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This programme contains
strong language and adult humour
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INSECTS BUZZ
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A-hem. Sit down.
4
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,840
I've never had to
call you in here before.
5
00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,760
It won't happen again. What won't?
6
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,520
I-I don't know.
7
00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:36,120
Whatever it was?
8
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,640
I only call people in here
for one of two reasons.
9
00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:39,840
To promote...
10
00:00,41 --> 00:00:42,440
..or to fire.
11
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If this is about the silly walks,
I can explain...
12
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:45,600
Sh!
13
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,960
I'm promoting you
to the market research team.
14
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:55,160
You'll lead the focus group
tomorrow.
15
00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,840
There's been a dropout,
you need to find a replacement.
16
00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,720
Yeah, absolutely!
17
00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:00,800
Thank you!
18
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:02,840
Don't you want to know the campaign?
19
00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:04,640
Yes, yes, no, sorry.
20
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YoggoLad.
21
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The yoghurt for men?
22
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Yes. Is that a problem?
23
00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:12,960
I...
24
00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:18,680
No, no, I love yoghurt,
and I love men,
25
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,080
and I love you! No.
26
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,680
No. Yeah.
27
00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,280
Should...? Yeah, OK, cool.
28
00:01:25,280 --> 00:01,27
You should do something about that.
29
00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:37,520
Aaaah! Oh, fuck off! Yes!
30
00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:40,240
You absolute tosser!
Oh, my God, you got a promotion!
31
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:41,800
Oh, do the silly-walk thing!
32
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,960
No, no, I have to go.
Oh, come on! Come on, do one!
33
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:46,440
You know I'm really shy!
34
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,800
Do a silly walk, please!
One silly walk for us!
35
00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,080
Yeah!
36
00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,600
Go, Jam! Go, Jam! Go, Jam!
37
00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,040
Go, Jam!
38
00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:04,960
So good! Another one, another one!
Yeah, come on, come on.
39
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,280
Stop it! I hate attention!
40
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,200
Oh, you've gone.
41
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:36,920
HORN BEEPS
42
00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,840
Come on!
43
00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:40,600
Get out the road!
44
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,040
Come on!
45
00:02,43 --> 00:02:45,360
Like, when I'm on a date
46
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,320
and I'm in bed with them,
47
00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,160
I always suck my stomach in.
48
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:51,920
Why do you think that is?
49
00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:53,040
I don't know.
50
00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:55,840
I feel like you do.
51
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,360
Because it's vulnerable.
52
00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:00,880
I guess I would
with a life partner,
53
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,600
but not with someone
I'm not committed to.
54
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,280
Do you know what I mean?
55
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:08,520
I've been thinking a lot
about my childhood trauma.
56
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:09,600
Fuck yeah!
57
00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:13,240
Oh, er, that's...
58
00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:16,080
Is that something you'd be
comfortable to talk about?
59
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,200
Take care,
and I will see you again soon.
60
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,440
OK, bye.
61
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:26,080
I thought we talked
about the miming thing.
62
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,040
What was it, trust issues?
That is highly confidential.
63
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:31,120
It's always the parents' fault,
though, innit?
64
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:32,560
Show me.
65
00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,720
"A market research star is born."
66
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,120
Innit?! Yeah!
67
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03,43
Congrats.
I'm going to laminate this.
68
00:03,43 --> 00:03:45,760
Yeah. Seriously, I'm going
to frame it and laminate it.
69
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,200
Get in, get in.
70
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,640
Look, I've got a couple of hours
before my next client,
71
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:52,840
so how about...
72
00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,800
..we put some of your stuff away?
73
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:58,400
Uhh!
74
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,240
Why? This is a lot of stuff. Uhh!
75
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:04,360
Is it? You can put it in...here.
76
00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:06,520
Honestly, I'll be out of here
before you know it.
77
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:07,760
Oh, don't say that.
78
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,440
You can stay as long as you want,
you can keep all your stuff...
79
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:13,840
No, no, no, no, no, no, please,
no, I'm not doing Toro Toro.
80
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:17,680
Please, just a quick one.
You're so annoying. Yeah!
81
00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:21,640
He's coming!
82
00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:21,640
BOTH SHOUT
83
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:23,720
Ah-ha, you vampire!
84
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,200
Vampire! Vampire? He's a bull.
85
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,520
Toro Toro? Oh, my God,
what do you think it means?
86
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:30,400
Vampire Vampire, no? It's a bu...
87
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,280
Wow. This ain't going to work.
No, I know.
88
00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:34,880
No, I'm sorry, we... A what?
All this time, you...
89
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,800
I love your house, you know.
Thank you.
90
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,360
It, like, makes me feel
like an adult. You ARE an adult.
91
00:04,43 --> 00:04:44,280
Come here.
92
00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:50,800
You know, maybe we could make you
being here a more permanent thing.
93
00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:55,720
Are you, um...?
94
00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:57,960
HIGH-PITCHED WHINE BUILDS
95
00:04:57,960 --> 00:04:59,640
Are you holding your stomach in?
96
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:02,520
No.
97
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,680
WHINE STOPS
98
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,520
Love is a lie.
99
00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:09,920
Your partner will let you down.
100
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:13,120
Your children...will abandon you.
101
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,600
And then...death!
102
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,160
A painful death.
103
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,440
So, what is acting?
104
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,120
Acting is pain.
105
00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:27,520
And if the audience doesn't
feel that pain,
106
00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:30,800
it means you are not a good actor.
107
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,080
Yes, Daisy?
108
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,160
Can I go to the toilet?
109
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:37,840
If an actor at the Palladium
wants to go for the pee-pee,
110
00:05:37,840 --> 00:05,41
what do you think,
the audience will wait for him?
111
00:05,41 --> 00:05:43,720
Come on, Daisy! Very unprofessional.
112
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,120
Hai! Hai!
113
00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:48,120
How's she doing without me?
114
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:51,480
She spits every time
I mention your name. Ah.
115
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:55,360
This month, we are going to do
a drama called War Horse.
116
00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:56,840
I have rewritten it
117
00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:58,040
to make it better.
118
00:05:58,040 --> 00:05:59,520
I can't read.
119
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,240
Then you came to the rehearsal
unprepared!
120
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,760
Come on, go to Isaac for warm up.
121
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:07,160
All right,
who's done stage combat before?
122
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:09,400
CHILDREN SHOUT
123
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:11,880
All right, now punch!
Punch like a horse!
124
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,360
Mumsy...! No!
125
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,680
Mum, everyone moves out eventually,
it's normal.
126
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,680
Let her grieve, man!
It's normal for you.
127
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:20,400
I've got good news. I don't
have time for your good news.
128
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,720
You sure? Really big day for me.
Me too.
129
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,880
I'm auditioning Mustafa
for the lead horse.
130
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:26,440
Mum, you're doing it again.
131
00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:28,400
Doing what? Making it about you.
132
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,320
When do I ever make it about me?
133
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:33,160
Go on.
134
00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:41,760
I'm divorcing your dad. What?! Why?!
135
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:45,200
I'm asking him to hang this sign
in the corridor since three months.
136
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06,48
OK, Mum, you can't divorce him
for that. Yeah, she can!
137
00:06,48 --> 00:06:50,640
OK, well, I'm really sorry
to hear about your situation,
138
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:53,040
but at least my good news
has made you feel better.
139
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:55,200
Now who is making it
about themself?
140
00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:00,280
Let's go! Whoa, whoa, whoa,
easy, girl, easy.
141
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:01,760
Be right back!
142
00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,360
Hold up.
143
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,720
Bro, this is great, man.
144
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:07,600
It is pretty cool, innit?
You must be so proud.
145
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07,10
Feel the quality of that paper!
Wow. Yeah? Yeah.
146
00:07,10 --> 00:07:11,840
My colleagues are
really proud of me.
147
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,720
Promotions are great. Innit?
Yeah, you sold your soul. Exactly.
148
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:16,520
Wait, what?
This is how they get you.
149
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07,19
Wait, wait,
what are you talking about?
150
00:07,19 --> 00:07:20,720
Today, you got promoted.
151
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,360
Tomorrow, you're getting
a knighthood.
152
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,640
And the next thing you know,
153
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,280
the bloodshed of colonialism
is on your hands.
154
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,800
MBE, do you know what that
stands for? What?
155
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,400
Member of the British Empire.
156
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:36,360
Oh, OK.
Yeah, so...we done been that.
157
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,160
Are you trying to borrow money?
158
00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:41,120
Just a tenner. Unbelievable!
Dude, come on!
159
00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,560
Give back to the hood.
You need to learn how to fish!
160
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,640
What are you talking about fish?
I don't like fish!
161
00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:47,280
Do you want to make some money?
No. Yeah?
162
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,720
I'll pick you up tomorrow at eight,
show you the real world.
163
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,160
PM? AM!
164
00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:58,880
All right, cool,
I'll just leave it here, yeah?
165
00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:06,560
Son? Yeah?
166
00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:08,520
What? What? Yes. Huh?
167
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,680
What do you want?
You were going to say something!
168
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:11,960
Was I?
169
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08,13
PHONE CHIMES
170
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08,16
I've got to go. It's Guy.
171
00:08,18 --> 00:08:20,680
Anything you want to add?
Shall I send your love to Guy?
172
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,240
My Guy.
173
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:25,920
My boyfriend, Guy!
174
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08,28
I thought his name was Alan.
175
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,360
Cool! Good chat!
176
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:39,800
So your name's Owen. No, it's not.
177
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:41,680
It is, cos that's the guy
who pulled out.
178
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:44,320
Oh, so I'm helping you out?
No, I'm helping you out.
179
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:47,600
Listen... Yeah, I'm listening.
..it's called market research. Yeah.
180
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:50,120
It's a yoghurt for men.
That doesn't make sense.
181
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:53,080
OK, but all you have to do
is eat the thing, say you love it,
182
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:54,840
you get 100 quid! No can do.
183
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,240
Why not? It's dirty money.
It's just a yoghurt.
184
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:58,600
Well, I don't fuck with yoghurt.
185
00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:01,040
Oh, and the demographic is
male professionals, OK?
186
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,760
So don't do your roadman ting,
it's not Chicken Cottage.
187
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,320
You're just profiling me!
And Chicken Cottage.
188
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,640
Just don't be yourself. What?
189
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:11,240
What are you wearing?
You could have ironed your top.
190
00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,800
Whoa! It's crinkle cut.
I made it myself.
191
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,120
Yeah, I can tell!
192
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,840
Wear this, don't take it off.
Oh, really?
193
00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,480
Bro! No, don't call me "bro".
194
00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:24,440
We're not allowed to bring in
family or friends.
195
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,720
It's the real world in there, man.
196
00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:28,200
You've got to bring your A-game.
197
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,200
Yeah?
198
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,440
Johnny! All hail the yoghurt king!
199
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,800
Stop it, Chloe,
you're such a big flirt!
200
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,360
See?
201
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:38,640
Respected.
202
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,360
This is where you work?
Magical, innit?
203
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09,43
Why does it look like a nursery?
204
00:09,43 --> 00:09:45,200
Jam-Jar!
205
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:46,800
Wing-Wings!
206
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,360
Who's the hot new guy?
207
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:50,680
We have a hot new guy?
208
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:53,120
Oh, hey, I'm Isaac.
209
00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:54,480
His brother.
210
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,960
Here for the yoghurt-tasting thing?
211
00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:58,640
That is an amazing coat.
212
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,160
Oh, that's...
Let me take you through.
213
00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:03,360
So tea, coffee, prosecco?
214
00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:05,920
That's actually my amazing coat.
215
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,600
The testicles of mice
fed a yoghurt diet
216
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:14,240
were 10% bigger
than those on a regular diet.
217
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,560
That's whet your appetite, innit?
218
00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:19,400
So this campaign is
a tongue-in-cheek "Oi-oi"...
219
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,320
Oi-oi! ..to all lads.
220
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,400
It's not just yoghurt,
it's yoghurt...
221
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:24,720
BOTH: For men.
222
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:28,120
Genius.
I think it could be our best yet.
223
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:30,560
OK, so slogan,
which one grabs us more?
224
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:34,120
"Hairy dairy" or "Creme de la men"?
225
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:38,320
I like "hairy dairy". Not too
many syllables. Yes, thank you!
226
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,480
Let's keep the syllables
where they belong,
227
00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,160
in the dictionary.
228
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:44,200
Yes, so tuck in.
229
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:47,280
All feedback is welcome.
Be honest.
230
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,920
Yeah. I'll be honest. Great!
231
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:52,200
Dairy industry,
that's a messed-up place.
232
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,480
You ever locked eyes with a cow?
They can hear you.
233
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,960
Of course they can hear me, bro,
government's tapped in.
234
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,600
Hold on, sorry...
Are you two related?
235
00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,360
No! Yeah.
236
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,760
Great. Shall we do the forms? Pat,
do you want to give out the forms?
237
00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,760
Jam's the best bit, anyway.
238
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,720
It must be serious if
she's got him in the jungle.
239
00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:26,320
Do you know
how long he's been in there?
240
00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:27,560
A bit too long, mate.
241
00:11:27,560 --> 00:11,30
She's probably got the hots for him.
Is it just me,
242
00:11,30 --> 00:11:32,760
or his coat the sexiest
fucking thing you've ever seen?
243
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,240
Oh, my God, that is what I said!
244
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,400
Oh, he's coming,
he's coming, he's coming!
245
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,920
What did she say?
246
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,040
She asked me how old I think she is.
247
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:46,600
What did you say? 55.
248
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:47,760
She's 44...
249
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:50,920
..today! Oh.
250
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:52,520
Well, I wasn't going to lie, was I?
251
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,040
OK, great.
252
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,960
Anyway, I'm out. Laters.
253
00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,160
He's your brother? No...
254
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:02,080
Are you calling me a racist?
255
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:06,040
OK, sorry, I only got him in
cos someone pulled out.
256
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:08,400
By the way, I think
this campaign is remarkable.
257
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,720
You know what I like about him?
He's not a suck-up.
258
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,440
Yeah, no, suck-ups are the worst.
259
00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:16,840
And I REALLY like his coat.
260
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:25,160
No, he actually cut the yoghurt
in half. Wow, that's clever!
261
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,960
No, no, no, it's not. Oh, God, no,
sorry, yes, yes, you're right,
262
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,680
I forgot who the baddie was -
what a bastard!
263
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:34,840
He's just doing what my mum does,
barging in, stealing my thunder.
264
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,200
It's attention-seeking, man,
I hate it!
265
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12,39
How's this one? Yeah, it's...
266
00:12,39 --> 00:12:41,320
..it's great,
haven't you already got a coat?
267
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,240
Yeah, I need a better one
for the office party.
268
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:44,920
That one's £370.
269
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,600
Fuck me!
270
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,320
For a coat? Hmm.
271
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:51,160
Do you refunds?
30 days, tag still on.
272
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:52,440
Deal.
273
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,400
What?
274
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,240
What's that look in your eyes?
What look?
275
00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:01,800
Why are you looking at me like that?
I'm not. Yeah, you are.
276
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,480
What? Just that face. What face?
What's that face? It's my face.
277
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:05,680
It's not, though. It is.
278
00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:07,720
It's something different,
that's not your face.
279
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,560
No, it's nothing. I just love you.
280
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,680
Uh...
281
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:15,120
Ooh.
282
00:13,17 --> 00:13:18,600
Sorry, can we just...?
283
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,440
What are you doing?
Sorry, I wasn't...
284
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:23,400
I wasn't actually, uh... What?
285
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,120
..planning on saying that in here.
286
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:26,360
Yeah, no, no, it's fine.
287
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,360
Yeah, it's fine.
Yeah, yeah, I just...
288
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:31,520
Well, it's true, Jamma. I, er...
289
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:34,760
I love you.
290
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:37,560
All right, yeah, cool, yeah.
291
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,520
What?
292
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,280
Nothing, I said...
293
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,040
"All right,
294
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,040
"yeah, cool, yeah."
295
00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:49,280
RUMBLING
296
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,080
Are you...?
297
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:54,080
Oh, shit, careful, careful,
we need to leave, we need to leave.
298
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13,56
Jamma...
299
00:13,56 --> 00:13:58,240
Your house seems smaller!
300
00:13:58,240 --> 00:13:59,880
Well, yeah, it's all your stuff.
301
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:02,880
I-I need to leave.
302
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,800
Where? My mum, the community centre.
303
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,600
Jamma, what time is the party
tonight?
304
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,720
Because, you know,
maybe I should come...
305
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:11,520
The kids! Are you OK?
306
00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:14,600
He's completely freaking out.
What a bellend.
307
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:18,320
HE SHOUTS
308
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,760
All right!
Everyone in formation now!
309
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:27,920
Come on, formation!
Let me see formation!
310
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,840
Jammie, is there something
you need to talk about?
311
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:34,280
What? He just came out with it,
I panicked!
312
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:35,560
Oh, wake up!
313
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:51,640
Can we carry on with the match now?
Jammie's life is more important.
314
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,760
Yeah, Halima,
that was really selfish.
315
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:56,720
OK, everyone, take a deep breath.
316
00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:59,400
Jammie, look at me.
317
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:00,760
Do you love him?
318
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:04,400
I love his face.
319
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:05,880
He's a really good cook.
320
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:07,640
Um... He has a dryer.
321
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,760
But how am I meant to know
what love feels like?
322
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,240
Let me break it down for you.
323
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,400
Think of something you love.
324
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:15,960
Cake. Cake!
325
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:22,280
I have had it, officially!
Come on! Grow up.
326
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,840
What if I'm just using him
to get away from my family?
327
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,560
Jammie, if you do truly love him...
328
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,120
..you have to tell him.
329
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:39,040
I'm a horse, and I declare a war!
330
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:41,560
Yeah, that's not War Horse.
331
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,080
Love is a lie!
332
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:46,320
You're a useless horse,
you must die!
333
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,600
Artistic license, bro.
334
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,160
More passion!
335
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,040
Fire, fire, run!
336
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,880
But we don't know
where the fire exit is.
337
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,920
Well, maybe you should have
hung it up in time!
338
00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:02,160
CHILDREN SCREAM
339
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:04,800
OK.
340
00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:12,360
HEATED CONVERSATION
341
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:31,040
ECHOING: But how am I meant to know
what love feels like?
342
00:16:31,040 --> 00:16,33
Think of something you love...
343
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,520
Mm! Cake!
344
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,160
I love you.
345
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,960
I love you, I love you...
346
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,480
I think if we're going
to live together,
347
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:16,520
I think we should just be really
comfortable with each other.
348
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:18,640
I'm comfortable. Yeah?
349
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,200
Were you going to say something?
350
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:33,640
We're late for the party!
351
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,400
Jamma, Jamma, Jamma, Jamma.
352
00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:44,920
We're good, right?
Everything's fine?
353
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,640
Yeah, we're fine, yeah.
Forget I said anything.
354
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,200
All your boxes, they can stay
where they are. OK, cool!
355
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,560
Help me up!
356
00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:00,400
Jamma! Hey!
357
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:04,880
Oh, wow, OK, OK,
so it's a party party.
358
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,800
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
How's the coat?
359
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,680
Oh, my God, it's so great. Yeah?
360
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:11,120
Can I take your coat, sir?
Absolutely not, no!
361
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:13,400
The cheek.
362
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,520
It's going to be really good
to play as a team.
363
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,960
Yeah, isn't it? It's really good.
Yeah, yeah, really good.
364
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:20,280
OK, if I get stuck with anyone
I don't like, I'll do this.
365
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:24,880
And then you have to
come and get me out, OK?
366
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,840
Yeah, fine, OK, well, I'll do...
367
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,880
If I get stuck with someone,
I will...
368
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,640
I'll do the same. Yeah, OK, cool.
369
00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:33,560
Toro Toro!
370
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,880
Oh, shit on a stick,
you must be Jamma's boy...
371
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,960
Boyfriend, yeah, yeah, yeah.
372
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:43,160
Just so you know, there's absolutely
nothing wrong with...you know.
373
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,120
I actually think it's really cool.
374
00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:46,320
Sorry, just...
375
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18,48
Sorry, erm...
376
00:18,48 --> 00:18:50,240
One sec. OK.
377
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:55,120
So which one of you's
the woman in the relationship?
378
00:18,57 --> 00:18:58,840
Deep state, yeah! Sorry.
379
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,240
Oh, hey, how's it going?
What's up, bro?
380
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,560
What are you doing here?
I invited him, obviously.
381
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,240
Hey, happy birthday!
Don't patronise me.
382
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:07,480
Sorry, no, yeah.
383
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,640
I wanted to talk to Isaac
about YoggoLad.
384
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:13,120
Again, I'm so sorry about
what happened. Basically...
385
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:15,360
Marcus loved it. I loved it!
386
00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:17,720
The whole tearing the packet apart,
very manly.
387
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,560
How did you come up with it?
388
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,040
I just like the jam.
389
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:22,600
Oh, that's awkward, bro!
390
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:25,880
It's not called jam in the industry,
is it? It's called conserve.
391
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,320
I wanted to ask about the magazine.
392
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,840
Can I get a few more copies?
Cos everyone's been bugging me.
393
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,480
Your coat...
Oh, right, yeah, thanks.
394
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19,35
No, no, no, no.
The tag's still on.
395
00:19,35 --> 00:19:36,560
Oh, OK, yeah... I'll get it.
396
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,560
Oh, no, no, no, don't worry.
No, no, I don't mind.
397
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,480
No, do you know what? Don't worry.
398
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,680
You're my boss,
you shouldn't be doing my...
399
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:45,360
There you go.
Oh, that's so kind of you.
400
00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:46,560
Come, Marcus.
401
00:19,48 --> 00:19:51,520
Bro, what the hell? Nah, man,
I'm just here to get my coin.
402
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,760
OK, bro, you just send an invoice.
What's that?
403
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:57,160
Oh...Winnie's found a pill!
404
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,640
Last one, who wants it?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Winnie!
405
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,920
Jesus! He's like, 12 years old!
406
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:04,800
What? No, I'm sorry.
407
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,720
I'm sorry, I did that out of duty.
408
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:10,040
I was not going to take that anyway.
Yeah, sure.
409
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,920
You really don't know who I am,
do you?
410
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,680
I didn't really know my dad,
411
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:22,080
so we don't know who
we're supposed to be angry at,
412
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,880
and so I just took it all out
on my mum. Mm.
413
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:26,760
Yeah, well,
from what you've told me,
414
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,720
it seems like your mum
did the best she could in
415
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,520
very difficult circumstances.
416
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,520
Awareness is
the first step to change,
417
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:39,400
and if these behavioural patterns
no longer serve you,
418
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,920
you have got the choice
to let them go.
419
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,520
Yeah.
420
00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:47,040
HE SOBS
421
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:51,840
Oh. Yeah.
422
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:53,920
So w-w-what do you do as a job?
423
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,280
I'm a therapist.
Fuck off! For real? Yeah.
424
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:58,680
Maybe you could be my therapist.
425
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,520
No, that would be
highly inappropriate.
426
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:03,800
Do you think I should go over there?
It's just been ages.
427
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,880
It's like, you know,
what are they chatting about?
428
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,920
Are you sure you're not too hot
in that thing?
429
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:10,480
No, no, no, totally fine!
430
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:13,520
Jamma! Oh, hello!
I'm Winnie, what do you do?
431
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,600
Hi, Winnie, I'm a...
432
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:19,320
I'm a dentist! Oh, OK!
Yeah. Oh, OK!
433
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,480
Jamma! There you are!
434
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,200
There YOU are! Where you been?!
435
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,680
Well, I've just been having
a really dull conversation.
436
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:28,920
You won't believe what. What?
I dropped a pill!
437
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:32,200
Really? I was going to suggest
we should probably leave.
438
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,400
Come on, we're working as a team!
439
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,720
You've just taken ecstasy. Yeah!
440
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,600
To empathise with you.
441
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,240
Hey, my guys, how's it going?
442
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:43,080
Oh, hi, Isaac. How are you?
Good, man.
443
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,680
Bro, your boss just offered me
a full-time position.
444
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:49,880
What? That's... That's amazing,
Isaac, congratulations.
445
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,120
Well, no, you're not going to do it,
are you?
446
00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:54,120
Because it's like...
colonialism and stuff.
447
00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:56,320
Nah. I'll give it a go.
448
00:21:57,960 --> 00:21:59,560
All right, look, Jamma,
I'm up early,
449
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:00,920
so I'm just going to leave, OK?
450
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,800
Can you believe
how selfish he's being?!
451
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22,05
I'm sorry, no, no, you can't just...
452
00:22,05 --> 00:22:07,240
It's like I don't exist, hello!
453
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,560
Watch the fucking coat!
454
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:12,360
I'm just going to leave. Why?
I'll see you at home.
455
00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:15,600
But we're having fun, man!
Jamma, is that your boyfriend?
456
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,240
Do you think he can look
at my molar? Cos...
457
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:21,800
Hey, are you feeling it?
Yeah, best high of my life.
458
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,080
Oh, my God, I love this song!
459
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,280
Come and dance!
460
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,160
Oh, no, no, no. I can't dance.
No, no. OK.
461
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:31,720
Oh, no, no, no, I just...
462
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,600
No, no, sorry, I'm just...
463
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:34,840
OK, all right, all right!
464
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:39,400
What you're holding
may look like a piece of cake,
465
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:42,320
um, but it's actually
a piece of art.
466
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:45,800
Baking is art,
467
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,720
and-and art is...political.
468
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:51,200
That guy's amazing.
Tell me again...
469
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,280
Fuck's sake, no, he's not!
470
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:55,120
Everyone just fancies him
for some reason.
471
00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:57,240
I like to think that awareness
472
00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:00,120
is the first step towards
meaningful change, right?
473
00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:02,720
And if these behaviour patterns
don't serve you any more,
474
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:04,760
you have got to just let them go,
man.
475
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,680
Anyway, I wasn't talking
about your brother,
476
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:09,680
I was talking about your boyfriend.
What a loving man.
477
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,440
I've got to get out of here.
Hey, dude...
478
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,240
Beautiful coat.
479
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:22,920
It's a little bit gay, though.
480
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,320
HE LAUGHS
481
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,040
Fuck's sake.
482
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,960
SOFT MUSIC
483
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:42,320
MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY
484
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:54,800
MUSIC AND SIRENS
485
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:21,960
Oh, fuck.
486
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:32,400
WOMEN LAUGH
487
00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:40,640
PHONE VIBRATES
488
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,160
Hello?
489
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:46,760
I've changed my mind.
490
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:49,640
I'm not going to divorce your dad.
491
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:51,320
Oh, wow.
492
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:55,080
He really knows how to surprise me.
493
00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:58,800
Isn't it beautiful?!
494
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:03,800
Mum, that's amazing,
495
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:07,120
I'm so glad you could find it
in your heart to just...
496
00:25:07,120 --> 00:25:08,520
Let go.
497
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:09,920
Yeah, exactly.
498
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25,11
Let go!
499
00:25,11 --> 00:25:12,240
Let go.
500
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,120
Don't be weird, Jamal!
501
00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:17,080
Let go!
502
00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:17,080
BELL RINGS
503
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,440
Let go!
504
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:22,120
HE GASPS
505
00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:23,600
Let go...
506
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:33,040
APPLAUSE
507
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,160
Oh, no, Jamma, Jamma, no...
508
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:55,680
I'm up in four hours.
509
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:57,240
I know, just hear me out.
510
00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,400
OK...
511
00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:01,960
You know when you said you loved me?
512
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:06,920
It made me feel...
valued and important and...
513
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:09,560
..I'm not used to that.
514
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,720
So I find it easier
to be a bit of a dick
515
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:18,120
than to admit that...
516
00:26:18,120 --> 00:26,21
..maybe someone actually loves me
for who I really am.
517
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:28,360
But despite that,
I just want to say...
518
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:33,480
SLURRING: ..like, I just fucking
love what you, like,
519
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:37,200
like, I love your hair, your hair's
like, the follicles are so thick,
520
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:41,080
and I would, honestly, no,
like, no, no, no, real talk!
521
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,240
Do you know what I mean?!
It's like...
522
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:45,720
I just really appreciate
your interior design.
523
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:49,200
Let me get you some water.
Yeah. Yeah? Yeah, mm...
524
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:50,440
Yeah! OK.
525
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:53,040
Well, it's just cos you got
to believe in yourself and...
526
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,960
Oh, my God,
your bedsheets are amazing...
527
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:07,800
You know what?
528
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,800
I think I'm ready
to meet your parents.
529
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:15,080
HIGH-PITCHED WHINE BUILDS
530
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:17,680
Aaah! What the fu...?!
36963
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