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1
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??
2
00:00:03,953 --> 00:00:06,308
Moving-truck-moving-truck-
moving-truck-moving-truck!
3
00:00:06,310 --> 00:00:08,576
We're getting new neighbors!
4
00:00:08,578 --> 00:00:11,313
Mom, back away from the window.
5
00:00:11,315 --> 00:00:13,181
Niiice and sloooow.
6
00:00:13,183 --> 00:00:14,916
You don't wanna scare 'em off, do ya?
7
00:00:14,918 --> 00:00:16,384
[MUFFLED] I won't do that!
8
00:00:16,386 --> 00:00:18,987
- Git her, Mr. S!
- Let me go!
9
00:00:18,989 --> 00:00:20,922
I'm not gonna scare 'em away!
10
00:00:20,924 --> 00:00:23,057
[STRAINING] Yes, you will.
11
00:00:23,059 --> 00:00:26,127
Why do you think no new
neighbors ever stick around?
12
00:00:26,129 --> 00:00:28,897
You do tend to come on too strong,
Francine.
13
00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:32,200
[SIGHING] I know I do...
14
00:00:32,202 --> 00:00:33,935
I just get excited.
15
00:00:33,937 --> 00:00:37,005
Excited to grow our little community.
16
00:00:37,007 --> 00:00:38,272
Frickin' sue me.
17
00:00:38,274 --> 00:00:39,674
[HORN HONKS]
18
00:00:42,012 --> 00:00:43,945
[GASPS] There's a dad.
19
00:00:43,947 --> 00:00:47,482
And a... young single dad, maybe?
20
00:00:47,484 --> 00:00:49,484
That's a teenage girl.
21
00:00:49,486 --> 00:00:51,987
I know because I see them on the CW.
22
00:00:54,424 --> 00:00:56,290
[MUFFLED] A wiiiife!
23
00:00:56,292 --> 00:01:00,428
There's a wiiiiiffffeee!
24
00:01:00,430 --> 00:01:02,964
??
25
00:01:02,966 --> 00:01:06,033
? Good morning, U.S.A. ?
26
00:01:06,068 --> 00:01:09,303
? I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ?
27
00:01:09,305 --> 00:01:12,306
? The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ?
28
00:01:12,308 --> 00:01:16,945
? And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ?
29
00:01:18,648 --> 00:01:21,983
? Oh, boy, it's swell to say ?
30
00:01:21,985 --> 00:01:24,919
- ? Good... ?
- ? Good morning, U.S.A. ?
31
00:01:24,921 --> 00:01:25,987
Aah!
32
00:01:26,923 --> 00:01:30,458
? Good morning, U.S.A. ?
33
00:01:30,460 --> 00:01:31,860
[DISH RATTLING]
34
00:01:31,862 --> 00:01:34,462
Just havin' a stare
at the front door again, Franny?
35
00:01:34,464 --> 00:01:35,597
Me? No.
36
00:01:35,599 --> 00:01:37,199
I'm trying to calm my nerves
37
00:01:37,201 --> 00:01:39,467
before we welcome the new neighbors.
38
00:01:39,469 --> 00:01:41,335
Isn't that in like four hours?
39
00:01:41,337 --> 00:01:42,670
You know what they say,
40
00:01:42,672 --> 00:01:44,338
early bird gets the great neighbors
41
00:01:44,340 --> 00:01:45,940
and the thriving community.
42
00:01:45,942 --> 00:01:47,475
Well, it has a nice ring to it.
43
00:01:47,477 --> 00:01:50,278
I might start saying it myself,
but it won't be today.
44
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:51,880
Today, I'm a boy's kite.
45
00:01:51,882 --> 00:01:53,615
And I have to be hanging in his shed
46
00:01:53,617 --> 00:01:55,417
before his deadbeat mom gets there.
47
00:01:55,419 --> 00:01:57,685
She visits him once a
year on his birthday
48
00:01:57,687 --> 00:01:59,554
and they take me out and fly me.
49
00:01:59,556 --> 00:02:01,022
That sounds depressing.
50
00:02:01,024 --> 00:02:02,424
That's the point.
51
00:02:02,426 --> 00:02:05,026
All the time, I'm having
so much fun with my personas.
52
00:02:05,028 --> 00:02:07,295
But you can't have the
highs without the lows.
53
00:02:07,297 --> 00:02:10,498
Just like you can't have
a rainbow without orange.
54
00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:12,033
The shittiest color.
55
00:02:12,035 --> 00:02:13,902
ANNOUNCER: That's right,
the color orange...
56
00:02:13,904 --> 00:02:16,504
You've been dadded!
57
00:02:16,506 --> 00:02:18,106
I get it. Oh, well.
58
00:02:18,108 --> 00:02:20,374
I hope you have an awful day.
59
00:02:20,376 --> 00:02:21,843
Thanks, I will...
60
00:02:21,845 --> 00:02:23,311
- [CLANG!]
- Ow!
61
00:02:23,313 --> 00:02:24,313
Ugh! Dammit!
62
00:02:24,314 --> 00:02:28,450
A perfect start to a terrible dayyyy!
63
00:02:28,585 --> 00:02:31,019
- _
- [DISH RATTLING]
64
00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:32,120
_
65
00:02:32,256 --> 00:02:34,522
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
66
00:02:34,524 --> 00:02:35,590
[DOORBELL RINGS]
67
00:02:35,592 --> 00:02:37,391
Mom. Try and relax.
68
00:02:37,393 --> 00:02:39,327
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
69
00:02:39,329 --> 00:02:40,528
Hi, I'm Jessica!
70
00:02:40,530 --> 00:02:42,196
Hi, Jessica, I'm Francine!
71
00:02:42,198 --> 00:02:43,799
I made you a casserole!
72
00:02:45,068 --> 00:02:46,268
There's nothing in there!
73
00:02:46,270 --> 00:02:48,737
I know! I was too excited to make it!
74
00:02:48,739 --> 00:02:51,005
And I was too excited to
go to the store for lemons!
75
00:02:51,007 --> 00:02:52,941
This is just tap water and mustard!
76
00:02:53,944 --> 00:02:57,011
Wha-ho-ho, trippy.
77
00:02:57,013 --> 00:02:58,613
[DISHES RATTLING]
78
00:02:58,615 --> 00:03:00,014
Holy cow, Mr. Klaus,
79
00:03:00,016 --> 00:03:02,284
this fish looks exactly like you!
80
00:03:02,286 --> 00:03:03,885
- It does not.
- I see it.
81
00:03:03,887 --> 00:03:05,287
- Totally.
- Like twins!
82
00:03:05,289 --> 00:03:06,488
This is a bit.
83
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:07,889
You guys are joking on me.
84
00:03:07,891 --> 00:03:09,757
It's got a big, stupid head thing!
85
00:03:09,759 --> 00:03:11,425
Ah, you've met my fish.
86
00:03:11,427 --> 00:03:13,427
I'm Donald. And that's kashi.
87
00:03:13,429 --> 00:03:14,496
She's a sheepshead wrasse.
88
00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:16,832
That must be what you are, Klaus.
89
00:03:17,768 --> 00:03:19,834
Hey there, neighbor. I'm Jake.
90
00:03:19,836 --> 00:03:21,770
Wanna hang out in my man cave?
91
00:03:21,772 --> 00:03:23,171
My dude cavern?
92
00:03:23,173 --> 00:03:24,506
My guy hole?
93
00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:26,174
Guy hole, you say?
94
00:03:26,176 --> 00:03:27,642
Lead the way.
95
00:03:28,979 --> 00:03:31,780
Donald, those are some sick frames.
96
00:03:31,782 --> 00:03:33,782
What's your prescription?
97
00:03:35,585 --> 00:03:37,786
Right eye minus five...
98
00:03:37,788 --> 00:03:40,088
Left eye minus four!
99
00:03:40,390 --> 00:03:42,456
Mm.
100
00:03:42,458 --> 00:03:43,858
You guys get high?
101
00:03:43,860 --> 00:03:46,561
Does your fish look
identical to Mr. Klaus?
102
00:03:49,733 --> 00:03:51,366
??
103
00:03:51,368 --> 00:03:54,169
LITTLE BOY: Be right there, Mom!
Just gonna grab my kite!
104
00:03:54,171 --> 00:03:55,837
Okay, here we go.
105
00:03:55,839 --> 00:03:57,639
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
106
00:03:57,641 --> 00:03:59,507
Gahhhh! Perfect.
107
00:03:59,509 --> 00:04:01,977
[GRUNTING]
108
00:04:04,047 --> 00:04:06,914
Okay, the worst is over...
109
00:04:06,916 --> 00:04:08,884
- [ELECTRICITY ZAPPING]
- Aah-ah! Aah!
110
00:04:13,523 --> 00:04:14,722
Wow.
111
00:04:14,724 --> 00:04:16,924
Our basement is unfinished,
but this is next level.
112
00:04:16,926 --> 00:04:18,794
It's the reason I bought this house.
113
00:04:18,796 --> 00:04:20,862
Perfect conditions for my hobby.
114
00:04:20,864 --> 00:04:22,530
I age my own blue cheese.
115
00:04:22,532 --> 00:04:24,232
Rip yourself off a chunk.
116
00:04:26,536 --> 00:04:29,270
Uhh... That took me six years to make.
117
00:04:29,272 --> 00:04:30,672
[MUFFLED] It's delicious.
118
00:04:30,674 --> 00:04:32,940
Can I tell you how thrilled I am
119
00:04:32,942 --> 00:04:35,610
to finally have another
woman right next door?
120
00:04:35,612 --> 00:04:38,213
I'm thrilled you didn't run for
the hills the moment we met.
121
00:04:38,215 --> 00:04:40,548
My family says I come on a bit strong.
122
00:04:40,550 --> 00:04:41,817
Shut. Up.
123
00:04:41,819 --> 00:04:44,085
My family says the same thing about me!
124
00:04:44,087 --> 00:04:46,822
O-M-G, hilarious!
125
00:04:46,824 --> 00:04:48,824
But really, all I want is for my family
126
00:04:48,826 --> 00:04:50,358
to be part of a nice community.
127
00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:51,693
Me too!
128
00:04:51,695 --> 00:04:53,561
[TOGETHER] Frickin' sue me!
129
00:04:53,563 --> 00:04:55,230
[BOTH LAUGH]
130
00:04:55,232 --> 00:04:56,764
??
131
00:04:56,766 --> 00:04:58,834
[LAUGHTER]
132
00:04:58,836 --> 00:05:07,642
??
133
00:05:08,223 --> 00:05:10,045
The wind's really good, Mom!
134
00:05:10,047 --> 00:05:13,314
I bet if my string was longer,
it could fly to the moon!
135
00:05:13,316 --> 00:05:15,316
[BELCHES]
136
00:05:15,318 --> 00:05:18,986
You know what,
I got a pretty good buzz goin'.
137
00:05:18,988 --> 00:05:20,655
And since it's your birthday...
138
00:05:20,657 --> 00:05:21,723
Wait, right?
139
00:05:21,725 --> 00:05:23,391
- Yeah.
- Good.
140
00:05:23,393 --> 00:05:26,394
Because of that,
how 'bout we see how high we can fly
141
00:05:26,396 --> 00:05:28,329
that weird-ass kite of yours together?
142
00:05:28,331 --> 00:05:30,532
[GASPS] Do you really mean it?!
143
00:05:30,534 --> 00:05:31,733
Happy birthday.
144
00:05:31,735 --> 00:05:34,402
A big ball of twine?!
145
00:05:34,404 --> 00:05:37,405
This is the best birthday ever!
146
00:05:37,407 --> 00:05:39,674
Ugh. This is depressing.
147
00:05:39,676 --> 00:05:41,342
This is perfect.
148
00:05:41,344 --> 00:05:47,682
??
149
00:05:47,684 --> 00:05:50,218
[DOOR CREAKS]
150
00:05:51,154 --> 00:05:53,354
[KNOCKS] It's go time.
151
00:05:53,356 --> 00:05:56,624
- I thought we were saying "it's show time" now?
- Right.
152
00:05:56,626 --> 00:05:58,960
By the way,
Oscar-worthy performance earlier
153
00:05:58,962 --> 00:06:00,428
pretending to like the new neighbors.
154
00:06:00,430 --> 00:06:01,829
You weren't so bad yourself.
155
00:06:01,831 --> 00:06:03,765
Thanks. It's show time.
156
00:06:03,767 --> 00:06:05,166
I'll send the signal.
157
00:06:05,168 --> 00:06:06,968
I think I actually prefer
"it's go time."
158
00:06:06,970 --> 00:06:08,436
Whatever it is, it's time.
159
00:06:08,438 --> 00:06:10,238
Gather everyone while I send the signal.
160
00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:11,639
It's show time.
161
00:06:11,641 --> 00:06:13,775
I think "show time"
would go better with these.
162
00:06:13,777 --> 00:06:16,244
I love it. That's what we do now.
163
00:06:17,647 --> 00:06:26,254
??
164
00:06:26,256 --> 00:06:29,324
Oooh, Stan's cauldron is ablaze.
165
00:06:30,794 --> 00:06:31,993
Oooh!
166
00:06:31,995 --> 00:06:41,603
??
167
00:06:41,605 --> 00:06:45,974
Oh, Al, again on the toilet
for the cauldrons?
168
00:06:48,083 --> 00:06:49,344
Oh, surprise, surprise.
169
00:06:49,346 --> 00:06:52,914
Stan's using my cauldron
again without asking.
170
00:06:54,951 --> 00:06:57,652
??
171
00:06:57,654 --> 00:06:58,920
Bro.
172
00:06:58,922 --> 00:07:00,922
You promised no blow
until the afterparty.
173
00:07:00,924 --> 00:07:03,258
Jeez, Klaus. I only did a teeny bit!
174
00:07:03,260 --> 00:07:04,593
I get excited for these!
175
00:07:04,595 --> 00:07:06,261
Greg, please release the banner...
176
00:07:06,263 --> 00:07:07,929
Whoo!
177
00:07:07,931 --> 00:07:09,464
Welcome, neighbor haters.
178
00:07:09,466 --> 00:07:10,799
We're gathered here tonight
179
00:07:10,801 --> 00:07:13,134
because we got new neighbors in town...
180
00:07:13,136 --> 00:07:14,803
- Aaaah!
- Chill, Greg.
181
00:07:14,805 --> 00:07:18,273
Everyone, place a hand atop
the book of stolen doormats
182
00:07:18,275 --> 00:07:20,741
as we recite our oath.
183
00:07:20,743 --> 00:07:23,878
We, the members of the Cherry
Street Neighbor Haters Club,
184
00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,881
do solemnly swear to drive
away all new neighbors,
185
00:07:26,883 --> 00:07:28,817
before they can annoy
the hell out of us...
186
00:07:28,819 --> 00:07:31,352
With their "hey, how ya doin's"...
187
00:07:31,354 --> 00:07:32,954
And their lawnmower fumes...
188
00:07:32,956 --> 00:07:37,225
And their "at this house we
believe in science" signs.
189
00:07:37,227 --> 00:07:38,426
And most of all,
190
00:07:38,428 --> 00:07:40,629
their disgusting, unfamiliar faces
191
00:07:40,631 --> 00:07:42,764
and sometimes-hard- to-remember names.
192
00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,165
Like Frank!
193
00:07:44,167 --> 00:07:45,767
[TOGETHER] Bye-bye, losers!
194
00:07:45,769 --> 00:07:49,304
Dad? Is there something
wrong with your damn hand?
195
00:07:49,306 --> 00:07:50,972
You didn't wave bye-bye to the losers.
196
00:07:50,974 --> 00:07:53,842
I knew those incredible
eagle eyes of yours
197
00:07:53,844 --> 00:07:56,711
would someday come to haunt me.
198
00:07:56,713 --> 00:07:59,514
I'm having second thoughts about
driving away the new neighbors.
199
00:07:59,516 --> 00:08:01,450
- [ALL GASP]
- Daddy, no!
200
00:08:01,452 --> 00:08:03,384
Daddy yes, Steve.
201
00:08:03,386 --> 00:08:04,719
Francine really hit it off
202
00:08:04,721 --> 00:08:06,587
with this new neighbor wife last night.
203
00:08:06,589 --> 00:08:08,123
Of course she did!
204
00:08:08,125 --> 00:08:10,124
She loves neighbors.
205
00:08:10,126 --> 00:08:11,392
And we hate them!
206
00:08:11,394 --> 00:08:13,662
"Hey, how ya doin'?" Puh!
207
00:08:13,664 --> 00:08:15,930
Dad, the fact that Mom
hit it off with Jessica
208
00:08:15,932 --> 00:08:19,468
only means way more neighborly
things are on the horizon.
209
00:08:19,470 --> 00:08:20,669
Think about it.
210
00:08:20,671 --> 00:08:22,471
"Can we use your pool, Stan?"
211
00:08:22,473 --> 00:08:24,405
"Can we borrow your hammer, Stan?"
212
00:08:24,407 --> 00:08:26,741
Those are your things, Stan!
213
00:08:26,743 --> 00:08:29,010
I know just what you need, Dad.
214
00:08:29,012 --> 00:08:30,679
Greg, hop on the keys.
215
00:08:30,681 --> 00:08:32,146
??
216
00:08:32,148 --> 00:08:35,816
? It's a terrible day
here on Cherry Street ?
217
00:08:35,818 --> 00:08:39,020
? A very bad day for
new neighbors to greet ?
218
00:08:39,022 --> 00:08:42,157
? Please don't be mine ?
219
00:08:42,159 --> 00:08:43,958
? Say you're not mine ?
220
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:48,096
? I never want to have new neighbors,
especially you ?
221
00:08:48,098 --> 00:08:52,167
? I'd much rather live in a
neighborhood without you ?
222
00:08:52,169 --> 00:08:56,505
[TOGETHER] ? So let's wipe the
floor with this horrible day ?
223
00:08:56,507 --> 00:08:58,707
? And get these new neighbors ?
224
00:08:58,709 --> 00:09:00,975
? The [BLEEP] out our way ?
225
00:09:00,977 --> 00:09:03,044
? Please don't be mine ?
226
00:09:03,046 --> 00:09:05,246
? Say you're not mine! ?
227
00:09:05,248 --> 00:09:09,885
? Don't you be my neighbor! ?
228
00:09:10,987 --> 00:09:12,587
It's show time!
229
00:09:12,589 --> 00:09:14,389
Whoa, you're adding finger guns?
230
00:09:14,391 --> 00:09:17,058
[ALL MURMURING]
231
00:09:17,060 --> 00:09:18,527
Whoo! Blam-blam!
232
00:09:18,529 --> 00:09:21,129
Blam-blam-blam!
Blam-blam-blam-blam-blam!
233
00:09:21,131 --> 00:09:22,330
Blam! Blam-blam-blam!
234
00:09:22,332 --> 00:09:23,798
Guys, I need help!
235
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,534
? Blam, blam-blam!
I can't stop shooting! ?
236
00:09:25,536 --> 00:09:26,735
? Blam, blam-blam!
Whoa-oh, I'm greggie! ?
237
00:09:26,737 --> 00:09:28,036
? Blam, blam-blam! ?
238
00:09:29,272 --> 00:09:31,273
HAYLEY:
[HUSKILY] Headed somewhere, stud?
239
00:09:32,475 --> 00:09:34,409
Uh, Hayley.
240
00:09:34,411 --> 00:09:36,211
Um, I'm off to work, in fact.
241
00:09:36,213 --> 00:09:39,680
[BABY TALK] Ooh,
not with such a durdy car, you're not.
242
00:09:39,682 --> 00:09:41,550
What? I just had it washed.
243
00:09:41,552 --> 00:09:43,552
I saw the way you were
looking at me last night.
244
00:09:43,554 --> 00:09:47,956
Like I was a big,
juicy meatball you wanted to shred up!
245
00:09:47,958 --> 00:09:50,392
Shred up a meatball?
246
00:09:50,961 --> 00:09:52,493
[GURGLING]
247
00:09:52,495 --> 00:09:55,496
That water's gotta taste terrible.
248
00:09:55,498 --> 00:09:57,165
That can't taste good.
249
00:09:57,167 --> 00:09:58,567
What's she doing?
250
00:09:58,569 --> 00:10:01,169
[PANTING] Francine, help!
251
00:10:01,171 --> 00:10:02,371
It's my discman!
252
00:10:02,373 --> 00:10:04,172
I think there might be
something wrong with it!
253
00:10:04,174 --> 00:10:06,441
Can you have a listen?!
254
00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:11,646
Oooh! I love Gloria Estefan!
255
00:10:11,648 --> 00:10:15,850
? Feel the rhythm of the
music getting stronger... ?
256
00:10:15,852 --> 00:10:17,051
Whew!
257
00:10:17,053 --> 00:10:18,519
Please get off my car!
258
00:10:18,521 --> 00:10:19,788
I need to go to work!
259
00:10:19,790 --> 00:10:22,991
But I still have to
lick this baby dry...
260
00:10:22,993 --> 00:10:24,993
Ungh, ahhh, ungh!
261
00:10:24,995 --> 00:10:26,695
Okay, that's enough!
262
00:10:28,131 --> 00:10:31,399
- Yeah, use me like a sponge!
- JEFF: Hey!
263
00:10:31,401 --> 00:10:33,935
You tryin' to shred my meatball, pal?!
264
00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:36,571
I really don't know what that means.
265
00:10:37,474 --> 00:10:38,873
Jeff, don't shoot!
266
00:10:38,875 --> 00:10:40,642
[SCREAMING]
267
00:10:42,479 --> 00:10:44,345
Shoot him, Jake! He crazy!
268
00:10:44,347 --> 00:10:46,347
I'll kill you!
269
00:10:46,349 --> 00:10:47,548
Shoot him, shoot him, shoot him!
270
00:10:47,550 --> 00:10:49,284
[JEFF SCREAMING]
271
00:10:49,286 --> 00:10:51,886
["CONGA" PLAYS]
272
00:10:51,888 --> 00:10:53,455
[SCREAMING]
273
00:11:02,499 --> 00:11:03,832
What have I done?!
274
00:11:03,834 --> 00:11:06,301
You killed Jeff, that's what.
275
00:11:06,303 --> 00:11:08,903
[HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING]
276
00:11:08,905 --> 00:11:10,104
It's my dad!
277
00:11:10,106 --> 00:11:11,306
He works for the CIA.
278
00:11:11,308 --> 00:11:13,774
But don't worry, he never liked Jeff.
279
00:11:13,776 --> 00:11:15,110
He'll clean this mess up!
280
00:11:15,112 --> 00:11:16,311
Mmmwah!
281
00:11:16,313 --> 00:11:17,778
I'll always love you.
282
00:11:17,780 --> 00:11:20,248
Now gather your family,
get on that helicopter,
283
00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:21,983
and never look back!
284
00:11:24,655 --> 00:11:26,787
ROGER: Stan! Pick me up!
285
00:11:26,789 --> 00:11:28,723
You gonna loop around and scoop me?
286
00:11:28,725 --> 00:11:30,092
Do a loop and scoop?
287
00:11:32,796 --> 00:11:35,364
Shit. I don't think he's loopin'.
288
00:11:36,533 --> 00:11:38,066
Damn kids.
289
00:11:41,938 --> 00:11:47,008
Stan! The time to loop is nooooooow!
290
00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:49,410
??
291
00:11:49,412 --> 00:11:53,548
Amazing performances today by all.
292
00:11:53,550 --> 00:11:55,816
Especially you, babe.
293
00:11:55,818 --> 00:11:59,020
I really believed you when
you said Mr. S never liked me.
294
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:00,621
Hey, acting is believing.
295
00:12:00,623 --> 00:12:02,891
And believing the truth is easy!
296
00:12:02,893 --> 00:12:05,160
[LAUGHTER]
297
00:12:05,162 --> 00:12:07,496
Hey! Hey-hey-hey! Everybody hold up!
298
00:12:07,498 --> 00:12:08,830
Please tell me someone grabbed
299
00:12:08,832 --> 00:12:10,431
the neighbor's doormat for the book?
300
00:12:10,433 --> 00:12:11,966
That's your job, Steve.
301
00:12:11,968 --> 00:12:14,503
My job was doing burn
makeup on what's-his-name!
302
00:12:14,505 --> 00:12:15,904
I thought Klaus...
303
00:12:15,906 --> 00:12:17,105
Bro, c'mon, man.
304
00:12:17,107 --> 00:12:20,542
You know every time,
you secure the doormat.
305
00:12:22,645 --> 00:12:24,045
You rascal!
306
00:12:24,047 --> 00:12:25,313
What an actor!
307
00:12:25,315 --> 00:12:27,749
[LAUGHTER]
308
00:12:32,723 --> 00:12:34,989
Hey, where's the doormat?
309
00:12:34,991 --> 00:12:38,527
And I didn't wear underwear today,
just to punk that thing.
310
00:12:38,529 --> 00:12:40,529
Guess I'm the one who got punked.
311
00:12:40,531 --> 00:12:42,330
[DOOR CREAKS]
312
00:12:42,332 --> 00:12:44,265
The heck?
313
00:12:44,267 --> 00:12:45,466
Hello?
314
00:12:45,468 --> 00:12:46,835
Jessica?
315
00:12:47,871 --> 00:12:50,338
"Property of Al Tuttle.
316
00:12:50,340 --> 00:12:53,141
"Return to 1017 Cherry Street.
317
00:12:53,143 --> 00:12:54,943
And feel free to ride me!"
318
00:12:54,945 --> 00:12:56,545
Okay!
319
00:13:00,483 --> 00:13:01,950
This is so embarrassing.
320
00:13:01,952 --> 00:13:04,753
I better not run into
anyone I know up here.
321
00:13:05,688 --> 00:13:07,756
[LAUGHTER]
322
00:13:07,758 --> 00:13:09,824
- Francine?!
- Aaaaah!
323
00:13:09,826 --> 00:13:11,092
Mother, what brings you here?
324
00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:13,962
Oh, just returning Tuttle's pogo stick
325
00:13:13,964 --> 00:13:16,497
he left at our neighbor's house.
326
00:13:16,499 --> 00:13:18,499
Being a good neighbor.
327
00:13:18,501 --> 00:13:20,501
Whew, I thought you were onto us.
328
00:13:20,503 --> 00:13:22,303
I am onto you!
329
00:13:22,305 --> 00:13:24,906
What the hell are these old
neighbors' doormats
330
00:13:24,908 --> 00:13:26,241
doing in this book?!
331
00:13:26,243 --> 00:13:29,510
And why is our son holding
Jessica's doormat?!
332
00:13:29,512 --> 00:13:30,845
Oh, that's easy.
333
00:13:30,847 --> 00:13:32,781
Because we haven't put it
in our doormat book yet.
334
00:13:32,783 --> 00:13:34,383
What's a doormat book?!
335
00:13:34,385 --> 00:13:37,652
I-I have to be honest,
I don't know anything about any book.
336
00:13:37,654 --> 00:13:39,120
Who brought this here?
337
00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:41,990
Can someone besides this
moron answer my questions?
338
00:13:41,992 --> 00:13:44,125
We're the Cherry Street
Neighbor Haters Club!
339
00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:45,794
We chased 'em out of town, okay?
340
00:13:45,796 --> 00:13:46,995
[GASPS] Hayley!
341
00:13:46,997 --> 00:13:48,930
Your mother and I demand to know why!
342
00:13:48,932 --> 00:13:51,132
Stan, I know you're part of this.
343
00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:52,867
Francine, I can explain.
344
00:13:52,869 --> 00:13:55,736
It all started years ago
with the Schumacher family.
345
00:13:55,738 --> 00:13:57,205
You remember how terrible they were...
346
00:13:57,207 --> 00:13:58,807
Those people sucked so hard.
347
00:13:58,809 --> 00:14:00,475
And then there were the Tuckers.
348
00:14:00,477 --> 00:14:02,143
Ohhh! Suck suck suckers!
349
00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:03,344
The Klepners!
350
00:14:03,346 --> 00:14:05,146
- The Goldricks!
- The Memaris!
351
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:07,148
They were all perfectly good neighbors!
352
00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:09,084
Well, by then it was probably more about
353
00:14:09,086 --> 00:14:10,619
the fun we were having together...
354
00:14:10,621 --> 00:14:12,020
- "The fun"?!
- Aah!
355
00:14:12,022 --> 00:14:14,089
But the fun stops now.
356
00:14:14,091 --> 00:14:15,356
I promise.
357
00:14:15,358 --> 00:14:17,758
- Pff, I ain't promising shit.
- I mean it, Hayley.
358
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:19,961
This is the last family we chase out.
359
00:14:19,963 --> 00:14:22,831
And the first family you bring back!
360
00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:25,566
Get the damn neighbors back!
361
00:14:25,568 --> 00:14:31,640
??
362
00:14:31,642 --> 00:14:37,912
??
363
00:14:37,914 --> 00:14:40,849
Thanks for putting this
gals brunch together, Jess.
364
00:14:40,851 --> 00:14:43,452
It's so great having you back next door.
365
00:14:43,454 --> 00:14:44,986
Of course.
366
00:14:44,988 --> 00:14:48,323
Hayley, in this house,
it's no elbows on the table.
367
00:14:48,325 --> 00:14:50,191
Oh, sorry. Gosh.
368
00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:52,727
- She serious?
- It's basic manners, Hayley.
369
00:14:52,729 --> 00:14:55,063
I hope fresh-squeezed is okay?
370
00:14:55,065 --> 00:14:57,398
Mmm, with a little vodka?
371
00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:58,733
Yes, please.
372
00:14:58,735 --> 00:15:01,202
Sorry. We're a sober house.
373
00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:02,471
Oh!
374
00:15:02,473 --> 00:15:05,006
Now, that's awesome.
375
00:15:05,008 --> 00:15:07,776
Why, you should give it a try, Francine.
376
00:15:08,879 --> 00:15:11,012
Elbows off the table, Mom.
377
00:15:11,014 --> 00:15:13,348
Say, whatcha cookin', Jess?
378
00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:15,416
My famous scrambled eggs.
379
00:15:15,418 --> 00:15:16,885
They're perfectly fluffy.
380
00:15:16,887 --> 00:15:19,220
Ooh, I make 'em fluffy, too.
381
00:15:19,222 --> 00:15:20,555
The secret is...
382
00:15:20,557 --> 00:15:21,690
- Half 'n half.
- Water.
383
00:15:21,692 --> 00:15:22,891
Water?
384
00:15:22,893 --> 00:15:25,826
No, sorry, but it's half 'n half
385
00:15:25,828 --> 00:15:27,762
that makes a scrambled egg fluffier.
386
00:15:27,764 --> 00:15:30,098
No, it's not. It's just plain water.
387
00:15:31,168 --> 00:15:32,633
[DOOR BANGS]
388
00:15:32,635 --> 00:15:35,637
I want that bitch gone!
389
00:15:38,541 --> 00:15:39,608
[DOOR BANGS]
390
00:15:39,610 --> 00:15:41,876
I want that bitch gone!
391
00:15:41,878 --> 00:15:44,145
Okay, that's seven door kicks, Francine.
392
00:15:44,147 --> 00:15:46,081
You're ruining our door and our game!
393
00:15:46,083 --> 00:15:48,817
When I'm pissed off, I kick doors!
394
00:15:48,819 --> 00:15:50,885
That's the woman you married, baby!
395
00:15:50,887 --> 00:15:53,154
And those neighbors need to go!
396
00:15:53,156 --> 00:15:55,156
But you just had us get them back.
397
00:15:55,158 --> 00:15:57,025
That was before I knew Jessica was
398
00:15:57,027 --> 00:16:00,161
a weirdo, water-in-her-eggs, sober nerd.
399
00:16:00,163 --> 00:16:02,096
Ah, she doesn't drink.
400
00:16:02,098 --> 00:16:03,765
She does not drink!
401
00:16:03,767 --> 00:16:05,766
I screwed up, okay?
402
00:16:05,768 --> 00:16:06,968
But now I get it.
403
00:16:06,970 --> 00:16:08,970
And I've been sober all morning!
404
00:16:08,972 --> 00:16:10,972
Whose fault is that, Francine?
405
00:16:10,974 --> 00:16:12,173
The neighbors!
406
00:16:12,175 --> 00:16:13,842
That's whose fault it is!
407
00:16:13,844 --> 00:16:15,977
Hey, she is starting to get it!
408
00:16:15,979 --> 00:16:17,646
Cheers to that!
409
00:16:17,648 --> 00:16:20,849
[CHEERING]
410
00:16:20,851 --> 00:16:22,583
Cheers to that!
411
00:16:22,585 --> 00:16:24,853
[HALFHEARTED CHEERING]
412
00:16:24,855 --> 00:16:27,022
And cheers to that.
413
00:16:28,058 --> 00:16:31,259
You may need to get some help, Mrs. S.
414
00:16:31,261 --> 00:16:34,795
Help getting that family out of here!
415
00:16:34,797 --> 00:16:36,465
[CHEERING]
416
00:16:36,467 --> 00:16:40,001
[BEEPING]
417
00:16:40,003 --> 00:16:42,403
That satellite is my
ticket back to earth.
418
00:16:42,405 --> 00:16:45,206
Just gotta grab a solar
panel and steer it home...
419
00:16:45,208 --> 00:16:46,341
[BANG]
420
00:16:46,343 --> 00:16:48,609
Wheeeee!
421
00:16:48,611 --> 00:16:51,946
??
422
00:16:51,948 --> 00:16:53,482
How come we can't think of anything?
423
00:16:53,484 --> 00:16:55,950
We've never had trouble
getting neighbors out before.
424
00:16:55,952 --> 00:16:57,285
Let's face it, guys.
425
00:16:57,287 --> 00:16:59,420
We've got schemer's block.
426
00:16:59,422 --> 00:17:00,956
I know what we need!
427
00:17:01,758 --> 00:17:04,092
- It's cocaine.
- Yeah, definitely cocaine.
428
00:17:04,094 --> 00:17:05,827
Cocaine!
429
00:17:05,829 --> 00:17:07,762
[TEETH CHATTERING]
430
00:17:07,764 --> 00:17:09,830
I say we get rockets and
a buttload of duct tape
431
00:17:09,832 --> 00:17:11,566
and blast the neighbor's
house off our street!
432
00:17:11,568 --> 00:17:13,234
- Love that!
- Oh-ho, that's good!
433
00:17:13,236 --> 00:17:14,769
Steve, tell me you got that down!
434
00:17:14,771 --> 00:17:16,371
I'm having trouble keeping up, Dad.
435
00:17:16,373 --> 00:17:18,707
A-Are you sure I shouldn't
have just a little taste?
436
00:17:18,709 --> 00:17:20,375
Just give him a gummer, Stan.
437
00:17:20,377 --> 00:17:21,642
You crazy?!
438
00:17:21,644 --> 00:17:23,311
Kid's got huge gums,
there won't be enough for us!
439
00:17:23,313 --> 00:17:25,646
What if I wear the neighbor's
house like a big hat
440
00:17:25,648 --> 00:17:27,782
with all the family stuffed inside
441
00:17:27,784 --> 00:17:30,519
and just walk
'em out of our neighborhood for good?
442
00:17:30,521 --> 00:17:32,987
Yessss, Tuttle, yesss!
443
00:17:32,989 --> 00:17:34,189
These ideas are fire!
444
00:17:34,191 --> 00:17:35,990
Steve,
are you getting down all the fire?
445
00:17:35,992 --> 00:17:37,726
I'm doing my best!
446
00:17:37,728 --> 00:17:39,127
Now snap a pic... God!
447
00:17:39,129 --> 00:17:41,329
The camera on this phone
is so [BLEEP] good!
448
00:17:41,331 --> 00:17:43,464
I can see, like, chalk particles!
449
00:17:43,466 --> 00:17:45,333
Hurry, Stan! We need to print that pic
450
00:17:45,335 --> 00:17:47,936
and execute the plan now,
while our highs are peaking.
451
00:17:47,938 --> 00:17:49,270
Oh! Jessica has a printer.
452
00:17:49,272 --> 00:17:51,206
And I'm still connected to her Wi-Fi!
453
00:17:51,208 --> 00:17:52,673
Bam! Just texted you the plans.
454
00:17:52,675 --> 00:17:55,343
When we get over there,
Francine will find the printer
455
00:17:55,345 --> 00:17:57,345
on the sly and print one for everyone.
456
00:17:57,347 --> 00:17:59,480
We can all sign one,
and I'll get it framed!
457
00:17:59,482 --> 00:18:01,082
Oh, I love the frame shop.
458
00:18:01,084 --> 00:18:02,417
People love me at the frame shop.
459
00:18:02,419 --> 00:18:03,552
What am I doing with my life?
460
00:18:03,554 --> 00:18:05,220
I should work at the frame shop!
461
00:18:05,222 --> 00:18:06,487
[FINGERS DRUMMING]
462
00:18:06,489 --> 00:18:08,156
Okay, okay! He's got the job!
463
00:18:08,158 --> 00:18:10,024
[CHEERING]
464
00:18:10,026 --> 00:18:12,294
I gotta get a picture.
465
00:18:13,696 --> 00:18:15,630
- [BEEP]
- [GASPS] Oh, no!
466
00:18:15,632 --> 00:18:18,499
I just sent our plans to
the neighbor's printer!
467
00:18:18,501 --> 00:18:20,635
Back to Cherry Streeeeet!
468
00:18:21,704 --> 00:18:23,638
With this piece of satellite,
469
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:27,442
I'll be able to steer any
passing meteor down to earth.
470
00:18:27,444 --> 00:18:29,644
Now to wait for a meteor...
471
00:18:29,646 --> 00:18:30,912
Hmm, let's see...
472
00:18:30,914 --> 00:18:34,249
Maybe some attention-grabbin'
ass wagglin'.
473
00:18:34,251 --> 00:18:36,117
[WHOOSHING]
474
00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:38,119
Wow, these meteors are thirs...
475
00:18:38,121 --> 00:18:41,189
- [BANG]
- ...teeeeeee!
476
00:18:41,191 --> 00:18:43,792
HUELL HOWSER: So,
you're the one responsible
477
00:18:43,794 --> 00:18:45,860
for baking all these pies.
478
00:18:45,862 --> 00:18:49,063
No, these are rotisserie chickens.
479
00:18:49,065 --> 00:18:51,800
Wooooowww! That's amazing!
480
00:18:51,802 --> 00:18:53,668
Even the boysenberry?!
481
00:18:53,670 --> 00:18:56,204
- That's a cash register.
- Wooooow!
482
00:18:56,206 --> 00:18:59,207
- [WHIRRING]
- Is somebody printing something?
483
00:18:59,209 --> 00:19:00,609
- [DOOR BANGS]
- Where's your printer?!
484
00:19:00,611 --> 00:19:02,143
Where's your printer,
where's your printer?!
485
00:19:02,145 --> 00:19:04,545
Ahhhhhhh!
486
00:19:04,547 --> 00:19:07,015
Everyone! Get ready to execute!
487
00:19:07,017 --> 00:19:08,216
- Aah!
- [GLASS SHATTERS]
488
00:19:08,218 --> 00:19:10,419
We need to get out of here, now!
489
00:19:11,955 --> 00:19:14,222
A little more west, aaand...
490
00:19:14,224 --> 00:19:16,224
that should put me down in our pool.
491
00:19:16,226 --> 00:19:17,892
TUTTLE: Found the printer!
492
00:19:17,894 --> 00:19:19,093
[GLASS SHATTERS]
493
00:19:19,095 --> 00:19:20,561
Are they gonna hurt us, Mom?
494
00:19:20,563 --> 00:19:23,298
No, Donald. They must be on drugs.
495
00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:25,166
They need our help.
496
00:19:25,168 --> 00:19:27,436
- [THUMPING]
- FRANCINE: Jess-i-caaa!
497
00:19:27,438 --> 00:19:32,240
Half 'n half makes fluffier
scrambled e-ee-eggs!
498
00:19:32,242 --> 00:19:33,842
Francine, please!
499
00:19:33,844 --> 00:19:35,243
This isn't the real you!
500
00:19:35,245 --> 00:19:38,313
You've had too much caffeine!
Or sugar, maybe!
501
00:19:38,315 --> 00:19:40,315
Oh, God, I hope it's not both!
502
00:19:40,317 --> 00:19:43,384
But we're not gonna abandon
you in your time of need!
503
00:19:43,386 --> 00:19:45,586
As long as our house is next to yours,
504
00:19:45,588 --> 00:19:48,990
we're gonna be with you
every step of the way!
505
00:19:48,992 --> 00:19:50,191
ROGER: Missed the pool.
506
00:19:50,193 --> 00:19:52,427
[EXPLOSION]
507
00:19:56,333 --> 00:19:58,467
I did the math!
508
00:19:59,559 --> 00:20:00,601
Howdy, neighbors!
509
00:20:01,086 --> 00:20:02,871
- [SCREAMING]
- We're not your neighbors anymore!
510
00:20:02,873 --> 00:20:04,206
JAKE: What she said!
511
00:20:05,608 --> 00:20:09,010
Aw, please tell me
you saved me a gummer.
512
00:20:09,012 --> 00:20:12,413
??
513
00:20:12,415 --> 00:20:15,484
I'd just like to thank
you all for letting me
514
00:20:15,486 --> 00:20:18,019
in your little neighbor-hating club.
515
00:20:18,021 --> 00:20:19,620
Did we have that vote yet?
516
00:20:20,557 --> 00:20:23,224
And even though you've
been hiding this club
517
00:20:23,226 --> 00:20:24,826
from me for years,
518
00:20:24,828 --> 00:20:28,697
I'm willing to forgive you
all because being in this club
519
00:20:28,699 --> 00:20:31,900
is exactly the sense of community
520
00:20:31,902 --> 00:20:34,169
that I've been longing for!
521
00:20:34,171 --> 00:20:36,171
So, like, do we meet every night?
522
00:20:36,173 --> 00:20:37,638
'Cause I'm available.
523
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:39,307
And like, what should I wear?
524
00:20:39,309 --> 00:20:41,109
Whoa, eager beaver alert!
525
00:20:41,111 --> 00:20:43,111
Pump the brakes, Mrs. S.
526
00:20:43,113 --> 00:20:45,047
Yeah, pump the beaver, Mom.
527
00:20:45,048 --> 00:20:47,119
_
528
00:20:48,118 --> 00:20:49,984
LITTLE BOY: I'll be right there, Mom!
529
00:20:49,986 --> 00:20:51,586
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
530
00:20:51,588 --> 00:20:54,856
Whoa! Awesome new space kite!
531
00:20:54,858 --> 00:20:56,324
Happy birthday, kiddo.
532
00:20:56,326 --> 00:20:58,860
[SCREAMS]
533
00:20:58,862 --> 00:21:00,762
Bye! Have a great time!
534
00:21:02,766 --> 00:21:04,633
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
535
00:21:04,683 --> 00:21:09,233
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