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1
00:00:06,048 --> 00:00:09,885
[Freeman] Captain's log, sfardaz'e 58705.7.
2
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:13,347
The pak/eo's continue their unprovoked
attacks on federation trade routes.
3
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:14,723
Seeking a cease-fire,
4
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:17,768
the cerritos is on a o'io/omatio mission
to the pak/eo' home wor/o',
5
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:20,020
which they call pak/ed planet
6
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:22,981
starfleet command entrusted me
with this mission
7
00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:26,276
because of our experience
with the pakleds last year.
8
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,947
Negotiating a cease-fire
would be a huge achievement.
9
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,950
If you keep doing
picard-level peace brokering like this,
10
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,701
they might give you an enterprise.
11
00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:36,662
[Chuckles] Well, I don't know about that.
12
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:38,539
Remember, it's just the pakleds.
13
00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,457
This shouldn't be too complicated.
14
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:45,879
Ambassador grubdin.
15
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:48,298
Welcome, captain janeway.
16
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:51,176
Pakled planet is big and strong.
17
00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:54,846
Right, well, I'm actually
captain Freeman of the cerritos.
18
00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:56,723
I'm here to discuss a cease-fire.
19
00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:58,600
Oh, I was misinformed.
20
00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:02,187
I do not have a big enough helmet
to make cease-fires.
21
00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:05,774
Okay, well, then I need to talk to
someone with a bigger helmet.
22
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:07,276
[Pakled shouting]
23
00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:08,359
Stay back!
24
00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:11,196
[Shouting continues]
25
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:16,243
[Sighs] Guys! The prisoner, rumdar, he ran
away from pakled planet to her ship!
26
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:19,580
You! Why did you steal rumdar?
27
00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:22,124
[Chuckles] I can assure you,
we did no such thing.
28
00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:25,752
- Ransom, is there a pakled on my ship?
- That's an affirmative, captain.
29
00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:28,589
This ship is strong. I can live here now.
30
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We think he's requesting asylum.
31
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:35,637
No! Until she gives rumdar back,
janeway stays here!
32
00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:38,265
[Pakleds clamoring]
33
00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:54,424
Guys, it's pretty cool that the captain
gets to negotiate peace, right?
34
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,468
Uh, yeah, I'm sure she's
thinking the same thing.
35
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:57,928
- [Padds beep]
- [Sighs]
36
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,097
Nothing ruins breakfast
like a work assignment.
37
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:03,809
- Oh, no! Anomaly consolidation duty!
- Oh, yes!
38
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:06,353
- Ugh. I got it too.
- So did I.
39
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,105
What's "anomaly consolidation"?
40
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,248
You get to go around the ship
41
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:11,834
and collect the bridge crew's
research materials from their missions.
42
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:12,859
It's trash day.
43
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:15,529
It's our bosses, who've accumulated
all sorts of stuff, saying,
44
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:17,656
"hey, peons, come pick up our trash."
45
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:21,535
Dangerous science trash that can't just
get recycled in a matter recombinator.
46
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,620
We have to pack it up
and send it to a facility.
47
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,580
Could be a nice break
from our usual duties.
48
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:26,665
Maybe it'll be fun!
49
00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:28,625
Oh, sweet, sweet tendi, no.
50
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,211
Acd is the most degrading day of the year.
51
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:33,422
Don't listen to her.
This is gonna be great.
52
00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:34,881
Ugh. [Screams, grunts]
53
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:36,425
[Tendi laughing]
54
00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:40,137
Sorry!
55
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,848
I-It's just the face that you made.
I couldn't help it!
56
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:44,182
Okay, all right.
57
00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:45,642
We're all having so much fun
58
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,310
- at my expense.
- [Mariner chuckles]
59
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:49,813
Hey, boimler, right?
60
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,940
Heard a lot of buzz about
your time on the titan.
61
00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:53,900
Oh, uh, ensign Casey, hi.
62
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:55,902
- You guys heard about that?
- You're a legend!
63
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:58,989
Listen, we've got this little club
where we help each other rank up.
64
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,472
And right now, we're down a member.
65
00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:02,784
P'jok got promoted to the I/entura.
66
00:04:02,868 --> 00:04:04,077
What? No way!
67
00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:07,539
That's what the redshirts do.
We help each other land promotions.
68
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:09,791
One day, we'll all be captains.
69
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,752
You call yourselves "redshirts"?
70
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,795
Cool name, right?
Makes us sound invincible.
71
00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:15,464
But why would you want me to be one?
72
00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:18,147
I got the red shirt but is there,
like, a form I need to fill out?
73
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,509
You served with riker!
74
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,636
That kind of experience is super valuable.
75
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:25,140
Listen. There's gonna be an acting
captain's duty up for grabs later today.
76
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,558
Only us redshirts know about it.
77
00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:28,769
[Gasps] Acting captain?
Like, on the bridge?
78
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,479
You tell us riker stuff today,
79
00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:32,206
I'll get you in the running
for the big chair.
80
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:35,692
- But... [sighs] ...I have acd.
- Anomaly duty? [Chuckles] No sweat.
81
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,527
We'll pull some strings,
get you out of it.
82
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,654
Uh, I don't know.
83
00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:41,418
It's awesome that you served on the titan,
84
00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:44,159
but there has to be a reason
you're back on the cerritos.
85
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:47,245
You don't carry yourself like a leader.
We could help you with that.
86
00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:48,914
But if you're not interested...
87
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:50,791
Uh... uh... wait!
88
00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,460
I'm in. Let's do this.
89
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:56,004
[Laughs] Excelsior.
90
00:04:58,173 --> 00:04:59,341
Unbelievable.
91
00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:02,844
Boimler's cozying up with
those brownnosers to get out of trash day?
92
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:03,970
Such a great call!
93
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,639
More trash for the rest of us!
94
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,350
- I smell adventure!
- [Mariner sighs]
95
00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:10,435
So, what has you seeking asylum?
96
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,729
Religious persecution?
Leading a rebellion?
97
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,189
Some sort of sex stuff?
98
00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:16,274
I want to see how the shields work.
99
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:20,320
You wanna see
our top-secret defensive schematics?
100
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:23,156
Yeah, and your crimson force field too.
101
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,784
Uh, I will see if it's operational.
102
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:28,745
You getting "bazminti when he
pulled back the veil" vibes from this guy?
103
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:29,830
Oh, yeah.
104
00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:33,750
Captain Freeman? Our pakled refugee
appears to be more of a pakled spy.
105
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,770
[Freeman] What?
He hasn't gotten anything, has he?
106
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:37,879
- No, I think we'll be okay.
- [Chuckles]
107
00:05:37,963 --> 00:05:40,215
He just took a photo of his own foot.
108
00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:42,259
- Hmm. This could work to our advantage.
- Oh. Ah!
109
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:45,470
Maybe he'll re veal something
about the attacks. Keep him talking.
110
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,180
- On it.
- [Rumdar] Oh!
111
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,852
Ransom's always going on
fun away missions.
112
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:54,521
You just know he'll have
crazy anomalies we can check out.
113
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:58,275
Oh, great! A pile of unlabeled crystals.
114
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,278
You're supposed to
keep stuff like this in a lab.
115
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,655
[Sighs] Ignoring protocol. Yeah,
one of the perks of being a commander.
116
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:06,074
[Groans, screams]
117
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:07,242
Oh, man!
118
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,244
Ooh, this is neat!
119
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:12,622
You can tell from the occipital bone
that this was one big froggy!
120
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:13,707
Tendi! Whoa! Easy.
121
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,018
I think that's from the planet
where everything evolved all weird.
122
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,961
- [Squeals]
- [Screams] Uh...
123
00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:20,398
- [Mariner gasps]
- [Tendi screams]
124
00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:21,256
[Groans]
125
00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:22,984
Whoa! Whoa, rutherford. You're blowin' up!
126
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,944
- It's altering his biomatrix!
- [Distorted] Whoa, whoa!
127
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:28,013
- I got a big, old body!
- [Grunts] Stop moving around!
128
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,557
I can't stop! I'm big beyond belief!
129
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,143
- Oh, no!
- Tendi! Grab the red vial! [Grunts]
130
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:36,271
- Got it!
- Smear that crap on his nose!
131
00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:38,023
[Grunting]
132
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,027
[Sighs] Ugh.
133
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:45,322
You've just experienced full molecular
engorgement in a matter of seconds!
134
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,781
- Did it feel amazing?
- [Groans]
135
00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:49,367
Hey, boimler.
How often did riker clean his trombone?
136
00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:50,452
-[Gasps} -Oh!
137
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:53,079
Oh, constantly.
It was actually kind of disruptive.
138
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,290
[Sighs] I need to learn
to blow something brass.
139
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:56,291
[Shutter clicks]
140
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:59,753
Okay, so that was
our top-secret starfleet gift shop.
141
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:03,548
Next, how about we show you
the, uh, high-securityjuice bar?
142
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:06,343
No! Now I want to see the warp core!
143
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,637
Sure, sure! We'll get you there, big guy.
144
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,972
We're not exactly dealing
with the ta! Shiar here.
145
00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:14,309
Let's see if we can get him to tell us
about their systems.
146
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:15,435
[Both laugh]
147
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:17,979
Wait. Where did he go?
148
00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:21,274
- Computer, locate pakled refugee.
- [Computer] No pakled detected.
149
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:23,944
What? Did he leave the ship?
Did he somehow cloak himself?
150
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:25,028
Unknown.
151
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,238
Zinda, his eyes red!
I'll check engineering!
152
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:35,330
Okay, let's see
what the next awesome anomalies are.
153
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:38,959
[Sniffs]
154
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,086
- [Sniffs]
- [Gasps}
155
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:46,925
[grunting]
156
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:51,846
[Tendi chuckles]
157
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:00,981
[Mariner groaning]
158
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,653
You want a rotten mushfroot?
159
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,363
Uh, no, thank you.
160
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:11,032
I just wanna talk cease-fire
with whomever's in charge.
161
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:14,369
Oh! Janeway turned down mushfroot!
162
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:16,204
[Fanfare playing]
163
00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:20,208
Her majesty the queen!
164
00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:23,795
- [Sighs] Your highness, allow me to...
- You can't kill rumdar!
165
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:26,589
Rumdar is our prisoner.
We will kill rumdar!
166
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:29,092
I can assure you, rumdar's in good hands.
167
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,011
Nobody is killing rumdar.
168
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:33,847
Prove it. I want to talk to rumdar.
169
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:37,267
Ransom,
put the pakled refugee on the line.
170
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,853
[Ransom] Uh, actually, we '|/e temporarily
lost track of him.
171
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:40,936
What?
172
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:44,065
[Chuckles] Rumdar is, uh, in the bathroom!
173
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:47,444
But he said that you should
negotiate a cease-fire.
174
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,488
Oh. I don't have
a big enough helmet to do that.
175
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,240
Are you [bleep] me?
176
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:58,496
Boimler, you need to look like a leader
if you want people to treat you like one.
177
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:00,665
First, you've gotta fix this posture.
178
00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:04,961
You're like this,
when you need to be like this. [Purrs]
179
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,047
- [Groans] Oh, wow!
- [Back cracks]
180
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,174
I didn't realize my spine went that far.
181
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:10,258
That's new.
182
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:12,969
Now, this outfit? Oof.
This is not a good look.
183
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:15,472
We all wear this. It's a uniform.
184
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,640
The captain literally wears
the same thing, and...
185
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:21,311
Right now, this uniform is wearing you.
Easy to fix with a few modifications.
186
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:24,355
- Ooh, did riker modify his uniform?
- What? No.
187
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:26,691
I guess they had to put
a lot of extra room in his pants.
188
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:28,568
For his legs, I mean, 'cause he's tall.
189
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,296
You know what they say.
"Tall guy, big legs."
190
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,739
Oh, my god, your hair.
I didn't even take in the hair.
191
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,991
I like my hair! I'm a cutie!
This is good hair!
192
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:37,118
But would you follow it into battle?
193
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:40,497
[Sighs] Maybe just a trim?
194
00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:45,168
Introducing the new and improved
bradward boimler.
195
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,839
Oh, I feel amazing!
196
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,841
Mmm. Look at these shoulders! Damn!
197
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,177
Starfleet royalty.
198
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,428
[Mariner groans]
199
00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:56,846
- [Gasps, groans]
- [Screams]
200
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,724
- Boimler? [Gasps] You look amazing!
- Thank you.
201
00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:02,769
The redshirts gave me a makeover.
I-I might have a shot at acting captain!
202
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:06,397
- [Gasps] Whoa, is that a retroovian flask?
- Uh, you know it!
203
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:09,234
Careful, those can release
a gelatinous spray that traps you...
204
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:10,485
Yeah, we know.
205
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:11,611
[Casey clears throat]
206
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:15,925
Oh, uh, gotta go.
But I wanna hear everything later!
207
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,951
Watch out for that spray.
It'll mess you up!
208
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,035
Damn it, the nanobots!
209
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,870
Billups can calculate warp variance,
210
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,956
but he can't remember to
tighten a lid on a jar.
211
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,165
Aw, but come on,
212
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:27,627
how often do we get to be face-to-face
with these tiny terrors?
213
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:30,338
Bright side, they're not full-size robots,
right? Right?
214
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:32,882
[Groans] Tendi!
This stuff is eating my fingerprints.
215
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:35,885
There's no bright side!
Stop trying to make this fun.
216
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,512
- But...
- What is your deal, okay?
217
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:41,182
Every day isn't gonna be
some pristine, exploratory adventure.
218
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:44,144
Sometimes it's work. And it sucks.
Get used to it!
219
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:45,895
Okay. Sorry.
220
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,482
Where could he be? He's giant and brown.
221
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:53,862
Being captain is the role of a lifetime.
222
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:57,157
Leader! Fighter! Lover.
223
00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:01,202
The captain needs to always be prepared
to give a rousing speech.
224
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,371
So go ahead. Rouse them!
225
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:05,832
Uh... what am I supposed to speech about?
226
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,542
- Ooh! A temporal rift!
- Oh! Oh!
227
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,794
- With a plasma grid!
- And the replicators are broken!
228
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:13,173
Sounds like a crew
that could use some inspiration.
229
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,341
Right now?
230
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:16,505
Okay. Uh... [clears throat]
231
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:21,347
Um, attention, crew.
Um, I'm your captain. I'm captain boimler.
232
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:24,475
Uh, we've got a plasma grid
and a temporal rift.
233
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,311
Sorry. You said temporal rift, right?
234
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,355
Yeah. Yeah, and, uh, lots of danger.
235
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:33,359
But as sure as, uh,
this is my captain's chair,
236
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:38,573
um, you can count on me,
'cause I'm your captain.
237
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:39,866
Yes, sirree.
238
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,041
- We should mutiny.
- Sorry! Sorry! No, no, no!
239
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,787
I know that wasn't good. It's just...
240
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:47,415
This isn't the same
as actually being on the bridge.
241
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:49,959
The bridge is wherever you are.
242
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:53,963
Close your eyes, think about riker
and say what he would say.
243
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,798
From the heart. His heart.
244
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,550
[Sighs]
245
00:11:57,634 --> 00:12:00,220
Look, I may not know exactly
what we're up against.
246
00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:03,723
But I do know that in this,
our darkest hour, I'm grateful.
247
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:08,061
Grateful to have a ship and a crew
I trust with my life.
248
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:11,189
Now, I'll be honest, there's no guarantee
we're gonna get out of this.
249
00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:15,068
But if we do, it'll be because of
your combined talent and dedication.
250
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:18,321
It's been the honor of my life
to serve as your captain.
251
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:22,033
But we're not dead yet.
So how about we go in and kick some ass.
252
00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:24,285
Red alert! Take us in.
253
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,121
[Applause]
254
00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:28,706
Now that sounds like a captain.
255
00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:35,797
Wow, even Dr. Migleemo has stuff?
I didn't know he even went on missions.
256
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,520
That's a pile of random junk!
Come on. Even you have to admit that.
257
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:41,469
No! And, honestly, I'm getting tired
of you guys whining all day.
258
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:45,139
If you're so over anomaly collection,
then I'll just do it myself.
259
00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:46,599
- Okay! Works for me.
- Great idea!
260
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:47,600
[Both sigh]
261
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:48,977
[Groans]
262
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:52,021
Okay, let's see.
There's this dusty goggles thing.
263
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,856
Ooh, half of some sort of sword.
264
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:56,234
- You guys are really missing out!
- [Mariner] Mm-hmm.
265
00:12:56,317 --> 00:13:00,154
[Sighs] Look, he's throwing out
a perfectly good storybook.
266
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:04,492
- [Squealing]
- [Whimpers]
267
00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:09,515
Oh, it's one of those energy field books
that makes stories come to life!
268
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,082
[Grunts] Come here!
269
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,418
Get back in this book! [Grunting]
270
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,461
- Oh! [Screams]
- [Both gasp]
271
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,547
[Sighs] Huh?
272
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,008
- Oh, no!
- [Shrieks]
273
00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:21,467
- Oh, crap, crap, crap!
- Slug!
274
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:22,551
[Shrieks]
275
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:24,804
- No!
- Tendi!
276
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:26,532
Okay, we just got to find
the right hypospray.
277
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:28,158
- [Muffled screaming]
- Uh, hang tight, tendi!
278
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:29,809
Don't get digested.
279
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:31,894
- Uh, uh...
- [Shrieking]
280
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:37,025
[Muffled grunting]
281
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:39,026
[Panting]
282
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,987
- Ugh. [Grunts]
- [Squeals]
283
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,867
- Oh, my gosh! Are you okay?
- D'vana?
284
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:48,578
[Whimpers, coughs]
285
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:52,623
You were right.
Anomaly consolidation day is the worst!
286
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:53,833
Hey, we've all...
287
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:57,420
I mean, who among us hasn't been pooped
out by an alien creature? It is not a...
288
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:58,671
Don't touch me!
289
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:05,136
Captain, this is going sideways.
I recommend we beam out now.
290
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:06,763
No! We have to make this work,
291
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:10,058
or it'll turn into a big,
brown pakled smear on my record.
292
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,060
[Fanfare playing]
293
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:14,020
I am king pakled.
294
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:17,065
- Finally. It is an honor to meet you, sir.
- [Door opens]
295
00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:21,694
I am emperor of the pakleds!
296
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:25,156
- Okay. Well, then it's an honor to m...
- [Pakleds shouting]
297
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:30,203
- Revolution!
- [Gasps}
298
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,496
- yeah! Yeah!
- Come on!
299
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:35,792
[Pakled laughs]
300
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:36,876
Die!
301
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,795
[Screams]
302
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:43,633
The big-helmeted pakleds
will no longer control us!
303
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,218
Oh!
304
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:49,013
I am now pakled leader.
305
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:51,849
Behold my giant helmet!
306
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:54,185
- He is strong.
- [Freeman groans]
307
00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:02,753
You know,
I was a little skeptical at first,
308
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:05,446
but I really am feeling
way more captain-y than usual.
309
00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:07,448
Now you have to start living like one too.
310
00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:09,843
Oh, you mean like sitting
in a centered chair all day, or...
311
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:11,244
Nothing tells you about a captain
312
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,555
more than the officers
they've chosen to have at their side.
313
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:16,582
That's true in your social life
as much as it is on the bridge.
314
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:19,335
Oh. [Scoffs] I've got that covered.
My friends are awesome.
315
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,003
Look, that's them right there.
316
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,564
- [Rutherford grunts]
- [Tendi coughs]
317
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,882
They've been consolidating
anomalies all day.
318
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:26,342
It's pretty cool, right?
319
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,510
No, not cool.
320
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,471
Those three are always elbow-deep
in some kind of slime.
321
00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:32,807
Yeah, we work in starfleet.
I mean, slime's a given.
322
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:37,353
No, we work in starfleet.
They work for starfleet.
323
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,897
Okay, hold on.
They're the same rank as you or me.
324
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:41,821
And while we've been "playing captain"
all day,
325
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,544
they've been doing real work
to help the ship.
326
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:46,195
This isn't a friend-ship. It's a starship.
327
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,197
Are you a star or not?
328
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,282
What?
329
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:51,909
The bridge crew brought in this crap,
they should clean it up.
330
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:55,037
- I'm not their mom!
- Uh, I don't know. It's not that bad.
331
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,582
It was the worst! I hate this stupid ship.
332
00:15:57,665 --> 00:16:00,084
Whoa. Slow to impulse.
You love the cerritos.
333
00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:02,420
Ugh. I must have sounded so stupid.
334
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:04,898
I thought we were gonna have
so much fun picking up the trash.
335
00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:07,341
Ha! I even volunteered us for it!
336
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:08,968
- Wait, you did?
- Why?
337
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:11,512
You guys were always sad
that we don't go on cool missions,
338
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:15,349
so ensign genius over here figured it
would be fun to get closer to the action.
339
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:18,978
But you guys were right.
It sucked, and being lower decks sucks.
340
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:20,855
I wish I was still on Orion!
341
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,857
Uh, tendi, that cube's kinda...
342
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:25,026
Today has been totally degrading!
343
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:27,236
Uh, maybe...
Maybe put down the cube before...
344
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,739
[Tendi grunting]
345
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:30,823
[Roars]
346
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:31,908
[Both scream]
347
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,284
[Tendi grunts]
348
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:34,887
- [Tendi roars]
- We got a scorpion here!
349
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:37,455
What was that cube?
There has to be a way to reverse it.
350
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:38,539
[Both scream]
351
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:41,918
I'm getting tired
of you guys whining all day.
352
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,889
- [Ransom screams, grunts]
- [Kayshon gasps]
353
00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:46,130
[Tendi roars]
354
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,549
[Roaring]
355
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,093
- [Roaring continues]
- [Screaming]
356
00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:58,226
[Yells] Is that tendi?
357
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:02,438
- We gotta do something!
- You're right! The crew depends on us!
358
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:06,234
The starfleet manual defines "danger"
as "a force"...
359
00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:08,986
It is in times of doubt and uncertainty
that the depths...
360
00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:13,032
A ship that encounters no rough wind
is a ship that's never sailed at all.
361
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:14,992
Are any of you
actually going to do something?
362
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:16,869
We're doing it. We're inspiring the crew.
363
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:18,871
We are the crew!
364
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:19,956
[Panting]
365
00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:23,292
Tendi? I know you're in there.
You're gonna be okay.
366
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:26,170
- [Roaring]
- [Boimler grunts]
367
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:29,090
[Panting] What happened?
Did she touch a mysterious orb?
368
00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,466
What? No! It was a cube.
369
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,135
Oh! Uh, I bet it was
an ataxian mood-shifter. I've got this!
370
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:36,222
[Panting] Computer,
big bowl of beans, hot.
371
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,685
Hey, tendi! Whoa!
372
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:43,145
I sure hope
I don't spill these beans on my...
373
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:45,773
[Screams] Ah! Ah.
374
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:47,650
- [Tendi roaring]
- [Boimler panting]
375
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:50,570
Computer, birthday cake, lit candles,
various temperatures.
376
00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:52,363
- Whoa!
- [Computer beeps]
377
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:55,241
Wow, it sure is hard
carrying this birthday cake
378
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:57,827
with all this been slime on my...
[Screams, grunts]
379
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,413
- [Laughing]
- What the hell is he doing?
380
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:01,640
- [Boimler groans]
- Shut up. Look.
381
00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:04,500
Oh, no. And now the candles
have lit my uniform on fire!
382
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,960
What a predicament!
383
00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:07,545
[Screams, grunts]
384
00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:08,963
[Laughing continues]
385
00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:11,841
[Gasps] It's working.
Her emotional armor is weakening!
386
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,551
[Boimler grunts]
387
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,761
[Panting]
388
00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:18,306
Computer! Taffy-honey-shrimp-soda-
corn-steak-chicken-nugget-
389
00:18:18,389 --> 00:18:21,684
crispy-lemon-rock-candy-
chili-gravy-chocolate sundae! Hot!
390
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,436
[Screaming]
391
00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:26,063
- [Tendi laughing]
- [Boimler groans]
392
00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:31,902
That was such a waste
of reassembled proteins.
393
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:34,447
[Sighs] It really was.
[Chuckles] You okay?
394
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:35,531
Yeah.
395
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,492
Geez, I was really out of control.
Thanks for saving me.
396
00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:40,620
Oh, of course. That's what we do.
397
00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:45,708
[Both laughing]
398
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,376
[Ransom groans]
399
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:51,172
Oh, no! How long were we out?
Rumdar could be anywhere!
400
00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:53,924
We never should have underestimated him!
401
00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,092
Shaka?
402
00:18:57,595 --> 00:19:00,097
Maybe we didn't underestimate him.
403
00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:03,851
- [Grunts]
- [T'Ana] Holy [bleep]!
404
00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:06,687
I don't know how he was able to survive
in the vacuum of space,
405
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:08,022
but he's totally fine.
406
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:10,316
Uh, pakleds are strong.
407
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,777
How did you get outside
in the first place?
408
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:14,362
I went to the bathroom.
409
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:18,574
When I pressed the flush button,
I got shot out of a little hatch.
410
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,242
Are you sure you weren't in an airlock?
411
00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:23,412
Can I have all your codes now?
412
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:24,705
[Laughs]
413
00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:26,040
Get him out of here.
414
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:31,545
[Chanting] Janeway die! Janeway die!
Janeway die! Janeway die!
415
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:35,216
Ah, rumdar returns!
416
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:37,301
Hi, everybody!
417
00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:42,306
We tricked you, janeway.
We never wanted peace! Rumdar was a spy!
418
00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:43,391
[Laughs]
419
00:19:43,474 --> 00:19:45,017
What did you learn, spy?
420
00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:48,020
The enterprise
has the biggest bathrooms ever.
421
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:52,066
And she is not captain janeway.
She is captain Freeman!
422
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:54,443
- [Pakleds gasp]
- That's what I've been telling you!
423
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,612
[Laughs] I tricked you!
424
00:19:56,696 --> 00:20:01,075
And I didn't give up
any information either. I'm a good spy!
425
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:04,453
Well, yes. You are amazing!
426
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:07,581
I just wish I knew what information
you kept secret,
427
00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:10,376
so I could know how amazing you are.
428
00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:12,962
I didn't tell you anything
about our big plan
429
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:16,382
to smuggle a varuvian bomb
onto earth. [Chuckles]
430
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:21,971
Is that right? [Chuckles]
Oh, rumdar, you truly are a master spy!
431
00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:23,848
Two to beam up.
432
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:27,476
Wait a minute.
433
00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:30,521
You just beat captain janeway!
434
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:34,066
[Chanting] Rumdar! Rumdar! Rumdar! Rumdar!
435
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:40,322
Sorry I requested
anomaly consolidation duty
436
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:41,991
and, you know, went all scorpion.
437
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,075
Don't apologize.
438
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:46,704
The truth is, collecting weird space crap
is part of the fun of starfleet.
439
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:48,265
Ah, we were kinda being punks all day.
440
00:20:48,289 --> 00:20:51,667
We should have fed off your enthusiasm,
not tried to tamp it down.
441
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:55,463
Yeah, you know what? The best anomaly
today was all your silver linings.
442
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:58,174
- And that skull thing.
- Aw, thanks, guys.
443
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:01,594
[Sniffs] Oh, I still smell like
slug-digested scorpion, don't I?
444
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:04,138
Yeah. The smell of adventure!
445
00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:05,765
[All laughing]
446
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:08,976
Whoever ransom picks,
remember to keep your cool.
447
00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:10,379
I don't want anyone freaking out.
448
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,355
Sorry, you can't come with us.
449
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:16,776
That move you pulled in the mess hall
proves you don't belong in the redshirts.
450
00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:18,059
Hey. My friend was in trouble.
451
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,905
You made a fool of yourself
to make a bug laugh.
452
00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:23,240
- It was shameful.
- All right, you know what's shameful?
453
00:21:23,324 --> 00:21:25,701
Trying to build a persona
by copying other captains.
454
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,369
[Scoffs] You think riker did that?
455
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,830
You guys are wasting your time
on this redshirt stuff.
456
00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:31,665
Be your own captains.
457
00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:33,250
[Chuckles] Cute speech.
458
00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:35,920
I'm sure it'll play great
on the lower decks.
459
00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:38,756
Come on, guys! Guys?
460
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:42,134
I, um, I think I'm gonna take a break
from the redshirts,
461
00:21:42,218 --> 00:21:44,094
- focus on my duties.
- Yeah.
462
00:21:44,178 --> 00:21:48,057
Fine! I'll try to remember you
when I'm boldly going and you're not.
463
00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:51,769
Sir, I'd like to nominate myself
for the acting captain position.
464
00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:53,038
- Huh?
- I'm the best candidate
465
00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:54,772
to lead the cerritos to victory.
466
00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:56,398
Oh. I don't care. Sure.
467
00:21:56,482 --> 00:22:00,152
Oh, my god! Really?
Sir, thank you, sir! I won't let you down.
468
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,988
Quick thinking in the mess today,
Mr. Boimler.
469
00:22:03,072 --> 00:22:05,783
- You showed some real leadership.
- Thank you, sir.
470
00:22:06,367 --> 00:22:09,328
Hey, do you wanna catch
a winger bingston show sometime?
471
00:22:09,411 --> 00:22:11,288
Now that guy can deliver a speech.
472
00:22:11,372 --> 00:22:14,092
You ever see his one-man show
where he played all of Jupiter's moons?
473
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:16,627
Just got off the comms with starfleet.
474
00:22:16,710 --> 00:22:20,422
Sounds like we did a great job.
I think that deserves a drink.
475
00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:23,259
Count me in.
Acting captain, you have the conn.
476
00:22:24,426 --> 00:22:26,428
[Breathes deeply]
477
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:33,227
- [Breathes deeply]
- [Door opens]
478
00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:35,437
New shift on deck. Get out of my chair!
479
00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:37,690
Ah! Thank you. It's a great honor.
480
00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:42,653
Go clean up airlock 17.
Pakled did something unspeakable in there.
481
00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:43,863
Yes, sir.
482
00:22:47,408 --> 00:22:50,244
Ooh! And then he deflated
back into regular-size rutherford.
483
00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:52,955
Big-body rutherford?
Aw, I missed all the good stuff.
484
00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:56,083
Not all the good stuff.
Snagged this baby from shaxs's pile.
485
00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:57,459
Oh, no way!
486
00:22:57,543 --> 00:22:59,879
- This is a submanifold casting stone.
- A what?
487
00:22:59,962 --> 00:23:02,214
We can use it
to broadcast our voices to other planets.
488
00:23:02,298 --> 00:23:03,716
- What's that good for?
- [Chuckles]
489
00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:06,886
Yeah. Like, what are we gonna do?
Prank call armus? [Chuckles]
490
00:23:10,472 --> 00:23:14,435
I wish I had someone to torture.
491
00:23:14,518 --> 00:23:16,812
- [Mariner] Hey, armusl shut up, shut up.
- [Laughter]
492
00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:19,481
You, uh, you look like a big bag of crap!
493
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:21,066
[Armus] Who said that? Show yourself!
494
00:23:21,150 --> 00:23:24,278
I am armus. This is my domain!
495
00:23:24,361 --> 00:23:26,214
[Mariner]
Yeah, we already know you're armus, dummy!
496
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:28,878
[Boimler, singsongy] Come and find us.
We 're touching your stufif/
497
00:23:28,949 --> 00:23:30,135
[armus] What stuff? Stop that!
498
00:23:30,159 --> 00:23:34,038
When I find you, I'm going to kill you
with a flake of my power!
499
00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:37,041
I am a skin of evil... [grunts]
500
00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:38,810
-Il/lore like a puddle of [bleep] I
-[All laughing]
501
00:23:38,834 --> 00:23:41,503
[Armus] Damn you!
502
00:23:41,587 --> 00:23:43,547
[Laughing continues]
503
00:24:38,686 --> 00:24:40,104
Pew pew/ pew, pew, pew! Pew pew!
504
00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:43,148
Chirp.
37996
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