All language subtitles for Givat.Halfon.Ei976.DVDRip.x264-HANDJOB

DVD / DVDRip
Duration: 1:29:29
FPS: 25

Itzhak Shani - Yosef Diamant
Present

Deshe to Halfon,
do you copy, over?

This is Halfon, we copy like
hell, attention, over.

Attention to at ease,
I'm tired, over to her.

What happened?
- She came over. -Ahhh...

"If your life is a disaster,
if you are nervous as hell,

"Get immediately in a Taxi
and go to the Reserves.

"If the heart is going crazy
and the pressure goes up,

"Take a patriotic vacation
and go to the Reserves.

"Zahal, Zahal, we are coming
we run to the Reserves.

"If someone calls us from
the bank or the IRS,

"We answer in our code,

"Halfon Hill doesn't answer.

"The wife goes to sleep at 6
between cream and sheets,

"Give her a hug over the
rollers and go to the Reserves

"if you haven'w given up
and you believe

that the Hatikva is not only
a song, "Go to the Reserves.

"Zahal, Zahal, we are coming
we run to the Reserves,

"If someone calls us from
the bank or the IRS,

"We answer in our code,

"Halfon Hill doesn't answer.

"Zahal, Zahal, we are coming
we run to the Reserves,

"If someone calls us from
the bank or the IRS,

"We answer in our code,

"Halfon Hill
doesn't answer."

Is there something
to eat? -No.

What do you mean, no? I'm
hungry, is there any food?

Come at noon. -What noon?

It's already
after noon, give me food.

You want Shakshuka? -Shakshuka?
- Please. Take a tomato.

What are you doing?!

With the tomato,
you take an egg

and put them together, put it
in the oven, three minutes.

A great Shakshuka
Please, leave me alone.

Leave me alone now.

Listen, this cannot go on
like this.

I'll write to the ombudsman
about you. -To whom?

The Chief of Staff.
- Go away, jerk.

Go peel the potatoes.

Gingi! Can I tell you what
happened in the kitchen?

No. -So, what about my leave?
- What? -My leave to go home.

Home! Report at one to the
fortifications detail.

All last week I was on the
fortifications detail.

So! Listen, Gingi, Hilik got
a 24 hour leave.

Yes. Shulka got a 36 hour
leave. -Ok, get off of my back!

Now, an invasion of troops
to the central sector...

Looking good. Ready for
action? -What action?

Gingi, believe me,

all this chase after girls
is just a waste of energy.

What girls, Shamgar.

I'll go home, eat, see my
girlfriend and retorn.

First sergeants don't need a
sergeant on their shoulder,

they need a sergeant major
grade on their hand.

Ok, give me the order.

This guy has been avoiding
reserve duty for 15 years,

so, take care of it.
Everything is written here.

Name of Sergio Constanza, he
lives in 55, Hayarkon st.

Why are you laughing?
- Hayarkon (whore's street)?

Maniacs. This unit is
full of maniacs.

Gingi, bring him here,
whatever the cost,

and if he makes trouble,
use force.

If the Force makes trouble,
switch to Darth Vader.

It will be alright.

So? -For how long
did you came?

Just a few hours, I came to
pick up a Reserve a.w.o.I.

With leaves like yours I
wouldn't stay in the army.

No, I'll be promoted to
sergeant major

then I'll have an apartment
and mortgage, it will be o.k

You know that I agree.
But my father...

It will be alright.
I'll talk to him.

Are you crazy?
You don't know him.

It's time I did. I'll talk
to him now,

you'll see,
it will be alright.

I'll go and after minutes,
I'll come out and he will

wish us a happy life. Don't
be scared.

Don't tell him we met.
- It will be alright.

Seat down!

36.6 degrees. Liars,

this thermometer runs behind
at least two degrees.

Why don't you buy a swiss
thermometer, They are exact.

Maybe you want me to order a
"cuckoo thermometer"?

Mr. Hason, I wanted
to talk to you...

I came to talk. to ask for
the daughter of your hand

The hand of your daughter.

The hand is ok.

About the other parts, I
have to switch to a suit.

Shifra, he is here.
- Who is here?

Remember that we wrote to
the Find-a-Mate agency?

No. -Never mind.

They sent
a soldier-groom.

At this very moment he is
asking for your hand.

But, father, there isn't
anybody in the living room.

Never mind. Do me a favor,
put on something modern,

wear something to hide
your face

when I call you, come in but
shut up like a mute fish.

Victor Hason, Real Estate
and Properties Ltd.

First sergeant Raphael Moked
427634. -Nice number.

White? (also: privileged)
- Black number.

Drop-outs recruits. -Strong
recruits. what's the net?

After all the deductions and
the combat extra pay,

3,200 and six cents.

Round figure.
Moked. -Moked.

Any relation to Moked
(a program) from the TV?

Maybe, we are a big family.
Tanks? -Infantry. -Infantry.

Central Command. -Sinai.
- Regards to Arik (Sharon).

He is not there anymore.

Find him. -With pleasure,
Mr. Hason.

Mr. Hason, I promise that
your daughter will have

a happy life with the new
family of your daughter.

I say that your daughter is
A. the acme of perfection,

B. the top of beauty,
C. the joy of my life.

First sergeant Moked,
your daughter is mine.

My daughter is yours? -Do
you have a daughter? -No.

For the last time, Moked.
My daughter is yours.

Thank you very much,
Mr. Hason.

I saw immediately that you
are one those fathers

that puts his daughter
in front of him, his.

You are a good flatterer.

With your permission, I'd
like to invite the bride.

She is outside.
- She is inside.

First sergeant Moked,
allow me

to introduce your wife,
my future daughter,

Shifra Hason-Moked.

You are a soldier?

But... excuse me, I think
there is a mistake here.

Why, you are not a soldier?
- Yes, but, I mean...

I thought more in the
direction of Yaeli.

Yaeli! Why don't you think
in the direction of the door

before I slap you in the
direction of the cheek.

I wanted a soldier so much.

Don't cry, Don't cry.

There are many soldiers.
We'll get you a soldier.

One call to Motta (Chief of
Staff), all Zahal is here.

Why are you worried?
You don't know me?

Yaeli? Yaeli?

Have a good time, Eric.
- Yes.

Jaqueline, take good care
of him.

He is a friend of mine.
He's cute.

High ranked officer in the
UN. Rich. Let's play.

Five thousand.

Ten thousand. -Full.

Let's see, sweetie.

Full ace. -Wait a minute,
that not good.

One, two, three, four. Carre
takes it all. Let's go home.

Sit, continue to play.

Wait a minute, we said that
with a seven carre,

the player has the right to
finish the game. Who said?

According to the Las Vegas
Convention. -What?

You stay here and continue
to play. Take the money.

All right.

Zuzi, bring two Blue
Martini's, on the rocks.

Chicho!

Two. -Yes, two.

Sergio! The police!

Let's hurry, go out through
the red curtain!

Those are the guys from
Vice, the hit hard.

Police! Business permit!
- What do you want?

What did I do?

You have a gambling club
here.

No, the guys come to drink
here!

Gambling!

It's alright.

Good boys. Good work!

You deserve something,
like we agreed.

This is for you and this is
for you. Good bye. -See you.

Hi, sweetie, this
is Sergio Constanza.

How are you? -How am I?

Where is the money,
Canttata?!

I have the good luck of
having the money in my hand.

I'n going to see you,
Concert,

and if you are not there,
I'll get you,

I'll eviscerate you and hang
you from your guts!

It's alright, sweetie, I'm
there even if they put there

in there, I'm here.
See you.

Hi, boys.

Long time no see, ah?
Do you want a drink?

Who was it? -One son of a...

Sold me two dunam in front
of Herzelia Pituah.

He made a fool of me.

What's so bad about 2 dunam
in front of Herzelia Pituah?

Very bad. He sold them to me
on the side of the sea.

I cruised a whole day in a
glass bottom boat looking.

You can build a condominium
for newlywed fish there.

Fish... Better get me
the threat suit.

Let me go, you are
strangling me.

Let me go!

And the rest! -The rest?

Here is the rest.

Is there someone here by
the name of Constanza?

Yes, I'm Constanza.

That's a Reserve Duty order,

you're going to Sinai.

Zahal is alright.
Zahal calls, Sergio goes.

Come here.

Soldier, ah? How much did he
pay you for this charade?

What do you mean? Get your
hands of Zahal property.

Get out of here.

Ok, don't move.
Don't move.

Mr. Constanza, get on the
jeep, I'll cover you.

Don't move!

Do you know him? He is the
father of my girlfriend.

He is also the father
of my debt. Go, go.

Sergio?

Where is he?
- Fled to the Reserves.

Which army will agree
to take him?

This is his order. Read it.

There is no army in the
world that would stop me

from parcelling the face
of this concertina!

Yes. -Good morning.
- Where to? -338.

Are you a civilian?
- Reserve.

The suitcases? -The
suitcases are mine.

Good thing you didn't bring
the sofas.

Listen, I'll tell
you a story,

in World War Two I fought
with the partisans,

I didn't have long
underwear... -Go, go!

Gingi, I forgot the slippers
at home. -Really.

Go already!

Gingi! What about my leave?

You got another two hours on
the observation post!

Hilik! This is Sergio and
the other way around.

Get the suitcases, find him
a bed and working clothes,

I'll be right back.
Hurry up!

Hurry!

Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, Hilik.

Tell me, Hilik, whose land
is this? -The army.

The army? Way to go, Zahal.
Where are the rooms?

Way to go.

This is my room?

So? Plenty of ventilation,
water flows freely.

Nice!

This is for you, Hilik.
- Forget it. -Here.

Forget it. -Hilik,
buy yourself a Kit-Kat.

You don't have something
a bit more elegant?

We plan to use disposable
clothes in the future.

Way to go.

Now, put on uniform and
report to me for a rifle.

Hilik, come here! What kind
of watch do you have?

Doxa. -Doxa! Did you hear
about Fuji? -No.

It's high time you did.

I know about these things.

This is also an alarm clock,
do you see? Here.

200 Pounds. 36 Stones.
- Enough! Go fight a windmill

you gave me a headache.

Where did I arrive?

Are there any girls here?
Hell.

What's going on? Where am I?
Must be full of snakes.

Forgive me for asking, I
don't remember I took you.

Where is Gingi?

What do you need him for,
maybe I get in with you

and we do a Tours de France.
- Sergio!

Sergio, come on, the
commander wants to see you.

Tell him I'm busy.
- Come on already...

You have a wig? -No, this is
my own hair.

The wig there. -Where?
That's... a story,

I'll tell you.

When I served with
the partisans,

we used to perform in front
of the soldiers in the army.

So I thought that I could do
e

something here
for the guys.

Yaeli!

Yaeli, what are you
doing here?

I won't leave you until my
father lets us marry.

No, no, Yaeli, you can't
stay here.

Yaeli, this is
against orders.

Stop. -This is an army base,
that's enemy territory.

There are snakes, scorpions
and all sorts of maniacs,

you can't stay here.
- I don't care!

Yaeli, please, stop crying!

Wait a minute, please.

Gingi, don't yell, sit down.

I have an idea.

To Sergio you turned,
you made no mistake.

What's your name,
sweetheart? -Yaeli.

Yaeli, nice to meet you.

You know the perfume Fuji?
- No.

I had some in the suitcase.
Never mind.

What is the idea... Do you
know how to juggle? -No.

No? -No.
- Striptease?

What do want? -Hang on
a minute, I've an idea.

Can you sing? -No.
- A little.

She can, why do say no?

All girls can sing.

Why do I say this? -Why?

You heard about the singer
Zizi Triffo? -No.

Well, who made her? -You.

You guessed right.
Why do I say this? -Yes?

I'll teach Yaeli a song

from the repertoire
of Zizi Triffo.

Now, you go to the
commander, you say,

Hello, commander. I'm glad
to inform you,

that a singer arrived from
Tel Aviv and she...

Out of the question.

Why not?
- Impossible.

Yaeli, you are going home!

I won't go...

Stop crying. You know what?

You know what? Affirmative.

No? Why not? -I said,
affirmative, alright.

Alright, say affirmative.

Sweetie!

Where to? -338. They told me
it's somewhere near here.

You are Constanza?
- You are Constanza.

Get out, the entrance
to civilians is forbidden.

Get me Talik on the phone,

tell him that Victor Hason
wants to go in.

Which Talik? -Colonel Talik
Brodik (Basketball player).

Really?!

I'll talk to Talik, he'll
promote you, gate keeper.

Go away.
- You'll be a house keeper.

Get out of here!

Nobody shuts
at Victor Hason.

I'll show you, you s.o.b.!

You'll see what I'll
tell in headquarters!

Wait!

Great! There you go, doll.
There you go, great.

She is nice. -Maniacs!

This unit is full
of maniacs. -Shamgar. -Yes.

This is Sergio Constanza.

Nice to meet you, Sergio
Constanza. -Salute!

Nice to meet you, sir.

Where were you 15 years?

You know how it is, sir. In
the French Riviera, Europe,

you wake up, have dinner
with Jaqueline.

Go to the pool, have a drink
with Eveline,

go to your room,
open the door,

Susan in a provoking pose.

Mr. Constanza? -Yes, sir?
- Are you laughing at me?

Jaqueline, Eveline.

What do you think
I am? Rummy?

I pass, sir.

This is the army,
don't mess around.

Gingi, tell this joker
what to do.

Yes, these...

No, these are confiscated.

Keep the change, sir.

Yes, Gingi,

where do we go now?

Sergio, as you see,

we are here at point 702, 707.

North of here is the sea,
known as Mediterranean.

East of here is Israel,
known as the State.

Israel, I know.

And to the West,
the egyptians.

Where are the egyptians?

In an Early warning station

three km from here.

Our job is to protect,
to observe,

to keep...

Never mind, Gingi, that is
secret. You are a radioman?

What? I'm an impresario,
Morse. -Morse!

I serve with the partisans,
with Tito.

Tito in Headquarters?
- No, in Yugoslavia.

He took a vacation,
the s.o.b. -Never mind,

take him
to the radio hut,

show him what
he has to know,

what he doesn't.

and get on with it

and get out of here.

Come with me.

Gingi, tell him about
the singer.

Shamgar, remember we asked
for entertainment? -Yes.

So, the entertainment
command sent us a singer.

Singer? Tell her to report
immediately to me.

That it, she doesn't want
to be bothered

until the end of the show.
Her request is fine.

But ask your maniacs to
leave her alone, Ok?

Affirmative. -No?
- Affirmative.

Alright, good for you, sir.

It's alright, go
to the radio hut.

After me.
- After him! See you, sir.

Here, honey. I'll repair you
in a moment.

It's alright. Have a good
time and get on with it.

Sir, can we start?

Sergio, get on with it.

Ladies and gentlemen!

Bon soir,
good morning.

I'll open with a series
of international jokes.

Paris. Hershale came one day
to the doctor, and said:

Doctor, my stomach is full
of gas.

He answers, you came
just in time,

fill the soda-maker!

Well... After we had
some laughs,

we get to the artistic part.

Permit me as an impresario
in civil life,

I was glad to meet
in army life,

a singer from the
first class, row 23,

folk singer, state dancer,

and acrobat of the
Occupied Territories!

Are you ready?

Ladies and gentlemen,
the Raging Sylvia!

"Why did you deceive me,

"The laundry doesn't help.

"They tell in Uganda,

"That I'm just a floozie.

"I finished the detergent

and the soap is gone too,

"But the stain in my heart
is never gone!

"I finished the detergent
and the soap is gone too,

"But the stain in my heart
is never gone!"

"Are you taking me
to the shower?

Now the hat.
Yes, like that.

"Wash my hair

"I finished the detergent
and the soap is gone too,

"But the stain in my heart
is never gone!

"I finished the detergent
and the soap is gone too,

"But the stain in my heart
is never gone!"

I finished the detergent
and the soap is gone too...

Sergio!

Mr. Hason is coming as
a tractor!

Tell Yaeli that her father
is coming here, hurry!

Sweetie, let's do
something else.

What's going on?

Where are you going?

We want Sylvia!
We want Sylvia!

Give me music for some
magic, please.

There you are, gentlemen. The
colors change as you can see.

And now, gentlemen, we are
going to have a sing-along.

I want everybody to sing
for the good of the morale.

Sergio! Sergio!

Victor, don't be crazy,
get me down!

Victor, get this thing down!

What about the debt?
- What debt? The money?

Of course, the money.

It will be alright, in 24 hours
it will be in your pocket.

24 Seconds, and even
that is too much.

Hey, you.
Yes, friend?

Come here.
- You come here.

Listen, you. -Yes.

If you don't come here,
I'll count to three

and you'll get a nasty
surprise.

I like surprises.

One.

You started
without telling.

Two.

You continue
without telling.

Action. -What...
Who gave the order?

What are you doing?
Come here...

I'll get you in an
inquiry commission!

You're in deep, Victor!
- You...

Let me go!

I'm warning you, believe me.

Gingi, call the Division
and tell them we caught a fish.

Sir, what about my leave?
- Not now, Jahnun,

get the shower down...
the... you know what I mean.

And return the vehicle
to HQ and see if...

Ask there if someone
lost a tractor.

And tell everyone that
everything is Ok.

Hey, Victor! You're in deep
shit! Good bye, Victor!

Deshe, this is Halfon,
do you copy?

Gingi, what is going on
out there?

Deshe, this is Halfon.

What are you doing to my
father?

Do you hear me? Over.

Answer me when I'm
talking to you.

What is this suppose to mean?

All this bule-bule?

Raging Sylvia! -What do you
want, Sergio gave it to me.

Sergio, he will pay
for this.

This is Deshe, over.

We caught a fish and wheels
in the net, over.

The commander is on his way
over there, over.

Gingi, they will send him
to jail.

Your father is
a certified loony.

Because of him, I will loose
the sergeant major.

If you don't cut him loose,
he will spoil everything.

How do want me to cut him
loose, what do want from me?

Talk to your commander.

No, he won't accept this.

Leave this to me.
- What do you mean?

I will take care of him.
- What do you mean?

Put something on.

Gingi, did you notify HQ?

Yes, the commander is
in a meeting

and will be here at one.

Alright, you are dismissed.

I said, dismissed.

So what, Sylvie? You dance?
Sing, entertain?

Gingi, dismissed.

Say, aren't you hot? -Very
hot. It's very hot here.

You probably aren't hot
with this outfit. Good fabric.

Why the israelis are always
in a hurry?

I'm not in a hurry.

I also know how to be late
when that's needed.

In Africa it's different.
The negroes are big.

Yes, they know how to do it.

How do they do it, Sylvia?

They dance.

They have a long spear
in their hand.

I know these dances,

I learned to dance with Sami.

African dances?

Hold the spear in your hand,
really tight.

This is a song.

They say, Bule-Bule,
where are you?

Bule-Bule, where are you?

No matter, Sergio.

The hand is opened and
the book is writing.

The wedding officer.
Sergeant Moked.

Mr. Hason, put on
this uniform.

What will I do
with a uniform?

Mr. Hason, please. The
brigade commander will come

and court-martial you in a
hurry and in absence

as a civilian in suspicious
circumstances...

Please, take this uniform,
it's your size.

How do you know my size?

The size of your big heart
is known everywhere.

Take this.

Shulka, come quickly, help
me get him out of here.

Give me a hand. Sergio,
give me a hand.

No, I have to go, I have an
appointment with HQ.

I have an appointment.

Mr. Hason, stop it.

He is completely crazy.
- Soldier, move.

Soldier! Leave me alone!
Let me go!

Mr. Hason, please.

Until this garbage does not
put 20,000 cash on my hand,

I'm not moving.

Look, Victor, there is no
problem with the money,

but I don't have the cash
right now.

You ignorant!

The Brigade commander
is here! Mr. Hason,

do me a favor,
put on the uniform

and go to the observation
post.

Thank you very much,
Mr. Hason.

I eat twenty like him
for breakfast.

Forget it, Victor,
we are joking.

Bule-Bule! Where are you?

Bule? Where are you? Bule?

My sweet.

Captain Shamgar,
do you remember me?

I'm your brigade
commander, Bondie.

This is not what you think.
- No need to apologize,

I understand. The heat, the
desert, the stress, the war.

Come with me.

Bondie, let me explain.
- Yes, yes.

Bule-Bule came here. -Yes,
Bule-Bule, I know.

She came here and taught me
to dance African dances.

She danced like the africans.

Gingi, tell him
it's Bule-Bule.

Do you want a sandwich, sir?

Get out.

Sir, I think this is
an acute case of schizo-babe.

I think we'll leave this
to the doctors.

In the meantime, gather
the men. -Yes.

Shuka! Shuka!

Nice balloons! When are you
going into town (also: blond)?

If I stay some more in
the sun, I will be more blond.

Nice, Waserman.

Hilik, Waserman!

Are you going? -Yes.
- See you.

Are you going to stay here?
- I don't know,

Maybe I'll go back with
the commander, I don't know.

Can you get me an interview
with the commander?

I have to talk to him.

What's the problem?
- I need to speak to him.

Wait, don't go,

what's your problem?

I've been here three weeks
without leave

and Waserman got 24 hours
and Hilik got 36 hours.

I understand. You are very
nervous, relax.

No problem, I'll get you
an appointment.

Can you?
- I can arrange an interview.

That's what I wanted,
I want to talk to him,

there are many problems here,
Yosifun in the kitchen...

It will be alright, Hilik.
- My name is Jahnun. -Jahnun.

You know that you are good
looking, Jahnun? -Me?

Attention!

Attention, Shuka!

I won't talk about what
happened to your commander.

So don't talk.

I'm sure that we all wish
him a speedy recovery.

In the meantime,
we have to go on.

Moked. -Yes, sir.

You will be the commander
until we send an officer.

No problem.

There is a problem.

I've been looking for
the water tank for an hour.

Mr. Hason, I asked you to
go to the observation post.

I went there, I looked
through the binoculars,

I didn't see anything,
so I went to the toilet.

Who is that? -Private Hason,
sir. -Hi, there.

Private Hason?
- Yes, what's up?

What's your job in the unit?

I'm under the recommendation
for sergeant.

Sergeant, sir. -No, you are
the sir, I'm recommended.

Alright. What do you do as a
sergeant? -Give an example.

What do you do if the
egyptians come here?

What we did in '56.

What did you do in '56?
- What we did in '48.

Nothing better than that.
- And what did you do in '48?

That was before 30 years,
who can remember.

Sir, I think we have a case
of helplessness

and distress

and I suggest that you let
him be, the others are Ok.

Yes? -Yes.

And who is this clown?

Sir, Sergio Constanza,
the radioman.

Sergio Constanza,
at your service, sir.

Salute, Sergio! -Yes, sir.

Don't believe him.
- Shut up, Victor.

Tell me. -Yes, sir.

The egyptians are getting
close to the post,

what message do you
radio out?

Radio out? -About the fact
they are getting close.

Who is? -The egyptians!

The egyptians?
- Yes, the egyptians.

I don't understand why they
would want to come here

in this heat. -Let's suppose
they are coming.

Suppose! So let's suppose
that I sent the message.

What do you think, sir?
Cigarette, sir?

Don't take the cigarette.

Throw a grenade.
Throw the grenade!

At whom?
- Throw it! -Where to?

At the Egyptians.
- The Egyptians?

Long live Israel! Hurray, Zahal!

"We will strengthen our
brothers..." (Partizan song)

Get up, jerk. This is how you
throw a grenade. Look,

First, you take out the pin,

you use force and take
the pin out,

now you take... How many
seconds do you count?

Three seconds, hurry up!

In '48 they counted more.
- Throw!

Where is everybody?

This mess cannot go on.
- Yes, sir.

Do you hear, I've been here
for three weeks,

Hilik got 24 hours,
and Shuka got 36 hours

and I'm here...

Malmilian is strong, ah?
- Malmilian? Great soccer player

I flew over the game
in Beer-Sheva on Saturday,

what a great show.

Cancel all leaves.
- Of course, sir.

Tomorrow, a night march.

Of course. -In a week, you'll
get shooting practice.

Bondie, why are you doing
this to me?

You've known me for years,
I'm not like that.

Relax, Shamgar,
nothing happened.

In a mess like this, any
commander would get sick.

Where is Hermona?
- She is updating facts,

she'll be back with
the supply track.

Hilik, I won't let you
forget this.

You'll pay dearly.

You and Waserman will begin
by erecting the tent again.

Gingi, I swear,
it wasn't me,

they did it, believe me.
- Jahnun.

I swear. -Jahnun,

First, you got 4 more hours
at the observation post.

Now.

Saturday leave, the tri-monthly
and the yearly.

But, Gingi... -Go!

Gingi, I want to talk to you
about something.

Listen, this whole thing was
their idea, they did this.

Get out of my sight!
- I didn't do anything. -Go!

I want to... -Go!

Victor, don't be crazy!
- Sergio,

I wasn't joking.
- Mr. Hason, please.

Mr. Hason, I beg you, go
home. -Yes, go home.

The request is denied until
the debt is returned.

He'll return it. -I swear on
my life, Victor.

When are you going to pay
him? -In 24 hours.

In 24 hours he'll pay up
the debt.

Now, go to Yosifun and tell
him you're on kitchen duty.

Yes! -Kitchen duty?
- Kitchen.

Are you Yosifun? -That's me.

I'm on kitchen duty. -As what?

As an expert on Shakshuka.

You are responsible
for the tomato as HESOF.

What's a HESOF?
- Head Salad Officer.

I was a HESOF when you were
still IYOMOW, sweetie.

What's IYOMOW?

In Your Mother's Womb.

Now I'm HEKOF-ALURA.

What's that? -That's Head
Kitchen Officer...

Who gives orders to Yosifun

and comes only to taste.
So? -So.

What can I tell you.
- It's written in the orders.

Yes? -Something new?
- Yes, brand new.

And you always
follow orders, ah?

The one that wrote the order
is standing right here.

If you wrote the order,
I refuse to comply.

Quickly, the oil.
- By all means.

What a mess!

What a mess, you are
going home now.

I won't go home.

You won't go, your father
won't do,

so who will go, Jahnun?!

Gingi, really, relax.

What will you do in your
honeymoon if you fight now?

Honeymoon? Vinegarmoon!
Her father won't give us

his consent until his older
daughter gets married.

Very nice. With all due
respect, Mr. Gingi,

I think that is a reasonable
consideration on his part.

On his part, maybe, but
she's unmarriageable.

There is no such thing!
Nobody is unmarriageable.

Every cork has a bottle,
every bucket has a mop.

Yes, every bucket has a mop.

Tell me, from what does
your sister suffer?

She's not ill. -How does
she look? How's her face?

Disaster Day.
- And the breasts?

Market Day. -And the
legs? -Halloween.

So the the bride
is very festive,

what she needs now is a
happy groom, right?

She is very nice. And
whoever marries her,

will receive the money that
father put in the mattress.

That's interesting.
Listen, sweetie,

I have here a small company

for young couples.

Double-Couple Ltd.

Sergio you asked, mistaken
alone, you won't be.

What I need now is this.
First, leave.

Forget it. -I forgot. Second,
you go to the telephone,

telephone your sister
and say,

hello dear sister,
this is Yaeli,

come quickly, we have
a surprise.

There aren't any surprises.
- Why not?

This isn't a match making
agency, it's the army.

Gingi.

You can't telephone
and do whatever you want.

But this is our last chance.

I don't want any chances,
this won't do any good,

I beg you, I ask you,
please, stop it.

Wait a minute, what's your
sister's name? -Stop.

Shifra. -Shifra! -Shifra,
yes. Shifra the best.

Lunch, first call!

Come on!

Please, start with table
number one.

For first course we have
chicken curried soup,

or a tomato stuffed
with liver and onions.

I want the tomato with
the curry, liver and onions.

Jahnun, don't you see
he is pulling your leg?

Yosifun, two first courses
to table number one.

Permit me to recommend
the main course.

We have osso-bucho
with rice and curry.

There you go, bon appetit.

Say, Jahnun, are you sure
we are in the army?

Can't you see?

Come on, guys, sit in table
number two.

Good work, Mr. Hason.
You are Ok.

Come, Waserman.
- Can we have some bread?

Yes, give them bread.
Bon appetit.

Very good work!

Will you leave' please?
- What do you mean?

Without a jacket, a tie and the
debt, you have to leave.

What are you talking about,
I'n in the army, yes?

You are in the Victoria
Regional Council. Please.

I don't want to leave...

I'm in the army,
I want to eat!

Sergio! -Victor! -Yosifun!
- Yosifun! Go to hell.

How is the food?
Bon appetit.

Your face looks like
my behind.

You'll pay me.

I win con you good.

This evening, come
a little earlier.

There is an excellent cold
plate. -Thank you.

Bon appetit.

Sergio! What?

Come, I spoke to Mr. Hason,
it's alright.

Do you think I need him?
His food?

Come and sit down.
- I'm not hungry at all.

Yosifun, bring Sergio's
main course.

What's this? Are you
laughing at me?

What's this book?

Every question has an
answer, by Itzhak Levanon.

Every question has an answer?
- Yes, by Itzhak Levanon.

- That's interesting.
If you want, I'll test you.

Do you want to test me?
- Yes. -Alright.

I'll ask you a question,

what's the capital of
Argentina?

What page?

What do you care, page 22.
- I haven't got to that page.

Ask me from page 20 down.

Who was the first president
of Israel? Haim Weitzman.

He is completely crazy.
The capital of Argentina

The capitol is...
Buenos Aires.

Maybe I can win the lottery

and travel around the world.
- You know something, Waserman?

I have an idea for you.

You want to travel around
the world? -Yes.

Tomorrow, a girl
will arrive here. -Yes.

She is beautiful,
with long hair and breasts.

I don't know her.
- I'll introduce you,

she will take you around
the world and back,

and when you come back,
you receive an apartment.

What do you say?
- Affirmative. -No?

He is crazy.
What do you think you are?

Look at you, I told you

I'll get a pretty girl
for you!

But he said, affirmative.

Alright, so say affirmative.
- Affirmative.

What's that? -Mig's.
Photographing.

Photo flight?

I won't let them photograph
me in working clothes.

If there's a war now,
I loose the business.

What business? -Nothing.
- What nothing, Sergio.

I got a permit to look
for oil here.

What oil, Sergio?

There's probably just sand
here. I got screwed up.

Where is it, Sergio?

Over there, 4 dunam, nothing.
- Where is it, Sergio?!

I told you, there's
nothing here.

Right and left, just
sand and sewage.

Really, Sergio, there's no
oil here, just sand.

Victor, what can I say,

I paid 25,000 pounds
for this.

25,000? That's crazy,
I wouldn't invest one pound.

Let's go. -One thousand
pounds for the place?

What do you need the sand for?

I have a friend in
Switzerland,

he manufactures sand clocks,

I'll send him a gift.

You have free sand
all around.

This sand is good for him,

awakening sand,
exact sand.

I don't know.

20,000 Pounds, wipe out
the debt?

Are you crazy?

What about the debt?
You found money on trees?

Well, 1,500, can I have it?

If you want to pay 20,000,
pay 20,000, what can I say.

You have a paper for
the transfer of a dune?

Yes, I have the contract
right here, wait a minute.

I'll read this.

Do you have a pen?
- I also have a pen.

The family of the groom...
- Where do we sign?

No, that party A.

Sergio, please.
That's party A, that's B.

What party do you want?
- Party A.

Then come here, stand here.

Get out before I break
your bones.

Well, Victor, how are things
with the swiss sand?

Swiss sand? You better start
inquiring about stock

in "Victor Oil Company Ltd."
- Really.

Yes, you can read about it
in the sunday paper.

I hope it will published
in the Nostra (Rumanian News).

Nostra, really!

"The oil flows
in Victor's Field,

"Like in Kuwait, Saudi
Arabia and Algeria."

Honey! What are you
doing tonight?

I'm sorry, you are late,
I've already got a date

with the commander, you
know, the Bule-Bule.

See you, Victor.

Sergio? -Yes, dear, did you
speak with your sister?

Yes, she'll come tomorrow.
- Great, I'm glad.

Sergio? -Yes, dear?
- I can't resist anymore.

I can't either, sweetie.
- I have to go out.

Where do have to go,
sweetie? -To the toilet.

To the toilet!

I can't go out! -Why?
- Because my father is there!

Your father! That's true.
Maybe you can wear my robe.

"I remember from yesteryears
when there was only sand...

"And she climbed up the hill
to install the pipes...

"Hanna got suddenly
mixed up..."

Honey! Wash my back.

"Hanna... got mixed up,

"And found gas...
oil...solar...

"It has to be refined, maybe
the profit is smaller,

"But I have to refine
it twice...

"You have to wait
for a short moment,

"Then it flows up to the sky

"the oil from the pipes.

"I'll come and say
good evening..."

Yaeli!

Yaeli! Yaeli!

Yaeli! Yaeli!
What are you doing?

What happened, Victor?
- Sergio. -I saw Yaeli.

Who's Yaeli? -My little
daughter. -Your daughter, here?

It can't be, right?

Victor, relax.
Open your mouth, say Aahhh.

This explains everything.
- What does it explain?

I studied medicine
for three years

but I'm not certified. You
are certified, Sergio, speak!

This is what is called
in medicine,

you got hit by the sun.
Sun stroke? -Exactly.

You... you heard about
fata-morgana? -No.

It's like this, you see what
you think you see,

but you don't see what you
really think. You understand?

This happened before?
- It happened many times.

What can be done,
Sergio, tell me.

The best thing
is a sand bath.

A bath in the sand?

Well, Victor, how do you
feel? -Extraordinary, Sergio.

Much better. Now take
this pill,

it will do a complete
renovation of your head.

Sergio, maybe there
is something else?

Sergio! What are you doing?
That's quick sand,

he might disappear in there.
Sergio! Sergio!

Victor, where are you going?

Mr. Hason! Can you hear me?

Victor, it was only a joke!

Mr. Hason! Can you hear me?

Make a sign if can hear me.
- Hello is Ok?

At least you could put
a sign, "Quick Sand",

that's the minimum you
can expect.

Victor, get back
to the observation post.

Sergio! Get back
to the observation post.

Hilik, prepare the watch
detail for tonight,

the password today
is "Moses is happy".

I can't go on.

"Let us put our heads
on a dune,

"Let the muses shout,

"Let us rest here,

"Let Zahal be honored.

"So let us put our heads
on a dune,

"Let the muses shout,

"Let us rest here,

"Let Zahal be honored.

"Wars abound here,

"Problems are plentiful,

"So between a missile
and a rocket,

"Let us relax a bit
in the shade.

"So, let us put our
heads on a dune,

"Let the muses shout,

"Let us rest here,

"Let Zahal be honored.

"The pen rips the paper,

"When I dream about you,

"And a tear of longing

"Shines in my eyes.

"Let us put our heads
on a dune,

"Let the muses shout,

"Let us rest here,

"Let Zahal be honored.

"Don't say, among the tanks,

"Outside, among the canons,

"That the guys are having
a good time here,

"You might wake up
the neighbors.

"So, let us, -Let us put our
head on a dune,

"Let the muses shout,

"Let us rest here,

"Let Zahal be honored.

"So, let us put our head
on a dune,

"Let the muses shout,

"Let us rest here,
Let Zahal be honored."

Well, Waserman?

No, she gives me a
toothache. -Really?

Gingi! Come quick! Hurry up!

What happened? -Look!

Do you see what I see? -He
crossed the border.

What are the plans
for today?

I thought maybe we could
surprise the guys

with a yogurt, eggs over
easy and a salad.

What's the main course?

Why don't we pamper
the stomach with a good mullet?

The sea here is great.
- But the guys are so lazy,

they only go to the gate,
and not even that.

I've been looking for
the sea for an entire hour.

You are crazy.

They haven't learnt to put
up a little sign, "Sea".

Where to?

Take me to the beach,
please.

At home, I don't end the day

Thank you very much.

without at least two hours
on the pier.

I'm going, I'll be back with
the main course.

Golani unit? -Gammasi
(Egyptian Chief of Staff).

Be careful not to cross the
border, it's right there.

Gingi, what happened?
- Never mind.

Sergio!

What is it, Gingi?
- Come here. -Where?

Come here!
- Can't you see I'm busy?

Sergio, come on, we are in
trouble! -What happened?

Ciao, bambina! -Ciao.

Listen, Mr. Hason...

Forget the first
installment. -Get out!

Mr. Hason crossed the border
and was taken prisoner.

Really. -We have to free
him, Sergio.

This is 338?
- Yes, this is 338.

That's very bad,
when is he coming back?

When is he coming back?
If at all, in the year 2000.

You are Shifra! -Yes.
I'm pleased to meet you.

Wait, why don't you speak
with your commander? -Who?

That one, what's his name...
- The officer?! -Yes.

Forget it, if he frees
him, he will jail me

Sergio Constanza. -Yes.

for recruiting a civilian
in vane.

We've been waiting for you
for a long time.

Wait a minute. -What do
we do, Sergio?

Do you see
the tent there? -Yes.

Did you hear about the UN?
- Yeah.

Drive to that tent, Yaeli is
waiting for you there.

Why don't you speak with
what's his name, the swede?

Yes. -Alright? See you,
sweetie. -See you.

Who? -The blond,
the belgian!

Who? -The one from Denmark,
Silaswoe. Waldheim!

Silaswoe. -Operation Waldheim!

It happens.

A good thing you don't have
a license to drive a truck.

Shifra!
You look great!

Yeah? A lot of hitchhikers
asked what do I do tonight.

Did you shower? Did you comb
your hair? -Yes.

What did you put
on your hair?!

It's natural.

Stand behind me
and shut up. Affirmative?

Yaeli, let's go.
- Shifra, good luck.

What happened to Nasser?

That's Saadat.

I know, I just wanted
to see if I know.

Leave it!

Where is she?
Hello, Shifra.

Permit me, in my name
and that of my friends,

to award you the prize
for careful driving.

Nobody. I just went to get
a few mullets

After we laughed, let's move
on to the serious part.

for lunch. -Mullets?

Shifra, sweetie, permit me to
introduce you to a nice guy,

Grey mullets. -Grey mullets?
- Enough!

no mullets, just say it. -The
Israeli intelligence sent you

from a good family,
very festive.

What's their job?
- They are listening.

His father was one of
the water founding fathers,

Where are they?
- In area code "busy".

really a good guy.
Very good looking.

So why didn't you bring him?

Not bad!

Who, Waserman?

What do you want to drink?
Coffee? Tea? -Coffee.

Waserman! There he is.
Introduce yourselves.

Attalah, two coffees.

Nice to meet you. -Idiot.

Give me your hand.
Well, young couple,

you have 10 minutes and 20
questions after the bip.

What are you doing,
are you crazy?!

Bip! Good luck, Waserman.
Go for it.

What are you?

That the way
to make coffee?!

Attalah, bring the stove.

Jahnun, let's go over
everything.

UN jeep? -Yes.
Grades? -Yes.

Point seven? -Yes.
Swede girl? -Yo.

There's no more color,
I dipped in plaster.

Really, how can I wear this?

It's Ok, it's an armored
shirt. -That's it.

Hilik, you are insane.

Waserman!

Gingi, maybe you can
leave me here,

Well, it goes well, ah?
Stupid!

I think I'm not feeling
very well.

I think that you feel
very well.

What did I do?
- What did you do? Nothing!

Yes, dear, why don't
we go already.

You sit there in silence
like a fish.

Why did I say fish, a fish
is a musical next to you!

What did you want me to do?

What do I want?

Yosifun! Do something!

You show her your teeth.
Are you a gynecologist?

You played with your teeth,
Waserman?

Shut up, Gingi! Let me work.
Look carefully. I'll go in

and you'll see the system
in 2 installments.

Slowly, slowly!

Then I go out, you go in
and pay the first installment.

Remember, Sergio you ask,
a girl for life you...

Ciao, sweetie. Write!

Just don't send the letters
via the army,

Sergio you ask, a girl
for life you...

Move already!

they steal the stamps.

Shifra, sweetie!

Go!

Give me your hand. -Why?

Give me your hand, don't ask
questions. Give me your hand!

Feel how my heart dances
foxtrot for you. -Why?

Just because, Shifra,
sweetie.

Victor, I don't remember
such a good coffee

Shifra!

Your mountains are like the
storms that flows from the...

since they closed the
Mansour Restaurant.

Danube. And your eyes
are like... -What a nudge!

They closed the Mansour
Restaurant? -Mansour died.

Died? -Wait, how do you
know Mansour?

Mansour? Mansour and I had
a ball in Alexandria

And your cheeks are like...

when you were still IYOMOW!
Where do you live?

Al-Safah street. Al-Safah?!
An officer like you there?

Sergio. -What, sweetie?

Why don't you get a mortgage
and move a bit north?

Who am I, Rothchild?

Sergio, it's me.
- Who is it? -Me.

Rothchild...
If you were Rothchild....

What do you want?
- It's alright.

What's alright? -I got
the system. -What system?

The system for
quick conquests.

What are you talking about?

Give me your hand.

Right in the aching tooth.

Get out, maniac!
Go bite Gingi!

"Stop! Check point!"

Do have documents?

Gingi, whack him.

UN. -Yes.

Everything is expensive.

Now, we to have VAT.

I'm Colonel Hammershlag.
And this is Major...

Bergman. -Bergman.

The israeli soldiers send us
to change the israeli...

soldier and the egyptian
soldier. Change.

How did Muhamad arrive
to the israelis?

Bergman? -Yes. -Report
the B.S. of the guards.

Mr. Hason, we came to free
you. Did you have lunch?

Yes, we had.
- Yosifun prepared something?

Thank you very much.

You see, at 9 o'clock A.M
arrived this soldier to

Israel and asked for a 4 room
apartment in Kiriat Malachi.

They offered him 3 rooms
in Rishon LeZion.

Yes. And the soldier got
nervous. And start shooting.

So the israelis took
him to UN post. -Post? -Yes.

Mr. Bergman. -Yes, sir.
Come here, please.

Thank you.

Hands up. -Hands up, yes.

No fire!

Silaswoe, good friend.
- I know.

Made in swedish. -Maybe you
want a watch, Fuji.

35 Stones, very good.

Let's see. Soldier, come.

Erik! -Sergio, how are you?
- Fine, fine.

Tell this officer that we're
soldiers. -Their my soldiers.

Yes? -Of course. Hamid!

I'm sorry.

We must go because
the israeli wait for us.

Thank you very much.
- See you.

Erik, see you in my club.
You know, Jaqueline.

Give my regards to Sana, and
come visit for the holidays.

And don't forget. Coffee,
a minute before it boils,

take it of the stove.

Good bye, Victor.

The Jews are running away!

Gingi is coming this way,
goes left, changes gear,

changes gear again,
this a special fare,

and with a great push,
they are here,

they have arrived!

Sergio. -What happened?
- Let go! -What happened?

Let me be!
Let go! -What do you want?

You sold me an empty dune!

Let go of Shifra!

You have to thank me that
I saved you from the arabs.

Bule-Bule, where are you?

My field! -Mine.

Shifra, we are rich!

"If the oil flows suddenly,
miracle of miracles,

"Open a big account
in the bank and retire.

"If everything ends up alright

"Take off your hat, and
thank the Reserves.

"Zahal, Zahal we are coming,
we run to the Reserves,

"If someone call us from
the bank or the IRS,

"We answer in our code,

"Halfon Hill
doesn't answer."

Oil, Oil!

Sergio, help sell it.

Five o'clock in the morning,
even the birds are sleeping.

Why don't we accept the
offer from Rabinowitz?

Sergio, believe me, alone,
without partners.

Can after can after can.
- We'll end up in the can.

Shut up and yell, alright?

To Sergio you go,
oil you got.

Every octane is better
than the other.

Every octane is great,
the oil is cheap.