All language subtitles for Ver Serial Mom (1994)_track3_[eng]

EUGENE: That's a nice dress
you're wearing
this morning, Misty.

MISTY: Thanks, Dad.

Want the
entertainment section?

CHIP: Not yet, Dad, thanks.

Got any donuts?

Of course not, Chip.

You know
they're bad
for the teeth.

Always the dentist.

Who wants fruit salad?

Oh, I do, please.

Misty, that's not gum
in your mouth, is it?

It's sugarless.

Misty, you know
how I hate gum.
All that chomping and chewing.

I'm sorry, Mom.

All right.

MISTY: Hey, Chip.
Mmm?

You think I could
get 50 cents for
Village People on vinyl?

You might get a buck.

Carl can't believe
how much I make
at swap meets.

Who,
may I ask,
is Carl?

Just a boy.

He's picking me up
this morning.

Here we go again.

He's really cute.

Misty,
cute is not enough.
You know that.

She sure
can pick them.

He goes
to college
with me.

Leave her alone, Chip.
I think it's great
Misty's got a new beau.

Chip, honey?

Thanks, Mom.

(FLY BUZZING)

EUGENE: Listen to this.

"Hillside Strangler
gets his college
degree in prison."

That's nice, dear.

Nice? He should
have been executed.

CHIP: Yeah,
the death penalty.

He killed people, Mom.

We all have
our bad days.

You'd probably
date him.
"He's cute!"

(LAUGHS GOOFILY)

EUGENE: All right,
that's enough.

CHIP: Hey, Dad, have you
ever seen Henry: Portrait of
a Serial Killer?

MISTY: Oh, sure, Chip.

I most certainly have not.

(BUZZING CONTINUES)

You've been
working in that
video shop too long.

CHIP: Mind your
own business.

EUGENE: Well, it better
hadn't be interfering
with your schoolwork.

I do great
in school, Dad.

Well, your mother
has PTA today.

We'll see what
your teacher
has to say.

Oh, Mom,
I hate Mr. Stubbins.

Don't say "hate," dear.
Hate is a very serious word.

There!
Scrambled eggs,
anybody?

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Who on earth...

Mrs. Sutphin?
Yes.

I'm Detective Pike.
This is Detective Gracey.

Oh, come in.

I'm Dr. Eugene Sutphin.
What seems to be
the trouble, Officers?

Is there a killer loose?

No, son.
Nothing that exciting.

Oh, this is our son, Chip,
and our daughter, Misty.

Hi.

CHIP: Jeez...

Oh.

Officer, I'm sorry,
but we don't allow
gum in this house.

Sorry, ma'am.

We're investigating
obscene phone calls
and mail threats

to a certain
Mrs. Dottie Hinkle.

I know Dottie.

She lives
right down
the street.

Could you take
a look at this and...

Tell us of anyone
who might be
responsible?

I should warn you,
this note
contains language.

BEVERLY: Oh, my!

That...
That is the limit.

Let me see.

No, Son.
This is a matter
for adults.

Officers,
I have never even said
the "P" word out loud,

let alone
have written
it down.

No woman would.

Officers, life doesn't
have to be ugly.

See, look at
the birds out there.

Listen to their call...

(MIMICS CHIRPING)

(HORN HONKING)

Chip, there's your ride.

Hey, I'm gonna be
late for work.
Goodbye, honey.

Okay.

Excuse me.

EUGENE: Hi, Scotty.

Thanks for
your time,
everybody.

Bye, Detective Pike.

EUGENE: Hi, Birdie!

Hi, Mr. And Mrs. Sutphin.

That's Birdie.
She's a horror nut,
just like my son.

Oh, Birdie,
this is Detective Gracey
and Detective Pike.

Hiya, boys.

BEVERLY: Bye-bye, honey!

Good morning, Scott.

Hey, Misty,
look what I got.
A Pee-Wee Herman doll.

Can you sell it
for me at
the flea market?

Wow!
Still in the box!
I sure can!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Oh, God,
here comes Carl.

You must be
Mrs. Sutphin.
Carl Pageant.

Oh, yes.
Misty's date.

Well, more
of a friend, really.

Take it
easy, man.
Bye.

See what Birdie
gave me to sell
at the flea market?

That guy's a weirdo.
Come on, let's go.

I'll take it.

Bye, Mom.
Bye, honey.

Oh, Detectives?
Here's something
you should be interested in.

A grown boy
who doesn't wear
his seatbelt.

Christ, that one was
Beaver Cleaver's mother.

(MIMICS BEVERLY CHIRPING)

Oh, leave her alone.

Mrs. Sutphin's
about as normal
and nice a lady

as we're ever
gonna find.

(RINGING)

Hello?

(IN GRUFF VOICE)
Is this the
Cocksucker residence?

God damn you!
Stop calling here.

Isn't this
4215 Pussy Way?

You bitch!

Now let me check
the zip code.
212-fuck you!

Beverly?
Beverly, darling?
You home?

The police
are tracing this call
this very minute.

Well, Dottie Hinkle,
then why aren't they here,
huh, fuck-face?

Fuck you!

Beverly, you home?

I know you are.

Beverly?

Hmm.

(PHONE RINGING)

Didn't I just
say fuck you?

I beg your pardon.

Who is this?

Mrs. Wilson from
the telephone company.

I understand
you're having problems
with an obscene phone caller?

Yes, I am. I'm sorry,
Mrs. Wilson, but this
is driving me crazy.

I've had my number
changed twice already.

I'm a divorced woman.
Please help me.

Beverly?

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

Well, what exactly does
this sick individual
say to you?

I can't say
the words out loud.
I don't use bad language.

Oh, well, I know
it's difficult, but we need
to know the exact words.

I'll try.

Cocksucker.
That's what
she calls me.

Listen to your
filthy mouth,
you fucking whore!

God damn you!

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

Motherfucker.

Cocksucker!

Beverly?
Rosemary.

Are you all right?

Oh, yes,
of course.
I'm fine.

Oh, how nice.
You remembered.

It's the least
I could do.

I heard shouting.

Oh, it's that
cable TV company.

You know
how they are.

Did you hear
about poor
Dottie Hinkle?

Yes, I did.
It's terrifying.

The police
were at my house
this morning.

Now who on earth
would want to harass
poor Dottie Hinkle?

Bye-bye.

(CAR HORN HONKING)

But, Mr. Stubbins,
my son studies
every night.

He's trying
as hard
as he can.

Well, some teenagers
just aren't college material,
Mrs. Taplotter.

It's nothing
to cry over.

Now, there are
other parents waiting.

Thank you for
taking the time
to come to PTA.

Hi, Betty.
Oh, hi, Beverly.

Oh, I love
your outfit.

Oh, thanks.

Hi.
WOMAN: Hi.

Liz Claiborne.

Well, Mrs. Sutphin,
where's that
husband of yours?

Feeling a little
down in the mouth?

Oh, Ralph.
You're so funny.

Oh, brother.

Mrs. Sutphin?

Yes, right here.

(WHISPERING)

Mrs. Sutphin,
I'm Paul Stubbins,
Chip's math teacher.

Oh, it's so nice
to meet you.

Here's a
little something
that I made.

Oh.

Fruitcake.
Well, thank you,
Mrs. Sutphin.

Have a seat.

(BIDDING GOOD APPETITE
IN FRENCH)

Oh, yes.

Well, Chip's off
to a fine start
this year.

He's focused, conscientious,
he participates actively
in classroom discussions...

He's a good boy.

There is one
big problem, though.

What is it?

His unhealthy obsession
with sick horror films.

Oh, no.

Chip's the
assistant manager
at a video store...

That's no excuse
for a morbid imagination.

I caught him
drawing this
in class last week.

Is there
a problem
at home?

Of course not.

Divorce?
Alcoholic relative?

Tell me, did Chip
torture animals
when he was young?

No, he did not.

Mr. Stubbins,
we are a loving
and supportive family.

Well, you're doing
something wrong,
Mrs. Sutphin.

I'd recommend
therapy for your son.

Thank you
for taking the time
to come to PTA.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(GRUNTING)

(GROANING)

(THUDDING)

(BIRDIE LAUGHING)

Watch this.
No, thanks.

Scotty, watch this.

BIRDIE: It's a sheep's tongue.

This shit is sickening.
Come on, put on some pussy.

Look, dickhead...

(GROANS IN DISGUST)

Blood Feast.

The Citizen Kane
of gore movies.

(GROANS)

(SCREAMS)

I don't know what it is
about today,
but I feel great! Cookie?

Excuse me,
Mrs. Sutphin.

Hi, Mom.
Hi, Mrs. Sutphin.

Hi, guys.

CHIP: Look how fake
that looks.

Oh, you kids.
Here, have a cookie
and run on home.

But, Mom,
the video's not over.

Don't you
"but, Mom" me.

Mr. Stubbins
seems to think
that these silly movies

are interfering
with your schoolwork.

BIRDIE: Oh, boy.

Mom, Mr. Stubbins sucks.

Man!
That one
made me puke!

It's supposed
to make you puke.

You forgot something.

Are we leaving?

Yes, you are.

Bye, Mrs. Sutphin.

Bye, Birdie.

Bye, Bird-Brain.
See you, Scotty.

Now, Chip, honey,
I know how hard
it is being a teenager.

I understand.
I'm your mother
and I love you.

Mom...

Oh, could we watch
that scene again?

You know the one,
where he rips
her heart out? Please?

Ladies and gentlemen,
the perfect meatloaf.

It looks
good, Mom.

Nothing like
a home-cooked meal,
honey.

Oh, Misty, I made you
your favorite,
sesame broccoli.

You know,
Carl says
if I lose 10 pounds,

he'll take me to
the University of Maryland
Memorial Day Beach Blast.

Well, honey, I think
that's great if you
wanna lose weight,

but I think
you should do it
for yourself,

not for some boy
you hardly even know.

Carl's a jerk.

He certainly
drives like
a jerk.

Carl makes me happy
and that threatens
this family, doesn't it?

It doesn't threaten me,
honey. I'm happy.

BEVERLY: I'm happy, too.

We just want
you to be happy.

I'm so happy
I could shit.

Chip, you know
how I hate
the brown word.

Beverly! Beverly!

(PANTING)

Beverly!

That's Rosemary.
Something
must be wrong.

Turn on the news.
A teacher at your school
has been murdered.

Murdered?
Who?

A Mr. Stuber
or Stubin...

Mr. Stubbins!

That's my
math teacher.
Dad...

Which channel?

It's on
all of them!

Police claim the driver
of the hit-and-run vehicle

(PHONE RINGING)

Ran down the teacher
in cold blood.
Hello?

Did you hear?
What happened?

This is so cool.
It's just like
a horror movie.

It's on.
I'll call you back.
Okay, bye.

Mr. Paul Stubbins
was 38 years old.

Whoever did this
should get
the death penalty.

So far only
one eyewitness
has surfaced.

Young lady,
what did you see?

It was a blue car.

That's Lu-Ann Hodges.

She's a stoner.

A what?

CHIP: A pothead, Mom.

A blue station wagon.

That's like
your car, Beverly.

Rosemary,
I'm not
that bad a driver.

...in a second, man.

It flattened
Mr. Stubbins
just like a pancake!

Oh, God, man,
puke time, man.

Oh, look
at her hair.

Blood was all over
the place and...

Turn it off, honey.

I can't believe
Mr. Stubbins is dead.

You said
you hated him.

Well, he was
an asshole, but he
didn't deserve to die.

I can't stop
thinking about
that poor teacher.

Well,
good night,
honey.

Good night, dear.

Don't read
too late.

We've got
a big day with
the birds tomorrow.

Oh, I've identified

every little birdie that
we're gonna see tomorrow
on the Eastern Shore.

Good night, honey.

Hey, don't I get
a good night kiss?

I thought with
all this sadness,
you wouldn't wanna...

We have to
concentrate on life,
Eugene.

It's all right
with me, Beverly.

You want to, honey?

(WHISPERING)
You think the kids
are awake?

We could be
very quiet.

I love that
you're my wife.

You're not
so bad yourself,
cuckoo bird.

You bring me
such peace.

(MOANING)

(SHUSHING)

(MOANING)

Don't wake
the kids.

(MOANING)

Oh, honey,
you are hot tonight.

Oh, yeah!

Quiet!

Oh, yeah!

(MOANING CONTINUES)

BEVERLY: Yeah!

Oh, get it!
Honey,
I'm ready!

Now! Now...

BEVERLY: Oh, yeah! Yes!

EUGENE: Now!

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Oh, there's DeeDee.
Oh, she's my
favorite starling.

She's here
every morning
for breakfast.

Well, honey, starlings
are originally
from Europe, you know.

No wonder
DeeDee's hungry.

It's a long journey
all the way here
to Baltimore.

(INAUDIBLE)

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

Eugene,
this is Ralph Sterner.

I've got a
dental emergency here.

I mean,
this goddamn tooth
is killing me.

Well, Mr. Sterner,
if you'll just
call my office,

I'm sure
we can see you
on Monday.

Monday?

Eugene,
this is
Betty Sterner.

He'll die
by Monday.

I mean,
the roots
are infected.

He might have
a heart attack.

All right,
Mrs. Sterner.
10:00.

I'm sorry, honey,
but the birds will
still be there next week.

It's okay.
I understand.

I'll go
fix breakfast.

Chip!

God! Mom,
what's the matter?

Oh, it's just
time to get up,
that's all.

I don't want you
to be late for work.

You scared me.

Misty, honey,
what's wrong?

I'm stood up.

I'll kill
that bastard.

I mean it.

He should
be dead,
that lousy creep.

He told me
he'd be here.
I'll kill him.

Don't use words
unless you mean them,
Misty, honey.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
It's him!

No, no.
It's the police.

Good morning, Officers.

Good morning,
Mrs. Sutphin.

Hi, Detective Pike.

Morning, Misty.

Mrs. Sutphin, I presume
you know about
the death of Mr. Stubbins.

Oh, yes, yes.
A fine man,
a good teacher.

Contusions, fractures,
rupture of numerous
vital organs.

What a mess.

(CAR HORN HONKING)

Oh, no, no, honey.
That's Scotty.

Scotty, who doesn't
wear his seatbelt.

Good morning, Detectives.

Nightmare on
Calverton Court.

The Maryland
Teacher Massacre.

GRACEY: It's not funny, son.

Did you drive your car
to the PTA meeting
yesterday, Mrs. Sutphin?

Yes, I did.

Detectives,
what is this
all about?

I know this
sounds weird,
Mr. Sutphin,

but the Department
of Motor Vehicles
computer shows

only one blue
station wagon

registered to
a parent of any of
Mr. Stubbins' pupils.

Surely, you don't think
that Beverly
was involved in this?

She did it!

Aimed the car right
at Mr. Stubbins
and mowed him down!

(LAUGHING)

Shut up,
Scotty.

Well, as I understand it,
the only eyewitness
was a drug user.

I got somebody
you could
run over, Mother.

EUGENE: Misty, that's
a terrible thing
to say.

Detectives,
it's time for you
to leave.

My wife knows
nothing about
this terrible accident.

Murder, honey.

Oh!
Now here's
a babe.

Let's see that,
young man.

"P," as in...

People who
don't mind
their own business.

Darling,
it's Rosemary Ackerman's.

Oh, you can tell
by the subscription label.

I don't like to read
about movies.
They're so violent.

Besides,
I always recycle
my magazines.

(SHOUTS)

(DAYBREAK PLAYING ON TAPE)
(SINGING)... daybreak
if you wanna believe

It can be daybreak
Ain't no time to grieve

'Cause it's daybreak
If you'll only believe

And let it shine,
shine, shine

Wait for me, boys!
Here! All rinsed
and ready to recycle.

Morning,
Mrs. Sutphin.

Good morning, Gus.
Good morning, Sloppy.

You know, you boys
work so hard
for the environment,

I thought
I'd bring you
something.

A little drink
never hurt anybody.

Thank you, ma'am.

Damn,
that's good stuff.

You believe
that goddamn
litterbugger?

I have told her
and told her.

It takes 90 to 100 years
for a tin can to decompose

and she still
won't recycle.

It cost the taxpayers
millions of dollars
last year,

but she don't care
nothing about
the national budget.

I hate Mrs. Ackerman.

I hate her, too.

I hate her guts.

You know,
somebody ought
to kill her.

Yeah.

Give her a

(MIMICS FLESH CUTTING)

Happy face,
and then recycle her.

For the sake
of this planet,
somebody just might.

But your boyfriend
was convicted
of killing 12 people.

I don't judge him.

(AUDIENCE GASPING)

I just don't get it.
I mean, how can
you love a mass murderer?

Easy. He's handsome,
he's famous and
we get conjugal visits.

(SIGHS)

Serial hags.
Women who love men
who mutilate.

We'll be right back
after this,
so please stay tuned.

Turn it off.
Violence is everywhere
these days.

It's just Beverly.

Come in, Beverly!

Oh, she scared me.

Hi!
Hi, Rosemary.

Would you
like a beer?

Oh, no, no.
Not me. Thank you.
Just a little coffee.

Oh, Dottie,
I'm so sorry.
I heard about your troubles.

DOTTIE: It's not fair.

No.

Mmm. Oh, thank you.

Are those
pussy willows?

BETTY: Dried ones.

Aren't they pretty?

What did you
just say?

Pussy willows, Dottie.

Oh, my goodness!
What are you doing?

I didn't do it!

My Franklin Mint
Fabergé egg!

Dottie didn't
mean to be
such a clumsy ox.

You're sorry
aren't you, Dottie?

Rosemary,
I did not break
your egg!

She did!

Dottie, you could
at least apologize.

I collect Franklin Mint!

Well, we'll go
right to the
antique market

and we'll find
you another one.

Now, Misty tells me
there's a whole booth filled
with Franklin Mint stuff.

But...
Dottie, you'll lock up,
won't you?

But... But...
I'll take care
of poor Rosemary.

But I heard
her voice.
It's her!

(MOANING)

(YELPS)

Mr. Sterner,
you've lost
a tiny filling.

I have to drill
deeply enough to
remove all the decay.

All right, go ahead,
but be careful.
It really hurts.

Open...
Wider...
Very wide.

(DRILLING CONTINUES)

(RALPH GROANING)

Mrs. Sterner,
you can't go back there.
Mrs. Sterner...

God damn you!
You're trying to
hurt me on purpose.

Are you okay, Ralph?

Mrs. Sterner,
please stay
in the waiting room.

Help me, Betty, he's worse
than the dentist
in The Marathon Man.

I'm sorry to interrupt,
Doctor Sutphin,

but there are
two police detectives

waiting to see you
in your office.

Fine.

Good morning.
What is it, Officers?

My patient
is waiting.

Doctor Sutphin,
is your wife
a big reader?

Bird books, mostly.

Like these
we found
in her garbage.

Urge to Kill,
Mass Murder
in Houston?

I'm sure those
are my son
Chip's books.

No, they're your wife's.

We checked.

She bought them
at the Browse
and Learn Book Shop,

along with
a few other titles.

Helter Skelter.
Hunting Humans.

MasterCard
reference number
7876,

dated February 5th.

This is ridiculous!

Doctor Sutphin,
is your wife mental?

(GNAT BUZZING)

Damn these gnats.
I hate them.

Always something,
isn't it?
Can I help you?

Thanks for not
buying anything.

Misty, honey.
Now lighten up.

It's not the customer's fault
that Carl stood you up.

Young man,
this Fabergé egg
is chipped.

Yes, ma'am, it is.

I'll give you $50.

That's a
Franklin Mint piece.
$100.

$100? Franklin Mint or not,
that's damaged goods.

(SCOFFS)

VENDOR: Hello.
This is a very
special doll.

This veil is from a gown
that came from a bride
who was left at the altar.

Only one of its kind.

I'll take this
instead.

Oh, that's
a nice one, huh?

It'll be cold
before you know it.

$3? I guess
that's how
I must have marked it.

Thank you.
Thank you.

(HUMMING)

Did you find
your Franklin Mint egg,
Rosemary, darling?

Well, I saw one,
but it was
really overpriced.

Oh, want me
to keep this
under the table for you?

If you don't mind.
It was on sale.

Oh, Franklin Mint.

Honey, please,
for my bedroom shelf.

CARL: Okay. Wrap it up
for the little lady.

VENDOR: Here you go.
Thank you.

GIRL: I'm thirsty.

What do you want?

The Colts.

Banner, please.
Thank you.

Honey, I have to
take a piss.

(TOILET FLUSHING)

(THUDDING)

(GROANS IN DISGUST)

(GRUNTS)

There you go.

I can't believe it.
It's fucking Don Knotts.

He's the coolest.
Thanks.
Bye.

Honey! Look!
I made a killing.

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

(PEOPLE MURMURING IN CONCERN)

Mom,
watch the booth.

I want to see
what's going on.

Sure.

I hope
nothing's wrong.

Beverly, honey,

you've got some
doo-doo on your shoe.

(GROANING IN DISGUST)

I hate that.

There was a lady
in the men's room,
I swear.

A pretty little lady
in the stall
right next to me.

(SCREAMING)

She must
know him.

Carl!

WOMAN 1: What happened?
WOMAN 2: I don't know...

That's $158.

New York money
good enough for you?

Certainly.

Thank you.

Mother!
Mother, it's Carl.

He's dead.

How horrible.

Oh, I just sold
the Pee-Wee Herman doll.

Mother,
didn't you
hear me?

Someone murdered Carl
in the men's room.
I just saw his dead body.

You got your wish, dear.

I didn't wish that.
I didn't want him dead.

Beverly, it's me, Ted Bundy.

It's late at night,
six days before
my execution

and it's lonely here
on death row.

REPORTER ON RADIO:
Updating the story
of the hour,

the young man
brutally murdered

a short time ago
in the men's room

of the Antique Traders Mart

has been identified as
22-year-old
Carl Pageant of Towson.

(ALL GROANING IN DISGUST)

No, no,
no! No!

Chip!
Our mother
is Charles Manson.

I'm not kidding.

Carl stood me up
this morning

and then
he was murdered
at the flea market.

Murdered?
Yes, murdered!

You said
you hated
your teacher yesterday

and he was murdered, too.

Look, I don't know.
Maybe Mom's nuts.

That's a cool idea, Misty.

Hey, let's make
a gore movie about Mom,
better yet, a TV series.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Hey, can I
borrow your mother?

My aunt's
coming over
for dinner

and she's always
getting on my nerves.

My stepfather's
an asshole.

She could kill him.
CHIP: How about
Mrs. Ackerman?

We all hate her.
Who's gonna be
the next victim?

No, stop it!
It's not funny.

Mom might do it.
Somebody else
might die.

Dinner is served.

Let's say grace
and pray
for the strength

to understand
the terrible tragedies

of the last few days.

Amen to that.

It's been
a crazy day,
hasn't it?

Bless, O Lord, this food
to our use and our self
to Thy service.

Amen.
Amen.

Hungry, honey?

Dottie Hinkle was right.
It is Beverly Sutphin.

I tell you, I saw
blood right there
on the bottom of her shoes.

Not exactly blood...
It was gore, hanging there
like a runny nose.

Nice as pie, she was to me.
And then I hear her say it.

Say what, ma'am?

"Are those..."
I can't say
the word out loud.

Could you tell
a policewoman

the exact words
she used?

Maybe.

It's okay.
Nobody's gonna
hurt you.

Come on.
Let it out.

"Pussy," that's what
she said to me.
"Pussy willows."

You know, Mom...
Mmm?

Scotty thinks
you're the killer.

Does he?

You know, for somebody
who doesn't wear
his seatbelt,

Scotty sure is nosy.

Oh, just a second.

(CAR TIRES SCREECHING)

(ANOTHER CAR REVVING)

She's gone!

She's gonna
kill Scotty!

Get in the car,
both of you.

Dad, you don't think
she did it, do you?

I do.
Mom's gone crazy.

Your mother may have
some problems.
That's all, Chip.

Come on, hurry.

(SIREN WAILING)

Detective Gracey
and all units.

Suspect's family
headed east
on Calverton.

Repeat, east on Calverton.

Turn right on
Timonium Road, Dad.

I will, I will.
Hurry.

(DAYBREAK PLAYING)
(SINGING)... daybreak
If you'll only believe

It can be daybreak
Ain't no time to grieve

'Cause it's daybreak
If you'll only believe

And let it shine,
shine, shine...

If Mom is psycho,
Scotty will still
be okay, won't he?

We hope so, Son.

And no matter
what your mother is,
we'll love her anyway.

(RAUNCHY MUSIC PLAYING)

This is Scotty's,
Dad. His parents
aren't home. Come on.

Scotty?

(SHUSHING)

(PANTS UNZIPPING)

What was that?

I didn't
hear anything.

Got any dessert?

Doctor Sutphin said
no sweets for you.

Yeah, well,
what's he know?

How to send a bill!

I'll get the door.

Suspect's family
entering house.

Send backup
to 400 Sycamore Street.

I have a feeling
old Mom's inside.

(MOANING)

AUDIENCE: Wheel of Fortune!

Ralph, Wheel of Fortune's on!

I'm still eating!

ANNOUNCER ON TV:
The world's most
popular game show...

Come on up, honey,
before the kids get home.

WOMAN: May I have a "P"?

PAT SAJAK: Mmm-hmm.
A couple of "P's."

Ralph!

What is it, Betty?

I think we've got
mice or something.

No, no, no.
We paid
the exterminator.

(BURPS)

(MOANING)

(MOUSE SQUEAKING)

(EXCLAIMING)

Betty?

(SCREAMING)

It's upstairs.

I'm going in. Over.

It's the door
on the left.

(SCOTTY MOANING)

Break it down, Dad.
Break it down!

Scotty, man...

Police! Freeze!

(GROANS)

Betty? Betty, answer me!

Ralph...

(SCREAMING)

Help! Help me!
Help me, please!
Please!

Help me, somebody!

(GROANS IN DISGUST)

Home, sweet home!
Everything's fine, kids.

I can't believe
I thought my own mother
was a murderess.

I'm kind of
disappointed
she isn't.

For a while there
it was like being
in the movies.

Anybody for dessert?
Mmm. Strawberries.

Let's go.

Dad, you said
it would be okay.
Make them go away.

This is embarrassing.

Just pay
no attention
to the police.

It's all
a terrible mistake.

Do you think
we'll get on
A Current Affair?

Sutphin family
proceeding west
on Seminary Avenue. Over.

Beverly ain't going
nowhere this time.

She's headed for church.

I say
we nail her.
Over.

CAPTAIN LUECKER
ON RADIO: Negative.

DA says no bust
until lab report is back

matching
suspect's fingerprints

on true crime book
with those on
scissors and fire poker.

REPORTER ON RADIO:
The senseless killing
last night of a Towson couple,

Ralph and Betty Sterner,

brings to a total
of four murders

police feel may have been
committed by Baltimore's
first serial killer.

Information
is still sketchy
at this point...

Beverly...

Not the Sterners!

Oh, it's a shame,

but they should have
brushed their teeth,
shouldn't they?

(GASPS)

REPORTER ON RADIO:
This just in.

Police lieutenant
Ronald Habbler

has publicly named a suspect
in the serial killer case,
and it's a shocker!

She, that's right,
she has been identified

as Beverly R. Sutphin
of 2815 Calverton Court...

Oh, really...

God. Now I'll never
get a boyfriend.

Beverly, I've read
all about this.
Is it menopause?

Oh, honey...

Tell me the truth, Mom.
Really, it's okay with me.

Are you a serial killer?

Chip, the only cereal
I know anything about
is Rice Krispies.

(ALL SCREAMING)

Don't worry, honey,
we're gonna get you
good psychiatric help.

(ALL MURMURING)

Well,
look at that.

And in the
house of God.

Who does
she think
she is?

Gus, Sloppy. Hi.

BOTH: Hi.

Chip!

Hey, what's up, Birdie?
Can you come...

We said no,
remember?

Birdie, please,
you can't talk
to him. Now, please...

Stay with us, honey.

She's awful!
She can't stay here.

Good morning, ladies.

So tell me, Mrs. Sutphin,
are you Serial Mom?

What?
No comment.

Serial Mom! Wow!

She's headed in, over.

(ALL MURMURING)

Please stand.

Blessed be God,
Father, Son
and Holy Spirit.

ALL: And blessed be
His kingdom,
now and forever.

Amen.

PRIEST: Hallelujah!
Christ has risen.

ALL: The Lord
is risen indeed.

Hallelujah.

PRIEST: Bless the Lord,
who forgiveth
all our sins...

ON RADIO:
This is Captain Luecker
from Homicide.

Lab reports confirm
Sutphin latent print
of index finger

on true-crime book

matches those latent prints
lifted from murder weapons.

Bingo, boys!
Bust the bitch!

Copy.

Jesus said
nothing to condemn
capital punishment

as he hung
on the cross,
did he?

ALL: No...

If ever there was a time
to go on record
against the death penalty,

wasn't it that night?

(ALL MURMURING IN AGREEMENT)

Capital punishment
is already the law
in the state of Maryland.

So what are we waiting for,
fellow Christians?
Let's just do it.

ALL: Amen!

How you doing?

PRIEST: All standing.

Let us pray and humbly
confess our sins
unto Almighty God.

ALL: Most merciful God,
we confess that we have
sinned against Thee,

by what we have done
and by what we have left
undone. We are truly sorry

and we humbly repent
so that we may
delight in Thy will

and walk in Thy ways
to the glory of Thy name.

Amen.

(SNEEZING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Beverly? Beverly!

(EXCLAIMS)

Misty? Beverly?

There she is!

EUGENE: Beverly!
Misty! Misty...

Misty! Come on...

You guys, come on!
Come on, come on, come on!

Please, Mrs. Sutphin.
Hurry... Get in...

We'll show them, Mom!
We'll go on 60 Minutes!

You know,
you're bigger than
Freddy and Jason now,

only you're
a real person!

Do you think
I need a lawyer?

You need
an agent.

An agent?

Hey! Hey!

Is your wife a murderess?
No comment!

Please, my wife is missing.
I'm worried sick about her!

Hey... Hey, Misty.

Just a couple of shots, okay?
I'm Howell Hawkins
from the Baltimore Sun.

Hi, Howell.

Misty Sutphin,
get in this car!

GRACEY: We're tailing
Sutphin husband
and daughter

but Serial Mom
is nowhere in sight.

She got away, boys!
God damn it! Find her!

In here, Mom.
But, Chip...

Come on, Mom,
I have to open...

Oh, now,
this is so silly.

Bye, Mom.

Customers! Get the door.

Good morning,
Mrs. Jenson.

Good morning.

Haven't you had
enough violence,
Chip Sutphin?

Turn that filth off.

Sorry, ma'am.

Do you have
the musical, Annie?

Sure do.
Did you bring
back Ghost Dad?

There you go.

I just love
Bill Cosby pictures.

Miss Jenson,
I've told you,

you have to rewind
the tapes
before returning them.

Why?

Because
it's the rules.

I don't feel like
rewinding them.

You see that sign?
It's a dollar fine
for not rewinding

and this time
I'm gonna charge you.
$2.99 plus $1 is $3.99.

Keep the change,
you son of a psycho!

What a bitch!

It's the influence
of all those family films.
Right, Mom?

Hey, Mom!
Mrs. Sutphin?

Mother? Mother?

Oh, shit!

You don't think
she would...
She wouldn't...

What's Miss Jenson's address?

Jenkins... Jenson.
Emma Lou Jenson,
19 Clark Avenue.

That's right up
the street.

Come on,
just in case.

Come on, Birdie,
let's go!

(DOG BARKING)

What is it, Sylvester?
A birdie?
Shh. Mommy's watching Annie.

(SINGING) The sun'll come out
Tomorrow

Bet your bottom
dollar that tomorrow

(DOG BARKING)

Quiet, Sylvester!
Nobody's there.

Come on,
lick Mommy's feet.

Get them all wet.

(SINGING) And the sorrow
Till there's none

Come on, Birdie.
Come on.

Number 19.

That's it.
Come on.

Over here!
Chip, over here!

MRS. JENSON: (SINGING)
Tomorrow

So you gotta hang on
Till tomorrow

Come what may

Come on...

Just thinking about
Tomorrow

Clears away the cobwebs
And the sorrow

Till there's none!

When I'm stuck with a day

That's gray
And lonely

I just stick out my chin
And grin and say

Get up there,
get up there.
Is she in there?

(SINGING) Oh!

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow

So you gotta hang on
Till tomorrow

Come what may

Tomorrow! Tomorrow!

I love you, tomorrow!

She's singing Annie.

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow

So you gotta hang on
Till tomorrow

Come what may

Tomorrow! Tomorrow!

I love you, tomorrow!

You're only a day away

(GRUNTING)

Rewind!

(GASPS)

(EXCLAIMING IN FEAR)

Oh, my God! No!

(BARKS)

(SCREAMS)

I saw blood,
and it's brown!

It's not red
like in the horror movies,
but brown!

Is Mom in there?
No!

It wasn't like
the gore movies
at all! It was real.

(SCOTTY PANTING)

Come on!
Birdie, let's cut
through here!

(GRUNTING)

Wear your seatbelt!
It's the law!

(EXCLAIMS)

Out, please.
What the fuck?

Yes, ma'am.

Dear God, I promise
I'll never watch
another sex film again!

I promise! I promise!

It's okay.

Dad! Dad...

Have you seen Mom?

No, have you?

Scotty?

Oh, my God!

Get in!

All units,
Serial Mom is headed
south on Keswick.

Proceed with caution.
She is armed
and fucking nuts!

(SIREN WAILING)

Oh, shit!

Mike! Mike!
Let me in, okay?

Hey! ID.

Can I give it
to you inside?

Hey, buddy,
nobody gets in
without ID.

Birth date?

December 14, 1972.

Please!

Okay, go ahead.

(LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(SINGING) I won't flinch
and I won't break a sweat

When I taste
the cyanide gas

Gas, gas

Only way
you're gonna
shut me up

(EXCLAIMING IN DELIGHT)

Hey!
Excuse me.

Excuse me.
Hey, look,
it's her.

Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Who?

It's the murder lady,
the one on TV.

Excuse me.
Cool.
Is she in a band?

Watch me wither
through the glass

Smiling as I sip
the last gas

Justifiable homicide

Almond blossom-scented cyanide

Gas chamber

The police are after me.
I beg your pardon.

Hey, hey,
hey, hey!

Hey...
You're Serial Mom.

Yes, I guess I am.

Well, come on in,
lady. Quick!

...you'll keep me down
Only way you think
you'll keep me down

Coming through.
Thank you.

(SCREAMING)

Help. Help!

Excuse me, please.

I think maybe
you better
lock the car.

Can't stop now.
Is my mom
in there?

Dad, now, look cool.
It's Hammerjacks.

Excuse me.

Kids! Put me down!
Put me down!

Your God says
thou shalt not kill

But here you are
dropping the pill

Legal system,
what a sham

Put me down!

Flying colors
on the final exam

Gas chamber

Only way
you're gonna
shut me up

Buckle up, Scotty!

(SCREAMS)

Oh! Mrs. Sutphin! No!
I'll wear my seatbelt,
Mrs. Sutphin.

Holy fucking shit!

(ALL CHEERING)

(ALL CHEERING LOUDER)

Hi!

Move it!
You're under arrest!

Honey?
Shut up.

(EXCLAIMING)

ALL: (CHANTING)
Serial Mom!
Serial Mom!

Serial Mom!
Serial Mom! Serial Mom!
Serial Mom! Serial Mom!

Serial Mom! Serial Mom!
Serial Mom! Serial Mom!
Serial Mom! Serial Mom!

REPORTER 1: Can she
get a fair jury?

REPORTER 2: Misty!
Look this way!

Please just
let us through.

...your wife's innocence,
Mr. Sutphin?
Please!

How does it feel
to have a killer mom?

Mr. Sutphin,
how does
your wife feel?

Beverly is devastated

by the charges
against her.

FEMALE INMATES: (SINGING)
Just now I found a peanut

Found a peanut, right now

Cracked it open,
cracked it open

Cracked it open
just now...

Didn't I see you
at Hinckley?

I was there.
I thought so.

My husband thought
I was crazy.

She is.

Today we're covering
day one of the trial
of Serial Mom...

WOMAN: Look!
Here they come!

Stop the violence?
What is this?
Who are you working for?

REPORTER: What do you think
her chances are?

OFFICER: Excuse me!
Mr. Sutphin! Coming through.

Quiet in the courtroom.
This court is now in session.

Oh, hello, jury people.
I'm Beverly Sutphin.

Oh, I like
your jacket.

JUDGE: Mrs. Sutphin,
I said quiet.

Honey, hi!
Oh, kids, are you doing
your homework?

JUDGE: You are accused
of multiple murders.

This is a court of law,
not a coffee klatch.

Mr. Nazlerod,
your opening statement.

Thank you, Your Honor.

Good morning,
ladies and gentlemen
of the jury.

My name is Timothy Nazlerod
and I hope
we can be friends.

I have to
tell you
at the outset,

however, that
this is not
a pretty case.

This defendant,
Beverly Sutphin,

is a woman
evil to the core,

a rotten apple,
if you will,

who beyond
any reasonable doubt
killed six innocent people.

That's right,
she murdered them.

Well, they sort of
deserved it.
Shh.

Evilly and with
full premeditation,

with a speeding car,
a fire poker,

(JURY GASPS)

A pair of scissors,
a toppled air conditioner,

the lethal flames
from an aerosol can

and yes,
even a leg
of lamb.

(JURY GASPS)

Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,
this defendant,

this Beverly Sutphin,
she is not a woman.

(BANGING TABLE)

She is a monster!

JUDGE: Defense attorney,
your opening statement
for the jury?

And let's not
take all day, either.

(SIGHS)

Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm Herbie Hebden

and you and I
have a tough job
ahead of us.

I've known
the Sutphin family
for 16 years.

Dad, Eugene,
is my dentist.

Chip and Misty played
with my own children.

But I found out
that I don't know
Beverly Sutphin at all.

Psst.

No one really knows
Beverly Sutphin.
You see...

Psst.

Beverly Sutphin
is insane.

(ALL GASPING)

Yes, she committed
these terrible crimes,

but that doesn't
make her
a bad person.

Your Honor,
I would like
to make a motion.

I wish to fire
my attorney
and defend myself.

(ALL GASPING)

Beverly Sutphin
is not guilty by
reason of insanity.

Your Honor, I have the right
to defend myself.
I've read the law books.

Ware v. State, 1964
and Schuette v. State, 1962.

Mrs. Sutphin, the defendant
who has herself for a lawyer
has a fool for a client.

Counsel, approach the bench.

I don't think
this is a good idea.

Oh, yeah.
Oh, no.
It's okay.

That's my ruling.
Thank you very much.

Mrs. Sutphin,
I have no legal choice

but to let you
take over as
your own attorney.

How do you plead?

Not guilty,
Your Honor.

(ALL GASPING)

(GAVEL POUNDING)
JUDGE: Order! Order in
the courtroom.

Quiet down
or I'll clear
this room out!

I call to the stand
Dottie Hinkle.

Raise your
right hand,
please.

Do you hereby
solemnly swear or affirm
under the penalties of perjury

that the testimony
you are about to give
will be the truth,

the whole truth
and nothing but the truth?
I do.

Thank you.

Mrs. Hinkle,
did you ever receive
any obscene telephone calls?

I certainly did.

And did you
recognize the voice
of the caller?

Not at first.

But then I heard
the same inflection

in a voice
at a social gathering.

And I put
two and two
together.

Whose voice
was it, Dottie?

It was her,
Beverly Sutphin,
sitting right there.

I'm lucky
I'm not dead.

Mrs. Hinkle,
do you drink?

No, I don't.

So you were not drunk

when you received
those allegedly obscene
phone calls?

I certainly was not.

Now, you mean to tell me
that the day I came
over to Mrs. Ackerman's,

the day you claim
you recognized my voice,

you were not drinking?

One beer with lunch
is hardly drinking.

So you do drink?

Socially.
I'll have a beer.

So you admit
you just lied.

No, I don't,
you bitch!

(ALL GASPING)

Watch your mouth,
Mrs. Hinkle.

(INAUDIBLE)

Did you see that?
She just said,
"Fuck you" to me!

(ALL GASPING)

Let the record show
I am merely standing here.

Fuck you,
too, you whore.

JUDGE: I'm warning you,
Mrs. Hinkle.

One more obscenity
and I'm gonna charge you
with contempt of court.

Mrs. Hinkle,
are you insane?

No, I'm not,
you motherfucker!

(ALL GASPING)

JUDGE: Mrs. Hinkle,
I find you
guilty of contempt

and I sentence you
to a $1,000 fine
and five days in jail!

Cocksucker!
Lock her up!

You lousy
pig fucker!
You bitch!

You ugly whore! Let go!

(GAVEL POUNDING)

Come on,
they're going
quickly!

"Serial Mom"
t-shirts.
Get them here.

$12, while
they last,
plus tax.

MasterCard and Visa.
I'll take two.

All right, ma'am.

I wish they'd had
something like this
at the Kennedy kid trial.

Sign right here.
Signature
and home phone.

You've read
about it
in the paper!

Serial Mom.
She's Beverly Sutphin

and she's my mom!

Listen, you tell
Geraldo to go
to hell, okay?

I don't care what
Jeffrey MacDonald's
people got. He's old news.

We fly first class
or we don't do the show.
It's that simple.

Are you
Chip Sutphin?

Hold on a sec.

Yeah, I am,
but you're gonna have to
speak with my agent.

Your mom
killed my brother.
Come on!

Come on...

God...
Jeez, man!

It's cool.
It's cool,
all right?

You're Carl's brother,
right?

That's right.

I'm sorry he's dead.

But have you
signed off yet?

You mean
for TV or print?

TV, man. Suzanne Somers
is interested
in playing my mom.

Suzanne Somers?

Who's gonna
play my brother?

I wonder if
Jason Priestley's
available?

Miss Hodges,
could you describe
the car?

The one you saw
run over Mr. Stubbins
in cold blood.

I seen that movie.
It was on cable.

Miss Hodges...
Please, Miss Hodges.

Could you...
Could you describe...

(LU-ANN GIGGLING)

Miss Hodges.

Excuse me.

Look, man,
like I told you,
it was blue.

The car,
not the driver.

(LU-ANN GIGGLING)

Look,
it was
just blue.

You know,
like, blue.

(ALL MURMURING)

There you go.
Enjoy my book.

Could you sign it
"To A Future Serial Mom"?

Sure.
You think
she did it?

I have
reasonable doubt.

I feel like
killing a couple
people myself.

Eight dollars, ma'am.

And these books,
these disgusting books

that so lovingly describe
the sadistic acts
of serial killers,

where did you
find these books,
Detective?

In Beverly Sutphin's
trashcan.

(ALL GASPING)

You may
cross-examine,
Mrs. Sutphin.

Thank you.

(INAUDIBLE)

Detective Gracey,
if I were to look
through your trash,

what reading materials
would I find?

Objection! Immaterial!

You may answer.

Time, Sports Illustrated,
National Geographic.

My wife gets
Ladies' Home Journal.

Yet, last night,
we found in your trashcan
this magazine,

Chicks with Dicks.

(ALL LAUGHING)

God damn you.
That's trespassing!

Never judge a person
by what they read,
Detective.

Your witness,
Mr. Nazlerod.

I am a married man.
I hope they give you
the gas chamber!

(ALL MURMURING)

The jury is instructed
to ignore the outburst
of the witness.

I call
to the stand
Rosemary Ackerman.

Now, did you ever see
the fire poker again

after you left it

with Mrs. Sutphin?

Yes, thirty minutes later.
It was covered
with blood and gore

and Carl Pageant
was dead.

No further questions.

Mrs. Ackerman,
when you left me
at the Antique Mart,

where did you go?

Browsing.

Did Carl Pageant buy
something you wanted?

I didn't want
that Fabergé egg.
It was chipped.

Carl Pageant died
because of you,
didn't he?

No. I would never
hurt anybody.

It was your Premiere magazine
with the letters
cut out, wasn't it?

Yes, but I lent it...

And they were
your scissors
that were found

in Mrs. Sterner's
stomach,
weren't they?

Yes. But I didn't...

Mrs. Ackerman...

Do you recycle?

No.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

I don't
have room
in my kitchen.

Detective Pike,
did you then proceed
to the stage area

inside Hammerjacks?

Yes, I did.
Scotty Barnhill
was on fire

and he fell
to his knees
in flames.

Would this be
what you saw?

Yes, sir.
A real barbecue.

May I show this photo
to the jury,
Your Honor?

Chip, she's here.

They're entitled
to see Mrs. Sutphin's
handiwork.

(ALL MURMURING)

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Your Honor,

may the photograph
please be received

into evidence
and shown
to the jury?

Oh, yeah. Yes, yes.

(EXCLAIMS SOFTLY)

Jeez, that really is
Suzanne Somers.

Oh, I loved you
in Three's Company.

No further questions.

I call to the stand
Marvin Pickles.

Mr. Pickles!
Mr. Marvin Pickles!

Be right out.

The judge
is waiting
for you.

Okay.

Come on,
get moving.

NAZLEROD:
State your name, please.

Marvin A. Pickles.

Mr. Pickles,
were you in
the men's room

at the Antique Trade Mart

on Saturday, May 15?

Yes, I was.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

(WHISPERING) Oh, hi.
What was the rating?
Well, what was the share?

Did you see
anyone in the booth
next to you?

(MR. PICKLES MUMBLING)

Excuse me, I...

Mr. Pickles, did you
see anyone in the booth
next to you?

I'm not sure... I...

What do you mean
you're not sure?

There was nobody next to me.

Mr. Pickles,
didn't you tell
the Grand Jury

that you
looked down
and you saw

a pair of ladies' shoes
in the booth next to you?

I just said
what you
told me to.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Perjury
is a serious offense,
Mr. Pickles.

I... I made it all up!
I've never seen
Beverly Sutphin in my life!

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

You'll pay for this,
Marvin Pickles.

I'm turning your file
over to the vice squad.

The prosecution rests.

The prosecution
has proven nothing,
Your Honor.

The defense
rests also!

JUDGE: Order.
Order in the courtroom.

We'll take
a 10-minute recess.

Attorneys,
be ready with
your closing arguments.

Well, I feel that
Beverly Sutphin

is an innocent woman,
wrongly accused.

A normal housewife trapped
in a nightmare of
circumstantial evidence.

There she is,
Henrietta Lee Lucas,
Joan Wayne Gacy.

A new face
in the deck of
serial killer trading cards.

Find her guilty on
all six counts of
first-degree murder.

I only hope I can portray
Serial Mom's life
on the TV screen

with the proper dignity
that this feminist
heroine deserves.

Look at me.
I am as normal
as all of you.

But I have been
framed by the police

and perjured against
by the very people
I thought were my friends.

All I ask of you...
Stop that!

...is that you have
the courage
to find me innocent

of these terribly
untrue charges.

All I ask
is that you
find me

innocent
of these terribly
untrue charges.

Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury, have you
reached a verdict?

Yes, we have, Your Honor.

We find the defendant
not guilty of all charges.

Way to go, Beverly!

Oh! I'm coming home!

What should I do?

I don't know.
Bring her home,
I guess.

No more violence.
No more violence.

You think
she'll like me?

Just be nice to her and try...
Try not to get on her nerves.

WOMAN 1: She got off.

WOMAN 2: She's innocent!

Congratulations,
Beverly.
Will you be staying...

Hello, Baltimore!
I love you.

Oh, I love you, too.

Thank you all for coming.
Hi, there, LA.
Hello, Cleveland.

MAN: Hey, Serial Mom!

Well, hello, New York!

REPORTER: Beverly,
who does
your hair?

Excuse me!

Would you hold
these for me,
honey?

Excuse me.

Excuse me, Mr. Sutphin,
can I ask you
a question, please?

Did the system work?
Do you think it worked?

Excuse me.
The rights
have been sold.

We did it.
We set her free!

I knew she was innocent
right from the beginning.

You can't wear
white shoes
after Labor Day.

That's not
true anymore.

Yes, it is.
Didn't your mother ever
tell you?

(GRUNTS)

Now you know.

No, please.
Fashion has changed.

No, it hasn't.

REPORTER:
Are you surprised,
Mr. Sutphin?

No comment.
Beverly?

Here I am, honey.

Beverly, hi!
I'm Suzanne Somers.

Hello!

Mrs. Sutphin, can we get
a shot of you
and Suzanne Somers?

Absolutely,
stand here,
Beverly.

Guys,
what about a nice
two-shot, okay?

No, Suzanne,
really, I'd be much...

Beverly, Beverly,
stand right here!

Okay, smile,
Serial Mom!

Suzanne Somers,
this is my bad side!

(ALL GASPING)