Aw.

Whoo-hoo!

I was, um, watching
you and Granny the other day,

just sitting together,
not saying anything.

Does that happen more now
that Granny's getting ill?

No, no.

We've always done it.

That's true love, isn't it?

Being in the same room and
not needing to say a word.

You don't have to
be spouting sonnets

in a gondola in
Venice to be romantic.

You can stay in your own
front room in Stockwell

with a Daily Mirror
and your gob shut.

Shall
I go and get the cake?

Shall I go and get the cake?

Hi, Holly. How's it going?

Yeah.

Well, I'm... I'm sorry,
hon, that things have all

got a bit, uh,
drastic between us.

- It's just that I...
- No, look, I get it. I do.

We spent years looking
after the kids.

We spent years looking after the kids.
Now we're looking after our mums,

Now we're looking
after our mums,

but we're still looking
after our kids, so...

- when is it gonna be our time?
- Never.

- No.
- It's never our time.

Well, it was our time in
our 20s, and no one told us.

I think the government

should hand out a
leaflet to everyone

as they're turning 24,
saying, "This is it, folks.

This is the time. You better
enjoy it, for Christ's sake."

Wouldn't do those two poor
bastards much good, would it?

No.

Uh, I'm gonna get a bit of food.

- You all right?
- Uh, yeah, fine, thanks. Fine.

Well, this is all very
splendid, isn't it?

Mm. Yeah, but everyone's a
bit fraught underneath it all.

Oh, you and Paul
bickering again?

No, we're not bickering.

We're having a
massive fucking row.

- Come on.
- Of course, sorry.

Jim and Jackie are having
problems with Jackie's health,

Jim and Jackie are having problems with Jackie's
health, and Luke and Maya seem exhausted,

and Luke and Maya
seem exhausted,

and Ava's finding out
about love with Holly.

And Ava's finding out about love
with Holly. Very complicated lives.

Very complicated lives.

Whereas you...

I avoid relationships
like the plague.

As a result, I am
as happy as Larry,

live in a beautiful
house, and I'm loaded.

Wow. There is a moral
in there somewhere.

Oh, dear. What's the matter?

- What is it, little fella?
- Hey, Jay.

Now,
I wanted to give you this.

Now, I wanted to give you this.

It's a cake.

- Aw.
- A naming day cake.

Granddad made it.

- Oh, wow.
- That's amazing.

Thank you, Jim. Wow.

Thanks.

Sorry. Excuse me.

I just have to go tell
someone I love them.

Hey. Shh, please.

I'm going to, uh, I'm gonna
take him out in his buggy,

- try and get him to sleep.
- Okay, okay, okay.

Come on.

- Ava. Hi.
- Grace.

I just texted you.

I need to leave now to
get to my sister's dinner.

It's been a lovely party.

Okay. I just wanted to, uh,
say something before you go.

Um...

I wanted to say I love you.

And I'm sorry to spring
it on you in a mad way.

And I don't know if you
like girls or boys or both

or neither, but I just need
to tell you I love you,

and I love being with you,
but more than just a friend.

I thought I loved Holly, and
she thought she might love me,

but I don't think we do,

but it made me realize
that I love you.

And you don't have
to respond to this.

In fact, don't until
you've thought about it,

but I love you, and
that's it, and thank you.

But you've not got that
kind of money, Paul.

Yeah, we'll... we'll find
it. Whatever you need.

You know, carers, a home.

You coming to live
with us, you know?

We'll... We'll make
it work, right?

- You're not on your own, Dad.
- Thanks, son.

Is it me, or is it
a bit parky in here?

Well, I'm warmed by booze,
so I'm not the one to ask.

I think my cardie's
in your car, Paul.

You couldn't fetch
it for me, could you?

- Yeah. Yeah, of course.
- Thanks.

You know, I might try baking
bread now I've done a cake.

Oh, well, the
world's your oyster.

Might do oysters
as well, fuck it.

Maybe you should sit down.

That's it. Come on.

We can look after
each other.

Come on. Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Stop it now. Come on.
Let's stop crying now.

Just go to sleep.

Yeah. Just please
go to sleep, Jay.

Just go to fucking sleep, Jay!

How could I shout
at him like that?

Easily, mate.

Easily.

They drive you to
the edge of sanity

and then push you off
the fucking cliff.

You don't even know you
have that rage inside you,

and then suddenly...

wallop.

- Please don't tell Maya.
- No, I'm not going to.

I think you need
a break, mate...

to recharge

and, you know, recalibrate.

Why don't me and Mum take
Jay for a couple of days?

- No, it's okay.
- You... You still see him

in the days if...
if you want to.

But, you know, just
a couple of nights

and a couple of
evenings to yourselves.

You know, have... have a pizza,

have a lie-in.

- I'll speak to Maya.
- Mm-hmm.

Look, mate, I... I...

I really do know that
you feel like you're

in the fucking middle
of the spin dryer

with everything in the world,

but... I'm telling you, mate,
a couple of nights, just rest.

It'll do wonders. Trust me.

Thank you. Really,
thanks. Thank you.

Thank you. Really, thanks.
Thank you. It's okay.

It's okay.

It's just after 3:00.

Whose turn is it
to get up?

I think it's mine.

No, it's... I think it's
my turn, isn't... isn't it?

It's fine. You just,
uh, go back to sleep.

Well, I'm awake
now anyway, so...

So am I.

Shall we both go?

Coming, Jay.

Noisy
little fucker.

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