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1
00:00:02,377 --> 00:00:03,670
[ALARM CLOCK BEEPING]
2
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,172
[BEEPING STOPS]
3
00:00:05,172 --> 00:00:08,008
Ah. Ten more minutes. Nice.
4
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,842
[BEEPING]
5
00:00:09,842 --> 00:00:10,677
[BEEPING STOPS]
6
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:12,720
Ah. Ten more minutes.
7
00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,140
[IN FALSETTO]
Sweet.
8
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:21,188
[ALARM CLOCK BEEPS]
9
00:00:21,979 --> 00:00:24,649
[BEEPING]
10
00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:28,528
[BEEPING]
11
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:30,863
Rise and shine, lazy.
Let's go.
12
00:00:30,863 --> 00:00:33,741
[SE�OR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS"
PLAYING]
13
00:00:33,741 --> 00:00:38,121
?? How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ??
14
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:44,001
?? How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ??
15
00:00:44,001 --> 00:00:46,504
?? With you by my side ??
16
00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:48,215
?? There is no denyin' ??
17
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:52,635
?? I can't wait
For me and you ??
18
00:00:57,849 --> 00:01:01,103
[??????]
19
00:01:01,769 --> 00:01:03,146
And I was only 9,
20
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:06,858
but I knew it was the last time
that I would spend with her.
21
00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:09,111
So I held back my tears
22
00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:11,529
and I took her tiny paw
in my hand
23
00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:13,990
and I said, "Sprinkles--"
24
00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:15,492
[YAWNS]
25
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:18,786
I said, "Sprinkles,
you are my best--"
26
00:01:18,786 --> 00:01:19,662
[YAWNING]
27
00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:20,830
Really, Audrey?
28
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:22,832
Sorry.
RUSSELL: Don't apologize.
29
00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:25,418
You said what
we were all thinking.
30
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,587
No, go ahead, Jen.
Finish your story.
31
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:30,715
She died,
the end, whatever.
32
00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:32,217
No, babe,
it's not your story.
33
00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:33,968
I'm just--
I'm really tired,
34
00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:35,052
thanks to you.
RUSSELL: Yeah?
35
00:01:35,052 --> 00:01:38,390
The old guy managed to crank up
his rig last night?
36
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:42,101
How would you like
to go meet Sprinkles?
37
00:01:42,101 --> 00:01:43,186
[LAUGHS]
Please continue.
38
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:46,063
Jeff likes to set the alarm
way before he has to get up,
39
00:01:46,063 --> 00:01:47,815
and then he hits the snooze
over and over.
40
00:01:47,815 --> 00:01:50,902
I can never get back to sleep.
It's great when I wake up
41
00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:52,779
and realize I got
10 more minutes.
42
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:53,780
It's not a great feeling.
43
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,741
It happened to me three times
during her story.
44
00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:59,076
Smell you later, losers.
45
00:01:59,076 --> 00:02:02,330
When you do that,
I can't get back to sleep.
46
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:05,750
Can't you set the alarm for when
you actually have to get up?
47
00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:08,711
I wouldn't get
the extra bonus sleep.
48
00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:10,838
No, you'd get
the same amount.
49
00:02:10,838 --> 00:02:14,301
Yes, but I wouldn't
know it.
50
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,343
I get that.
51
00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:16,803
Stay out of this.
52
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,680
But I'm supporting you.
53
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,557
Still.
54
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:21,933
Who controls your alarm?
55
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:24,227
Well, it varies.
How's that?
56
00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:25,978
We don't have
set sides of the bed.
57
00:02:25,978 --> 00:02:27,605
We sort of
lie down wherever.
58
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:30,567
What are you,
farm animals?
59
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,109
God, what do you care?
60
00:02:32,109 --> 00:02:34,279
Couples have set sides
of the bed.
61
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:35,863
Come on,
to each their own, Jeff.
62
00:02:35,863 --> 00:02:39,242
Absolutely not.
Please, walk me through this.
63
00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:43,871
You get ready for bed. You put
your sweats on, whatever...
64
00:02:43,871 --> 00:02:44,997
No, we sleep naked.
65
00:02:44,997 --> 00:02:47,459
I'm sorry, what?
66
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:49,168
Totally naked.
67
00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:51,754
Except for a pair
of moisturizing gloves.
68
00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:52,755
Oh, do those work?
69
00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:54,966
I don't know. Ask Adam.
70
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:55,883
Oh, I'm good.
71
00:02:55,883 --> 00:02:58,094
So there's no barrier
72
00:02:58,094 --> 00:02:59,637
between your business
73
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:00,388
and your bed?
74
00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:02,849
Correct.
So your sheets become
75
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,727
a giant pair of underpants?
76
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,437
What do you care
what we do?
77
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,480
Just stay out of this.
78
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,732
But this is my thing.
JEFF: Whatever.
79
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:13,109
No sides, no clothes,
no rules.
80
00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:15,695
Basically your bedroom
is Thunderdome.
81
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:18,114
Thunderdome,
like that movie?
82
00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:19,657
Like, 100 years ago?
83
00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:20,617
Whatever.
84
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,910
Filthy, naked hippies.
85
00:03:22,910 --> 00:03:25,079
Would you leave them alone?
86
00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:28,082
Fine, but you know what?
This isn't over.
87
00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:30,209
How is it not over?
88
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,170
Your burger
is really undercooked.
89
00:03:33,170 --> 00:03:34,046
No, it's fine.
90
00:03:34,046 --> 00:03:36,132
No, babe, it's raw.
Just send it back.
91
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:39,261
Risk upsetting the waitress?
Adam would never do anything
92
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:41,388
that would make someone
not like him.
93
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,223
It still happens, though.
94
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,767
[??????]
95
00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:50,438
Timmy, get in here.
96
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:53,733
Yes, sir?
97
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:56,110
What are all these people
lining up for?
98
00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:58,321
Ooh, is there a concert?
I wanna see it.
99
00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:00,114
Is it food?
I wanna eat it.
100
00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:02,534
Is it an author I don't know
signing some book
101
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:05,370
I've never heard of?
I gotta get a copy.
102
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,830
Sir, calm down.
103
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,291
Why, are they calming down?
104
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:11,668
They're waiting to purchase
the latest version
105
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:15,004
of the newest must-have phone.
Ooh, I must have it.
106
00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:17,131
Very well, I'll put it
on my to-do list.
107
00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:19,967
No, no, no. Go get in line
right now. I want it now.
108
00:04:19,967 --> 00:04:22,554
The phone doesn't go
on sale until tomorrow morning.
109
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:25,890
While you were mouthing off, two
more people just got in line.
110
00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:28,310
You actually want me to stand
out there overnight?
111
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:31,479
Well, I'm afraid I can't.
My uncle is in town--
112
00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:32,480
Oh, okay, oh.
113
00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,607
No, let me just call Galileo,
114
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:35,358
tell him he was wrong.
115
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:39,487
Apparently all the planets
revolve around Timmy.
116
00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:42,824
You should actually be calling
Copernicus, sir,
117
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:45,327
because it was he
who first postulated--
118
00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:48,955
Stop raping my ears
with your words.
119
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:51,958
Now let's go get me
that phone.
120
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,501
But-- But--
But, but.
121
00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:55,670
What are butts for?
122
00:04:57,755 --> 00:04:59,382
Butts are for pooping.
123
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,593
That's right.
124
00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:04,053
[??????]
125
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:08,933
I'm just saying, enough with
all these sexy vampire shows.
126
00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:12,186
Am I right,
or am I right?
127
00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:13,938
What are you doing?
128
00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:16,566
I just felt like sleeping
on this side tonight.
129
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:18,568
You can't. That's my side.
[LAUGHS]
130
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:21,988
Look, I was thinking,
Adam and Jen are right.
131
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,531
Why do we have
to have sides?
132
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:26,326
Plus, I get to control
the alarm clock for a change.
133
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,411
You want to be more
like Adam and Jen.
134
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:29,537
Well, let's sleep naked too.
135
00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:32,123
Let our loose parts
flop all over the place.
136
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:36,210
I just want to get
a full night's sleep for once.
137
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:38,254
Our sides of the bed
are locked in.
138
00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:40,840
You throw out the rules,
next thing you know,
139
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,009
it'sThunderdome.
140
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:46,095
You really need to stop
watching that DVD.
141
00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:47,847
Look, I'm just saying
142
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:51,434
we don't need
another hero.
143
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:51,934
[LAUGHS]
144
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:54,521
Come on. You're the one
who's always saying
145
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,731
you wanna shake things up
in the bedroom.
146
00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,608
Yeah, like,
maybe watch some porn
147
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:01,611
or invite your friend
Sheila over.
148
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:04,531
Oh, just get in bed.
149
00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:08,284
FYI, Sheila just got engaged.
150
00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:09,326
Oh! Really?
151
00:06:09,326 --> 00:06:11,370
Oh, yeah,
because before that,
152
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:14,499
it was a possibility.
153
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:16,543
I know that
you're being sarcastic,
154
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:19,921
but later, when I relive
that conversation,
155
00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:22,298
you won't be.
156
00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:24,216
There's not even
an indentation here.
157
00:06:24,216 --> 00:06:28,387
Well, there is over here
in Body Hair Canyon.
158
00:06:28,387 --> 00:06:30,181
What, are you molting?
159
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:33,059
All you got over here
is "Sudok-oh."
160
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:35,019
You know how I feel
about "Sudok-oh."
161
00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:38,022
Yes, you feel like an idiot
because you don't know
162
00:06:38,022 --> 00:06:40,525
how to pronounce it.
Here.
163
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:44,278
Skim this fitness
and retain nothing.
164
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:51,619
The light's hitting it
all funny.
165
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:54,246
There's a draft over here.
166
00:06:54,246 --> 00:06:56,082
I am much further
from the bathroom.
167
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,375
That's gonna throw off
my timing.
168
00:06:58,375 --> 00:06:59,586
Oh, God.
169
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:03,548
[LAUGHING]
You are such a baby.
170
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:04,466
Just go to sleep.
171
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:09,846
I am looking forward to waking
up rested and refreshed.
172
00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:15,142
[CLATTERING]
AUDREY: What was that?
173
00:07:15,142 --> 00:07:20,231
JEFF:
I just groped the phone instead of your boob.
174
00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:24,861
AUDREY:
Oh, goody, you found it.
175
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,821
[??????]
176
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,700
I love these sexy
vampire shows.
177
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:33,745
But don't tell Jeff,
because he doesn't like them.
178
00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:35,997
[ELECTRIC GUITAR BLARING
UPSTAIRS]
179
00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:38,332
Oh, my God,
the guy upstairs.
180
00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:40,627
It's, like, the third night
in a row.
181
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,419
I know.
What a bummer, huh?
182
00:07:42,419 --> 00:07:45,965
Gee, I wonder which one of us
is gonna go up to talk to him.
183
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,300
What's that supposed to mean?
Oh, come on,
184
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:49,469
you're not
gonna confront him.
185
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:53,264
He's just another uncooked
burger you're willing to eat.
186
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:54,265
You are wrong. I got this.
187
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:56,058
I don't care
what he thinks.
188
00:07:56,058 --> 00:07:58,978
The gloves are coming off.
189
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:06,694
[??????]
190
00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:07,654
You think that's bad?
191
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,490
Last weekend,
my boss' kid had a bar mitzvah.
192
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:13,493
My boss made me write
all the thank-you notes.
193
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:16,203
My boss doesn't even
know my name.
194
00:08:16,203 --> 00:08:18,372
He just calls me
"Skidmark."
195
00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:19,624
Pfft. Big deal.
196
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:22,752
My boss walks behind me
and smells my hair.
197
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:26,213
Then he locks himself
in his office for 20 minutes.
198
00:08:26,213 --> 00:08:28,800
Yeah? Here's a list of things
my boss threw at me
199
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,553
just last week:
his stapler, his sandwich,
200
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:35,598
my sandwich, and a rock
from his Zen garden.
201
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:39,018
Oh, and he smells my hair too.
202
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:39,811
You win.
203
00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:43,064
You have the most awful boss
in New York City.
204
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,903
Excuse me.
205
00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:50,029
If I may.
206
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:52,824
[??????]
207
00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:57,161
[ELECTRIC GUITAR BLARING]
208
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,874
[MUSIC STOPS]
209
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,252
Hey, uh, I'm Adam.
I live downstairs.
210
00:09:05,252 --> 00:09:07,880
I'm Frank.
Yeah, the thing is,
211
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,340
your guitar.
212
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:09,966
What about it?
213
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:13,219
I mean,
I think you're good.
214
00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:14,929
Dude, you shred.
215
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,931
Thanks. Come on in.
216
00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:19,475
[STRUMMING]
But the thing is,
217
00:09:19,475 --> 00:09:21,268
it might be a little loud.
218
00:09:21,268 --> 00:09:21,769
Oh, man, really?
219
00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:23,938
You're not gonna be one
of those guys?
220
00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:26,315
Okay, here's the deal.
221
00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:27,399
Yeah?
222
00:09:27,399 --> 00:09:29,235
It's not me.
223
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:31,070
It's my fianc�e, you know.
224
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:35,282
She's trying to watch one of
those romantic vampire shows.
225
00:09:35,282 --> 00:09:36,576
Oh, I hate those.
226
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,703
Yeah, me too.
227
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:39,912
Doing this for your lady, huh?
228
00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:42,456
Yeah, you get that, right?
Totally.
229
00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:43,082
Women, huh?
230
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:46,127
Yeah, I feel you, bro.
I'll unplug.
231
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,795
Hey, thanks a lot, man.
232
00:09:47,795 --> 00:09:48,921
No worries, man, I get it.
233
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:51,674
I've had my share
of psycho girlfriends.
234
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:55,344
Well, I mean, I really
wouldn't call mine psycho.
235
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,554
At least not to her face.
236
00:09:57,554 --> 00:09:58,890
[BOTH LAUGH]
237
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,850
[SNIFFS]
238
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:03,560
I smell...lavender?
239
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:05,479
Oh, yeah, no, I was just...
240
00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:08,482
You know,
punching some candles.
241
00:10:10,442 --> 00:10:13,738
And because Mr. Dunbar's arms
are so short,
242
00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:18,618
guess who had to apply
the ointment for him?
243
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,953
Directly on his--?
244
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:24,581
Every four hours.
245
00:10:24,581 --> 00:10:28,085
That is absolutely
horrifying.
246
00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:32,006
Now, let me tell you
what my second day was like.
247
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,966
[??????]
248
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:35,843
Huh?
249
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:37,929
Anyone else's business
250
00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,889
you want me all up in?
251
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,766
What did you say to him?
252
00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:45,144
I just got in his face,
laid down the law.
253
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,312
I'm impressed.
254
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,939
You stood up for your lady.
255
00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:48,773
Hell, yeah, I did.
256
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:53,027
Hm, so do you want
to finish watching
257
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,237
your vampire show,
258
00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:57,990
or maybe...?
259
00:10:57,990 --> 00:11:01,285
Definitely "or maybe."
260
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,789
But my--
My vampire show still--
261
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,833
It's recording, right?
262
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:09,335
[??????]
263
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,715
[ALARM CLOCK BEEPING]
264
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:17,802
Oh! My God, my eye!
265
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:25,351
Again, I am really,
really sorry.
266
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,477
Okay, Jeff.
267
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:29,355
How long do I have to keep
this thing on, doctor?
268
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:30,439
Just one or two days.
269
00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:32,817
Long enough
for the cornea to heal.
270
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:37,154
[IN IRISH ACCENT]
And will she still be able to plunder doubloons?
271
00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:40,157
That's the follow-up
to your big apology?
272
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:44,203
[NORMAL VOICE]
Take it easy, Tom Cruise in Valkyrie.
273
00:11:47,623 --> 00:11:48,791
Enough, all right?
274
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:51,085
My eye hurts
when I roll it.
275
00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:52,378
Oh, take these.
276
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,130
Uh, they're pretty
powerful.
277
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,256
They might
put you to sleep.
278
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:59,802
Hm. Or Jen can trot out
that dead-cat story again.
279
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:00,302
Thank you.
280
00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:02,429
JEFF:
You know, it doesn't look so bad.
281
00:12:02,429 --> 00:12:05,767
Nobody'll notice if you
let me draw an eyeball on it.
282
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:08,310
Jeff, you're not drawing
an eyeball on it.
283
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:12,023
You're right. It would probably
scare the parrot.
284
00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:14,483
I'm sorry. I feel bad.
285
00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:17,904
And it's not even my fault.
286
00:12:18,695 --> 00:12:19,571
Wha--?
287
00:12:19,571 --> 00:12:22,741
In what way is your giant,
meaty paw
288
00:12:22,741 --> 00:12:24,827
smacking me in the face
not your fault?
289
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:27,538
JEFF:
You're the one who wanted to switch sides.
290
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,623
I didn't wanna hit you
in the face.
291
00:12:29,623 --> 00:12:31,708
It was just force of habit.
292
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:37,214
All I wanted
was one little thing.
293
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:39,091
But lookit, I told you it was
a bad idea.
294
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:42,261
I warned you,
but you just wouldn't listen.
295
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:44,138
AUDREY:
I know.
296
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:47,683
I know, I know, I know.
297
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,601
I just should have
known better.
298
00:12:49,601 --> 00:12:51,187
Well, don't beat yourself up.
299
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,355
No, I'll leave that to you.
300
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:57,693
Boy, those meds
are making you mouthy.
301
00:12:57,693 --> 00:13:00,612
[??????]
302
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:05,034
[??????]
303
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:15,502
Check it out.
I just swiped some Jell-O.
304
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,177
I'm not hungry.
305
00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:26,638
I was hoping you'd say that.
306
00:13:27,764 --> 00:13:29,266
Those painkillers
kick in yet?
307
00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:32,228
How you feeling?
Mm, I feel good.
308
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,645
[CHUCKLES]
309
00:13:33,645 --> 00:13:34,563
Very, very good.
310
00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:37,984
Well, then this is probably
the best time to tell you
311
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:39,318
that when you went to Canc�n,
312
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:41,612
I reported
your credit card stolen.
313
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,323
That's why
it wouldn't work.
314
00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:51,122
I love pushing it
through my teeth. Watch.
315
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:54,000
[KNOCKS]
316
00:13:55,584 --> 00:13:58,295
Hi. I'm sorry this is taking
so long, but, Mr. Bingham,
317
00:13:58,295 --> 00:14:03,009
I'm gonna have to come with me
to fill out some paperwork.
318
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:10,349
What, is this about
the Jell-O?
319
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,143
Hi, Mrs. Bingham,
I'm Wendy.
320
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:14,937
I'm a social worker.
I wanted to check on you.
321
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,898
[LAUGHS]
Hi, Wendy.
322
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:17,481
Hi.
323
00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:21,027
Listen, I want you to know
that you are in a safe place.
324
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,486
So if you're comfortable...
325
00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:24,071
Oh, yeah, I'm comfortable.
326
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:26,282
I'm super comfy.
327
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:27,658
[LAUGHS]Good.
328
00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:29,869
And now I wanted to ask
about your injury.
329
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,621
Your husband did this to you,
didn't he?
330
00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:34,040
Oh, yeah.
331
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,624
[LAUGHS]
332
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:39,420
Big surprise.
333
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:40,629
Tell me what happened.
334
00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:42,839
Oh, it was my fault.
335
00:14:42,839 --> 00:14:45,467
It is never your fault.
336
00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:49,388
You know, I should've kept
my mouth shut
337
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:52,766
and stayed on my side
of the bed.
338
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:55,852
Is that what he told you?
339
00:14:55,852 --> 00:14:57,521
Oh, it doesn't matter.
340
00:14:57,521 --> 00:15:00,274
He's really,
really sorry.
341
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:03,485
And then he ate my Jell-O.
342
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:07,281
Well, everything's
going to be okay now.
343
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:09,491
Ah. How long is Jeff
gonna be gone?
344
00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:13,245
Oh, you don't have to worry
about him anymore.
345
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:17,917
Mr. Bingham.
346
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,335
Hey, what's up?
347
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,921
You son of a bitch.
348
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:24,048
You're going to have
to come with us.
349
00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:26,675
Oh, look, I'll pay
for the Jell-O.
350
00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:28,635
[??????]
351
00:15:28,635 --> 00:15:30,679
So instead of attending
my own birthday party,
352
00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:33,682
I spent the night explaining
to three adult-film actresses
353
00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:37,228
that none of them got the part
because there really was,
354
00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:39,771
in fact, no movie.
355
00:15:39,771 --> 00:15:43,359
And that sums up
the last six months.
356
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:45,611
All of that
in six months?
357
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:46,403
TIMMY:
Yes, Veronica.
358
00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:49,823
Oh, and Secretary's Day?
Not even a card.
359
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:50,741
Even I got a card.
360
00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:56,122
It said, "Take this
out of petty cash, Skidmark."
361
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:56,830
Oh, come on.
362
00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:57,957
Are you guys
really buying this?
363
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:01,168
I'm sorry? You think I've been
making these up all night?
364
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,795
What on Earth would I stand
to gain from doing that?
365
00:16:03,795 --> 00:16:06,590
I don't know. Maybe you just
like the attention.
366
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:09,176
Yes, that's what I crave:
attention from the gang
367
00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:11,303
in the "who's the biggest
loser?" contest.
368
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:14,431
Sorry, Veronica, I know you've
got some irons in the fire.
369
00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:17,643
Whatever, dude. No boss could
ever be that bad.
370
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:20,896
Well, it looks as though
you'll have a chance
371
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:22,231
to judge for yourself.
372
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:23,899
Here he comes now.
373
00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:26,943
MAN:
Where, behind that little blond girl?
374
00:16:26,943 --> 00:16:29,530
No, he is
the little blond girl.
375
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:30,781
Timmy.
376
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:31,532
Mr. Dunbar, good day.
377
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:35,995
How you doing? You okay?
I was worried about you. Here.
378
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,454
Come on,
he brought you coffee.
379
00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:40,124
Give it a minute.
Yeah, this isn't coffee.
380
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:41,042
This is an empty cup.
381
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,834
I don't want to lose
my place in line
382
00:16:42,834 --> 00:16:46,630
if babu here decides
he needs to take a whiz.
383
00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:47,756
And we're off.
384
00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:49,591
Here's today's to-do list.
385
00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:52,719
Yikes, a little sticky.
Don't ask.
386
00:16:52,719 --> 00:16:54,471
I never do, sir.
387
00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:56,057
And off to the office.
388
00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,099
Oh...
389
00:16:57,099 --> 00:17:01,020
You seem a little
emotionally shaken.
390
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,564
[WHISPERING]
Get her number.
391
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:06,900
I am so sorry
I ever doubted you.
392
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:09,111
Not at all.
393
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:11,947
[SNIFFLES]
394
00:17:11,947 --> 00:17:13,782
[??????]
395
00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:16,327
[ELECTRIC GUITAR BLARING]
396
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:23,375
Look, my fianc� read you
the riot act yesterday,
397
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:26,628
and I know he's not gonna be
happy when he finds out
398
00:17:26,628 --> 00:17:28,255
you're still--
399
00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:30,049
[PLAYING]
400
00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:36,972
And that is an example
of the kind of noise
401
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:38,640
we don't wanna hear
anymore.
402
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,059
I hope you got that straight,
403
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,644
because I don't wanna
have to come up here--
404
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:44,521
Dude, she's gone.
Oh, no!
405
00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:45,314
I am so screwed right now.
406
00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:48,400
When she gets angry, I mean,
she's like a raving--
407
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,236
Dude, she's back.
408
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,528
--angel.
409
00:17:51,528 --> 00:17:54,531
She's like
a raving angel.
410
00:17:54,531 --> 00:17:56,783
Hey, baby, let's go.
411
00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:00,996
[??????]
412
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:04,500
[SIGHS]
413
00:18:04,666 --> 00:18:07,128
I know wives everywhere
are sick of hearing this
414
00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:10,005
from their husbands,
and it may sound trite,
415
00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:13,509
but thanks for not
pressing charges.
416
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:14,718
No problem.
417
00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:17,763
I didn't think it was gonna take
you so long to clear it up,
418
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:23,269
but I guess you were coming down
from those painkillers, so...
419
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:23,977
Sure.
420
00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:27,481
[LAUGHS]
That's what it was.
421
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:30,234
Well, anyway.
422
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:31,485
Listen, I had a--
423
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:36,365
I had a lot of time to think
while I was in lockup.
424
00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:39,701
You were in the nurses'
break room.
425
00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:42,413
With a vending machine
that only took exact change,
426
00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:45,916
so it might as well
have been prison.
427
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:48,043
Look, they fingerprinted me.
428
00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:50,712
Wash that off, please.
I don't wanna wake up
429
00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:52,214
with ink all over my boobs.
430
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,007
Aye, aye, matey.
431
00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:56,677
Anyway, listen, I was thinking
that at the very least
432
00:18:56,677 --> 00:19:00,681
I should, uh, let you choose
which side of the bed you want.
433
00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:02,516
Oh, well,
I'll take my old side.
434
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:06,353
Better to lose a little sleep
than the other eye.
435
00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:09,105
Hey, I'll tell you what.
436
00:19:09,856 --> 00:19:11,192
I will set the, uh, clock
437
00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:13,819
for the real time
that I have to get up.
438
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,821
Thank you.
439
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:19,032
So I guess no more acting
like Jen and Adam, huh?
440
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:21,577
Well, there is one more thing
of theirs
441
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:24,455
that I would like to try.
442
00:19:26,373 --> 00:19:27,791
Huh?
443
00:19:28,875 --> 00:19:32,171
Welcome toThunderdome.
444
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:35,549
On second thought,
445
00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:37,384
take out the other eye.
446
00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:39,261
[??????]
447
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:48,270
So I guess the silver lining is,
uh, free Jell-O.
448
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,522
Nice.
449
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:53,609
Here's your phone, sir.
450
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:55,652
Ah.
451
00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:57,988
Oh.
452
00:19:58,239 --> 00:20:00,532
They didn't have it
in red?
453
00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:05,412
[SIGHS]
454
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,707
Timmy, come here.
455
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,377
Yes, sir?
456
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,379
Don't forget your bathroom.
457
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:16,298
[??????]
458
00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:22,388
[??????]
459
00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:26,988
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