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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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- Decoy? Decoy?
- I did warn you.
2
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After you threw me off the bike.
3
00:00:17,628 --> 00:00:19,999
So less a warning than an assignment.
4
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God, I've always wanted
to throw him off something.
5
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- What's it like?
- Surprisingly easy.
6
00:00:24,073 --> 00:00:26,379
You're easy! Wait, no.
7
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You're whatever's sexually undesirable
8
00:00:28,650 --> 00:00:30,387
due to untrustworthiness.
9
00:00:30,420 --> 00:00:32,658
Like my tennis coach who,
turns out, is married.
10
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I don't see the problem.
11
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:35,531
You still got away from the police.
12
00:00:35,564 --> 00:00:37,968
And then got tranqed by the
international jewel thieves
13
00:00:38,001 --> 00:00:39,539
we're supposed to be taking down.
14
00:00:39,572 --> 00:00:41,943
Yeah, and they didn't
use the good stuff either.
15
00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:44,949
My point is, this is
all part of the plan.
16
00:00:46,251 --> 00:00:49,024
Yeah, and, um, what
part of the plan comes
17
00:00:49,057 --> 00:00:51,362
after being chained by our feet
to the ceiling of a sea cave?
18
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The fun part.
19
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- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
20
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Easy, Lillian Leitzel.
21
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Excuse me for not
wanting to die dangling.
22
00:01:41,094 --> 00:01:42,631
Oh, yeah, much better to die
23
00:01:42,664 --> 00:01:45,586
swinging back and forth
like a rummy old piñata.
24
00:01:45,597 --> 00:01:47,472
No one's going to die!
25
00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:50,846
But we will drown if we're
not free in a few minutes.
26
00:01:50,857 --> 00:01:53,730
So, Zara, what exactly is your plan?
27
00:01:53,763 --> 00:01:55,800
Because so far, it's...
28
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Rob a probably innocent man,
29
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then rob a definitely innocent museum...
30
00:02:00,102 --> 00:02:01,606
Get tranquilized,
31
00:02:01,639 --> 00:02:04,076
then hang upside down in a cave.
32
00:02:04,087 --> 00:02:05,257
The plan's actually too intense
33
00:02:05,268 --> 00:02:06,838
for your aging brain to understand,
34
00:02:06,849 --> 00:02:08,587
but we're waiting on step 3 of 12.
35
00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:10,241
14, if they have guard dogs.
36
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Seriously?
37
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- Seriously?
- Problem?
38
00:02:13,328 --> 00:02:15,434
"I have a plan, but I can't share it,"
39
00:02:15,445 --> 00:02:18,050
is exactly what people say
when they don't have a plan
40
00:02:18,061 --> 00:02:19,263
and hope it all works out.
41
00:02:19,274 --> 00:02:20,399
Wonder why you know that.
42
00:02:20,410 --> 00:02:22,046
We all know why I know that!
43
00:02:22,057 --> 00:02:24,361
The difference is, I
actually have a plan.
44
00:02:24,372 --> 00:02:25,990
- Trust me.
- I don't.
45
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You're a loose cannon.
46
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:29,417
You're kind of also a loose cannon, bud.
47
00:02:29,428 --> 00:02:32,289
Exactly, and you can't have
two loose cannons on one ship.
48
00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:33,470
They'd smash everything.
49
00:02:33,503 --> 00:02:35,057
Yeah, as opposed to one loose cannon.
50
00:02:35,068 --> 00:02:38,309
I feel like "loose cannon"
is never used as a positive.
51
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,211
Really? Because people
call me one all the time.
52
00:02:40,222 --> 00:02:41,725
And you think that's a compliment.
53
00:02:41,739 --> 00:02:43,242
Obviously.
54
00:02:43,253 --> 00:02:45,174
And now we know you're
not the subtext cannon.
55
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Said the stupid cannon.
56
00:02:46,796 --> 00:02:49,334
New plan, and I can share it.
57
00:02:49,368 --> 00:02:50,570
I'm saving the day.
58
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:54,578
"And why does that require
you to be barefoot?"
59
00:02:54,611 --> 00:02:56,348
she asked, barely caring.
60
00:02:56,382 --> 00:02:58,620
It's not my feet. It's my shoe.
61
00:02:58,653 --> 00:03:00,985
I made Krieger install
an emergency phone
62
00:03:00,996 --> 00:03:03,444
- the week I joined the agency.
- Ugh. Why?
63
00:03:03,455 --> 00:03:05,459
Because it felt like
something a spy would have!
64
00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:07,984
And guess what. It is.
65
00:03:07,995 --> 00:03:09,697
Because I have it.
66
00:03:12,549 --> 00:03:14,396
Well, you're finally
using the shoe phone.
67
00:03:14,407 --> 00:03:16,430
It's about time. Does it stink?
68
00:03:16,441 --> 00:03:18,482
Shut up, Krieger. Listen, trace my call.
69
00:03:18,493 --> 00:03:21,131
The moron Interpol
agent got us captured.
70
00:03:21,164 --> 00:03:24,472
Well, according to your shoe,
you're on an island in Greece.
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00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:26,274
Ooh, also according to your shoe,
72
00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:27,544
you're pigeon-toed.
73
00:03:27,577 --> 00:03:29,415
- We're in Greece?
- Jelly.
74
00:03:29,470 --> 00:03:30,606
So anything else?
75
00:03:30,617 --> 00:03:32,220
Organize a rescue, God damn it!
76
00:03:32,231 --> 00:03:33,434
Oh, shit.
77
00:03:33,445 --> 00:03:36,585
Congratulations on
your daring robberies.
78
00:03:36,596 --> 00:03:39,101
You have the attention of the Vanguard.
79
00:03:39,112 --> 00:03:41,284
But we only need one new member,
80
00:03:41,295 --> 00:03:44,535
so we will let the tide decide.
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00:03:44,678 --> 00:03:46,849
I'll be back in an hour.
82
00:03:46,882 --> 00:03:48,687
You forgot to say, "Any questions?"
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00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,215
To which I would say, "Lots."
84
00:03:50,226 --> 00:03:52,399
Like, do you wash these
chains between guests?
85
00:03:52,410 --> 00:03:55,789
Because salt water isn't
enough to get them clean.
86
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:59,148
Oh, please, salt water
works fine on blood.
87
00:03:59,162 --> 00:04:01,301
It's rust you gotta worry about.
88
00:04:04,373 --> 00:04:06,444
- Ahh.
- Damn.
89
00:04:06,477 --> 00:04:07,847
Way to go, Zara.
90
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,350
Ah!
91
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:10,753
You couldn't have done that earlier?
92
00:04:10,786 --> 00:04:12,718
Like before I got this
inversion erection?
93
00:04:12,729 --> 00:04:13,865
I don't think that's a thing.
94
00:04:13,898 --> 00:04:15,936
Then explain why I have one!
95
00:04:15,969 --> 00:04:18,207
Step three was waiting
for them to leave us alone
96
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,412
so we'd have more time to
infiltrate the facility.
97
00:04:20,423 --> 00:04:22,449
There was a step three!
98
00:04:22,482 --> 00:04:23,852
No, there wasn't!
99
00:04:23,863 --> 00:04:26,098
She's just doing things
and calling them steps.
100
00:04:26,109 --> 00:04:27,848
- Says the guy doing nothing.
- Am I?
101
00:04:27,859 --> 00:04:29,930
Or am I on step one of kicking your ass?
102
00:04:29,963 --> 00:04:31,601
Eh, still looks like nothing.
103
00:04:31,634 --> 00:04:32,736
Do you want me to get you down?
104
00:04:32,769 --> 00:04:35,709
No. Like my erection,
I will handle this myself.
105
00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,824
Look, our goal is to take
down the Vanguard leader,
106
00:04:37,879 --> 00:04:40,585
but he never leaves Vanguard's
secret island headquarters,
107
00:04:40,618 --> 00:04:42,797
and the only way to get
here was to be recruited.
108
00:04:42,808 --> 00:04:45,133
But now we're locked in
a quickly flooding cave.
109
00:04:45,144 --> 00:04:46,964
Are we?
110
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Was that...
111
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- Step four, baby.
- Not a step.
112
00:04:50,392 --> 00:04:51,996
See you after we accomplish the mission!
113
00:04:52,007 --> 00:04:53,611
Not if I see you first
114
00:04:53,622 --> 00:04:56,817
but after I accomplish
the mission with my plan.
115
00:04:56,828 --> 00:04:57,830
Yeah, good luck with that.
116
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She said with obvious jealousy.
117
00:05:01,030 --> 00:05:02,968
Okay, my plan.
118
00:05:02,979 --> 00:05:04,922
My plan,
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00:05:04,933 --> 00:05:09,643
of which step one is...
120
00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:12,683
Utilize a friendly turtle!
121
00:05:12,716 --> 00:05:15,321
Which takes us to step two.
122
00:05:15,354 --> 00:05:16,991
Thoughts?
123
00:05:17,030 --> 00:05:18,987
I've got good news and bad news, people.
124
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What about spooky news?
125
00:05:21,010 --> 00:05:23,449
Ooh, you never hear about spooky news.
126
00:05:23,460 --> 00:05:25,732
- Right?
- Ugh, tell me the bad news.
127
00:05:25,743 --> 00:05:27,914
Well, the good news is,
the shoe phone worked great.
128
00:05:28,013 --> 00:05:30,071
And it gives me hope
for my next invention,
129
00:05:30,082 --> 00:05:31,743
the brain parasite phone.
130
00:05:31,754 --> 00:05:33,424
Krieger, the bad news.
131
00:05:33,457 --> 00:05:34,894
- The team was captured.
- What?
132
00:05:34,927 --> 00:05:36,801
Oh, wait, there's more good news.
133
00:05:36,812 --> 00:05:37,922
They're in Greece.
134
00:05:37,933 --> 00:05:39,570
How is that good news?
135
00:05:39,581 --> 00:05:41,385
Duh. It's olive season.
136
00:05:41,396 --> 00:05:42,687
Okay, we have to rescue them.
137
00:05:42,698 --> 00:05:43,834
You're all back on field duty.
138
00:05:43,845 --> 00:05:45,615
Aww. Okay.
139
00:05:45,626 --> 00:05:47,631
Ugh, I guess I'll get my knives.
140
00:05:47,642 --> 00:05:49,780
Wait, how are we gonna get
there on such short notice?
141
00:05:49,857 --> 00:05:51,528
You gave away the private plane.
142
00:05:51,539 --> 00:05:54,137
I gave away Robert's plane
because we don't need it
143
00:05:54,148 --> 00:05:56,011
or him or his stupid money.
144
00:05:56,035 --> 00:05:57,973
There are other ways to travel.
145
00:05:58,178 --> 00:06:00,139
Four to Athens, please.
146
00:06:00,150 --> 00:06:01,782
No, I don't wanna check my knives.
147
00:06:01,793 --> 00:06:05,169
I wanna carry them on the
plane like a normal person!
148
00:06:05,180 --> 00:06:07,399
Hey, Cyril, they still allow
149
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:09,925
biological weapons on planes, right?
150
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:11,363
What? No!
151
00:06:11,374 --> 00:06:13,025
Oh, really?
152
00:06:13,036 --> 00:06:14,507
Well, I'll be right back.
153
00:06:17,746 --> 00:06:18,982
I gotta say, Shelly,
154
00:06:19,015 --> 00:06:20,785
for a slow, inevitable death jail,
155
00:06:20,818 --> 00:06:22,589
this sea cave is pretty peaceful.
156
00:06:23,869 --> 00:06:25,440
But a way out would be nice.
157
00:06:25,495 --> 00:06:27,071
Where are the others?
158
00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:29,770
- Sharks?
- There are no sharks in Greece.
159
00:06:29,803 --> 00:06:31,407
There's sharks in the ocean.
160
00:06:31,418 --> 00:06:32,854
All the oceans are connected.
161
00:06:32,865 --> 00:06:34,602
You're telling me a shark
couldn't get to Greece?
162
00:06:34,613 --> 00:06:37,653
And get into this particular sea cave?
163
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:39,335
Yeah, you've got a point there.
164
00:06:43,689 --> 00:06:45,490
Relax. I'm just trying to get your keys.
165
00:06:45,501 --> 00:06:47,372
But if you keep struggling...
166
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,471
Hang on. Did you already drown?
167
00:06:51,614 --> 00:06:52,960
It's been, like, ten seconds.
168
00:06:52,971 --> 00:06:54,511
Uh, note to Vanguard:
169
00:06:54,522 --> 00:06:56,479
the guy guarding the water
jail should probably have
170
00:06:56,490 --> 00:06:58,096
bigger lungs than a canary.
171
00:06:59,017 --> 00:07:00,325
Take care, Shelly.
172
00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:03,409
And sorry for killing
that guy in your cave.
173
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:07,966
Vanguard leader, come out to play!
174
00:07:08,046 --> 00:07:09,416
Move, asshole.
175
00:07:09,427 --> 00:07:11,074
Oh, hey! You didn't drown.
176
00:07:11,085 --> 00:07:12,890
And I drowned someone else.
177
00:07:12,901 --> 00:07:15,607
It's called going
above and beyond, Zara.
178
00:07:15,662 --> 00:07:17,432
Well, we're on step eight.
179
00:07:17,443 --> 00:07:19,381
See this guy's face? Step seven.
180
00:07:19,436 --> 00:07:21,474
Well, call me Saul of Tarsus.
181
00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:23,511
Why, are you blinding magicians now?
182
00:07:23,522 --> 00:07:25,560
No, you I'm a convert!
183
00:07:25,637 --> 00:07:26,906
This woman has a plan.
184
00:07:26,917 --> 00:07:28,599
She's like you, Archer,
185
00:07:28,610 --> 00:07:31,583
if all the chaos and explosions
and deaths were intentional.
186
00:07:31,594 --> 00:07:33,231
Everything I do is intentional.
187
00:07:33,242 --> 00:07:34,689
Remember when I crashed a space shuttle
188
00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:35,835
and Ray was paralyzed?
189
00:07:35,868 --> 00:07:37,606
- Vaguely.
- Exactly.
190
00:07:37,639 --> 00:07:38,841
"Exactly" what?
191
00:07:38,852 --> 00:07:40,890
- He's even better now.
- Says who?
192
00:07:40,901 --> 00:07:42,705
Well, if you're not, you
should've said something.
193
00:07:42,716 --> 00:07:45,422
I complain literally all the time!
194
00:07:45,433 --> 00:07:47,715
Anyway, I'm gonna keep
going on with the mission.
195
00:07:47,726 --> 00:07:49,040
Ha!
196
00:07:50,643 --> 00:07:52,046
Tell me where your boss is,
197
00:07:52,057 --> 00:07:54,596
or I will give you a bright idea.
198
00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:56,478
Because of the light bulb in his brain.
199
00:07:56,481 --> 00:07:58,652
- Nice.
- What boss?
200
00:07:58,685 --> 00:08:00,823
Your boss. The leader.
201
00:08:01,037 --> 00:08:02,627
Of the Vanguard.
202
00:08:02,660 --> 00:08:04,597
The Vanguard has no leader.
203
00:08:04,608 --> 00:08:06,346
What step is learning
204
00:08:06,357 --> 00:08:07,942
your plan doesn't work?
205
00:08:09,091 --> 00:08:11,268
But obviously, this
is bad for the mission.
206
00:08:15,505 --> 00:08:16,910
Uh, getting dark in here.
207
00:08:16,921 --> 00:08:19,360
Yeah, two ways.
208
00:08:19,371 --> 00:08:21,309
What do you mean the
Vanguard has no leader?
209
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,291
We're nonhierarchical.
210
00:08:23,368 --> 00:08:24,752
Everyone is the leader.
211
00:08:24,763 --> 00:08:26,099
To wipe out the Vanguard,
212
00:08:26,109 --> 00:08:28,478
you have to kill all 61 members.
213
00:08:28,489 --> 00:08:31,146
Technically 60. I
accidentally drowned a guy.
214
00:08:31,157 --> 00:08:33,780
Maybe you know him? Bald?
Lungs like a baby bird?
215
00:08:36,494 --> 00:08:38,866
Damn! And damn.
216
00:08:38,899 --> 00:08:41,504
- 59. So we're tied.
- Not for long.
217
00:08:41,515 --> 00:08:43,687
- It's not a contest!
- But it could be.
218
00:08:43,698 --> 00:08:45,668
We've got a lot of Vanguard to take out.
219
00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:48,117
And an odd number. You
know, to avoid ties.
220
00:08:48,172 --> 00:08:49,943
Yeah, 'cause that's
the most important thing
221
00:08:49,954 --> 00:08:51,391
in a murder contest.
222
00:08:51,402 --> 00:08:53,373
The murders were accidents, Ray.
223
00:08:53,384 --> 00:08:55,944
- This will be more like...
- A concussion contest.
224
00:08:55,955 --> 00:08:58,508
Exactly, but never
finish my sentence again.
225
00:08:58,519 --> 00:09:00,776
It's on. Whoever knocks
out the most guards
226
00:09:00,809 --> 00:09:02,480
is officially the loosest cannon.
227
00:09:02,513 --> 00:09:04,484
- Loser is...
- A normal lady cannon?
228
00:09:04,517 --> 00:09:06,418
If that's the label you prefer.
229
00:09:08,157 --> 00:09:09,627
Wait, you're okay?
230
00:09:11,820 --> 00:09:13,824
Nope. So that's two me, and...
231
00:09:13,835 --> 00:09:15,406
All the rest me!
232
00:09:15,439 --> 00:09:18,036
Oh, good, another
mission based on spite.
233
00:09:18,047 --> 00:09:19,614
I know!
234
00:09:19,773 --> 00:09:21,406
Wait, was that sarcasm?
235
00:09:21,417 --> 00:09:22,575
I'm thrilled.
236
00:09:22,586 --> 00:09:24,623
A rescue mission on a commercial plane
237
00:09:24,634 --> 00:09:25,870
with checked guns
238
00:09:25,881 --> 00:09:27,418
to save agents who failed to accomplish
239
00:09:27,429 --> 00:09:28,932
our first mission for Interpol,
240
00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:31,649
thus putting the entire future
of this agency in jeopardy.
241
00:09:31,660 --> 00:09:33,162
Also, the moron in front of me
242
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:35,044
leaned his seat all the way back!
243
00:09:35,077 --> 00:09:38,036
Hey, I'm just exercising
my right to recline.
244
00:09:38,047 --> 00:09:39,765
And your right to suck.
245
00:09:39,776 --> 00:09:41,447
I am calling the flight attendant.
246
00:09:41,524 --> 00:09:44,096
Fine, go crying to your sky mom.
247
00:09:44,129 --> 00:09:45,833
I just wanted to do things
differently, you know,
248
00:09:45,866 --> 00:09:47,192
be the steady hand in the office,
249
00:09:47,203 --> 00:09:48,516
but instead, here I am,
250
00:09:48,527 --> 00:09:49,863
first mission in charge,
back in the field.
251
00:09:49,874 --> 00:09:51,110
Maybe I can't leave.
252
00:09:51,121 --> 00:09:52,935
I mean, Archer doesn't
work well on his own.
253
00:09:52,946 --> 00:09:54,684
- Are you okay?
- No.
254
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,833
My submarine has bigger seats than this!
255
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,599
I asked you to charter
us a private plane.
256
00:09:59,610 --> 00:10:01,954
And I thought flying
commercial would be funny!
257
00:10:01,965 --> 00:10:03,936
They actually give you peanuts.
258
00:10:03,969 --> 00:10:05,973
I thought that was
some kind of weird joke.
259
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,110
Five perfectly good bioweapons
260
00:10:08,143 --> 00:10:09,847
thrown in a public trash can.
261
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,453
They should be in a
terrorist's trash can!
262
00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:15,252
Stop saying those words on a plane.
263
00:10:15,263 --> 00:10:16,817
Sir, I'm gonna need you
264
00:10:16,828 --> 00:10:18,975
to come with me to
the back of the plane.
265
00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:20,691
Ooh, upgrade.
266
00:10:22,973 --> 00:10:25,612
I'll save your peanuts for later.
267
00:10:28,785 --> 00:10:30,756
Oh, I'm sorry. Were
you gonna knock him out?
268
00:10:30,789 --> 00:10:32,158
No.
269
00:10:32,191 --> 00:10:34,229
I was going to knock him out.
270
00:10:34,263 --> 00:10:36,159
So you won't mind if I go after...
271
00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:41,107
The slowest, sickest guard
on some future mission?
272
00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:43,615
Not at all.
273
00:10:43,626 --> 00:10:46,064
You know, in a weird, accidental way,
274
00:10:46,075 --> 00:10:47,612
they're kind of a good team.
275
00:11:00,081 --> 00:11:03,054
Yeah, they're a regular
Farrell and Balanchine.
276
00:11:03,087 --> 00:11:05,191
Yeah, including the awkward age gap.
277
00:11:06,716 --> 00:11:08,254
Call it a tie?
278
00:11:08,932 --> 00:11:10,736
Hey, he was already unconscious!
279
00:11:10,747 --> 00:11:12,618
And excessive force is the tiebreaker.
280
00:11:12,629 --> 00:11:15,134
Point Archer, which means...
281
00:11:15,211 --> 00:11:18,343
I'm winning.
282
00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:21,784
Damn, you guys have a cafeteria?
283
00:11:21,795 --> 00:11:24,568
We have to pay for our meals.
284
00:11:24,616 --> 00:11:26,823
I'm just saying, if
the choice was between
285
00:11:26,834 --> 00:11:29,417
eating this meal and the plane crashing,
286
00:11:29,428 --> 00:11:31,566
I would choose the plane crash.
287
00:11:31,577 --> 00:11:35,218
The chicken is very good.
My compliments to the chef.
288
00:11:35,229 --> 00:11:37,668
Any chance the captain
could speed this flight up?
289
00:11:37,723 --> 00:11:39,025
We're in a bit of a rush.
290
00:11:40,675 --> 00:11:43,211
Maybe stepping up to run the
agency was the wrong move.
291
00:11:43,222 --> 00:11:44,793
I mean, I thought being
in the office would be
292
00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:46,274
better for AJ, but not if I end up
293
00:11:46,307 --> 00:11:48,812
in the field every mission,
and Cheryl, I need you to stop.
294
00:11:48,845 --> 00:11:50,883
I need more room!
295
00:11:50,916 --> 00:11:52,653
This is like a plane for bugs!
296
00:11:52,686 --> 00:11:54,557
Ma'am, just a reminder
297
00:11:54,568 --> 00:11:56,873
that the captain has turned
on the fasten seat belt sign.
298
00:11:56,928 --> 00:11:59,226
Just a reminder that I don't care.
299
00:11:59,237 --> 00:12:01,326
Ma'am, I need you to calm down.
300
00:12:01,452 --> 00:12:03,823
You are alarming the other passengers.
301
00:12:03,887 --> 00:12:05,935
Well, they should be alarmed,
because I'm gonna buy this plane
302
00:12:05,946 --> 00:12:07,048
and crash it into the ground
303
00:12:07,081 --> 00:12:08,748
where all the other poor people live.
304
00:12:08,759 --> 00:12:11,631
The sky is for the
rich, you fucking bugs!
305
00:12:23,982 --> 00:12:25,786
25.
306
00:12:25,819 --> 00:12:26,988
21.
307
00:12:27,021 --> 00:12:29,059
26 and 27.
308
00:12:29,092 --> 00:12:31,063
Ugh, 21 again.
309
00:12:31,096 --> 00:12:33,735
Get your own.
310
00:12:33,768 --> 00:12:36,608
I'm not the one who needs
to lay off the carbs.
311
00:12:36,619 --> 00:12:38,723
Ha! Oh, now we're body-shaming?
312
00:12:38,734 --> 00:12:41,707
Call it body-constructive criticism.
313
00:12:41,784 --> 00:12:44,222
Same side, assholes!
314
00:12:46,037 --> 00:12:47,541
- Pam, stop.
- What?
315
00:12:47,596 --> 00:12:48,799
We need an odd number of guards.
316
00:12:48,832 --> 00:12:51,213
If you knock one out,
Zara and I might tie.
317
00:12:51,224 --> 00:12:53,575
Come on. Seriously?
318
00:12:55,757 --> 00:12:58,663
Hey, uh, before we
do this, one question.
319
00:12:58,674 --> 00:13:00,666
Is anyone out sick today?
320
00:13:04,604 --> 00:13:07,101
What is happening?
We landed an hour ago.
321
00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:08,282
Excuse me.
322
00:13:08,293 --> 00:13:10,029
Lana, we're not supposed
323
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,222
to take off our seat belts
until we're at the gate.
324
00:13:12,233 --> 00:13:13,670
And the gate is right there.
325
00:13:13,681 --> 00:13:15,379
Do they not know this
is a rescue mission?
326
00:13:15,390 --> 00:13:18,057
On a commercial flight?
Huh. How would they not?
327
00:13:18,308 --> 00:13:19,545
Are they leaving?
328
00:13:19,556 --> 00:13:21,196
Hey! Hey!
329
00:13:21,375 --> 00:13:23,537
You have a plane full of people here!
330
00:13:23,548 --> 00:13:25,839
Ma'am, it's not yet safe to stand.
331
00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:27,910
Oh, not safe? Why?
332
00:13:27,921 --> 00:13:30,627
Are we in danger of running
into one of the zero employees
333
00:13:30,682 --> 00:13:31,929
currently helping out there?
334
00:13:31,940 --> 00:13:34,580
- Ma'am...
- Oh, do not "ma'am" me.
335
00:13:34,591 --> 00:13:36,683
I have jumped out of
planes over war zones
336
00:13:36,694 --> 00:13:38,632
with a parachute made from a negligee.
337
00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:40,146
I think I'll be fine crossing the tarmac
338
00:13:40,157 --> 00:13:42,160
at Baklava International Airport.
339
00:13:42,171 --> 00:13:43,675
Don't you dare come
at me with that ta...
340
00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:52,404
Ah, will you look at
that? An eye massager.
341
00:13:52,459 --> 00:13:55,265
What'll they think of next?
342
00:14:03,848 --> 00:14:04,884
How many is that?
343
00:14:04,917 --> 00:14:06,955
Uh, little busy avoiding death
344
00:14:06,988 --> 00:14:08,533
and not being able to fight back.
345
00:14:08,544 --> 00:14:11,297
Well, I count 30!
346
00:14:11,330 --> 00:14:12,666
Same.
347
00:14:14,135 --> 00:14:15,706
Ah! Damn it!
348
00:14:17,376 --> 00:14:19,914
- Seriously?
- That face belongs to my fist!
349
00:14:19,947 --> 00:14:22,218
- I could also just leave.
- No!
350
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:30,056
50 on Archer, but 20 on Zara
to break one of his arms.
351
00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:32,339
Ugh, who puts olives in lasagna?
352
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,578
They are in season.
353
00:14:37,574 --> 00:14:39,243
Enough.
354
00:14:39,254 --> 00:14:40,789
Uh, can whatever this is wait
355
00:14:40,822 --> 00:14:42,726
until I knock out this terrified man?
356
00:14:42,759 --> 00:14:44,263
I'm afraid not.
357
00:14:44,296 --> 00:14:47,101
I'm the Warden, leader of the Vanguard.
358
00:14:47,134 --> 00:14:48,872
- Wha...
- Ugh!
359
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,862
Sorry, it's not you.
360
00:14:50,873 --> 00:14:53,475
It's just, now there is an even number.
361
00:14:58,056 --> 00:15:01,129
Look at us. Tied with our own zips.
362
00:15:01,162 --> 00:15:03,617
Ugh, don't remind me... of the tie.
363
00:15:03,628 --> 00:15:05,004
It's 30 to 30.
364
00:15:05,037 --> 00:15:07,336
Is that seriously what you're
thinking about right now?
365
00:15:07,347 --> 00:15:09,045
I mean... yes?
366
00:15:09,078 --> 00:15:11,033
You know, I'm beginning to think
367
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:13,755
you're not aspiring new recruits.
368
00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:15,859
We are, but she's a spy.
369
00:15:15,892 --> 00:15:17,796
Ugh, we're all spies.
370
00:15:17,807 --> 00:15:19,154
Is this still part of your plan?
371
00:15:19,165 --> 00:15:21,271
"Plan" in massive air quotes.
372
00:15:21,282 --> 00:15:24,053
Pretty sure y'all's little
competition derailed the plan.
373
00:15:24,064 --> 00:15:25,768
- Or did it?
- It did.
374
00:15:25,779 --> 00:15:27,225
- I derailed you.
- Ha!
375
00:15:27,236 --> 00:15:29,207
So you admit there was a plan to derail.
376
00:15:29,218 --> 00:15:31,134
No! Uh, shit. Hang on, I...
377
00:15:32,793 --> 00:15:34,296
Do I have your attention?
378
00:15:34,307 --> 00:15:35,343
Not really, no.
379
00:15:36,767 --> 00:15:37,969
Have you ever heard that you catch
380
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,317
more flies with honey?
381
00:15:39,328 --> 00:15:41,483
Oh, right in the same hole!
382
00:15:41,494 --> 00:15:43,171
Probably just luck.
383
00:15:43,182 --> 00:15:44,191
Oh!
384
00:15:44,202 --> 00:15:45,919
It's not luck.
385
00:15:45,952 --> 00:15:48,234
Same hole again. This guy's good.
386
00:15:48,245 --> 00:15:50,249
Okay. You have his attention.
387
00:15:50,260 --> 00:15:52,833
Still can't believe
you're not nonhierarchical.
388
00:15:52,866 --> 00:15:54,904
A lie for my protection.
389
00:15:54,937 --> 00:15:57,041
If no one believes there's a leader,
390
00:15:57,074 --> 00:15:59,212
there's no leader to find.
391
00:15:59,245 --> 00:16:01,083
But, you know, someone
has to write the checks
392
00:16:01,116 --> 00:16:02,853
and decide which holidays to take off.
393
00:16:02,886 --> 00:16:04,583
Oh, we've got someone like that.
394
00:16:04,594 --> 00:16:06,093
She's, uh, new at the job,
395
00:16:06,126 --> 00:16:08,430
but feel confident
saying she's bad at it.
396
00:16:08,441 --> 00:16:10,489
It's certainly not going to help
397
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:13,139
that she's lost an entire team.
398
00:16:13,150 --> 00:16:15,510
What? What? What? What?
399
00:16:15,521 --> 00:16:18,232
Why tie us up if you're just
gonna shoot us right way?
400
00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:20,616
Why give 60 men concussions?
401
00:16:20,627 --> 00:16:23,633
You have your process, and I have mine.
402
00:16:23,644 --> 00:16:26,287
Wait! Are you really the
leader of the Vanguard?
403
00:16:26,298 --> 00:16:27,722
- Yes.
- But really?
404
00:16:27,733 --> 00:16:28,835
Really, really?
405
00:16:28,846 --> 00:16:30,788
- Yes.
- Great.
406
00:16:31,955 --> 00:16:33,326
What the hell just happened?
407
00:16:33,337 --> 00:16:35,431
- Is that...
- Step 12.
408
00:16:35,442 --> 00:16:36,791
Archer has a shoe phone.
409
00:16:36,802 --> 00:16:38,174
I have a shoe gun.
410
00:16:38,185 --> 00:16:39,382
Seems more useful.
411
00:16:39,393 --> 00:16:43,242
Oh, also, that's 31 to 30, so I win.
412
00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:44,623
Step 12?
413
00:16:44,634 --> 00:16:47,509
I thought we were still on step nine!
414
00:16:47,564 --> 00:16:50,571
Zara, I'm gonna tell you
what I told the dry cleaner
415
00:16:50,582 --> 00:16:53,036
who got yuzu off my yukata:
416
00:16:53,047 --> 00:16:55,569
- you might be a genius.
- Yeah, you might...
417
00:16:55,580 --> 00:16:57,050
Warden down.
418
00:16:57,061 --> 00:17:00,762
Vanguard base to
self-destruct in five minutes.
419
00:17:00,773 --> 00:17:03,575
The base explodes if the Warden dies?
420
00:17:03,608 --> 00:17:06,914
Does the new leader have to
build a completely new base?
421
00:17:06,947 --> 00:17:08,318
I'm a little more concerned
422
00:17:08,351 --> 00:17:10,154
about how we're all tied to chairs
423
00:17:10,187 --> 00:17:12,292
in a building that's about to explode.
424
00:17:12,325 --> 00:17:14,530
So, genius, what part
of the plan is this?
425
00:17:14,563 --> 00:17:15,999
Technically, the plan only went up
426
00:17:16,032 --> 00:17:17,536
to killing the leader of the Vanguard,
427
00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:21,009
so I guess the plan is to
blow up in five minutes.
428
00:17:21,042 --> 00:17:22,279
New plan.
429
00:17:22,312 --> 00:17:24,383
Hope that the shoe
phones are waterproof.
430
00:17:27,154 --> 00:17:28,591
- Archer.
- You'll have to speak up.
431
00:17:28,624 --> 00:17:31,029
I'm calling on a long-distance shoe.
432
00:17:31,062 --> 00:17:32,299
We'll be there in five minutes.
433
00:17:32,332 --> 00:17:33,568
Although, full disclosure,
434
00:17:33,601 --> 00:17:35,171
the airline lost our bags,
435
00:17:35,204 --> 00:17:37,822
so we don't have any
weapons or beach clothes.
436
00:17:37,833 --> 00:17:39,671
Uh, additional full disclosure,
437
00:17:39,682 --> 00:17:41,183
we're blowing up in four minutes.
438
00:17:41,216 --> 00:17:42,218
- What?
- Okay, tell them
439
00:17:42,251 --> 00:17:43,455
we have one knife.
440
00:17:43,488 --> 00:17:45,024
Oh, where did you get that?
441
00:17:45,057 --> 00:17:47,329
- Uh, I brought it?
- On the plane?
442
00:17:47,340 --> 00:17:48,342
It's ceramic.
443
00:17:48,353 --> 00:17:50,089
Lana, in case we explode,
444
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:52,620
I want you to know,
I've never respected...
445
00:17:52,631 --> 00:17:54,201
Archer? Archer.
446
00:17:54,212 --> 00:17:55,582
The battery must be dead.
447
00:17:55,593 --> 00:17:57,698
I told him I could've fit more batteries
448
00:17:57,709 --> 00:17:59,379
in a kitten heel.
449
00:18:00,054 --> 00:18:02,292
On the bright side, now
that we're tied to chairs
450
00:18:02,325 --> 00:18:03,795
instead of a cave ceiling,
451
00:18:03,806 --> 00:18:06,623
I can move close enough to do this.
452
00:18:06,634 --> 00:18:09,427
Do what? Kick the air near me?
453
00:18:09,438 --> 00:18:10,834
You know that wasn't my intent!
454
00:18:10,845 --> 00:18:12,100
Fight toward an exit.
455
00:18:12,111 --> 00:18:13,915
We've got three minutes.
456
00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,932
All you'd have to do is sit here,
457
00:18:16,943 --> 00:18:20,318
and you'd never have to deal
with any of them ever again.
458
00:18:22,097 --> 00:18:24,169
And miss all that good TV?
459
00:18:24,409 --> 00:18:25,639
No.
460
00:18:29,145 --> 00:18:30,982
Whoa!
461
00:18:49,453 --> 00:18:50,956
Just let me go first!
462
00:18:50,989 --> 00:18:52,661
I'd rather die.
463
00:18:52,672 --> 00:18:55,532
- You're about to.
- You don't know my explosion tolerance!
464
00:18:55,543 --> 00:18:57,313
Grudge later, you dicks.
465
00:19:00,053 --> 00:19:02,434
Oh, thank God. I'm so glad to see you.
466
00:19:04,742 --> 00:19:07,413
31! We tied.
467
00:19:09,535 --> 00:19:11,553
Oh, thank God. We're not too late.
468
00:19:13,612 --> 00:19:16,351
Not too late for what, s'mores?
469
00:19:16,362 --> 00:19:18,199
Oh, my God.
470
00:19:18,469 --> 00:19:20,169
They're... they're gone.
471
00:19:20,180 --> 00:19:22,018
They're... they're really gone.
472
00:19:22,051 --> 00:19:24,274
If we can find even a shred of DNA,
473
00:19:24,285 --> 00:19:26,126
I can bring them back.
474
00:19:26,137 --> 00:19:27,574
In the bodies of dogs.
475
00:19:27,828 --> 00:19:29,277
Any dog you want.
476
00:19:29,288 --> 00:19:31,532
Collies, Labradors, pugs.
477
00:19:31,543 --> 00:19:32,679
Look!
478
00:19:43,220 --> 00:19:45,152
How do I keep forgetting I can do that?
479
00:19:45,163 --> 00:19:46,625
Because you don't want
to admit to yourself
480
00:19:46,636 --> 00:19:47,872
that you're an abomination?
481
00:19:47,883 --> 00:19:49,673
Oh, there it is.
482
00:19:50,010 --> 00:19:51,699
- Lana Kane.
- Zara Kahn.
483
00:19:51,710 --> 00:19:53,548
So the leader of the Vanguard is dead.
484
00:19:53,581 --> 00:19:55,184
Their facility is destroyed.
485
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:57,813
I believe Interpol would consider
that a mission accomplished.
486
00:19:57,824 --> 00:19:59,293
Congratulations.
487
00:19:59,326 --> 00:20:02,266
And better luck next time, lady cannon.
488
00:20:02,299 --> 00:20:04,537
Uh, more like same luck this time.
489
00:20:04,548 --> 00:20:05,683
I got the final guard on the way out,
490
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,709
which means we tied.
What do you say to that?
491
00:20:07,742 --> 00:20:10,282
Step 5B: provide a metaphorical fig leaf
492
00:20:10,315 --> 00:20:12,488
for your limp, wilting ego.
493
00:20:12,499 --> 00:20:15,024
There were sub-steps?
494
00:20:15,035 --> 00:20:17,072
There were sub-steps.
495
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,154
Uh, what's happening on this mission?
496
00:20:19,231 --> 00:20:21,737
A commercial airline
made a powerful enemy.
497
00:20:21,770 --> 00:20:23,474
Your attitude was tanking the mission,
498
00:20:23,507 --> 00:20:25,365
so I gave you a goal to get you in line.
499
00:20:25,376 --> 00:20:26,813
It's not a contest!
500
00:20:26,824 --> 00:20:28,421
But it could be.
501
00:20:28,432 --> 00:20:30,633
You thought you were proving
you were a loose cannon.
502
00:20:30,644 --> 00:20:33,516
I had you tied down the whole time.
503
00:20:33,527 --> 00:20:36,199
No, that's... I... this doesn't
make you the loose cannon!
504
00:20:36,232 --> 00:20:37,861
Oh, I'm not a loose cannon.
505
00:20:37,872 --> 00:20:40,775
I'm more a shotgun filled with scalpels.
506
00:20:40,808 --> 00:20:42,178
Ooh, I'm getting one of those.
507
00:20:42,211 --> 00:20:44,617
How have I not made one of those?
508
00:20:44,628 --> 00:20:48,057
Hmm, maybe I don't need to go
back in the field after all.
509
00:20:48,068 --> 00:20:49,382
How would you like a new job?
510
00:20:49,393 --> 00:20:50,697
Would I have to relocate?
511
00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:52,521
- I'm based in Europe.
- Oh. Uh...
512
00:20:52,532 --> 00:20:54,884
And if I do relocate, is
there a moving stipend?
513
00:20:54,895 --> 00:20:56,496
Also, am I under a fixed contract?
514
00:20:56,507 --> 00:20:58,210
Who deals with my migration status?
515
00:20:58,243 --> 00:21:00,080
And if I quit, do I
get to keep the stipend?
516
00:21:00,113 --> 00:21:01,858
Uh, sure that we can do, um...
517
00:21:01,869 --> 00:21:04,088
No! I'm fucking with you.
518
00:21:04,121 --> 00:21:05,625
I've been looking for a new challenge,
519
00:21:05,658 --> 00:21:07,979
and you seem like a better
boss than those Interpol pricks.
520
00:21:07,990 --> 00:21:10,671
But I want what Archer makes, plus $1.
521
00:21:10,682 --> 00:21:12,238
Wha... on what basis?
522
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:14,242
On the basis that I was
the best at Interpol.
523
00:21:14,276 --> 00:21:16,756
I'll be the best at
whatever you guys are.
524
00:21:16,767 --> 00:21:19,520
- Deal. You are hired.
- What?
525
00:21:19,553 --> 00:21:21,424
You know, I sort of
liked flying commercial.
526
00:21:21,457 --> 00:21:23,294
There was more bondage than I expected.
527
00:21:23,393 --> 00:21:24,696
What just happened?
528
00:21:24,707 --> 00:21:26,711
I think you just got a new partner
529
00:21:26,722 --> 00:21:29,127
who technically makes more than you.
530
00:21:29,138 --> 00:21:30,408
Like I care.
531
00:21:30,441 --> 00:21:32,038
Cyril, do you think
she knows I don't care?
532
00:21:32,049 --> 00:21:34,164
- I don't know.
- Well, she needs to,
533
00:21:34,175 --> 00:21:36,375
because I don't.
534
00:21:36,734 --> 00:21:37,955
Zara?
535
00:21:38,098 --> 00:21:39,636
Zara?
536
00:21:39,669 --> 00:21:41,640
Zara!
537
00:21:44,465 --> 00:21:49,465
- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
538
00:22:03,450 --> 00:22:06,355
Made in Georgia.
38664
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