All language subtitles for Southern.Charm.S09E02.Spilling.the.JT.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb[eztv.re]_track4_eng

Previously on
"Southern Charm"...

["Wedding March" plays]
Ooh!

I finally married
the man of my dreams

and threw a wedding party
to introduce Brett

to my friends in Charleston.

Well, I brought you this.

OK!

If it's ticking, well, um...

♪ Just a regular bozo

And speaking of awkward,

Olivia wasn't in the mood
for small talk.

What do you need from me
in this moment

to, like, enjoy the day?

Nothing in this moment.

Then we can go
our separate----ing ways.

Meanwhile, after months
away from Charleston,

Shep could no longer put off
talking to Taylor.

You look great.

Thank you.

Unfortunately for him,
distance did not

make her heart grow fonder.

Shep cheated on me
multiple times.

And I know some of y'all
know about it.

And she started spiraling...

You laughed about it!

And spiraling.

He's a----ed up
human being!

Until no one was safe.

You didn't have my back.

I didn't cheat on you.
My friend did.

If it wasn't for me,
he would have

slept with the----ing girl.

And I should have let him!

What about your girl
cheating on you?

- No!
- ♪ It's easy

♪ As the birds and the bees
and the one, two, threes ♪

♪ Mm-hmm

[upbeat music]

♪

Charles!

Charles is taking
a sh-- right now.

Charles, have some class.

Go in the bush!

♪

[microwave beeps]

We're not eating
a meal today.

[laughs]

You had a very busy weekend.

I did.

Saw Shep for the first time
in, like, months.

How was that?

You know how, like, when you
see an ex for the first time

and, like, your heart
drops to your butt?

Yikes.

Yeah.

Vibrator, dildo.

Oh, my God!

What is that?

Yeah, no.

♪

[line trilling]

- Hello?
- Hey, what's up, baby?

Do you have a busy week?

Well, I'm going to golf
with Austin and JT.

When do you get back in town?

OK, awesome.

I miss you.

Um...

What about your girl
cheating on you?

Um, it was fun.

Look, what Taylor said
about Paige, it's bullsh--.

But I know what Taylor
is dealing with.

And I know she didn't mean it.

Who am I to, like,
hold this above her head?

Anyway, do I think
any good can come

from telling Paige about this?

No.

Brett is great.

I'd love to go on,
like, a double date

with him and Madison.

All right, well, I love you.

All right, bye-bye.

♪

Hello, hello, Republic team!

Hi!
- Hi.

- How are you?
- How are you?

- Good to see you.
- This looks heavy.

Well, this is my PR box.

- Oh, it is? OK.
- So this is--

I thought you had cookies.

I know, I was like, "Donuts?"

Better than cookies--alcohol.

But yeah, Teej, I don't know if
you can put some ice on this?

- Yeah.
- Well, yeah.

We're gonna go
sit over there.

- Let's go sit.
- How are you?

I did wake up with the
Sunday Scaries after Madison.

Oh, sh--.
[laughter]

Don't get knocked out!
[laughter]

Last year, I was working
as an orthodontic assistant.

I loved my job.

But I gave everything up
to travel with Shep.

I want to travel the world
and have adventures.

And what better way
to do it than with you?

So I want you to quit your job.

[music slows to a stop]

At the time, I thought that
it was the right decision

because I thought
that we were getting married,

settling down, having kids.

This is the new product.

They're trying to break
into the Charleston market.

Yeah.

But instead,
I was just out of a job

without something else
lined up.

So, Shep, thanks for that.

OK, sell her to me.

[clears throat]

So this is a cocktail in a can.

Um, it is real alcohol.

Um, these are all the flavors.

Um, so, um--and I--

OK, so I--
so the tequila grapefruit--

- OK.
- OK.

You know, it's our version
of a Paloma.

I think the packaging
is really pretty.

Um, like, um...

it seems more like a drink
that the girls would drink.

Yeah.

What in the world?

This is hard to watch.

OK, I'm just going
to leave that in there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, it is
a competitive price.

Honestly, I never saw myself
as a salesperson.

But Shep had a buddy
who was looking for a rep.

And impressing Leva would be
kind of a big deal.

But I have no idea
what she's thinking.

[crickets chirping]

Crickets.
[laughs]

We have to find ways
to make sure that people,

like, know we carry it.

We could pick it up
and it could just sit here.

- Right.
- But if you come in

and, like, promote it,

and then people are like,
"Oh, they're drinking it?

Let me just try one,"
you know what I mean?

Right.

This is a big moment
for my friend.

And I am here to support her

in, like, whatever way
that I can.

But this is why I'd never
quit a job for a dude.

So let's go chat.

Should we have some of these
while we're chatting?

Yeah!

[quirky music]

♪

I split the can so you guys
don't get too hammered.

- OK. Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Cheers.
- Well, cheers.

Thank you again.
- I'm excited for you.

I know, thank you.

So the last time
we saw each other was, like,

a debacle a little bit.

It was a debacle
a little bit.

You laughed about it!

Jesus, stop----ing
yelling at me.

If it wasn't for me,
he would have

slept with the----ing girl.

And I should have let him!

What about your girl
cheating on you?

No!

I don't want you
to be that person.

Right, but what Craig said

and, like, how he said it
was mean!

And there is a rumor
going around that Paige has

been not faithful to Craig.

- But it's just a rumor.
- Yeah.

You know, I did.
I said it to be hurtful.

Yeah.

You know when you see
your ex,

your, like, heart sinks?

Yeah.

I think that
the 0 to 100 with Craig

was between me and Shep.

Like, that had
nothing to do with Craig.

I genuinely regret saying
what I said to Craig.

It's difficult seeing Shep.

And I wanted to be, you know,
the big bad bitch in the room

and, you know,
"You don't bother me."

But I do care.

I don't want to care.
But I do.

And that's why I did go cuckoo.

Has Shep reached out since?

No. God, no.

He gives this many [BLEEP].
- Like, literally.

So I'm going to always want
to surround myself with people

who are going to, like,
build me and push me to be

the best version of myself.

But, like, girl, Day Chaser.

- Got to go. Keep it moving.
- You are, like, a gem.

TJ, if you need
anything from me--

You're gonna sell that stuff
left and right, girl.

I know, you're gonna be
slinging Day Chaser.

[upbeat music]

♪

Hey, Austen.

What's up, man?

Where the hell is JT?

- Yo.
- Yo!

What up?
- Hey, buddy.

- He lives.
- Sorry I'm late.

You're all good.

- Hey, pal.
- Sup, dude?

- How are we doing, dude?
- Sup, sup?

I haven't even gotten to play
with you in a little while.

I know, it's been
a while, brother.

What is up with these, like,
"Legend of Bagger Vance" clubs

that you have going on?

Remember I skunked you
last time we played?

You remember these guys?

Do you remember these arrows?

Oh, you guys are already
needling each other?

No, but seriously,
why are they so old?

You can use these today
if you want to try them out.

Maybe some better fortune
for you.

I think that they're
a little too short for me, JT.

Already
with the height jokes.

We'll see what happens
out there.

You guys crack me up.

Austen and I, we met JT
a couple years ago

when he moved
down to Charleston.

Here, you want one of these?

What in the world.

You want a cup,
or you want to be a man?

I want a cup.
[laughter]

At first, I was like,
who is this kid

with a little bit of a complex,
a Napoleon complex?

Where are you going?

I'm following him.

Why?
This is the first tee.

[laughs]

Where the hell am I going?

But he grew on me.
And we became friends.

[quirky music]

♪

That's pretty good, Craig.

I mean, it's a short par 4.

You're a short par 4.
[laughs]

50 bucks this goes further
than your driver?

[BLEEP].
- Great shot.

- 50 bucks.
- All right.

I'll give you a $40
bailout right now.

Oh, so I can just,
like, give up?

You can save yourself
10 bucks for two hot dogs.

- Wow.
- That is past you!

Boom!
- Wow.

All right, 50 bucks.

God damn, I just lit that.

Craig, Shep, Austen...
- Boom!

I've known them
for a long time.

We'd play golf
and, you know, hang out.

You guys should get up,
up on the green.

When COVID hit,
I made Charleston my home.

And now, I literally live
a life in a Charleston bubble.

- There you go.
- Oh, God.

I would see the guys
hanging out downtown.

And we kind of became friends.

And so it's
the best little bubble.

And I don't think
I'm ever going to leave.

No. Oh, come on.

Wait, JT, I want to hear more
about this trip with Taylor.

Oh, we have a lot
to unpack with Taylor.

Oh, OK.

So we went to Europe to watch
the World Cup because that's--

Wait, how did that
even happen?

I had that trip
planned for two years.

Go to England and Paris
for the World Cup.

And I just put the house up.

I said, "All my friends,
whoever wants to come,

"I got a big-ass house
in downtown London

to start and in Paris."

You invited Taylor.

I invited guys and girls.

How do you and Taylor
even know each other?

I mean, me and Taylor knew
each other for a long time.

She's obviously
a beautiful girl,

sweet, kind, funny.

I was like, "Come to Europe.
Bring your friends.

I'm going to have my friends."
- OK.

And then in Paris,
she hooked up with my friend.

She did?

She's been talking about it?

She called me when she was
over there still.

- I'm going to go hit.
- I got a question.

- Sure.
- Does it bother Shep

that you guys are so close?

It would bother me.

I'd tell you that.

I think it's his way
of staying in touch with her.

I think
it actually comforts him.

That's how----ed up it is.

I used to talk
about bro code a lot.

And now, I think I've just
developed my own code.

You don't hang out
with friends' exes.

It messes with the trust
that you have in your friends.

You're boys with Shep.
It's a slippery slope.

You can't be friends,
loyal to both.

And it's going to come back
and bite you.

[tense music]

♪

Coming up...

So then with Taylor,
like, how does that feel?

I would not be surprised

if they said,
"Let's just go for it,

and no one will ever know."

[upbeat music]

♪

Hello there!

What's up, good-looking?

- How are you?
- Good.

Good. Good to see you.

I don't think I've ever
seen you in the daytime.

It's kind of weird, isn't it?
Very Charleston-like.

It is.
You're like a vampire.

- Very Charleston-like.
- [laughs]

Oh, my gosh, yum!

Vanilla blonde
for a not-so-vanilla blonde?

Oh, clever. Clever.

- I'm trying.
- [laughs]

My first time meeting Rod,
we were at a crowded bar.

And we had, like,
this flirtatious chemistry.

This is
kind of embarrassing to say,

but like, I've never
actually come here

and, like, walked about it.

- You sure you live here?
- [laughs]

Sometimes,
I know it's questionable.

But the roommates moved out
officially today.

Roommates--do you feel
like an empty nester?

[laughs]
Pretty much.

I feel bad
because they were never

officially empty nesters.

Yeah, well, that happens
when you have a parasite--

I mean, a roommate.

[laughs] Oh, my gosh.

Charleston dating life
is a little intimidating

because I'm ancient
in the South.

At 30, like, if you're
not married with kids,

like, you're shriveled up
and dust, basically.

This is such a pretty area.

So we got a couple
sandwiches from Circe's.

So we got to dig
through the Capri Suns.

Oh, my God, Capri Suns?

Yeah, we're doing, like,
full-on high school vibes.

What do we think?
So we've got gluten-free bread.

I already ate, but--
just kidding.

[laughs]
- Like, on a date before this?

No, I have a date after,
so I can't eat that much.

Oh, OK.
My problem is,

I've been told
that I'm a really bad eater.

And so I tried my best
to not, like, eat on,

like, first and second dates.

OK, I won't watch you eat.

- Pact on that?
- Mm-hmm.

Pact.

Oh, my gosh!

I'm just kidding.
This is really good.

They had gluten-free?
I looked it up.

I went to The Pass
to get your bread.

I dropped it off.

You're lying!

I had to go to two spots.

Are you serious?

Rod is so sweet.

He's just got such
a chivalrous spirit about him.

That's very thoughtful.
Thank you.

I don't want you
dying on our date.

That would be weird.

It's really refreshing.

It makes me want to give him,
like, a fair shot.

Want a Capri Sun?

- Yeah!
- Yeah?

I mean, you can't help
but compare him to Austen.

It's like, I was in Neverland.
Now I'm on Earth.

[laughs]

And I can't believe you went
to two different places.

You really are a gentleman.

It's a breath of fresh air.
- I'm trying.

I feel like they're a dime
a dozen in this town.

I think you got
that term backwards

because that means
there's a lot of them.

No, dime a dozen?

That means there's not a lot.

- Oh, boy.
- Do I have that wrong?

[both laugh]

I think you have that wrong.

It's more like--
oh, hey, tour lines!

Is that sightseeing?

Yeah, they're probably
on the mic.

"To your left,
you'll see 300 white people

"and one brown guy.

Wave at the Brown guy,
everybody."

Make him feel welcome."

[both laughing]

Oh, my gosh, seriously,
I'm getting a headache

from laughing too much.

Oh, my gosh.

[giggles]

You are blushing
a little bit.

I am.
I am blushing.

I'm here for it.

Well, you're the cause of it.

Good.

I hope to be
the cause of it more.

This has been so nice.

Let's make a habit of it.

- That sounds good.
- Yeah?

- Mm-hmm.
- I'm in.

- All right.
- I'm in.

All right, cool.

Well, thank you...

[soft music]

For my Capri Sun.

Of course.

And gluten-free sandwich.

♪

[upbeat music]

♪

OK.

Where is
my hand-painted pillow?

Somebody moved it.

[quirky music]

Ah.

[chuckles]

Hey, honey.

Afternoon.

How are we?
- We?

We are tired.
- Why?

Because somebody was partying
until 4:00 in the morning

here last night.

No idea
what you're talking about.

No?

[laughs]

Hey, Randy.

Can I get you guys
something to drink?

Please.
Mom?

Well, maybe it would help me.

My usual? Martini, please?

- Yeah, coming up.
- I'll have one as well.

Sit up straight
and put your foot down.

Well, the chair sucks.

Put the--

Look--I mean,
form over function

for all your furniture here.

It's a museum here
that is not comfortable.

You can't put a drink anywhere.

You just have
to sit up straight.

I'm just saying,
form over function, you know?

Shut up and sit down.

Oh, wow, look at those.
Crisp and cold.

Yes, indeed,
shaken not stirred.

- Thank you.
- Thank you, Randy.

- You're welcome.
- Very nice.

Cheers, Mom.
- Cheers, honey.

You know, the Brits
never touch glasses.

They just say, "Cheers," or--

- Well, we're Americans, so...
- It's considered gauche.

[sips]
Mmm.

Did you talk to Madison or--

No.

I'm really sorry
because I really did want

to go to celebrate with her.

But I told her,
I'll go to her next one.

[both laugh]

It was to celebrate
the richness of marriage.

Speaking of which...
[laughs]

Working on it.
It's a work in progress.

Uh-uh, yes, it has been
for quite some time now.

My father,
he didn't get married

until he was in his 60s.

Whitney, he has
some of that DNA.

And he says, "I'm looking.

But I haven't found the one."

And I say, "Get over
22-year-old models

because you always complain
about them being inarticulate."

Well, I mean--
[laughs]

Let's expand the search!
[laughs]

But to quote
the Keebler elves,

you can't rush richness.

I thought you were gonna
quote Strindberg or something

a little more esoteric.

[chuckles]
[sighs]

Coming up...

When you have a sleepover
with a girl

that is your friend's ex,
it's murky.

What are you talking about?

Listen.

[upbeat music]

♪

[phone trilling]

- Madison.
- Mom.

- Hi!
- You look cute.

Where you going?

Well, actually,
I just saw in an article

that they're saying modern
with a little bit of antiques

is the new thing.

So you're already ahead
of the trend.

I'll keep you busy.

When are you coming to visit?
[laughs]

Yeah, I'm free.

I just got done going through
all my gifts from the party.

Aww.

I miss you too.

So I'll call you

before we come to make sure.

Yeah, Hudson's at his dad's.

And then Brett's in California.

So I'm home alone.

Thank you.

It's been my favorite job
so far.

[laughs]

OK, I have made him
Hamburger Helper once or twice.

I'm not going to lie.

[laughs]

Let me tell you a funny story.

So I made
a pot roast for Brett.

My pot roast is really good.

He sat there, ate,
left all the carrots around.

And then I was like,
oh, my God,

he's allergic
to----ing carrots.

But he didn't complain
one time.

It was so nice!

Well, I mean, obviously,
I have to stay busy

because if I don't,
I, like, go crazy.

And then when Hudson's not here
either, I'm like, dang,

I'm in this big house
all by myself.

But that could change
because we're talking about,

like, me getting
off birth control.

Is he happy?
Are you kidding me?

Yeah, he's so happy.

But you know him.
He's kind of--

Yeah, but now,
he's in an office

versus, like,
out fighting fires.

And he's doing it
to be with us more.

Brett did take a step back
from the front line

because his job is dangerous.

Normally, the guys
that have families

aren't dead in the front.

And then, I mean,
if I have a baby,

I would want him around
all the time.

But I do miss him a lot
when he's gone.

Well--you there?
You OK?

[laughs]

♪

[line trilling]
- Hey, buddy.

What's up?
We're out front.

All right,
I'm coming out right now.

All right, cool.

What's up, dude?

Hop on!
- Sup, dude?

♪

First stop of the bar crawl,
let's grab some drinks.

Where's Shep?

- Shep should catch up later.
- OK.

♪

- What do you want to drink?
- I never tried your beer.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- JT.
- I know.

Losing points
by the minute, my dude.

Maybe I'll do
a Jack and Diet for now.

Wow.
"I've never tried your beer.

I'll have a Jack and Diet."

Wow, what a son of a bitch.

No, we have all day, though.

I'm gonna get one, I promise.
- OK.

♪

Hey, do I know you?

Yo, dude!
What's up, bro?

- How are you?
- Good.

Ooh, you went vest, too.

- I did.
- I love that.

You got
the Winged Foot going.

- Yeah, Winged Foot.
- That's good.

You played, huh?
- I did. I shot 80, yeah.

That's actually incredible.
That course is hard as hell.

Dude, I got to play
Royal Melbourne.

How do you get
on that course?

I'll tell you how.

We met these two girls.
Well, I met--

Ah, Jesus, I can't hear
that story again.

Can we not go through
the golf story?

Just give me, like,
the two minute rundown,

just real quick.

All right, I met
two identical twins

in Bondi Beach.

That's the long way around.

That's a good start
to the story.

Did you have a threesome
with the two twins?

No. No, I didn't.

That would have been
a happy ending.

- Yeah!
- I want to hear

more stories about Australia.

You do?
I bet you do.

I can't wait to hear
about your trip.

Yeah, it was great, man.

We met a lot of girls.
Fantastic. Beautiful.

One night,
I went to a restaurant.

These two girls walk in.

The identical twins
or other girls?

Other girls.

Went out with them,
like, barhopping.

- Oh, OK.
- And they were great.

They were great.

And then I was someone's date

to a wedding in Melbourne.

Anyway, it was----ing awesome.
I met people--

Oh, I didn't get on those.

You didn't? Oh, OK.

I had organic success.

It was great.

Listen, I am not
a relationship counselor.

But you were with Taylor.

Like, why did you,
like, let her go?

I don't understand.

It's going to be hard
to do better than her.

He did not say that.

She's, like,
literally perfect.

[chuckles]

Whoa!

Can I be honest with you?

You should find a way
to marry that girl.

There's plenty of fish
in the sea, my friend.

Don't you worry about that.
- Oh, [BLEEP].

But, like, you had
the best girl in the world.

I mean, look,
Taylor is a catch.

I'm trying to understand
why you'd let her go.

Like, why?

[tense music]

What is going on?

JT is in love with the girl.

Craig, I'm not
in love with her.

When she walks in,
you light up.

I light up too
when Taylor walks in.

Does that mean
I'm in love with her?

You spend
a lot of time with her.

Yeah, Taylor and I,
we're, like, super close.

We just got so close

because I was so concerned
about Olivia.

She was always calling me
about you, but, like--

Wait, wait, hold on.
Wait, hold on, look.

You guys are boys.

Do you care
that he's calling your ex?

Like, do you guys--
- I can't--

- I mean, I'm like--
- I don't care.

- Huh?
- It's for Taylor to decide

who she wants to hang out with,
you know?

Even with one
of your best friends?

Yeah, yeah.

No, no, there's bro code!

♪

I sort of see Austen
as a life raft

between me and Taylor.

I get information.

I ask how she is,
what she's up to.

Is she happy?
How was she last week?

Was she--you know,
because I care.

With Taylor,
you've got to be careful

with that relationship.

You're talking to his ex.
- It's complicated.

I get what you're saying,

but, like, when you have
a sleepover with a girl

that is your friend's ex,
I mean--

♪

What are you talking about?

The other night.

Like, we were all at the bar,

and then she was like,
"I'm tired."

And then we all
went back to yours.

You let me leave.

And it was just the two of you.

And then the next morning,
I was like,

"Do you want to get coffee?"

She's like,
"I'm leaving Austen's now."

I go, "OK, like,
this is weird."

Wow.

♪

With Taylor,
you've got to be careful

with that relationship.

You're talking to his ex.
- It's complicated.

I get what you're saying.

But, like, when you have
a sleepover with a girl

that is your friend's ex,
I mean--

[tense music]

What are you talking about?

The other night.
Like, we were all at the bar.

And then she was like,
"I'm tired."

And then we all
went back to yours.

You let me leave.

And it was just the two of you.

And then the next morning,
I was like,

"Yo, do you want
to get coffee?"

She's like,
"I'm leaving Austen's now."

I go, "Like, this is weird."

Listen, we both--

we both--

Wait, so she spent the night
at your house that night.

And it was just two?

No. Listen, I was downstairs.

I thought that,
you know, she left

and come to find out, you know,
she was in the guestroom.

And like, you know,
woke up the next day.

And she, like, you know,
walks in my room, like, "Hey!"

I was like, "Ah, I didn't know
you----ing were here."

She was like,
"Yeah, I got drunk."

Listen, I do think
your relationship with Taylor

has hit a point
where it's a little gray.

It's murky.

I don't know
if you feel that way.

I do feel that way.

But I don't have
any claim over anybody.

And Taylor and I
have always had,

like, a different sort of
relationship because of Shep.

If he had a sleepover
with Olivia, you'd be pissed.

Oh, my God.

My point is,
when you have a sleepover

with your friend's ex
without talking to him first,

it is a little bit murky.

No, no, no, man,
when I think of her,

I feel like
a protective brother.

Have you ever kissed?

No.

I'm going to get a beer.

You only have to watch
a handful of spy movies

to know, if you look down
and to the left,

that means you're lying.

[in slow-motion] No.

Watch any show
where there's an interrogation

and they'll talk about it.

Like, it's based off something!

Listen, there are
friends in my life

that, like, I could share,
like, a bed with

and, like, things don't happen.

And I kind of feel
that way about Taylor.

You feel like you can
share a bed with her?

Not, like, inappropriate--
but, like--

And you've never kissed?

No, no, no.

Hand on the Bible,
you've never kissed?

I just told you.

OK, I believe you.

What?
He's saying that he's--

Let's drop it.

At the core of this, Austen is
a very close friend of mine.

So I have to go
with what Austen says

because that's what friends do.

They trust each other, typically.

You know, I don't know
how to feel, man.

I mean,
if Olivia came on to me--

I don't see her doing that,
first of all, because--

well, I am pretty charming
and cool.

I don't--this just doesn't

make me happy
in any sort of way.

He's having sleepovers
with his ex.

I'm professing my love
for his ex.

How about you all just
take a running start

and kick me in the balls?

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

♪

[cat meows]

[doorbell rings]

[Charles barking]

Charles, chill. Chill.

[Charles barking]

Damn, well,
don't you look cute!

- Hey!
- Oop!

both: Charles!

Charles!
[both laugh]

Don't you dare! Oh, my God.

I mean, dang,
he's trying to break free.

He doesn't like cats.

Oh, oh!

And there was a cat sitting
right there just now.

Hi. You look so cute.
- Thank you.

So do you.
- Thank you.

Come on in.

- It's so cute in here.
- Thank you.

- Love it!
- Thank you!

I just added this,
like, wall art.

- I love that!
- Yeah.

All right,
we pulling weeds and sh--,

or are we planting,
like, pretty stuff?

We're doing both.

[laughs]
- Oh, wow, OK.

Well, we gonna start
by getting rid of those.

I know.
The yard needs so much work.

There's only a few people
that I'll go

and pull some weeds
out of the damn ground for.

And Venita is one of those.

There's nobody else
in this group

that I can, like,
be myself with and giggle with

and, like, be serious
and have a good time

and, like, not feel judged.

I'm definitely happy
that Venita and I

are friends again.

Just don't talk sh-- about me

and it will be fine.

Did I wink?

Oh, no, this other eye
is, like, paralyzed.

It's fine.

No, I was just born crooked,
you know what I mean?

Thanks.

OK, let's do it.

- Let's go.
- OK.

Girl, we are cutting
down to the green.

Good,
that's how it should be.

- Oh, Lord.
- Oh!

OK, this can work.

Yeah, that already looks
a little better.

That's why I called you
and not anybody else, OK?

[both laugh]

I just won Yard of the Month
two months in a row.

Now that I'm married,
I like to play house.

This is the new flowers
from what I originally had.

The flower boxes look good.

So if it's making a pot roast,
if it's gardening,

if it's nesting in the home,

you know, I know
what I'm doing.

How did Brent feel
about meeting everybody

at the party?

Other than Taylor,
I think he was

really happy with everybody.

Yeah.

She's a little unhinged
right now.

- Yeah.
- And I get it.

She's hurt, which is fine.

She has the right to be hurt.

But you can't keep
bringing dildos...

Oh, my God!
What is that?

And screaming
at people's parties.

He's a----ed up human being!

Can we not do this?

- Yeah, I agree.
- Yeah.

Like, mm, I'm about
to get her a butt plug

but tell her
it's for her mouth.

[laughs]
Oh, my God, yeah.

That wasn't the time and place.

No, like,
here I am, trying to have

a classy event for once.

I'm not used
to this side of Taylor.

Yeah, she's always
so nice and sweet.

- And, like, quiet, you know?
- Yeah.

I feel like we should just
see if we can kind of like--

I don't know,
like, reel her in.

Just get together, like,
me, you, Leva, Olivia.

Like, more intimate.
It's just us, just girl talk.

- Oh, OK, so just the girls.
- Just the girls.

Make her realize that, like,
if she's having a down moment,

like, call one of us
and not just lose herself

and, like, yell at people.

Like, the yelling at Craig was
like, were you yelling at Craig

or were you yelling at Shep?
So like--

Well, I mean, it was
probably a lot of both.

But, I mean, when you go
into, like, dating someone

that has these best friends--

You're going
to side with him.

- You're going to go with him.
- Yeah.

And I think the only one

that really didn't do that
to her was Austen.

Which, I have my own thoughts
about that.

I mean, I low-key think
he's in love with her.

[tense music]

Coming up...

I didn't know about
spending nights and stuff.

I just don't know.
- Does it bother you?

Yeah, it does.

[dramatic music]

[upbeat music]

♪

- Let's go, shall we?
- We can go somewhere else.

Yeah, if we go
somewhere else,

we might talk
about something fun.

We closed out.
Let's go.

See you guys.
Thanks for having us.

- Jesus Christ. JT!
- That was a lot.

Ooh, my shades, baby.

- You all right?
- Costa.

I know that's a lot of stuff.

It's a lot.

I know.

I'm like, Jesus!

Like, I'm pretty evolved, man.

But I think it would
be really----ing tough

if Austen slept with her.

So you really don't think
they've ever kissed?

I really don't have any idea.

And I'm not going
to play detective,

you know what I mean?

But Austen...----ing Austen.

[laughs]

Well, you've never
admitted to me

that you thought it was weird.

And it is weird!

I know,
because I knew that they had

such a good relationship
when we were dating.

But obviously,
when the breakup occurred--

Well, you thought it would
kind of, like, split.

Yeah, and it got
even stronger.

It's so sketchy.

[tense music]

Did you talk to Rodrigo?

I told him to meet us here.

- Good.
- Hey, guys.

Let's get some food.
Y'all got any food?

Yeah, we do.

They have
these bomb tuna nachos.

Let's get the buffalo
chicken empanadas.

Are they selling
the Big Deck Energy shirts?

They're right there.

Hey, if I buy you a shirt,
will you wear it?

I mean, it depends.

I'll pay for your bar tab
the rest of the night.

I mean, if it says
"I have a baby dick,"

I'm not gonna wear the shirt.

It doesn't say that.

Roddie!

- Sup, baby bitch?
- Hey, Hot Rod!

Hey, buddy!

What's up, baby?
Doing all right?

Dude, nice to finally
meet you in person, man.

- Yeah, nice to meet you, man.
- Good to meet you.

Long time, no see.

I know.

Big Deck Energy.

You said the deal was,
it didn't say dick

and it didn't say baby.

It's definitely
a derivative of dick.

You said you would do it!

All right,
I'll----ing do it.

You gotta advertise
a big deck, you know?

- Hey, what food you want?
- I don't care.

He got--you got
crab dip, right?

Yeah.

Why don't we just do
the Share House sampler?

Are we sitting down
somewhere?

Yeah.

Roddie, man, what have you
been up to, buddy?

Why don't you chug that beer
to, like,

get to where you need to be?

All right, let's go for it.

Oh, wow, go. Go, Roddie.
Go, Roddie.

Go, go, go!
- Craig's feeling it.

Oh, my God. Wow.

Oh, Rodrigo.

I have known Rodrigo
for a decade at this point.

He is best friends

with some of my friends
from high school.

And he is one of my favorite
humans in Charleston.

That looks really good. Wow!

Did you guys make it home
all right last night?

Oh, yeah.
Tyler and I were at Rare Bit.

Tyler's your boyfriend?
- Yeah.

OK, cool.

And I ran
into my ex-boyfriend

with his now wife.
- What?

And I jokingly--
I know, exactly.

- Triangulate that.
- Like, I did a number on him.

He was like, you know,
"[BLEEP] gays.

"I'm going back to--

I'm going back to women."
- The dark side.

And I jokingly said,
I was like,

"You know, we should all
hang out some time."

And Tyler thought
I was serious.

He literally was like,
"You really want to hang out

with your ex
and his girlfriend?"

I was like,
"No, I was----ing kidding."

[laughter]

JT, when was
the last time you had sex?

With a girl?

[laughter]
- I asked you a question.

Like, when was
the last time you had sex?

I'm not going to answer
to you about my sex life.

You don't have to say who.
It doesn't matter.

It's just like, when was
the last time you had sex?

When was the last time
you had sex?

Six days ago.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Conjugal visit.
- [whistles]

Yeah.

Interesting.

Are you going to answer,
or no?

Yeah, I've not been
interested in anyone.

Is it because of Taylor?

Jesus Christ.

You were holding out
for Taylor.

No, Craig, will you stop
painting that narrative?

Oh, God, Craig.

You're not wrong
for liking her.

Craig, you gotta
drop this, dude.

You do have Big Deck Energy.

- What's up?
- I just need a break.

JT's like, "You'll never find
anybody like her, man.

What the [BLEEP]
are you thinking?"

I'm like, oh, God, maybe not.

I just know
how much she loved me.

I mean, I can't believe
we're out and drinking

and talking
about failed relationships.

I couldn't agree more.

We should have met
a long time ago.

Yeah, we should have.

So how do you know
these guys?

Austen grew up in Charlotte
with one of my best friends.

So I met him years ago
when he was a normal person.

And then he turned
into a douche.

- Right.
- Well, I mean,

he was always a douche.

Here's what I'll say.

We're used to looking at you
like this,

like, "I don't give a [BLEEP].

I don't care."

But this was my longest
relationship ever.

Yeah, but you never acted
like you cared,

at least to us.
- I did.

OK, well...
- I mean, we knew you did.

But maybe you're softer
than you put off, you know?

Yeah, I am sometimes.

Like, maybe it bothers you
a little more than you admit,

how much she hangs out
with Austen.

Like, I've never
seen you actually

be concerned about that,
and today--

I thought their relationship
was really strong.

And it was something
that I was OK with.

But I didn't know about
spending nights and stuff.

I just don't know.
I don't want to know.

- Does it bother you?
- Yeah, it does.

But it's also her choice.

I know it's her choice,
but, like, yeah.

Like, I get it.
We all get it.

I'm sitting right here, Craig.

I'm sitting right here.

Well, maybe
you should have told me.

Or been like, "Hey"--

Well, if something
would have transpired, then--

Would you have?

Then I would have had
a conversation with you.

But a one-night stand,
you wouldn't have said sh--.

Is that what you're saying?

[tense music]

I mean,
because at that point,

to say something to someone is,
like, you know, just hurtful.

But that's not what happened.

Good. Good to hear.

This is so bad, Austen.

This is so bad.

♪

I didn't know about
spending nights and stuff.

I don't want to know.
- Does it bother you?

Yeah, it does.

[tense music]

So...

Look, I knew it hit you,
which it should,

because it would hit any of us.

Like, I know you're like,

"I don't want to hear this
about my ex."

And maybe, like--

- All right, let's stop
- ing pounding this

into his goddamned brain.

- Let's pound beers.
- Let's...

Go somewhere
and stop talking about exes?

- Yeah, seriously, Craig--
- Let's do it.

OK, all right.
And let's wrangle these two.

So how long have you
and Tyler have been together?

Almost eight years.

Jesus!

Hey, boys, hey,
we're going to go somewhere

to catch the sunset.

So here we go.

Y'all ready?

All right,
we're going somewhere next?

Yeah.

Can I take the shirt off now?

[upbeat music]

How are you?

We're going to go
to the rooftop.

OK.

This is beautiful!

♪

Gentlemen.
Roddie, a beer for you.

Hey, thank you, Roddie.

I don't care what anybody
says about you, Roddie.

You're a good guy.

There are wooden ships
and there are steamships.

[laughter]
- Shut up!

both: And there are ships
that sail the sea.

But the best ships
are friendships...

both: And may they ever be.

So there you go.

Is there a breakup toast
for breaking up?

You haven't broken up
with anybody.

Yeah, you'd need a girlfriend
for a breakup.

[laughter]

First you have to get a girl
to get to the breakup.

Wait, when was your
last serious relationship?

Uh, my ex-wife.

[tense music]

[laughs]
What?

I got married out of college.

How long were you married?

Like, six, seven years.

She was a great girl.

I didn't know that.

It was a great love story.
And she was English.

We got married
kind of for a visa.

It was kind of forced.

It wasn't
the best love story.

It wasn't--
let me be very clear.

It was not because of the visa.

It was just like,
you know, like,

when you fall in love
with a girl,

and then the government says,
"Break up with her."

Well, yes, I wouldn't want
my girlfriend to leave.

- That happens all the time.
- So you do what you gotta do.

You man up and you go, how are
we gonna solve this problem?

We're not breaking up.
- Is she still in the U.S.?

- Yeah, where is she now?
- She married a ski instructor

and lives in the Alps.
Her life's great.

[laughter]

Which Alps, the Italian Alps?

The French Alps?
The Swiss Alps?

[laughter]

Let's stop
talking about this.

Take a shot.
- You, me, and Roddie.

Yeah, we'll go downstairs.

Oh, we're going to do a shot.
- All right.

All right, boys.

I think in the next
30, 40, 50 years,

traditional
relationships/marriage,

what our parents had,
is just not going

to look like anything like it.

I think that's already here.

I don't know.
Girls want careers and sh--.

Like, I don't know,
it's very progressive.

[laughs]
It's very progressive.

Like, I think lust and love

are just two different things,
you know?

And lust happens
in a blink of an eye

and it doesn't mean much.

But it's like, it's something.

It's----ing something.

- All right, boys, cheers.
- Cheers.

Cheers to a decent night

of talking about exes
and awkwardness.

That was a lot of ex talk
for one night.

Cheers. You think?

I think Shep knows that
you're in love with Taylor.

- I got--I got--I got it out.
- Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey, but now, the next time
that we hang out--

- I'm not bringing it up.
- Just don't.

Absolutely!

You're going to put this on--
but you're the one

who hangs out with his ex.

If it was me, I'd be like,
Jesus Christ.

I think of anyone here,
he should be

more mad at you than me, though.

Yeah, but I've known him
for seven----ing years.

Yeah, which makes it worse.

So then, with Taylor, like,
Austen having sleepovers

with her, how's that feel?

Frankly, I don't know
what I think of Austen.

It's really inappropriate
and weird.

I go 50/50
on if there's something

happening between them.

And what am I going to do,
like, go back in time

and bust through the door?
No.

What can I do?
Nothing.

But I would not be surprised

if they both looked
at each other,

like, "Let's just go for it.

And no one will ever know."

I think it's----ed up.

[dramatic music]

♪

Next time
on "Southern Charm"...

He's going to take
that mirror off.

- Oh!
- Go on the other side.

What's your level
of certainty

that Austen and Taylor,

nothing's happened
between them?

Austen treats his friends
so well.

Taylor, I think
he's low-key in love with you.

What?

I have some, like, weird,
awkward news for you.

I may or may not have
been out with Olivia.

We might have made out
a little bit.

She stayed
at Austen's place overnight.

Austen was not
in a good place with you.

I was not in a good place
with Shep.

But our friendship is what
is most important to me.

So did anything happen?

♪