Original subtitles

Woman: Contract your core. With control. With speed.

Eight. Six.

Four, three, two, one. Perfect.

Thank you. Hey, Scott!

It's Scott, right? Yeah.

I think you forgot this. Oh, thank you.

It's yours, right? Yeah.

(sighs) Such a good class.

God, I love Jocelyn's classes.

Yeah, she's great. Yeah, she's really good.

I've been taking her class for a long time.

Well, thanks for the hat.

Do you wanna walk? Which way are you walking?

Oh, I have another class right now.

Another... Gym class.

Gym class?

(hesitantly) Yeah. Whoa.

I'm doing this two-a-day thing. It's fun.

Cool. It's like a rope... gym.

I'm late to it. I'm sorry.

All right. Well, are you gonna take her class on Thursday?

Oh yeah. I'm here six days a week. Okay, cool.

Thanks for the hat. All right, see ya.

Bye. Bye.

? ?

Instructor: So, ready? And release.

And swing up, drop your foot.

Swing up, drop your foot.

And now, invert.

Yeah!

? ?

(whistles)

(sizzling)

An interesting observation that I had yesterday

when I was listening to another practitioner...

(phone chimes)

(beeps)

(phone chimes)

? ?

(beeps) (breathes deeply)

(hisses) Ah!

(woman on computer) Yeah. Fuck me up.

(phone chimes)

(beeps) (breathes deeply)

(phone chimes)

(phone alarm buzzes)

(beeps)

(woman on computer) Oh! Oh yes!

(beeps) (breathes deeply)

? ?

(phone camera clicks)

(man on computer) You may be feeling depleted.

You may be feeling vulnerable.

You may even be exhausted.

But I need to tell you that's all normal.

(beeps)

(sighs)

? ?

(phone chimes)

Jocelyn: One, two. Good job!

Yes, really slow it down.

Use that resistance. Use that resistance.

Good job. Try.

(phone camera clicks)

(muffled music & chattering) (breathing hard)

Kellie: I mean, ever since she passed away,

my dad's been really introverted.

So now that he, like, wants to make this big exploration period for himself

and... go to fucking Burning Man

and, like, do whatever he's gonna do,

I mean, what am I gonna say?

Here you go, guys. Have a great night. Oh, wait, I've got this.

Oh, no, no, no. Oh yes.

I won that, really easily. Thank you, then.

That was great. Oh, are you ti-ti?

Um... it's just a thing I'm trying.

What does that mean, exactly? Umm...

Polyphasic sleep? Yeah.

It's also called "da Vinci Sleeping"

or "The Uberman Schedule."

Wait, so how many hours of sleep do you get in a day?

Uh... two.

Two?

I'm up 22 hours a day.

What happens if you miss a nap?

Apparently, you fall apart.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, when is your next nap?

Soon.

And where were you planning on doing that?

Uh... I was gonna suggest

that we go get massages

and I was gonna tell the masseuse to let me sleep for 20 minutes.

My God, you're so clever.

You wanna just come back to my place?

Nap?

Woman: One for you, and over here.

And one for you as well. Happy Halloween.

(man shouts) (people scream)

Whoo! (both laugh)

Makes me hard, man! All right.

Woman: It was good, right? Yeah, that was a good one.

God! Every year, though, 'cause we got married on Halloween,

so it's our anniversary. Instead of going anywhere, we're just like, "Ah!"

You know what I mean? Well...

Yeah. ...the spookers will spook.

You know us. Mm-hmm.

So, what are you? Oh, take a look.

School shooter.

He's a pot dealer. Christ, Katie.

Okay, fuck you. Okay? I just needed a moment.

I see that now. It's not that easy.

It's full of pots. I see it.

It's a tricky one. No, I get it.

No, it's good. Man 2: Hello.

Oh, hi! Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween to you. "The Book of Mormon."

I love that musical so much.

Well, perhaps you would enjoy reading the real "Book of Mormon."

Are you serious, bud? I-I-- oh!

You coming to my house, bro, and dropping

this "Book of Mormon" bullshit on us?

We're just trying to have a good time.

This is Halloween. Absolutely.

I don't know if you can look right here at the front of this house--

Hey, happy anniversary. Thank you.

Do we? Do we? (phone chirps)

Hey, Kellie. (on phone) Hey, happy Halloween.

You too. You still at home?

Kellie: Yeah. How long will you be?

You know, I'll be like... 15 minutes. (beeps)

(whispers) Can you just text me when you get here?

Don't buzz, okay? The Guy: Yes.

Thank you. Yeah, see ya.

Already got fucking Christmas, all right?

Man, they just get me heated. I know. It's okay.

Let's have some fun. Oh, we've got a zombie Joe Biden coming.

(Kellie whispers) Thank you, sir.

(whispers) Is he okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's sleeping.

No, he's-- he's an Uberman.

Hey, how do you like that thing?

Oh my God, I love it. It's the best.

Yeah, it's way better for your throat.

Do you wanna try some? Yeah.

(pot clangs lightly)

(pots clanging)

(pots clanging) (whispers) Shit.

(clanging loudly) Shit.

(whirring)

(moans)

I pretty much exclusively drink carbonated water these days.

Here you go.

It seems like that'd be bad for your calcium absorption. Hmm?

Ah, that was fucking stupid.

Sorry.

Scott, I am seriously...

seriously impressed with your commitment to this shit.

Ah. Have you always been like this?

It's kind of freakish, right? No! I mean, I love it.

(moans) No, seriously, it's really inspiring.

Before...

I started taking Jocelyn's class,

back when she was at Soul Cycle, I mean, I was a fucking wreck.

I used to sit around all day,

smoke cigarettes and that sort of shit.

But...

when I realized that it was... up to me...

(chuckles) then things really started to change for me.

And then I was just like, "All right. Let's do this."

And I know it sounds totally gay and culty,

but Jocelyn kind of saved my life.

No, I mean... I get it. Do you--

do you want some of this? Oh no. I'd just fall asleep.

And I've got five hours before I get to sleep again.

Well, then...

if you need... help staying awake...

? ?

Kellie: Oh my God, these are so beautiful. Thank you.

So...

what happened...

with your ex?

Why we split up?

I'll tell you my fucked up shit if you tell me yours.

It was sort of complicated.

We just didn't even have a chance

to get to know each other before we got married, you know?

Yeah. I mean, Charlotte and I got together senior year at college, so--

Exactly. I mean, I was...

barely 20, and he was 33,

so, I mean, his life was way bigger than mine,

and I just sort of...

got enveloped in it, I guess.

I just didn't... (sighs)

I just didn't have the self-esteem at that point

to realize that my point of view was totally valid.

You know?

Then...

I met this woman...

at a burlesque workshop that I took.

(laughs)

And, I mean, it was a little confusing.

(chuckles)

She was just really confident and sexy,

she knew herself, and she was attracted to me.

It's not like I'm a lesbian. It was just a breaking point.

You know what I mean? And...

I don't know. She gave me a way out.

Wow.

Intense.

So... (chuckles) enough about me.

(laughs)

What happened with you? What went wrong?

It's sort of complicated.

It's a multi-layered situation,

mostly philosophical. Look, I'm Jewish.

He was Catholic. I didn't--

Yeah, it was deeper than just religion.

She was closed off to basic universal truths.

Oh, my God.

"The Power of Now" is like my bible.

Yeah, but I find Tolle even a little passive.

What?

Qasim's much better.

More active.

He says we have the ability to use our conscious free will

to be the authors of our own lives,

to create the kind of life we prefer,

the kind of life we deserve, you know?

I mean... right on.

This Qasim like your guru?

Not a guru.

No, he's a...

multi-dimensional alien angel

who uploads information telepathically

to an individual in Arizona named Tegan Freely.

(laughs)

Oh, I mean, aliens are cool.

Look, I know it sounds bizarre,

and Tegan's website comes off a little esoteric to some,

but... (laughs)

Qasim addresses all of that

and so much more.

I think you'd love it.

No, I'm-I'm-- I'm sure.

Wait. So...

Charlotte... didn't really get Qasim?

She tried to.

I knew it was over when we were

at Tegan's sacred geometry workshop in Sedona.

I mean, we were all there,

hundreds of us standing at the interdimensional gate...

while Tegan channeled Qasim to lead us in paradimensional intercourse.

And there's part of the ceremony that requires you

to put these small crystals inside your sex organs.

It's-- it's incredibly difficult

for the men, as you can imagine,

but the sex organs are the center of our galactic activation portals.

And you can harness the most interstellar energy from there,

which then gets downloaded into the crystals

which you then keep.

? ?

And Charlotte wouldn't do it.

And that's why I knew it was over.

She just didn't get it,

and all she had to do was slip it in.

(people chattering)

(phone chimes)

? ?

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0