All language subtitles for Lois.&.Clark.The.New.Adventures.of.Superman.S03E08.Chip.Off.the.Old.Clark.1080p.HMAX.WEBRip.DD.2.0.H.265.-EDGE2020

[instrumental music]

It's funny
about this thing.

When I look down
at it everyday and..

...I'm almost surprised
to see it there.

I think about what it means
and about you.

And how long it took you
to finally put it on.

Yeah, that, too.

We've been through a lot.

"A lot?"

Lois, salmon swimming upstream

haven't had the mating
troubles we've had.

Yeah, well, now
we're just an old

almost-married couple

and we'll be like this forever

you cooking, me watching.

What, you're never cooking?

Mm, it's not really
something I do.

I thought it was
just lack of time.

No, no. Lack of talent.

Well, I guess, there's all kinds
of things about you

I still have to find out.

And me about you.

You don't have any really
big surprises, do you?

Did I mention the flying?

I only marry men who fly.

[telephone rings]

- Mm.
- Mm.

Hello.

Hi, Jimmy.

Yeah...I'm kind of busy
right now.

Uh...yeah.

Okay. Fine.
Fine, fine, fine. Bye.

Jimmy says that we have
to turn on Channel 6 right now.

Uhh, wait, I was just about
to find out

all this juicy stuff about you.

(man on TV)
'Tonight, a top copy exclusive.'

'We take you live to the home
of Miss Leigh-Anne Stipanovic.'

Yes, it's true.

I can remain silent no more.

I..

...had Superman's love child.

[dramatic music]

[theme music]

[explosion]

[music continues]

These years have been..

...so hard, you know.

I mean, 'course
we've always hoped

Superman might give us
a little loan

or somethin', you know, to help
us get back on our feet

but, mostly I just
want him to..

...see his boy.

(Perry)
'Hey, hey, hey. Hey.'

Turn that trash off.

What? Chief, you don't think
there's a story here?

Jimmy, the story
is the crazy times we live in.

When anybody can
get media attention

with a cock-and-bull
story like that.

Daily Planet, by the way

is not gonna waste
one drop of ink on it.

Hey, C.K.
What do you think, huh?

I mean, if I had Superman's
powers, his looks

tight pants,
women falling all over me.

I sure might be tempted, too.

Or not.

Probably not.

Wouldn't be something
I'd think about.

Alright, can we get back
to the news here?

Clark, the president
of Tanzor's in town

for the signing the peace treaty
with Fostonia.

They've been enemies
for a century.

There's diehards on both sides

that don't want
that treaty signed.

That's why I want
you and Lois on it.

Now, how's the, uh, engagement
thing coming along, by the way?

You two must be happier
than pigs in slop, uh?

Oh, Lois, I was just saying
how happy you two must be.

What? Oh.

I-I'm sorry, Chief. I just
di-didn't sleep much last night.

Me, either.

Perry wants us to cover the
president of Tanzor's arrival.

Fine.

Hey, Lois, what'd you think
of that babe

who says she had a Superman's--

Jimmy.

Oh. "Babe."

Is she a babe? I don't.. Clark,
do you think she's a babe?

I don't know.
I-I barely noticed.

Whoa, you didn't notice?
Hello?

How could you possibly..

...not notice?

You alright?

Lois, we talked about this
last night.

I know.

Okay, so, we'll go cover
the president's arrival

and try to forget
that this whole thing--

Look, the story's as good
as written.

The guy arrives, he waves,
he says "Peace is good."

Surprise, surprise.
It's not a good use of our time.

Oh? What might be
a better use of our time?

Well, maybe we could,
you know

check out this
Leigh-Anne person.

No! Lois, Perry's right.

Covering it will just
give her credibility.

This whole thing
will be over tomorrow.

Well, see, I think that's naive.

I think our job
is to expose her as a hoax

you know, to prove to the world
that, that my fiancee

the man that I love would

would never do
what this woman said he did.

Of course, he wouldn't.
I-I-I didn't.

Lois, trust me,
this whole thing is gonna die.

Yeah and I'm gonna be the one
to kill it.

[intense music]

[music continues]

Perfect.

[indistinct chatter]

David Nemeth?
Extra's covering this?

Hi, Lois, well, I've covered
some tragedies before

in my time but this..

Oh, jeez!

I forget. Which one of you kind
people did I say was next?

Excuse me. Excuse me.
Hello. I'm Lois Lane.

Lois Lane?

From the Daily Planet?

Oh. Come in.

I feel a woman
should tell my story.

- I'll be right with you.
- 'No, wait, wait.'

Just keep repeating to yourself

"Hoax, hoax, hoax."

Hoax, hoax, hoax.

(Jesse)
'Mama, look!'

Jesse, honey, put it down.

Oh! Excuse me.

Well? Well?

I don't know.
It's impossible!

Impossible.
Impossible?

Why do you keep saying
everything twice?

(Leigh-Anne)
'Jesse, honey, help mama
pick these things up.'

Uh, hi, Jesse.

I'm Lois. I'm here
to be your mom's friend

so that she'll tell me the real,
true story about your life.

I don't like you.

Oh. Oh, come on.

I'm sure you don't mean that.

Yes, I do.

I see.

I like him.

Wow! He's usually so shy
around strangers.

(Jesse)
'He's my pal.'

[chuckles]

Well, shall we begin?

You want to play in my room?

(Clark)
'Sure.'

So..

...Jesse, you're pretty strong.

How'd you get to be so strong?

Want to play catch?

Gee..

...and you're so fast, too.

(TV announcer)
'We now bring you live coverage'

'of the Metropolis
peace conference.'

'We're at the Tanzorian
consulate building'

'where President Florio
has just arrived.'

'Tomorrow he signs the peace
treaty with Fostonia'

'with whom his country
has a long history'

'of hostile relations.'

'Today's ceremonies
include a welcome'

'from federal and local
government officials'

'and a meeting
with the secretary..'

[instrumental music]

[buzzing]

Bad noise.

What noise, honey?

I don't hear anything.

Lois, I'll be right back.

[buzzing]

Right this way, Mr. President.

[whoosh]

[buzzing stops]

Mr. President,
are you alright?

Ye-ye-yes. Yes.

One of my men acted

very quickly and..

...wh-where did he go?

Hoo-hoo. Honey, he spoiled me
somethin' awful.

Cheese from France

and chocolate
from Switzerland.

'Course, you know, he can get
to all those places

in just two shakes, you know.

Uh, ye-yes. I'm-I'm familiar
with that.

But I'd just keep saying
to him, "Super.." I'd say

I called him "Super."

"Super, honey,
the gifts are nice"

but I want you to love me
like an ordinary man."

and you know what he would do?

He would...cook for me.

He-he would...cook for you?

[gasps]
Please, I beg you

don't ask about
our intimate relations.

Suffice it to say

they don't call him
"Superman" for nothin'.

- Sugar, you okay?
- Uh, yes. Yes, I'm-I'm fine.

I mean, I can understand if he's
no longer in love with me.

"A flame that burns so bright
only burns so long."

But...I have my little boy
to think about.

Uhh, you know,
in-in fairness to Superman

y-you haven't really
offered any hard proof

that he even knows you.

No?

What about, uh, this?

Now, don't you go
printin' that.

National Inquisitor
and Tattletale Weekly

they're fightin'
for the rights to that, though.

[instrumental music]

It is unthinkable
you failed today.

We didn't hire you
for failure.

Now the old fool's canceled
most of his public appearances.

Oh. But not all of them.

Fostonia is the historic enemy
of my country.

There must be no peace treaty.

You are paying me
to launch a nuclear missile

from your country which will
destroy the capital of Fostonia.

Who is going to sign
a peace treaty?

But you need
the launch codes.

'And only our president
has them.'

And security around him
has been tripled.

Well, then I'll just have to be
a little more creative, won't I?

I'll get the damn launch codes

as soon as I get my hands
on a little super help.

[instrumental music]

Well, I know this is tough
for you, Leigh-Anne

but...were you and Superman
really in love?

Oh-ho, brother, can you believe

the whole country's running
with this thing?

Well, still,
these must have been

tough years for you though, huh?

Oh, it's so hard when your
little boy turns to you

and he says,
"Mama, why can I fly?"

"Why can I break steel bars
over my head?"

"Why wasn't I hurt
when Uncle Luke shot me?"

And you felt you just couldn't

keep this heartbreak
to yourself?

Yes, my personal code
of morality

would let me cover
for Superman no longer.

You may quote me.

Well, this is television.

Lord help me,
I pulled Lois off that

peace conference to cover it.

Oh, Lois, you got that
Superman story yet?

I guess.

I know, honey, it's all
a bit demoralizing

when one of our heroes falls.

You don't know the half of it.

You are aware there's a chance
Superman didn't do this.

Now, Lois, you and I have been
news people long enough

to know that if it looks like
a duck, quacks like a duck..

...tastes good with plum sauce,
it is a duck.

(Clark)
'What's a duck?'

Well, I was just telling Lois

she shouldn't let her friendship

with Superman cloud her

'professional objectivity.'

Why? Did she judge him
and find him innocent?

Not exactly.
The jury's deadlocked.

See, that's exactly
why we shouldn't

put people on pedestals.

But, you know,
I guess even Superman

is entitled
to a checkered past.

So, what did you dig up
on that kidnap attempt?

Uh, the Tanzorians think that
it might be the work

of a radical group
inside their own country.

Lois, I do not have
a checkered past.

Perry's right,
people shouldn't expect

more from Superman
than any other guy.

Pretty sophisticated work
for a radical group.

Word is, they may have hired
that terrorist, Anonymous.

I-I thought we put this whole
thing behind us?

Yeah, while your shadow's behind
you and you can't shake it.

I thought they kicked Anonymous
out of the United States.

He may have he kicked
himself back in.

It's easy to do.
He's a master of disguise.

No one's ever seen his face.
No one knows his voice.

Lois, I can handle anyone else

thinking what they wanna
think about me

but ,you can't tell me
that you think--

I don't know what I think.

What you do know

is that I love you.

But what about before?

I mean, neither of us was born

on the day we fell in love

so I guess I don't have

the right to get upset about
something

that happened before then.

But it upsets me.
It really upsets me.

And everywhere I go, it's all
I hear, and it upsets me.

You mentioned that.

Lois, the thing is..

...I wouldn't lie to you.

See, the thing is, you did

every day, for three years.

And..

...and there's this.

The guys in the photo lab
assure me it's authentic.

Lois, do you have any idea
how many

thousands of people
I've posed with?

Uh, do you have any idea
how many toddlers

can balance a sofa
on their pinkie finger?

Look, I'm-I'm tired
and I'm pretty emotional.

And I just, I'm gonna go
home and pace.

Okay, fine, then we can--

Alone.

I'm sorry. I just
need to clear my head.

[intense music]

Jimmy!

[whistling]

Boy! I must be in trouble
if the cavalry's here.

Oh! Hi, sweetie.

- Hi.
- Oh!

- Are you okay?
- Fine.

We never watch
those tabloid shows.

- Hello, boy.
- Hi.

But the Smallville press

has turned it's whole front page

over to Superman's love child.

I do not have a love child.

Of course, you don't.

- It's an impossibility.
- It's laughable, really.

Laughable?
Guys, come on. I mean..

I have dated.

- Ohh.
- No, no, no.

What we mean is, we raised you
to be responsible.

If anything like this did occur

we know you'd live up
to your obligations.

And if you say this woman
is not the mother of your child

she's not the mother of your
child. It's just laughable.

- How's Lois?
- Not laughing.

Oh, well, of course she'd be

bewildered by all this.

You just have to expect that.

(Clark)
'Well, you know Lois.'

'She wants an explanation
for everything.'

And the only explanation
that I can give her

on this whole thing
is.. I don't know.

Mom, how old was I when I
started...lifting couches?

Oh, gosh, honey, I think
it was junior high

before you did
any serious lifting.

And then it was rarely
furniture.

You usually leaned
towards kitchen appliances

the freezer, I think.

Maybe this kid's
not even from earth.

Maybe I'm not the only person
from Krypton here.

I.. Help me out here.

Clark. Clark, don't
make yourself crazy.

There's no truth in this.

So what are you guys saying,
that I should just

sit back and do nothing?

Of course, not.

We're here to support you

and fight this little hussy
with everything we've got.

Mom!

Wow!

Son, science is on your side.

The answer is simple.
It's DNA.

Hm.

DNA test?

They want Jesse
to take a DNA test.

And that is exactly why

you need me and my law firm,
Ms. Stipanovic.

Son, could you possibly

loosen your grip
on Uncle Donald's leg? Ha ha.

Son? Son? Spunky, isn't he?

Oh, boy. Well, maybe I should
hire you, Mr. Rafferty.

Up until now,
my cousin Bobby Bob

he's been handling
all my legal affairs.

But he's still
in correspondence law school.

And they haven't mailed him
the chapter on blood stuff yet.

And Jesse does seem
to have taken a shine to you.

Yeah.. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

'Uh, Mr. Rafferty,
as you can see'

that test is for later today.

Now, isn't there
some sort of...writ

or judge-type thing you can do,
just to delay it, you know?

Uh, my dear, you have
nothing to worry about.

Son, the grip?
I'm losing all feeling.

Uncle Donald, do you wanna play
with my frog?

Uh, the test will either show

that Superman is the father
or not.

And how's that last one, uh,
a good thing?

Oh, well, I will bring in
opposing experts

to argue that the DNA tests
are inconclusive

or contaminated
or the result of tampering

or part of a conspiracy.

Is that legal?

My dear, it's the backbone

of the entire legal system.

But we won't have to worry
about that, will we?

Because the little tyke

is the son of Superman,
isn't he?

Of course, yeah.

It is just that my family
doesn't do so well on tests.

Aah! So cute.

How old is he?

[chanting]
'Superhero, Superzero!'

[whooshing]

Superman!

[indistinct chatter]

Okay. Okay.

Okay!

All of you know me

and what I stand for

and...what I won't stand for.

I've always tried to protect
the weak and the helpless

and that's why I'm here today..

...to protect this little boy
from any more of this.

(male #1)
'Look!
It's Jesse and Leigh-Anne!'

Alright, please, please,
back up. Back up.

We're here for the truth

and not for publicity.

Hello.
Hello, everyone. Hello.

Come on up, angel. Say hello
to all the nice people.

Perry told me to cover this.

I hate it as much as you do.

The irony is

there's really only been
one woman in my life

and she's wearing a ring.

Ho-ne-e-ey! Oh!

Oh ho ho ho! Oh!

Oh!
I cannot stop myself.

As much as you've shunned me

I still have love
in my heart for you.

Oh! Look, angel, look.
This is daddy!

Ms. Stipanovic, please--

Oh, darling, don't you be
so formal!

You certainly weren't
in your love letters

which I'm gonna be reading
from tonight on Nightline.

(Jesse)
'Go away! I don't like you!'

Hey, what are you doing! Aah!

[indistinct chatter]

I don't like them.

Uh..

Sometimes it's hard, isn't it?

Being different?

Sometimes it's...scary.

And sometimes...you get mad.

And it'd be easy to hurt people
because you're so strong.

But...see..

...the cool thing is that
we can do good for people.

And most people, Jesse

most people are good.

Even those crazy ones outside.

So..

'...any questions?'

Are you my daddy?

Hello, Superman.
Jesse.

We obviously won't be drawing
blood from you.

I take it Jesse's skin is also
impervious to puncture?

Yes.

Though, why that is,
I-I have no idea.

No, really.
I-I have no idea.

You said you can do DNA tests
with hair follicles. Correct?

That's right.

I-I talked to Jesse, and he's
agreed to do the same thing.

Excellent!

We'll do our best to rush
the tests along, Superman.

The results will be
quite definitive.

Incontrovertible, really.

That's great.

And I can expect
the results when?

Based on what I suspect to be
the complexity

of your cell structure,
uh...four to five months.

- A year, tops.
- What?

[intense music]

(automated)
'Hi, this is Clark Kent.'

'I'm not here,
but leave a message'

'and I'll get
right back to you.'

[beep]

'Uh, Mr. Kent,
this is Leigh-Anne Stipanovic.'

'I know you're a friend
of Superman's.'

Um...please tell him
it's urgent, I'll meet him

in courthouse park today.

At 3 o'clock, okay?

Thank you so much.

[phone ringing]
'Mama, where do you want this?'

Jesse, put that freezer down.

(Jesse)
'Okay.'

- Hello.
- 'Miss Stipanovic?'

- Mm-hm.
- This is Superman.

I feel badly about today
and I'd really like

to clear some things up.

Could you meet me in courthouse
park at 3 o'clock?

I'd appreciate it.

Okay.

I'm glad we're finally
gonna talk about this.

Yeah.

You first.

Leigh-Anne, what is it,
exactly, that-that you want?

What every mother wants.
A future for her son.

And that's commendable,
but he's your son, not mine.

Do you have any idea what
raising Jesse's been like?

Before I got pregnant,
I had prospects.

I know you probably don't know
this but I was a runner-up

in the junior miss
stenographer pageant.

I-I didn't know that.

I had my sight set on being

a star search spokes model.

Now that's just a dream.

Leigh-Anne, a lot of people work

and raise a child.

Jesse's not just any child.

And...since he got
the way he is, I just..

...I can't keep him in clothes,
'cause he grows so fast.

Can't keep a roof
above our heads

'cause he just,
he wrecks every place.

I can't keep a job

because...no day care
center will have him.

Well, I'd like to help,
if I could, but...how?

Well, you're
a big celebrity.

How do you think?

Leigh-Anne, I don't have money.

I don't have credit cards
or a shoe box full of cash.

Does this look like the wardrobe
of a rich man?

Oh, dear.

My attorney said
I'd have to file a lawsuit.

Well, then it'll be a lawsuit
based on a lie.

I don't think
I see your point.

Look. There's still time
to get out of all this

before Jesse gets hurt.

Hurt him?
I'm helping him.

We have a book offer.

We have a movie
of the week deal.

There's a kid's
clothing company

that wants to do a "Jesse" line.

I can give him the kind of life
I never could have dreamed of.

I see the way people are making
money out there.

Who am I,
the last girl scout?

I don't think so. Unh-unh.

I'm sorry that you feel
this way.

I-I thought you called me

because you changed your mind.

Me call you?
You called me.

No, you left a message for me
with Clark Kent.

No, I did not.

[intense music]

What's going on here?

Where's Jesse?

Jesse! Jesse!

He was with his attorney,
Rafferty when you left him?

Yes, Mr. Rafferty said
he was gonna babysit

and now they're gone!

Jesse!

My God! If anything
happens to Jesse..

- Any clues?
- Uh-uh. No.

(male #2)
'Okay, ma'am. Let me see
if I have this right.'

You, uh, might wanna
check this out.

I'm not sure what it is.

Some guys in a news van
saw the lawyer, Rafferty

drive off a couple of hours ago.

Nobody thought anything of it.

Why would he do that?

Extortion, probably.

Oh, Leigh-Anne, we're gonna get
Jesse back for you.

This is all my fault.

This is...all my fault.

It's strange.

I mean, he's not my son, but..

...I do feel close to him.

In a way that's..

...just a way I can't explain.

Maybe it's because

you lived what he's living.

Or maybe it's because

you're the most caring person
I ever met.

And the most honest.

I amaze myself sometimes.

I'm so used to having
to track down the truth.

Always thinking that things
aren't what they appear to be.

I forget sometimes
that the truth

is just...staring me
right in the face.

And the truth is?

The truth is what you tell me.

And what I tell you.

Because that's the kind
of relationship we have.

Lois.

The best day of my life

was the day that you found out

that I am Superman.

It meant...no more secrets.

I'm done hiding
things from you.

I know.

Guess I'm just still
getting used to that.

Come on.

(Jesse)
'I don't wanna play that!
I wanna play this!'

[crash]

We're almost in.

[glass shattering]

Tanzor's missile system

has a highly sophisticated web

of alarms and shunts

that must be handled

with utmost care.

(Rafferty)
'Hey, kid, put that down!'

(Jesse)
'I want mommy.'

(Rafferty)
'Mommy is still'

'at the toy store'

'buying you lots
of surprises.'

'So we just have to wait
a few more minutes.'

'Okay?'

- 'Throw me the ball.'
- 'Okay'

- 'Here, Uncle Donald.'
- 'No, kid! No!'

[computer beeping]

[automated]
'Missile launch sequence
activated.'

- I'm in.
- What?

Oh, that's wonderful.

And now all you need
are the launch codes.

And we'll have them.

Well, that was excellent work,
my boy.

Excellent work.

Yeah, well, don't bother
thanking me.

Just send the cash.

Good luck with the kid.

He was starting to give me
a headache.

Really? Then by all means,
take two of these.

[gunshots firing]

Check's in the mail.

Okay, thank you.

Well, that's it.

There's no Donald Rafferty

at any law firm in Metropolis.

He may be faking more
than his law degree.

What do you mean?

The forensic report
just came back

on the stuff you found
at Leigh-Anne's.

Sure has a distinctive smell.

Only to a supernose.

Anyway, it's the same
kind of putty

used by professional
make-up artists.

Or masters of disguise.

Like that certain
master of disguise

rumored to be in Metropolis
for the peace conference.

Anonymous.

You don't think
he has Jesse?

Excuse me. I hate
to be a bother.

But I just can't sit at home.
Is there any news?

Uh, nothing
that we can confirm.

But, everyone's looking
for him, Leigh-Anne

especially Superman.
Excuse me.

C.K, I got news.

Three listings
for ding dong motels.

- Joplin, Missouri.
- Never been there.

- What?
- Uh, nothing. Go on.

Um, Lincoln, Nebraska

'and Traverse City, Michigan.'

Traverse City?

Isn't that where an airliner
almost went down

about a year ago?

Yeah. Big electrical storm.

Superman kept the plane from..

...crashing.

Leigh-Anne, let me ask you

were you and Jesse on a plane
over Michigan about a year ago?

That plane nearly crashed,
didn't it?

Well, yeah.

You were sitting
over the left wing, window seat?

Uh, Jesse was by the window.

It was his first time flying.

Superman rescued that plane.

Then he took pictures
with some of the passengers.

Outside of the motel.

Well, I really
ain't...worth much, am I?

Leigh-Anne, there's no question
what you did

was really wrong..

...but anybody can see how much
you love your little boy.

If Superman presses charges

they could take Jesse
away from me.

I'm sure Superman thinks
you've learned your lesson.

That'd be my guess.

Excuse me.

Clark. That electrical storm.
A lightning bolt must have--

Hit me and transferred
part of my powers

through the plane to Jesse.

Only other time it's happened
is when I've actually been

touching someone,
but obviously..

I was wondering why I felt so
close to him, Lois. Now I know.

I'm responsible
for the way he is.

[indistinct chatter]

[instrumental music]

I'm tired.

Quit your incessant com..

You take a nap when we get home,
okey-dokey?

After our game,
we'll have ice cream

and candy
and jellybeans.

Okay.

You're next. Remember
how we play this game?

- Hug?
- Ohh!

[intense music]

[whoosh]

[whistling]

[groaning]

(Anonymous)
'One more time, Mr. President.'

'I insist you give me'

'your nation's
nuclear launch codes.'

[groans]

Pretty please?

You are a crazy person.

Do, do what you want to me

but there will be peace
between Tanzor and Fostonia.

Now, don't get me wrong.

I couldn't care less about
your little peace treaty.

It's just that I'm being
paid handsomely

to level your opposition.

Well, well, well

well, well, well

well, well, well.

Much as I love doing
things the hard way

perhaps I'll have better luck
doing things the easy way.

[music continues]

Truth serum.

- No.
- Yes.

No, no!

Oh, yes.

(Clark)
Anonymous obviously has Jesse
completely under his control.

There must be something
on this tape that can help us.

Shh. Listen.

(Jesse)
Red choo-choo.

- I don't hear anything.
- I do.

Just before Jesse flew off
with the president

he said something.

He said, "Red choo-choo."

Red choo-choo?

Well, I don't speak kid

but wouldn't you think
that meant train?

Red train? Maybe they're
leaving by train.

Maybe Anonymous has him
stashed at a train yard.

'It's a shot.'

I'll check every train
and train yard on the coast.

Don't go anywhere.

Miss Lane, Miss Lane.

Doctor Klein, he's got
some news. Where's Mr. Kent?

Uh, he's helping Superman
look for Jesse.

We think we got a lead.

Oh, thank you, God!

Oh, Doctor Klein, I already know
the DNA results--

Listen, please!

As I was analyzing
Jesse's hair sample

I noticed that
it's molecular structure

varied throughout the strand.

Apparently, there's been
a gradual, yet steady..

It's easier if I show you.

This end...is about a year old.

[Leigh-Anne gasps]

Now, this part is much newer.

So what are you saying? Jesse's
losing his super-powers.

I'm afraid so.

Well, superman said that
the transfer was imperfect.

So, maybe the results
are temporary.

At the rate
that he's changing

and with this final exertion

Miss Lane, Jesse may be
no safer right now

than an ordinary child.

Oh, God!

Leigh-Anne, we think we know

where Jesse is.

Before he left
with the president

he said, "Red choo-choo."

And right now,
Superman is flying

over all the train yards.

But that might
not be the place at all.

Choo-choo is his word for train

but it's also his word
for smokestacks.

- Smokestacks?
- Yes.

They-they remind him of old

steam engines, so he uses

the same word for both.

I-if Clark comes back,
tell him to meet me

'at the old metro chem plant.'

What?

Tell him to look for

a big red smokestack.

(Mr. President)
'Fif-fifteen alpha.'

(Anonymous)
'Fifteen alpha!'

(Mr. President)
'Twenty six omega.'

Twenty six omega!

'Fo-Forty two sigma.'

Forty sigma.

- 'Oh!'
- 'Oh what?'

- 'Oh!'
- 'Oh what?'

- Oh, my..
- Oh what?

♪ Ohh my papa ♪

♪ To me he was-- ♪

No, no. Numbers!

Stop that! No singing!

♪ Oh my papa ♪

♪ To me he was
so wonderful ♪

(Anonymous)
'Numbers, President,
Mr. President. Hey!'

'Hey! Hey! Numbers!'

'Get.. What is the co..'

'I'm getting frustrated.
Really bad.'

'Oh, God! Stop it!'

♪ Oh my papa ♪

- Uncle Donald!
- Jesse!

Si-Si-Sixty one epsilon.

♪ Uncle Donald ♪

Not now, kid. I am busy.

'Nine delta.'

Nine delta!

I'll have the bleu cheese
on the salad, miss.

[automated]
'Launch codes verified.'

Uncle Donald.

'Jackpot!'

'The system is armed.'

'The missiles
are ready to launch!'

Stand up.

Back away from the computer.

[computer beeping]

Okay.

- Now what?
- Get down on your knees.

Don't move.

I know how
to use this thing.

What's going on here?

Fostonia goes boom!

- Boom!
- Yeah!

Kid, you wanna see
really big fireworks?

- Uh-huh.
- Jesse, come here, honey.

Yeah, yeah, just press
that red button

'for a really big boom.'

No, Jesse, don't!
Those aren't fireworks.

That's a bad thing.

Auntie Lois will buy you some
candy if you don't push it.

No, no. A big boom is better
than candy. Push it, kid!

No, uh, Auntie Lois will buy you
a big sofa to lift, a sectional.

You don't wanna push
that button, do you?

Mm, yeah.

Oh, no, Jesse, don't!

[explosion]

[computer beeping]

Why, you're a regular
mister rogers, aren't you?

It's-it's no use.

It can't be stopped.

Where's the boom?
I want the boom!

Ah, shut up, kid.

Jesse, Jesse.
Auntie Lois needs some help.

- You're bad.
- Yeah? So what?

Well, what do you know!

The little superkid
isn't so super anymore.

- Is he? Pity!
- Go!

No!

No!

[gas hissing]

Balorium phosphide.

It devours oxygen
as it rises.

And now, if you'll excuse me

I've got a fee to collect.

Superman!

[upbeat music]

(Jesse)
Superman!

Superman! Superman!

It's okay, Jesse.

Everything's gonna be alright.

[intense music]

(Jesse)
Help me, Superman!

Excuse me.

Have any of you seen a young boy

or a European gentleman?

They would be with another man.

I think they just
got on the last bus.

It was heading downtown.

Thank you.

Anonymous, I take it?

Superman!
Finally we meet face-to-face.

So to speak.

Where are they?

(Jesse)
Superman!

Why, they're, uh..

Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, that hurts.

I'll deal with you later.

[gas hissing]]

Let's get you out of here.

There's no time.

There's a nuclear warhead

headed for Fostonia. Look.

[computer beeping]

You'll never make it
around the world in time.

Around the world?
You're right.

[rumbling]

[rumbling]

[whoosh]

[automated]
'Missile impact.'

[intense music]

[crowd applauding]

We ought to send
a copy to Anonymous

give him some
meaty jail time reading.

Clark, we just nailed
the biggest story

of the year. Gloat.

Yeah. That's great.

I mean, no, really,
it's great.

But?

Well, I can't seem to find

the big story that completely

exonerates Superman.

It's there. Page 53.

Fifty-three?

Oh, there.

Right between the obituaries
and the auction notices.

[laughs]
Great.

Well, you know what they say
in journalism school

"exoneration doesn't
sell papers."

(Leigh-Anne)
Hey, y'all.

We just wanted to come by
and say thank you

and...ask if you could
thank Superman for us too

and tell him, you know,
that I-I'm sorry.

Come on, you two!
One more smile for the camera?

Oh, no. We are a 100% through
with fame and fortune.

Yeah. Jesse's going back
to kindergarten.

And I'm enrolled
in beauty school.

He's back to normal.
And that's all I want for us.

Until I win the lottery.

Thank you both, again.

- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye, pal.

Hey, don't be surprised if
Superman drops by for a visit.

- See you later.
- 'Bye-bye.'

So...what about us?

Are we going back
to being normal?

Or whatever normal is for us.

Well, let's see.

Before we were interrupted

I was just starting
to really enjoy being engaged.

Yeah, so was I.

So what's normal for a woman

happily engaged
to a really cute guy?

Oh, I know.

[moaning]

Lois, everybody's watching.

Yeah.

Who cares?

[instrumental music]

[theme music]