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1
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:07,184
Hi, Myrna.
2
00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,240
Hi, Mr. M.
3
00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:10,409
How come you got a
sign on the front door...
4
00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:12,211
"Use the Service Door"?
5
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:14,324
For the same reason
I'm typing in the kitchen.
6
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,226
Felix shampooed
the rug; it's still wet.
7
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:18,662
I can't even get to my
room. I'm a prisoner in here.
8
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:19,884
Where do you go, uh...?
9
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,764
I use the Benjamin" apartment.
10
00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:24,189
Here. Here's the first two
pages for the column, all right?
11
00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:26,225
I'll be finished with the
other one in a second.
12
00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:29,956
What's it about? Water polo?
13
00:00:29,980 --> 00:00:32,080
What's that magazine?
14
00:00:32,116 --> 00:00:34,427
Oh, it's your Playboy.
It came in the mail.
15
00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:35,617
Why'd you bring it here?
16
00:00:35,652 --> 00:00:36,797
So you could read it.
17
00:00:36,821 --> 00:00:38,854
I have it sent to the
office for a reason.
18
00:00:38,889 --> 00:00:40,733
Why? You're not married.
Will you listen to me?!
19
00:00:40,757 --> 00:00:43,158
If I have it sent to the
office that's what I want.
20
00:00:43,194 --> 00:00:44,221
Hi, folks.
21
00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:45,910
Hi, Myrna.
22
00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:47,090
Hi, Mr. Unger.
23
00:00:47,114 --> 00:00:48,791
Why doesn't he want
this in the house?
24
00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:50,982
What? Why doesn't he want what?
25
00:00:51,017 --> 00:00:52,183
What have you got here?
26
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,254
This.
27
00:01:38,349 --> 00:01:41,282
♪ ♪
28
00:02:13,417 --> 00:02:15,350
♪ ♪
29
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,415
The Odd Couple was filmed
in front of a live audience.
30
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,622
I told you I never want
that rag in this house.
31
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,657
I tried to warn
her, it was too late.
32
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,137
What have you got
against the magazine?
33
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,161
Everything!
34
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:45,241
Never bring it back here
again, do you understand that?
35
00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:46,943
I didn't bring it in. Do
you understand me?
36
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,234
Holler at her. I
didn't bring it in.
37
00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:51,136
Hey, look what I
found in the hall.
38
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:54,906
Hubba-hubba-hubba.
39
00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:56,241
Very nice.
40
00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:57,709
A policeman on duty.
41
00:02:57,744 --> 00:03:00,611
Hey, finders keepers,
losers weepers.
42
00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:02,948
Don't forget, the floor's wet.
43
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:07,418
Boy, after all the times I
let him ride in my squad car.
44
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:09,598
Next time he sits
behind the cage.
45
00:03:09,622 --> 00:03:11,367
What has he got
against the magazine?
46
00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:14,142
Oh, it goes way back to when
I used to work for Playboy.
47
00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:15,944
How come you got fired?
48
00:03:15,980 --> 00:03:17,874
What makes you
think I got fired?
49
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:20,432
Who would quit?
50
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:24,569
Murray, you kill me.
51
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:26,600
That was my first
job in New York.
52
00:03:26,624 --> 00:03:28,501
I used to write copy
and things like that.
53
00:03:28,525 --> 00:03:30,125
The magazine was just beginning,
54
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,238
but Felix couldn't get started
as a photographer, see.
55
00:03:32,262 --> 00:03:33,473
He wanted to marry Gloria,
56
00:03:33,497 --> 00:03:35,097
but he couldn't
get enough money.
57
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,715
This is gonna be a
long story, Murray.
58
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,484
Maybe you'll like it.
59
00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:42,019
Anyway, one night he
came to the apartment.
60
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,322
That's when it really
was my apartment.
61
00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:47,091
Oh, it had that
nice lived-in look...
62
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:48,671
Jump shot.
63
00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:51,129
It's good. Ties
up the ball game.
64
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:53,197
Who is it?
65
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,633
Felix.
66
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:56,246
Oh, am I glad you
came by, buddy.
67
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:58,190
You're just the
guy I want to see.
68
00:04:00,557 --> 00:04:02,256
That bad, huh?
69
00:04:02,292 --> 00:04:05,727
Oscar, Oscar, Oscar.
70
00:04:05,762 --> 00:04:07,195
No luck again today?
71
00:04:07,230 --> 00:04:08,530
I got one call.
72
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:13,452
An old lady wanted me to
photograph her parakeet Winky.
73
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:15,220
I said yes.
74
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,889
Then she told me she
wouldn't be able to pay me.
75
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:21,893
She said she'd knit me an
afghan, any color I chose.
76
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,095
I even agreed to that.
77
00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:25,597
Then she said it would
take over a year and a half
78
00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:28,300
because of her arthritis.
79
00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:30,302
I don't know, I
may turn it down.
80
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:34,806
I'm tellin' you, turn it down.
81
00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:39,077
I need the sweater.
82
00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:43,148
Black... to match my future.
83
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:45,128
I'm never gonna have
enough money to marry Gloria.
84
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,351
Sure, you are.
85
00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:48,364
I'm trying to tell you,
your troubles are over.
86
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:49,587
I got you a job today.
87
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:50,455
Really? Yeah.
88
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:51,439
Where?! Wh-What...?!
89
00:04:51,474 --> 00:04:52,485
Tell me... Playboy magazine.
90
00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:53,709
The same one I'm working for.
91
00:04:53,743 --> 00:04:54,954
I showed the art
director your pictures.
92
00:04:54,978 --> 00:04:56,444
I want to tell you, he flipped.
93
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:58,675
He said you're very
talented. I am. I'm really good.
94
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:00,532
Oscar, oh, you're
such a good friend.
95
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:03,969
Thank you, Oscar. Thank
you. You don't have to thank me.
96
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:05,482
It was your pictures
that convinced him.
97
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:06,549
Really? Yeah.
98
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:08,272
My talent got me the job.
99
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:11,488
I don't have to thank you. Yes,
you do, I also got Gloria a job.
100
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:12,477
Doing what?
101
00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:13,478
Cocktail waitress.
102
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,447
Cocktail waitress?
103
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,193
Well, it's at Hugh
Hefner's club.
104
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:18,561
The magazine has its own club.
105
00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:19,901
I mean, it's a classy joint.
106
00:05:19,937 --> 00:05:21,269
Well, but tell me about me.
107
00:05:21,305 --> 00:05:23,333
What do I do? When do I
start? You start right away.
108
00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:25,201
You have to do some
tests for Miss April.
109
00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:26,524
I don't understand.
110
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,026
Well, you-you take pictures of
six nudes and they choose one
111
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:30,724
to be Miss April in
the centerfold, see?
112
00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:32,380
Nudie cuties?
113
00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:35,228
You're not gonna be
nervous about that, are you?
114
00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:36,918
No, not nervous.
115
00:05:36,954 --> 00:05:40,688
Listen, you know me...
Easy Unger, Mr. Party Guy.
116
00:05:40,724 --> 00:05:42,602
You're Mr. Party Guy?
117
00:05:42,626 --> 00:05:45,627
I'm certainly not one of your
repressed Victorian squares.
118
00:05:45,662 --> 00:05:47,529
I'm an artist. I hang loose.
119
00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:49,075
Oh, you shot nudes
before then, huh?
120
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,164
Millions.
121
00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:52,718
Oh, well, come on, let's
go out and celebrate, huh?
122
00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,130
I got a better idea. What?
123
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:56,554
Let's do something really
great. Let's clean this room.
124
00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,568
Are you kidding? We're
gonna go out and celebrate.
125
00:05:58,592 --> 00:05:59,836
We're gonna go to the club.
126
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,105
We're gonna drink a few
drinks. We're gonna see Gloria.
127
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:03,239
We're gonna laugh a lot.
128
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:04,596
It's gonna be a ball.
129
00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:06,791
You know, I like this
room better in the dark.
130
00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:09,746
Nice, huh?
131
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,870
Yes. I must admit
I'm very impressed.
132
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:13,850
This is very lovely,
indeed. Thank you...
133
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,841
Hey... Felix, please.
134
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,042
Only human.
135
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:18,276
I know, I know. Sit down.
136
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:19,989
It's a very, very
pleasant place.
137
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,791
I'm glad Gloria
has such a nice job.
138
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,648
Good. That's why I
wanted you to see it.
139
00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:26,384
Hello, I'm your bunny, Gloria.
140
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:27,385
Gloria!
141
00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:28,887
Oh, Felix.
142
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:30,789
Shame, shame, Gloria!
143
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:32,957
Naughty, naughty
Gloria! Cover your...!
144
00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:34,525
Felix, please.
145
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:37,106
Would you explain... these
are my working clothes?
146
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:39,264
Yeah, that's part
of her costume.
147
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:41,177
I think she looks
kinda cute. Oh, you do?
148
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,001
Don't look like that.
Don't... Oh, come on...
149
00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:44,647
Oh, Gloria, what
have they done to you?
150
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:46,615
You look so brazen,
so seductive. Sit down!
151
00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:48,384
Felix! She looks like
everybody else in this club.
152
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,186
All the girls you admired
on the way to the table.
153
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:51,987
Don't compare my
Gloria to those animals.
154
00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:55,124
Sit down so they don't... Felix,
please, I have got to get back to work.
155
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:57,682
Come on, will ya? You weren't
upset by the other Bunnies.
156
00:06:57,717 --> 00:06:59,095
I'm not engaged to
the other Bunnies.
157
00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:00,463
I hate this place!
I hate it! Shh!
158
00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:01,807
All right, all
right, you hate it.
159
00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:04,639
Handle it tactfully...
160
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:07,235
You watch yourself, pervert!
161
00:07:08,946 --> 00:07:10,890
Gloria, I want you to quit this
job! Felix, you're making a scene...
162
00:07:10,914 --> 00:07:12,391
I want you to get
out of here right this...
163
00:07:12,415 --> 00:07:14,393
I can't. What can I...
What can I tell them?
164
00:07:14,417 --> 00:07:15,461
Just tell them
your hop went bad.
165
00:07:15,485 --> 00:07:16,663
I don't care what you tell 'em.
166
00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:18,198
Turn in your tail. Get
out of here. Come on.
167
00:07:18,222 --> 00:07:20,922
Please, I've got
to get back to work.
168
00:07:20,957 --> 00:07:22,235
I'm gonna lose my mind.
169
00:07:22,259 --> 00:07:23,870
I'm going to work for
this organization, huh?
170
00:07:23,894 --> 00:07:26,261
All you have to
do is do a good job,
171
00:07:26,296 --> 00:07:28,456
get successful, marry
Gloria, then she'll quit.
172
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:30,877
Does she have to bend over
173
00:07:30,901 --> 00:07:33,001
so much when she serves?
174
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:36,237
Gloria, do you have to bend
all the way over like this?
175
00:07:36,273 --> 00:07:38,833
Can't you go like
this or like this?
176
00:07:40,777 --> 00:07:42,688
Let me tell you something.
I'm sorry I got you this job.
177
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,690
If you don't like it,
why don't you quit?
178
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:45,775
'Cause I need the job.
179
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,432
You can't have it both ways.
180
00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:49,434
All right, I'm adjusting.
181
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,169
Good. I'm fine, I'm fine.
182
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,637
We'll order champagne
183
00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:54,551
and toast New York's
best young photographer.
184
00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:55,735
Spencer Benedict.
185
00:07:55,759 --> 00:07:57,108
Who's that?
186
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,988
That's me. You don't
think I'm gonna use
187
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:01,372
my real name for nudies, do you?
188
00:08:02,832 --> 00:08:04,832
Eyes front, Mister.
189
00:08:10,006 --> 00:08:12,140
That's very nice.
190
00:08:12,175 --> 00:08:15,376
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
that looks just lovely.
191
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:16,655
That's just perfect. Perfect.
192
00:08:16,679 --> 00:08:18,246
Now, could you make the poses
193
00:08:18,281 --> 00:08:19,559
just a little bit
more languorous,
194
00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:20,715
you know what I mean?
195
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,117
A little more...
196
00:08:22,152 --> 00:08:23,963
Put your hand behind
your head like...
197
00:08:23,987 --> 00:08:25,386
Oh, come on, will you, Felix?!
198
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,021
I'm only trying to
help with the lights.
199
00:08:27,056 --> 00:08:28,634
Oh, but you're
good, you're good.
200
00:08:28,658 --> 00:08:30,191
Aw, cut it out. Will ya?
201
00:08:30,227 --> 00:08:31,537
You're helping me, no, no.
202
00:08:31,561 --> 00:08:33,339
I really don't
understand you. Why?
203
00:08:33,363 --> 00:08:36,697
In a few minutes you're gonna
be shooting six beautiful girls nude.
204
00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:37,898
You're cool as a cucumber.
205
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,812
Well, this is my
job. I'm like a doctor.
206
00:08:39,836 --> 00:08:41,214
Just technical problems to me...
207
00:08:41,238 --> 00:08:42,815
The color, the
composition and all that.
208
00:08:42,839 --> 00:08:44,250
Well, Oscar... Yeah?
209
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,918
I want to thank you
very, very much.
210
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,720
You've been very kind
to lend me your pad.
211
00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:48,954
They didn't want a studio job.
212
00:08:48,978 --> 00:08:50,456
They wanted this.
It's just right, so...
213
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:51,924
The girls are gonna be here soon
214
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,826
so I think the time has
come when you should...
215
00:08:53,850 --> 00:08:54,815
What's the matter?
216
00:08:54,851 --> 00:08:56,751
Oh, boy, oh, I
got a sore throat.
217
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,219
I tell you it's moist out there.
218
00:08:58,255 --> 00:08:59,432
Throat, my foot.
219
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:00,966
I know what you
want, you dirty guy.
220
00:09:00,990 --> 00:09:03,402
60% of showers, chance... You
want to stand around and ogle the girls.
221
00:09:03,426 --> 00:09:04,470
But, Felix... You can't do it.
222
00:09:04,494 --> 00:09:05,704
I'll be okay. No.
223
00:09:05,728 --> 00:09:07,273
I'll sit here, I'll behave.
I'll be fine, honestly.
224
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:08,562
What am I gonna tell the girls?
225
00:09:08,598 --> 00:09:10,542
"Don't pay any attention
to that man in the corner,
226
00:09:10,566 --> 00:09:12,645
he's harmless, his tongue is
always hanging out like that"?
227
00:09:12,669 --> 00:09:14,180
They won't stand for that.
228
00:09:14,204 --> 00:09:15,603
Oh, come on.
229
00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:18,472
How often does a guy get a
chance to get in on the ground floor
230
00:09:18,508 --> 00:09:19,473
of something like this? No!
231
00:09:19,509 --> 00:09:20,853
Oh, I'll be the
boyfriend. The what?
232
00:09:20,877 --> 00:09:22,488
Whenever they do the
story about a Playmate,
233
00:09:22,512 --> 00:09:24,112
they always have
the boyfriend along.
234
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,125
They're running together, they're skiing
together, play horseshoes together...
235
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:28,227
You're gonna be the same
boyfriend for all six girls?
236
00:09:28,251 --> 00:09:30,295
They're only gonna pick one.
You're not the type for that.
237
00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:32,364
That's the swinging bachelor
type, suave, debonair.
238
00:09:32,388 --> 00:09:34,433
That's not... What
am I, chopped liver?
239
00:09:34,457 --> 00:09:35,422
At best.
240
00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:37,424
You never saw me in
my suave, debonair outfit.
241
00:09:37,460 --> 00:09:38,838
Come on, we're
going... out, out.
242
00:09:38,862 --> 00:09:40,762
Felix, I didn't want
to have to say this,
243
00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:42,864
but you see, if you
don't let me stay
244
00:09:42,899 --> 00:09:45,266
then I'm not gonna let you
use my apartment, see?
245
00:09:45,301 --> 00:09:46,312
Well put.
246
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,302
Ah. You got it.
247
00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:48,981
Great. Now, what'll
I tell the girls?
248
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:49,971
I don't know.
249
00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:51,584
You're here to
write the captions.
250
00:09:51,608 --> 00:09:53,286
She skis, she's a
philosophy major,
251
00:09:53,310 --> 00:09:54,737
she wants to be a policewoman...
252
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,038
Typical girl next door.
253
00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:57,106
Oh!
254
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,796
Okay. Would you get that?
255
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:02,032
Hello.
256
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:03,351
I'm Brenda Martin.
257
00:10:03,387 --> 00:10:06,120
Hello, Brenda Martin,
I'm Spencer Benedict.
258
00:10:06,155 --> 00:10:08,523
Now, you can go back
and change in just a minute.
259
00:10:08,558 --> 00:10:09,957
Tell me about yourself.
260
00:10:09,993 --> 00:10:12,422
Are you a dancer or are
you a model? I'm a dancer.
261
00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:13,611
Aha, good.
262
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:15,647
Have you done this
kind of work bef...?
263
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,936
Hello, my dear.
264
00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:23,154
Hello.
265
00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:24,755
I've got my eye on you.
266
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,026
Thank you. Good night.
267
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,694
Bye-bye.
268
00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:34,499
Will you tell me
what you're doing?
269
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:36,946
What was all that... heel
clicking, the hand kissing?
270
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,064
You told me to be a gentleman.
271
00:10:38,088 --> 00:10:40,921
Have you no
conscience whatsoever?
272
00:10:40,957 --> 00:10:43,001
Is there no end
to your chicanery?
273
00:10:43,025 --> 00:10:45,538
You told one girl you're
an exiled polo player.
274
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:48,262
You told another you
lost your eye in a duel.
275
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:51,198
You told that girl you're
a Romanian prince.
276
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,878
Felix, you're not
gonna believe this...
277
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,631
A lot of people take
me for Romanian.
278
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:56,754
Yeah, pastrami lovers.
279
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:00,859
That must be the sixth.
280
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,027
Hello, my...
281
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:04,841
Oh, hi, Gloria, come
on in. Hi, Oscar.
282
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:06,108
Hi, Gloria. Come in. Hi, Felix.
283
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:07,631
How'd you know I was here?
284
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,611
This is where they said
you'd be working today.
285
00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:11,635
Yeah, well, we'll have
another hour or so.
286
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,681
We have another girl coming.
287
00:11:12,705 --> 00:11:14,217
I know, I'm the other girl.
288
00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:15,617
I'm Romanian.
289
00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:17,508
I was wondering...
290
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,282
I don't want to...
291
00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:26,362
You're shaming me!
292
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,197
She's taking off her
clothes back there!
293
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,553
I don't know what to do.
294
00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:32,056
She says if I don't take the
picture, somebody else will.
295
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:33,135
When do we start?
296
00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:35,426
Oh come on, take
that idiot thing off.
297
00:11:35,461 --> 00:11:38,062
What am I supposed to do?
298
00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:40,148
I know... I'll use
photographic tricks.
299
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,610
I'll superimpose the
Eiffel Tower over her
300
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:43,168
and call her Miss
April in Paris.
301
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,247
Why don't you shoot
her with all her clothes on
302
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:46,788
and call it "April Fool"?
303
00:11:46,823 --> 00:11:48,000
I could make her Miss December.
304
00:11:48,024 --> 00:11:49,468
A Santa suit... She's
carrying the sack
305
00:11:49,492 --> 00:11:51,593
in front of her... Will
you stop being...?
306
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:52,638
Felix, I'm ready.
I'm coming out.
307
00:11:52,662 --> 00:11:54,373
No, no, don't come
out. Not, not yet, not yet.
308
00:11:54,397 --> 00:11:55,874
Come on, out of here.
Come on. Let's go.
309
00:11:55,898 --> 00:11:57,743
What do you mean? I
live here. Out. Amscray.
310
00:11:57,767 --> 00:11:59,178
All right. Let me
change my jacket.
311
00:11:59,202 --> 00:12:00,980
You're not going back
there. Come on, get out.
312
00:12:01,004 --> 00:12:03,149
Why not? Felix, where am
I gonna go? I don't know.
313
00:12:03,173 --> 00:12:05,807
Wherever exiled, one-eyed
Romanian polo players go.
314
00:12:05,842 --> 00:12:07,074
All right.
315
00:12:07,109 --> 00:12:08,776
I'll go see half a movie.
316
00:12:11,013 --> 00:12:12,558
What are you doing here?
317
00:12:12,582 --> 00:12:13,715
I work here. Remember?
318
00:12:13,750 --> 00:12:14,949
What are you doing here?
319
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:17,196
I'm supposed to meet
the art editor, Al Fisher,
320
00:12:17,220 --> 00:12:19,064
show him my pictures.
Hey, how'd they turn out?
321
00:12:19,088 --> 00:12:21,055
Nice, nice.
322
00:12:21,090 --> 00:12:22,218
And what about Gloria's shots?
323
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,908
Overexposed.
324
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:25,410
Hey, now, you didn't cop out
325
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,056
with that April in
Paris bit, did you?
326
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,157
No, she wouldn't let me.
327
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:29,564
She's totally unencumbered.
328
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:31,627
Oh, yeah? Let me
see. No. Fat chance!
329
00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:33,980
I'm not gonna use
Gloria, anyway. Why not?
330
00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:35,703
She's got a mole on her knee.
331
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,600
Who cares about a
mole on her knee?
332
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:38,839
They want them perfect.
333
00:12:38,875 --> 00:12:41,092
Oh, they don't want
'em that perfect. They...
334
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:42,638
How are you? Oh,
hi, Al. Nice to see you.
335
00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:43,806
How are you? Nice seeing you.
336
00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:45,274
This is our art
director, Al Fisher.
337
00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:46,931
This is Felix Unger.
338
00:12:46,966 --> 00:12:48,677
How do you do?
How do you do? Hi.
339
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:50,335
Sit, sit, sit.
340
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,014
You got some pictures
for me, right? Yes, yes.
341
00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:53,682
There you are. Good,
good. Let me see.
342
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:55,351
Sit back. Oh, come on.
343
00:12:55,375 --> 00:13:00,694
Nice, nice... Nice, nice, uh...
344
00:13:00,730 --> 00:13:01,758
Where's the sixth one?
345
00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:04,015
Sixth one? Oh, yeah, uh...
346
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:05,878
You wouldn't like that
one. It turned out badly.
347
00:13:05,902 --> 00:13:07,764
Oh, I'll be the judge
of what is good.
348
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:10,099
Felix, you contracted for
six. Give him six, will you?
349
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,200
You're not gonna like it.
350
00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:12,790
It, it's no good, it's, uh,
351
00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:14,626
it's a total worthless waste.
352
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:17,712
I was, I was going
to throw it away.
353
00:13:17,747 --> 00:13:19,380
Worthless?
354
00:13:19,415 --> 00:13:22,350
Well, we artists
always hide our failures.
355
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,367
Will you sit back?
All right, just...
356
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:29,423
She's beautiful.
357
00:13:29,458 --> 00:13:30,870
Let me look at her
in the light here.
358
00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:32,293
Here let me look at her, too.
359
00:13:32,328 --> 00:13:34,139
Will you bug off? Get
back, get back. Oh, come on.
360
00:13:34,163 --> 00:13:36,230
You too, mister, mind
your own business.
361
00:13:36,266 --> 00:13:38,294
I, I love that mole on her knee.
362
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,461
Oh, yeah, let me see the mole.
363
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,380
Go peddle your papers.
364
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:43,871
Felix, this is Miss April.
365
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:45,351
I, I think you're
making a mistake.
366
00:13:45,375 --> 00:13:46,469
I really do.
367
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,203
I got another one
here that's really...
368
00:13:48,227 --> 00:13:49,961
All five are better,
as a matter of fact.
369
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,474
Well, if you want a third
opinion, let me see...
370
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,075
You're not going to see
this picture. Why not?
371
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:54,844
Everybody's gonna see
it in April. No, they're not.
372
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,378
You can't print this
picture. Why not?
373
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:58,035
Because. Because why?
374
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:01,472
Because... because it's a fake.
375
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:02,651
This picture is actually
376
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,643
of Oscar's doorman,
Bud Downey, yeah.
377
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,723
It's amazing what you
can do with an air brush.
378
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:09,057
I'm, I'm so ashamed of myself.
379
00:14:09,081 --> 00:14:10,392
Hey, come on,
give me Miss April.
380
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:11,594
No, you're not
going to print that.
381
00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:13,261
No, you're not.
Over my dead body.
382
00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:14,602
You can torture me.
383
00:14:14,638 --> 00:14:16,604
You've got a
contract, Mr. Unger.
384
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,106
I'm sorry.
385
00:14:18,141 --> 00:14:19,607
I'll sue you!
386
00:14:19,643 --> 00:14:21,909
I'll sue your head off!
387
00:14:23,146 --> 00:14:24,112
I will, too.
388
00:14:24,147 --> 00:14:25,446
I'll sue him.
389
00:14:25,481 --> 00:14:27,292
How're you gonna sue
him? It's a big corporation.
390
00:14:27,316 --> 00:14:29,629
They got the best lawyers in the
world. I'll get the biggest lawyer
391
00:14:29,653 --> 00:14:31,196
in the country, Melvin Belli.
392
00:14:31,220 --> 00:14:32,932
He's the only one who can
do it. He wouldn't touch it.
393
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,634
Who needs him?
I'll do it myself.
394
00:14:34,658 --> 00:14:36,791
Felix, don't you understand
you don't have a case?
395
00:14:36,826 --> 00:14:38,259
Gloria wants the
picture printed.
396
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:39,772
Oh, who listens
to anything a girl
397
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:42,356
who walks around nude says?
398
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,982
I always have.
399
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:55,137
Be ready. I'm gonna put you on
the stand as a character witness.
400
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:57,306
Order, please.
401
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,642
The case of Felix Unger
402
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:02,233
suing the Hugh
Hefner Corporation.
403
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:04,964
Are you both
satisfied with the jury?
404
00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:06,954
We are, Your Honor.
405
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,968
Eminently satisfied, Your Honor.
406
00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:10,635
Hi, Frank, how are you?
407
00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:14,095
Bob... And a big hello
408
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:15,907
to Sister Evangeline
of the Salvation Army.
409
00:15:15,931 --> 00:15:18,065
You do good work.
Wonderful organization.
410
00:15:18,101 --> 00:15:20,429
Please, Mr. Unger,
411
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:21,919
when we recess,
412
00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:24,322
why don't you just give
each juror an apple?
413
00:15:27,894 --> 00:15:29,872
Do you still want to
handle your own case?
414
00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:31,512
Yes, Your Judgeship, I do.
415
00:15:31,548 --> 00:15:35,349
Very well, you may
begin, Mr. Hoffman.
416
00:15:35,384 --> 00:15:37,585
Oh, thank you, Your Honor.
417
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:39,537
I'll be brief.
418
00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:42,068
Objection, Your Honor.
419
00:15:42,092 --> 00:15:43,591
On what grounds?
420
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:46,677
My esteemed colleague is
attempting to prejudice the jury
421
00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:48,346
by being brief.
422
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:51,482
Thereby insinuating that I
will be lengthy and boring.
423
00:15:52,569 --> 00:15:54,084
Objection overruled.
424
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,604
Thank you, Your Honor.
425
00:15:58,441 --> 00:15:59,873
It's an open and shut case.
426
00:15:59,909 --> 00:16:02,876
He really has no
grounds to sue us.
427
00:16:02,912 --> 00:16:05,879
Mr. Felix Unger
signed a legal contract
428
00:16:05,915 --> 00:16:08,048
with Hugh Hefner Corporation
429
00:16:08,084 --> 00:16:10,184
to supply us with six subjects.
430
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:12,198
He has only
supplied us with five,
431
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:15,318
and he has refused to
allow us to print the sixth.
432
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:16,874
Now, then,
433
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:18,554
I would like to
enter into evidence
434
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,556
this contract marked
as Exhibit "A".
435
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:21,879
May I see this, please?
436
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:23,715
Hmm.
437
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:26,851
You're building a case on this?
438
00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:28,397
Look at this, Your Honor.
439
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,054
This is what he's
building a case on.
440
00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:32,056
He thinks he's got a case.
441
00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:35,326
Is this the contract? Yes.
442
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:37,340
Is this your signature? Yes.
443
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,430
A heck of a case.
444
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,667
Legal minds may differ,
445
00:16:43,702 --> 00:16:45,669
but it is our
contention, Your Honor,
446
00:16:45,704 --> 00:16:49,602
that I signed this mere scrap of
paper under emotional duress.
447
00:16:49,626 --> 00:16:52,093
He was under no duress.
448
00:16:52,128 --> 00:16:54,579
Balderdash!
449
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,152
Very well.
450
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,820
We would therefore like to call
451
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,001
as our first and only
witness to the stand
452
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:07,625
Mr. Oscar Madison.
453
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:12,758
He's gonna put my
best friend on the stand.
454
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:15,716
He thinks it's gonna
do him some good.
455
00:17:18,988 --> 00:17:20,288
You blew it, buddy!
456
00:17:20,323 --> 00:17:21,734
You had me on that
contract business
457
00:17:21,758 --> 00:17:22,768
and you didn't know it.
458
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,091
Now you blew it.
459
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:27,695
Mr. Madison, were you present
460
00:17:27,730 --> 00:17:29,697
when Mr. Unger
signed this contract?
461
00:17:29,732 --> 00:17:31,243
Yes, I was. Good.
462
00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:32,767
And will you
please tell the Court
463
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,785
exactly what was
his reaction to this?
464
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:40,440
Well... well, difficult
for me to say.
465
00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:42,276
Aw, well now, come, Mr. Madison,
466
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:44,278
I'm sure you can remember.
467
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:47,114
Tell us, how did he act?
468
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:50,579
Well, he threw his hat up in
the air and yelled "Yippee."
469
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,581
Yelled what?
470
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,889
Yippee!
471
00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:56,908
Yippee.
472
00:17:56,943 --> 00:17:58,910
Well, no further
questions, Your Honor.
473
00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:00,711
Your witness.
474
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:10,387
Mr. Madison, where
are you employed?
475
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:11,667
Playboy magazine.
476
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:12,891
I beg your pardon, what, what?
477
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,492
Playboy magazine.
478
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:16,694
Ah! Well, well, well!
479
00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:20,647
And how long did you think
you could keep that from us?
480
00:18:22,585 --> 00:18:24,530
I wasn't trying to keep
anything from you.
481
00:18:24,554 --> 00:18:27,187
Your Honor, this man
is obviously a stooge
482
00:18:27,222 --> 00:18:28,367
of management.
483
00:18:28,391 --> 00:18:30,858
A corporation puppet.
484
00:18:30,894 --> 00:18:33,694
One of those little gray men
485
00:18:33,729 --> 00:18:35,863
you see skulking
through the halls
486
00:18:35,899 --> 00:18:39,200
of any giant cartel.
487
00:18:39,235 --> 00:18:44,372
Nameless, faceless
men without scruples,
488
00:18:44,407 --> 00:18:46,367
trying to claw
their way to the top.
489
00:18:47,911 --> 00:18:50,211
I think I speak
for this entire court
490
00:18:50,246 --> 00:18:52,546
when I say, you make me sick.
491
00:18:52,581 --> 00:18:53,847
Get off the stand.
492
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,568
Mr. Hoffman...
493
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:17,383
Mr. Hoffman, any more witnesses?
494
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:20,040
Defense rests, Your Honor.
495
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:22,209
Mr. Unger,
496
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:23,589
you may present your case.
497
00:19:24,747 --> 00:19:28,415
You will not find me
unprepared, Your Honor.
498
00:19:30,319 --> 00:19:35,289
I have contrived what I consider
to be an uncontestable case.
499
00:19:35,324 --> 00:19:39,460
I will cite legal ethics,
500
00:19:39,495 --> 00:19:43,631
moral standards for the ladies,
501
00:19:43,666 --> 00:19:46,300
publishing precedent
502
00:19:46,335 --> 00:19:50,304
and good old common sense.
503
00:19:50,339 --> 00:19:53,140
In order that the
Court may judge
504
00:19:53,175 --> 00:19:57,311
what sort of man stands
here alone before it,
505
00:19:57,346 --> 00:20:00,314
I will call to the stand
as a character witness,
506
00:20:00,349 --> 00:20:03,617
Oscar Madison.
507
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:08,022
You make me sick!
508
00:20:12,528 --> 00:20:13,828
No further questions.
509
00:20:15,364 --> 00:20:19,333
I believe this case will
stand on its own merits.
510
00:20:19,368 --> 00:20:21,335
Let's look, shall
we, at the evidence.
511
00:20:21,370 --> 00:20:23,738
Give me a break, Your
Honor, this is my fiancée.
512
00:20:23,773 --> 00:20:27,274
I don't want everybody staring
at her like the other ones...
513
00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:29,955
Please, Mr. Unger,
we don't whine
514
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,957
in court. How would you feel
515
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:34,793
if a national magazine printed
a naked picture of your wife?
516
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,016
Amazed.
517
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:38,035
Be that as it may,
518
00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:39,370
that's your problem, not mine.
519
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:42,206
Now, now, Mr. Unger,
the law is the law.
520
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,219
If the photo were obscene,
521
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,388
you might have an
argument. It is. I know. I took it.
522
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:47,678
I'm an obscene photographer.
523
00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:51,749
Well, that could be
a point of contention.
524
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:53,133
Bring me the photograph.
525
00:20:53,169 --> 00:20:54,217
No, I'd rather not.
526
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,169
What?!
527
00:20:55,204 --> 00:20:57,016
Do I have a choice?
528
00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:00,407
Yes. You can bring me
the picture or be cited for
529
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:01,740
contempt.
530
00:21:03,395 --> 00:21:05,329
Some choice.
531
00:21:24,149 --> 00:21:26,127
Well, it's a bit irregular,
532
00:21:26,151 --> 00:21:28,129
but as long as the jury is here,
533
00:21:28,153 --> 00:21:29,798
why not let the
jury decide? No, no.
534
00:21:29,822 --> 00:21:31,333
Please don't, not
not the jury. Bailiff.
535
00:21:31,357 --> 00:21:33,290
Yes, Your Honor.
536
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:39,046
Even the bailiff gets to see it.
537
00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:56,330
You haven't got a prayer.
538
00:22:02,105 --> 00:22:04,149
They threw him back to
the Minors, the guy was...
539
00:22:04,173 --> 00:22:05,951
I love sports stories like that.
540
00:22:05,975 --> 00:22:07,291
Am I interrupting something?
541
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:08,970
Felix! I got a message
you wanted to see me.
542
00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:10,160
Excuse me, girls.
543
00:22:10,195 --> 00:22:11,239
I've been lookin'
all over for you.
544
00:22:11,263 --> 00:22:12,574
Where you been? Walking.
545
00:22:12,598 --> 00:22:14,231
Where? Where? Walking.
546
00:22:14,266 --> 00:22:17,067
I walked, I walked.
547
00:22:17,102 --> 00:22:19,564
I kept thinking about April.
548
00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:23,724
April used to be my
most favorite month.
549
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:26,494
Spring housecleaning...
550
00:22:26,529 --> 00:22:28,529
April showers bring May flowers.
551
00:22:28,564 --> 00:22:29,942
Are you through
feeling sorry for yourself?
552
00:22:29,966 --> 00:22:31,710
In April, 15 million people,
553
00:22:31,734 --> 00:22:35,869
30 million eyes, are
gonna be staring at my girl.
554
00:22:35,905 --> 00:22:37,932
What's my mother gonna think?
555
00:22:37,956 --> 00:22:39,584
A woman who told
me when I was a kid
556
00:22:39,608 --> 00:22:41,688
if I read National
Geographic I'd go blind.
557
00:22:46,199 --> 00:22:47,164
Oscar.
558
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,178
Oh, hi, Hef. How are you?
559
00:22:49,202 --> 00:22:50,612
Hugh Hefner, Felix Unger.
560
00:22:50,636 --> 00:22:51,980
Felix. This is Hugh Hefner.
561
00:22:52,004 --> 00:22:54,183
You think a big man like
that could afford a jacket.
562
00:22:54,207 --> 00:22:55,283
He's been very
anxious to meet you.
563
00:22:55,307 --> 00:22:56,451
What does he want of me now?
564
00:22:56,475 --> 00:22:57,953
My well-built aunt
from Cleveland?
565
00:22:57,977 --> 00:22:59,955
Will you sit down and hold
it? Let the man talk to you?
566
00:22:59,979 --> 00:23:01,056
He needs to tell you something.
567
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,080
See, that a boy.
568
00:23:02,115 --> 00:23:03,280
Be nice.
569
00:23:03,315 --> 00:23:06,233
Well, Felix, I just got
back from London,
570
00:23:06,268 --> 00:23:07,584
and I heard about your problem.
571
00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:09,569
You've come to gloat? No, I, uh,
572
00:23:09,605 --> 00:23:10,737
I think you're kinda spunky.
573
00:23:10,773 --> 00:23:12,406
Even though we won the suit,
574
00:23:12,441 --> 00:23:14,253
I don't force people
to publish their work.
575
00:23:14,277 --> 00:23:15,676
We'll find someone else
576
00:23:15,711 --> 00:23:17,523
for Miss April. You're gonna
give me my picture back?
577
00:23:17,547 --> 00:23:18,495
Mole and all.
578
00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:19,763
Oh, thank you, thank you.
579
00:23:19,798 --> 00:23:20,997
You're a wonderful man.
580
00:23:21,033 --> 00:23:22,273
You look good without a jacket.
581
00:23:22,301 --> 00:23:23,250
Nice meeting you.
582
00:23:23,286 --> 00:23:24,919
Hey, who is gonna be Miss April?
583
00:23:24,954 --> 00:23:26,431
Well, I think we're
gonna use one of, uh,
584
00:23:26,455 --> 00:23:27,465
Felix's other pictures.
585
00:23:27,489 --> 00:23:28,655
You know, you're,
586
00:23:28,691 --> 00:23:30,202
you're really quite a
good photographer,
587
00:23:30,226 --> 00:23:31,859
but a lousy lawyer.
588
00:23:31,894 --> 00:23:34,173
Wonderful sense of
humor. See you later.
589
00:23:34,197 --> 00:23:35,207
You're a great guy.
590
00:23:35,231 --> 00:23:37,209
You know, you're a lot
like me in many respects.
591
00:23:37,233 --> 00:23:38,443
You're civilized. I like that.
592
00:23:38,467 --> 00:23:41,987
- Can I call you Hef?
- Mr. Hef.
593
00:23:46,408 --> 00:23:47,986
No, you don't! Give me that!
594
00:23:50,446 --> 00:23:52,246
I want to see the
mole, that's all...
595
00:23:56,569 --> 00:23:58,580
Gee, Oscar, that
was a great story.
596
00:23:58,604 --> 00:24:01,571
I was totally enruptured.
597
00:24:01,607 --> 00:24:04,475
Murray, you killed me again!
598
00:24:05,811 --> 00:24:08,378
Hmm. You told them the
whole sordid episode, huh?
599
00:24:08,414 --> 00:24:09,791
One thing still confuses me.
600
00:24:09,815 --> 00:24:11,164
What?
601
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:12,700
If Mr. Hefner was so nice to you
602
00:24:12,735 --> 00:24:14,200
why are you still angry at him?
603
00:24:14,236 --> 00:24:16,787
Well, can't you imagine the
embarrassment I went through?
604
00:24:16,822 --> 00:24:19,290
Two of those jurors
called Gloria for years
605
00:24:19,325 --> 00:24:20,423
after we were married.
606
00:24:22,511 --> 00:24:25,478
The judge still writes to her.
607
00:24:25,514 --> 00:24:28,549
You know, there's one
thing that just eats at me.
608
00:24:28,584 --> 00:24:29,995
What's that? Before I got
609
00:24:30,019 --> 00:24:31,885
that negative back
from the magazine,
610
00:24:31,921 --> 00:24:35,372
some wiseacre up there
made ten copies of that picture.
611
00:24:35,407 --> 00:24:38,325
I got nine of them back.
612
00:24:40,029 --> 00:24:42,296
And I won't rest till
I find that tenth one.
44217
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