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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,583 --> 00:00:13,417 When a man turns 40, he begins to take measure of himself. 2 00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:15,792 I must admit I don't like what I see. 3 00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:17,917 You're turning 43. 4 00:00:20,291 --> 00:00:23,208 If you don't mind, I'm trying to appear vulnerable 5 00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:27,166 to facilitate my snorkeling up your thigh bone later. 6 00:00:28,208 --> 00:00:31,750 Alan, you boyfriend, me girlfriend. 7 00:00:32,458 --> 00:00:33,667 You have a season's pass. 8 00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:38,625 You're ruining the conquest part, which is all it's really about for me. 9 00:00:38,709 --> 00:00:39,750 Really? 10 00:00:40,458 --> 00:00:42,542 Well, how about a little play-acting, then? 11 00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:45,500 Only if this time, I get to be the sheep. 12 00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:49,959 I'm gonna sit over there and pretend to be alone. 13 00:00:51,083 --> 00:00:53,000 And you're gonna approach me, being the stranger that you are, 14 00:00:53,083 --> 00:00:53,917 and conquest me. 15 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,458 -Don't be silly. -No. 16 00:00:55,542 --> 00:00:58,875 I'd like to see how you operate, Mr. Shore. 17 00:01:17,375 --> 00:01:18,583 How you doing? 18 00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:20,417 Fine, thank you. 19 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:21,959 I'm Joe. 20 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:23,750 I'm with somebody. 21 00:01:25,125 --> 00:01:26,291 Who? 22 00:01:26,375 --> 00:01:28,417 Hello, I'm a complete stranger. 23 00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:29,875 And I'm here to pick you up. 24 00:01:32,542 --> 00:01:34,917 Oh, I see. There's two of us. 25 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,000 I'll be evens, you be odds. 26 00:01:37,083 --> 00:01:38,667 You got a problem? 27 00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:40,166 No, actually. 28 00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:44,125 I just saw this fair maiden here, talking to a tree trunk. 29 00:01:44,208 --> 00:01:47,166 And since I'm an arborist, I thought I could help translate. 30 00:01:47,792 --> 00:01:49,542 Here's a health tip... 31 00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:51,166 walk away. 32 00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:52,792 -Why would I do that? -All right, guys. 33 00:01:52,875 --> 00:01:55,458 Don't be deceived by my cushy appearance. 34 00:01:55,542 --> 00:01:58,458 Excuse me. I actually am with him. 35 00:01:58,542 --> 00:01:59,583 I don't care. 36 00:01:59,667 --> 00:02:02,250 Walk away, or I lay you out. 37 00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:06,000 I don't mean to be a stickler, but isn't the object to lay her out? 38 00:02:06,625 --> 00:02:07,917 Hey! 39 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,000 Oh, jee, I'm sorry, I was reaching for my wallet. 40 00:02:11,959 --> 00:02:12,875 I see. 41 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,250 Allow me to reach for mine. 42 00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:21,041 -Are you all right? -Fine. 43 00:02:21,792 --> 00:02:23,500 Hello, big people. 44 00:02:23,583 --> 00:02:26,500 Sorry to intrude, but you seem rather strapping. 45 00:02:26,583 --> 00:02:31,000 Here's 300 dollars. Would you be so kind as to go hit that man down there? 46 00:02:33,417 --> 00:02:34,417 Really? 47 00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:35,333 Alan. 48 00:02:35,417 --> 00:02:37,125 There's an extra 100 if he goes down. 49 00:02:37,208 --> 00:02:38,750 Yeah. 50 00:02:38,834 --> 00:02:40,500 -You're on. -Go. 51 00:02:40,583 --> 00:02:41,917 Make it a good one. 52 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,250 Oh, for God's sakes. 53 00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,667 Yeah, yeah, yeah! 54 00:02:56,625 --> 00:02:58,709 Here's 100, go help your friend. 55 00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:07,125 Jee, it seems Joe has buddies. 56 00:03:07,208 --> 00:03:09,959 One for you, one for you. 57 00:03:10,041 --> 00:03:11,458 I got plenty of them. 58 00:03:13,417 --> 00:03:14,542 Hit them hard now. 59 00:03:14,625 --> 00:03:16,208 For you and for you. 60 00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:05,625 You don't think the evening was slightly symptomatic of something? 61 00:04:05,709 --> 00:04:08,375 You take me to a college frat bar, and you start a fight. 62 00:04:08,458 --> 00:04:10,542 -I did not start it. -You certainly did start it. 63 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:12,083 Alan, wonderful news. 64 00:04:12,166 --> 00:04:14,208 The Kerwin deposition has been canceled. 65 00:04:14,291 --> 00:04:15,125 You don't have to go. 66 00:04:15,208 --> 00:04:17,583 Your morning is now free. Which works out 67 00:04:17,667 --> 00:04:20,875 because it seems these two police officers are here to arrest you. 68 00:04:20,959 --> 00:04:21,834 Are you Alan Shore? 69 00:04:22,625 --> 00:04:24,792 My, aren't you clever? 70 00:04:24,875 --> 00:04:27,417 I bet you make detective one day. 71 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:29,583 Was my calling him "Alan" a clue? 72 00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:33,458 -Please place your hands behind your back. -Why? 73 00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:35,709 Sir, please. You're under arrest 74 00:04:35,792 --> 00:04:37,500 for conspiracy to commit assault and battery. 75 00:04:37,583 --> 00:04:39,166 You have the right to remain silent. 76 00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:42,625 You have it all memorized. Aren't you the spiffy jiffy? 77 00:04:43,792 --> 00:04:45,125 And a sharp dresser. 78 00:04:46,291 --> 00:04:47,959 You have the right to an attorney. 79 00:04:48,041 --> 00:04:49,917 If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you... 80 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,750 Not to worry, dear. I'll cancel the rest of your day. 81 00:05:04,709 --> 00:05:07,208 {\an8}-And in an unprecedented, if not bizarre move, 82 00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:09,333 {\an8}the selectmen of Summersport, Massachusetts, 83 00:05:09,417 --> 00:05:12,667 {\an8}a small south shore town population of 18,000, 84 00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:16,083 voted six to two yesterday to ban red meat. 85 00:05:16,166 --> 00:05:21,500 {\an8}As of midnight, it is now illegal to serve or sell beef within the township. 86 00:05:21,583 --> 00:05:25,542 {\an8}Mayor George Bostwick calling the law a health and safety regulation. 87 00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:27,417 God, health and safety. 88 00:05:27,834 --> 00:05:30,083 Did they not call a town meeting to discuss this? 89 00:05:30,166 --> 00:05:33,000 {\an8}Well, they did. And nobody really took it that seriously. 90 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:34,834 {\an8}But the mayor controls the selectmen, 91 00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:37,917 {\an8}and this is exactly the publicity he's hoping to buy. 92 00:05:38,875 --> 00:05:41,083 {\an8}In the meantime, my steak house is out of business. 93 00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:43,166 {\an8}How can you ban red meat? 94 00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:45,125 {\an8}-Well, they got a whole campaign they're gonna go with it. 95 00:05:45,208 --> 00:05:48,125 {\an8}They plan to promote Summersport as the seafood capital of the world. 96 00:05:48,208 --> 00:05:49,917 We're carnivores. 97 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,166 When the pilgrims landed, 98 00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:52,834 the first thing they did was eat a few Indians. 99 00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:57,375 -Is there anything we can do? -We'll get an immediate TRO. 100 00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:58,875 I'll argue it myself. 101 00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:02,625 "Ban red meat." That cannot pass constitutional mustard. 102 00:06:03,291 --> 00:06:06,166 The word is "muster," Denny. But you're right. 103 00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:07,458 The law lacks condiments. 104 00:06:07,542 --> 00:06:10,291 Let's mark up a motion and get going, and let's do it in Suffolk. 105 00:06:10,375 --> 00:06:13,125 {\an8}We should contact the owners of the other affected restaurants, 106 00:06:13,208 --> 00:06:14,333 {\an8}and have them join us. 107 00:06:17,375 --> 00:06:19,333 "32744. 108 00:06:19,417 --> 00:06:23,291 Commonwealth versus Alan Shore, conspiracy to commit battery." 109 00:06:23,667 --> 00:06:26,083 Tara Wilson for the defendant, Your Honor. We'll waive reading. 110 00:06:26,166 --> 00:06:27,875 I shouldn't think there'll be any question of bail. 111 00:06:27,959 --> 00:06:28,834 What have we got here? 112 00:06:28,917 --> 00:06:31,125 He, uh, paid some guys in a bar to assault another guy. 113 00:06:31,208 --> 00:06:33,125 Judge, the guy insulted my honor. 114 00:06:33,208 --> 00:06:35,875 I was required by the Canons of Bar Room Conduct to respond. 115 00:06:35,959 --> 00:06:39,166 This being America, I simply enlisted unsuspecting warriors 116 00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:41,000 who had no idea what I was getting them into. 117 00:06:41,083 --> 00:06:42,417 Was anybody hurt? 118 00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:43,750 {\an8}Cuts and bruises. 119 00:06:43,834 --> 00:06:45,125 {\an8}There was some damage to the bar. 120 00:06:45,208 --> 00:06:47,000 {\an8}My suggestion is we admit to sufficient facts 121 00:06:47,083 --> 00:06:48,834 {\an8}so you'll continue it without a finding. 122 00:06:48,917 --> 00:06:51,417 My client makes full restitution to the bar. 123 00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:52,583 That's not gonna fly. 124 00:06:52,667 --> 00:06:54,709 {\an8}It was self-defense. Mr. Shore was hit. 125 00:06:54,792 --> 00:06:57,542 {\an8}That fact that he hired others to do the hitting back doesn't preclude-- 126 00:06:57,625 --> 00:07:00,583 You want a "not guilty," counsel, you need a trial. 127 00:07:00,667 --> 00:07:01,875 We could do it today. 128 00:07:02,875 --> 00:07:04,291 You're ready to proceed now? 129 00:07:04,875 --> 00:07:06,667 I'll stipulate to all the facts in the police report, 130 00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:09,125 though I must take issue with some of the spelling. 131 00:07:10,959 --> 00:07:13,291 {\an8}If he stips to the facts, I could be ready tomorrow. 132 00:07:13,375 --> 00:07:17,208 {\an8}Jury trial, of course. I can provide the court with a list of my closest peers. 133 00:07:17,291 --> 00:07:21,875 I leave for Aspen on Wednesday. So we will complete this in one day. 134 00:07:21,959 --> 00:07:23,166 Ten o'clock tomorrow. 135 00:07:23,250 --> 00:07:26,625 {\an8}The defendant is released on personal recognizance. 136 00:07:26,709 --> 00:07:27,709 Mr. Shore. 137 00:07:28,959 --> 00:07:33,417 {\an8}It would be a big mistake to come in here thinking this is funny. 138 00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:39,041 {\an8}You mean it's not funny? 139 00:07:45,083 --> 00:07:47,000 You cannot just ban red meat. 140 00:07:47,083 --> 00:07:49,417 Any municipality can pass reasonable health regulations. 141 00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:51,417 Yes, let's just pause on that word "reasonable." 142 00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:53,750 Many towns are dry, forbidding the sale of alcohol. 143 00:07:53,834 --> 00:07:55,667 There is an enormous difference between the sale-- 144 00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:57,458 {\an8}Hold on one second, Miss Schmidt. 145 00:07:58,083 --> 00:08:00,417 {\an8}In my courtroom, we allow counsel to finish their thoughts. 146 00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:02,709 {\an8}-We do not-- If I could interrupt. 147 00:08:02,792 --> 00:08:05,959 {\an8}The author of this particular and preposterous legislation 148 00:08:06,041 --> 00:08:09,208 happens to be both politically ambitious and a glutton for publicity, 149 00:08:09,291 --> 00:08:12,166 which this new law, funny thing, happens to be generating. 150 00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:14,542 Red meat poses legitimate health concerns. 151 00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:16,417 So do overzealous elected officials. 152 00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:18,166 We don't just ban them. If only we could. 153 00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:20,250 Now, I shall do the interrupting. 154 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:23,542 If nothing else, I pride myself on being a conscientious fact finder. 155 00:08:23,625 --> 00:08:25,000 Oh, brother. 156 00:08:26,583 --> 00:08:28,333 Mr. Crane, did you say something? 157 00:08:28,917 --> 00:08:31,375 It's a stupid law. Overturn it. Be a man. 158 00:08:34,291 --> 00:08:37,750 Mr. Crane was trying to be helpful. Apparently, he did not succeed. 159 00:08:37,834 --> 00:08:41,542 {\an8}What is the reason, specifically for your client banning the sale of red meat? 160 00:08:41,625 --> 00:08:44,583 Bovine spongiform encephalopathy. 161 00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:48,834 Mad cow disease. 162 00:08:48,917 --> 00:08:50,458 We're fearful of an outbreak. 163 00:08:50,542 --> 00:08:52,041 {\an8}-In Summersport? Everywhere. 164 00:08:52,125 --> 00:08:53,250 That's ridiculous. 165 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,583 Very well, we shall hold an evidentiary hearing. 166 00:08:55,667 --> 00:08:57,458 First person I shall hear from is the mayor. 167 00:08:57,542 --> 00:09:00,875 Then, Miss Schmidt, if you so desire, I shall listen to your client. 168 00:09:00,959 --> 00:09:02,375 Until then, we are adjourned. 169 00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:03,834 Put on a dress. 170 00:09:05,959 --> 00:09:06,875 Two o'clock! 171 00:09:11,917 --> 00:09:13,792 What are you doing? 172 00:09:13,875 --> 00:09:15,875 I know this judge. I know where his buttons are. 173 00:09:15,959 --> 00:09:17,542 Research shows, Denny, 174 00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:21,500 it's not wise to antagonize the people whose favor you're trying to court. 175 00:09:21,583 --> 00:09:23,875 Oh, come on, Shirley. You still antagonize me. 176 00:09:23,959 --> 00:09:26,834 And we both know what's really going on, don't we? 177 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,875 You sweet man. 178 00:09:32,792 --> 00:09:35,750 It's been a long time since you hit my button. 179 00:09:37,166 --> 00:09:39,750 I doubt you'd even know where to find it. 180 00:09:42,375 --> 00:09:44,125 Just a matter of time, Shirley. 181 00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:45,959 Just a matter of time. 182 00:09:48,834 --> 00:09:50,750 This doesn't involve you, man, it's sexual. 183 00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:54,333 I thought you said the judge would strike the law down. 184 00:09:54,417 --> 00:09:56,083 I just got a little tougher, Dominick. 185 00:09:56,208 --> 00:09:58,458 They played the mad cow card. 186 00:10:12,208 --> 00:10:14,208 Sometimes a mayor has to do what's right, 187 00:10:14,291 --> 00:10:15,583 even if it isn't popular. 188 00:10:15,667 --> 00:10:17,208 Red meat presents risks... 189 00:10:17,291 --> 00:10:19,458 ...which I, as the guardian of my constituency, 190 00:10:19,542 --> 00:10:21,417 am unwilling to assume. 191 00:10:22,250 --> 00:10:26,208 Legislation is capricious on its face. That'll be our only comment at this time. 192 00:10:26,291 --> 00:10:27,500 Pop goes the weasel. 193 00:10:27,583 --> 00:10:28,959 How are you? Denny Crane. 194 00:10:29,041 --> 00:10:30,667 Still cuckoo for cuckoo puffs. 195 00:10:31,375 --> 00:10:33,834 Who's your daddy? Denny crane. 196 00:10:33,917 --> 00:10:35,125 Pop goes the weasel. 197 00:10:36,875 --> 00:10:40,291 Simply put, I don't think we can guarantee the safety of beef. 198 00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:41,333 Why not? 199 00:10:41,458 --> 00:10:43,834 Well, for starters, we just lifted the ban on Canadian cattle, 200 00:10:43,917 --> 00:10:47,375 where mad cow disease was just found again. 201 00:10:48,667 --> 00:10:51,250 The percentage of mad cow in Canada is statistically... 202 00:10:51,333 --> 00:10:52,959 But, but why take chances? 203 00:10:53,041 --> 00:10:58,250 Consider this disease, it's incurable, it rots the brain, it's invariably fatal. 204 00:10:58,333 --> 00:11:00,208 And it's a painful death. 205 00:11:00,291 --> 00:11:04,208 But our government has assured us there's absolutely no danger in this. 206 00:11:04,291 --> 00:11:06,792 Our government is pro-beef. Are you kidding? 207 00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:09,709 In the last five years, the agriculture business 208 00:11:09,792 --> 00:11:13,208 has donated 140 million dollars 209 00:11:13,291 --> 00:11:16,000 to congressional and presidential candidates. 210 00:11:16,083 --> 00:11:18,959 Fast-food chains, the Cattlemen's Beef Association, you name it. 211 00:11:19,041 --> 00:11:20,417 They've all given big bucks. 212 00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:22,250 But the Department of Agriculture says-- 213 00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:25,458 Oh, please, the USDA's in the meat industry's back pocket. 214 00:11:25,542 --> 00:11:27,250 What evidence do you have of that? 215 00:11:27,333 --> 00:11:28,500 You want evidence? 216 00:11:28,583 --> 00:11:30,750 How about the last Secretary of Agriculture 217 00:11:30,834 --> 00:11:35,125 appointed meat industry advocates to top jobs at the USDA? 218 00:11:35,208 --> 00:11:40,375 How about the secretary's former chief of staff used to be the chief lobbyist 219 00:11:40,458 --> 00:11:43,500 for the National Cattlemen's Beef Association? 220 00:11:44,041 --> 00:11:45,500 The USDA has been bought. 221 00:11:45,583 --> 00:11:47,125 Pretty strong words, Mr. Bostwick. 222 00:11:47,208 --> 00:11:50,375 -Oprah got sued for saying less. -Well, what does that tell you? 223 00:11:50,458 --> 00:11:51,750 The meat industry gets to sue 224 00:11:51,834 --> 00:11:53,709 a talk show host for putting down a hamburger? 225 00:11:53,792 --> 00:11:55,875 Free speech doesn't apply when it comes to beef? 226 00:11:55,959 --> 00:11:59,542 Well, certainly, the USDA has an interest in making meat safe? 227 00:11:59,625 --> 00:12:01,417 But they have a double mandate, Your Honor. 228 00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:04,083 And while one may be to keep beef safe, 229 00:12:04,166 --> 00:12:07,875 the other, the bigger one, is to promote the sale of American meat. 230 00:12:07,959 --> 00:12:12,166 You think there's a real interest in this country in rooting out mad cow disease? 231 00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:13,542 -It's don't ask, don't tell. -Objection! 232 00:12:13,625 --> 00:12:17,583 This past April, a cow stumbled and fell in Texas. 233 00:12:17,667 --> 00:12:20,542 The vets suspected a central nervous system disorder. 234 00:12:20,625 --> 00:12:23,250 That animal should have been tested. It wasn't. 235 00:12:23,333 --> 00:12:25,875 It was quickly slaughtered and put into pig feed. Why? 236 00:12:25,959 --> 00:12:29,208 Because, God forbid, we discover mad cow disease. 237 00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:31,834 It'd cost billions and billions of dollars. 238 00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:33,000 Well, I'm not gonna wait. 239 00:12:33,083 --> 00:12:35,333 If that gets me sued, so be it. 240 00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:43,458 How many people in this country have been afflicted 241 00:12:43,542 --> 00:12:45,959 with the human strain of mad cow disease? 242 00:12:46,041 --> 00:12:47,375 -I don't plan to-- -To wait, yes. 243 00:12:47,458 --> 00:12:48,834 -How many? -We don't know. 244 00:12:48,917 --> 00:12:51,125 There have been no confirmed cases. 245 00:12:51,250 --> 00:12:52,667 According to some scientists, 246 00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:56,208 many people we think have Alzheimer's could, in fact, be sick from mad cow. 247 00:12:56,291 --> 00:12:58,417 -Are you a scientist, sir? -No. 248 00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:00,750 Before you became mayor, what was your occupation? 249 00:13:00,834 --> 00:13:02,041 I owned auto dealerships. 250 00:13:02,125 --> 00:13:03,542 You were a car salesman. 251 00:13:04,125 --> 00:13:08,417 Given that three million people are killed or injured on our roads every year, 252 00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,959 -do you also plan to ban automobiles? -No. 253 00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:14,041 What about salmonella? Any plans to criminalize chickens? 254 00:13:14,125 --> 00:13:15,625 People don't die from chickens or-- 255 00:13:15,709 --> 00:13:17,125 What about mercury in fish? 256 00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:19,000 It's a concern. 257 00:13:19,083 --> 00:13:21,250 But, again, I made a judgment as mayor. 258 00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:24,000 And the selectmen concurred that the dangers of beef-- 259 00:13:24,083 --> 00:13:29,375 Have you any personal political ambitions beyond that of being mayor of Summersport? 260 00:13:29,458 --> 00:13:31,375 I'm not trying to get headlines, if that's what you're saying. 261 00:13:31,458 --> 00:13:34,041 I didn't say that, but funny you did. 262 00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:36,583 Have you got anything? 263 00:13:39,041 --> 00:13:41,875 You would agree, Mr. Mayor, that by and large, 264 00:13:41,959 --> 00:13:43,417 vegetarians are communists. 265 00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:45,083 I certainly would not. 266 00:13:45,166 --> 00:13:46,709 We're at war, Mr. Bostwick. 267 00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:50,083 Think we can win that war if we suddenly say to our soldiers, "no more meat"? 268 00:13:50,166 --> 00:13:53,166 Think a nation of fish-eaters can protect the world, you wimp? 269 00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:55,625 -Objection. -Withdrawn. Nothing further. 270 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:56,709 "Wimp." 271 00:13:56,792 --> 00:13:59,125 What the hell are you doing? 272 00:14:00,125 --> 00:14:04,625 Don't bother with the merits, Shirley. This case, it's all about the judge. 273 00:14:38,166 --> 00:14:39,542 You asked to see us. 274 00:14:40,208 --> 00:14:41,083 Sit. 275 00:14:42,166 --> 00:14:43,750 Not to worry. This is standard. 276 00:14:43,834 --> 00:14:45,250 He purposely doesn't look up. 277 00:14:45,333 --> 00:14:48,667 It's a technique taught in the '40s for establishing dominion. 278 00:14:55,750 --> 00:14:59,375 You were involved in a... bar altercation last night? 279 00:15:00,083 --> 00:15:02,166 Altercation? I think not. It was a brawl. 280 00:15:02,959 --> 00:15:07,875 -And you were arrested? -I was. Trial starts tomorrow, actually. 281 00:15:07,959 --> 00:15:10,417 Can I count on you as a character witness? 282 00:15:11,625 --> 00:15:12,750 Who's defending you? 283 00:15:12,834 --> 00:15:15,375 I'm representing myself, with... 284 00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:17,625 Tara's assistance. 285 00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:20,250 There's no opportunity to plead this out? 286 00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:23,375 Only if I plead guilty, which is, of course, unacceptable. 287 00:15:23,458 --> 00:15:28,667 I have to worry about a three strikes law, since I plan to commit future crimes. 288 00:15:30,542 --> 00:15:35,166 I don't know what kind of career death wish you have, Mr. Shore. 289 00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:39,625 But if you're convicted, if you get time, your employment will be terminated. 290 00:15:39,709 --> 00:15:41,375 That may be of little consequence to you-- 291 00:15:41,458 --> 00:15:44,375 If I had a nickel for every time you've threatened to fire me, 292 00:15:44,458 --> 00:15:46,291 Paul, I could simply retire. 293 00:15:46,792 --> 00:15:48,333 Alan, cut it out. 294 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:53,291 It is not my habit to lecture. 295 00:15:54,750 --> 00:15:57,625 But what you did last night was selfish. 296 00:15:58,542 --> 00:16:00,375 We have a reputation here 297 00:16:00,458 --> 00:16:02,834 at Crane, Poole & Schmidt. 298 00:16:02,917 --> 00:16:06,959 The attorneys here take great pride in that reputation. 299 00:16:07,041 --> 00:16:08,792 It undermines everyone 300 00:16:08,875 --> 00:16:10,834 at Crane, Poole & Schmidt... 301 00:16:10,917 --> 00:16:14,291 ...when a lawyer here is criminally prosecuted. 302 00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:16,959 Your actions hurt people. 303 00:16:18,083 --> 00:16:22,208 All of us must now tender explanations 304 00:16:22,625 --> 00:16:25,667 to our friends, our colleagues, 305 00:16:25,750 --> 00:16:29,125 to safeguard and repair the reputation 306 00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:31,250 of Crane, Poole & Schmidt. 307 00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:32,667 Stop it! 308 00:16:36,834 --> 00:16:38,417 I've had it. 309 00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:44,458 Do you hear me? I have had it. 310 00:16:47,917 --> 00:16:49,750 Get out, both of you. 311 00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:21,417 Personally, I would never eat meat. 312 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,583 Why, doctor? 313 00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:24,583 We don't have the means to keep track 314 00:17:24,667 --> 00:17:26,250 of what cattle are being fed, 315 00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:28,458 nor are we adequately testing them, in my opinion. 316 00:17:28,542 --> 00:17:31,125 {\an8}Your Honor, I object to paranoia being offered as evidence. 317 00:17:31,208 --> 00:17:32,166 {\an8}-I'm sorry. 318 00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:35,917 {\an8}But it's absolutely reckless for a government to be telling us we're safe 319 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,417 when the scientific community can't necessarily detect all the ways 320 00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:42,000 this disease can be contracted or transmitted. 321 00:17:42,083 --> 00:17:43,834 But let's look at statistics. 322 00:17:43,917 --> 00:17:47,625 Nobody in this country seems to be getting sick from mad cows. 323 00:17:47,709 --> 00:17:49,667 Judge, we just can't know that. 324 00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:53,458 The disease may have an incubation period of up to 40 years. 325 00:17:53,542 --> 00:17:55,125 You may be infected right now. 326 00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:59,875 My point is, nobody now seems to be demonstrating symptoms. 327 00:17:59,959 --> 00:18:01,625 We don't know that for sure, either. 328 00:18:02,375 --> 00:18:06,667 The human strain of the mad cow disease is called Creutzfeldt-Jakob. 329 00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:08,125 We call it CJD. 330 00:18:08,208 --> 00:18:12,709 But you can also get CJD sporadically, with no link to infected meat. 331 00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:17,583 And some of the people we've diagnosed with Alzheimer's might, in fact, have CJD. 332 00:18:17,667 --> 00:18:21,125 We don't know how many cases there really are. 333 00:18:21,208 --> 00:18:24,834 You cannot tell me the government has all this figured out. 334 00:18:24,917 --> 00:18:26,458 And the government just covers this up? 335 00:18:26,542 --> 00:18:28,583 Well, it's probably not so much a cover-up. 336 00:18:28,667 --> 00:18:31,625 It's just we're not terribly motivated to discover the problem. 337 00:18:31,709 --> 00:18:33,500 The economic consequences would be too severe. 338 00:18:33,583 --> 00:18:35,333 Economic consequences? 339 00:18:35,417 --> 00:18:37,959 The beef industry would risk an outbreak of mad cow disease 340 00:18:38,041 --> 00:18:39,667 that wouldn't bankrupt them overnight? 341 00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:43,083 The beef industry can't always tell when a cow is sick. 342 00:18:43,166 --> 00:18:46,625 And they're desperate to believe that isolated cases are isolated cases. 343 00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:49,125 And the Department of Agriculture just plays along? 344 00:18:49,208 --> 00:18:52,583 The month after that sick cow was found in Washington State. 345 00:18:52,667 --> 00:18:57,500 Mad cow testing dropped almost 50 percent. That's outrageous. 346 00:18:57,583 --> 00:18:58,542 It eventually went up. 347 00:18:58,625 --> 00:19:02,291 Look, they tried to track the herd where that Washington cow came from. 348 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:05,041 They couldn't find 53 of the 80 cows. 349 00:19:05,125 --> 00:19:08,375 They've since admitted their cattle trackback system isn't up and running. 350 00:19:08,458 --> 00:19:11,792 And it would have to be done on a voluntary basis. 351 00:19:11,875 --> 00:19:13,208 Voluntary. 352 00:19:13,750 --> 00:19:18,625 Please, what meat-packing plant wants the distinction of having a mad cow? 353 00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:22,291 Which is why I order the fish. 354 00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:28,834 -Denny. -Hmm? 355 00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:30,291 I'm getting my ass kicked here. 356 00:19:30,375 --> 00:19:32,291 -I can see that. -Any suggestions? 357 00:19:37,083 --> 00:19:38,875 -How old are you, sir? -46. 358 00:19:38,959 --> 00:19:41,959 I'm 72. And I can mop the floor with you. You know why? 359 00:19:42,041 --> 00:19:43,709 I eat meat. 360 00:19:43,792 --> 00:19:46,083 Makes me strong, builds up my immune system, 361 00:19:46,166 --> 00:19:49,709 fights off a whole bunch of other diseases I might have had if I weren't so strong. 362 00:19:51,333 --> 00:19:54,917 Red meat saves lives, baby. You ever think about that? 363 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,458 I'm sorry, but there's no real evidence to support that opinion. 364 00:19:59,291 --> 00:20:00,417 Oh, I'm sorry. 365 00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:03,625 Any hard evidence to support yours? 366 00:20:05,333 --> 00:20:06,625 Hard evidence, no. 367 00:20:10,291 --> 00:20:13,375 But I don't think we really wanna wait for that evidence to come rushing in. 368 00:20:19,959 --> 00:20:23,333 I had him there. Right till the end. 369 00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:29,500 He basically offered us a hundred dollars to fight. 370 00:20:29,583 --> 00:20:31,208 -You took the money. -Yes. 371 00:20:31,291 --> 00:20:33,000 -And you fought. -Yes. 372 00:20:33,083 --> 00:20:35,041 Thank you, sir. 373 00:20:38,125 --> 00:20:39,959 Interesting. We agree to stipulate to the facts, 374 00:20:40,041 --> 00:20:42,375 and the prosecution sees fit to distort them just the same. 375 00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:43,458 -Objection. -Mr. Edwards, 376 00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:46,417 {\an8}I didn't say, "here's a hundred dollars, go fight," did I? 377 00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:48,709 -Well-- -Did I not first ask your friend Mike 378 00:20:48,792 --> 00:20:50,709 to avenge an assault committed against me? 379 00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:53,000 -Yes. -And then when Mike was attacked, 380 00:20:53,083 --> 00:20:55,250 I enlisted you and others to go to his aid, 381 00:20:55,333 --> 00:20:56,458 -did I not? -Yes. 382 00:20:56,542 --> 00:21:00,125 And the man who first assaulted me had many colleagues who joined the fray. 383 00:21:00,208 --> 00:21:01,375 -Did he not? -Yes. 384 00:21:01,458 --> 00:21:04,417 In fact, Joe's friends first turned it into a brawl, wouldn't you say? 385 00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:05,417 Yes. 386 00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:07,250 And as a friend of Mike's, 387 00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:10,125 is it your testimony you would not have gone to his aid, 388 00:21:10,208 --> 00:21:11,458 had I not offered you money? 389 00:21:12,417 --> 00:21:14,959 No, I would have probably jumped in any way at that point. 390 00:21:15,041 --> 00:21:17,250 Well, given your honest and forthright testimony, 391 00:21:17,333 --> 00:21:19,500 which has shed blinding light on what happened in the bar that night, 392 00:21:19,583 --> 00:21:24,041 would you now consider yourself a witness more for the prosecution or the defense? 393 00:21:26,250 --> 00:21:27,208 Um... 394 00:21:27,792 --> 00:21:28,792 I guess defense. 395 00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:30,667 Thank you, Mr. Edwards. 396 00:21:30,750 --> 00:21:32,083 You deserve another hundred. 397 00:21:43,458 --> 00:21:44,834 We're going to lose? 398 00:21:44,917 --> 00:21:47,041 It hasn't gone well. Surely, you've noticed. 399 00:21:47,125 --> 00:21:49,875 My grandfather started this steak house. How can-- 400 00:21:50,750 --> 00:21:51,792 I just can't believe it. 401 00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:54,333 Look, it isn't over yet. We still have summations, but-- 402 00:21:58,709 --> 00:22:03,000 Let me tell you this one more time. Play the judge. 403 00:22:03,083 --> 00:22:05,458 The man lives with his mother, and he wears lifts. 404 00:22:05,542 --> 00:22:07,208 The buzzword is "nansy pansy." 405 00:22:07,875 --> 00:22:10,375 -I beg your pardon. -"Nansy pansy." 406 00:22:11,208 --> 00:22:13,125 He doesn't want to fall on that side of the fence. 407 00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:15,083 It's even worse than namby-pamby. 408 00:22:16,291 --> 00:22:18,250 -What are you talking about? -Trust me, Shirley. 409 00:22:20,375 --> 00:22:22,083 For once, can you do that? 410 00:22:24,667 --> 00:22:26,500 "Nansy pansy." 411 00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:38,750 I was thinking perhaps I should close. 412 00:22:38,834 --> 00:22:40,250 Don't be ridiculous. 413 00:22:40,333 --> 00:22:42,291 -I'm sorry? -No offense, Tara. 414 00:22:42,375 --> 00:22:43,625 But since I handled the witness, 415 00:22:43,709 --> 00:22:46,291 -the jury will be expecting-- -Did you see the faces on the jury? 416 00:22:47,375 --> 00:22:49,792 They weren't impressed. They found you smug. 417 00:22:49,875 --> 00:22:52,583 You were, perhaps, too self-satisfied to notice. 418 00:22:54,250 --> 00:22:56,792 Are we at a certain point in our cycle, Tara? 419 00:23:01,875 --> 00:23:03,000 I apologize. 420 00:23:03,667 --> 00:23:04,542 Do you? 421 00:23:06,041 --> 00:23:06,917 That's a first. 422 00:23:11,291 --> 00:23:12,625 Say what you must. 423 00:23:14,333 --> 00:23:18,166 I was hugely embarrassed by what happened at the bar, not to mention terrified. 424 00:23:18,250 --> 00:23:20,542 I could have been injured. Did that ever occur to you? 425 00:23:20,625 --> 00:23:22,333 I mean, it would have been one thing 426 00:23:22,417 --> 00:23:24,917 had you had a Neanderthal reaction and swung back, 427 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,750 but your response was considered. 428 00:23:26,834 --> 00:23:31,125 You reflectively, calmly orchestrated your violence. 429 00:23:31,208 --> 00:23:32,792 People could have been hurt. 430 00:23:33,500 --> 00:23:34,917 I could have been hurt. 431 00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:36,917 But you've not once considered that, 432 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:40,250 because contrary to the rumor that you are the center of the universe, 433 00:23:40,333 --> 00:23:42,542 clearly you are the universe. 434 00:23:43,792 --> 00:23:45,792 And I, for one, am getting sick of it. 435 00:24:13,875 --> 00:24:18,166 Alan Shore's a good lawyer, Paul. If we fire him, it does leave a hole. 436 00:24:18,250 --> 00:24:21,625 I am certainly mindful of that, but how far do we let him push us? 437 00:24:21,709 --> 00:24:24,583 He has done this at every firm he has worked for. 438 00:24:24,667 --> 00:24:28,291 He defies them to the point, his last firm sued him. 439 00:24:28,375 --> 00:24:30,625 Yes, and he went on. They didn't. 440 00:24:31,667 --> 00:24:33,166 Schmidt, you called? 441 00:24:33,250 --> 00:24:36,250 Chelina, I called you three hours ago. Where have you been? 442 00:24:36,333 --> 00:24:37,750 Patriots parade. 443 00:24:37,834 --> 00:24:39,625 The Patriots parade was last week. 444 00:24:39,709 --> 00:24:43,041 Three Super Bowls, four years. I'm still on parade. 445 00:24:44,583 --> 00:24:47,875 You worked on that Ianetti meat-packing case last year, didn't you? 446 00:24:47,959 --> 00:24:49,000 Yes. 447 00:24:49,083 --> 00:24:51,792 What do you know about that cow in Washington State? 448 00:24:53,709 --> 00:24:56,667 I'm about to suffer an embarrassing defeat in court. 449 00:24:56,750 --> 00:24:59,375 I need to show that what happened in Washington was an isolated-- 450 00:24:59,458 --> 00:25:00,291 What? 451 00:25:00,375 --> 00:25:02,125 Don't go near the Washington case. 452 00:25:02,208 --> 00:25:04,917 It's possible it wasn't even a downer cow. 453 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:06,542 What do you mean, downer cow? 454 00:25:07,041 --> 00:25:09,333 Basically, it means the cow fell down. 455 00:25:09,417 --> 00:25:14,333 We're told that the mad cows are easy to spot because they stumble and fall. 456 00:25:14,417 --> 00:25:16,333 We were told that this cow fell, 457 00:25:16,417 --> 00:25:19,458 but eyewitnesses in Washington say the cow was walking 458 00:25:19,542 --> 00:25:21,792 and was tested only as a fluke. 459 00:25:22,333 --> 00:25:23,417 Which means... 460 00:25:23,500 --> 00:25:28,458 While we're being told that the sick cows show easily detectable symptoms... 461 00:25:28,959 --> 00:25:33,041 They sometimes don't, and therefore go undetected. 462 00:25:33,125 --> 00:25:35,041 Stay away from the Washington case. 463 00:25:36,500 --> 00:25:37,375 Thank you, Chelina. 464 00:25:37,458 --> 00:25:38,291 Hm. 465 00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:44,917 Pardon the expression, but... 466 00:25:45,583 --> 00:25:46,458 I'm dead meat. 467 00:25:46,542 --> 00:25:48,458 You really think you're going to lose? 468 00:25:48,542 --> 00:25:51,500 I'm tempted to employ Denny's strategy. 469 00:25:52,333 --> 00:25:54,041 Which is... 470 00:25:55,458 --> 00:25:57,375 "Nansy pansy." 471 00:26:01,291 --> 00:26:02,917 All I know is he instigated the brawl. 472 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,542 The charge is conspiracy to commit aggravated assault. 473 00:26:05,625 --> 00:26:07,083 Talking about me, Brad? 474 00:26:08,583 --> 00:26:11,625 Yeah, we're just trying to imagine you as an instigator. 475 00:26:11,709 --> 00:26:13,125 What's that supposed to mean? 476 00:26:16,375 --> 00:26:18,750 Sorry. Forget it. 477 00:26:18,834 --> 00:26:20,208 No, let's not forget it. 478 00:26:20,291 --> 00:26:21,709 How about you say what you have to say? 479 00:26:21,792 --> 00:26:24,750 Or is that too monumental an effort, completing whole sentences? 480 00:26:24,834 --> 00:26:26,792 -Come on, Alan. -You want to talk about me, Lori? 481 00:26:26,875 --> 00:26:29,041 Perhaps you should reposition yourself behind my back. 482 00:26:29,125 --> 00:26:31,792 -Isn't that the rule of the game? -I don't talk about you behind your back. 483 00:26:31,875 --> 00:26:33,375 You're not that interesting. 484 00:26:34,875 --> 00:26:36,667 I'm tired of this. Got that? 485 00:26:41,041 --> 00:26:43,500 Whoa, I don't know what's going on with you, sport. 486 00:26:43,583 --> 00:26:45,458 But you're certainly smart enough to realize 487 00:26:45,542 --> 00:26:48,375 that I could probably dismember you in about the time-- 488 00:26:49,834 --> 00:26:51,125 -Then do it. -Cut it out. 489 00:26:51,208 --> 00:26:52,291 What the hell is going on? 490 00:26:52,375 --> 00:26:54,333 Careful, Tara. I wouldn't want you to get hurt. 491 00:26:54,417 --> 00:26:56,041 Listen to me, talking to others 492 00:26:56,125 --> 00:26:58,291 as if I weren't the only one in the universe. 493 00:26:58,375 --> 00:26:59,458 When will I learn? 494 00:26:59,542 --> 00:27:01,375 No, when will we learn? 495 00:27:02,250 --> 00:27:04,458 That you are "always right." 496 00:27:07,542 --> 00:27:09,834 That it makes sense to start a bar room brawl. 497 00:27:09,917 --> 00:27:13,291 That it's perfectly reasonable to get into a shoving match at the office. 498 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,959 Nothing could be going on with you. 499 00:27:20,083 --> 00:27:21,625 When will we learn? 500 00:27:26,083 --> 00:27:27,000 Get help. 501 00:27:39,041 --> 00:27:42,750 We had an expression in this country years ago called "where's the beef?" 502 00:27:42,834 --> 00:27:45,458 Translation, where's the substance? 503 00:27:46,875 --> 00:27:51,542 Your Honor, do you know anybody who's been victimized by mad cow disease? 504 00:27:52,333 --> 00:27:54,375 Know anybody who knows anybody? 505 00:27:55,333 --> 00:27:59,333 Know anybody who knows anybody who knows anybody? 506 00:28:01,041 --> 00:28:04,417 There's simply not a shred of evidence to suggest 507 00:28:04,500 --> 00:28:09,208 that a single person in this country has ever become ill from a mad cow. 508 00:28:10,458 --> 00:28:14,083 But "why wait?" That's the mayor's jingle. 509 00:28:14,667 --> 00:28:16,166 "Why wait?" 510 00:28:17,166 --> 00:28:19,417 Because this man and others like him 511 00:28:19,500 --> 00:28:22,542 have sacrificed their lives and their livelihoods 512 00:28:22,625 --> 00:28:24,375 building their restaurants. 513 00:28:24,458 --> 00:28:29,375 Maybe as a courtesy, we could wait for a scintilla of evidence 514 00:28:29,458 --> 00:28:32,792 before arbitrarily destroying their businesses. 515 00:28:32,875 --> 00:28:38,125 The fact is the USDA has done an exemplary job conducting tests, 516 00:28:38,208 --> 00:28:41,834 establishing safeguards to prevent the outbreak of mad cow disease, 517 00:28:41,917 --> 00:28:43,875 which is probably why it hasn't broken out. 518 00:28:43,959 --> 00:28:47,500 {\an8}Well, we could give in to our fear and panic... 519 00:28:47,959 --> 00:28:49,458 Baseless panic, 520 00:28:49,750 --> 00:28:51,583 but that would make us... 521 00:28:56,583 --> 00:28:58,834 a nation of nansy pansies. 522 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,750 {\an8}I don't know about you, but... 523 00:29:02,333 --> 00:29:05,291 I don't want to be a nansy pansy. 524 00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:13,000 Towns make rules all the time. 525 00:29:13,083 --> 00:29:16,917 {\an8}Lots of them zoned fast-food restaurants out of business. 526 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:21,583 Through permits, they can control how you build your house. 527 00:29:21,667 --> 00:29:26,583 Some towns ban alcohol, cigarettes. Others have curfews. 528 00:29:26,667 --> 00:29:28,834 We do all kinds of things. 529 00:29:28,917 --> 00:29:32,917 The only legal requirement is that the laws are reasonable. 530 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:38,250 It is not unreasonable to fear an outbreak of mad cow disease. 531 00:29:38,750 --> 00:29:40,875 We've had a case in Washington State. 532 00:29:40,959 --> 00:29:43,542 Another last month in Canada. 533 00:29:43,625 --> 00:29:46,792 We just lifted the ban on Canadian beef. 534 00:29:46,875 --> 00:29:50,500 The incubation period for this disease could be decades. 535 00:29:50,583 --> 00:29:54,417 We have no guarantee that we're not already infected. 536 00:29:54,500 --> 00:29:59,125 It is simply reckless for the government to be injecting certainty 537 00:29:59,208 --> 00:30:01,166 when the scientific community cannot. 538 00:30:01,250 --> 00:30:02,583 And forget mad cow. 539 00:30:02,667 --> 00:30:07,375 We already know that eating beef can cause high cholesterol, heart disease. 540 00:30:07,458 --> 00:30:09,333 It increases the risk of colon cancer. 541 00:30:09,417 --> 00:30:13,000 There's listeria and E. coli, which has already killed people. 542 00:30:14,291 --> 00:30:18,458 Dioxin, the poison that almost killed the Ukrainian president. 543 00:30:18,542 --> 00:30:21,709 That stuff is on our grazing grass. 544 00:30:22,542 --> 00:30:24,333 Scientists say the average American 545 00:30:24,417 --> 00:30:27,208 has about ten units of dioxin in their blood fat 546 00:30:27,291 --> 00:30:29,458 simply from eating animal fat. 547 00:30:31,041 --> 00:30:37,125 There are all kinds of reasonable justifications for a mayor 548 00:30:37,208 --> 00:30:40,333 to try to reduce red meat from the diet of his citizenry. 549 00:30:40,417 --> 00:30:43,709 And let me remind you. There is nothing... 550 00:30:44,834 --> 00:30:47,125 Nothing in the constitution... 551 00:30:48,125 --> 00:30:51,375 that guarantees anybody the right to sell a hamburger. 552 00:30:55,792 --> 00:30:58,375 {\an8} 553 00:30:58,875 --> 00:31:02,125 Nansy pansy. 554 00:31:20,959 --> 00:31:22,542 This wasn't self-defense. 555 00:31:22,625 --> 00:31:25,166 Mr. Shore was not under any physical threat 556 00:31:25,250 --> 00:31:27,125 when he paid the first man to fight. 557 00:31:27,208 --> 00:31:29,917 This was vengeance for hire. 558 00:31:30,333 --> 00:31:33,917 And once that violence began, he started paying others to escalate it. 559 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,250 {\an8}These facts are not in dispute. 560 00:31:36,333 --> 00:31:43,291 The only real question for you here is, is Mr. Shore above the law or not? 561 00:31:56,917 --> 00:32:00,458 I've been accused of, reflectively, 562 00:32:00,834 --> 00:32:03,458 perhaps even glibly... 563 00:32:03,583 --> 00:32:07,000 ...orchestrating a little revenge. 564 00:32:07,083 --> 00:32:10,583 Well, I guess that's how I wanted it to look. 565 00:32:10,667 --> 00:32:12,750 A man punched me in the face... 566 00:32:14,250 --> 00:32:15,750 in front of my girlfriend. 567 00:32:16,959 --> 00:32:17,917 And... 568 00:32:18,750 --> 00:32:23,917 while my instinct was to hit him back, the truth is, I was afraid. 569 00:32:25,333 --> 00:32:30,625 I was fearful that if I retaliated, he would... 570 00:32:32,834 --> 00:32:33,875 beat me up. 571 00:32:35,125 --> 00:32:37,709 So I got somebody else to do my fighting. 572 00:32:37,792 --> 00:32:40,208 Then things got out of hand. 573 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,041 And, well... 574 00:32:45,709 --> 00:32:50,166 I had to send more and more troops to a war 575 00:32:50,250 --> 00:32:53,083 that should've ended quickly. 576 00:32:53,709 --> 00:32:55,709 But make no mistake, 577 00:32:55,792 --> 00:32:58,625 {\an8}my reaction that night 578 00:32:58,709 --> 00:33:01,208 was not so much reflective... 579 00:33:02,542 --> 00:33:03,709 as it was... 580 00:33:06,542 --> 00:33:07,375 primal. 581 00:33:09,375 --> 00:33:10,542 A man hit me. 582 00:33:13,166 --> 00:33:19,792 And while we like to think of ourselves as being evolved... 583 00:33:24,709 --> 00:33:26,375 Maybe I should've just hit him. 584 00:33:29,500 --> 00:33:34,333 There's a warrior that lies within the belly of every man. 585 00:33:34,417 --> 00:33:38,583 A warrior who, in my case, has always gone unsatisfied. 586 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,959 I tried to satisfy him, but without pain. 587 00:33:44,750 --> 00:33:46,709 That's what the craven do, sometimes. 588 00:33:48,542 --> 00:33:50,417 They stand out of the fray, 589 00:33:51,083 --> 00:33:53,458 thump their egos along with their chests, 590 00:33:56,208 --> 00:33:57,834 and let others do the fighting. 591 00:34:30,959 --> 00:34:32,750 Well, thank you all for staying late. 592 00:34:37,041 --> 00:34:38,542 I did some research of my own. 593 00:34:39,333 --> 00:34:43,250 As you may know, I pride myself on being a conscientious fact finder. 594 00:34:43,333 --> 00:34:44,458 Here we go. 595 00:34:45,041 --> 00:34:47,083 No nansy pansy. 596 00:34:48,333 --> 00:34:50,083 Mad cow disease is here. 597 00:34:50,166 --> 00:34:52,500 And for all the guarantees supplied by the government, 598 00:34:52,583 --> 00:34:54,625 the scientific community doesn't back them up. 599 00:34:55,041 --> 00:34:57,625 We all have a right to be concerned. 600 00:34:58,375 --> 00:35:00,959 The governmental agencies in place to protect us 601 00:35:01,041 --> 00:35:04,917 seem to be controlled by the industries we need protection from. 602 00:35:05,500 --> 00:35:08,750 This mad cow disease started out in Europe and worked its way over here, 603 00:35:08,834 --> 00:35:12,709 and it is true the scientists are at odds with our government, 604 00:35:13,291 --> 00:35:19,000 but as a trier of fact, a judge must rely on facts. 605 00:35:19,083 --> 00:35:22,625 And there is no evidence of an epidemic. 606 00:35:22,709 --> 00:35:25,667 {\an8}If a judge were to allow himself to be governed by fear alone, 607 00:35:25,750 --> 00:35:27,917 {\an8}well, then it is true, and I agree. 608 00:35:28,041 --> 00:35:29,333 It would make him a... 609 00:35:30,834 --> 00:35:33,041 uh, nansy pansy. 610 00:35:34,333 --> 00:35:36,750 This judge is anything but. 611 00:35:36,834 --> 00:35:39,333 I find the law banning the sale of red meat 612 00:35:39,417 --> 00:35:41,417 to be premature, if not capricious, 613 00:35:41,500 --> 00:35:43,000 and it is hereby overturned. 614 00:35:43,083 --> 00:35:44,667 Way to go, judge. 615 00:35:46,792 --> 00:35:47,667 Case adjourned. 616 00:35:50,959 --> 00:35:53,542 -Anybody up for a burger? -Thank you, thank you. 617 00:35:54,959 --> 00:35:56,333 Thank God. 618 00:36:00,250 --> 00:36:02,709 Well, Denny, I admit, I had my doubts. 619 00:36:03,792 --> 00:36:06,083 But you won this case. Thank you. 620 00:36:06,750 --> 00:36:08,750 Does this mean we're having sex tonight? 621 00:36:10,875 --> 00:36:14,500 Allow me the dream a little longer. 622 00:36:16,041 --> 00:36:17,125 I won the day. 623 00:36:18,125 --> 00:36:20,166 I deserve to be rewarded. 624 00:36:21,083 --> 00:36:22,291 I'll give you this. 625 00:36:25,834 --> 00:36:27,166 Denny. 626 00:36:27,250 --> 00:36:29,125 Denny. 627 00:36:29,250 --> 00:36:30,709 -Denny... -Oh. 628 00:36:31,375 --> 00:36:32,917 Crane. 629 00:36:51,208 --> 00:36:54,083 I must be acquitted. She's not smiling. 630 00:36:54,166 --> 00:36:57,041 Madam Foreperson, you've reached a unanimous verdict? 631 00:36:57,125 --> 00:36:59,041 -We have, Your Honor. -What say you? 632 00:37:00,667 --> 00:37:02,417 "Commonwealth versus Alan Shore, 633 00:37:02,500 --> 00:37:05,959 on the count of conspiracy to commit aggravated assault, 634 00:37:06,041 --> 00:37:08,792 we find the defendant Alan Shore 635 00:37:08,875 --> 00:37:09,959 not guilty." 636 00:37:10,041 --> 00:37:11,500 We appeal, judge. 637 00:37:14,208 --> 00:37:17,625 Members of the jury, this completes your service. You can go. 638 00:37:18,208 --> 00:37:19,542 {\an8}Mr. Shore. 639 00:37:20,667 --> 00:37:24,625 {\an8}This probably doesn't have to be goodbye so much as... 640 00:37:25,083 --> 00:37:26,625 until we meet again. 641 00:37:26,709 --> 00:37:28,166 Yes, Your Honor. 642 00:37:31,709 --> 00:37:33,792 She's attracted to me. 643 00:37:34,542 --> 00:37:35,667 No doubt. 644 00:37:36,333 --> 00:37:37,375 Tara. 645 00:37:38,875 --> 00:37:40,041 I am sorry. 646 00:37:41,166 --> 00:37:43,750 I never meant to put you in any danger. 647 00:37:44,417 --> 00:37:45,291 I know. 648 00:37:48,208 --> 00:37:49,917 When you... 649 00:37:53,750 --> 00:37:57,208 ...launched into that diatribe about me being the... 650 00:37:57,291 --> 00:37:58,500 The universe? 651 00:38:02,166 --> 00:38:03,917 You even said you were sick of it. 652 00:38:07,458 --> 00:38:08,750 Are you sick of me? 653 00:38:14,166 --> 00:38:15,834 Are you sick of me, Tara? 654 00:38:19,375 --> 00:38:20,250 No. 655 00:38:30,250 --> 00:38:31,667 As much as I... 656 00:38:34,250 --> 00:38:37,542 ...loathe sentiment together with its expression... 657 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,500 I cherish you. 658 00:38:44,500 --> 00:38:45,667 You should just know... 659 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,208 You really, really smell good. 660 00:38:57,542 --> 00:38:58,959 You smell good, too. 661 00:39:32,125 --> 00:39:33,125 How'd you do? 662 00:39:34,125 --> 00:39:36,667 The jury was out 15 minutes. Not guilty. 663 00:39:37,792 --> 00:39:39,041 They took pity on me. 664 00:39:40,291 --> 00:39:41,709 Congratulations. 665 00:39:44,875 --> 00:39:46,250 I heard you won. 666 00:39:47,041 --> 00:39:47,959 Hmm. 667 00:39:49,792 --> 00:39:51,083 Everything okay? 668 00:39:54,083 --> 00:39:55,291 I don't have Alzheimer's. 669 00:39:57,625 --> 00:39:59,250 I have mad cow disease. 670 00:40:02,208 --> 00:40:03,792 Well, it's nice to finally know. 671 00:40:11,834 --> 00:40:14,208 Ever beat up anybody with your bare hands? 672 00:40:16,166 --> 00:40:17,083 Many times. 673 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:21,208 Why? 674 00:40:22,375 --> 00:40:23,375 Just asking. 675 00:40:25,083 --> 00:40:26,166 Have you? 676 00:40:28,750 --> 00:40:29,583 No. 677 00:40:32,875 --> 00:40:33,750 Well... 678 00:40:35,625 --> 00:40:37,917 It makes you a better man than I, I guess. 679 00:40:41,834 --> 00:40:42,792 I guess so. 680 00:41:12,542 --> 00:41:13,834 Next on Boston Legal... 681 00:41:13,917 --> 00:41:18,125 You so often refer to lawyers as unprincipled, soulless whores. 682 00:41:18,208 --> 00:41:21,041 Well, for the next few days, I need you to be my whore. 683 00:41:21,125 --> 00:41:23,000 -The little man, he's here. -Alan. 684 00:41:23,083 --> 00:41:25,625 -Good gracious, who have you killed now? -Donny Crane. 685 00:41:25,709 --> 00:41:27,667 You remember me. We used to be father and son. 686 00:41:27,750 --> 00:41:29,250 You got on this case specifically 687 00:41:29,333 --> 00:41:30,625 -because I'm on it. -I did. 688 00:41:30,709 --> 00:41:32,000 -You wanna get me? -I do. 689 00:41:32,083 --> 00:41:33,166 I love it. 54423

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