All language subtitles for Monk s05e10 Mr. Monk and the Leper.eng

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Your liquor license
is expired.

It's probably all right.

My name is Adrian Monk.
I'm meeting someone.

Mr. Monk?

Thank you for coming.

Sit down.

I know your work.

I'm a big fan.

There's, uh,
more light over there.

I prefer the dark.

You obviously got my note.

And the money.

$500 to meet you alone,
ten minutes.

It's very generous.

There's more
where that came from.

I have a job to offer you,
Mr. Monk.

It will take you
one night.

Not even one night.

Two hours.

I'm willing to pay you $20,000
for your trouble.

My name is Derek Bronson.

Bronson?

Bronson Technologies.

I thought he--

- You--
- You thought I was dead.

Most days, I wish I was.

I was ballooning solo
up the coast.

I'd done it
a thousand times.

That day,
seven years ago,

the trade wind shifted.

Everybody assumed
I was lost at sea.

Actually, I landed
on a small island

west of Guam.

And you stayed there
for seven years?

I could've come
back years ago.

But...

I got sick.

Would you like to hear
about the job?

Yes, of course.

But first,
I have a couple of questions.

Sick is a funny word.

Could mean anything
from a mild headache to--

When I say sick,

I mean sick.

Mr. Monk...

I am a leper.

There you are.
I was getting worried about you.

Just get in. Get in.
Start the car!

Well, what happened?
Tell you later.

Let's get out of here.

What are you doing?
Unlock the door!

- It's a new car.
- Natalie. Please!

It must be this button.
I don't know.

Forget it!
Oh, wait.

Mr. Monk,
where are you going?

I'll meet you
back at the house.

Wait, Mr. Monk.

I got it, I got it,
I got it.

Mr. Monk, I got it.

I got it!

Any more soap?

That's it.

No, I mean is there any more
soap in San Francisco?

Mr. Monk, you've been
scrubbing your hand for nine hours.

I'm surprised you have
any skin left.

It's not coming out.

I can still feel it.
I think it's spreading.

What are you doing?

Is that kerosene?

- Light me.
- What?

For the love of God,
light me!

Okay, Mr. Monk,
I'm not gonna light your hand on fire.

Fine.

You know what?
Get out--

You are overreacting,
all right?

All you did was shake
a man's hand.

You're right.

You know what?

I'm glad it happened.

The worst possible thing

that could ever happen to me
has happened.

I shook hands...

with a leper.

And I survived.

Exactly.

Worst moment of my life

is behind me now.

I'm free.

Wait.

Okay, now I'm free.

Um, actually...

Mr. Monk, it's not
completely over.

Uh, don't be mad.

But I talked
to Mr. Bronson.

You did what?
What?!

He called here this morning.

The leper?!
He called me?

On what phone?
On this--

- On this phone?
- Yes.

Mr. Monk, you can't catch
anything over the phone.

And now, all of the sudden,
you're an expert on lepers?

You know,
he's a nice man, all right?

He's in pain.
He was crying his eyes out.

And-- okay,
listen to me.

He upped his offer.

He said he would pay you
$25,000.

All you have to do
is meet him again.

Natalie, listen.

Let me explain
something to you.

No!

That's it?
That's your argument?

Okay, let's go through it.

A, whatever he's asking us
to do is probably illegal.

B through Z,

- the man is a leper!
- You know what?

I don't know anything
about leprosy, and neither do you.

So I called a doctor.

He's a specialist.

He said we could come in
and talk with him.

Let's just see
what he recommends, okay?

I mean, it can't hurt to listen, right?

$25,000.

You okay?

Are you holding your breath?

Is that Randy?

Oh, my God.

That is so funny.

Not funny
in a "Ha, ha" way,

but funny in an "Oh, boy, this'll really
embarrass him" way.

Miss Teeger?

Sorry to keep you waiting.
I'm--

I'm Dr. Polanski.

- Hi.
- Hi.

So-- so nice to meet you.

This is my boss.
This is Adrian Monk.

Thank you for seeing us.
It won't take much of your time.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

- Oh, Doctor. Can I ask you one thing?
- Certainly.

Right over here.

- Go ahead.
- Is that Randy Disher?

Yeah, Randy was one
of my first patients.

Do you know him?

Uh, I know Randy Disher.

I don't know that kid.

Well, you know,
teen years.

I don't know how
any of us survived it.

We can talk over here.
Come on.

You're not gonna catch
anything in here.

Promise.

Come on.

Now.

What can I do for you?

Could you explain to my friend
that leprosy is a serious condition?

It's very contagious.

Well, actually,
that's a common misconception.

- See?
- For one thing,

it's not called leprosy anymore.

It's called Hansen's disease.

It's quite rare.
Most people are naturally immune to it.

And if you do happen
to contract it,

it's easily treatable
with an antibiotic

called halazzen.

See, I've been talking to this man.
He wants to hire us.

But he's allergic to halazzen.

Yes, that does happen.

Is his condition full-blown?

Oh, yes.

Ye-- yes, yes.

Yes, full-blown.

Fullll...

- blown!
- Sir?

Full-blown.

I don't think
you have to worry.

As I said,
it's not very contagious.

I've been practicing for 15 years.

I've only seen one case
first-hand.

I can't do it.
I just-- I-- I can't do it.

Well, how about this?

If you do contract
the disease...

I'll treat you for free.

The hell are you talking about?
How 'bout this?

We never call the guy back.
We don't see him again.

I avoid him
like the plague.

Yeah, you know what?

- Exactly like the plague.
- You know what?

Could I just talk to you for a second?

- Just excuse us.
- Please.

Mr. Monk.

- Did you hear what he just said?
- No.

He said it's almost
impossible to catch.

Yeah.

In that sentence,
for me,

the word "almost" is really
the most interesting word.

Okay, Mr. Bronson has an affliction.

He needs our compassion
and understanding.

You know what? Let me let you in
on a little secret, Mr. Monk.

You're no picnic, either.

A lot of people would rather
not deal with you, but they do.

They reach out to you.

And Mr. Bronson is offering us
a lot of money to do the same thing.

And I've been talking to him. You
wouldn't even have to shake his hand.

Good.

Good.
Because I would rather die...

than have to shake
his hand again.

You don't even have
to look at him.

All you have to do
is go back to that bar

and sit and listen
to what he has to say.

You just sit there
and listen.

Stop it.
Stop.

Thank you for coming,
Mr. Monk.

I was afraid you wouldn't want
to see me again.

Why would you think that?

My assistant is over there.

I know she'd like
to meet you.

I'm sorry.

I can't bear to have
a woman see me.

Not like this.

I'm hideous.

No.

I wouldn't say...
hideous, exactly.

Believe it or not,

women used to find me
quite attractive.

I never went home alone.

After I married Mandy,

I resisted those kind
of temptations.

At least, I usually
resisted them.

Gah! Oh, God.

- Have I offended you?
- No.

No, sorry.
You just leaned into the light.

Sorry.

I had an affair.

That was my first mistake.

She wrote me some letters,
which I kept.

That was mistake number two.

In a week, there'll be
a probate hearing.

I'll be officially
declared dead.

The vultures are gonna go
through my office,

reading every file,
opening every drawer.

They'll find the letters.

The letters themselves
don't mean anything to me.

But they would destroy
my wife.

Mr. Monk,
I want to hire you

to break into my home,

find the letters,
and bring them back.

That's the job?

It's still my house.

So you wouldn't be
breaking any law.

Why don't you just
do it yourself?

I tried.

I--

I just couldn't do it.

That house...

that life,
everything I've lost.

It's just...

too painful.

I've drawn you a map.

Everything you need--
the layout,

the security codes.

I just have one question.

Why me?

I'm not a thief.

Exactly.

You're an honorable man.

You won't turn around
and try to blackmail me.

Mr. Monk,
I am at your mercy.

I'm reaching out to you.

That's okay.
I get it.

You don't have
to really...reach.

I get it.

Will you help me?

So what happened?

I took the job.

Be careful.

I could use some help.

I am helping.
I just told you to be careful.

Wish we had more time.

No, no, no.
It has to be tonight.

The leper said his wife
goes into town

every Friday
to visit her mother.

Mr. Monk, please stop
calling him "the leper."

He has a name.

Believe me, he's got
other things to worry about.

Car!
Car!

Get down!

Okay.
Now.

Hurry.
What are you waiting for?

Go!

- Okay, you're next.
- No.

It's, uh--
it's wobbly.

Somebody has to hold it.

Mr. Monk, I can't come back.
I'm already over.

Well, it's too wobbly.

Look, it's all wobbly.

I can't climb this.
Why is it so wobbly?

- How did you do that?
- I opened the gate.

Good thinking.
Okay, hold the ladder.

No, Mr. Monk,
the gate is open.

Natalie, look.

These are the leper's instructions.

I promised him I would
follow them to a tee.

We nodded on it.

Well, I'm using the gate.

Okay, but don't tell the leper.

The leper was right.
She never changed the locks.

Wait!
Wait, wait, wait.

He said it's kinda tricky.

He says you have
to slide it.

Here's the code.

2, 4, 6, 2.

The leper thought
of everything.

They look so happy.

Here it is.

Top drawer.

In the back.

Freeze!

Don't move.

I'm calling the police.

You're supposed
to be at your mother's.

My mother died
five years ago.

What are those?

What are those?
Throw them here now.

Now!

Mrs. Bronson, you don't want
to read those.

Who sent you?

Here's the thing.

I said who sent you?

Your husband.

Derek?

He's alive?

Is he okay?

Well...

"Okay" is a funny word.

So you've seen him?

Most of him.

Where is he?

Can you take me to him?

Mrs. Bronson,
you need to trust us.

There are reasons why
your husband cannot see you.

What, because of these?

These don't mean a thing.

I've known about this girl
for years.

Please.
I have to see him.

That's not a good idea.
Trust us.

Or I can have you
both arrested right now

for breaking and entering.

Over here.

Mr. Monk?

Miss--

Miss Teeger.

Did you get the letters?

Derek.

- Mandy.
- You're alive?

I knew it.

I always knew it.

You're wrong, darling.

I died seven years ago.

Are you looking for these?

Oh, Mandy.

She didn't mean
anything to me.

I know that, Derek.

I've known about this woman
for years.

I forgave you
a long, long time ago.

No, please.

Stay away.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Let me see you.

I just want you
to come home.

I can't.
Not like this.

Go away.
Forget about me.

Darling, there are doctors,

treatments.
There must be something they can do.

You don't think I've tried?

I've gone to every doctor
in Europe.

No one would have to see you.
You could stay inside.

We could build you a room
in the new house.

What new house?

You're-- you're moving?

I have to move.

As of next week,
you're legally dead.

Your sister's kids
will inherit everything.

I--

I barely know them.

Darling,
that money is yours.

Unfortunately,
your will says otherwise.

Tell them I'm not dead.

I'm--
I'll write you a letter.

Sweetheart.

They're not going
to believe me.

Or any letter.

There's a probate hearing next week.
You could come.

You could talk to them.

No, no.
It's out of the question.

Not like this.

Mr. Monk.

Is that you?

Yes, yes.

I'm afraid I have
one more favor to ask.

"Wife Claims Missing
"Billionaire Husband Still Alive.

"Probate hearing
is set for tomorrow.

"Former homicide detective
Adrian Monk

is set to testify."

What the hell's
Hansen's disease?

Leprosy.
He's a leper.

Oh, my God.

I thought they lived in colonies.
You know, like in Ben Hur.

And, uh, you met this guy
face-to-face?

Yep, he's a client.
He called us. He needed our help.

Mr. Monk put aside
all his fear and prejudice

and offered to do what he could,
and I am very, very proud of him.

I shook his hand.

I can still feel it.

He's not at all contagious.
We talked to a specialist.

Randy, I think
you might know him.

Dr. Polanski?

No.

Aaron Polanski?

- Can't say that I do.
- Really?

Because we thought we saw your picture
hanging up in his office.

Right.
It was a case.

I was undercover,
posing as a kid,

a teenager with bad acne.

Captain, you remember that case?

- You're on your own, Randy.
- Still tingling.

Well, I'll tell him you said hi.
We're going out tomorrow night.

When this hearing
was originally scheduled,

the intention was
to have Mr. Bronson

officially declared deceased.

But, as you all know,
some new information

has surfaced,
provided by his wife

Mrs. Bronson.

We have her statement,

plus a handwritten letter
from Mr. Bronson.

Which cannot be authenticated.

Of course it's not
a perfect match.

I told you.
Derek is sick.

He could hardly write
his own name.

That's rather convenient,
isn't it?

It wasn't just me.

Mr. Monk saw him, too.

Your Honor, if I may.

Mr. Monk.

Is this the man you saw?

I believe it is.

According to your testimony,

you only saw him in a dimly lit bar
and a parking garage.

Hardly ideal conditions.

That's true.

Well, Mr. Bronson's nephews

have been waiting a long time
for this estate to be probated.

I'm reluctant to make a decision
based on one man's testimony.

Your Honor, Adrian Monk
is not just anyone.

His memory and powers
of observation are legendary.

Well, there's a lot at stake here.
You say he has a great memory.

Mr. Monk.

Would you mind standing up
and turning around?

Could you describe my shirt?

Which one?

Which one?

The shirt you're wearing, or
the shirt your stenographer is wearing?

That's your shirt, too, isn't it?

You cut yourself shaving,

and there's a tiny drop
of blood on her collar.

What are you implying?

You were having a sex affair
with her on that couch.

The cushions are backwards.

And one of her earrings fell off.

It's, um...

it's right here.

She must have torn
her blouse.

I can see it sticking out
of her briefcase.

Your Honor.

I'm ready with my decision.

I will accept Mr. Monk's word
that he met with Derek Bronson.

Therefore, Mrs. Bronson

will retain control
of the entire estate.

How long has Mr. Steiner
been living here?

11 years.

And he never missed a canasta game
in all that time until last night.

When was the last time
you saw him?

Monday.
I saw him leaving.

And he didn't have a gig.

I could tell because he didn't
take his sheet music.

He's a musician.

I know he's a musician.

He's one of my oldest tenants.

You don't think I know
he's a musician?

Mrs. Kennedy, relax.

When you called the police,
you asked for homicide.

Now, I don't see any evidence
of a murder here.

He's dead.
I know it.

The canasta game.

Plus!

I found his cat
starving this morning.

How do you explain that?

Why don't you
wait downstairs, Mrs. Kennedy?

And we'll take a look
around for you.

Thank you.

What are you doing?

Background music.

You know, they don't keep
playing the same thing over and over.

Sure, they do.

Hard to concentrate.

Isn't it?

Hey, Randy.

Look at this.

What do you got?

Makeup kit.

Bandages.

Skin Disease.

That's interesting
bedtime reading.

His appointment book.

Looking pretty busy
every weekend.

Captain, look at this.

Last New Year's Eve, he played
a private party for Mandy Bronson.

Boy, this must be
the best first date

in the history
of first dates.

Maybe we should quit
while we're ahead.

I'm so glad your boss
needed my help.

Mm, me, too.

Whatever happened
with that case?

Oh, it's over.

Bronson went back
to his leper colony on Camino Island.

He says he loves it there.

Really?

Well, you know,
I can believe it.

I've seen some colonies
in Africa.

They're like four-star hotels.

You really are an expert.

Well, I should be.

Why is that?

Well, you remember
I said I knew one person with leprosy?

- It was me.
- What was you?

I had it as a kid.

Leprosy.
Hansen's disease.

Well, don't worry.
I'm completely cured.

Yeah, actually,
it's why I became a doctor.

Oh.
Yeah.

It's the best thing
that ever happened to me.

Really.

Imagine that.

Okay.

- What are you doing?
- Making a snack.

Oh, no.

No, I promised your mother.

No junk food.

- You promised?
- Yeah.

I am the babysitter.

I don't think so.

My mom said
I was babysitting you.

Okay.

Are you getting paid?

- Yeah.
- How much?

You know, that's
between your mother and me.

Why?
How much are you getting?

$8 an hour.

An hour?

I guess you're the sitter.

Enjoy your fries.

"Since 1840."
Who needed ketchup in 1840?

The security panel.

Pardon me?

The security panel
in Bronson's house!

Bendis Security, founded 2003.

The leper said
he hadn't been home in seven years.

How did he know
about that alarm system?

Julie, I was duped.

It was all a con.

A "leper-con."

- What?
- Was he magically delicious?

Okay, thanks.
I'll talk to you later. Bye!

- Natalie!
- Oh, God.

Natalie, listen.

Mom.

Hotter!
Need it hotter.

But Mom, are you okay?

I'm fine, honey.

How was the date?
Oh, it was great.

Sweetheart,
I need you to do me something.

I need you to go upstairs
and fill the bathtub with Listerine.

Go, go, go, go, go!

- Listen to this.
- I gotta tell you something.

- We've been duped!
- I've been duped!

Are you ready for this?
You're not gonna believe this.

He's not a leper.
He's a leper!

Oh, God.

You have the camera?
You better have the camera.

What are we looking for?

Evidence, proof, anything.

Oh, how could I not
have seen it?

Derek Bronson
is not a leper.

Hey, watch it.

Derek Bronson is dead.

His wife killed him
seven years ago.

And she's been living
off his money ever since.

I mean, she--
Watch the shoes.

She knew that when he
was declared dead officially,

the will would kick in,

the nephews would get everything,

and the party would be over.

So she found someone
who resembled Derek.

And she either hired him
or seduced him

to suddenly "reappear."

Will you please?

That's why they chose me.

Adrian Monk,
the perfect patsy.

They knew about my problems.

They knew I'd never take
a good look at the guy.

So there never really was a leper.

Except for the guy you were
making out with all night.

Are you drinking that?

Where's the woman who's been
lecturing me all week

about compassion
and tolerance?

It's not funny. You didn't have
your tongue down his throat.

I shook hands with one.
That's bad enough.

Your leper wasn't even a real leper.

I thought he was real.
My leper was the real deal.

That's what counts.
You know the old saying,

There is no heart so black as the black,
black heart of the phony leper?

- No, I never heard that one.
- Well, it's a saying. Up you go.

- Up you go.
- Up you.

- Up.
- Go.

Go.

- What if she's home?
- She's not home.

We've been calling the house
all morning.

- You still have the key?
- Yeah.

What is that?

- You hear that?
- Yeah.

Can I help you?

Oh, no, I'm just browsing.

Browsing for what?

Oh, did I say browsing?

No, I'm-- I'm waiting.

I'm just--
just waiting for someone.

Randall.
What a nice...surprise.

Hey, Doc.

This fell off the wall.

Right.
Yeah.

Not to worry.

We'll just toss it.

- Thanks.
- That's okay.

Well, you're looking good.

Thanks.

Well, uh...
I'll, uh...see you around.

- Take care.
- Oh, hey, I, uh,

I hear you're dating
a friend of mine.

Natalie Teeger.

Oh, yeah, she's amazing.

But I don't think
it's gonna happen.

Well, she reacted pretty badly
when I told her I used to have leprosy.

Really?

She couldn't handle it, huh?

No.

Some people.

Actually, I-I've been trying
to reach her

to give her a heads up.

I think Derek Bronson lied to her.

He told her he's been
living on Camino Island.

But I checked this morning,

and it turns out the leper colony there
has been closed for two years.

Really?

I mean, maybe that guy
wasn't really Bronson.

I mean, all those bandages.

Well, no, I mean,
the wife met him.

It's funny, though.
We--

We're working on another case,
missing persons.

We were gonna talk
to Monk about it.

We found a makeup kit
and a book on skin diseases.

I think I'm gonna stop by
and have a chat with the wife.

Thanks, Doc.

Can I come with you?

It-- it-- if Natalie is in trouble,
I'd just--

I'd like to be there.

- Yeah, sure.
- Oh, that's great. Thank you.

Why don't we, uh,
take separate cars?

Randy, I'm not contagious.

No, that's not what I meant.

Is that what you thought I meant?

- I mean, is that what you--
- Seemed like that.

Hello?

Can't it wait?

Hold on.

Oh, my God.

Why all the barbells?

Weights.

She's gonna dump him
in the ocean.

Probably did the same thing
seven years ago to her husband.

I know this guy.

He's the leper.

- He's not my leper.
- No, he's my leper.

We better call it in.
Give me your phone.

No, no.
There's no time. Here she comes.

Come on, that way!

- No, we'll never make it!
- That way!

- That way.
- I don't think so.

No, come on.

Alright, get up!

Help me unhook them.

- Hurry!
- Throw the ropes!

Do something!

We're moving.

Hurry!

- Mr. Monk, take the ropes down.
- Faster!

- Faster!
- I'm trying.

- That's good.
- Go, go, go.

Now it's good.
Okay, okay.

Here we go.
Do something!

I'm trying.

We're too high.

Stay down!

We're too high!

Stay down, I said!

Police officer!
Put your gun down!

Wait, it's Randy.
He's with somebody.

Drop the gun!

It's my leper.

Too low, too low.
We're too low!

We're too low, we're too low.

Put the gun down now!

Now!

Down on your knees,
and put your hands in front of you.

Down on your knees, and put
your hands in front of you. Now!

Now!

We're too low!

We're too low.

We're too low!

It's okay, it's okay,
it's okay.

We're too low!

We're too low!

We're gonna crash!

Mr. Monk, where are you?

I'm down here!

Down--

down here!

Take my hand.

You can do it.

Is there--

Is there anybody else...

up there?

Could you look around please?

Take my hand,
or you'll die!

I'm...thinking.

Please, please.

Take my hand.

Come on.
That's it.

Come on.
Come up here.

Give me your other hand.
I've got you.

Well.

What's the matter?

Hey, is the necklace too much?

Mom, you look hot.

You must really like this guy.

You're not scared?

No, why would I be scared?

Well, um, Mr. Monk,
he said--

We can't all live
by Mr. Monk's rules.

What kind of world
would this be?

- Am I late?
- No, you're right on time.

You're perfect.

Well, these are for you.

Oh, thank you.

And...

Oh-- oh, gosh.

Sorry. Give me a little time.
Work in progress.

Yeah, well, you take
all the time you want.

- Come on in.
- Okay, thank you.

Uh, is that Monk?

Adrian.
Did you get my message?

Hey, Doc.
I meant to call you.

I'm not much of a golfer,
but thanks for the invite.

What are you cooking?

Maybe we should stay in tonight.

You go have fun. You go out.
Go, go, go, go, go.

I've got a little bit of a cold.
I'd hate for you to catch it,

and I just mopped the floor.

- I got a little bit of a cold.
- Cold?

And I just mopped the floor.

Yeah, okay.

I'll, uh,
I'll catch you next time.

Catch you next time.

Okay.
All right.

Oh, Aaron, I want you
to meet somebody.

This is Julie.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

It's nice to meet you, too.

I've heard a lot about you.

Yeah.

Well, uh,
shall we get going?

- Take care.
- Bye.

Shall we?

Mr. Monk.

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