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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:12,717 --> 00:00:15,897 - Decoy? Decoy? - I did warn you. 2 00:00:15,924 --> 00:00:17,595 After you threw me off the bike. 3 00:00:17,628 --> 00:00:19,999 So less a warning than an assignment. 4 00:00:20,032 --> 00:00:22,170 God, I've always wanted to throw him off something. 5 00:00:22,203 --> 00:00:24,040 - What's it like? - Surprisingly easy. 6 00:00:24,073 --> 00:00:26,379 You're easy! Wait, no. 7 00:00:26,412 --> 00:00:28,617 You're whatever's sexually undesirable 8 00:00:28,650 --> 00:00:30,387 due to untrustworthiness. 9 00:00:30,420 --> 00:00:32,658 Like my tennis coach who, turns out, is married. 10 00:00:32,691 --> 00:00:33,927 I don't see the problem. 11 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:35,531 You still got away from the police. 12 00:00:35,564 --> 00:00:37,968 And then got tranqed by the international jewel thieves 13 00:00:38,001 --> 00:00:39,539 we're supposed to be taking down. 14 00:00:39,572 --> 00:00:41,943 Yeah, and they didn't use the good stuff either. 15 00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:44,949 My point is, this is all part of the plan. 16 00:00:46,251 --> 00:00:49,024 Yeah, and, um, what part of the plan comes 17 00:00:49,057 --> 00:00:51,362 after being chained by our feet to the ceiling of a sea cave? 18 00:00:53,225 --> 00:00:54,327 The fun part. 19 00:01:26,788 --> 00:01:30,409 - Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 20 00:01:36,774 --> 00:01:38,378 Easy, Lillian Leitzel. 21 00:01:38,389 --> 00:01:41,061 Excuse me for not wanting to die dangling. 22 00:01:41,094 --> 00:01:42,631 Oh, yeah, much better to die 23 00:01:42,664 --> 00:01:45,586 swinging back and forth like a rummy old piñata. 24 00:01:45,597 --> 00:01:47,472 No one's going to die! 25 00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:50,846 But we will drown if we're not free in a few minutes. 26 00:01:50,857 --> 00:01:53,730 So, Zara, what exactly is your plan? 27 00:01:53,763 --> 00:01:55,800 Because so far, it's... 28 00:01:55,833 --> 00:01:57,768 Rob a probably innocent man, 29 00:01:57,779 --> 00:02:00,050 then rob a definitely innocent museum... 30 00:02:00,102 --> 00:02:01,606 Get tranquilized, 31 00:02:01,639 --> 00:02:04,076 then hang upside down in a cave. 32 00:02:04,087 --> 00:02:05,257 The plan's actually too intense 33 00:02:05,268 --> 00:02:06,838 for your aging brain to understand, 34 00:02:06,849 --> 00:02:08,587 but we're waiting on step 3 of 12. 35 00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:10,241 14, if they have guard dogs. 36 00:02:10,252 --> 00:02:11,648 Seriously? 37 00:02:11,659 --> 00:02:13,295 - Seriously? - Problem? 38 00:02:13,328 --> 00:02:15,434 "I have a plan, but I can't share it," 39 00:02:15,445 --> 00:02:18,050 is exactly what people say when they don't have a plan 40 00:02:18,061 --> 00:02:19,263 and hope it all works out. 41 00:02:19,274 --> 00:02:20,399 Wonder why you know that. 42 00:02:20,410 --> 00:02:22,046 We all know why I know that! 43 00:02:22,057 --> 00:02:24,361 The difference is, I actually have a plan. 44 00:02:24,372 --> 00:02:25,990 - Trust me. - I don't. 45 00:02:26,001 --> 00:02:27,345 You're a loose cannon. 46 00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:29,417 You're kind of also a loose cannon, bud. 47 00:02:29,428 --> 00:02:32,289 Exactly, and you can't have two loose cannons on one ship. 48 00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:33,470 They'd smash everything. 49 00:02:33,503 --> 00:02:35,057 Yeah, as opposed to one loose cannon. 50 00:02:35,068 --> 00:02:38,309 I feel like "loose cannon" is never used as a positive. 51 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,211 Really? Because people call me one all the time. 52 00:02:40,222 --> 00:02:41,725 And you think that's a compliment. 53 00:02:41,739 --> 00:02:43,242 Obviously. 54 00:02:43,253 --> 00:02:45,174 And now we know you're not the subtext cannon. 55 00:02:45,185 --> 00:02:46,785 Said the stupid cannon. 56 00:02:46,796 --> 00:02:49,334 New plan, and I can share it. 57 00:02:49,368 --> 00:02:50,570 I'm saving the day. 58 00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:54,578 "And why does that require you to be barefoot?" 59 00:02:54,611 --> 00:02:56,348 she asked, barely caring. 60 00:02:56,382 --> 00:02:58,620 It's not my feet. It's my shoe. 61 00:02:58,653 --> 00:03:00,985 I made Krieger install an emergency phone 62 00:03:00,996 --> 00:03:03,444 - the week I joined the agency. - Ugh. Why? 63 00:03:03,455 --> 00:03:05,459 Because it felt like something a spy would have! 64 00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:07,984 And guess what. It is. 65 00:03:07,995 --> 00:03:09,697 Because I have it. 66 00:03:12,549 --> 00:03:14,396 Well, you're finally using the shoe phone. 67 00:03:14,407 --> 00:03:16,430 It's about time. Does it stink? 68 00:03:16,441 --> 00:03:18,482 Shut up, Krieger. Listen, trace my call. 69 00:03:18,493 --> 00:03:21,131 The moron Interpol agent got us captured. 70 00:03:21,164 --> 00:03:24,472 Well, according to your shoe, you're on an island in Greece. 71 00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:26,274 Ooh, also according to your shoe, 72 00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:27,544 you're pigeon-toed. 73 00:03:27,577 --> 00:03:29,415 - We're in Greece? - Jelly. 74 00:03:29,470 --> 00:03:30,606 So anything else? 75 00:03:30,617 --> 00:03:32,220 Organize a rescue, God damn it! 76 00:03:32,231 --> 00:03:33,434 Oh, shit. 77 00:03:33,445 --> 00:03:36,585 Congratulations on your daring robberies. 78 00:03:36,596 --> 00:03:39,101 You have the attention of the Vanguard. 79 00:03:39,112 --> 00:03:41,284 But we only need one new member, 80 00:03:41,295 --> 00:03:44,535 so we will let the tide decide. 81 00:03:44,678 --> 00:03:46,849 I'll be back in an hour. 82 00:03:46,882 --> 00:03:48,687 You forgot to say, "Any questions?" 83 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,215 To which I would say, "Lots." 84 00:03:50,226 --> 00:03:52,399 Like, do you wash these chains between guests? 85 00:03:52,410 --> 00:03:55,789 Because salt water isn't enough to get them clean. 86 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:59,148 Oh, please, salt water works fine on blood. 87 00:03:59,162 --> 00:04:01,301 It's rust you gotta worry about. 88 00:04:04,373 --> 00:04:06,444 - Ahh. - Damn. 89 00:04:06,477 --> 00:04:07,847 Way to go, Zara. 90 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,350 Ah! 91 00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:10,753 You couldn't have done that earlier? 92 00:04:10,786 --> 00:04:12,718 Like before I got this inversion erection? 93 00:04:12,729 --> 00:04:13,865 I don't think that's a thing. 94 00:04:13,898 --> 00:04:15,936 Then explain why I have one! 95 00:04:15,969 --> 00:04:18,207 Step three was waiting for them to leave us alone 96 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,412 so we'd have more time to infiltrate the facility. 97 00:04:20,423 --> 00:04:22,449 There was a step three! 98 00:04:22,482 --> 00:04:23,852 No, there wasn't! 99 00:04:23,863 --> 00:04:26,098 She's just doing things and calling them steps. 100 00:04:26,109 --> 00:04:27,848 - Says the guy doing nothing. - Am I? 101 00:04:27,859 --> 00:04:29,930 Or am I on step one of kicking your ass? 102 00:04:29,963 --> 00:04:31,601 Eh, still looks like nothing. 103 00:04:31,634 --> 00:04:32,736 Do you want me to get you down? 104 00:04:32,769 --> 00:04:35,709 No. Like my erection, I will handle this myself. 105 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,824 Look, our goal is to take down the Vanguard leader, 106 00:04:37,879 --> 00:04:40,585 but he never leaves Vanguard's secret island headquarters, 107 00:04:40,618 --> 00:04:42,797 and the only way to get here was to be recruited. 108 00:04:42,808 --> 00:04:45,133 But now we're locked in a quickly flooding cave. 109 00:04:45,144 --> 00:04:46,964 Are we? 110 00:04:46,997 --> 00:04:48,300 Was that... 111 00:04:48,311 --> 00:04:50,381 - Step four, baby. - Not a step. 112 00:04:50,392 --> 00:04:51,996 See you after we accomplish the mission! 113 00:04:52,007 --> 00:04:53,611 Not if I see you first 114 00:04:53,622 --> 00:04:56,817 but after I accomplish the mission with my plan. 115 00:04:56,828 --> 00:04:57,830 Yeah, good luck with that. 116 00:04:57,841 --> 00:05:00,881 She said with obvious jealousy. 117 00:05:01,030 --> 00:05:02,968 Okay, my plan. 118 00:05:02,979 --> 00:05:04,922 My plan, 119 00:05:04,933 --> 00:05:09,643 of which step one is... 120 00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:12,683 Utilize a friendly turtle! 121 00:05:12,716 --> 00:05:15,321 Which takes us to step two. 122 00:05:15,354 --> 00:05:16,991 Thoughts? 123 00:05:17,030 --> 00:05:18,987 I've got good news and bad news, people. 124 00:05:18,998 --> 00:05:20,999 What about spooky news? 125 00:05:21,010 --> 00:05:23,449 Ooh, you never hear about spooky news. 126 00:05:23,460 --> 00:05:25,732 - Right? - Ugh, tell me the bad news. 127 00:05:25,743 --> 00:05:27,914 Well, the good news is, the shoe phone worked great. 128 00:05:28,013 --> 00:05:30,071 And it gives me hope for my next invention, 129 00:05:30,082 --> 00:05:31,743 the brain parasite phone. 130 00:05:31,754 --> 00:05:33,424 Krieger, the bad news. 131 00:05:33,457 --> 00:05:34,894 - The team was captured. - What? 132 00:05:34,927 --> 00:05:36,801 Oh, wait, there's more good news. 133 00:05:36,812 --> 00:05:37,922 They're in Greece. 134 00:05:37,933 --> 00:05:39,570 How is that good news? 135 00:05:39,581 --> 00:05:41,385 Duh. It's olive season. 136 00:05:41,396 --> 00:05:42,687 Okay, we have to rescue them. 137 00:05:42,698 --> 00:05:43,834 You're all back on field duty. 138 00:05:43,845 --> 00:05:45,615 Aww. Okay. 139 00:05:45,626 --> 00:05:47,631 Ugh, I guess I'll get my knives. 140 00:05:47,642 --> 00:05:49,780 Wait, how are we gonna get there on such short notice? 141 00:05:49,857 --> 00:05:51,528 You gave away the private plane. 142 00:05:51,539 --> 00:05:54,137 I gave away Robert's plane because we don't need it 143 00:05:54,148 --> 00:05:56,011 or him or his stupid money. 144 00:05:56,035 --> 00:05:57,973 There are other ways to travel. 145 00:05:58,178 --> 00:06:00,139 Four to Athens, please. 146 00:06:00,150 --> 00:06:01,782 No, I don't wanna check my knives. 147 00:06:01,793 --> 00:06:05,169 I wanna carry them on the plane like a normal person! 148 00:06:05,180 --> 00:06:07,399 Hey, Cyril, they still allow 149 00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:09,925 biological weapons on planes, right? 150 00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:11,363 What? No! 151 00:06:11,374 --> 00:06:13,025 Oh, really? 152 00:06:13,036 --> 00:06:14,507 Well, I'll be right back. 153 00:06:17,746 --> 00:06:18,982 I gotta say, Shelly, 154 00:06:19,015 --> 00:06:20,785 for a slow, inevitable death jail, 155 00:06:20,818 --> 00:06:22,589 this sea cave is pretty peaceful. 156 00:06:23,869 --> 00:06:25,440 But a way out would be nice. 157 00:06:25,495 --> 00:06:27,071 Where are the others? 158 00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:29,770 - Sharks? - There are no sharks in Greece. 159 00:06:29,803 --> 00:06:31,407 There's sharks in the ocean. 160 00:06:31,418 --> 00:06:32,854 All the oceans are connected. 161 00:06:32,865 --> 00:06:34,602 You're telling me a shark couldn't get to Greece? 162 00:06:34,613 --> 00:06:37,653 And get into this particular sea cave? 163 00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:39,335 Yeah, you've got a point there. 164 00:06:43,689 --> 00:06:45,490 Relax. I'm just trying to get your keys. 165 00:06:45,501 --> 00:06:47,372 But if you keep struggling... 166 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,471 Hang on. Did you already drown? 167 00:06:51,614 --> 00:06:52,960 It's been, like, ten seconds. 168 00:06:52,971 --> 00:06:54,511 Uh, note to Vanguard: 169 00:06:54,522 --> 00:06:56,479 the guy guarding the water jail should probably have 170 00:06:56,490 --> 00:06:58,096 bigger lungs than a canary. 171 00:06:59,017 --> 00:07:00,325 Take care, Shelly. 172 00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:03,409 And sorry for killing that guy in your cave. 173 00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:07,966 Vanguard leader, come out to play! 174 00:07:08,046 --> 00:07:09,416 Move, asshole. 175 00:07:09,427 --> 00:07:11,074 Oh, hey! You didn't drown. 176 00:07:11,085 --> 00:07:12,890 And I drowned someone else. 177 00:07:12,901 --> 00:07:15,607 It's called going above and beyond, Zara. 178 00:07:15,662 --> 00:07:17,432 Well, we're on step eight. 179 00:07:17,443 --> 00:07:19,381 See this guy's face? Step seven. 180 00:07:19,436 --> 00:07:21,474 Well, call me Saul of Tarsus. 181 00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:23,511 Why, are you blinding magicians now? 182 00:07:23,522 --> 00:07:25,560 No, you I'm a convert! 183 00:07:25,637 --> 00:07:26,906 This woman has a plan. 184 00:07:26,917 --> 00:07:28,599 She's like you, Archer, 185 00:07:28,610 --> 00:07:31,583 if all the chaos and explosions and deaths were intentional. 186 00:07:31,594 --> 00:07:33,231 Everything I do is intentional. 187 00:07:33,242 --> 00:07:34,689 Remember when I crashed a space shuttle 188 00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:35,835 and Ray was paralyzed? 189 00:07:35,868 --> 00:07:37,606 - Vaguely. - Exactly. 190 00:07:37,639 --> 00:07:38,841 "Exactly" what? 191 00:07:38,852 --> 00:07:40,890 - He's even better now. - Says who? 192 00:07:40,901 --> 00:07:42,705 Well, if you're not, you should've said something. 193 00:07:42,716 --> 00:07:45,422 I complain literally all the time! 194 00:07:45,433 --> 00:07:47,715 Anyway, I'm gonna keep going on with the mission. 195 00:07:47,726 --> 00:07:49,040 Ha! 196 00:07:50,643 --> 00:07:52,046 Tell me where your boss is, 197 00:07:52,057 --> 00:07:54,596 or I will give you a bright idea. 198 00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:56,478 Because of the light bulb in his brain. 199 00:07:56,481 --> 00:07:58,652 - Nice. - What boss? 200 00:07:58,685 --> 00:08:00,823 Your boss. The leader. 201 00:08:01,037 --> 00:08:02,627 Of the Vanguard. 202 00:08:02,660 --> 00:08:04,597 The Vanguard has no leader. 203 00:08:04,608 --> 00:08:06,346 What step is learning 204 00:08:06,357 --> 00:08:07,942 your plan doesn't work? 205 00:08:09,091 --> 00:08:11,268 But obviously, this is bad for the mission. 206 00:08:15,505 --> 00:08:16,910 Uh, getting dark in here. 207 00:08:16,921 --> 00:08:19,360 Yeah, two ways. 208 00:08:19,371 --> 00:08:21,309 What do you mean the Vanguard has no leader? 209 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,291 We're nonhierarchical. 210 00:08:23,368 --> 00:08:24,752 Everyone is the leader. 211 00:08:24,763 --> 00:08:26,099 To wipe out the Vanguard, 212 00:08:26,109 --> 00:08:28,478 you have to kill all 61 members. 213 00:08:28,489 --> 00:08:31,146 Technically 60. I accidentally drowned a guy. 214 00:08:31,157 --> 00:08:33,780 Maybe you know him? Bald? Lungs like a baby bird? 215 00:08:36,494 --> 00:08:38,866 Damn! And damn. 216 00:08:38,899 --> 00:08:41,504 - 59. So we're tied. - Not for long. 217 00:08:41,515 --> 00:08:43,687 - It's not a contest! - But it could be. 218 00:08:43,698 --> 00:08:45,668 We've got a lot of Vanguard to take out. 219 00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:48,117 And an odd number. You know, to avoid ties. 220 00:08:48,172 --> 00:08:49,943 Yeah, 'cause that's the most important thing 221 00:08:49,954 --> 00:08:51,391 in a murder contest. 222 00:08:51,402 --> 00:08:53,373 The murders were accidents, Ray. 223 00:08:53,384 --> 00:08:55,944 - This will be more like... - A concussion contest. 224 00:08:55,955 --> 00:08:58,508 Exactly, but never finish my sentence again. 225 00:08:58,519 --> 00:09:00,776 It's on. Whoever knocks out the most guards 226 00:09:00,809 --> 00:09:02,480 is officially the loosest cannon. 227 00:09:02,513 --> 00:09:04,484 - Loser is... - A normal lady cannon? 228 00:09:04,517 --> 00:09:06,418 If that's the label you prefer. 229 00:09:08,157 --> 00:09:09,627 Wait, you're okay? 230 00:09:11,820 --> 00:09:13,824 Nope. So that's two me, and... 231 00:09:13,835 --> 00:09:15,406 All the rest me! 232 00:09:15,439 --> 00:09:18,036 Oh, good, another mission based on spite. 233 00:09:18,047 --> 00:09:19,614 I know! 234 00:09:19,773 --> 00:09:21,406 Wait, was that sarcasm? 235 00:09:21,417 --> 00:09:22,575 I'm thrilled. 236 00:09:22,586 --> 00:09:24,623 A rescue mission on a commercial plane 237 00:09:24,634 --> 00:09:25,870 with checked guns 238 00:09:25,881 --> 00:09:27,418 to save agents who failed to accomplish 239 00:09:27,429 --> 00:09:28,932 our first mission for Interpol, 240 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:31,649 thus putting the entire future of this agency in jeopardy. 241 00:09:31,660 --> 00:09:33,162 Also, the moron in front of me 242 00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:35,044 leaned his seat all the way back! 243 00:09:35,077 --> 00:09:38,036 Hey, I'm just exercising my right to recline. 244 00:09:38,047 --> 00:09:39,765 And your right to suck. 245 00:09:39,776 --> 00:09:41,447 I am calling the flight attendant. 246 00:09:41,524 --> 00:09:44,096 Fine, go crying to your sky mom. 247 00:09:44,129 --> 00:09:45,833 I just wanted to do things differently, you know, 248 00:09:45,866 --> 00:09:47,192 be the steady hand in the office, 249 00:09:47,203 --> 00:09:48,516 but instead, here I am, 250 00:09:48,527 --> 00:09:49,863 first mission in charge, back in the field. 251 00:09:49,874 --> 00:09:51,110 Maybe I can't leave. 252 00:09:51,121 --> 00:09:52,935 I mean, Archer doesn't work well on his own. 253 00:09:52,946 --> 00:09:54,684 - Are you okay? - No. 254 00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,833 My submarine has bigger seats than this! 255 00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,599 I asked you to charter us a private plane. 256 00:09:59,610 --> 00:10:01,954 And I thought flying commercial would be funny! 257 00:10:01,965 --> 00:10:03,936 They actually give you peanuts. 258 00:10:03,969 --> 00:10:05,973 I thought that was some kind of weird joke. 259 00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,110 Five perfectly good bioweapons 260 00:10:08,143 --> 00:10:09,847 thrown in a public trash can. 261 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,453 They should be in a terrorist's trash can! 262 00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:15,252 Stop saying those words on a plane. 263 00:10:15,263 --> 00:10:16,817 Sir, I'm gonna need you 264 00:10:16,828 --> 00:10:18,975 to come with me to the back of the plane. 265 00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:20,691 Ooh, upgrade. 266 00:10:22,973 --> 00:10:25,612 I'll save your peanuts for later. 267 00:10:28,785 --> 00:10:30,756 Oh, I'm sorry. Were you gonna knock him out? 268 00:10:30,789 --> 00:10:32,158 No. 269 00:10:32,191 --> 00:10:34,229 I was going to knock him out. 270 00:10:34,263 --> 00:10:36,159 So you won't mind if I go after... 271 00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:41,107 The slowest, sickest guard on some future mission? 272 00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:43,615 Not at all. 273 00:10:43,626 --> 00:10:46,064 You know, in a weird, accidental way, 274 00:10:46,075 --> 00:10:47,612 they're kind of a good team. 275 00:11:00,081 --> 00:11:03,054 Yeah, they're a regular Farrell and Balanchine. 276 00:11:03,087 --> 00:11:05,191 Yeah, including the awkward age gap. 277 00:11:06,716 --> 00:11:08,254 Call it a tie? 278 00:11:08,932 --> 00:11:10,736 Hey, he was already unconscious! 279 00:11:10,747 --> 00:11:12,618 And excessive force is the tiebreaker. 280 00:11:12,629 --> 00:11:15,134 Point Archer, which means... 281 00:11:15,211 --> 00:11:18,343 I'm winning. 282 00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:21,784 Damn, you guys have a cafeteria? 283 00:11:21,795 --> 00:11:24,568 We have to pay for our meals. 284 00:11:24,616 --> 00:11:26,823 I'm just saying, if the choice was between 285 00:11:26,834 --> 00:11:29,417 eating this meal and the plane crashing, 286 00:11:29,428 --> 00:11:31,566 I would choose the plane crash. 287 00:11:31,577 --> 00:11:35,218 The chicken is very good. My compliments to the chef. 288 00:11:35,229 --> 00:11:37,668 Any chance the captain could speed this flight up? 289 00:11:37,723 --> 00:11:39,025 We're in a bit of a rush. 290 00:11:40,675 --> 00:11:43,211 Maybe stepping up to run the agency was the wrong move. 291 00:11:43,222 --> 00:11:44,793 I mean, I thought being in the office would be 292 00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:46,274 better for AJ, but not if I end up 293 00:11:46,307 --> 00:11:48,812 in the field every mission, and Cheryl, I need you to stop. 294 00:11:48,845 --> 00:11:50,883 I need more room! 295 00:11:50,916 --> 00:11:52,653 This is like a plane for bugs! 296 00:11:52,686 --> 00:11:54,557 Ma'am, just a reminder 297 00:11:54,568 --> 00:11:56,873 that the captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign. 298 00:11:56,928 --> 00:11:59,226 Just a reminder that I don't care. 299 00:11:59,237 --> 00:12:01,326 Ma'am, I need you to calm down. 300 00:12:01,452 --> 00:12:03,823 You are alarming the other passengers. 301 00:12:03,887 --> 00:12:05,935 Well, they should be alarmed, because I'm gonna buy this plane 302 00:12:05,946 --> 00:12:07,048 and crash it into the ground 303 00:12:07,081 --> 00:12:08,748 where all the other poor people live. 304 00:12:08,759 --> 00:12:11,631 The sky is for the rich, you fucking bugs! 305 00:12:23,982 --> 00:12:25,786 25. 306 00:12:25,819 --> 00:12:26,988 21. 307 00:12:27,021 --> 00:12:29,059 26 and 27. 308 00:12:29,092 --> 00:12:31,063 Ugh, 21 again. 309 00:12:31,096 --> 00:12:33,735 Get your own. 310 00:12:33,768 --> 00:12:36,608 I'm not the one who needs to lay off the carbs. 311 00:12:36,619 --> 00:12:38,723 Ha! Oh, now we're body-shaming? 312 00:12:38,734 --> 00:12:41,707 Call it body-constructive criticism. 313 00:12:41,784 --> 00:12:44,222 Same side, assholes! 314 00:12:46,037 --> 00:12:47,541 - Pam, stop. - What? 315 00:12:47,596 --> 00:12:48,799 We need an odd number of guards. 316 00:12:48,832 --> 00:12:51,213 If you knock one out, Zara and I might tie. 317 00:12:51,224 --> 00:12:53,575 Come on. Seriously? 318 00:12:55,757 --> 00:12:58,663 Hey, uh, before we do this, one question. 319 00:12:58,674 --> 00:13:00,666 Is anyone out sick today? 320 00:13:04,604 --> 00:13:07,101 What is happening? We landed an hour ago. 321 00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:08,282 Excuse me. 322 00:13:08,293 --> 00:13:10,029 Lana, we're not supposed 323 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,222 to take off our seat belts until we're at the gate. 324 00:13:12,233 --> 00:13:13,670 And the gate is right there. 325 00:13:13,681 --> 00:13:15,379 Do they not know this is a rescue mission? 326 00:13:15,390 --> 00:13:18,057 On a commercial flight? Huh. How would they not? 327 00:13:18,308 --> 00:13:19,545 Are they leaving? 328 00:13:19,556 --> 00:13:21,196 Hey! Hey! 329 00:13:21,375 --> 00:13:23,537 You have a plane full of people here! 330 00:13:23,548 --> 00:13:25,839 Ma'am, it's not yet safe to stand. 331 00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:27,910 Oh, not safe? Why? 332 00:13:27,921 --> 00:13:30,627 Are we in danger of running into one of the zero employees 333 00:13:30,682 --> 00:13:31,929 currently helping out there? 334 00:13:31,940 --> 00:13:34,580 - Ma'am... - Oh, do not "ma'am" me. 335 00:13:34,591 --> 00:13:36,683 I have jumped out of planes over war zones 336 00:13:36,694 --> 00:13:38,632 with a parachute made from a negligee. 337 00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:40,146 I think I'll be fine crossing the tarmac 338 00:13:40,157 --> 00:13:42,160 at Baklava International Airport. 339 00:13:42,171 --> 00:13:43,675 Don't you dare come at me with that ta... 340 00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:52,404 Ah, will you look at that? An eye massager. 341 00:13:52,459 --> 00:13:55,265 What'll they think of next? 342 00:14:03,848 --> 00:14:04,884 How many is that? 343 00:14:04,917 --> 00:14:06,955 Uh, little busy avoiding death 344 00:14:06,988 --> 00:14:08,533 and not being able to fight back. 345 00:14:08,544 --> 00:14:11,297 Well, I count 30! 346 00:14:11,330 --> 00:14:12,666 Same. 347 00:14:14,135 --> 00:14:15,706 Ah! Damn it! 348 00:14:17,376 --> 00:14:19,914 - Seriously? - That face belongs to my fist! 349 00:14:19,947 --> 00:14:22,218 - I could also just leave. - No! 350 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:30,056 50 on Archer, but 20 on Zara to break one of his arms. 351 00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:32,339 Ugh, who puts olives in lasagna? 352 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,578 They are in season. 353 00:14:37,574 --> 00:14:39,243 Enough. 354 00:14:39,254 --> 00:14:40,789 Uh, can whatever this is wait 355 00:14:40,822 --> 00:14:42,726 until I knock out this terrified man? 356 00:14:42,759 --> 00:14:44,263 I'm afraid not. 357 00:14:44,296 --> 00:14:47,101 I'm the Warden, leader of the Vanguard. 358 00:14:47,134 --> 00:14:48,872 - Wha... - Ugh! 359 00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,862 Sorry, it's not you. 360 00:14:50,873 --> 00:14:53,475 It's just, now there is an even number. 361 00:14:58,056 --> 00:15:01,129 Look at us. Tied with our own zips. 362 00:15:01,162 --> 00:15:03,617 Ugh, don't remind me... of the tie. 363 00:15:03,628 --> 00:15:05,004 It's 30 to 30. 364 00:15:05,037 --> 00:15:07,336 Is that seriously what you're thinking about right now? 365 00:15:07,347 --> 00:15:09,045 I mean... yes? 366 00:15:09,078 --> 00:15:11,033 You know, I'm beginning to think 367 00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:13,755 you're not aspiring new recruits. 368 00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:15,859 We are, but she's a spy. 369 00:15:15,892 --> 00:15:17,796 Ugh, we're all spies. 370 00:15:17,807 --> 00:15:19,154 Is this still part of your plan? 371 00:15:19,165 --> 00:15:21,271 "Plan" in massive air quotes. 372 00:15:21,282 --> 00:15:24,053 Pretty sure y'all's little competition derailed the plan. 373 00:15:24,064 --> 00:15:25,768 - Or did it? - It did. 374 00:15:25,779 --> 00:15:27,225 - I derailed you. - Ha! 375 00:15:27,236 --> 00:15:29,207 So you admit there was a plan to derail. 376 00:15:29,218 --> 00:15:31,134 No! Uh, shit. Hang on, I... 377 00:15:32,793 --> 00:15:34,296 Do I have your attention? 378 00:15:34,307 --> 00:15:35,343 Not really, no. 379 00:15:36,767 --> 00:15:37,969 Have you ever heard that you catch 380 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,317 more flies with honey? 381 00:15:39,328 --> 00:15:41,483 Oh, right in the same hole! 382 00:15:41,494 --> 00:15:43,171 Probably just luck. 383 00:15:43,182 --> 00:15:44,191 Oh! 384 00:15:44,202 --> 00:15:45,919 It's not luck. 385 00:15:45,952 --> 00:15:48,234 Same hole again. This guy's good. 386 00:15:48,245 --> 00:15:50,249 Okay. You have his attention. 387 00:15:50,260 --> 00:15:52,833 Still can't believe you're not nonhierarchical. 388 00:15:52,866 --> 00:15:54,904 A lie for my protection. 389 00:15:54,937 --> 00:15:57,041 If no one believes there's a leader, 390 00:15:57,074 --> 00:15:59,212 there's no leader to find. 391 00:15:59,245 --> 00:16:01,083 But, you know, someone has to write the checks 392 00:16:01,116 --> 00:16:02,853 and decide which holidays to take off. 393 00:16:02,886 --> 00:16:04,583 Oh, we've got someone like that. 394 00:16:04,594 --> 00:16:06,093 She's, uh, new at the job, 395 00:16:06,126 --> 00:16:08,430 but feel confident saying she's bad at it. 396 00:16:08,441 --> 00:16:10,489 It's certainly not going to help 397 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:13,139 that she's lost an entire team. 398 00:16:13,150 --> 00:16:15,510 What? What? What? What? 399 00:16:15,521 --> 00:16:18,232 Why tie us up if you're just gonna shoot us right way? 400 00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:20,616 Why give 60 men concussions? 401 00:16:20,627 --> 00:16:23,633 You have your process, and I have mine. 402 00:16:23,644 --> 00:16:26,287 Wait! Are you really the leader of the Vanguard? 403 00:16:26,298 --> 00:16:27,722 - Yes. - But really? 404 00:16:27,733 --> 00:16:28,835 Really, really? 405 00:16:28,846 --> 00:16:30,788 - Yes. - Great. 406 00:16:31,955 --> 00:16:33,326 What the hell just happened? 407 00:16:33,337 --> 00:16:35,431 - Is that... - Step 12. 408 00:16:35,442 --> 00:16:36,791 Archer has a shoe phone. 409 00:16:36,802 --> 00:16:38,174 I have a shoe gun. 410 00:16:38,185 --> 00:16:39,382 Seems more useful. 411 00:16:39,393 --> 00:16:43,242 Oh, also, that's 31 to 30, so I win. 412 00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:44,623 Step 12? 413 00:16:44,634 --> 00:16:47,509 I thought we were still on step nine! 414 00:16:47,564 --> 00:16:50,571 Zara, I'm gonna tell you what I told the dry cleaner 415 00:16:50,582 --> 00:16:53,036 who got yuzu off my yukata: 416 00:16:53,047 --> 00:16:55,569 - you might be a genius. - Yeah, you might... 417 00:16:55,580 --> 00:16:57,050 Warden down. 418 00:16:57,061 --> 00:17:00,762 Vanguard base to self-destruct in five minutes. 419 00:17:00,773 --> 00:17:03,575 The base explodes if the Warden dies? 420 00:17:03,608 --> 00:17:06,914 Does the new leader have to build a completely new base? 421 00:17:06,947 --> 00:17:08,318 I'm a little more concerned 422 00:17:08,351 --> 00:17:10,154 about how we're all tied to chairs 423 00:17:10,187 --> 00:17:12,292 in a building that's about to explode. 424 00:17:12,325 --> 00:17:14,530 So, genius, what part of the plan is this? 425 00:17:14,563 --> 00:17:15,999 Technically, the plan only went up 426 00:17:16,032 --> 00:17:17,536 to killing the leader of the Vanguard, 427 00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:21,009 so I guess the plan is to blow up in five minutes. 428 00:17:21,042 --> 00:17:22,279 New plan. 429 00:17:22,312 --> 00:17:24,383 Hope that the shoe phones are waterproof. 430 00:17:27,154 --> 00:17:28,591 - Archer. - You'll have to speak up. 431 00:17:28,624 --> 00:17:31,029 I'm calling on a long-distance shoe. 432 00:17:31,062 --> 00:17:32,299 We'll be there in five minutes. 433 00:17:32,332 --> 00:17:33,568 Although, full disclosure, 434 00:17:33,601 --> 00:17:35,171 the airline lost our bags, 435 00:17:35,204 --> 00:17:37,822 so we don't have any weapons or beach clothes. 436 00:17:37,833 --> 00:17:39,671 Uh, additional full disclosure, 437 00:17:39,682 --> 00:17:41,183 we're blowing up in four minutes. 438 00:17:41,216 --> 00:17:42,218 - What? - Okay, tell them 439 00:17:42,251 --> 00:17:43,455 we have one knife. 440 00:17:43,488 --> 00:17:45,024 Oh, where did you get that? 441 00:17:45,057 --> 00:17:47,329 - Uh, I brought it? - On the plane? 442 00:17:47,340 --> 00:17:48,342 It's ceramic. 443 00:17:48,353 --> 00:17:50,089 Lana, in case we explode, 444 00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:52,620 I want you to know, I've never respected... 445 00:17:52,631 --> 00:17:54,201 Archer? Archer. 446 00:17:54,212 --> 00:17:55,582 The battery must be dead. 447 00:17:55,593 --> 00:17:57,698 I told him I could've fit more batteries 448 00:17:57,709 --> 00:17:59,379 in a kitten heel. 449 00:18:00,054 --> 00:18:02,292 On the bright side, now that we're tied to chairs 450 00:18:02,325 --> 00:18:03,795 instead of a cave ceiling, 451 00:18:03,806 --> 00:18:06,623 I can move close enough to do this. 452 00:18:06,634 --> 00:18:09,427 Do what? Kick the air near me? 453 00:18:09,438 --> 00:18:10,834 You know that wasn't my intent! 454 00:18:10,845 --> 00:18:12,100 Fight toward an exit. 455 00:18:12,111 --> 00:18:13,915 We've got three minutes. 456 00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,932 All you'd have to do is sit here, 457 00:18:16,943 --> 00:18:20,318 and you'd never have to deal with any of them ever again. 458 00:18:22,097 --> 00:18:24,169 And miss all that good TV? 459 00:18:24,409 --> 00:18:25,639 No. 460 00:18:29,145 --> 00:18:30,982 Whoa! 461 00:18:49,453 --> 00:18:50,956 Just let me go first! 462 00:18:50,989 --> 00:18:52,661 I'd rather die. 463 00:18:52,672 --> 00:18:55,532 - You're about to. - You don't know my explosion tolerance! 464 00:18:55,543 --> 00:18:57,313 Grudge later, you dicks. 465 00:19:00,053 --> 00:19:02,434 Oh, thank God. I'm so glad to see you. 466 00:19:04,742 --> 00:19:07,413 31! We tied. 467 00:19:09,535 --> 00:19:11,553 Oh, thank God. We're not too late. 468 00:19:13,612 --> 00:19:16,351 Not too late for what, s'mores? 469 00:19:16,362 --> 00:19:18,199 Oh, my God. 470 00:19:18,469 --> 00:19:20,169 They're... they're gone. 471 00:19:20,180 --> 00:19:22,018 They're... they're really gone. 472 00:19:22,051 --> 00:19:24,274 If we can find even a shred of DNA, 473 00:19:24,285 --> 00:19:26,126 I can bring them back. 474 00:19:26,137 --> 00:19:27,574 In the bodies of dogs. 475 00:19:27,828 --> 00:19:29,277 Any dog you want. 476 00:19:29,288 --> 00:19:31,532 Collies, Labradors, pugs. 477 00:19:31,543 --> 00:19:32,679 Look! 478 00:19:43,220 --> 00:19:45,152 How do I keep forgetting I can do that? 479 00:19:45,163 --> 00:19:46,625 Because you don't want to admit to yourself 480 00:19:46,636 --> 00:19:47,872 that you're an abomination? 481 00:19:47,883 --> 00:19:49,673 Oh, there it is. 482 00:19:50,010 --> 00:19:51,699 - Lana Kane. - Zara Kahn. 483 00:19:51,710 --> 00:19:53,548 So the leader of the Vanguard is dead. 484 00:19:53,581 --> 00:19:55,184 Their facility is destroyed. 485 00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:57,813 I believe Interpol would consider that a mission accomplished. 486 00:19:57,824 --> 00:19:59,293 Congratulations. 487 00:19:59,326 --> 00:20:02,266 And better luck next time, lady cannon. 488 00:20:02,299 --> 00:20:04,537 Uh, more like same luck this time. 489 00:20:04,548 --> 00:20:05,683 I got the final guard on the way out, 490 00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,709 which means we tied. What do you say to that? 491 00:20:07,742 --> 00:20:10,282 Step 5B: provide a metaphorical fig leaf 492 00:20:10,315 --> 00:20:12,488 for your limp, wilting ego. 493 00:20:12,499 --> 00:20:15,024 There were sub-steps? 494 00:20:15,035 --> 00:20:17,072 There were sub-steps. 495 00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,154 Uh, what's happening on this mission? 496 00:20:19,231 --> 00:20:21,737 A commercial airline made a powerful enemy. 497 00:20:21,770 --> 00:20:23,474 Your attitude was tanking the mission, 498 00:20:23,507 --> 00:20:25,365 so I gave you a goal to get you in line. 499 00:20:25,376 --> 00:20:26,813 It's not a contest! 500 00:20:26,824 --> 00:20:28,421 But it could be. 501 00:20:28,432 --> 00:20:30,633 You thought you were proving you were a loose cannon. 502 00:20:30,644 --> 00:20:33,516 I had you tied down the whole time. 503 00:20:33,527 --> 00:20:36,199 No, that's... I... this doesn't make you the loose cannon! 504 00:20:36,232 --> 00:20:37,861 Oh, I'm not a loose cannon. 505 00:20:37,872 --> 00:20:40,775 I'm more a shotgun filled with scalpels. 506 00:20:40,808 --> 00:20:42,178 Ooh, I'm getting one of those. 507 00:20:42,211 --> 00:20:44,617 How have I not made one of those? 508 00:20:44,628 --> 00:20:48,057 Hmm, maybe I don't need to go back in the field after all. 509 00:20:48,068 --> 00:20:49,382 How would you like a new job? 510 00:20:49,393 --> 00:20:50,697 Would I have to relocate? 511 00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:52,521 - I'm based in Europe. - Oh. Uh... 512 00:20:52,532 --> 00:20:54,884 And if I do relocate, is there a moving stipend? 513 00:20:54,895 --> 00:20:56,496 Also, am I under a fixed contract? 514 00:20:56,507 --> 00:20:58,210 Who deals with my migration status? 515 00:20:58,243 --> 00:21:00,080 And if I quit, do I get to keep the stipend? 516 00:21:00,113 --> 00:21:01,858 Uh, sure that we can do, um... 517 00:21:01,869 --> 00:21:04,088 No! I'm fucking with you. 518 00:21:04,121 --> 00:21:05,625 I've been looking for a new challenge, 519 00:21:05,658 --> 00:21:07,979 and you seem like a better boss than those Interpol pricks. 520 00:21:07,990 --> 00:21:10,671 But I want what Archer makes, plus $1. 521 00:21:10,682 --> 00:21:12,238 Wha... on what basis? 522 00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:14,242 On the basis that I was the best at Interpol. 523 00:21:14,276 --> 00:21:16,756 I'll be the best at whatever you guys are. 524 00:21:16,767 --> 00:21:19,520 - Deal. You are hired. - What? 525 00:21:19,553 --> 00:21:21,424 You know, I sort of liked flying commercial. 526 00:21:21,457 --> 00:21:23,294 There was more bondage than I expected. 527 00:21:23,393 --> 00:21:24,696 What just happened? 528 00:21:24,707 --> 00:21:26,711 I think you just got a new partner 529 00:21:26,722 --> 00:21:29,127 who technically makes more than you. 530 00:21:29,138 --> 00:21:30,408 Like I care. 531 00:21:30,441 --> 00:21:32,038 Cyril, do you think she knows I don't care? 532 00:21:32,049 --> 00:21:34,164 - I don't know. - Well, she needs to, 533 00:21:34,175 --> 00:21:36,375 because I don't. 534 00:21:36,734 --> 00:21:37,955 Zara? 535 00:21:38,098 --> 00:21:39,636 Zara? 536 00:21:39,669 --> 00:21:41,640 Zara! 537 00:21:44,465 --> 00:21:49,465 - Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 538 00:22:03,450 --> 00:22:06,355 Made in Georgia. 38664

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