All language subtitles for Amigos Ricos

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-(HILLBILLY SONG PLAYING)
-♪ One, two, three,
one, two, three

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♪ Yeah, hoo-ooh
Ummm

♪ Oh-eee, aye-ee
Oh-ee, aye-ee

♪ Ah, hoo-ooh

♪ Oh-eee, aye-ee
Oh-ee, aye-ee

♪ I was born
In a big Cadillac

♪ I had friends and money

♪ And I said
I'd never go back

♪ Oh-eee, aye-ee
Oh-ee, aye-ee

♪ If they don't tell you
before you come

♪ You start out walking

♪ And by the time
you learn to cry... ♪

RICHARD:
So the corrugated metal
not only reflects the beauty

of the common,
off-the-shelf material,

but also emphasizes
the invisible line

between the old
and new construction.

Wait. There will be a line?
It's invisible.

Just let him finish.
Oh, sorry.

Then the windows, here,
are large enough
from the deck,

you'll see the ocean
from your master bedroom.

No way. Really?
Oh, God, that's great.
DAVID: Look, honey, it's us.

Going this high will,
of course, require some
special permits from the city.

DAVID: Uh, why?
Well, because the neighbors

could possibly get upset.

Well, I think we can
live with that.

We want it. (CHUCKLING)

We want it.

Hey, you want some coffee?
Sure.

Yeah.
Okay. Okay.

Ow!

♪ Oh-eee, aye-ee
Oh-ee, aye-ee ♪

FRANNY: These shoes cost $95?

I just... I don't understand
why she has to have
these kind of shoes.

Don't know what it is.
Her feet are growing.

Exactly.
That's why we should be
buying her regular $20 crap,

because she's gonna
outgrow them in two weeks.

It's just the opposite.

When their feet are growing
you want the, uh, best
support possible.

How do you know this,
this shoe theory?

It's, uh, just known.

Come on, sweetie,
let's go get your pajamas on.

Go to sleep. Good night.
I know it's early
but good night.

(VIBRATOR BUZZING)

Does this shirt look weird
with these pants?

The sitter's coming.

AARON: Like it's too thick?
Who cares?

It feels bulky.

Why don't you answer me?
It's fine.

Because I could put on
the new striped one.
That tucks in better.

(JANE CHUCKLING)

What?
You're pathetic.

I'm putting on
the new striped one.
Good choice.

♪ Yeah, hoo-ooh
Ah-oh

♪ Yeah, hoo-ooh
Ah-oh ♪

This kid played at my house
all day, and his parents
don't know who I am.

How do you know?
I see them at school
and they smile.

They don't say anything
like "thank you".

That's insane.
JANE: It is.

I fed him two meals,

kissed his boo-boos,
cleaned his pee.

Don't you think his mother
should acknowledge me?

That's just rude.
Yes.

I'd wanna know everything
my kid was doing.

Maybe the nanny didn't tell
the parents that she took
him to your house.

Parents know where
their kids go.
CHRISTINE: Where's yours?

Sitting in front of
Dragon Ball Z where
I left him.

AARON: I think
it's too violent.

You think SpongeBob
is too violent.
I never said it was.

I said it was ugly.
I'm ugly.

You know,
I don't get SpongeBob.
Oh, come on.

FRANNY: Christine.
No, I don't.

What is...
How do you not get it?

Why would I say
I don't if I do?

(SIGHS)

Okay.

Hey, you guys, listen.
Franny and I bought a table
at an ALS fundraiser.

Yeah.
Will you guys come?

No.
No?

It's at the Casa del Mar.
What is ALS?

It's Lou Gehrig's disease.

It's really horrible.

I mean, it's awful.
(LAUGHING) Okay. We'll come.

Oh, hey, my stockbroker's wife
is doing it. It will be
kind of... It will be fun.

Oh! That reminds me,
did you guys find
a place to donate money?

Because I thought
of a couple of ideas.

Yeah, we decided
we're gonna give it
to Tammy's school.

Oh, that's good.
Yeah.

How much?
Don't ask that.

I can, can't I?
No.

Two million.

(CHUCKLES)

That Shabbat shalom
school?
Jane.

(ALL LAUGHING)

The one that makes
you sell challah
bread.

Oh, I love that bread.
Shit.

Give the money to Olivia.
Jane.

You're a maid. You need money.

No, I don't. I'm fine.

Who's...
You're working as a maid?
You're a teacher.

Since when?
Is that, like, hip now?
Cleaning houses?

What would be hip
about working as a maid?
Hip?

I don't know, like the Zen,
so un-hip it's cool.

Can we talk about
something else?

There's nothing wrong
with working as a maid.
Who cares what people think?

Our maids make
really good money.
I don't.

Ours goes through our stuff.
She does not.

I don't know.
Stuff moves around.

Do you go through
people's stuff?

OLIVIA: Like what?
Like their drawers and shit.

No.

Good, because that would
be really fucked up.
(ALL LAUGHING)

Excuse me. I'll be right back.

He still smokes?
He didn't quit.

How can you stand it?
Well, he doesn't
make me smoke.

Does it scare you?
Or disgust you?

Oh!

You know, there's a Tse
sample sale on next week
if anyone wants to go.

Tse what?
Tse cashmere.

OLIVIA: Oh.

Can't afford that.

CHRISTINE: Oh, fast.
They wouldn't let me
smoke out there.

They're so uptight.

Um, anyway, I'd like
to make a toast very much.

To Jane.

You're wonderful
and generous and talented,

and have always
been there for me.
DAVID: Happy birthday.

(CHUCKLING) I don't know what
I'd do without you guys.

I think about what my days
would be like without
you as friends,

and I would just wanna die.

We love you.
Happy birthday, sweetie.

What did you get her?
(CHRISTINE LAUGHS)

This.

DAVID: Ooh!
FRANNY: Wow.

Wow.

CHRISTINE: Good taste, Aaron.
You like it?

He's so gay.

Every time we see them
you say that.

Because it's like
a person's sitting there

with a tree growing
out of his head,
and nobody says anything.

I don't know.
It seems like he loves her.

So tell me what you
don't get about SpongeBob
.

No.
Come on.

I'm giving you
the opportunity.
I'll pass.

(HUFFS)

Well, where else are they
gonna put their money?

I don't know.
Hungry people. Us.

We've got money,

and you know what?
We don't give it
to hungry people.

Not that kind of money.

And, yes,
we do give money away.

We gave away
a lot of money last year.

That's true. But, you know,
they probably do too. So...

Jesus, poor Olivia.
Why?

(SCOFFS) Um...

She's the only one
of our friends not married.

Yeah?
Is a pothead. Is a maid.

She doesn't look unhappy,
so maybe...

(SIGHS) Christine and David
have not had sex
in almost a year.

Wow.

Did you know that
she has never actually
seen his asshole?

What?
It's a fact.

How is that actually possible?
(LAUGHING) I don't know.

I guess if you didn't
really wanna see it,
it could be avoided.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

Oh, God, it is so sad.

Should we give Olivia money?

Oh, no. No, not again.

Well, I feel bad.
She's cleaning houses.

Well, it's her choice.
I mean, she could be
doing something else.

I know, but...

Should we hire her?

To clean our hou...
Are you crazy?

Our house?

God, no.

I bet she'd get really stoned
and become a cleaning maniac.

I bet she's really good.
(CHUCKLING) Yeah.

No, no, no. That's much worse
than giving her money.

No. No way.

(LAUGHING) Sweetheart.

(DIALING)

(RINGING)

MAN: Hello?

Hello?

(ENDS CALL)

(SIGHS)

(MEN SHOUTING IN SPANISH)

I'm kind of sick of modern.

I swear to God, I feel
like as soon as we did it,
everybody else did too.

You have good taste.

Or else I'm incredibly trendy.

I think it should be
very minimalist.

A minimalist family room?
Yeah.

You know, just the
necessities. Beige, gray,
(SIGHS)

maybe a shock of color
somewhere, like an orange
lamp in the corner,

or something like that,
you know?

So all the cleaning supplies
are under the sink
in the kitchen.

Mmm-hmm.

MARTY: Um...

Guess I'm pretty messy.
No. That's okay.

I mean, that's what
I'm here for.

MARTY: Uh...

This is the kitchen.

I don't have a dishwasher.

Um...

So can you come on Mondays?

Um...

Yeah. Mondays are good.

And, uh,
how much do you charge?

Um, well, let's see.

Uh, about $65.

Um...

I was kind of hoping for $50.

I don't usually
charge that little.

Right. Um...

Um, okay.
Really?

Yeah.

All right. Thank you.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(HORN HONKING)

How much farther
up my ass can you get?

(HONKING INCESSANTLY)

(TIRES SQUEALING)

Fuck you!
You're buying fruit!

(TIRES SQUEAL)

Sad, sad, sad.

So this guy is showing me
his disgusting house

which clearly
he's self-conscious about.

Then he has the nerve
to ask me to take less money.

What did you say?
I said okay.

(SIGHS) Why? Olivia.
Because...

Because if this guy is so
pathetic he has to haggle,
I should just do it.

I mean, that guy's
worse off than I am.

Or you are too scared
to stick to your price.

God, I don't understand
how you can clean
somebody else's toilet.

I can barely touch my own.

You don't touch your own.
I know it.

Now, let me ask
you a question.

What's with your hair?
Why? What do you mean?

Well, I mean,

is that goop
or is that just dirty?

No, I guess it's dirty.

It doesn't look good.
If I wash it too much,
it dries it out.

JANE: I don't
wanna talk about it.
I'm gonna get a sample.

Jane?
Hey.

Olivia, this is Maya.
Hi, Maya. How you doing?

Your clothes are everywhere.
Seen them at Barneys.

Yeah, we're doing well.
Hey, congratulations.

Obviously, you had your baby.
Yeah. Yeah.

Jane, Olivia, this is Tal.

OLIVIA: Oh!

Tal?
Mmm-hmm.

OLIVIA: Hi, Tal.
We had the hardest time
agreeing on a name.

What if he turns out short,
Maya?

You know, we actually thought
about that. My husband is,
um, kind of short.

He's young.
You could always change it.
He might not notice.

Okay.
Well, no, we like the name.

It's not "tall". It's Tal.
Oh, it's Tal. (CHUCKLING)

You know what? We have to go.

It was so nice to meet you.

Yeah, congratulations. Really.

(LAUGHING) Oh, my God.
Wow. That was awful.

I can't take you anywhere.
Awful.
Jesus! It was a joke.

What are you so angry
about lately?
I'm not angry.

Oh, my God. Aren't those
the saddest looking plants
you have ever seen?

OLIVIA: You really are.
I wanna know what
you're mad about.

Jesus, that's the fucker
that flipped me off.

(COUGHING) Asshole.

Okay, you're not angry.

You fucked at Chaya Venice?

Mmm-hmm.

We go there all the time.

They have great sushi.
Was it on the sink?

No, it was in the stall
up against the wall.

Does she like this?
She starts it.

What is that? Public places.

I don't know.
She's into getting caught.

By whom? Daddy?

Uh, do some raises. Ten.

I'm fixing you up with Olivia.
No, you're not.

You need someone normal.

Olivia will fuck you in a bed.

Um, I have a girlfriend.
She's married, you idiot.

And she's weird.

You'd be lucky to have Olivia.

She's great.

All right.

Hold.

What does she do?

She used to be a teacher.
I mean, she did until
about a year ago.

And she taught at this
really fancy school
in Santa Monica.

She taught 11th grade.

You would not believe
the cars that
these kids drove.

And she drives up
in her ancient Honda

and they would give
her quarters for food.

They thought it was hilarious.
She couldn't take it anymore.

It's too bad too
because she was
so good with kids.

She just loves them,
and she's so patient
and giving.

How are her tits?
Up.

Really good.
Hmm.

But I'm marrying Richard.
I don't care what you say.

DAVID: He's so wrong for you.

You don't even like
the same things.

Doesn't matter.
We have amazing sex.

You know what?
I don't give a shit
what you do.

I don't think you'd say that.

Don't type that.
I don't give a shit.

But you do.
You just wrecked the car,
I made you so mad.

No, I wrecked the car
because of the lap dance.

These people are
supposed to be in love.
Says who?

Us, at the pitch meeting.
(HAMMERING)

I don't care. I'm mad at her.

I distanced myself.

(HAMMERING CONTINUES)

I can't work like this.
Like what?

You're bullying me.
I'm bullying you?

We're having a discussion.
No, we're not.

You changed your mind
and you're being stubborn.
We write together.

(JACKHAMMER POUNDING)

Why is there so much noise?

Maybe because we're building
a second story.

What?

Not too many people
could wear that color.

You could get away with it.

I don't know.

Try this one on.

Ah.

You can't tell shit
if you don't try it on.

There are no dressing rooms.
That's cool. They don't care.

Yeah. Good idea.

Yeah.
It looks good.

Think I should get it?
Yeah.

Thanks. I never would
have seen it. There's
just so much stuff here.

Pay me back with a coffee?
A coffee?

Have a coffee with me.
Uh, um, I've gotta
get back to work.

How about dinner?

Um...

I'm...

I'm married.

Oh.

Oh, well, you know.
Lucky man.

Um, no...

Oh, hi. How are you today?
Hi. Fine, thanks.

I'm looking for this product.
I think I saw it
in a magazine.

I think they said
it was for lines,
like Resolution D-Contraxol?

Oh, yes, our Resolution.
Oh, yeah, maybe. I think.

They said you were
giving out samples.

Yeah, we are.
Would you like one?
Yeah. Sure.

Well, you use this at night.
Uh-huh.

And you'll see
that the results are amazing.

Wow. Really?
Mmm-hmm.

That's great. Thank you.
You're welcome.

Now, you know,
your oily face could really
do with some Clarifiance.

Hi. Can I help you
with something?
I think so.

I'm looking for this lotion.
I saw it in a magazine.

I can't remember the name.
Resolution?

Maybe. I think so.

Anyway, they said
you were giving out samples.

Oh!

Is that it?

Great. Thank you.

You know what? I was...
Um, could I get one
for my girlfriend?

She had asked...
Not a chance.

Hi.
Hi. You're early.

Yeah, I had to get away
from my stupid husband.

See? This is my girlfriend.
Give her a sample.

Thanks.
You're welcome.

(HUFFS)

Is this actually for me?
Give it to me.

FRANNY: I just think
it's dangerous.

I mean, kids get paralyzed
falling off them.

You put a net around it.
I think we should
just get rid of it.

I think the maid
would take it.

But then her kids
would get paralyzed.

Oh, yeah. Right.
Hmm.

I'm worried about Richard.
Hmm?

He doesn't play with balls.

What do you mean?

Well, like at the park,
he has no interest in them.

Well, you know,
he probably does other things.

He's probably just playing
with the other boys
that don't like balls.

Exactly.

Little gay boys.

Oh.

Would it bother you
if he was gay?

Oh, no, you know,
I just don't want him
to have any pain.

Well, everyone has pain.

Well, then, extra gay pain.

That's not funny.
Oh, come on.

No, it's not. (LAUGHS)
Come on.

(PHONE RINGING)

RECORDING: Hi,
this is Olivia. I'm not home.
Leave me a message.

(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)

Honey, hi. It's Christine.

Listen, I just
recommended you to this
sort of friend of mine,

who's looking for someone
to clean her house.

She's very rich
and very picky,

but I think she'll pay
a lot of money.

So if Melanie Charney calls,
just, that's her. Bye.

(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)

AARON: And all
the thoughts of the day,

are going up, up, up,
and out the top of your head.

And everything
is white and calm,

easy and sleepy.

(KISSES)

I love you.
I love you too.

Here's Ralphy.

(SMOOCHES)

Don't turn off the light.

I really want another kid.
No way.

Why not?
I don't know, because I'm 100.

You are not 100.
And I'm sure we could
get pregnant if we tried.

There's no way
we're gonna have another baby.

You can't just decide that.
(CHUCKLES)

(YOU NEED SOME
SUNSHINE PLAYING)

(DIALING)

Hello? Hello?

Hello?

EDIE: Another hang-up?

♪ Na-na-na-na-na

(SIGHS)

♪ Na-na-na-na-na

♪ Na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

Why do you look different?

Oh, I shaved my thing.

My beard.
Oh, my God.

Yeah, like three weeks ago.

Wow, you shaved your beard
three weeks ago?

Mmm-hmm.

God, I'm so sorry.

For what?
Well, for not noticing.

It's okay. I don't care.

Well, it looks good.
Thanks.

So Franny, who I met
through Jane, my friend Jane,
she designs clothing.

She's real...
They're all kind of weird.

What do you...
What do you keep looking at?

I think that the girl
sitting behind you

is someone I went
to junior high school with.

Don't, don't, don't, don't.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Please don't stare. No.

Why not?
How do I, um...
How do I look?

Compared to what? We just met.

Oh, yeah.

(CHUCKLES)

So, um, are you...
So you're from here?

Yes, I, uh...
I grew up in the Valley.
Uh-huh.

I'm sorry. It's so weird.
She hasn't changed a bit.

Really?
Yeah.

Well, why don't you
go say hi to her?

Are you kidding me?
That girl ruined my life.

What, really? What did she do?

Well, we, uh, made out once
in her father's basement.

And I was in love with her,
you know?

And, uh, we...
She was my girlfriend for,
like, two hours.

And, uh, then she dumped me.

Mmm.

(CHUCKLES)

Yeah, exactly.

(SIGHS)

(LAUGHS)

I'm sorry.

It's wild...
It's wild for me
to see her here.

Um, so do you, uh,
do you work out at all?

No, not really.
Mmm.

(HAMMERING)

WYATT: "We all went on safari

"near the Serengeti gate.

Looks like your dad's home.
"We startled wary...

(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
"Wart hogs..."

You want to do some work?
I'm reading with Max.

We gotta work.

Okay. We'll read more later,
okay, babe?

Maria?
Sorry, Mama's gotta work.

When are we gonna
get our tree?
We got a whole month.

But when are we gonna get it?

Well, we'll get it
before Christmas.

I promise you, buddy,
all right?

Okay?
Whatever.

Ow!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(SIGHS)

Hey, hey, hey. Wait, wait.
No, no, no, I'm paying.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
We had so much to catch up.

Don't let her pay. I'm paying.
I am a shithead!
No, come on.

It is hard enough
having a blind date.

I know.
You're absolutely right.

Hey, um, so can we
go out again? Please?

Listen, I just went ape shit
back there because
that's a girl

who humiliated me
in high school.

Didn't anyone ever just,
you know, uh, wreck your life,

and then you see them
as an adult? It's intense.

Are you stupid?

Kind of.
What do you do again?

Oh, right, right,
you're Franny's trainer.

Uh, what do you do?
Franny said that you, uh,
used to be a teacher.

I'm a maid.

Mmm. Yeah, right.

What, I can't be a maid?
No, you can't.

Not really.
That's funny.

You're really a maid?
Yeah.

Mmm.

In fact, uh, I have a job
right now, so I gotta go.

Um...

Can I come watch?

CHRISTINE: Your sister called.

DAVID: What kind of fish
should we get?
Your father's had a stroke.

Very funny.

I have a problem
with this line. I think
Elliot would believe her.

Why would he believe her?
He saw his father yesterday.

Because it's...

Melanie just
doesn't joke like that.
It's not in her character.

No, I don't agree.

God, how did we even get
this far? It's like we're
writing two different scripts.

Every time we disagree,
you fall apart.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh. What?

(CLEARS THROAT)

You're eating a lot
of shit lately.

What?

I said, you're eating
a lot of shit lately.
So what?

So I can see it on your ass.

I'm just telling you
because, you know,

ahem, I thought you'd want
me to tell if I noticed
something like that.

What made you think
I'd want you to tell me
if my ass was getting fat?

Because I guess
I'd want you to tell me
if I was gaining weight.

Really, you'd want me
to tell you?
Yes, I would.

Hmm. Would you want me
to tell you, for instance,
that you always bad breath?

Would you wanna know that?

I guess.
Well, now you know.

I'm trying to get you
to drink more water,
not because it's healthier.

It's because your breath
smells like a dead man.

Why didn't you just tell me?
I would have got my teeth
cleaned or something.

Because I didn't want
to hurt your feelings.

It wouldn't.

Really?
Well, it's not like
it's my fault, per se.

(CHUCKLING)
Man, I wish I had
that mechanism.

(LAUGHING)
So not only do I have
bad breath always,

but I'm a dick
because I don't
take it personally?

I can't work anymore. I...

I'm out.

(MEN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

MIKE: A fat-free turkey.

She got fat-free pepperoni,
fat-free milk.

Diet this, diet that.

I Can't Believe It's Not Fat.

Jesus. Of course, uh, vodka.

Big bottle of tequila, more...
More vodka.

Some Ben and Jerry's
in the back.

Makes sense now.
Put that back.

See, she has to either
get drunk or really stoned,

to believe that she's
actually eating something.

Do you, uh, smoke it?

What, their pot?

No. I smoke my own.

It wrecks your brain.
(SCOFFS) Okay.

Here, why don't you
clean the inside of that.

That's disgusting.

How come you don't
have a boyfriend?

I don't know.
Ask my last boyfriend.

Okay, I'm not doing a
good job. This is disgusting,
I'm gonna throw up.

Who cleans your fridge? Oh.
Manuella.

You gave me the worst job.
I so did not give you
the worst job.

Um...

What are we doing?
Well, we're dancing.

Okay.

It's fun to dance.
Yeah.

Um...

(CHUCKLES)

Can I kiss you?

You seriously want
to kiss me now?
Mmm-hmm.

Um...

Yes, I do.
(GIGGLES) Okay. Um...

Do you want to put
that down? Okay.

Where's the waiter?

You think he fell off the face
of the fucking earth.

He was nice.

To you maybe, because
he thinks you're cute.

He didn't even notice
I was sitting here.

What are you talking about?
You are so blind.

The waiter's, like,
in love with you.
I'm a guy and I'm with you.

I just want the check.

It's like they were up
your ass every five minutes
to get your order,

then when you need the check,
they go out back

and smoke a cigarette
or something.

Oh, here he is.

I hope everything
was all right.

Can I get you anything else?

Just the check.
No.

Honey, look,
it's one of yours.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Yeah.
Don't you love that?

Oh, she doesn't look
very good in it.

Yeah, but it's yours.
You designed it.

(WOMAN LAUGHS)

How much?
One hundred dollars.

That's not bad.
Hmm-mmm.

Whoa, whoa, hello?

I mean, I helped.

(CHUCKLES)

Yeah, I mean, uh,
don't you think I should
get some of the money?

I mean, not that
it's a thing, but...

(SOFTLY) Um...

I mean...

Cool.

You know, um, you could
make a lot more training.

You make, like, $50 an hour?
Sixty-five.

I'm so out of shape.

So why is he a jerk
for not being upset?

I mean, it sounds
to me like... Just like
he's more confident than you.

He's a jerk
because he's not upset.
Of course he's upset.

Wouldn't you be
if I told you
you had bad breath?

You do tell me
I have bad breath.
And how does it make you feel?

Not great, but it doesn't,
like, rock me to the core,
you know?

I just go brush my teeth.

Well, he told me
I was getting fat.
That's much worse.

Are you?

Aaron, why are you
being such a jerk?

Because you two are just
sitting there deciding
that David's the schmuck.

Well, he is.

Maybe and maybe not.
I'm sorry, Christine,
but maybe it's partly you.

She knows it's partly her.
I do?

You know, I just have
to be more like Franny.

She just shrugs
everything off. Right?

No, she shrugs
because she doesn't
like confrontation.

Yeah, maybe she just
chooses her battles.

Are we going to this
fundraising thing?

No.
Yeah. No. Yeah.

What is it again anyway?

Homeless.
ALS.

Oh, that is so sad.
Oh, right.

And I get to wear the Yohji
jacket I never get to wear.

You have
a Yohji Yamamoto jacket?

Yes, and he is so sexy in it.
Is he?

Maybe if you and David
had more sex,
you'd get along better.

You know, I...

He's my husband.
It doesn't count. Right?

Fuck.

Well, how often
do you guys have sex?

Often.
No, we don't have sex often.

Well, I thought...

You know who has a lot of sex?
Matt and Franny.

Well, I would have
a lot of sex if
I had that much money.

I mean, nothing
to worry about. No stress.

You're crazy.
I'm not. Listen,
they are relaxed.

They never fight.
I've seen them fight.

No, not often.

Well, you think he can't
get lung cancer
because he's rich?

Probably.
(GIGGLING)

You're so bitter.

I cannot believe he smokes.

And she lets him.
Mmm-hmm.

How does she let him?

By accepting it.

Yeah, well, good for her.
Maybe that's why
they don't fight.

That and the money.

(GRUNTING)

Ah, your hair smells so good.

(SIGHS)

Really?
Hmm.

I wasn't sure that

lavender-tea-grass thing
was too strong.

Oh, yes, I liked it.

It was good.
Really?

Yeah.

Oh, gosh. I wonder
how the blind date went.

Oh, yeah.

You know what, I don't...
I don't really see them
hitting it off, you know?

I know.

I just wanted her
to have a date.

Yeah.

MATT: What exactly
is the problem?

FRANNY: I don't know.
She just hasn't met
the right guy.

And until you meet
the right one,
the others are all wrong.

Boy, has she met
some wrong ones.

Especially in her 20s.

My God,
that was painful to watch.

I think she's still hung up
on that married guy, Raymond.

MATT: Who, Mr. Masculine?

She used to squeeze
his whiteheads.

That's gross.
I know.

(BOTH SPIT)

Well, this is sad.

Yeah. He's single.

But there is kid stuff around.

He's really got
a fantastic decorating sense.

What a piggy.

So, what does this guy
do for a living?

I think he's unemployed.

MIKE: Yeah, his house
feels unemployed.

And he has a maid.
That's weird.

Maybe he's depressed
because he doesn't work,

and he feels too bad
to clean up.

Sounds like a real putz.

It makes sense to me.

Hey, let's fuck here.

No.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

I've... Excuse me, I've...

I've seen you in here,
um, a lot.

Yeah, I just work
up the street.

Oh, what, uh...

What do you do?
I, uh, run my own company.

Oh, tell me.

Um, well, it's like an
organic bath products company.
Uh-huh.

Called Luscious.
You're shitting me.
I love that stuff.

Are you talking...
You're talking about the...

It has the chunks
of fruit in it?
You use it?

I love it.
Oh.

Can I take your order?
Yeah.

I'd like some Brie
but on wheat bread, please.
All right.

And you?
Actually, I'm gonna have
the exact same thing.

That sounds great.
Yeah, with salad.

Okay.
You want salad?

Okay.
Yeah. Thank you.

I'm, uh, I'm Aaron,
by the way.

You're kidding? I'm Aaron.

You're not. I'm Aaron.
No, I'm Aaron.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Nice to meet you, Aaron.
And you, Aaron.

Yeah, what do you do?
I'm a clothing designer.

Really?
My wife's a clothing designer.

Oh, my goodness.
What a coincidence.
What do you design?

Uh, socks, actually.
I own Shock Socks.

Oh, my God.

(LAUGHING) No.
You're wearing my socks.

Oh, my goodness.
That is fantastic.

MATT: So it's like a six-week
anatomy course. Yeah.
Uh-huh.

And how much does
something like that cost?

I think it's like $1800.
Oh, my God!

Well, you can't get
a certificate without it.
You know?

Uh-huh.

Well, can you make
$65 an hour right away?

I can't...
It's sort of complicated.

What are you doing?
You all right?
It's a stitch. Breath.

A stitch?
Yeah.

Oh, God.

Well, can I work at the place
that you use to train Franny?

Yeah, maybe you should try
making it to the end first.

You know what? I could
clean and I could train.

Okay, well,
let's keep going, then.

How about that?
Let's make it.
Fuck that. Everything hurts.

(TIRES SCREECH)

JANE: What?

Hey! Hey!

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Are you totally blind?
What are you talking about?

Marcus, hi. I'm Wyatt's mom.

Oh, hi.
What's going on here?

Oh, let's see. Well, you stole
my parking place, obviously.

And you know what?

Your son had a play date
at my house last week.

He did?
He did, yeah.

His nice nanny
brought him over.

Who are you?
Wyatt's mom.

Oh, okay. Hi. Hi.

Hi. He had two meals,
you know, big ones,

broke a mug and he told us
that you let him watch
Desperate Housewives.

Yeah, thought you might
wanna know.

MOM: Buckle up.
And yeah, you're welcome!

Idiot.
MARCUS: What about my gum?

MOM: Not now.

Take your time, sweetheart.

OLIVIA: So it's
a six-week course,

and when it's over...
You have to take a test.

Yeah, but when I'm done,
I get a certificate that
tells me I can work in a gym.

How was the sex?

It was fun.

He doesn't...
He doesn't look at me, though.

Ooh.

Hate sex?
No. Um...

Anyway.
So the course is $1800.

And I'd pay it back
over a period of time.

That's a lot of money.

But I'd make it back.

Why don't you just
go back to teaching?

Teach poor kids.

It's not my calling.

Miss Franny,
I'm going home now.

Hi, Olivia.
Hi, Teresa.

Hey, you know what?
I'm doing what you do now.

Oh.

I'm a housekeeper.
Cleaning houses.
TERESA: Mmm.

Okay, good night.

Bye.

That was so stupid.

I'm just sort of confused
because you're my only friend

who doesn't like to exercise,
and you're gonna be a trainer.

What? I don't understand.
What's the... I mean...

Do accountants
have to love numbers?

Do nannies have
to love children?

Um, yeah.

Franny, if you had to work,
then what would you do?

I feel like I work.
I feel like taking care
of my kids is work.

But you have full-time help.

It's true.

Are you trying
to make me feel bad?
No.

I don't think.

I'm sorry.

(SIGHS)

What about Christine?

I know.

What... Have you...
What are they doing
to that house?

It's sort of sad.

Yeah, I mean,

they should be
in couples therapy,
not expanding their home.

You know,

I would feel a lot better
about giving you the money

if you went to a therapist
and figured out what
you really wanna do.

So is that a "no" on giving me
the money for the training?

No, I'm not saying that.

I mean, I have to talk
to Matt about it anyway.

Do you have to check
with Matt on lending
me money for therapy?

Well...
Franny, you know,

you buy your 2-year-old
daughter $80 shoes
from France,

and you're just...
You're giving me a hard time.

That's... That's Matt.
That's not me.

Ugh. I gotta go.

You're leaving?

You know, you just...
You don't understand
what it's like.

And before Matt,
you would've lent the money.
It's not even his money.

It's your money.
Of course it's his money.

We're married.

(SCOFFS)

So we thought we'd do
something tomorrow afternoon,
if that's okay.

Are you kidding?
You need friends.

Go. Is he married?

I guess so. He's got a ring.

Come here.

Mmm.

(CHUCKLES)

You're my best friend.

Hey, I'm sorry. Mmm.

I don't know
what's wrong with me.

You're just tired.
Yeah, I am.

It's okay.

I don't feel like myself.

(SIGHS)

I think this birthday
was hard for you.

(SCOFFS) Forty-three.
What's the difference?

Yeah, but you're in
your 40s now. It's real.

It's like we're just
waiting to die.

You're serious.

(SIGHS)

That's so depressing.

Hon, your hair, your...

Does it feel greasy?

I don't feel like washing it.

My arms get tired.

AARON: So, uh, do you think
Christine and David
are gonna split up?

(WATER RUNNING)

(WATER SHUTS OFF)

Do you remember that fight
they had at our wedding?

No.

They were yelling
at each other in that
only downstairs bathroom.

Oh, yeah.

She was mad because he made
some crack about her dress.

Do you remember
that weird dress?

It's like they keep
having the same argument.

And they weren't
even married yet.

You think they shouldn't
have gotten married?

I don't know.

Maybe it was right
at the time.

Yeah, but that's not enough
to get married, is it?

"Right at the time."

(SIGHS)

(LIGHTER CLICKS)

(PHONE BEEPS)

(RINGING)

WOMAN: Hello?

Hello? Who is this?

Why do you keep calling?

MARTY: Hey.

I know you.

No, I...
I don't think so.

Oh, look, there's Sammy's mom.

Hi, Sammy's mom.
Hi.

We're just bringing
you some cookies.

We heard you got a new kitten.
Yeah.

Max would love to come
over and see it soon,
wouldn't you, babe?

Yeah.
Yeah. Want a cookie?

No, thanks.

Uh, Marla,
sorry about the construction.

I know it's been really noisy.

See ya.
(DOG BARKS)

DAVID: You care too much
what people think.

But we're friends. It's...

We've had so many play dates
together. It was crazy.

So she's in a bad mood.
Who cares?

I care.

Just because you can remove
yourself enough to feel
superior to everyone,

doesn't mean I can.

What the hell is that?

It's what you do
so you're never
affected by people.

(SCOFFS)

Wow.

(BEEPS)

(BEEPS)

(CASH REGISTER BEEPING)

MAN: I can take
the next customer.

No, no, no. Wait. Excuse me.

I was next.
No, you weren't.

But you can't do that. Hey.

I was waiting in line.
It's not right.

Let me help them,
then I'll help you.

Did you see that?
Were they in front of me?

No. This is crazy.
I've been waiting in line.

How important could
being in front of me be?

Calm down, all right?
Really. What kind
of person are you?

Do you feel like you got away
with something? Is this
really worth it to you?

Sorry, could you step
over there, wait your turn?

Seriously.
Is there a manager here?

Is there a manager here?
MAN: I'm the manager.

How can I help you?
Is everything all right?

Everything's not all right.
I'm angry, because these two
people cut in front of me,

and everyone is letting them
get away with it.

Them. There.
Those two people with
their stupid fucking faces.

I'm sorry. I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave
the store, ma'am.

Me, you kick out,
and to them you do nothing?

Let's go, ma'am. I'm sorry.

Well, just let me
buy what I need.

I don't think
that's going to happen.

Well, then take it all, then!

(CROWD GASPS)

(JANE WHIMPERS)

On top of it,
I don't get the part

where the guy
tells the other guy
not to come to the house.

No, no. No, I don't think
you're supposed to get it.

It's... It's like...
It's deliberately confusing.

Really? You sure?

I... I don't know
what I'm saying.
(BOTH LAUGH)

Um, are you hungry?

Yeah, I'm starving. Let's...
Should we go and find
somewhere to eat?

I actually...
Just earlier today I went
to a farmers' market.

I live right up the street.
So, I mean,

I could make us something.
Really?

Oh, listen,
I don't want to impose.
No. Please, I love to cook.

I would...
It would be my pleasure.

AARON: You've got
such a great place.

Your paintings and stuff.
Did your wife decorate
or did you?

You know, my wife
pretends to be interested
in that stuff, but she's not.

(CHUCKLES)

I ended up doing
the whole thing
myself pretty much.

My wife's into her designing,
but I did the house.

(CHUCKLES)

Uh, I think we're ready.
Do you mind grabbing that?

No.
Thank you.

OTHER AARON: so how long
have you guys been married?

Eight and a half years.

Really?
Yeah.

Us too.

No.
Yeah.

You have kids?

Uh, no. No. You guys?

Yeah. We have a son.

Was that a, um...
Like a conscious decision?

Uh, we... We tried actually,
for years.

But at this point,
it looks like, uh,
it's not gonna work out.

Sorry.
Yeah.

It's actually been a huge
strain on our relationship.

How so?

Oh, you know, just not being
able to get pregnant and...

You know.

I'm sorry, this is weird.

Maybe I... I mean,
maybe I'm being too intimate.

No, no. It's okay. It's funny,
I just feel... I feel really
comfortable with you, so...

Me too. I'm glad.
(CHUCKLES)

Usually, when I try
to become friends with a guy,
he thinks I'm hitting on him.

I mean, just because you care
about what you wear

doesn't mean to say
you're gay, right?
Exactly.

I love your shirt, by the way.

CHRISTINE: Her hair alone
should have been a sign.

You think she just
stopped bathing?

No, just shampooing.
Ha!

Maybe she's upset
because her husband's gay.

(CHUCKLES)

God, why do you always
say that? He's not gay.
Oh, come on.

But what else could he be?

Well, he's not.
He's just Aaron.

Hi. I can't believe
I had my phone off.

I was at the movies
and forgot to turn it back on.

She's not out yet.
Is she okay?

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, you know,
she always did
want a nose job.

It's not funny.

Hi.
How bad is her face?

My God.
She broke her nose.

Was she in a lot of pain?

Actually,
she couldn't stop laughing.

When she was conscious.
(CHUCKLES)

What's even weirder
is that she hates Old Navy.

I mean...
I love Old Navy.

That's good.

So... So where were you?

I was at the movies
with a friend of mine.

Which friend?
New friend. This guy I met.

Mmm.

(SIGHS)

So, Olivia, are you gonna
talk to me or what?

You know...

Look, it was
a really stupid idea.
Let's just forget it.

No, I won't.
I can't believe
you won't talk to me

because I asked you
two questions.

It wasn't just about
two questions, Franny.
It was your tone.

What happened, huh?
She...

She wants to be
a personal trainer.

Oh, you know what?
Fuck all of you guys,
all right?

Look, I'm sorry I don't have
my entire life figured out.

Olivia, we love you.

We're the ones who love you.

Mmm.

It's not like we have
all our lives figured out.

Oh, that is such bullshit.

You chose to quit your job.

That job was intolerable.

That's still you.

WOMAN (OVER P.A.):
Wheelchair to Admitting.

Wheelchair to Admitting.

Well, I hope Jane will be okay
for the benefit thing.

Shit. What am I gonna wear?

My God.
OLIVIA: I don't understand...

I don't understand
these fundraisers.

I mean,
they waste all this
money on these parties.

Why don't they just give
the money to the scientists
or to the sick people?

But you know what? They don't.

They throw a party
so rich people like me

can spend $10,000 on a table

and then they give it
to the sick people.

Okay? That's how it's done.

(DIALING)

(RINGING)
(SIGHS)

RAYMOND: Hello?
Hi. It's Olivia.

You cannot call me here.

Come on. You know, um,
I really... I really,
really need to see you.

That's not possible.

Yeah, but don't you
miss me at all?

I have to hang up.
Oh, come on. Just answer me.

I gotta go. I'll see you.
(LINE CLICKS)

(DIALING)

EDIE: Hello?

Hi. This is Olivia.

Olivia?

My husband's one-night stand?

Yeah.

I guess, if you consider
two months a one-night stand.

Could you please, um,
put him on the phone?

Olivia, why don't you go find
a husband of your own.

(LINE CLICKS)
(SIGHS)

I would if I fucking could,
Edie!

God!

Fuck off!

Hey, what about this one,
honey?

That one, Christine,
is scrawny and dead.

I'm not spending
$100 on that.

They're all $100.
It's disgusting.

Why? You'd spend it
on something else,
why not a Christmas tree?

Because we throw them away.
That's crazy.

No, $100 on a Christmas tree,
that's what's crazy.

What's that?

Nothing. I'm just trying to be
more like Franny. Not annoyed.

Good. So let's not get one.

Fine.

But I want one.

All right.
Sorry, honey.

That one's more money.
Fuck it.

See, honey,
there are a lot of things
that are wrong and right.

As you get older,
you try to figure out
which ones are which.

And some are big and obvious,

like don't kill anybody
or hurt anybody on purpose.

And some are trickier.

And sometimes you do
the wrong thing

before you know
you're doing the wrong thing.

Here, want some?
These are cute.

Like what?

Oh, I don't know.

Um, okay, say you're taking
a test, and you don't
know the answer.

So you look at the guy's paper
sitting next to you,
and you copy his answer.

That's bad, right?
Right. You should not do that.

But while you're doing it,
you're thinking to yourself,

"Well, this doesn't
hurt anybody, what
difference does it make?"

Well, it does make
a difference because
those little things add up.

So, Wyatt,
what you should understand...

There are a lot of injustices,
a lot of things aren't fair.

And when people make it worse
by doing the wrong things,

like taking
your parking space,

or cutting in front of you
in line at a store,

and then they're just
making the world
an uglier place.

I figured out why Christine
always thinks Aaron is gay.

It's because she wants
someone else to have as
bad a marriage as she does.

And then she just gets
mad because she thinks
Jane's in denial.

You know, I have no idea
what you just said.

Don't you think
we have enough?

Oh, a couple more.

Well, they won't know
what hit them.

Yeah, well,
isn't that the point?

Hey, lookit.

Lookit.
Hey, stop...
Don't go through her stuff.

Well, she leaves
it right here.
(BUZZING)

Well, it's her house.
Where else is she
supposed to put it?

(CHUCKLES) I don't know.
Hidden somewhere. Isn't she
scared you're gonna find it?

I didn't. You did.

Did you clean those shelves?

Yeah.

Um...

I got you a Christmas present.

Oh.

Hey.

Hmm.

(VACUUM HUMMING)

You... You missed
a spot over there.

Get it.

Back here.

Yeah, back here.

Faster. Faster.

Okay, turn it off.
What?

Put the vacuum down.
You're done with that now.

Um, dust... Dust...
Dust the trellis.

And don't... Don't miss
any spots. It's delicate.
It's very delicate.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yes.
Yes, what?

Yes, Mr. Mike.

Yeah. Get the lower bits.

And don't be sloppy.
They're delicate...
All right, you know what?

I thought this maid's thing
was about sex.

Uh, It will be.
When?

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

I'll be right back.

Well, what the fuck
did you think?

That somehow we could all
just see through it?

Excuse me.
You guys have to stop, okay?
You have to stop working.

Guys, you have to stop, okay?
You have...

Everybody,
the job's over, all right?
No more work. Please.

Go home. You guys can go.
Does anybody speak English?

Anyone? No work. You can
all go home. You understand?

No work?
No work. Exactly. No work.

You can all go home,
okay? Adios.
MAN: Go home?

DAVID: Hey, hey. Hey, what...
What the hell are you doing?

We have completely
ruined our street.
Do you know what we've done?

Guys, go back to work, please.

Yes. (SPEAKING SPANISH)
No. No, you have to stop.
Please.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)
No, David. Listen. I just
came from Marla's house.

We've completely
ruined her view
and everybody else's.

I mean, our house is
so fucking huge no one
can see the sky anymore.

Are you serious?
You didn't know? Right.

Know what? That we were
doing something really,
really gross?

No, I didn't.
What planet are you on?

Everybody in the neighborhood
is doing this.

Marla's trying to make you
feel guilty. You're the one
that wanted the view.

How the fuck else
would you see the ocean
from the bedroom?

(BEEPS)

Hi, Christine.
This is Melanie Charney.

You know that maid
you recommended?

I'm sure this isn't the case,
but I just wanted to know
how well you know her,

because, I don't know,
this is silly,

but I'm missing
a $75 jar of face cream.

And I just can't imagine
where it went.

I mean, what kind of person
would steal someone's
face cream?

Will you give me a call
when you can?
(SIGHS)

We're more than
halfway through.
We're not stopping now.

You don't care about others.
You knew.

You just didn't want
to pay attention.

I didn't know!
You notice what you want.

Ow! Shit!

I'm going out for a while.

"You all right, honey?
Did you burn yourself?"

What are you talking about?

Ah, nothing. I just burned
the fuck out of my hand,

and I politely asked myself
if I was all right.

It's something you seem
to be incapable of doing.

What?
I just burned my hand.

Did you notice?
I don't... I don't know.
Yes, I guess so.

Does it ever occur to you
to say, "Are you all right?"

You are all right.
But does it ever
occur to you to ask?

If you're all right,
which you clearly are,

then what the fuck
is the difference?

If you want me to know
you're all right,
why don't you just tell me?

Oh.

Okay. So say I scrape
the fuck out of my arm.

And I yell "ow",

and you don't say anything.

I should say, "Don't worry,
honey, I'm all right."

Yes. What's wrong with that?

Pssh...

(DOOR CLOSES)

So I'll, uh, speak to
you soon. I had a good time.

Oh.

I thought we were gonna go
to dinner or something.

I can't. I can't.
I wish I could.

I already have a plan
for dinner. I'm sorry.
No.

Thanks for my present.

We, uh...
We almost forgot.

Ah...

My cut.

(BILLS RUSTLING)

You really want this money?

Well, I helped.

You're a fuck.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(ENGINE STARTS)

(SIGHS)

You just will. People do.

But how? I can't even imagine.

Does one of us move out?

Him or me?
Him.

(SOBBING) I can't believe
I'm talking about this.

I'm sorry, Aaron,
you can have your wife back.

I just... I should go anyway.

(WATER RUNNING)

Just take your time.

Hi, um, my name is Olivia,

and I am the lady
that cleans your house.

And I'm calling to say

that I'm not going to be able
to come to work anymore.

Actually, I got another job.

I'm... So I'm very sorry.

(BEEPS)

(DIALING)

RECORDING: Hey, it's Marty.
Leave a message
after the beep.

All right.

Hi, this is Olivia.
I'm the lady that
cleans your house,

and I'm calling to say
that I'm not gonna
be able to...

Hey.

Oh, hi. You're there.

Yeah.
I'm calling to tell you

that, um, I'm not gonna
be able to, uh, do it anymore.

Well, how come?

Uh, bec... Well...

Because I just...

Well, actually, I got a job.
What is it?

Um...

In cosmetics.

Huh.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, what do you do?

Uh...

I am presently not employed
at the moment.

Well, what did you do?

A little bit of everything.
A lot of nothing.

(YOU NEED SOME
SUNSHINE PLAYING)

♪ Na-na-na-na-na

Uh, do you wanna
go out sometime?

Sure.

Good.

♪ Na-na-na-na-na ♪

Pretty good, huh?
That's very nice.

Mmm.
(SIGHS)

Very pretty.
God.

Is this too dressy
for homeless people?

ALS, ALS.

OLIVIA: Why do I keep
forgetting that?

Oh, wow, this is soft.

When did you start working
with this fabric?

It gets little holes
in it, though.
Really?

I'm kind of afraid to move.

JANE: Uh, it looks cuter
when it gets little holes.

Jesus, not when you're
paying 800 bucks for it.

Well, you're not
paying for it.

I didn't mean
anything by that.
It's okay.

I know it's overpriced,
but it has to be.

I'm paying for mine.
Shut up.

I will.
Just shut up.

Why shouldn't I?
Because it's a gift.

Thank you.
You're welcome.

All right.
OLIVIA: Thank you.

I don't know about that.

I know.
This?

JANE: Take it off.

Take it off, take it off.

Oh, thank you so much.
I... It's just a little runny.

Sorry.
WAITER: I'll make it again.

You should not apologize.
He should be apologizing.

You should've ordered them
over-medium, honey.

No, then they come back dry.

Always. Especially here.

Oh, we've never
been here actually.

Who picked it?
I did.

I really like it,
I really like it.

So do I. There's such...
So, Gretchen, what do you do?

Oh, um, we run
the company together.
Yeah, yeah.

Aaron's the artist,
and I'm pretty much
the bookkeeper.

No.
I always give socks
as presents.

OTHER AARON: Really?
I have for years.

So did we, but you can
only give your wares
away for so long

and then you actually
have to buy something.

Didn't I ask for coffee
about an hour ago? Excuse me.

Could I have some more co...
Fell off the face
of the fucking earth.

What do you have to do...
They only have one job to do,
and they can't do that right.

Jane. Please.
What? What?

Will you not have
one of your fits.

I mean, we're having
a really lovely time. Okay?

He's gay.

He's not gay.

Oh, okay.
You just met his wife.

Who has a serious
bug up her ass

and has a reason.
She does.

What does she have
to complain about?

Do you know how much
her clothes cost?
They're hideously overpriced.

Sweetheart, you buy them.
Oh, they're gorgeous.

Who cares if you don't get
another cup of coffee?

Was it worth making us look
like crazy people

in front of our new friends?

Just tell me.

What horrible injustice
was done to you that
you have to act this way?

What is it that
you don't have,

that you have to walk straight
into a plate-glass window?

Or that you can't get up
the incentive to wash
your fucking hair.

I wash my hair.
Yeah, when?

Have you seen it recently?

And just tell me,
are you intending to go to
the benefit looking like that?

Well, what's the point?
It gets dirty and you have
to wash it all over again.

That's what civilized
people do. They get up
and they wash their hair.

And when it gets dirty,
they wash it again.

Well, I don't want to.
Jesus. Is this your
idea of rebelling

against the way things are?
I'm not rebelling
against anybody.

Well, what are you doing?
I'm just tired.

Of what?

I just guess I feel like
there's no more wondering
what it's gonna be like.

Like what's gonna be like?

My fabulous life.

You don't like your life?

No, I do. I like my life.

Good.

God, I hate black tie.

You know, Olivia's
bringing some guy again.

We're buying some guy
a $1000 dinner?

I know. At first,
I was kind of annoyed.

But then I just feel so bad
that I introduced her to Mike.

I mean...

I had no idea
he'd be such a dick.

And then she knew
David wasn't coming,

and there's an extra seat,
so you know.

Still have to talk to him.

FRANNY: Well, just sit at
the other side of the table.

It's for a good cause.

MATT: What? ALS or Olivia?

Wow, you look amazing.

Thank you.

FRANNY: Maybe this guy
will be the right one.

It only takes one.

Do I have a smudge?

No.

It's just, I think
you might be a little casual.

Do you have a tie?

I... Oh...

MATT: So, what's he like?

FRANNY:
He sounded kind of nice.

More like her
than her other boyfriends.

MARTY:
Isn't it weird how they throw
these fancy parties for money?

I mean,
why don't they give the money
to the sick people directly?

It seems like
such a waste, right?

Anyway...

You know, I don't think
the two of you have
much in common.

I know. I sometimes
wonder if we met now

if we'd be friends.

Not likely.

Probably not.

(BOTH LAUGH)

That's good.

That's so true.
Yeah.

That is so true.

You're funny.

CHRISTINE: Max?
Yes?

Do you like these shoes?

Or are they too clunky?

What's "clunky" mean?
It means, you know, heavy.

Not delicate. Like chunky.

(LAUGHING)

You're not gonna give me
any help, are you?

Good boy.

JANE: When we met, I had like
400 different kinds, remember?

Yeah, I do.

I was obsessed with shampoo.
Uh-huh.

I thought if I could
find the right one,

my hair would be
the hair I always wanted.

Like, every time I washed
it was a new opportunity.

A new chance to be pretty.

Just right.

Then I married you,

and I found out they all
have the same shit in them.

Hmm.

(WATER RUNNING)

OLIVIA: You guys,

I love this stuff.

This is amazing.

Lookit,
this is expensive stuff.

Oh, my God,
would you smell that candle.

(SNIFFS) Vomit.
What?

Here.
Oh, please. You serious?

Yeah.
You know what?

Give her the whole thing.

Thank you. Oh, my God.

Um, uh, listen,
I'm keeping mine.

(CHUCKLING)

JANE: It's what you put
in this bag anyway.

If you want to,
you could just donate
that directly to ALS.

Oh, fuck you.

(ALL LAUGH)

How is Max?
He's okay.

He's gonna go to a shrink.
I think it'll help him.

FRANNY: Yeah, that's...
That's good.
In case you're wondering,

my husband and I just split.
I know, Olivia
told me everything.

Oh.
Oh.

Sorry. I'm divorced too.

It's uh...

It's really hard at first.

Marty has a daughter.

And I actually saw
a picture of her.
She's so cute.

She's 10. She's beautiful.
AARON: Really?

What's her name?
Ivy.

Ivy. I love that name.

Yeah.
MATT: So, Marty, what do
you... What do you do?

I mean, for a living?

I dabble in some stuff,

and, uh...

Opportunities, investments.

I get stuff done.
Oh.

There's so much stuff
in this auction.
Yeah, there are.

Reese Witherspoon
will knit me a sweater.

MATT: Sweetheart,
look at this.
So weird.

Tandem bike.
We could get that
and ride that.

How long would that take?

Does anyone know
what a Donzi boat is?

I don't.
Oh, my God.

Who would pay
to walk on Nip/Tuck?

Oh, God, I would.

I'd be there in a shot.

That surprises me.

Why?
(CHUCKLES)

Is this pretty fucking small
for 1000 bucks.

Jane, please.
(CHRISTINE LAUGHS)

Before we start eating
our really small food,

I wanna make a toast,

to the fact that, you know,
we don't have ALS,

or anything horrible.

Yet.
Jesus, Matt.

No, no, no, it's true.

This is when it starts.
This is the age.

No shit, man. I just found out
I have 15 percent bone loss.

What does that mean?
What is bone loss?

It's absolutely normal.

It's like kind of before
osteoporosis sets in.

WOMAN (OVER SPEAKER): Welcome
and thank you all for being

part of this
very important evening.

Project ALS is driving
scientific research forward.

And tonight, we are paying
tribute to the individuals...

(VOICE FADES OUT)

You were the prettiest
one there.

AARON: He was
actually really nice.

And did you see his jacket?
It was...

It was really quite beautiful.

Whose?
Olivia's boyfriend.

The fabric,
it was quite gorgeous.

Oh, I don't think so.

And I know fabric.

No, no.
I felt it on the way out.

It was, uh, cashmere.
Huh.

Pretty expensive.

He does seem nice, you know?

And she looked sort of happy.

And the girls just looked
great in your clothes.

You were the prettiest
one there.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Hi.
Hi.

Did he go to sleep okay?

Yeah, it was fine.
Good.

Thanks. Good night.

Good night.

Uh, I know they're a really
depressed group of people.

No. That's probably why I was
so comfortable around them.

Really? You liked them?

Yeah.

I'm sorry about Matt, though.

God, he asked all those
questions about,
you know, your work.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Um...

I don't usually, uh,
tell people this, um...

unless I've known them
for a long time, but...
(CLEARS THROAT)

Uh, I don't work.

(CHUCKLES)
Yeah. I don't blame you.

I mean, if I could figure
out a way not to do it,
I wouldn't either.

I mean, right?

No, um, I mean,

l'm really rich.

(CHUCKLES)

Yeah, you wish.

No, I mean it.

My family,
my father actually, um,

was incredibly wealthy,
and I inherited all
his money. And, uh...

(CLEARS THROAT)

I don't need to work.

So I don't.

Well, that's...
I mean, that's great.

Good for you.

I just can't take the in-laws
anymore, Richard.

They're wearing down
my nerves.

Well, what do you think
it's like for me?

Your sister
with those spaghetti dishes.

I thought you liked
the way my sister cooked.

She...

Ow! Ow.

TERESA:
You okay, Miss Christine?

So I was thinking, like,
a nice armoire over there.

MARTY: Oh, yeah.
You know?

I like those.

And, uh,
maybe some new curtains.

I always...
I always wanted to get this,

but I just don't know
where to go.
Oh, I know where to go.

Really?
Yeah.

So you'll help me?
Oh, yeah.

That would be great.
Yeah. No, there's...

Hey, can I, um...
Can I ask you something?

Uh-oh.

Uh...

You know,
remember when we first met?

And, um, you bargained
down my price?

Yeah?

Why would you do that?

I mean, when you have
a lot of money.

I'm sorry.

That's...

I just...

I, um...
I guess I have some issues.

You do?

I... You know,
people sort of problems. Um...

I have them.

That's okay.

I got problems.

(CIRCLE IN THE SAND PLAYING)

♪ Yeah

♪ Oh, oh

♪ Oh, the sun is going down

♪ I'll go back to my cave

♪ I got no one to leave

♪ No word to say

♪ I like the music

♪ In my head

♪ I think I'll go away

♪ To her instead

♪ Yeah

♪ I draw a circle in the sand

♪ Draw a circle in the sand

♪ Draw a circle in the...
Yeah

♪ Saw a sweet devil
He lights my way

♪ Yeah

♪ It's time to go home

♪ Rise
Like an animal bloom

♪ Pigs over Jerusalem

♪ I can't fall too soon

♪ When the angels
Pick me up

♪ He called my name

♪ She sweets charity

♪ But in pieces and power
And money and fame

♪ Well, I draw a circle
In the sand

♪ I draw a circle in the sand

♪ I draw a circle in the...
Yeah, yeah

♪ Saw a sweet devil
To light my way

♪ Ba-ba

♪ Oh, and I saw a sweet devil
To light my way

♪ Yeah, yeah

♪ Saw a sweet devil
To light my way

♪ Yeah

♪ Saw a sweet devil

♪ It's time to move on

♪ Saw a sweet devil

♪ To dream the dreams
Of the hungry

♪ Saw a sweet devil

♪ Cast the spells
Of the homeless

♪ Saw a sweet devil

♪ Barefoot and poor

♪ Saw a sweet devil

♪ Where nobody bothers you

♪ Saw a sweet devil

♪ You're anybody's friend

♪ Saw a sweet devil

♪ Drawing circles in the sand

♪ Saw a sweet devil

♪ Everybody walks in

♪ Saw a sweet devil

♪ Yeah

♪ Saw a sweet devil

♪ Yeah

♪ Saw a sweet devil

♪ Yeah

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ Saw a sweet devil

♪ Saw a sweet devil
To light my way

♪ Saw a sweet devil

♪ Draw a circle in the sand

♪ Draw a circle,
Circle, circle

♪ Draw a circle in the sand

♪ Yeah ♪