Original subtitles

So good to meet you. Mwah. Mwah!

You're adorable, you fucking peanut. (indistinct chattering)

I love it. You guys.

Oh, God bless. So good. Guys, take it easy!

So love you. Obsessed with you.

Ew. What the fuck, man?

Faggot convention over here. How did Peter end up

with that total fucking troll?

What in the gay hell? He kept cornering me all night.

Oh! And his breath--

it, like, smelled like old pennies.

Yes! That's exactly what it was.

Hey, man, can I get a cigarette and a light for a dollar, please?

Here, hand me those so you can--

What was that about? It was like, skin tags, take them off your face.

They're called tags for a reason. Thank you.

You know what I mean? Thank you!

Just, like, all over his face.

Just on and on-- you know?

Oh, I don't have a dollar.

Anyway, did you notice too how his Adam's apple

literally looked like he had swallowed an arrowhead or--

So sharp, so gross. So sharp!

Fucking Olivia-- unbelievable.

You can't just not wear a bra. You did not wear a bra.

She's looking good since she did Blue Print, you must admit.

Oh my God, do not even say that.

This tastes like spunk.

But it's like, how am I supposed to express my creativity

and, like, really stretch my wings

if they don't give me a budget? Like, I'm a bird in a cage,

literally, right now.

And I have to shit and I'm in Meatpacking--

Can you-- can you stop by the Duane Reade and get me some tampons?

It's like Nicole Simpson up in here.

This is your selection, isn't it?

I can tell this is yours

because it's really well curated.

Woke up this morning, made me an exquisite breakfast--

So hot. But I had plans with Benjamin

and I made him pick me up at Jonathan's house.

You're such a slut. I'm obsessed with you.

Uh, why do you keep making me do this? I'm a bad friend.

Oh, my god, hide me, hide me.

Please just, like, help me. You're being so dramatic.

No, you don't understand. You're such a queen sometimes.

No, he fisted me at Kanye's secret show

in the Boom Boom Room at The Standard.

You've got to stop letting people put their fist up there.

Just put your face in front of mine.

Ah, this is ridiculous.

(laughs) Hi.

I gotta say, originally I was kind of upset

that you guys had a kid, 'cause he was kind of

screwing up my income stream, but he's really cute!

I would have had you here every week for the last two years

if she wasn't breastfeeding.

I still really want it, though.

Are you guys doing anything fun tonight?

Well, not tonight. But tomorrow night,

my mom is taking him and we're gonna go up to Beacon

and stay with friends and... (whispers) get fucked up

(speaks normally) and just sleep. (phone chirping)

Ah, sorry, one second.

I want this one!

Hi. You still at the same address?

Max: Yeah, and I don't really have a lot of time.

No, okay, that's fine. I'll be in like an hour.

Okay, can you get here sooner than that, though?

I pressed X!

"I pressed X!" We'll see.

Bye. Bye.

Oh, and also the one device in the entire world

that doesn't have Black Book on it.

So, thanks, Dad. Merry Christmas, faggot.

Lainey: Oh my God, kill yourself, Olivia.

Just fucking kill yourself.

Have you seen her Facebook profile?

She's listing herself as an artist.

Listen, you dumb bitch, just cutting up a Klimt coffee table book

and making collages does not make you an artist.

Her Tumblr is actually beautiful, though. Oh my God!

Do not even say that. You're just enabling her mediocrity.

Hey, hey, dumb bitch, your boyfriend tried to sleep with me

after the Ginger and Rosa screening. Idiot.

Hey, man, are you going to give us a discount

since you were actually two hours late for us?

No. It's Friday night. I'm very busy.

Okay, calm down. Okay, so it's $50?

All right, so, babe, money.

No, I didn't take out any cash today.

I have $63 in my account. I'm waiting on a paycheck.

Are you serious right now? I don't even smoke.

I'm not paying for this.

We got this weed because we told Erika--

you told Erika that we would trade her for coke.

Okay, you're gonna smoke half the bag before we even give it to her.

So I'll shit out $50 right now? Where am I going to get $50?

Just-- Max, just go down to the bodega.

It's literally a 45-second walk--

No-- no bodega. Because bodega takes $2, Chase takes $3.

Go into overdraft immediately. You are so ghetto.

You guys need to have this shit figured out before I get here.

No, no, it's fine. We'll just-- we'll all go to the Chase

No. No, no, no, no. or the Duane Reade together.

That's not how it works, dude.

Listen, why don't I just stay here with her

and you can go down to the Duane Reade?

Are you fucking serious right now?

I am not staying here alone with a shady drug dealer.

Man: Where are you? Hey, man.

Need to leave soon. Yeah, it's taking a little while.

I'll be there.

About fucking time.

Oh, I can't--

Um, no!

Bumped right into us! Are you fucking kidding me?

Max: Oh, my god!

Hey! Hey!

Okay. Are we doing this?

Okay! Sorry, that's our drug deal--

Like an angel! Max: You are so cute!

(indistinct) Bye!

(indistinct) He was at Bonnaroo and he had a drug trip and it, like, changed him.

Is that rose gold?

Yeah. Ugh! I love rose gold.

When I get married, I'm gonna get a rose-gold band

with, like, black diamonds.

Good.

Thank you so much. A-plus customer service from you.

I wish I could tip you. Uh, I have got to rally!

I am so not feeling this tonight.

I know, I feel like poop.

(singing softly)

Not cool, man. What?

You're gonna give me 50 more dollars?

Why would I do that? You know why.

Oh my God, you guys. Drama!

What's going on? Your friend knows what's going on.

I really-- I don't know what you're talking about.

I came here with nine bags and now I only have seven.

So you either give me back the one you took

or you give me another $50.

Well, I took one from you,

which I literally just paid you for.

So I think our transaction is over

and you should be walking out of my door right now.

Just give it back. I'm not gonna do anything.

Just give it back or--

Or what? You're going to call the police?

File a report?

You know what? Fuck it. You can have it.

And I hope you enjoy it because you're blacklisted now.

Have a good night, assholes.

Yeah, you smell like dick cheese.

You were molested as a kid.

I like this, so I'm gonna take it.

Thanks for the tip, chuckleheads.

(door closes)

It's okay, I took three bags.

That stupid stoner doesn't even know how to count.

How do you think he knew you were molested?

? You gotta, you gotta, you gotta?

? You gotta, you gotta, you gotta ?

? To look the part ?

? How to appear ?

? How to disappear ?

? How to appear ?

? How to disappear ?

? You've got to look the part ?

? You've got to look the part ?

? How to disappear ?

? How to reappear... ?

? How to disappear ?

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