All language subtitles for Adalynn.2023.1080p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264

When
a polar bear gives birth,

she typically has two cubs.

To keep them safe
from the dangers of the world,

she'll stay with them,
in the den,

until they can survive
on their own.

It's a sacrifice she makes.

Because if something
were to happen to her,

then her cubs
would surely die.

But if something
were to happen to her cubs,

what would become
of the mother?

Could she live with it?

Ah! I can't! I can't!

- Almost there!
- I can't!

- I can see the head.
- I can't!

I love you, okay?
We're a team--

You can do it, baby. Come on!

That's it!

[distorted noises

Elizabeth Aaron Bolland,

born at 6:36 p.m.,
two weeks ahead of schedule.

Six pounds, eight ounces.

That doesn't sound like much,
but to me, it's everything.

And now
you're my whole world.

I would do anything
to protect you.

My perfect baby girl.

I'm gonna be the kind of mother
for you that I never had.

You're going to have
a great childhood.

You have two parents
who love you very much.

When I met your father,
it was love at first sight.

A year later,
we had the perfect wedding,

and found the perfect house,

in the perfect neighborhood,
in the perfect town.

And now we have you.

I just didn't know
how exhausted I would be.

You did it.

Sit down.

I'm gonna
get you some water, okay?

Actually, I just...

think I'm gonna
go lay down upstairs.

Of course.
Whatever you want.

-I'm sorry.
-Mm-mm. Don't be.

You go rest. Okay?
I'll take care of everything.

You go on.
I'll be right up.

- Mm-hmm.
- Okay?

- I love you.
- I love you, too.

All I wanna do is sleep.

Life used to be brunches
and selfies on the beach.

I just need to find
a new normal.

A new perfect.

Right after
I get some sleep.

I don't know how people
can do this every two hours.

Bill?

I guess I'm lucky that
I don't have to do it alone.

While I spent
the last eight and a half months

suffering from mood swings,
bizarre cravings,

and constant discomfort,

Bill was nothing
but attentive.

I guess
he's earned a break.

From what I hear,
we won't get another one

until our kid grows up
and moves out.

I haven't taken my medicine
for a year,

so now I can get

a little obsessive
about things.

I mean,
who doesn't, right?

Who doesn't?

Sometimes
it's the little things.

You gotta be shitting me.

I check the locks.

Sometimes a lot.

And I'm sure to close
every single door in the house.

Setting the TV volume
to an even number,

or rearranging ornaments
and place settings.

God, don't get me started
on making sure

all the photos in the house
are level.

But sometimes
it's a little more than that.

Sometimes I get
this irrational fear

that someone is watching me.

Or stalking me.

I know
it's an irrational fear, but...

doesn't stop me
from checking everything.

I don't know what an extreme
case would look like for me,

but God,
I hope I never find out.

I haven't taken my medicine.

It's only when I know
that everything's perfect

that I can finally be calm.

But when is anything
ever perfect?

Doesn't stop me
from trying, though.

Everyone told me
that having a child

would change my life forever.

I guess I didn't realize

how much Elizabeth
would change mine.

Oh...

I just woke up

from the worst nightmare
I've ever had.

God, it felt so real.

I could hear her crying,
but something wasn't right.

I didn't feel
connected to her at all.

But I can't think
about that now.

Back to real life.

My cub needs her mother.

What?

Nothing.
It's just, we did it.

We have a baby.

So, uh, did you get
some sleep last night?

I slept like a baby.

As in up every two hours,

crabby,
kinda wanting my mommy.

I feel like I just woke up
after a college bender.

Mm...

So, uh,
start your meds yet?

Uh, not yet.

I just, um-- I'm not sure,
after last time.

Well, the new pills
should be okay,

it's the, uh, blue ones.

They're in my purse.
I keep forgetting I have 'em.

Those ones
are a little different.

They should kick in--
in about ten to 15 minutes.

You know, I, uh--

I can withdraw
from this conference.

Bill, no.

This conference
is too important.

If I need anything,
I'll call Cici.

Okay? We're good here.

So you are going.

You sure?

Yeah.

It's only a week.

We won't even...

notice you're gone.

Plus I, um...

I was thinking about

doing some painting
this weekend.

Yeah?

Hmm. You inspired?

-I have some ideas.
-Hmm.

You, uh, been checking
the locks again.

Sometimes.

Heard you counting, too,
Adalynn.

Bill, I'm perfect.

Okay,
but if you need anything,

anything at all,
you call me or Cici.

-Or heaven forbid your mother.
-Mm.

- Things will never be that bad.
- Thank God.

Um, is that the new crib?

No, it's no--
hasn't arrived yet,

it's on back order.

So I pulled the old one
outta storage.

Oh, shit!

Babe,
I meant to take that off.

I'm sorry.

Babe, I'm sorry about earlier
with the crib

and you going
into labor, it's...

Just-- just slipped my mind,
like an idiot.

It's fine.

You just caused
a little freak-out.

But I got through it.

Do you want to talk
about it?

-Adalynn? Adalynn?
-Huh?

Oh, um...

I'm okay.

Spent a little quality time
with the stress ball earlier,

so I'm okay.

Really.

Do you wanna talk
about it?

That's my ride.

Okay.

-Love you.
-Love you.

Bill.

Don't you wanna give
your newborn daughter

- a kiss goodbye?
- Of course.

Bye.

Hey.

What's wrong?

I don't wanna
leave you alone.

I know.

But Elizabeth and I
will be okay.

Have a safe trip.

-Bye.
-Bye.

And here come the waterworks.

"Baby blues"
is what they call it.

Add that
to my list of problems.

I just hope
this is the worst of it

and it passes soon.

Hello?

What do...

- Hello?
- Hey,

I've been calling you, girl.

I know.

I'm sorry,
I'm just still...

-adjusting.
-I forgive you.

And I'm so sorry
I didn't make it back

in time to be there.

You were supposed to wait
'til I got back.

-Hey, how was it?
-Childbirth?

About like I expected.

Only 100 times
more painful.

Hey.

You know, my hormones were
really outta control, remember?

And I could not have gotten
through that without you.

And I'm here for you, too.

-Thank you.
-Okay.

Well, sweetie,
what are you doing today?

I was thinking that
we could get takeout

from Croso's
and catch up.

I'm dying to meet the baby.

Oh, um,

we're not really up
for visitors just yet.

-You sure you're okay?
-Yeah.

I'm fine.
Uh, everything's perfect.

Well, i-- if you're not,
there's no shame in it.

I mean, nobody's really
perfect, you know?

We'll be fine.

As long as we can survive
until Bill gets home,

-everything will be perfect.
-Survive?

Hey, Adalynn,
what do you mean?

I have to go
pump now, Cici.

Thank you for calling.

"Nobody's really
perfect, you know?"

Who does she think she is?

Ow.

I am aching for a nap.

That sure would be easier
with Bill around.

But his career is riding
on this conference.

It's not his fault
Elizabeth came early.

Oh, Bill,
what did you do?

Bill told me
he'd ordered some things

for the baby,

but he didn't tell me
he went overboard.

My sweet husband told me
to put all the packages aside

and that he'd deal with them
when he gets home.

I am so tired

and this baby
won't shut up!

God, shut up.

Shut up, shut up,
shut up, shut up, shut up!

I could use something
to take the edge off.

A glass of wine,
maybe two.

Hell, why not the whole
fucking bottle?

But I won't.

I won't contaminate my milk.

No meds and no wine.

I guess I just need to find
other ways to relax

and feel like my old self.

However briefly.

I still have painting,
I suppose.

As obsessed
as I can be with even numbers,

locked doors,
and symmetrical designs,

painting
is the only outlet I have

to break all my own rules.

I can be free

and express myself in ways
that I can't otherwise.

Not even while journaling.

It's my true therapy.

I can create a world
where things can be perfect,

just as they should be.

Perfection may be out of reach
in my daily life,

but not for my subjects.

It scares me sometimes

how easily I can get lost
in my own fantasy.

I get so lost sometimes

that I fear
I'll never find my way back.

Sometimes.

It's fine, Adalynn.
It's just in your head.

It's just you. Nobody's here.
Nobody's here.

God,
none of this feels normal.

Why aren't we bonding?

What's wrong with you, Adalynn?

She's just a baby.

Come on, you can do it.
Just fall asleep, Elizabeth.

I can't take
any more crying.

It's been over
an hour now.

Please,
just go to bed for Mama.

Just go to bed.

I wonder if other new mothers
feel like this.

I just can't take
the screaming anymore.

Please, please tell me
this is gonna end one day.

It can't always
be like this.

How's my little angel?

Fussy as hell, so is the baby.

How's the conference?

It's a little
overwhelming, to be honest.

I never have an issue speaking
in front of large crowds.

I mean, even I get, you know,
stage fright sometimes.

Apparently so.

So, uh, you doing okay?

Yes, Bill, I'm fine.

I'm a tough...

-girl.
-I know you are.

Oh, you know, uh--
you won't believe this.

Walter Fishman is

finally retiring.

- What? Why now?
- Yeah.

I mean, he's only 100.

He's probably got what,
50 more good years in him?

He's 75, Adalynn.
Can you imagine?

Don't you ever let me go
that long, you promise?

I promise. 70 tops.

Ugh, that's the doorbell.

Probably more
of your impulse buys.

Probably.

Listen,
when the pack and play comes,

just let it-- set it aside.

I'll handle it when I get home.
All right?

We'll see,
I have a list of other things

for you to do first.

- I love you.
- I love you.

Shh! Shh!

Shh.

Oh, my God.

One, two, three,
four, five, six...

Sometimes nothing works.

And when the pain
doesn't go away,

I feel helpless.

Like I'm all out of options.

Meanwhile,
it's more than just my brain.

The headaches are back
and something else seems off.

This really is a lot for me.

I feel like I'm heading
into a downward spiral.

Meanwhile, Bill's probably
rubbing elbows with millionaires

over champagne and caviar.

Okay, that's not fair.
He did offer to stay.

He really wanted to.

I could see it in his eyes
when he left.

His concern.
And sadness, perhaps.

Maybe that's why
I pushed him to go.

Maybe I needed to prove to him
that I could handle this.

Maybe I needed
to prove to myself

that I could handle this.

"'Anything could be in there,'
said the playful puffin.

'It could be a slippery fish,
or a wisecracking walrus,

or even
a water-wading whale.'

The happy little harp seal

pulled himself closer to the ice
for a better look.

'If I could use a last wish
for anything,

anything in the world,'
said the pup.

'I know exactly
who I would wish to--'"

Come on.

Breathe, breathe,
breathe, breathe.

Come on.

Breathe. Come on.

Now, try to relax.

A little higher than normal,
but nothing too bad.

Is this really necessary?

I-- I only called
about the baby.

This is true.
But the baby's fine.

And true fact,
the well-being of a baby

often depends
on the well-being of its mother.

Right,
but are you sure, though?

About the choking?

Oh, yes.
It's very common.

Um, infants are born
with a hyper gag reflex.

Um, when it happens,
just let it pass.

Um, adjust
the baby's position,

maybe your own,
and resume feeding.

Yeah, I-- I knew that,
I just, um...

I just forgot.

Uh...

It just--
it all happened so fast,

you know, like,
in that instant, it all--

it all could've just--

I'm sorry,
you probably think I'm crazy.

I could tell you stories
about what lengths

I've seen mothers go to
to protect their young.

It happens in nature,
you know.

Um, polar bears,
for example.

The moms
usually have two cubs

and they'd sacrifice anything
to keep 'em alive.

So, how are you feeling?

Are-- are you getting
enough sleep?

- I mean, does any parent?
- Touché.

Are you eating,
exercising, meditating?

Uh, I did start writing
in my journal again.

It helps.

I think.

Good, good.

And you're staying off
the prescriptions?

Uh, yeah. Yes.
I-- I haven't taken any.

Um, I don-- I don't want to.

You know, a-- after last time.

Adalynn, that was a completely
different situation.

Yeah.

Because I aborted him.

It wasn't your fault.
The-- the-- the-- the fetus--

It's Miles.
His name was Miles.

Miles had
severe cardiac abnormalities.

It was no longer
a viable pregnancy.

You know, we--
we took the best option.

It wasn't your fault.

I know. I know.

I'm sorry, I just...

I think about it...

a lot.

Everything was so perfect.

I don't understand.

Why him?

Was it the meds?

Was it me?

Was it something
that I did?

There wasn't anything
that anyone could have done.

He, uh...

he would've been due
six years ago last week.

He would've been six.

I sometimes wonder wha--
what my life would've been like

if he would've lived.

I think about it every day.

You shouldn't do that
to yourself.

Besides,
if he'd lived,

who knows how
it would've affected your life?

You could have missed out on

this beautiful bundle of joy
right here.

Sure, but...

it's not all
I think about.

I also wonder what my life
would've been like...

without either of them.

And then I get to thinking,

"Did I will that to happen?"

No. Ab-- absolutely not.

What if I did?

Stop!
You loved your baby.

Miles.

You love
both your children.

Uh, you're just having
an episode.

It is just so much harder
without the pills.

You know, I--

I wish I could just take one.

At least just one, Doctor.

That-- that's not in your best
interest right now.

All right?

I know it's hard,
but this will pass.

I'm just so afraid
that something might happen.

- Like what?
- I don't know.

Sometimes things just happen,
you know?

Or--
or what if I do something?

Are you afraid you may harm
yourself or your baby?

No. No, no.

Have you been seeing things?

You would tell me, right?

Yes, yeah.

Yes, of course, Doctor.
I just wondered, is all.

Okay.

Well, remember that
there's a after-hours number

you can call,
uh, if you need to.

And in the meantime,
I can assure you

that your baby
is in perfect health.

And you have nothing to fear
but fear itself.

Drink the whole bottle
for Mommy

without scaring her
half to death, all right?

No more scares for Mommy.

Oh, no.
Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no. Oh, no.

I feel like
I'm starting to unravel.

I'm seeing things.
The worst things.

I've read about this,
it's not uncommon.

God, I wish I had someone
to talk to about this.

But if I can just make it
a few more days,

Bill will be home

and we can deal with this
together.

Just hold on, Adalynn.
We can get through this.

Just a little bit longer.

One, two, three,

four, five, six, seven,
eight, nine, ten.

Fucking toy!

It was
probably just a nightmare, babe.

It wasn't a nightmare, Bill.

I'm just saying
it's 3:30 in the morning.

Di-- Somebody was trying
to break into our house,

it happened.

Otherwise, how do you explain
the broken wine glass?

I didn't dream that.

-I don't know.
-I'm calling the police.

Oh, whoa, whoa.
Hold on a second.

Let's just take a minute,
all right?

Let's think about this.

There has to be--

has to be
a logical explanation, right?

You said
the doors were unlocked.

Yes. And it was opened.

And no one entered
the house, right?

No.
I mean, I don't think so.

But I heard--

I-- I thought I heard--

Adalynn?

I didn't see anyo--
anybody come in, but--

-they could have.
-How?

What?

What difference
does that make?

You're checking locks again.

When was the last time
you checked before that?

I don't know.

1:00, 1:30, why?

And were they locked?

-And they were locked?
-Yes.

Exactly.

You're saying

they were locked.

How could they be unlocked?

They couldn't be, right?

Adalynn?

Maybe they picked the locks
or something.

I don't know.

And what about
the animals downstairs?

What animals, Adalynn?

The-- the--
the ceramic animals, Bill.

The-- the-- the penguins,
the polar bears.

They were all mixed up
and facing different ways.

And I thought
maybe I imagined it, but--

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.

Hold on. You imagined it?

After tonight--

Somebody has been
in our house, Bill.

Look, I saw what I saw.
Okay?

Why don't you believe me?

Listen, I do believe you.

I believe you heard something,
but I don't believe--

That is not what I meant.

Listen, I'm coming home.

All right?
I'll come home.

-I'll catch the next flight out.
-Bill.

No.

Well, then tell me,

what the fuck am I supposed
to do, Adalynn?

Please, please.
I'm out-- I'm outta answers.

You have to finish.

I'm sorry.

Just haven't gotten
any sleep and--

I just-- I guess
I'm just preaching to the choir.

Okay, listen.

I'm gonna call security.

I'm gonna have him come by,
check on things.

If anything else happens,

you call the police.

Yeah.

Okay. Sure.

Okay. Good.

I'm gonna try
and get some sleep.

Good. Yeah.
Get some rest.

Oh, and please take your pills
if you haven't yet.

All right?

-I love you.
-I love you, too.

Hello?

- Hey.
- Hey.

I just got off the phone
with, uh, the security office.

What'd they say?

They didn't find anything.

The manager said there were
some new kids in the complex.

They were probably
just screwing around.

Screwing around?

They're gonna do extra patrol
for a couple of days.

That was the best
they can do.

I'm sorry,
didn't have any better news.

Whatever, Bill.

I'll call you later.
Love you.

I feel like
I'm losing my mind.

I'm starting to lose grip
on reality.

God, maybe Bill was right.

Maybe this is all in my head

and I should just
get back on the meds.

But I can't. Not yet.

If I do I-- I don't know
what they'll do to me.

Please, no...

Wait, wait, go back.

The gun safe was open?

I must have left it unlocked
when I opened it the other day.

- Opened for what?
- I just...

wanted to see it.

You know, make sure
it was there, in case--

Damn it, Adalynn.

Thank God--
thank God you're okay.

But, I mean, did you at least
call the police?

Yeah, they're on their way.

Okay. That's good.

- You sorry?
- What?

Are you sorry
that you didn't believe me?

I never said
I didn't believe you.

I'll see
if I can catch a red-eye.

No, Bill,
you're almost done.

Everything's perfect.

- Are you sure?
- Yes, I'm sure.

Okay. Well, I'm gonna call
that security office.

I'm gonna rip them
a fucking new one.

In the meantime,
I want you to call the maid

and-- and see
if she can make a special trip.

I gave her the week off.

Her daughter
has the flu, remember?

Oh, shit!

That's right.
Okay. How about this?

Go ahead and call my mom
and she'll stay with you

- 'til I get back, all right?
- No, no, no.

I said I'm fine. Okay?

Adalynn...

I'm perfectly capable
of handling this by myself.

I know how
to take care of my baby.

Our baby.

I'm gonna finish cleaning.

Maybe give the baby a bath.

-I'll see you Sunday.
-No, Adalynn.

Adalynn, stay on the phone.
Adalynn?

Bill, I said
I don't wanna talk right--

Hello?

You're all gonna die.

Look, I'll put in the report,

but without a description
and no forced entry,

there's not a whole lot
we can do right now.

Okay, but what about
the phone calls?

-We'll run the number.
-So that's it?

I'm sorry. I-- I wish
there was more we could do.

Look,
if you can think of anything,

give us a call, okay?

The best thing
about picking up the pieces

after completely falling apart

is that it gives you
a sense of control again.

You can rebuild things
however you want them.

I spent the last few days
losing my shit,

but I knew
I couldn't stay there.

And look,

this terrible thing
that happened,

I survived it,
and I will continue to.

I have to keep it together
for my family.

So, we're starting over.

Everything can feel like
new again.

Good. Great, even.

In a word,
well, you know...

perfect.

Except...

it's not perfect,
is it?

You can never put things
back together like they were.

And it can happen again.

I can't keep this up forever.

I know
I'm not fooling anybody.

I'm losing it.

Kill them all!

Do it.

I'm sorry.

I have to.

No!

No.

No! No, no!

No!

Why are you doing this?

You can't have us.

Cici.

Shit! No!

It's okay. It's okay.

One, two, three,
four, five...

One, two, three,
four, five...

Mommy!

Wake up, Mommy. Wake up.

Who's there?

Huh?

- How'd you get into my house?
- Silly, Mommy.

Stop playing.
Come cuddle with me.

Miles?

Hello?

You're not my son.

Miles, he...

...he wasn't born.

And yet, here I am.

No.

We lost you.

You didn't lose me, Mommy.

I wasn't perfect,
so you killed me.

- No!
- Remember?

No!

Just like
you killed all your family.

The pills?

These are the new ones.

They were in my purse.

But I-- I moved them,
didn't I?

Sorry I couldn't save you.

They should kick in
in about ten to 15 minutes.

No, you're not...

You're all right.

You're fine.

It's okay.

Elizabeth.

It worked.

We made it, my love.

Ready to see the world,
sunshine?

Bill!

Whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, baby.

Put the gun down, babe.

Bill?

Put the gun down.
Come here.

What happened here, Adalynn?
Adalynn, let go.

-What happened?
-What?

Adalynn,
what did you do?

No. No, I--
It wa-- it wasn't like this.

-I-- I-- I cleaned.
-What the fuck!

-Have you been drinking?
-No, no.

It was the break-in, Bill.

-It wa--
-Look at this shit.

Baby powder
fucking everywhere.

Where--
What's Elizabeth eating, huh?

Look at me. Look at me.

You're not even taking
your pills, are you?

-No.
-What?

The-- the doctor
told me not to, Bill.

What are you talking about,
Adalynn?

The doctor, he came
to check on Elizabeth

and he told me not to so that
I wouldn't hurt her.

Adalynn,
I am your doctor.

You fucking insisted on it.

What the fuck is this shit!

It's a fucking mess.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Adalynn, you knew--

you knew having the baby
would exacerbate your condition.

You knew this.

Look at me.
You're dehydrated.

- When was the last time you ate?
- Stop. Stop!

When was the last time
you had water besides this--

I don't know.
I don't know!

You promised you'd tell me.

You promised me and Elizabeth.

-You promised us.
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It's okay.
It's okay. I'm sorry.

It's okay. It's okay.

Where's Elizabeth,
Ad-- Adalynn?

-What?
-Our kid?

-Where's our kid at?
-No, no, no, no.

-Bill. Bill, please come here.
-Stop it!

- Come here, please. It's fine.
- Stop it!

Don't go in there.

- Oh, no!
- No!

Oh, God, no.

No, not our baby.

-No.
-I'm sorry.

No!

Another delusion.
And the worst one yet.

I went right over the edge.

When thoughts
of harming my daughter evolved

to harming myself,

I realized that losing her
and Miles would be too much.

I couldn't bear that.

But I think it's over.

I think the pill--

I hope it worked.

I guess I never really
dealt with my grief before.

I didn't know how.

It just became easier
for me to take pills,

fixate on obsessive behaviors,
and let reality fade away.

But I think I can finally
just let things be.

"Oh, colored leaves
are on the ground."

I see now how
unsustainable perfection is.

I was never perfect.

There's no such thing.

There's just life.

And when living it,
shit happens sometimes.

Whether pointless and mundane,

or in a way that's cruel
and earth-shattering.

And when you're dealt
a hand like that,

I think
you're left with a choice.

You can find a way
to live with it,

or you can let it
destroy you.

Rather, you can destroy yourself
and everything about you.

Everything in your life.

It sounds like an easy choice,
but sometimes it's not.

I, like many others,
couldn't trust my brain

to tell me the truth.

And what's worse...

I couldn't tell anyone
what I was going through.

What would people say,

if I told them
what I saw and felt?

They'd say I was crazy.

They'd call me a monster.

Maybe they'd even try
and take Elizabeth.

But I'm not a monster.

I'm a mother,
like so many others,

who went through
some serious postpartum shit

and can't even talk about it.

We keep our mouths shut
to avoid judgment.

So we won't be labeled unfit.

We ignore our own health
to keep this deadly secret.

But sometimes
people need help, too.

And, God, do I wish

it was easier to ask for.

Talk about a perfect world.

Hey, girl.

But we have to try.

We have to open up
to the people who care about us.

And try and make the best
of the world that we live in.

We find ways to cope.

We take it day by day.

And in time, we improve.

We heal, and we live on
to fight another day.

We do it for our cubs,

like the great mother
polar bear.

So, I'll paint.

I'll leave all my pain
and my anger

and my broken heart
on the canvas.

And with that,
with every cathartic stroke

and every drop
of pigment squeezed

out of my very soul,
I'm set free.

Does that mean I'm cured?

No. I'm just...

managing.

I'm getting by,
maybe even improving a little.

I mean, Bill's prescriptions
help, too, obviously.

I read that
they don't work for everyone.

But Bill was right.

After 15 minutes,

these little blue pills
gave me something

I haven't had for weeks.

Maybe not since we lost Miles.

They gave me hope.

And hope is just what I needed
to save my family...

and save my life.

Adalynn, I'm home.

Found this on the porch.

I just ordered this.

Oh.

Hi.

Adalynn.

And Elizabeth.

I was so worried, so worried.

I'm so sorry.

-It's okay.
-You okay?

I'm per--

I'm good.

Hi.

Daddy!

- This isn't right.
- Daddy!

No!

This isn't right.

This isn't right.
This isn't right.

Mommy!

This isn't right.
This isn't right.

What's the matter, Mommy?

Adalynn. Adalynn.

You're okay.

You're having another episode.

Focus on my voice
and do your counting.

No, this isn't right.

- Adalynn.
- You're not real.

None of this is real.

Leave us alone.

I'm afraid
this is worse than I thought.

Remember, Adalynn.
Remember how you got here.

No. No, this isn't real.

This isn't real.

You've had some trouble
discerning what's real

from what's imaginary
for a while now.

No, no.

You created an elaborate fantasy
for yourself

to escape the fact that you--

It wasn't your fault,
Adalynn.

Now, please...

give it here.

No.

No, she's my baby.

Go on. Look for yourself.

No.

Where is she?

Where's Elizabeth?

Where's Elizabeth?

Please tell me.

Maybe
you should have a seat.

No, doctor,
please tell me.

I'm sorry.

Your baby died, Adalynn.

-No.

No, no, no, no, no!

- No, no!
- Daddy!

No, God, no!

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Cici.

Adalynn, I'm so glad
that you picked up your phone.

I have been trying
to get in touch with you

for a few days.

There was a nursery incident,
I was gonna stop by.

It was a whole thing.
Addy?

Cici?

You okay?

It won't stop.

What won't stop?

It won't stop
until I do it.

Do what?

Adalynn?

Hey, I can't help you
unless you tell me what's wrong.

Okay?
Hey, talk to me.

I lost them both.

I can't live with that.

Adalynn, I
want you to remember

your breathing, okay?

Okay, deep breaths.

Can you put the baby
somewhere safe?

I gave her
two milligrams of Lorazepam.

It's best
to just let her rest.

I have to say goodbye.

Adalynn!

Adalynn, I want you
to stay on the phone with me.

Okay? Adalynn?

Adalynn,
I'm coming for you, okay?

Hi, um, Dr. Bolland.

Addy! Addy, stop it!

Whatever you're doing,
I want you to sit down.

Addy, can you hear me?

Sweetheart,
I'm coming to get you.

Okay? I'm gonna come.

I'm gonna get you,
I'm gonna get the baby.

Addy!

Addy!

I'm Mary Stewart,
the grief counselor

here at St. Patrick's.

How is Adalynn?

She's devastated.

She keeps asking
to see the baby.

Pick the phone up.
Can you say something for me?

Addy, please!

I need to be with her
right now.

Okay, Bill, Bill--

here.

I'm almost here, okay?

Let's have a seat,
please.

Addy,
pick up your phone!

This wasn't supposed
to happen, you know?

We did everything right

this time, everything.

Well, for starters,

she's gonna need
comprehensive therapy.

That's gonna
fucking break her.

Adalynn!

She insists
Elizabeth's still alive.

I know what you're gonna say,
but I think

Adalynn could really
benefit from a reborn doll.

What the fuck?

I'm dying to meet the baby.

Oh, um...

we're not really up
for visitors just yet.

It wasn't your fault.

As far as I'm concerned...

It wasn't anybody's fault.

If something
were to happen to mama bear,

then her cubs
would surely die.

But if something
were to happen to her cubs...

what would become
of the mother?

Would she have
the strength to survive?

Adalynn! Adalynn!

Absolutely certain
you wanna do this?

Yeah.

And in time,

we heal.

And we live on to fight
our battles again another day.

Unfortunately, I don't think
we'll ever win the war.

But we can still fight.

Protect our families.

Even at great sacrifice
to ourselves,

we fight.

We fight to the bitter end.