All language subtitles for Sex.Education.S04E07.Episode.7.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-Archie.ENG.SDH

[Caroline] De Beauvoir's work
is steeped in patriarchal values.

It asks how we can be better emancipated
living within a man's world

rather than calling
for what women actually need,

which is a complete withdrawal
from that mode of being.

What are you suggesting?

For women to go and live on some commune?

No, darling. The men.

[laughing]

- Have you got everything you need?
- [Jean] Mum.

♪ Rolling me down the highway ♪

♪ Moving ahead so life won't pass me by... ♪

[Caroline] Come on. I want you
to try the salmon terrine.

♪ Like the north wind
Whistling down the sky... ♪

You're not supposed to be up.
Give me that.

- Turtle, it's a party.
- Stop calling me Turtle. I hate it.

But look at your cute little turtley nose.

Just give it to me.

Now look what you've done.

You're going to get me in trouble.
I'm supposed to be watching you.

Go and get some salt.

♪ And I sing it loud... ♪

[Caroline] I think we have read somewhere,
managers that are compromised

by, you know, metaphorical
and psychological instinct.

♪ Moving me down the highway ♪

♪ Rolling me down the highway ♪

♪ Moving ahead so life won't pass me by... ♪

[Caroline laughs]
Right, how about we play a game?

[breathing shakily]

Did you find the salt?

[Pierre] I was just getting some glasses.

♪ Like a fool I am and I'll always be ♪

♪ I've got a dream ♪

♪ I've got a dream... ♪

[Joanna] Don't be jealous.

♪ They can change their minds
But they can't change me ♪

♪ I've got a dream ♪

♪ I've got a dream ♪

♪ Oh, I know I could share... ♪

[Joanna] Morning, Turtle.
Has Otis not come back yet?

No. He's been at Maeve's all weekend.

Oh.

He's got a mock exam today.
I feel like he's shutting me out.

Maybe he's just embarrassed
to have Maeve stay over.

Why would he be embarrassed?

Perhaps you need
to be a little bit less intense.

You know, like one
of those laid-back, cool, friend mums.

I'm laid-back.

Anyway, I've decided
to give you the money.

Oh my God. Thank you.

What's this?

It's a "sister contract"
so that we both understand the conditions.

It's very, um... long.

Yeah.

Mull it over. Take your time.

There's no rush. And when you sign it,
I'll transfer the money.

You are not laid-back.

[clears throat] I might come in
and register at college today.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

[phone ringing]

Oh, um, my mum.

[Jean] Um, can you chat for a minute?

Uh, if this is about O, then no.

[Jean] It's not.

The show's on hiatus
until that stuff about, you know,

her being deleted gets worked out.

Canceled, Mum.

[Jean] That's not actually why
I called at all.

I was just wondering if you and Maeve
wanted to come over for dinner tonight.

It would be very relaxed.

Um, you know, laid-back.

Not intense at all.

Okay, let me ask.

Mum's wondering
if you wanna come for dinner.

No, I don't think that's a good idea.

I just... I thought, Maeve and I
got off on the wrong foot,

and... well, I'd like
to get to know her better.

She wants to get to know you better.

- Fine.
- Yeah?

- That sounds really nice.
- Oh.

- [Otis] We'll come over later.
- Good.

[Otis] Okay, bye.

Sorry, she put me on the spot.

[pensive music playing]

- Hmm. Oh.
- [knocking at door]

I'll get it.

- Come in.
- [Celia] Oh, you're not Jean. Stranger.

Hi, Jean. Got you a skimmed latte,
if I remembered correctly?

- Thanks.
- Nice house!

Except for that tree house out the front.

That's creepy.

My ex built it.

I'm going to take it down.
I just haven't had the chance.

Um, sorry. Have I forgotten something?

I just wanna chat.

I'm... I'm gonna go.

Let's go in here.

["Push" playing]

♪ Pushin' ♪

♪ Pushin'... ♪

My dysphoria is at an all-time high.

I'm trying to look after myself
and push through,

but I'm just waiting for the next thing
to come and knock me down.

I can't get away from that feeling.

It's there when I wake up,
when I go to sleep.

I wish I could just go back
to being a kid.

I think it was the last time
I felt like me.

♪ Get on your journey ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

- ♪ Keep on ♪
- ♪ Pushin' ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

- ♪ Pushin' ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Pushin' ♪

- ♪ Pushin'... ♪
- [phone chimes]

[phone clicks]

- [Jackson] What the fuck?
- [knock]

Here you go. Your mother's finest.

How are you feeling about your exam?

I just got an email saying
that there's no record of my sperm donor.

I thought we agreed you were going to wait
until after your exams.

I know you guys
are hiding something from me.

Jackson, we just want you to do well.

It's your final year at college.
You need to stay focused.

- Mum, can you tell me what's going on?
- There's nothing going on.

It's just a mix-up.

[mysterious music playing]

Stop staring at me.

You silly, silly Jesus.

[Beatrice] Eric!
Your toast is getting burnt!

[Joy fussing]

Should I have bought Joy a "babyccino"?

Look, I wanted to come over
to update you.

Things got a little fruity
down at the station.

And "Terry" is not happy with me at all,

but I still have a lot of faith
that we can make this show work.

We just have to come up
with a plan of action and regroup.

Well, the thing is, Celia, um,

I don't think
I'm the right person for the show.

Oh.

[jean] I thought I'd be able
to juggle everything,

and it turns out
that it's a lot harder than I realized.

But the last show was a lot better.
You were finding your groove.

I just need to be a mum right now.

[upbeat music playing]

[Abbi] Uh, hi. Hey, everyone.
The fundraiser's coming up,

and we're still looking for people
to help with ticketing and catering,

so shoot me a message if... Ooh.

you fancy helping out.

You're so brave for outing O.

Yeah, and I accidentally pissed
in my wardrobe when I was drunk once,

so you shouldn't feel embarrassed.

So it's down there for enrollment.

- [Maeve] Okay.
- [Otis] Good luck.

- See you later.
- [Otis] Mm-hmm.

[indistinct chatter]

Ruby. Hi. Um...

That stuff I said about us and Maeve,
I'm really sorry.

It was pigheaded of me,
and I was panicking,

and that sometimes
makes me say stupid things.

But I... I really think we still have
a chance of winning this thing

if we can move past it.

I'm working for someone new now, Otis.

- [Connor] Take a badge.
- [O] Stick it in your eye.

Oh, come on. Be reasonable.

- Who put you up to this?
- Nobody. I'm an independent.

You?

No. No, you can't just join the race.
That's against the rules.

[Ruby] There are no rules, Otis.

And Connor is no less worthy
than either of you two.

- But I have had my channel for years.
- No, okay...

- I've been around therapy my entire life.
- Actually, my dad's also a therapist.

And I have my own video channel,
mostly about gaming.

- But Ruby's helping me rebrand.
- [mouths] Rebrand. Yes.

She took me shopping.

Connor, no one's gonna vote for you.

Sorry. We're more likely to vote for him
than either of you two.

You're both super problematic.

- [Otis] Excuse me.
- [O] I am not problematic.

And we have free beanies!
Free beanies for everyone!

- [Connor] Vote Connor! Vote Connor!
- Ah, Jesus.

Vote Connor! Vote Connor!

- Enough.
- Oh yeah!

I've figured it out.

The meaning of life?

No, what I wanna take photos of.
I've taken my first ones. Can I show you?

- Aren't we not supposed to be talking?
- No, Maeve says we can be friends.

Yeah.

Let's go!

[woman]
♪ Hush, little planty, don't say a word ♪

♪ Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird ♪

[Aimee laughs]

[indistinct chatter]

[door closes]

[phone ringing]

- Hello.
- [Mo] Hey, Maeve? It's, uh, Mo.

Uh, the dodgy one.

Yeah, hi.

Sean asked me to tell you
you need to pick your mum up.

Why, where is he?

He's left, took all his stuff. Um...

All right. Peace out.

Oh.

[phone beeps]

[pensive music playing]

Oh. Hi, Maeve.

Hi.

I'm sorry about your mum.

Oh, do cock biters get a free pass
when they've got a dead mum?

How gracious.

So,

these are the jeans
I was wearing on that day

when I was assaulted on the bus.

I keep meaning to throw them away,
but for some reason, I can't.

Every day I feel more like myself,
and, like, that's great,

but sometimes, it feels like

even when I'm doing something I love,

like eating ice cream...

it feels like I'm still wearing them.

Like it never goes away.

So, yeah, this is my idea.

These are brilliant.

Well, you've helped so much.

You're gonna be such a great teacher.

Thank you, but this is all you.

[chime over PA]

[Lakhani] Can students who are taking
the history or geography mock exams

make their way to the first floor?

[curious music playing]

[phone chimes]

[indistinct chatter]

- [woman] Vote Connor.
- [woman 2] Connor.

Talk to me because I don't get it.

[laughs] You're so in love.

[indistinct chatter]

[dramatic music playing]

This way.

[electronic voice] Doors closing.

- [doors close]
- [elevator dings]

[electronic voice] Lift going up.

[elevator rising]

[beeping]

[elevator stops moving]

Hello?

[man] Sarajevo, Belgrade, Sofia.

- Uh, what's the capital of Montenegro?
- Podgorica.

- Are you sure?
- Yes.

It was called Titograd between
1946 to 1992, but we're splitting hairs.

- You got this.
- Thanks.

Viv.

Hey.

Why were you talking to that guy?

What guy? Oh, he was just
asking me questions about the exam.

Oh, because it looked like you were
coming onto him. That's why.

Uh, I wasn't. Trust me.

- Don't lie to me.
- [man] Geography mock this way.

Oh, I think they're going in, so...

[tense music playing]

Don't walk away from me.

You're hurting me, Beau.

[winces] Ow, s-stop.

What are you doing?

Don't be nervous. You'll smash it.

[mysterious music playing]

[O] Hello?

Phone's dead.

[Otis] Are you sure?

No, I, uh, just fancied staying in here
with you for a wee bit longer, Otis.

[Otis] Hello?

Hello?

Oh God.

Oh God.

Oh, we're stuck. We are stuck in here.
We're gonna run out of air, O.

[sucking air]

We're gonna run out of air and oxygen,
and we might die.

- What are you doing?
- Trying to pretend that you're not here.

[panting]

AC/DC. AC/DC. Adam and the Ants.

Bowie, David. Carpenters.

Ugh. It was working this morning.

Well, it's not working now.
It's stuck again!

Look, you're gonna be late,
so if you just take the stairs...

No, I'm waiting with you.

Excuse me. Siobhan, hi.

I've got an exam
in exactly ten minutes' time. Upstairs.

And the shitty lift is broken again.

Right.

- I'll get Principal Lakhani.
- Yeah.

I've had enough of this.

[suspenseful music playing]

- There's mischief in your eyes.
- Hmm.

[Michael] You are now
under exam conditions.

If you have unauthorized items...

I have not revised.

[Michael]...electronic device,
you must hand them in now.

If you do not hand them in,
your results may be canceled.

You should have a question paper
on your desk.

Do not open the question paper
until I instruct you to do so.

You'll have 60 minutes
to complete this exam.

Your time starts now.

- [alarm blaring]
- [screams]

All right. Stay calm, everyone.

Please make your way to the exit,
and leave your exam papers where they are.

- [woman] Oh my God, like, I hate fire.
- [Michael] Single file. Don't run.

Everybody, please remain calm.

Form two very distinctive lines behind me.

We'll descend the stairs, exit outside,
and gather at the muster point.

- Nothing to worry about.
- [man] Is this gonna be all tough?

- Uh...
- [alarm continues]

Right. Uh, that's fine.

Um, we may need to find
an alternative way...

[woman] How do we get out?

- We're going to die.
- No one's gonna... We're not gonna die.

It's annoying, isn't it?

[overlapping chatter]

Not being able
to get where you need to go.

What's... What's happening?
This is very disruptive.

- Ros, can you please sort out the alarm?
- On my way.

I've asked nicely multiple times
for the lift to be replaced,

and nothing has changed.

So, yeah, I'm gonna be
a little bit disruptive,

because, quite frankly, I'm fucked off.

I've got other things
I need to be worried about.

Whether I'm gonna
get a good result on my exam.

- What I'm gonna have for dinner tonight.
- [alarm stops]

Normal everyday shit.

But instead, I'm here wasting my time

explaining why accessibility is a big deal
when it should be a given.

I thought you fixed it.

Yeah, it's just fucked.

I'm not blaming
any one person specifically.

It's everyone's fault.

- What's happening?
- [Isaac] It's everyone's responsibility.

The lift isn't working. Again.

If this college can afford sound baths,
communal harmony bees...

- [woman] Save the bees!
- [woman 2] Sh!

...they can definitely
afford a working lift.

And I know that that's not glamorous,

but it's really important

that when people ask for something
that they need, you listen.

Look, I think this is just
one big misunderstanding.

- "Big misunderstanding."
- [Lakhani] We can fix this.

- You come to us with your problems...
- It's not a misunderstanding.

It's an afterthought.

None of you realized
you'd left me behind just now

when college could have burned down.

I used to sign BSL as a kid,

but when I went to secondary school,
the access just wasn't there.

And I was so embarrassed to ask for it.

So I pretend I'm coping
as well as everyone else.

It's so much work.

Lip-reading, having people speak for me,

no notetaker in class.

It's so draining.

I wish people understood

that our problems come
from barriers in society,

not from our disabilities.

- Who is that?
- I'm not sure. I've never seen him before.

I don't think he goes here.

I'm just very passionate.

Look, I'm going to call an engineer,
and we're gonna sort all of this out.

But in the meantime,
please just get back to your exams.

No. Not good enough.

If Isaac can't do his exam,
I won't do my exam.

Yeah. You know what?
We're not moving until it gets fixed.

["Youth Against Fascism" playing]

♪ And yeah, the president sucks ♪

♪ He's a war pig fuck ♪

♪ His shit is out of luck... ♪

[clapping accelerates]

[Aimee] Oh my God.
Are we doing one of those protest things?

Like the famous naked people in the '60s
with the funny little bums?

♪ We're banging pots and pans ♪

♪ To make you understand ♪

♪ We gotta... ♪

[inhaling]

[water bubbling]

[chair squeaks]

So how do they fit your mum
in there, then?

That's her ashes.

Ah.

Sean and I were supposed to
scatter them together.

Did he...
Did he say anything before he left?

Just that he wanted to try and get clean.

And, uh, if he was gonna stay here,
he wouldn't be able to do that.

Right, yeah.

[chair squeaks]

What's with the plastic?

- Oh, I've got allergies, you know?
- [mouths] Oh.

[inhales]

Do you wanna play Temple of Zoltan?

Yeah. Yeah.

[chair squeaks]

- So...
- [chair squeaks]

[Mo] You're the pink slug.
I call her Sluggy.

[Maeve] Why am I the slug?

[Mo] 'Cause it's pink.

[sheep bleating]

[Adam] Hmm.

[horse neighs]

Wow.

[sniffs]

- [man clears throat]
- Oh.

Hey, mate. Got your hay delivery,
but your tractor's in the way.

- Can you move it?
- Uh...

Tell you what.
I'll be out there in a minute.

Tractor.

[curious music playing]

Okay.

Put that in there.

[engine starts]

[gears grinding]

[brakes squeak]

Okay.

[gears grinding]

Whoa!

[brakes squeak]

What are you doing?

- [Jem] What's going on?
- Are you totally incompetent?

[Jem] Adam, what the hell?
Get down now! Come on, quickly.

What the fuck?

[Adam] I'm sorry.

[Jem] I leave you alone for 15 minutes!

[somber music playing]

"You must keep your promises
and stay true to your core values."

Oh my God, are you kidding me?

[phone chimes]

[curious music playing]

[hammering]

[hammering continues]

[Joy chattering]

- [Joanna] What are you doing?
- I'm taking down the tree house.

Yes, I can see that,
but why are you doing it right now?

Because it's ugly and annoying,
and I don't wanna look at it anymore.

[Joy cooing]

[Joanna] Auntie Jo-Jo will go and help.
Auntie Jo-Jo will go and help. Come on.

[sighs]

- [Jean] What are you doing?
- I'm helping.

You ever used a hammer before?

I know how to use a hammer.

Just turn it around.

- There's a hook on the other side.
- It's a hammer. I know what I'm doing...

[both scream]

[both gasp]

- What have you done?
- [Joanna] You are such a control freak!

No, I'm not! Just get off me!

You have to micromanage everything!

I mean, what kind of person
handwrites a fucking sister contract?

It is anally retentive!

Why can't you just leave me
to use my own judgment?

Because your judgment is famously bad!

And what is that supposed to mean?

Well, okay. How much
was that electric face mask thing?

It was £250, which is actually quite cheap

because it was meant to be £350,
and I got it in a sale.

But you're in debt, Joanna!

[gasps]

I just think that you could... benefit
from some therapy.

Oh my God! Really?

Yes.

I mean, our childhood was not that bad!

Therapy has helped me profoundly,

and I just think that you'd be able
to get some structure in your life.

Yes, yeah, because you have
really got your shit together.

When you're out here
fucking knocking down a tree house

when you should be talking about
the guy who built it,

who thought he was
the father of your child and he wasn't!

How is that person not fucked up?

All I'm saying is that you haven't
dealt with the years of abuse.

And that is why all of this
is just self-sabotage.

Your whole life would be different!

Fuck.

[sighs]

[door opens]

[door closes]

["Volunteers" playing]

♪ Look what's happening
Out in the streets ♪

- ♪ Got a revolution ♪
- ♪ Got to revolution ♪

♪ Hey, I'm dancing down the streets ♪

- ♪ Got a revolution ♪
- ♪ Got to revolution... ♪

Hey. Are you okay?

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

♪ One generation got soul... ♪

Oh my God!

♪ Pick up the cry ♪

♪ Hey, now it's time for you and me... ♪

[gasps] Isn't it wonderful
seeing young people be so passionate?

♪ Got to revolution ♪

♪ Who will take it from you?
We will, and who are we? ♪

♪ Whoa, we are volunteers... ♪

I'm sorry
we didn't realize you felt that way, Aish.

It must be so frustrating.

We're really gonna try a lot harder
to support you.

Thanks.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Is anyone hungry? I'm gonna go see
if the canteen will give us any food.

I'm starving. Yeah. I'll come with you.
I'll come with you.

[gentle guitar strumming]

[dramatic whooshing]

[button clicking repeatedly]

Can you not do that, please?

I really need to get out of here.

Oh, is there somewhere
you're desperate to be?

- Yes, actually.
- Mm-hmm.

My girlfriend's meeting
my mum properly tonight.

Not that it's your business.

[scoffs]

[stomach gurgles]

It's not poisoned. Don't worry.

[unwrapping]

Thanks.

We shouldn't have got
something to put on it?

Nah, everyone likes bread.

I've been meaning to ask
if you're doing okay?

Yeah, you know, up and down.
The T's definitely helping.

- And things are better with my mum.
- Good.

Yeah, I get these flashes
of how good things could be,

but then I remember
it's all out of my control.

And then, I don't know.

I remember I can't get the care
that I actually need to live my life.

[sighs] It's so painful.

So shit.

It is so shit.

[pensive music playing]

I've been thinking
I might just go private.

But I've heard
a lot of different things though.

How much did it cost you?

Uh, mine was about £10,000.
My family paid.

Fuck!

There's no way we can afford that.

- I'm starving. What did you get?
- We have bread.

[students groan]

[man] Is there any filling, or...

Just bread?

- Ooh.
- Thanks.

- Just bread?
- Just bread.

[calm guitar music playing]

[Aimee] Mmm. Mmm.

[sighs]

[laughs] Oh.

There you go.

- Yo.
- Hey.

Would you like some bread?

[static crackling]

[whirring]

Are you okay?

- [Abbi] Babe.
- I keep seeing things, Abbi.

[laughs]

Like, I am getting signs from God.

God is telling me that
I shouldn't turn my back on my community.

That I should get baptized.

I just... I don't know what to do.

Do you want to get baptized?

Yes, but I feel guilty for that.

Like, look at everyone out there
literally fighting for who they are.

Why can't I be like that?

Sometimes I would give anything
to go back to my church.

It was my whole world,
and I miss it so much.

Not everyone can fight, Eric,
and that's okay.

Whatever you decide, I'll support you.

Let's pray on it together.

[inspirational music playing]

I just wanted to say

thank you for everything you've taught me

before I go.

[Jem] What?

What are you talking about?

Well, you know, I'm gonna be fired now,
and I just wanna say thank you.

Fired? Adam. You're not fired.

Look, I think
you're really good at this job.

And today aside,
I think you show good instincts.

So I'm not fired?

No.

But you will be if you keep standing there
wasting my time asking if you're fired.

And don't ever get on that tractor again.

Oh yeah, understood.

[quirky music playing]

[Joanna grunting]

You are so dramatic!

I don't know why
I thought I could ever live with you.

Well, maybe because the alternative
is being homeless,

and I was kind enough to take you in.

- Take me in?
- Yes.

Do you know that Otis,
he begged me to come here

because you are all over the place?

Ha! You have only ever shown up
when it suited you, Jo,

because you are fundamentally selfish.

- I'm selfish?
- Yes.

Dan might be the one,

and you are forbidding me from seeing him!

Every guy you have ever dated has been
the one, Jo, until you run away.

Oh, piss off!

- You piss off!
- No, you piss off!

Pissy knickers!

Jo!

Oh shit. Let's talk about it!
This is ridiculous!

Jo, why won't you talk about it?

Oh, Jo. If you leave now,
there's no coming back.

Oh, don't worry! I'm not coming back!

So much for helping your sister in need!

Do you know you are pathologically
incapable of accepting help!

That's so not true.

And your sister contract can kiss my arse!

- Hi.
- Hi.

Come in.

[fussing]

[Jean] That's better, mud free.

You caught my sister and I
in an unfortunate moment before.

Siblings can really
push each other's buttons.

Otis told me that you lost your mum.

I'm so sorry.

It's okay. She's not lost. She's dead.

I wish people would stop saying sorry.
It's fucking annoying.

Isn't it?

[Joy cooing]

I should go. This was a mistake, I think.

No, I really want to get to know you,

and... I said the wrong thing.

I'm just not myself at the moment.

Of course you aren't.

I mean, when I lost my mum,
I felt so disjointed.

It's like my center had completely gone.

[sighs]

We had a very difficult relationship.

I still couldn't make sense of
the world without her.

[Maeve] Did Otis tell you anything else
about my mum?

No.

She was a drug addict.

Oh, that must've been so hard for you.

I feel relieved

that she's gone.

It's not uncommon
for people to feel relief,

particularly when there's
childhood trauma.

- So I'm not a terrible person, then?
- [Jean] No.

Try not to be hard on yourself.

[Joy cooing]

Can I help with anything?

Yes. How are you at peeling?

Um, yeah. Grade-A peeler. [chuckles]

I thought your girlfriend lived
in America?

Ah, come on. I'm only making conversation.

[sighs]

No, she's moving back to Moordale.
She's gonna start studying at Cavendish.

I thought she was
doing that impressive course thing?

What's your point?

Mm-mm.

Just seems a bit strange.

She must really like spending time
with you to give all that up.

Well, yeah, she does, actually.
We are pretty happy.

Things are going mostly great between us.

"Mostly"?

[gasps]

Are you still having
that sex phobia stuff?

What?

[O] I read that thing
your mum wrote about you.

It's really fascinating.

That is so unbelievably inappropriate.

So I'll take that as a yes, then?

[gasping] Yeah, sure.
We're having some issues.

Sex issues?

Yeah, I...

Yeah, I have this thing.

I had this thing where
I would just get very anxious around sex,

but I dealt with it.

But now it's back,
and I don't understand why.

Mmm.

No, I'm not... we're not doing this.

I'm not. What am I doing, Otis?
I'm not doing anything.

[clears throat]
Why don't we talk about you for a change?

What about me?

Well, I don't know
literally anything about you.

Well, have you ever asked?

No.

Then, what happened with Ruby?
Why don't we start there?

Do you have any idea how awful she felt?

Oh please, Otis.
Don't pretend like you care about her.

You're literally using her
'cause you want to win the election.

How about everything you've said,

making me out to be some kind of meninist.

You got on my mum's radio show.
You literally don't stop.

Like, are you asexual, or was that just
something else to make me look bad?

That's a really, really fucked up thing
to say, Otis.

Otis told me about
the course that you're on.

Sounds prestigious.

- When do you go back?
- [Maeve] Uh, I'm not going back, actually.

I was gonna register at Cavendish today,

but I don't know
if I'm gonna go back to college either.

It's a big decision.

Yeah. I actually might just get a job,
you know, something secure.

Sounds sensible.

[chuckles]

What do you really want to do?

I wanted to be a writer.

Kind of realized it's just so competitive,

and my tutor told me
I wasn't cut out for it.

I'm not gonna waste my time on something
if I'm not good enough, you know?

- Doesn't make any sense. Fuck!
- [knife clangs]

Oh. Ooh.

- Hold on. Hold it under there.
- It's fine.

Let's have a look.

[Maeve] Ah.

[Jean] Sorry.

- I don't think it's deep.
- It's fine.

[sighs]

I don't know why I'm crying.

Such a baby. [chuckles]

It's okay to cry.

It really is.

All right.

- Sorry.
- No, don't be sorry.

Why don't you sit there? We've got...

[sighs]

[Maeve sniffles]

I just feel so stupid.

I kind of convinced myself
that I was special or something,

like I deserved to be there
with those people. I'm just an idiot.

This might hurt a little bit.

Now I don't know you very well, Maeve,

but it seems to me
that you're the kind of person

who has raised herself
from a very young age.

And from what I can tell,

you're doing a very good job.

[tender music playing]

But sometimes
when we haven't been parented securely,

we can suffer from low self-esteem.

Now, you've taken quite a knock,

and that kind of rejection
can feel very painful.

But I would say that

you were good enough
to get into the course in the first place,

and I reckon that you are just as worthy
of succeeding as anybody else there.

[crying] Really?

Thank you.

Why don't you use this?

I think that what you probably need
is someone in your corner,

a parent to tell you
to pick yourself back up,

to stay resilient,

to keep believing in yourself.

And not to let
one teacher dictate your future.

Okay. [sniffles]

[tender music continues]

You know, I do feel awful
about what I did to Ruby.

Why did you do it?

I'd just moved from Belfast,
and I was the kid with the funny accent.

I was one of
the only kids of color in my year,

and I already started feeling
like something wasn't normal.

The other girls were talking about boys
and kissing and crushes and...

There was... There was so much pressure
to behave a particular way,

and I decided that

I needed to become best friends
with the popular girls

so that people didn't notice
that I didn't fit in.

Then I started learning everything I could
about sex and relationships

so that I could pretend
to be like everyone else.

[toilet flushes]

I was quite surprised
that I found it quite fascinating, but

you know, keeping up that facade
was really hard, and...

it is exhausting...

not being able to be yourself.

What are you looking at, bed-wetter?

And when I got into college,
I set up my clinic, and

I still didn't feel like
I could tell people that I was ace.

I mean, who wants to have sex advice
from someone who doesn't have sex?

Sounds like it'd be quite lonely.

[O] Yeah.

I did try to make friends.

But I couldn't let people in
without giving myself away.

So I decided
that I was just better off alone.

I mean, I didn't need anything
except my clinic.

That was my passion. It was my safe place.

Then you just came in
and took everything away from me.

[elevator moving]

[electronic voice] Doors opening.

Fucking Nora. We didn't know
there was anybody in here.

Thank you.

The lift is fixed.

[all cheering, whooping]

Does that mean
we don't have to do our exam anymore?

Well, the exam,
that's been rescheduled to tomorrow.

Aw, what?

We're putting some funding
into replacing the lift.

About time.

[upbeat music playing]

- We did it.
- Yeah.

That was thrilling.

[Aisha] Um,

do you wanna hang out?

Sorry, uh, I thought I was feeling better,
but I'm a bit all over the place,

so maybe I just need
to sleep it off or something.

Okay, um, I'm here if you need me.

Yeah.

[indistinct chatter]

Thanks.

[curious music playing]

Hey, um, I've been thinking
about your penis problem.

Okay. I don't really need
your input for that.

Right, but your mum said
that your dad left when you were younger.

- And that she really struggled.
- Yeah, she did.

She had a breakdown, basically.
It was terrible. What's your point?

Well, I don't think
that you're afraid of having sex, Otis.

I think you're afraid you're gonna
get your heart broken like your mum did.

And I know that you don't really
want advice from me,

but I think you should just
let that fear go,

'cause you can't love anyone without risk.

Stop getting in the way of yourself.

[Conor] Ruby, help! Make them stop.

It's okay. One at a time.
Okay, right. We will get to all of you.

I can't believe
he's actually gonna win this thing.

Yep. Guess that's my karma.

I know you made a mistake.

But no one's better off alone.
You should just apologize.

Yeah, well, see you around, Otis.

Adam.

I've been trying to call you.

[blows raspberry]

- [Michael] Are you all right?
- [Adam] No!

No, I'm not.

I messed up at work today,
and the first thing that I thought

is I'm going to disappoint my dad.

You have made me feel like
I'm shit at everything since I was born.

I don't wanna feel like a failure anymore
because I'm not a failure.

You're a failure.

You are just a sad man
who does a job that he hates

because he's too afraid
to do anything else.

[emotional music playing]

I thought you were interested in me,
but you weren't.

It was all just about
getting back together with Mum.

- Adam, that's not true.
- [Adam] It is true.

You don't like me,
so just stop pretending.

[door opens]

[door closes]

Anyone home?

Mum?

[curious music playing]

Whoa.

Jerome?

[door opens]

I'm home!

- [Jean] Hello, darling.
- [Maeve] Hi.

Hi. Sorry. I'm so late.

[Jean chuckles]

It's all right.

Hi. Uh, I got stuck in a lift.

Oh. Maeve and I
have been having a nice time.

[Maeve] Mm-hmm.

- [Otis] Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Shall we eat?
- [Otis] Please. I'm starving.

[ballad playing]

♪ Love was a battlefield ♪

♪ Where soldiers get hurt for real ♪

♪ I was only 14 years old ♪

♪ You know what old scars can do, babe ♪

♪ Open and bleed like new... ♪

[knocking at door]

I think my parents have been lying to me,
and I might know who my dad is...

- Viv?
- [sniffles]

Shit. What's happened?

[sobbing]

You were right about Beau.

[sniffles]

It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay.

[ballad fades]

Nice collection.

- Nice T-shirt.
- Hmm.

Dinner was fun.

Yeah.

You okay?

I think I'm going back to America.

Okay.

I don't wanna lose you, Otis.

You won't lose me.

It's just a few weeks.

We'll figure it out. We did it before.

It was always my dream
to get out of Moordale.

I love it so much out there.

I feel so different. I feel like

the best version of me.

Are you saying you don't know
if you would come back?

We can still make it work though.

[sniffles]

I don't know that we could.

I would feel like I'm holding you back.

I think we both know that

it would be too hard.

["Last Goodbye" playing]

I love you.

[Maeve cries]

I love you.

[song builds]

♪ This is our last goodbye ♪

♪ I hate to feel the love between us die ♪

♪ But it's over ♪

♪ Just hear this and then I'll go ♪

♪ You gave me more to live for ♪

♪ More than you'll ever know ♪

♪ Well, this is our last embrace ♪

♪ Must I dream and always see your face? ♪

♪ Why can't we overcome this wall? ♪

♪ Baby, maybe it's just because
I didn't know you at all ♪

♪ Kiss me ♪

♪ Please kiss me ♪

♪ Kiss me out of desire ♪

♪ Baby, not consolation ♪

♪ Oh, you know it makes me so angry ♪

♪ 'Cause I know that in... ♪

[emotional music playing]

[whispers] Otis.

I have to go.

Okay.

I'm gonna close my eyes.

I don't think I can watch you go.

Bye, Otis.

Bye.

[sighs]

[Maeve] Morning.

Hi, love. What are we doing here, then?

I'm going back to America.

I have to put something right
before I leave.

[sighs]

I owe you both an apology.

I've been acting like a tiny baby child
for the past couple of weeks,

and I realize I wasn't upset

at the thought
of you two being together at all.

I was more upset
at the idea of losing you both.

I kind of realized
that you're the only family I have left.

Maeve, you could never lose us. Ever.

No.

Okay, good.

I think you two
should definitely explore this.

You don't need my permission,
but it makes a lot of sense.

And also, um, would you mind helping me
scatter my mum's ashes today?

- Right. Yeah.
- Of course.

Thanks. Okay. We can stop being weird now.

[Aimee clears throat]

- [Isaac] Morning, by the way. Hello.
- Morning.

[crows cawing]

♪ When the fire inside
That burns so bright... ♪

[Isaac] You didn't want
anything a bit more scenic?

No. I've got great memories of Mum here.

♪ It can be hard to see... ♪

It'll give me an excuse to visit you two.

[sighs] Okay.

♪ So you may not be afraid ♪

♪ Of walking in the darkness ♪

♪ You will feel like
A stranger in this world ♪

♪ You can try to carve
A faith out of your own ♪

♪ But a broken spirit... ♪

[Isaac] Bye, Erin.

Bye, Erin.

♪ And the edges of the night... ♪

Bye, Mum.

♪ You know I may not around
This time tomorrow ♪

♪ But I'll always be with you ♪

♪ When the hope that you hold tightly to ♪

♪ Has all but vanished ♪

♪ And there no words of comfort
To be found ♪

♪ You will know what it means ♪

♪ To be lost and without love ♪

♪ May you fight to kill
Their deafening sound ♪

♪ But our only dreams of yesterday
Are gone ♪

♪ They still haunt us like
The ghost of Babylon ♪

♪ And the breaking of the day
Might bring you sorrow ♪

♪ You know I may not be around
This time tomorrow ♪