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Captioning made possible by
a&e television networks
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00:01:04,575 --> 00:01:06,366
(chattering)
3
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:09,402
(clucking)
4
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:17,210
(man)
Oh, you cut me.
5
00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:19,812
Listen, you have
to wait for me.
6
00:01:19,812 --> 00:01:21,548
(man)
Like a baby's bum.
7
00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:22,849
(man)
Have a seat, here.
8
00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:24,584
(man)
Sit up, sit up!
9
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,753
(man)
Oh, you cut me!
10
00:01:29,355 --> 00:01:32,392
(man)
Sorry about that, okay,
we'll fix that up.
11
00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:41,067
(clamoring)
12
00:01:45,838 --> 00:01:48,007
(buzzing)
13
00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:38,324
(Archie Goodwin)
When an early morning
controversy
14
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,059
propelled Fritz
from the brownstone
15
00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:41,361
to the fishmonger's
16
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:43,096
and left me
to fend for myself,
17
00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:45,265
i procured
an egg-and-anchovy sandwich
18
00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:47,000
from the drugstore.
19
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,036
It's very, very nice
to meet your acquaintance.
20
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:55,241
Not yet.
21
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,820
Yes.
22
00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:15,194
(knocking)
23
00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:19,966
You'll have to wait.
24
00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:22,135
(knocking continues)
25
00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:29,942
Mr. Goodwin,
we are here.
26
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:32,979
Yeah, wonderful,
do you have a reservation?
27
00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:34,280
You told me once
people in danger
28
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:35,581
only have to
mention your name.
29
00:03:36,015 --> 00:03:36,883
Yeah, well,
sometimes i talk too much...
30
00:03:37,317 --> 00:03:38,618
and mr. Wolfe,
he is a great man,
31
00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:39,919
two great men.
32
00:03:39,919 --> 00:03:41,654
No, no, he's the great man,
i'm just a caddy,
33
00:03:41,654 --> 00:03:42,955
and i...
34
00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:45,992
oh, oh, yes,
barbershop carl.
35
00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:47,727
The name's carl...
yeah, and Tina, right?
36
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,896
Yes, i didn't recognize you
with a hat on.
37
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,197
We love this country.
38
00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:52,932
We love this country!
39
00:03:52,932 --> 00:03:55,535
Wait 'til you see
chilicothe, ohio!
40
00:03:55,968 --> 00:03:57,270
Is that west?
We want to go west,
41
00:03:57,270 --> 00:03:59,005
but you see,
we don't know where to go,
42
00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:00,306
thisoy-hoymaybe?
43
00:04:00,703 --> 00:04:03,776
We need your help,
i have $50 here.
44
00:04:03,776 --> 00:04:06,379
Please, we must
escape this danger!
45
00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:07,680
We must escape it!
46
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:12,018
(speaking foreign language)
47
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,223
We do love this country.
48
00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:18,958
Sure.
49
00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:22,428
Oh, no, it's fine,
really, no problem.
50
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,332
If you insist...
51
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:30,236
yes... um, now,
tell me about this danger.
52
00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:31,537
I met Tina three years ago
53
00:04:31,537 --> 00:04:32,839
amp
in russia.
54
00:04:33,272 --> 00:04:34,140
I would tell you why,
55
00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:35,441
but believe me
en i tell you,
56
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,176
they would?? Ever have
let us get out alive.
57
00:04:37,176 --> 00:04:39,779
Ahhh,
but you are alive.
58
00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:41,514
They think we're dead!
59
00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:42,815
Vardas
was not our name.
60
00:04:42,815 --> 00:04:44,550
We took that name
back in istanbul.
61
00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:46,719
No places and no people!
62
00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:48,020
Yes, yes, yes, yes,
you are most right!
63
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:50,189
So, at a certain time,
in a certain way,
64
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:51,924
we cross the ocean.
65
00:04:51,924 --> 00:04:54,093
We try very hard
to come to this country
66
00:04:54,093 --> 00:04:55,395
according to your rules,
67
00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:57,130
but it was
in no way possible.
68
00:04:57,563 --> 00:04:58,431
Since we are here,
69
00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:00,166
i could say that we would be
healthy and happy
70
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,335
beyond our dreams,
except for the danger.
71
00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:04,070
We do not know what minute
72
00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:06,239
someone will come
and ask us how we got here.
73
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:08,408
This minute that went by,
it was all right.
74
00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:09,709
No one asked,
but there's the next minute,
75
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,444
and the next minute
and the next minute...
76
00:05:11,444 --> 00:05:12,745
and, now,
the danger has come,
77
00:05:12,745 --> 00:05:14,480
this morning,
a man came to the barbershop
78
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,215
and he asked us questions,
79
00:05:16,215 --> 00:05:18,384
an official,
a policeman detective.
80
00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:19,685
He asked about carl and i,
81
00:05:20,119 --> 00:05:21,854
i told him
we were d.p. S from italy,
82
00:05:21,854 --> 00:05:23,156
but, tomorrow,
he will return
83
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,891
and he will ask
to see our papers.
84
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,192
We can't go back there.
85
00:05:26,192 --> 00:05:28,361
We have to leave
new york, today, now!
86
00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:29,662
Tell him what he asked.
87
00:05:30,096 --> 00:05:31,831
He asked about last night,
about where i was
88
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:34,000
and what i was doing,
from the time the shop closes,
89
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,735
half past six,
from then on.
90
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,904
And he went and talked
to everyone in the shop,
91
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:39,205
he asked the same thing!
92
00:05:39,205 --> 00:05:40,940
We left, we went home
and we packed,
93
00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:42,675
but then we decide
we don't know where to go,
94
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,410
so we decide the best thing
would be to come to you.
95
00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:45,711
And mr. Wolfe...
96
00:05:45,711 --> 00:05:47,447
carl likes you the best
of all the customers.
97
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:50,049
And you only tip him a dime,
so it's not that.
98
00:05:50,049 --> 00:05:51,350
I have noticed you myself,
99
00:05:51,350 --> 00:05:53,085
the way you look, like a man
who would break rules.
100
00:05:53,085 --> 00:05:54,387
Damn it!
Beat it!
101
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:55,688
Don't you get it?!
102
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,857
You left, lone tags you!
103
00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:59,158
What were you doing
last night?
104
00:05:59,158 --> 00:06:00,460
Breaking more rules?!
105
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:02,195
No, we went straight home,
as usual!
106
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,735
(carl)
We were asleep by 10:30.
107
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:12,171
Ah, you're here,
where were you?
108
00:06:12,171 --> 00:06:14,774
You were gone today,
what happened, huh?
109
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:16,943
Oh, you have that look
on your face.
110
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:17,810
Were you being naughty?
111
00:06:18,244 --> 00:06:19,111
Tell me,
tell me, well...
112
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:20,847
what'd you get?
What'd you get, huh?
113
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:22,148
What's the surprise?
114
00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:23,449
Time magazine
for you.
115
00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:25,184
Oh, time magazine,
yes, yes!
116
00:06:25,184 --> 00:06:26,919
Life magazine
for me.
117
00:06:26,919 --> 00:06:28,654
Oh, life magazine,
very good, very good.
118
00:06:28,654 --> 00:06:29,522
No now...
119
00:06:29,522 --> 00:06:30,389
what?
What?
120
00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:32,558
Oh... oh!
121
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,293
An american toaster.
122
00:06:34,293 --> 00:06:35,595
Ah, was it expensive?
123
00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:36,896
No, no, no...
124
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:39,932
look, ah, ha-ha-ha!
Look, look!
125
00:06:39,932 --> 00:06:42,101
Look.
What's this?
126
00:06:42,101 --> 00:06:44,704
Peanut butter,
taste it.
127
00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:49,041
Oh, i love this country.
128
00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:51,210
Oh, it's good,
isn't it?
129
00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:52,415
Well, if you're clean
for last night,
130
00:06:52,415 --> 00:06:54,247
why didn't you just
stay put this morning?!
131
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,548
You are an american,
132
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:59,018
when a policeman
asks you a question,
133
00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:01,621
two people alone cannot
answer a policeman's questions.
134
00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:02,488
They need a country,
135
00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:04,657
Tina and i,
we have no country.
136
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:06,303
Archie, what the devil
is going on?
137
00:07:09,862 --> 00:07:12,031
And his a,
you've seen her too.
138
00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:14,634
Now, they were just...
139
00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:16,369
he's a little grumpy.
140
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:17,670
All right, you bought
yourself a detective,
141
00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:20,273
now, you need
to just stay put.
142
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,574
I'm gonna talk to Wolfe,
143
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:23,309
i'm gonna go
to the barbershop.
144
00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:25,044
I'm gonna try to straighten
this whole thing out.
145
00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:27,647
Now, important,
if you hear a buzzer,
146
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:31,117
bring mr. Wolfe
a bottle of beer,
147
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:34,153
but do not open it...
no, you save that for a lawyer.
148
00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:35,888
Thank you, thank you.
149
00:07:35,888 --> 00:07:38,057
The beer is in the fridge,
right over there.
150
00:07:38,057 --> 00:07:41,527
Buzzer, bring beer,
not to be opened.
151
00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:42,395
Thank you.
152
00:07:42,828 --> 00:07:44,130
Buzzer, beer,
don't open.
153
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:47,166
Buzzer, beer,
don't open.
154
00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:48,901
Buzzer, beer,
don't open.
155
00:07:49,335 --> 00:07:51,938
(speaking foreign language)
156
00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:53,239
Ahhhh!
157
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,384
I'm going out.
Where?
158
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,987
That pair of foreigners got
themselves in quite a mess.
159
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,288
What do you
intend to do?
160
00:08:09,722 --> 00:08:11,891
Just a little detective work,
not in your class.
161
00:08:11,891 --> 00:08:14,060
You can dock my pay.
162
00:08:19,265 --> 00:08:20,566
Oh, by the way,
163
00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:23,169
Fritz is still out wrestling
with the fish, there,
164
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,338
so if you ring for beer,
that woman will bring it.
165
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,639
Did you tell her...
166
00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:27,940
that she puts ice in it,
yes, of course.
167
00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:29,241
Phooey!
168
00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:34,880
(Archie)
My campaign against danger
was to simple and easy,
169
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,616
i would begin
at thegoldenrod barbershop,
170
00:08:36,616 --> 00:08:38,784
i would get in ed's chair,
ask for a shave,
171
00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:40,086
and find out
just how dangerous
172
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,821
the danger was.
173
00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:43,556
I'm a customer here!
Come on, what's...
174
00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:46,592
but it was neither
simple nor easy.
175
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:47,460
(man
what are you looking at?
176
00:08:47,893 --> 00:08:49,195
Purley, tell them
to let me in, will ya?
177
00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:50,930
Yeah.
178
00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:53,532
This gonna turn into
another Nero Wolfe babies?
179
00:08:53,532 --> 00:08:55,267
Not unless you turn it.
180
00:08:55,267 --> 00:08:56,569
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
181
00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:57,870
I'm a customer here,
182
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,171
i'm just here
for my shave and trim.
183
00:08:59,171 --> 00:09:01,774
Yeah, your man
graboff's busy, ha!
184
00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:03,075
Are you gonna
be long, there, ed?
185
00:09:03,075 --> 00:09:04,810
Just a minute,
mr. Goodwin.
186
00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:06,979
All right,
i'll just, uh,
187
00:09:06,979 --> 00:09:08,714
pass the time talking
to you, there, purley.
188
00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:10,016
I don't feel
like talkin'.
189
00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:11,317
Does the corpse
have a name?
190
00:09:11,317 --> 00:09:12,618
I don't feel like
talking.
191
00:09:12,618 --> 00:09:13,919
All right, well, i can talk
to other people,
192
00:09:13,919 --> 00:09:16,088
i can, maybe, do some
inh personnel.
193
00:09:16,522 --> 00:09:17,823
Maybe, help you
solve the case.
194
00:09:17,823 --> 00:09:20,426
As long as you're here,
you know a guy who works here,
195
00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:21,727
takes the coats and hats,
196
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:23,029
and has the name
of carl vardas?
197
00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:23,896
His wife's Tina,
she's the manicurist.
198
00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:26,065
Yeah, i know him well enough
to give him a dime.
199
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:27,366
You know,
he takes my hat and coat.
200
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,101
Tina, i don't know 'cause
i do my own nails.
201
00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:30,403
Why are you asking?
202
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,138
You know, there's no law
against you coming in here
203
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:33,439
for a shave, Goodwin,
204
00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:34,740
but just the sight of you
around a murder
205
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,042
gives me an itch.
206
00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:37,343
For the record,
did you see this guy, vardas,
207
00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:38,644
or Tina this morning?
208
00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,813
Yes, yes, they are
in my kitchen right now.
209
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,416
That's why i came down here,
so maybe if you hurry...
210
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:46,452
can the gag,
they killed a cop!
211
00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:48,187
Well, one of them did,
212
00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:49,922
right there,
behind that manicure booth,
213
00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:51,657
this morning.
214
00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:53,392
Stuck a long pair of scissors
in his back and got his pump.
215
00:09:53,826 --> 00:09:55,127
The guy was a dick
from the 20th precinct,
216
00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:56,429
jake wallen.
217
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,597
By the time he was found,
they had gone.
218
00:09:58,597 --> 00:10:00,332
Any prints
on the scissors?
219
00:10:00,332 --> 00:10:01,200
We don't need prints,
220
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,501
didn't i just say
they lammed?
221
00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:05,104
So, what, you came here to...
take somebody in or what?
222
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:07,273
Yeah, i can't prove it,
yet.
223
00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:09,875
Do you know what, uh,
224
00:10:09,875 --> 00:10:11,177
do you know what
he was following?
225
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:12,912
(buzzing)
226
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,948
You know, why don't i just
save myself the time, huh?
227
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,249
I'll tell you what,
228
00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:18,117
you know what i would do
if i were you?
229
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:19,852
You're not me!
230
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:23,322
I'm not gonna get rid
of you, otherwise.
231
00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:25,491
Okay, listen.
232
00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:28,961
Last night, around midnight,
two pedestrians hit by a car
233
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:30,262
at 81st and broadway,
234
00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:31,564
both killed,
the car keeps going.
235
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:35,034
The car's discovered later
at 96th and broadway, it's hot.
236
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:37,203
Wallen phones the owner
of the stolen vehicle,
237
00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:39,371
asks him if he has any
connection with this place,
238
00:10:39,371 --> 00:10:40,673
thegoldenrod barbershop,
239
00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:41,974
if he knows anybody
who does.
240
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:43,709
The guy says he never heard
of the place,
241
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:45,010
but you know something?
242
00:10:45,010 --> 00:10:46,746
Wallen was brough here.
243
00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:48,481
It had to be something
he found in the car.
244
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,649
(ed)
Mr. Goodwin,
anytime.
245
00:10:50,649 --> 00:10:51,951
All right,
just a minute there, ed.
246
00:10:51,951 --> 00:10:54,553
Did he show or mention it
to anybody at the precinct?
247
00:10:54,553 --> 00:10:56,288
Nah, damn fool
kept it to himself,
248
00:10:56,288 --> 00:10:58,891
got himself killed.
249
00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:00,192
He brought that paper in,
right there.
250
00:11:00,192 --> 00:11:02,795
Last night's edition
of thegazette, that's it.
251
00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:06,699
You say
yes. You're ready?
252
00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:11,470
Mr. Wolfe oughta be here,
huh, Archie?
253
00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:13,205
That's mighty tactless
of you, there, jimmy.
254
00:11:13,639 --> 00:11:15,808
Oh, that's all we'd need,
Nero Wolfe!
255
00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:17,977
Anyone could solve
this case.
256
00:11:17,977 --> 00:11:19,712
Well, yeah,
but he's a genius.
257
00:11:19,712 --> 00:11:22,748
(chatter)
258
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,351
Keep it moving,
come on, get out of here.
259
00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:27,520
Let's go.
260
00:11:27,953 --> 00:11:30,556
I leaned back
and let my mind go.
261
00:11:30,556 --> 00:11:31,857
Who were the other suspects,
here,
262
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:34,460
besides carl
and the pretty Tina?
263
00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:36,195
I knew that Philip had
had two sons
264
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:37,930
killed in world war ii,
265
00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:39,665
and had never
really recovered.
266
00:11:39,665 --> 00:11:41,400
And had never
bodily in the barbershopkler
had been attacked
267
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,701
by his ex-wife,
268
00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:44,436
and only partially
recovered.
269
00:11:44,436 --> 00:11:46,172
He kept accusing
Wolfe's barber, jimmy,
270
00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:47,907
of stealing supplies,
271
00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:49,208
everything from combs
and hair tonic
272
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:52,244
to the magazines
left out for the customers.
273
00:11:52,244 --> 00:11:53,979
Ed, my barber,
was always in debt
274
00:11:54,413 --> 00:11:57,016
to keeping our race tracks open.
His devotion
275
00:11:57,016 --> 00:12:00,486
and, then, there was janet,
the other manicurist.
276
00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:02,655
We got a woman in the back,
and forensics got 'em, yeah,
277
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:06,125
and look who's here.
278
00:12:10,029 --> 00:12:11,764
You're a detective.
279
00:12:11,764 --> 00:12:13,499
Aren't you?
280
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:14,800
Cheese and rice.
281
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,403
Well, if it isn't
inspector cramer of homicide.
282
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,138
What's the angle,
Goodwin?
283
00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:21,740
No angle, i'm just here
to get my shave and trim.
284
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:23,042
Yeah?
285
00:12:23,042 --> 00:12:24,343
How many times
you lied to me?
286
00:12:24,777 --> 00:12:25,644
A million?
287
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:27,379
Ask purley.
Two million.
288
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:28,681
Come on, guys,
i just wanna get a shave.
289
00:12:29,114 --> 00:12:29,982
Come on,
leave me alone.
290
00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:31,717
Yeah, okay,
hey, ed?
291
00:12:31,717 --> 00:12:33,886
Ed, give him a shave,
and dull the razor.
292
00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:35,621
I was surprised to see cramer
on the scene,
293
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:36,922
but, then,
it was no mere citizen
294
00:12:37,356 --> 00:12:38,224
who'd met his death
here.
295
00:12:38,657 --> 00:12:39,959
Proving
even an inspector
296
00:12:39,959 --> 00:12:42,127
likes to be well though of
by the rank and file.
297
00:12:42,127 --> 00:12:45,164
How could i keep from having
my name in the paper?
298
00:12:45,164 --> 00:12:49,501
Oh, i wish i was dead!
299
00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:57,309
Can i trust you?
300
00:12:57,743 --> 00:12:59,044
Sure.
301
00:13:01,647 --> 00:13:02,948
You know, i'm no great
detective like you,
302
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:05,551
but carl did it all right,
what'd they run for?
303
00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:07,720
I wanted to tell ed that
that might be a little risky,
304
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,455
pointing a finger at carl.
305
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,624
Unless he could prove it,
it didn't seem wise.
306
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:12,925
And Fickler put wallen
in Tina's booth.
307
00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:24,203
After he talked to Tina,
he called for Philip,
308
00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:27,239
jimmy, me...
and last, janet.
309
00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:33,746
You bastard!
310
00:13:34,179 --> 00:13:37,216
The coppers asked me
how long it was
311
00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:38,517
was it 10 minutes?
312
00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:40,252
15 minutes before Fickler
came running out
313
00:13:40,252 --> 00:13:41,553
yelling his bloody head off.
314
00:13:41,553 --> 00:13:44,156
E thing is,
i can't remember exactly.
315
00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:46,325
And they can't make me,
316
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,060
but it doesn't matter
'cause carl did it.
317
00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:49,795
You know he had fits, right?
318
00:13:50,229 --> 00:13:51,530
But, see,
they gotta have evidence,
319
00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:52,831
the way the system works,
they need evidence.
320
00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:56,302
But i don't,
carl did it.
321
00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:57,603
How's that towel,
okay?
322
00:13:57,603 --> 00:13:58,904
Yeah, yeah,
no, it's great.
323
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:00,205
The inspector don't like you
being here, Goodwin,
324
00:14:00,205 --> 00:14:01,507
neither do i.
325
00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:03,242
That makes three of us,
326
00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:04,543
you know, you're lucky
it's not Wolfe's day
327
00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:05,411
to get his hair cut.
328
00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:06,712
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
329
00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:08,881
You, make this a short one,
you hear me?
330
00:14:08,881 --> 00:14:11,050
You, make this a short one,
you hear me?
331
00:14:13,652 --> 00:14:14,954
Will you be back
later?
332
00:14:15,387 --> 00:14:18,857
Oh, yeah, just give me
a minute, huh?
333
00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:22,328
Yeah, yeah...
just be a sec.
334
00:14:26,231 --> 00:14:28,400
My folks in michigan think
i'm acting or modeling!
335
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,003
And here... oh, my god!
336
00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:32,304
Yeah, well, keep going,
tell me everything.
337
00:14:32,304 --> 00:14:34,473
Well, when i went back
to Tina's booth,
338
00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:37,943
no doubt at all
what that cop wanted.
Well, when i went back
to Tina's booth, e was
339
00:14:37,943 --> 00:14:42,715
oh, oh, oh!
Help, help, help!
340
00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:45,751
Let me go!
Oh, let me go!
341
00:14:45,751 --> 00:14:48,354
You bastard!
You bastard!
342
00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:51,390
You bastard!
You bastard!
343
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:57,029
Ah... ah...
aaaaaahhhh!
344
00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:58,764
And if i really want
a successful career,
345
00:14:58,764 --> 00:15:00,933
the way i say i do...
346
00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:03,102
marks
on my throat?
347
00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:04,837
Hmm, well, that would get you
top billing anywhere.
348
00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:08,307
There was no mark whatsoever
on her smooth, pretty throat.
349
00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:10,042
I can't,
it'd be so darn vulgar.
350
00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:11,343
It's bound to come out
in the end.
351
00:15:11,343 --> 00:15:12,644
I simply can't.
352
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:14,813
Well, you know, i may even
get the district attorney
353
00:15:14,813 --> 00:15:16,115
to make it manslaughter.
354
00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:18,283
A girl has to get
her career established
355
00:15:18,283 --> 00:15:20,019
before she gets married,
356
00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:21,754
that's why,
when i see an attractive man,
357
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,489
i never wonder
if he's married.
358
00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:25,224
Ah, good policy, sure.
359
00:15:25,224 --> 00:15:26,959
I wouldn't ask you if you
knew anyone in showbusiness
360
00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:29,128
because i'd never accept
help from a man.
361
00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:31,296
A girl has
to forge her own way.
362
00:15:31,296 --> 00:15:34,333
She has to move forward
with her own passions
363
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:36,068
and her own feelings...
364
00:15:36,068 --> 00:15:37,369
okay, yeah...
365
00:15:37,369 --> 00:15:38,670
...and the way
to live her life,
366
00:15:38,670 --> 00:15:40,406
i know that
i will do everything...
367
00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:42,141
(chatter)
368
00:15:50,816 --> 00:15:54,720
(music and chatter)
369
00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:02,094
(man laughing)
370
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:12,071
(chuckling)
371
00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:14,673
And from that day on,
carl and i have never taken
372
00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:16,842
a piece of bread
for granted.
373
00:16:16,842 --> 00:16:18,143
This is true,
we have never taken
374
00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:20,746
a piece of bread
for granted.
375
00:16:20,746 --> 00:16:24,650
I'm told that your Stalin,
376
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,385
when he was ill,
several months ago,
377
00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:30,289
summoned two likely
successors to his side.
378
00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:33,325
He also summoned
two birds.
379
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:36,795
The first candidate,
380
00:16:36,795 --> 00:16:41,133
terrified that the bird
would fly free,
381
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:46,338
squeezcreature
so tightly that he killed it.
382
00:16:46,772 --> 00:16:48,507
The second,
383
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:51,977
seeing the displeasure cloud
over Stalin's face,
384
00:16:51,977 --> 00:16:54,146
was so frightened
385
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:56,748
that he hardly held
the bird at all
386
00:16:56,748 --> 00:16:58,484
and, of course, it escaped.
387
00:16:58,484 --> 00:17:00,652
Obviously, the vardases
had come clean with Wolfe.
388
00:17:00,652 --> 00:17:02,387
Wolfe must've felt
the distant rumblings
389
00:17:02,387 --> 00:17:04,990
of human sympathy
for these two,
390
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:07,159
his daughter
and his oldest friend, Marko,
391
00:17:07,159 --> 00:17:10,195
has been murdered by Stalin's
puppets in Yugoslavia.
392
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:14,533
"Bring me a bird,"
thundered Stalin!
393
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:18,437
He held this bird
by the legs,
394
00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:23,642
and slowly, one by one,
395
00:17:23,642 --> 00:17:29,715
plucked each feather
off this poor creature...
396
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:34,052
from his tiny, little body.
397
00:17:34,052 --> 00:17:41,426
Stalin then opened his palm
and there lay this bird,
398
00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:49,668
shivering.
Stalin then opened his palm
and there lay this bird, naked...
399
00:17:49,668 --> 00:17:56,608
and he looked up
and smiled gently and said,
400
00:17:57,042 --> 00:18:03,115
"you see, this little bird
is thankful
401
00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:06,151
for the human warmth
of my palm."
402
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,754
Mmmm...
mmmm...
403
00:18:13,091 --> 00:18:17,429
oh...
404
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:21,767
i know you have a distaste
for business during meals,
405
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,936
but 18,000 cops
would give a month's pay
406
00:18:26,538 --> 00:18:27,839
ah, indeed.
407
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:30,442
Yes, i just ran
into Cramer and Stebbins
408
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,743
at the barbershop.
409
00:18:32,177 --> 00:18:33,045
Confound it!
410
00:18:33,478 --> 00:18:35,214
Wolfe knew that Cramer
and Stebbins meant homicide,
411
00:18:35,647 --> 00:18:36,949
and he had a strong prejudice
412
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,985
against entertaining murderers
at his table.
413
00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:43,021
That lunch was one
of his finest performances.
414
00:18:43,021 --> 00:18:45,624
Are you enjoying this wine?
415
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:49,094
It's a 1938riesling,
given to me by a young man
416
00:18:49,094 --> 00:18:52,130
named Jacques Mangetout,
you know him?
417
00:18:52,130 --> 00:18:53,432
No...
418
00:18:53,865 --> 00:18:56,034
no.
419
00:19:01,673 --> 00:19:02,975
(Wolfe)
What have you got
us into now?
420
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,276
Did you say "us"?
Yes.
421
00:19:04,276 --> 00:19:05,143
Yeah, what do you mean?
422
00:19:05,577 --> 00:19:06,445
I didn't invite them
to lunch!
423
00:19:06,878 --> 00:19:07,746
I merely let them in,
which is one of my functions.
424
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:09,481
Sit down!
Sit down, mr. Vardas!
425
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,650
Sit down, mrs. Vardas!
426
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:15,120
Archie...
427
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,723
i filled Wolfe in
on more recent events.
428
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:19,458
The dead girls,
the hit-and-run,
429
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:20,759
the stolen car...
430
00:19:20,759 --> 00:19:22,060
but when i came
to the meat of the matter,
431
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:25,530
i maneuvered so i'd have
a good view of Tina's face.
432
00:19:25,964 --> 00:19:27,699
Fickler goes back there,
433
00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:30,302
and there he sees
officer Wallen,
434
00:19:30,302 --> 00:19:33,338
laying there with a pair
of scissors buried in his back.
435
00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:35,073
(gasping)
436
00:19:35,073 --> 00:19:36,808
Carl!
You didn't, carl!
437
00:19:36,808 --> 00:19:38,977
Wolfe would rather be
in a room with a hungry tiger
438
00:19:39,411 --> 00:19:40,712
than a woman out of hand.
439
00:19:41,146 --> 00:19:45,917
No!
No, no.
440
00:19:45,917 --> 00:19:50,255
My wife has a big idea of me,
as i do of her,
441
00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:52,858
but i did not
kill that man!
442
00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:54,593
Of course, you are going
to turn us in
443
00:19:54,593 --> 00:19:55,460
to the police, now.
444
00:19:58,063 --> 00:19:59,798
Sit down.
445
00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:08,907
I have an idea.
446
00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:15,847
You can go away
for a few days.
447
00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:19,318
I know a place in the bronx,
have you been to the bronx?
448
00:20:19,318 --> 00:20:21,053
It's a safe house.
449
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:22,354
You can go there
for a few days,
450
00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:24,089
no one will bother you.
451
00:20:24,089 --> 00:20:27,559
Okay, here's
how you're gonna get there.
452
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:31,897
You don't take the subway,
do you have a car?
453
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:33,632
No problem.
454
00:20:33,632 --> 00:20:35,367
You'll take
mr. Wolfe's car.
Archie...
455
00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:37,969
excuse me,
but i cannot drive a car.
456
00:20:37,969 --> 00:20:39,705
You can't drive?
457
00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:41,440
I don't drive.
458
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:42,741
She'll drive.
459
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:44,476
She don't drive,
either.
460
00:20:44,476 --> 00:20:45,777
You don't drive?
You drive?
461
00:20:45,777 --> 00:20:48,380
Neither one of you drives?
Everybody drives.
462
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:50,982
No, in america, yes,
but we don't drive.
463
00:20:50,982 --> 00:20:51,850
You don't drive?
464
00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:52,718
Never had the chance
to learn.
465
00:20:53,151 --> 00:20:54,453
S flummery?!
Never had the chance
to learn. What is thi
466
00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:56,621
i want to establish
whether they drive.
467
00:20:56,621 --> 00:21:00,959
No, no.
Never.
468
00:21:00,959 --> 00:21:02,260
(sighing)
469
00:21:02,694 --> 00:21:03,995
Well, yeah, no, what it is...
470
00:21:03,995 --> 00:21:05,731
to qualify
as a hit-and-run driver,
471
00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:07,899
you must meet certain
specifications.
472
00:21:07,899 --> 00:21:10,936
The main one
is knowing how to drive!
473
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:12,671
Let us just go ourselves.
474
00:21:12,671 --> 00:21:14,406
No, phooey!
475
00:21:14,406 --> 00:21:16,141
You would try
to skedaddle,
476
00:21:16,141 --> 00:21:18,310
and you would be
caught within an hour.
477
00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:19,611
If you're not convicted
of murder,
478
00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:22,647
you'll be apprehended
for lack of documents!
479
00:21:22,647 --> 00:21:25,250
Wolfe was trapped,
480
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:27,419
forced to be a champion
of humanity
481
00:21:27,419 --> 00:21:29,588
and stand by
his fellow travellers.
482
00:21:29,588 --> 00:21:30,889
He'd have to make
the ultimate sacrifice
483
00:21:31,323 --> 00:21:33,492
and go to work.
484
00:21:33,925 --> 00:21:36,962
I want to know
every word wallen said,
485
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:40,866
every question he asked,
each word!
486
00:21:40,866 --> 00:21:43,468
He asked about
the night before...
487
00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:46,505
Tina did pretty well
under the circumstances.
488
00:21:46,505 --> 00:21:49,975
I remember he took notes
and he...
489
00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:51,710
ad a newspaper.
490
00:21:51,710 --> 00:21:53,445
A newspaper?
In his hand?
491
00:21:53,445 --> 00:21:55,614
Then, he got
to the newspaper.
492
00:21:55,614 --> 00:21:58,216
Or was it
under his arm?
493
00:21:58,216 --> 00:22:01,253
In his hand.
In his hand?
494
00:22:01,253 --> 00:22:02,554
I think,
yes, i'm sure.
495
00:22:02,554 --> 00:22:03,422
Was it folded?
496
00:22:03,855 --> 00:22:04,723
Of course,
newspaper's are folded.
497
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:08,627
Just remember the newspaper
as you saw it in his hand!
498
00:22:08,627 --> 00:22:10,271
Was it folded
499
00:22:10,796 --> 00:22:14,266
as if he had had it
in his pocket?
500
00:22:19,037 --> 00:22:20,338
No, it wasn't folded.
501
00:22:20,338 --> 00:22:22,507
Was there anything
unusual about it?
502
00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:25,110
It was just a newspaper.
503
00:22:25,544 --> 00:22:27,279
Confound it.
504
00:22:27,279 --> 00:22:29,448
It's impossible,
if i so much as stir a finger,
505
00:22:29,448 --> 00:22:32,918
we'll have cramer yelping
and i have no muzzle for him.
506
00:22:32,918 --> 00:22:33,785
Yes.
507
00:22:34,219 --> 00:22:39,424
(doorbell ringing)
508
00:22:39,424 --> 00:22:40,725
(knocking)
Yeah?
509
00:22:40,725 --> 00:22:42,894
(man)
It is the man
to fix the chair.
510
00:22:42,894 --> 00:22:44,196
Ah, indeed.
511
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:47,232
You'd better get
into the kitchen, right now.
512
00:22:49,401 --> 00:22:51,570
All right, well, we are
now harboring fugitives.
513
00:22:51,570 --> 00:22:52,871
Well, you are.
514
00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:53,738
I told purley stebbins
this morning
515
00:22:53,738 --> 00:22:55,040
that they were
in the kitchen.
516
00:22:55,474 --> 00:22:56,341
Now, one of the advantages
517
00:22:56,775 --> 00:22:58,510
of having a reputation
for gags,
518
00:22:58,510 --> 00:23:00,245
is you that can say
virtually anything,
519
00:23:00,245 --> 00:23:01,980
if you know how to play
your face.
520
00:23:01,980 --> 00:23:03,281
You have a problem.
521
00:23:03,281 --> 00:23:04,149
Yeah, phooey!
522
00:23:04,583 --> 00:23:06,751
(doorbell ringing)
523
00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:12,390
(cramer)
I want to know why you went
to that barbershop, Goodwin!
524
00:23:12,390 --> 00:23:13,692
I go there, sometimes.
525
00:23:13,692 --> 00:23:15,427
No, no,
don't give me that!
526
00:23:15,427 --> 00:23:16,728
Graboff and flicker
both say
527
00:23:17,162 --> 00:23:18,463
you've been coming
there for six years,
528
00:23:18,463 --> 00:23:20,198
and you never once showed up
just for a trim!
529
00:23:20,632 --> 00:23:21,933
Not once!
530
00:23:21,933 --> 00:23:22,801
Archie, where is
that richter file?!
531
00:23:22,801 --> 00:23:24,102
I'm trying,
but, by golly...
532
00:23:24,102 --> 00:23:26,271
they both say you just come
there to get the works?
533
00:23:26,705 --> 00:23:29,741
A shampoo, scalp massage,
a haircut and a shave!
534
00:23:30,175 --> 00:23:31,910
But, today, of all days,
535
00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:34,079
you show up without
an appointment,
536
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:37,549
and just get a trim,
so i don't believe that...
537
00:23:37,549 --> 00:23:39,284
neither mr. Goodwin
nor i is responsible
538
00:23:39,284 --> 00:23:41,453
for your credulity quotient,
mr. Cramer.
539
00:23:41,453 --> 00:23:43,622
So you going there had nothing
to do with the murder, huh?!
540
00:23:44,055 --> 00:23:46,224
It if you write it ou
t,
541
00:23:46,224 --> 00:23:47,526
i would be happy
to sign it.
542
00:23:47,526 --> 00:23:48,827
No, you write it out!
543
00:23:48,827 --> 00:23:50,996
How about we go down
to the corner drugstore.
544
00:23:50,996 --> 00:23:51,863
They got a notary there.
545
00:23:51,863 --> 00:23:53,164
No, today,
i want it today.
546
00:23:53,164 --> 00:23:54,900
Now, how was mr. Goodwin
supposed to have learned
547
00:23:54,900 --> 00:23:56,201
about this murder?!
548
00:23:56,201 --> 00:23:58,803
Well, i don't know,
i don't have a diagram.
549
00:23:59,237 --> 00:24:00,539
Maybe, you sent him?
550
00:24:00,539 --> 00:24:01,840
Yes, well, then, maybe,
551
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,141
you should get an affidavit
from me!
552
00:24:03,141 --> 00:24:05,310
I give you my word
that i did not send Archie
553
00:24:05,744 --> 00:24:06,611
to the barbershop,
554
00:24:07,045 --> 00:24:08,346
that i did not know
he was going there,
555
00:24:08,346 --> 00:24:10,515
and i did not know
about any murder
556
00:24:10,515 --> 00:24:11,816
before
he came home and told me.
557
00:24:12,250 --> 00:24:13,118
Your word!
558
00:24:13,552 --> 00:24:14,853
Yes, my word,
of course!
559
00:24:14,853 --> 00:24:17,022
Now, what prompted you
to come here?!
560
00:24:17,022 --> 00:24:18,757
A policeman was murdered,
561
00:24:18,757 --> 00:24:20,492
and anytime
Goodwin is poking around,
562
00:24:20,926 --> 00:24:22,227
i wanna know why.
563
00:24:22,227 --> 00:24:23,528
I don't believe you.
564
00:24:23,528 --> 00:24:26,131
Well, i can see that money
hasn't pulled you
565
00:24:26,131 --> 00:24:28,733
into the case
because no one in it has any!
566
00:24:28,733 --> 00:24:30,468
Archie, i think you're
responsible for this.
567
00:24:30,468 --> 00:24:31,336
What?
568
00:24:31,770 --> 00:24:35,240
Yes, you're brash,
you talk too much.
569
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:36,541
You said something!
570
00:24:36,541 --> 00:24:38,710
It's always me.
571
00:24:38,710 --> 00:24:40,011
Yes, well,
reconstruct it.
572
00:24:40,011 --> 00:24:41,313
What did you say
to mr. Cramer?
573
00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:43,481
I said nothing,
i said nothing.
574
00:24:43,481 --> 00:24:44,783
Nothing?!
That's puzzling.
575
00:24:45,216 --> 00:24:46,518
Practically
nothing.
576
00:24:46,518 --> 00:24:47,819
What did you say
to mr. Stebbins?
577
00:24:47,819 --> 00:24:49,554
Nothing!
578
00:24:49,554 --> 00:24:52,591
Stebbins, he wanted to know
what brought me there and i...
579
00:24:52,591 --> 00:24:56,061
wait a minute, hold on.
580
00:24:56,061 --> 00:24:58,229
Say...
maybe, you're right.
581
00:24:58,663 --> 00:25:03,435
Yes, stebbins asked me if i had
seen carl or Tina this morning,
582
00:25:03,435 --> 00:25:06,037
and i said, "yes."
583
00:25:06,037 --> 00:25:09,941
And they... he asked if i...
and i... i told him i had.
584
00:25:10,375 --> 00:25:12,110
"Because i brought them here,"
i told him.
585
00:25:13,845 --> 00:25:16,014
What?
You see,
586
00:25:16,014 --> 00:25:17,749
your confounded tongue!
587
00:25:17,749 --> 00:25:19,050
Is that
helpful?
588
00:25:19,050 --> 00:25:22,954
Well, now, that he's rashly
exposed our little secret,
589
00:25:23,388 --> 00:25:26,858
i suppose there's no sense
in trying to keep it.
590
00:25:26,858 --> 00:25:29,461
That's what
we use the kitchen for.
591
00:25:29,461 --> 00:25:30,328
What?!
592
00:25:30,328 --> 00:25:31,630
To keep
the murderers in.
593
00:25:31,630 --> 00:25:32,931
What?
594
00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:34,232
You're armed,
aren't you?
595
00:25:34,232 --> 00:25:37,268
Go and get them,
Archie, open the door!
596
00:25:37,268 --> 00:25:39,004
Bullheaded as cramer was,
597
00:25:39,004 --> 00:25:40,305
our buildup
might have convinced him
598
00:25:40,305 --> 00:25:41,606
to go take a look,
599
00:25:41,606 --> 00:25:43,341
but the thought of how silly
he would look coming back
600
00:25:43,341 --> 00:25:45,510
complicated it for him.
601
00:25:50,281 --> 00:25:55,053
Nuts, i gotta get
back to work.
602
00:25:55,053 --> 00:25:57,222
Don't bother.
603
00:26:08,933 --> 00:26:11,536
I just lost 10 pounds.
604
00:26:11,536 --> 00:26:14,139
I'm going
to the plant rooms.
605
00:26:14,572 --> 00:26:17,609
Admit no more displaced persons
to this house.
606
00:26:17,609 --> 00:26:19,344
Two is quite enough.
607
00:26:33,658 --> 00:26:36,261
Well, how is everyone?
608
00:26:36,261 --> 00:26:37,996
(carl)
What is going
on here?
609
00:26:37,996 --> 00:26:40,598
We want to go,
we will pay you the $50.
610
00:26:40,598 --> 00:26:42,333
Well you can't,
that was inspector cramer.
611
00:26:42,333 --> 00:26:43,635
Since we told him
you were here...
612
00:26:43,635 --> 00:26:44,502
why did you tell him?!
613
00:26:44,936 --> 00:26:45,804
You betrayed us.
614
00:26:45,804 --> 00:26:46,671
Ah, don't worry it,
615
00:26:46,671 --> 00:26:47,903
it's the hitler-stalin
technique in reverse.
616
00:26:47,903 --> 00:26:50,575
They told barefaced lies to
have them taken for the truth,
617
00:26:50,575 --> 00:26:54,045
we told bareface truths
to have them taken for a lie.
618
00:26:54,045 --> 00:26:55,346
And proud of it,
619
00:26:55,780 --> 00:26:56,648
but i'm here to tell you
that we're stuck,
620
00:26:56,648 --> 00:26:57,949
and so are you,
621
00:26:58,383 --> 00:26:59,684
and we're all gonna have
to wait for Wolfe's genius
622
00:27:00,118 --> 00:27:01,853
to come into effect, here,
all right?
623
00:27:01,853 --> 00:27:03,154
No longer simple.
To come into effect, here,
all right? Things were
624
00:27:03,154 --> 00:27:05,323
proving neither carl nor Tina
could drive a car
625
00:27:05,323 --> 00:27:07,926
proved nothing
about carl plunging scissors
626
00:27:07,926 --> 00:27:10,528
into jake wallen's back
in a fit of rage.
627
00:27:10,528 --> 00:27:12,697
Well, hello, purley...
your boss just left...
628
00:27:13,131 --> 00:27:14,866
(purley)
Well, look, janet
took a whack on the head.
629
00:27:14,866 --> 00:27:16,167
She'll only talk to you.
630
00:27:16,601 --> 00:27:17,902
Sure, sure...
631
00:27:18,336 --> 00:27:20,939
Fritz, listen,
i have to hop it, right?
632
00:27:20,939 --> 00:27:23,541
Give them freedom of movement,
but keep them inside,
633
00:27:23,541 --> 00:27:24,843
and set two extra
places for dinner.
634
00:27:24,843 --> 00:27:27,445
Yes, mr. Goodwin, sir.
635
00:27:31,349 --> 00:27:32,650
Purley.
636
00:27:32,650 --> 00:27:35,253
In the back, won't talk to
anybody but Archie Goodwin.
637
00:27:35,687 --> 00:27:36,554
And you wonder
my opinion of myself
638
00:27:36,988 --> 00:27:38,289
is what it is?
639
00:27:38,289 --> 00:27:39,591
(chuckling)
640
00:27:44,796 --> 00:27:46,965
Hi, Archie.
641
00:27:46,965 --> 00:27:49,567
Let me just check
your pump, here.
642
00:27:49,567 --> 00:27:51,302
Well, your pump is good.
643
00:27:51,736 --> 00:27:53,471
Mind if i inspect
your head?
644
00:27:53,471 --> 00:27:56,508
Be very careful.
645
00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:59,110
Yes, good thing you got
a good, thick skull.
646
00:27:59,110 --> 00:28:01,279
You know,
i started to scream,
647
00:28:01,279 --> 00:28:02,580
but it was too late.
648
00:28:03,014 --> 00:28:04,749
I was sitting
in the customer's chair.
649
00:28:04,749 --> 00:28:06,918
Just sitting,
trying to think.
650
00:28:06,918 --> 00:28:08,543
And there was
a noise behind me,
651
00:28:08,543 --> 00:28:10,388
and i looked up and saw him
reflected in the glass,
652
00:28:10,388 --> 00:28:12,123
justtanding there
with his arm raised...
653
00:28:12,557 --> 00:28:14,292
wait a minute, you were here,
you were like this.
654
00:28:14,292 --> 00:28:15,593
O on.
655
00:28:16,027 --> 00:28:19,063
Yes, i was sitting,
trying to think.
656
00:28:19,063 --> 00:28:22,534
Now...
before he struck you,
657
00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:25,136
could you see
the reflection? Yeah.
658
00:28:25,136 --> 00:28:26,437
Did you recognize
who it was?
659
00:28:26,871 --> 00:28:30,341
Yes, it was the one they call
"sergeant stebbings".
660
00:28:30,341 --> 00:28:32,076
That's stebbins,
purley stebbins.
661
00:28:32,076 --> 00:28:35,547
Yes, sergeantpurely stebbings,
purely stebbings,
662
00:28:35,547 --> 00:28:37,715
and that's why i had
to tell you and not them.
663
00:28:38,149 --> 00:28:42,921
You see, he came at me
with such brute force,
664
00:28:43,354 --> 00:28:44,656
a look of terror in his eyes,
665
00:28:44,656 --> 00:28:46,825
mad passion,
he was groping at me,
666
00:28:46,825 --> 00:28:48,126
starting to tear
at my clothes,
667
00:28:48,126 --> 00:28:49,861
and he brought up his hand,
668
00:28:49,861 --> 00:28:51,596
and he brought it
down on my head,
669
00:28:51,596 --> 00:28:55,066
and, then,
i fell to the ground...
670
00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:57,669
but i can't honestly say
it was him that hit me.
671
00:28:58,102 --> 00:28:58,970
You can't?
672
00:28:58,970 --> 00:29:00,271
Well, i know that it was him
standing behind me
673
00:29:00,705 --> 00:29:01,573
with his arm raised,
674
00:29:02,006 --> 00:29:02,874
and then something hit me
in the head.
675
00:29:03,308 --> 00:29:04,609
One can only
draw conclusions.
676
00:29:04,609 --> 00:29:05,910
Yes, yes,
sounds logical.
677
00:29:05,910 --> 00:29:07,645
People should be very careful
what they accuse
678
00:29:08,079 --> 00:29:08,947
other people of.
679
00:29:09,380 --> 00:29:10,175
I agree.
680
00:29:10,175 --> 00:29:11,549
But that's why i need you,
681
00:29:11,983 --> 00:29:13,284
because when the reporters
come and say, "who hit you?"
682
00:29:13,284 --> 00:29:15,453
I'd have to say,
"i don't know."
683
00:29:15,453 --> 00:29:16,754
And they'd say,
"well, why did he hit you?"
684
00:29:16,754 --> 00:29:18,056
And i'd say, "i don't know."
685
00:29:18,056 --> 00:29:18,923
And who would
want to read that?
686
00:29:18,923 --> 00:29:20,225
So i'll refer them to you,
instead.
687
00:29:20,225 --> 00:29:21,526
Refer who?
The reporters.
688
00:29:21,526 --> 00:29:22,827
That's how you'll
earn your 10%.
689
00:29:22,827 --> 00:29:24,128
10%?
690
00:29:24,128 --> 00:29:25,430
As my manager,
it's a standard fee.
691
00:29:25,430 --> 00:29:26,731
Oh, very good idea,
but, you know,
692
00:29:26,731 --> 00:29:28,032
he thing about reporters is,
693
00:29:28,032 --> 00:29:29,334
see, they like to get
a jump on the police.
694
00:29:29,334 --> 00:29:30,635
What's that?
695
00:29:30,635 --> 00:29:31,502
Well, for instance,
if stebbins crowned you, right?
696
00:29:31,502 --> 00:29:33,671
He must have had
an accomplice.
697
00:29:33,671 --> 00:29:34,973
We'll call him "x".
698
00:29:34,973 --> 00:29:36,708
But i don't remember
anything like that.
699
00:29:36,708 --> 00:29:38,443
Now, you want the reporters
to hate you?
700
00:29:38,877 --> 00:29:41,045
Or you want them
to listen to your story?
701
00:29:41,045 --> 00:29:42,347
And take in
every word... yeah...
702
00:29:42,347 --> 00:29:44,949
put your picture in the paper
and make you famous!
703
00:29:44,949 --> 00:29:46,251
Yeah!
704
00:29:46,251 --> 00:29:49,287
Okay, then, here's what
we're gonna do.
705
00:29:49,721 --> 00:29:52,757
Now, what i want you to do
706
00:29:52,757 --> 00:29:54,492
is i want you
to close your eyes.
707
00:29:54,926 --> 00:29:56,227
Close them.
708
00:29:56,227 --> 00:29:58,830
That's it, all right,
now, i'm gonna take you back.
709
00:29:58,830 --> 00:30:00,131
Who was it that came
around the corner?
710
00:30:00,131 --> 00:30:01,866
Was it Philip?
711
00:30:02,300 --> 00:30:03,167
Philip,
coming around the corner?
712
00:30:03,167 --> 00:30:04,469
Was it ed, maybe?
It was ed.
713
00:30:04,469 --> 00:30:05,770
Maybe, it was Fickler...
714
00:30:05,770 --> 00:30:07,071
it was jimmy!
715
00:30:07,071 --> 00:30:08,373
Oh my god, it was jimmy
because he's crazy.
716
00:30:08,373 --> 00:30:10,108
And he's got a red face 'cause
he's got high blood pressure
717
00:30:10,108 --> 00:30:10,975
and he drinks too much
718
00:30:10,975 --> 00:30:12,277
and he always wants
to take me drinking,
719
00:30:12,277 --> 00:30:13,144
but i say no because
i'm not that kind of girl.
720
00:30:16,180 --> 00:30:19,651
(giggling and sighing)
721
00:30:19,651 --> 00:30:23,121
Oh my head.
Oh, boy.
722
00:30:23,554 --> 00:30:25,290
Oh, well, i don't have to you
ask you if you heard it all.
723
00:30:25,723 --> 00:30:26,591
If you shoot her,
724
00:30:26,591 --> 00:30:27,892
send her brain
tojohns hopkins.
725
00:30:28,326 --> 00:30:29,193
Can i go now?
726
00:30:29,193 --> 00:30:30,495
No.
No?
727
00:30:30,495 --> 00:30:33,097
No, she might insist on seeing
her manager, again.
728
00:30:33,097 --> 00:30:34,832
You know, i ain't sold
729
00:30:34,832 --> 00:30:36,134
she's as unfurnished
inside her head
730
00:30:36,134 --> 00:30:37,001
as she lets on.
731
00:30:37,435 --> 00:30:39,170
Three months ago, she shoved
a full-grown human male
732
00:30:39,170 --> 00:30:40,905
out of his own car
into a ditch.
733
00:30:40,905 --> 00:30:42,206
Well, that's all well
and good and everything,
734
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:44,375
but Fritz made some pork,
see, so...
735
00:30:44,809 --> 00:30:46,978
oh, well, yeah, well, we'd all
like to go home for dinner.
736
00:30:46,978 --> 00:30:50,448
Nobody leaves!
Nobody!
737
00:30:59,123 --> 00:31:01,292
A little privacy, please.
738
00:31:07,365 --> 00:31:09,100
(phone ringing)
739
00:31:09,100 --> 00:31:10,401
What?!
740
00:31:10,401 --> 00:31:12,570
Despite his bad phone manners,
i filled him in.
741
00:31:12,570 --> 00:31:14,305
You say no progress
has been made?
742
00:31:14,305 --> 00:31:16,040
Some progress,
743
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,342
janet asked me
to be her manager.
744
00:31:17,342 --> 00:31:18,643
I'm giving you
my notice.
745
00:31:18,643 --> 00:31:19,944
Phooey!
746
00:31:19,944 --> 00:31:21,679
Well, it looks like
the whole party is gonna be...
747
00:31:21,679 --> 00:31:23,848
is gonna be moved
downtown,
748
00:31:23,848 --> 00:31:26,884
so i will not be able to join
you for that delicious pork.
749
00:31:26,884 --> 00:31:29,053
You mean this thing will not be
settled before dinner?
750
00:31:29,053 --> 00:31:32,957
Ah, well, i doubt it,
i mean... do you mind?
751
00:31:32,957 --> 00:31:34,258
Yeah, yeah!
752
00:31:34,692 --> 00:31:36,427
I hate to say it,
but it looks like you
753
00:31:36,427 --> 00:31:38,162
might have to dine
754
00:31:38,162 --> 00:31:39,464
with those murderers
in the kitchen, again.
755
00:31:39,464 --> 00:31:41,199
Confound it!
756
00:31:43,801 --> 00:31:45,536
The reading material
was still the same.
757
00:31:45,536 --> 00:31:47,705
A two-week-oldtime
andthe new yorkeri'd read,
758
00:31:47,705 --> 00:31:50,308
so i passed the time by
analyzing the dirt
759
00:31:50,308 --> 00:31:53,344
purley had assembled
on thegoldenrodgang.
760
00:31:53,344 --> 00:31:56,814
It seems Fickler had done
a turn in '46 for assault.
761
00:31:56,814 --> 00:31:58,549
Jimmy kirk, Wolfe's guy,
762
00:31:58,549 --> 00:32:00,718
had expensive tastes
for a barber.
763
00:32:01,152 --> 00:32:03,321
Philip toracco went off
the rails when his wife left,
764
00:32:03,755 --> 00:32:05,923
and spent the year
in a booby hatch.
765
00:32:05,923 --> 00:32:08,092
And... nothing much
to hang a murder on.
766
00:32:08,526 --> 00:32:11,129
So my mind wandered back,
naturally, to janet,
767
00:32:11,129 --> 00:32:14,599
which, of course,
was even more hopeless.
768
00:32:14,599 --> 00:32:16,768
Right, Fritz!
Yeah!
769
00:32:17,201 --> 00:32:18,936
When did he leave?
770
00:32:18,936 --> 00:32:22,840
He's going where?
Fritz, i can't hear you!
771
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:25,443
(chattering)
772
00:32:29,347 --> 00:32:30,214
Excuse me.
773
00:32:30,214 --> 00:32:31,082
Excuse me, sir,
you can't come in here.
774
00:32:31,082 --> 00:32:33,684
Archie!
Where's mr. Cramer?
775
00:32:33,684 --> 00:32:36,287
Well, well!
Let him in, tiny.
776
00:32:39,757 --> 00:32:42,360
Jimmy!
I have come for a trim.
777
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:44,962
(cramer)
Well, isn't that something,
purley?
778
00:32:44,962 --> 00:32:47,565
Nero Wolfe, who never
leaves his brownstone,
779
00:32:47,565 --> 00:32:49,300
coincidentally,
comes to a barbershop,
780
00:32:49,734 --> 00:32:52,770
which, coincidentally, is
the scene of a homicide!
781
00:32:53,204 --> 00:32:55,807
Whic
only several hours
782
00:32:55,807 --> 00:32:57,542
after Archie Goodwin,
also, coincidentally,
783
00:32:57,542 --> 00:32:59,277
shows up
at the same crime scene,
784
00:32:59,710 --> 00:33:01,446
claiming all he wanted
was a shave.
785
00:33:01,446 --> 00:33:03,181
(cramer)
Yeah, a series
of coincidences,
786
00:33:03,181 --> 00:33:07,085
for the books, huh?
787
00:33:07,085 --> 00:33:10,121
Jimmy, my trim,
if you please.
788
00:33:10,555 --> 00:33:14,459
Go ahead,
give him a trim, jimmy.
789
00:33:17,495 --> 00:33:20,531
Not too... not too short
like last time, jimmy.
790
00:33:20,531 --> 00:33:21,833
Not too... not too short
like last time, jimmy.
791
00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:22,700
Okay, we believe you,
792
00:33:23,134 --> 00:33:24,001
you're getting
your damn hair cut.
793
00:33:24,001 --> 00:33:25,303
Now, tell us why you're
really here?
794
00:33:25,736 --> 00:33:27,905
And cut the crap about
the murderers in the kitchen.
795
00:33:27,905 --> 00:33:30,074
You wish to harass me or do
you wanna catch a murderer?
796
00:33:30,508 --> 00:33:32,243
You know what i want,
Wolfe.
797
00:33:32,243 --> 00:33:35,279
Then, let me propose
a series of assumptions,
798
00:33:35,279 --> 00:33:37,882
merely on the basis
of exploration.
799
00:33:37,882 --> 00:33:39,617
Do you want
to hear them?
800
00:33:39,617 --> 00:33:41,786
Just don't drag it out.
801
00:33:42,220 --> 00:33:43,955
The first one
being this:
802
00:33:43,955 --> 00:33:48,726
That detective wallen
found something in the car,
803
00:33:48,726 --> 00:33:52,630
where is, uh, miss stahl?
804
00:33:52,630 --> 00:33:54,365
(Archie)
She's in the back,
laying down on her head.
805
00:33:54,365 --> 00:33:56,534
Well, she can sit up,
can't she?
806
00:33:59,137 --> 00:34:00,872
How've you been,
jimmy?
807
00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:03,040
Just fine.
808
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:05,209
Psst!
809
00:34:05,643 --> 00:34:06,511
Did you bring
the reporter?
810
00:34:06,944 --> 00:34:08,246
Now, listen, girl,
you're getting off easy.
811
00:34:08,246 --> 00:34:09,981
Nero Wolfe is here
with a suggestion,
812
00:34:09,981 --> 00:34:11,282
and wants your opinion on it.
813
00:34:11,282 --> 00:34:12,150
But what about
the reporter?
814
00:34:12,583 --> 00:34:13,451
No, no, no,
no buts.
815
00:34:13,451 --> 00:34:15,186
How's that fellow
you live with, your roommate?
816
00:34:15,186 --> 00:34:17,788
Petey?
Yeah, he's good.
817
00:34:17,788 --> 00:34:18,656
All right,
he's waiting.
818
00:34:18,656 --> 00:34:19,957
Now, come one,
you want me to carry you?
819
00:34:19,957 --> 00:34:23,427
Certainly not, and by the way,
you're fired.
820
00:34:23,427 --> 00:34:26,464
Cut the chit-chat, let's get
back to the assumptions, Wolfe.
821
00:34:26,464 --> 00:34:29,934
Would you turn me around,
jimmy, please?
822
00:34:33,404 --> 00:34:34,705
(stebbins)
Sit down!
823
00:34:34,705 --> 00:34:36,874
There, that's perfect.
Thank you.
824
00:34:36,874 --> 00:34:39,477
Now, the first one
is that wallen found something
825
00:34:39,477 --> 00:34:42,079
in the car, an object...
826
00:34:42,079 --> 00:34:43,814
it couldn't have been
something he was told,
827
00:34:43,814 --> 00:34:45,983
for there was no one to
tell him anything.
828
00:34:45,983 --> 00:34:48,152
(cramer)
We made that assumption
without your help.
829
00:34:48,152 --> 00:34:49,887
Yes, my felicitations.
830
00:34:49,887 --> 00:34:52,490
The second is that wallen
brought the object here
831
00:34:52,490 --> 00:34:55,092
wrapped in the newspaper
he was carrying.
832
00:34:55,092 --> 00:34:56,394
Not too short,
back there, jimmy.
833
00:34:56,394 --> 00:34:57,261
Not too short.
834
00:34:57,261 --> 00:34:58,129
Yes, sir.
835
00:34:58,563 --> 00:34:59,807
Not like last time...
836
00:34:59,807 --> 00:35:01,165
which was an early
edition of thenews
837
00:35:01,165 --> 00:35:02,900
on sale last evening,
not on sale this morning.
838
00:35:03,334 --> 00:35:04,635
Yeah, we already
got that one too.
839
00:35:05,069 --> 00:35:06,370
And it was not merely
stuffed in his pocket.
840
00:35:06,804 --> 00:35:09,407
He had it in his hand,
unfolded,
841
00:35:09,407 --> 00:35:11,142
the way it
is on the newsstand.
842
00:35:11,142 --> 00:35:13,311
You see to know a hell
of a lot about that paper.
843
00:35:13,311 --> 00:35:15,046
(Wolfe)
I know nothing you don't know,
844
00:35:15,046 --> 00:35:17,648
not to put too fine a point
on it, jimmy.
845
00:35:17,648 --> 00:35:19,383
Not like last time!
846
00:35:19,383 --> 00:35:20,685
But not too much
off the back, yes, sir.
847
00:35:20,685 --> 00:35:22,853
That's right.
848
00:35:22,853 --> 00:35:24,155
Now, it's difficult
to account for his carrying
849
00:35:24,589 --> 00:35:27,191
a stale newspaper
in such a manner,
850
00:35:27,191 --> 00:35:29,360
unless it was a container
for something else...
851
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:30,661
an object.
852
00:35:30,661 --> 00:35:33,264
Now, the fourth assumption
is that whatever the object was,
853
00:35:33,264 --> 00:35:35,433
the murderer had got hold of it
and disposed of it.
854
00:35:35,433 --> 00:35:37,168
Yeah, carl vardas,
and he lammed it!
855
00:35:37,602 --> 00:35:40,638
Well, i believe...
856
00:35:41,072 --> 00:35:43,674
i believe i'll have
a shave, now, jimmy.
857
00:35:43,674 --> 00:35:44,976
Sure, but you don't
need a shave, mr. Wolfe.
858
00:35:45,409 --> 00:35:48,012
I'll have a shave, jimmy.
859
00:35:48,012 --> 00:35:49,747
Sure.
860
00:35:49,747 --> 00:35:50,615
(sighing)
861
00:36:03,628 --> 00:36:05,695
Now, the fifth assumption,
862
00:36:06,230 --> 00:36:08,399
is that the murderer
was neither carl nor Tina.
863
00:36:08,399 --> 00:36:10,568
(stebbins)
What the hell
are you talking about now?
864
00:36:10,568 --> 00:36:12,737
Wait, wait, wait,
tell us why.
865
00:36:13,170 --> 00:36:15,339
Well, if we assume...
866
00:36:15,339 --> 00:36:17,942
that carl and Tina
are not involved,
867
00:36:17,942 --> 00:36:20,544
then, they did not take
the object away with them,
868
00:36:20,544 --> 00:36:24,015
and it is still here,
in this shop.
869
00:36:24,448 --> 00:36:25,750
I can assume
your surveillance
870
00:36:25,750 --> 00:36:29,220
has been constant
and alert.
871
00:36:29,654 --> 00:36:33,124
Could anyone have removed
such an object from the shop?
872
00:36:33,124 --> 00:36:33,991
No.
873
00:36:34,425 --> 00:36:36,160
How good a "no",
mr. Stebbins?
874
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,329
Good enough for me,
mr. Wolfe!
875
00:36:38,329 --> 00:36:40,931
Then, the seventh
and last assumption is this:
876
00:36:40,931 --> 00:36:43,100
That no proper search
for such an object
877
00:36:43,534 --> 00:36:46,137
has been made
on account of your assumption
878
00:36:46,137 --> 00:36:48,739
of carl and Tina's guilt.
879
00:37:00,451 --> 00:37:03,921
What we're after is an object
with something on it,
880
00:37:03,921 --> 00:37:06,524
that identifies it
as coming from the shop.
881
00:37:06,524 --> 00:37:08,259
Something with the name
or address
882
00:37:08,259 --> 00:37:09,994
or phone number, perhaps.
883
00:37:10,428 --> 00:37:14,765
Something flat, perhaps,
of considerable dimension...
884
00:37:14,765 --> 00:37:16,500
and easily recognizable.
885
00:37:16,500 --> 00:37:19,103
Now, all of you
were questioned by mr. Wallen,
886
00:37:19,103 --> 00:37:20,404
correct?
887
00:37:20,404 --> 00:37:22,139
(man)
Yes!
888
00:37:22,139 --> 00:37:23,441
Then only the murderer
889
00:37:23,441 --> 00:37:25,176
saw the object
or was told of it.
890
00:37:25,176 --> 00:37:27,778
You too, jimmy!
891
00:37:27,778 --> 00:37:30,815
Stop,
and think a moment.
892
00:37:30,815 --> 00:37:32,983
Oh, i can work and think,
mr. Wolfe, huh?
893
00:37:32,983 --> 00:37:34,719
(stebbins)
This is a turkey.
894
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:35,586
Say we find what
you're looking for,
895
00:37:35,586 --> 00:37:36,887
what's it gonna get us?
896
00:37:36,887 --> 00:37:38,189
(Wolfe)
Fingerprints.
897
00:37:38,189 --> 00:37:39,490
Nuts!
898
00:37:39,490 --> 00:37:41,225
If it belongs here, it's gonna
have their prints are on it!
899
00:37:41,225 --> 00:37:42,526
Nottheirfingerprints,
mr. Stebbins...
900
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:44,261
detective wallen's
fingerprints.
901
00:37:44,261 --> 00:37:45,563
Oh, jeez!
902
00:37:45,996 --> 00:37:48,599
Mr. Fickler, you look like
you've been thinking hard?
903
00:37:48,599 --> 00:37:50,334
Yeah, i have been
thinking hard.
904
00:37:50,768 --> 00:37:52,069
I don't know.
905
00:37:52,069 --> 00:37:53,371
(Wolfe)
Phillip?
906
00:37:53,371 --> 00:37:54,672
(phillip ke i sai
d,
i don't know what.
907
00:37:54,672 --> 00:37:56,407
Ed?
908
00:37:56,407 --> 00:37:58,576
You go?? Me, pass.
909
00:37:58,576 --> 00:38:01,178
You pass?
Miss stahl?
910
00:38:01,612 --> 00:38:05,950
I think he was keeping
the newspaper,
911
00:38:05,950 --> 00:38:08,552
so that he could read it.
912
00:38:08,986 --> 00:38:11,155
I know i do that
sometimes.
913
00:38:11,155 --> 00:38:13,324
Say, i don't have
time in the evening,
914
00:38:13,324 --> 00:38:15,059
well, the next morning...
915
00:38:15,059 --> 00:38:16,360
jimmy?
916
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:18,095
I can't think of one object
like that in the shop,
917
00:38:18,095 --> 00:38:19,830
mr. Wolfe,
not a one.
918
00:38:19,830 --> 00:38:20,698
Phooey!
919
00:38:21,132 --> 00:38:22,433
Either you have
no brains at all,
920
00:38:22,433 --> 00:38:24,168
or you're all involved
in the conspiracy.
921
00:38:24,602 --> 00:38:27,638
Now, i'm looking
at such an object, right now:
922
00:38:27,638 --> 00:38:29,807
The magazines!
923
00:38:29,807 --> 00:38:31,976
Yes, you subscribe to them,
mr. Fickler?
924
00:38:31,976 --> 00:38:33,277
If they come through the mail,
925
00:38:33,277 --> 00:38:35,446
the name and address
is on them, isn't it?
926
00:38:35,446 --> 00:38:38,482
Oh, yeah, yeah, they all have
the name and address on them.
927
00:38:38,482 --> 00:38:41,085
Aw, shucks, not this one.
928
00:38:41,085 --> 00:38:42,820
(cramer)
Hey, hey, drop that!
Don't touch that!
929
00:38:42,820 --> 00:38:44,555
Oh, but the name
and address isn't on it.
930
00:38:44,555 --> 00:38:48,893
Give me that,
get outta here!
931
00:38:48,893 --> 00:38:51,495
(Wolfe)
That magazine comes
in a brown wrapper,
932
00:38:51,495 --> 00:38:53,230
but the rest of them don't.
933
00:38:53,230 --> 00:38:54,532
For instance,
thattime magazine
934
00:38:54,965 --> 00:38:56,267
over there on the ledge,
935
00:38:56,267 --> 00:38:58,436
the addressee
is on the cover...
936
00:38:58,436 --> 00:39:00,604
what if he took it
from here,
937
00:39:00,604 --> 00:39:02,773
and had it in his pocket
when he stole the car?
938
00:39:02,773 --> 00:39:04,508
Then, did not notice
that it had fallen
939
00:39:04,508 --> 00:39:06,677
from his pocket
to the seat,
940
00:39:06,677 --> 00:39:08,412
where wallen found it.
941
00:39:08,412 --> 00:39:10,581
Oh, i remember!
Remember, jimmy?
942
00:39:10,581 --> 00:39:12,750
You came by this morning
with that towel...
943
00:39:12,750 --> 00:39:14,919
and that magazine.
944
00:39:14,919 --> 00:39:16,654
And then you tossed it
on the shelf.
945
00:39:16,654 --> 00:39:19,256
Remember, i asked you
if you'd been steaming it!
946
00:39:19,256 --> 00:39:22,293
(groaning and grunting)
947
00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:27,498
(stebbins)
Settle down, buddy!
948
00:39:27,932 --> 00:39:28,799
It's not me!
949
00:39:28,799 --> 00:39:30,968
Hey, get over here!
Get over here!
950
00:39:30,968 --> 00:39:33,571
Put the cuffs on him!
Come on, get him outta here!
951
00:39:34,004 --> 00:39:36,173
There's your
cop killer, boys!
952
00:39:36,173 --> 00:39:39,210
Take him downtown!
953
00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:42,246
Jimmy?
954
00:39:42,246 --> 00:39:45,282
Confound it, it would
have beenmybarber.
955
00:39:45,282 --> 00:39:47,451
Thank you, thank you,
thank you.
956
00:39:47,885 --> 00:39:49,620
(joyous laughing)
957
00:39:49,620 --> 00:39:52,223
(Archie)
You know damn well
what's gonna happen,
958
00:39:52,223 --> 00:39:54,825
danger's gonna come back.
Again and again and again...
959
00:39:55,259 --> 00:39:56,560
until one cold night,
960
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:58,729
there's not enough feathers
and no warm place to hide away.
961
00:39:58,729 --> 00:40:00,030
(Wolfe)
Oh, shut up!
962
00:40:00,030 --> 00:40:01,332
You know,
what the problem is here,
963
00:40:01,332 --> 00:40:03,067
you just won't
stick your neck out.
964
00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:04,802
You know,
general carpenter owes you.
965
00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:06,537
Why don't you get him
working on it?!
966
00:40:06,971 --> 00:40:08,272
Archie...
967
00:40:08,272 --> 00:40:12,176
as a matter of fact,
i have his home phone number.
968
00:40:12,176 --> 00:40:13,477
Archie?
969
00:40:13,477 --> 00:40:14,778
Yeah,
let's get him working on it.
970
00:40:14,778 --> 00:40:16,514
I mean, what the hell?
971
00:40:16,514 --> 00:40:21,719
A person-to-person
is a measly buck.
972
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:23,454
L... l... l... l...
973
00:40:23,454 --> 00:40:26,924
i got my naturalization
papers 24 years ago.
974
00:40:27,358 --> 00:40:28,659
Ah, well this
isn't about you.
975
00:40:28,659 --> 00:40:33,430
There you are,
comrade.
976
00:40:33,430 --> 00:40:36,033
Yes, operator?
977
00:40:36,033 --> 00:40:37,334
I'd like to make
a person-to-person call
978
00:40:37,768 --> 00:40:40,371
to general carpenter.
979
00:40:40,371 --> 00:40:41,672
I have $50 here.
980
00:40:41,672 --> 00:40:43,407
We must escape
this danger!
981
00:40:43,407 --> 00:40:44,708
We must escape it!
982
00:40:44,708 --> 00:40:47,311
(speaking foreign language)
983
00:40:47,311 --> 00:40:48,612
Are you going to
turn us in?
984
00:40:48,612 --> 00:40:49,914
No, no, they would not.
985
00:40:49,914 --> 00:40:51,649
This is not a bad danger.
986
00:40:52,082 --> 00:40:53,384
I don't wish
to contact him!
987
00:40:53,384 --> 00:40:55,119
There's a good danger,
a bad danger.
988
00:40:55,119 --> 00:40:56,854
This is good danger.
989
00:40:56,854 --> 00:40:57,721
There is
no such thing!
990
00:40:57,721 --> 00:40:59,456
He means not
to hide anymore.
991
00:40:59,456 --> 00:41:01,191
Yeah, yeah, listen,
you get through this danger,
992
00:41:01,191 --> 00:41:03,794
you'll never have to face
the bad danger ever again.
993
00:41:03,794 --> 00:41:06,830
General!
It's Nero Wolfe.
994
00:41:06,830 --> 00:41:09,867
Did you... you did receive
the truffles?
995
00:41:09,867 --> 00:41:11,168
(banging on table)
996
00:41:11,602 --> 00:41:15,506
Yes, we had
to go to perigord.
997
00:41:15,506 --> 00:41:18,108
Good. Good...
yes, there's a matter
998
00:41:18,542 --> 00:41:20,711
that i wish to discuss
with you.
999
00:41:21,145 --> 00:41:23,314
And it concerns
two exemplary people,
1000
00:41:23,314 --> 00:41:26,784
who would make
very significant additions
1001
00:41:26,784 --> 00:41:30,254
to the citizenry
of this country.
1002
00:41:30,688 --> 00:41:35,025
Yes, you will...
good... early next week?
1003
00:41:35,025 --> 00:41:40,664
They will be there...
good, goodbye.
1004
00:41:40,664 --> 00:41:41,966
(speaking foreign language)
1005
00:41:44,568 --> 00:41:48,472
(joyous laughter)
1006
00:41:48,472 --> 00:41:51,075
Oh... oh-oh!
1007
00:41:52,810 --> 00:41:57,055
Ah!
Ah! Ah!
1008
00:41:57,055 --> 00:41:59,316
(Wolfe)
Satisfactory,
Fritz.
1009
00:41:59,750 --> 00:42:01,051
There we are.
1010
00:42:01,051 --> 00:42:03,220
(laughter)
1011
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:12,329
It's beautiful!
1012
00:42:14,932 --> 00:42:17,968
(clapping)
1013
00:42:22,740 --> 00:42:25,342
A toast
to a great man:
1014
00:42:25,342 --> 00:42:26,644
Nero Wolfe.
1015
00:42:26,644 --> 00:42:28,812
Two great men!
1016
00:42:28,812 --> 00:42:30,114
Two great men!
1017
00:42:30,114 --> 00:42:33,150
(speaking foreign language)
1018
00:42:33,150 --> 00:42:35,753
Same to you,
yeah...
1019
00:42:41,392 --> 00:42:43,903
(Wolfe)
To your health,
security and happiness.
1020
00:42:47,464 --> 00:42:50,067
(laughter)
1021
00:42:57,441 --> 00:42:59,176
(carl)
Thank you,
thank you, thank you...
1022
00:43:02,212 --> 00:43:04,381
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1023
00:43:05,381 --> 00:43:15,381
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