All language subtitles for High Maintenance s01e04 Tick.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional) Download
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew Download
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian Download
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,100 (baby babbling) 2 00:00:18,135 --> 00:00:20,635 Yeah, man. That's the East Coast... ticks. 3 00:00:20,670 --> 00:00:23,972 Well, yeah, but we almost didn't go to Montauk, which is what kills me 4 00:00:24,007 --> 00:00:26,774 because it's like, last minute, our friends decide to elope, 5 00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:28,743 and we went to her parents' summerhouse 6 00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:30,489 just to be supportive and, like, go with the flow, 7 00:00:30,513 --> 00:00:32,244 even though there's so much to do and 8 00:00:32,269 --> 00:00:34,248 we're obviously not even remotely unpacked. 9 00:00:34,283 --> 00:00:37,418 And besides, we left LA to avoid dying in a drought, 10 00:00:37,453 --> 00:00:38,898 not so some tick could murder my baby. 11 00:00:38,922 --> 00:00:41,756 Don't blame the tick, babe. It's the Lyme disease inside the tick 12 00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:42,734 that'll kill our daughter. 13 00:00:42,758 --> 00:00:44,791 Oh, you know what, save that for her eulogy. 14 00:00:44,827 --> 00:00:46,227 Like a ticking time bomb. 15 00:00:46,262 --> 00:00:47,561 Quinn: That is in poor taste. 16 00:00:47,597 --> 00:00:50,041 - Jim, great job in the kitchen, man. - Really, this isn't funny. 17 00:00:50,065 --> 00:00:51,298 I liked it. 18 00:00:51,334 --> 00:00:52,933 What are you doing right now? 19 00:00:52,968 --> 00:00:55,469 Yeah, let me know how that pen works out, man. 20 00:00:55,505 --> 00:00:57,371 Hey, can I offer you guys 21 00:00:57,406 --> 00:00:59,506 a complimentary housewarming edible? 22 00:00:59,541 --> 00:01:01,008 Oh, that's very kind. 23 00:01:01,043 --> 00:01:03,243 - Oh, that's... We're fine, babe. - (baby babbling) 24 00:01:03,278 --> 00:01:05,612 - Oh. - Okay. 25 00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:07,648 I actually have a colleague who wanted your number. 26 00:01:07,683 --> 00:01:09,293 Can I just give it to her or do you need... 27 00:01:09,317 --> 00:01:12,686 Yeah, sure. Just, um, just text me her name number and address, 28 00:01:12,721 --> 00:01:14,454 and then when she texts me, 29 00:01:14,489 --> 00:01:16,367 just make sure she doesn't say anything about weed. 30 00:01:16,391 --> 00:01:18,102 Make sure she just says she wants to hang out. 31 00:01:18,126 --> 00:01:19,392 - Got it. Cool. - Okay? 32 00:01:19,427 --> 00:01:21,463 That is the cutest baby I've ever seen. 33 00:01:21,464 --> 00:01:22,563 Oh, thanks, so much. 34 00:01:22,599 --> 00:01:24,232 You are so beautiful. 35 00:01:24,268 --> 00:01:26,434 Congratulations. And the new house. 36 00:01:26,469 --> 00:01:29,204 Can I take any of these empty boxes down or anything? 37 00:01:29,239 --> 00:01:31,472 Well, actually, would you mind taking that trash? 38 00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:32,585 - I can smell Jane's diaper. - No, babe. 39 00:01:32,609 --> 00:01:34,553 - You don't need to do that. - Oh, I don't even mind. 40 00:01:34,577 --> 00:01:36,577 - He's helpful. - I'm very helpful. 41 00:01:36,613 --> 00:01:37,978 Yeah, okay. Thank you, bike safe. 42 00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:40,448 Yeah, thank you. I'll take the recyclables too. 43 00:01:40,483 --> 00:01:42,116 Sweet. Thanks, man. 44 00:01:42,151 --> 00:01:43,684 Bye-bye, you guys. 45 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,921 I cannot believe you seriously just asked the weed guy to take out the trash. 46 00:01:46,956 --> 00:01:48,455 He wouldn't ask if he didn't want to. 47 00:01:48,490 --> 00:01:50,857 It's an empty gesture, I think. 48 00:02:06,172 --> 00:02:13,434 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 49 00:02:42,944 --> 00:02:44,076 (speaks indistinctly) 50 00:03:15,339 --> 00:03:16,975 (woman chuckles) 51 00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:26,317 ? ? 52 00:03:41,167 --> 00:03:43,901 (slurping) 53 00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:52,275 (slurps) 54 00:03:52,310 --> 00:03:54,645 (radio playing indistinctly) 55 00:04:39,590 --> 00:04:43,925 ? ? 56 00:04:46,530 --> 00:04:50,765 (theremin warbling classical melody) 57 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:47,287 We see photos of you with David Bowie's wife, the African model. 58 00:05:47,322 --> 00:05:48,788 You look so beautiful. 59 00:05:48,823 --> 00:05:50,023 Oh, thank you. 60 00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,358 That was kind of surreal. 61 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:54,093 Yeah, I mean, this whole year has been surreal. 62 00:05:54,129 --> 00:05:57,530 Liang has been getting us into some pretty fancy rooms these days. 63 00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:59,098 Oh, Wei, I was meaning to ask you... 64 00:05:59,134 --> 00:06:02,068 Do you have any photos of you and Liang back in the '80s 65 00:06:02,103 --> 00:06:03,347 when he was playing in the subways? 66 00:06:03,371 --> 00:06:06,405 'Cause my friend is making a documentary on musical prodigies 67 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,976 - and Liang is in it. - (gasps) You get so famous now! 68 00:06:10,011 --> 00:06:11,672 I find you some photos and send 69 00:06:11,697 --> 00:06:13,279 - them to you next week. - Okay. 70 00:06:19,019 --> 00:06:21,953 Give me your address. I don't have your new one since you moved. 71 00:06:21,989 --> 00:06:24,368 - Excuse me. May we please have... - I'll give you Liang's manager's e-mail 72 00:06:24,392 --> 00:06:26,903 - and he'll coordinate the photos. - ...a glass of Sancerre and the check. 73 00:06:35,969 --> 00:06:39,370 Well, have you given some thought about coming to Berlin? 74 00:06:39,406 --> 00:06:43,942 Uh, I think we stay home. His back hurts a lot. 75 00:06:43,977 --> 00:06:46,043 He cannot sit through the six-hour flight. 76 00:06:46,079 --> 00:06:47,623 The seats are first-class. They recline. 77 00:06:47,647 --> 00:06:49,380 Yeah, they're actually really comfortable. 78 00:06:49,416 --> 00:06:51,416 I mean, I slept all the way here. 79 00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:59,591 Sorry. I told you, it's going to be fine. 80 00:06:59,626 --> 00:07:02,459 Solange's dad has like a million frequent flyer miles. 81 00:07:02,494 --> 00:07:04,528 All right? Cost is not going to be an issue. 82 00:07:04,563 --> 00:07:08,498 I know Liang said no gifts, but... 83 00:07:10,536 --> 00:07:12,002 I couldn't help myself. 84 00:07:22,648 --> 00:07:26,850 (ringtones playing) 85 00:08:13,697 --> 00:08:20,135 ? ? 86 00:08:46,129 --> 00:08:49,363 ? ? 87 00:09:11,253 --> 00:09:13,153 Man: You cannot delete the Internet. 88 00:09:13,188 --> 00:09:14,765 I think you probably just deleted the shortcut. 89 00:09:14,789 --> 00:09:17,324 Just the shortcut. Yeah, that part right there. 90 00:09:17,359 --> 00:09:18,758 Okay, guys, hey, listen. 91 00:09:18,793 --> 00:09:19,993 Great session today, 92 00:09:20,028 --> 00:09:22,863 but before we go, I just want to say a couple of things. 93 00:09:22,898 --> 00:09:25,431 I still notice that some of you are licking your finger 94 00:09:25,467 --> 00:09:26,867 before you swipe the phone. 95 00:09:26,902 --> 00:09:28,935 You don't need to do that with this technology. 96 00:09:28,971 --> 00:09:30,670 And I'm talking to you, Joon. Okay? 97 00:09:30,705 --> 00:09:33,205 - (laughing) - Um, so, uh, that's the other thing. 98 00:09:33,241 --> 00:09:36,220 And then, like, let's try some of the things this week that we learned today. 99 00:09:36,244 --> 00:09:38,611 Let's try FaceTiming with our grandchildren. 100 00:09:38,646 --> 00:09:40,880 Hey, let's use voice-to-text. 101 00:09:40,915 --> 00:09:43,082 Um, and now I'm gonna answer the questions 102 00:09:43,117 --> 00:09:45,985 that you guys text to me before we finish up class. 103 00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:48,687 "IRL" means "in real life." 104 00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:51,790 And just remember, Mary, you don't need to sign your name. 105 00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:54,459 Your contact information comes right up on the screen. 106 00:09:54,495 --> 00:09:56,028 Although "sincerely" is kind of nice. 107 00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:58,063 It's kind of nice to get a sincerely from you. 108 00:09:58,099 --> 00:10:01,033 Man (on TV): The Republican pushback has been completely disorganized. 109 00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:03,935 Come on, let's hope that the Obama administration... 110 00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:06,971 Woman (on TV): You mean to tell me the DNA was planted... 111 00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:09,908 (TV continuing indistinctly) 112 00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:24,588 (alarm buzzing) 113 00:10:54,453 --> 00:10:55,752 Man: Hey, Jim! 114 00:10:55,787 --> 00:10:57,321 Whoa! 115 00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:11,133 (electronic music thumping) 116 00:11:33,724 --> 00:11:38,427 ? ? 117 00:12:29,045 --> 00:12:33,980 (lively chattering) 118 00:12:39,488 --> 00:12:41,788 Uh, hi. 119 00:12:41,823 --> 00:12:42,956 Oh, Cookie! 120 00:12:42,991 --> 00:12:46,093 Hey, everybody, this is my daughter, Quinn. 121 00:12:46,128 --> 00:12:48,028 Quinn, this is everybody. Hey! 122 00:12:48,064 --> 00:12:49,529 - All: Hi! - Hey. 123 00:12:49,565 --> 00:12:52,799 - Woman: Quinn! - Hey, mama! 124 00:12:52,834 --> 00:12:54,278 Quinn: You're who I should be talking to. 125 00:12:54,302 --> 00:12:56,402 My dad says that you run a preschool? 126 00:12:56,438 --> 00:12:58,638 That's my 20-month-old over there, Jane. 127 00:12:58,674 --> 00:13:00,941 Oh, I met her. She's so smiley. 128 00:13:00,976 --> 00:13:02,175 Yeah, she is. 129 00:13:02,210 --> 00:13:05,111 It's actually a preschool for grown-ups. 130 00:13:05,146 --> 00:13:08,114 - Oh... - You should totally check it out. 131 00:13:08,149 --> 00:13:09,549 Isn't that just so fleek? 132 00:13:09,584 --> 00:13:11,962 Oh, Dad, I'm not sure you're quite getting the usage on that yet. 133 00:13:11,986 --> 00:13:14,954 Ha-cha-cha, give me a break. Come on, don't you love it? 134 00:13:14,989 --> 00:13:16,667 She's got all these Wall-Streeters coming in, 135 00:13:16,691 --> 00:13:18,924 doing finger painting and taking naps. 136 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,293 I think it's fabulous. 137 00:13:20,328 --> 00:13:22,260 Yeah. Only Costco's finest, I see. 138 00:13:22,296 --> 00:13:26,131 This is Professor Cupcake. He's one of our instructors. 139 00:13:26,166 --> 00:13:28,000 - Hi, Cupcake. - Hi, Juicebox. 140 00:13:28,035 --> 00:13:29,167 Jim: I call her Cookie! 141 00:13:29,203 --> 00:13:31,169 Oh, sounds like a lot of carbs. 142 00:13:31,205 --> 00:13:34,840 Nasim was basically, like, an orphan before me, you know? 143 00:13:34,875 --> 00:13:38,210 I mean, don't you sometimes feel like it's narcissistic 144 00:13:38,245 --> 00:13:40,912 to be like, "Oh, my genes, DNA... 145 00:13:40,947 --> 00:13:43,781 I have to give birth." You know? I... 146 00:13:43,817 --> 00:13:45,550 Oh, I think she's hungry. 147 00:13:45,586 --> 00:13:47,185 Oh, I'm still lactating. 148 00:13:47,221 --> 00:13:48,987 - My younger one is four and... - No, no. 149 00:13:49,022 --> 00:13:50,366 - That's fine, thank you. - Are you sure? 150 00:13:50,390 --> 00:13:51,590 Dean: Yes, thank you. 151 00:13:51,625 --> 00:13:53,002 Woman: Okay. I think I'm leaking... 152 00:13:53,026 --> 00:13:54,559 Oh, you know what, it's not... 153 00:13:54,595 --> 00:13:57,194 Oh, yeah, come on. I'd rather do that. 154 00:13:57,230 --> 00:13:59,030 It's more direct. 155 00:13:59,065 --> 00:14:00,632 I mean, Jesus Christ! Only in Brooklyn 156 00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:02,211 can you smoke pot all day with your friends 157 00:14:02,235 --> 00:14:03,512 and call it a preschool for adults. 158 00:14:03,536 --> 00:14:06,170 Oh, I don't think there's any pot involved in the preschool. 159 00:14:06,205 --> 00:14:08,322 I think that's about offering adults 160 00:14:08,323 --> 00:14:10,620 a chance to escape from their responsibilities in the city. 161 00:14:10,644 --> 00:14:13,322 As far as I can tell, these people spend every day they're not at Burning Man 162 00:14:13,346 --> 00:14:15,513 decompressing from or getting ready for Burning Man. 163 00:14:15,548 --> 00:14:17,914 I don't know, day raves are really trending right now, 164 00:14:17,950 --> 00:14:19,583 so they might know something we don't. 165 00:14:19,619 --> 00:14:21,685 Oh, really, are day raves on fleek? 166 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,298 - Oh, I know, it's terrible. - Ha-cha-cha. 167 00:14:23,322 --> 00:14:25,856 I know. Stop. I know, he's the worst. 168 00:14:25,891 --> 00:14:27,458 - Ha-cha-cha. - Stop. 169 00:14:27,493 --> 00:14:28,891 In fact, he actually called something 170 00:14:28,915 --> 00:14:30,471 "off fleek" last night. Did you hear that? 171 00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:31,940 He just wants to be one of the cool kids. 172 00:14:31,964 --> 00:14:34,075 Well, and since he started smoking bowls at 11:00 a.m., 173 00:14:34,099 --> 00:14:35,231 he's forgetting things. 174 00:14:35,267 --> 00:14:37,467 Like the fact that he said he would take Jane on Monday. 175 00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:38,501 Why can't you take her? 176 00:14:38,537 --> 00:14:39,614 Well, I was hoping to go climbing. 177 00:14:39,638 --> 00:14:41,616 Remember, I don't have class 'cause of the holiday. 178 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:43,674 Oh, well, I'm sorry my super generous dad 179 00:14:43,709 --> 00:14:45,853 who does all this stuff for us can't be there on Monday 180 00:14:45,877 --> 00:14:47,336 and you have to spend time with your own kid. 181 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:50,358 No, come on. You know that's not what I'm saying. I'm basically just repeating 182 00:14:50,382 --> 00:14:51,725 back things that you say all the time. 183 00:14:51,749 --> 00:14:53,994 - Nah, I say it a little differently. - I'm not attacking his character. 184 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:57,320 He's just really saving our asses right now, so I think we can let him have this. 185 00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:58,588 The... Oh, yeah. 186 00:14:58,623 --> 00:15:00,690 I might go with him next time. 187 00:15:00,725 --> 00:15:02,591 - To the... a day rave? - Yeah. 188 00:15:02,626 --> 00:15:03,592 Cool. 189 00:15:03,627 --> 00:15:05,360 As long as you can watch Jane. 190 00:15:05,396 --> 00:15:07,129 - Yup. - Great. 191 00:15:08,632 --> 00:15:10,066 I'm so glad you came. 192 00:15:10,101 --> 00:15:11,145 We're gonna have a fabulous time. 193 00:15:11,169 --> 00:15:13,169 No one's gonna make me dance with them, right? 194 00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:14,581 - I can just dance by myself? - No, no, no. 195 00:15:14,605 --> 00:15:16,772 You just do you, Cookie. Everything's gonna be great. 196 00:15:16,808 --> 00:15:18,473 Oh, wow, Gaby Hoffmann. 197 00:15:18,509 --> 00:15:20,342 - Who? - Right there, Gaby Hoffmann. 198 00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:22,911 - You know who she is. - Wait, that's Gaby? 199 00:15:22,946 --> 00:15:24,879 Hey, I know her! Gaby! 200 00:15:24,915 --> 00:15:29,150 (dance music playing) 201 00:15:45,936 --> 00:15:49,403 Inhale, lift your arms up! 202 00:15:49,439 --> 00:15:52,240 Exhale, and let's om. 203 00:15:52,275 --> 00:15:55,343 All: Om... 204 00:15:59,115 --> 00:16:01,115 Exhale. Round cat. 205 00:16:03,686 --> 00:16:05,085 Inhale. Cow. 206 00:16:08,124 --> 00:16:10,224 Draw your navel up, 207 00:16:10,259 --> 00:16:11,992 and back to dog. 208 00:16:12,027 --> 00:16:13,526 And breathe. 209 00:16:14,897 --> 00:16:19,066 Sit bones up and back, and stretch. 210 00:16:19,101 --> 00:16:23,237 Open muladhara chakra and stretch your coochie. 211 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,106 ? Heat ? 212 00:16:27,142 --> 00:16:31,110 ? You see the road I wanna follow ? 213 00:16:31,146 --> 00:16:35,348 ? It takes a turn, it's hard to follow ? 214 00:16:35,384 --> 00:16:38,251 ? I want your touch, I want your body ? 215 00:16:38,287 --> 00:16:39,952 ? I feel the heat ? 216 00:16:46,127 --> 00:16:47,760 ? I feel the heat ? 217 00:16:51,132 --> 00:16:52,665 ? Heat ? 218 00:16:54,368 --> 00:16:56,002 ? I feel the heat ? 219 00:16:57,905 --> 00:17:02,107 DJ: What's up? What's up? Good morning, yeah! 220 00:17:05,913 --> 00:17:07,313 (door opens) 221 00:17:07,348 --> 00:17:09,014 - Hi! - Hi. 222 00:17:09,049 --> 00:17:11,750 I didn't realize you were gonna be here so early. 223 00:17:11,786 --> 00:17:13,551 Yeah, I was at that morning dance thing. 224 00:17:13,586 --> 00:17:14,964 Did you get my text about the juice? 225 00:17:14,988 --> 00:17:16,254 Yeah, yeah. I responded, yes. 226 00:17:16,290 --> 00:17:18,534 - I got the green and the beet. - Oh, right, right, right, sorry. 227 00:17:18,558 --> 00:17:21,026 It's just I'm in... I'm in a weird headspace. 228 00:17:21,061 --> 00:17:22,138 It was weird? It was no good? 229 00:17:22,162 --> 00:17:23,494 No, you know what, it was fine. 230 00:17:23,530 --> 00:17:25,563 It was just, um... It just wasn't for me. 231 00:17:25,598 --> 00:17:27,665 There was a lot of touching and hugging 232 00:17:27,701 --> 00:17:29,545 and body glitter, just too early in the morning. 233 00:17:29,569 --> 00:17:31,235 But I'm over 30, so what do I know? 234 00:17:31,270 --> 00:17:33,182 Yeah, it's weird. I can't do anything in the morning. 235 00:17:33,206 --> 00:17:34,505 Like, I can't even read a book. 236 00:17:34,541 --> 00:17:35,840 Like, anything... 237 00:17:35,875 --> 00:17:37,052 I'm sorry to cut you off, Jess. 238 00:17:37,076 --> 00:17:38,843 I just... I was hoping for a moment of quiet. 239 00:17:39,879 --> 00:17:41,446 - Oh, yeah, totally. - Great. 240 00:17:41,481 --> 00:17:42,513 Sorry. 241 00:17:44,384 --> 00:17:47,784 (phone ringing) 242 00:17:47,820 --> 00:17:49,086 (chair scraping) 243 00:17:49,121 --> 00:17:50,187 Sorry. 244 00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:57,561 (computer chimes) 245 00:17:57,596 --> 00:18:00,264 - It's my birthday... - Where are we on the settee? 246 00:18:00,299 --> 00:18:01,565 What's a settee? 247 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:04,468 It's the couch thing I asked you to order. 248 00:18:04,503 --> 00:18:07,136 Oh. Uh... 249 00:18:07,172 --> 00:18:09,673 Yeah, I will f... I will find... I'll find that... 250 00:18:09,708 --> 00:18:11,842 - I'll send you the link again. - Oh, okay, yeah. 251 00:18:11,877 --> 00:18:14,143 - Happy birthday. - Okay, thank you. 252 00:18:14,179 --> 00:18:19,648 ? ? 253 00:18:37,769 --> 00:18:40,703 Hey, you okay, man? 254 00:18:40,738 --> 00:18:42,170 Hey. 255 00:18:43,808 --> 00:18:44,707 You okay? 256 00:18:44,742 --> 00:18:47,142 Um, that... That's our chair! 257 00:18:47,177 --> 00:18:48,377 What? 258 00:18:48,413 --> 00:18:50,646 That's our chair, the one he's sitting on, it's ours. 259 00:18:50,681 --> 00:18:51,958 We're just waiting for him to wake up, 260 00:18:51,982 --> 00:18:53,648 - but that's our chair. - Do you know him? 261 00:18:53,683 --> 00:18:54,716 We saw it first, sorry. 262 00:18:54,751 --> 00:18:56,718 But you don't know him? 263 00:18:56,753 --> 00:18:58,020 No. 264 00:19:00,958 --> 00:19:02,657 - We've been here. Sorry. - I see. 265 00:19:02,692 --> 00:19:04,159 - It's all yours. - Both: Thank you. 266 00:19:04,194 --> 00:19:05,394 - Good night. - Good night. 267 00:19:05,429 --> 00:19:07,963 It's a beautiful piece. Everyone wants it. 268 00:19:07,998 --> 00:19:10,298 - ? The chair is mine ? - (phone ringing) 269 00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:12,600 (phone ringing) 270 00:19:12,636 --> 00:19:13,902 Hey. 271 00:19:13,937 --> 00:19:15,369 Jim, hey. 272 00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,071 Can you call me back the normal way? 273 00:19:17,106 --> 00:19:18,418 Jim: What's that, bud? What'd you say? 274 00:19:18,442 --> 00:19:20,207 This is, uh, video. 275 00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:22,710 Yeah, it's FaceTime. 276 00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:25,012 I'll call you back. 277 00:19:25,048 --> 00:19:27,048 Nobody wants to do the FaceTime. 278 00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:34,355 (phone ringing) 279 00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:35,990 Okay. 280 00:19:36,025 --> 00:19:38,326 Here we go. How can I help you? 281 00:19:38,361 --> 00:19:39,771 Jim: Hey. I'm babysitting Jane tonight. 282 00:19:39,795 --> 00:19:41,073 You got to come to the parlor floor. 283 00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:44,431 Okay, cool. So, uh, I'll put you last 284 00:19:44,467 --> 00:19:47,133 and then I can get those playlists from you. Sound good? 285 00:19:47,169 --> 00:19:48,101 Ha-cha-cha! 286 00:19:48,136 --> 00:19:49,937 Yeah, ha-cha-cha, see you, man. 287 00:19:52,508 --> 00:19:53,440 Feel better. 288 00:19:53,476 --> 00:19:55,108 How long can a person sleep for? 289 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,114 It was fun and I mean, interesting 290 00:20:01,149 --> 00:20:04,250 from like, a sociological perspective. 291 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:05,952 And I'm totally glad I went... 292 00:20:05,988 --> 00:20:07,954 Yeah, I think they're all camping out in our yard. 293 00:20:07,990 --> 00:20:10,723 Yes, and our backyard is full of day ravers. 294 00:20:10,758 --> 00:20:12,959 You will know them by their trail of glitter. 295 00:20:12,995 --> 00:20:15,094 I just... There's no way those girls 296 00:20:15,129 --> 00:20:16,929 aren't skeeved out by him. 297 00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:21,066 Well, maybe they're not. I once fucked a guy that was 26 years older than me. 298 00:20:21,102 --> 00:20:22,267 - What?! - Wow. 299 00:20:22,303 --> 00:20:23,235 When was this? 300 00:20:23,270 --> 00:20:24,971 It was way before our time. 301 00:20:25,006 --> 00:20:26,372 Don't make it about you. 302 00:20:26,407 --> 00:20:29,108 I used to go to Costco when I was a kid. 303 00:20:29,143 --> 00:20:31,143 You really can't beat the savings. 304 00:20:31,178 --> 00:20:34,279 I mean, they've been selling a hot dog and a fountain soda 305 00:20:34,315 --> 00:20:36,438 for $1.50 since the '80s. Come on! 306 00:20:36,439 --> 00:20:38,028 That's right. Those hot dogs are fucking good. 307 00:20:38,052 --> 00:20:40,152 And they'll let you return anything. 308 00:20:41,155 --> 00:20:42,654 Anything. No questions asked. 309 00:20:42,689 --> 00:20:47,192 I returned an inflatable pool island 310 00:20:47,228 --> 00:20:49,193 that Quinn used for an entire summer, 311 00:20:49,229 --> 00:20:50,829 they still gave me my money back. 312 00:20:50,864 --> 00:20:52,430 - Bullshit. - Cash. 313 00:20:52,465 --> 00:20:53,598 - Cash? - No receipt. 314 00:20:53,634 --> 00:20:56,001 - They're fabulous. - That is incredible. 315 00:20:56,036 --> 00:20:57,969 I just can't give up Costco, man. 316 00:20:58,005 --> 00:20:59,771 I feel so fucking calm in that place. 317 00:20:59,806 --> 00:21:00,772 (laughs) 318 00:21:00,807 --> 00:21:01,806 Wait. How old is he? 319 00:21:01,842 --> 00:21:02,908 - 67. - He's 67. 320 00:21:02,943 --> 00:21:03,842 He's 67? 321 00:21:03,877 --> 00:21:05,587 - Yeah. - I can't even get out of the house. 322 00:21:05,611 --> 00:21:07,011 I mean, I've been trying to see... 323 00:21:07,047 --> 00:21:09,058 I've been trying to take her to see "Hamilton" forever. 324 00:21:09,082 --> 00:21:10,781 Oh, it is so good. 325 00:21:10,816 --> 00:21:11,793 We totally get it though. 326 00:21:11,817 --> 00:21:14,419 We got key lime pie in Red Hook the other day, 327 00:21:14,454 --> 00:21:15,998 - and it was like scaling Mount Everest. - I love that place. 328 00:21:16,022 --> 00:21:19,001 I haven't been there in so long. 329 00:21:19,025 --> 00:21:21,036 - Just getting out of the house. - And I didn't eat anything. 330 00:21:21,060 --> 00:21:23,627 But you know... honey, we should just go for strolls. 331 00:21:23,663 --> 00:21:24,940 - Just go for a walk. - Oh, right. 332 00:21:24,964 --> 00:21:26,096 Are you fucking kidding me? 333 00:21:26,131 --> 00:21:28,176 It'd take two hours to get out the door. 334 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:29,533 - Okay. - Oh, no, no, I'll get it. 335 00:21:29,569 --> 00:21:30,734 I'll get her. 336 00:21:30,770 --> 00:21:32,202 Okay. 337 00:21:32,237 --> 00:21:33,236 Okay. 338 00:21:33,272 --> 00:21:34,371 (sighs) 339 00:21:34,406 --> 00:21:37,441 So, I saw on Instagram, Jane is walking. 340 00:21:37,476 --> 00:21:38,308 - Yeah. - She is. 341 00:21:38,343 --> 00:21:39,983 What are you guys doing with her stroller? 342 00:21:40,011 --> 00:21:42,179 So, what you retired and then you moved to New York? 343 00:21:42,214 --> 00:21:43,913 I don't hear about that very often. 344 00:21:43,949 --> 00:21:46,649 I mean, I used to be a fucking asshole, so... 345 00:21:46,685 --> 00:21:47,951 - Really? - Oh, yeah. 346 00:21:47,986 --> 00:21:53,190 Yeah, I was working my ass off for my entire kids' childhood. 347 00:21:53,225 --> 00:21:55,558 It was like, they were born and I went to work 348 00:21:55,594 --> 00:21:57,760 where I slept and woke up 30 years later. 349 00:21:57,796 --> 00:21:58,695 Just working? 350 00:21:58,730 --> 00:22:01,397 Yeah, I just... selling the company, man. 351 00:22:03,267 --> 00:22:05,969 - Yeah. - And the idea behind this place, 352 00:22:06,004 --> 00:22:07,503 is to expose the grandkids 353 00:22:07,538 --> 00:22:09,639 to a little culture, a little diversity... 354 00:22:09,674 --> 00:22:11,840 - Okay. - ...so they're not so scared growing up 355 00:22:11,875 --> 00:22:13,709 like Quinn and her brother were. 356 00:22:13,744 --> 00:22:15,377 You know, so fucking uptight. 357 00:22:15,413 --> 00:22:18,447 Yeah, her husband's kind of uptight, too. 358 00:22:18,483 --> 00:22:21,850 Oh, God. Did they call you about that tick thing? 359 00:22:21,885 --> 00:22:24,086 - No. - Oh, baby. 360 00:22:24,122 --> 00:22:26,655 They said they were gonna call you. 361 00:22:26,690 --> 00:22:29,057 Well, here's a perfect example. 362 00:22:29,093 --> 00:22:32,861 They got all bent out of shape after you came last time 363 00:22:32,896 --> 00:22:35,631 because apparently you threw away a bottle 364 00:22:35,666 --> 00:22:36,999 they were saving a tick in. 365 00:22:37,034 --> 00:22:42,704 Yes, the tick that bit the baby in Montauk. 366 00:22:42,740 --> 00:22:44,772 What? 367 00:22:44,807 --> 00:22:46,707 I know people drafted into Vietnam 368 00:22:46,743 --> 00:22:49,444 who reacted more calmly than those two about that tick. 369 00:22:49,479 --> 00:22:52,247 That's... terrible. 370 00:22:52,282 --> 00:22:53,914 I took their tick, man. 371 00:22:53,950 --> 00:22:55,150 (laughing) 372 00:22:55,185 --> 00:22:57,852 I've just been watching those two run around like assholes 373 00:22:57,887 --> 00:23:00,021 for the past week talking ticks and Lyme disease, 374 00:23:00,056 --> 00:23:02,156 and I'm just thinking this shit is fucking Cray. 375 00:23:02,191 --> 00:23:04,258 Yeah. That is Cray. 376 00:23:04,293 --> 00:23:05,926 - (phone buzzing) - Wait a minute. 377 00:23:09,032 --> 00:23:10,698 News from the front. 378 00:23:10,733 --> 00:23:12,833 They'll be home in about 15 minutes or so. 379 00:23:12,869 --> 00:23:16,970 So, it seems like we can safely smoke that thing. 380 00:23:17,005 --> 00:23:18,872 All right. That sounds good. 381 00:23:18,907 --> 00:23:20,840 I can put the kettle on and, um... 382 00:23:20,876 --> 00:23:23,076 You want something? Tea, beer? 383 00:23:23,111 --> 00:23:24,444 Beer would be good. 384 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,458 I'll get some of Dean's craft beer, some good shit. 385 00:23:26,482 --> 00:23:28,482 No, I don't want to drink his craft beer. 386 00:23:28,517 --> 00:23:30,717 Oh, I bought it, it's fine. 387 00:23:36,624 --> 00:23:37,924 - Thank you. - Thank you. 388 00:23:37,959 --> 00:23:40,860 Her fingernails were so dirty. 389 00:23:40,896 --> 00:23:42,974 - Did you really not notice that? - Did I notice that 390 00:23:42,998 --> 00:23:45,009 - her fingernails were dirty? No, I did not see that. - Yes. 391 00:23:45,033 --> 00:23:46,532 Oh, my gosh, they were filthy. 392 00:23:46,568 --> 00:23:48,201 I can't believe you didn't notice that. 393 00:23:48,236 --> 00:23:49,935 Well, she's busy. She works in production. 394 00:23:49,970 --> 00:23:51,237 She has like, 15-hour days. 395 00:23:51,272 --> 00:23:52,771 That is a ridiculous excuse. 396 00:23:52,807 --> 00:23:54,840 - Also, she's a lesbian. - Yeah. 397 00:23:54,875 --> 00:23:57,476 So you'd think that would be, like, extra important to her. 398 00:23:57,512 --> 00:24:00,546 - Or to Joan. - Yeah... 399 00:24:00,582 --> 00:24:02,315 And like, I ate her food. 400 00:24:02,350 --> 00:24:04,483 It's not like I think she's a filthy person. 401 00:24:04,519 --> 00:24:07,385 I just would not want to be her sex partner with... 402 00:24:07,421 --> 00:24:09,855 Do you smell that? Is something burning? 403 00:24:09,890 --> 00:24:11,824 - Oh, my God, Dad! - Oh! 404 00:24:11,859 --> 00:24:15,227 Dad! Dad! 405 00:24:15,262 --> 00:24:17,362 Do you see the monitor? Dad! 406 00:24:18,432 --> 00:24:19,698 - Oh, what the... - Shit! 407 00:24:19,734 --> 00:24:23,702 Dad, you put the fucking electric kettle on the stove! 408 00:24:23,737 --> 00:24:25,203 It was burning! 409 00:24:26,740 --> 00:24:29,507 - My God! - Are you seriously holding a joint right now? 410 00:24:29,543 --> 00:24:32,910 Wow. My God, I'm sorry you guys. 411 00:24:32,946 --> 00:24:35,247 Thank goodness you came home when you did, right? Shit. 412 00:24:35,282 --> 00:24:37,360 Yeah, otherwise you would've burned down the whole house. 413 00:24:37,384 --> 00:24:39,784 Well, it's an honest mistake. 414 00:24:39,819 --> 00:24:42,920 I'm used to my stovetop kettle in there, the same shape. 415 00:24:42,956 --> 00:24:44,989 Was it a mistake or are you stoned? 416 00:24:45,024 --> 00:24:49,493 Cookie, I'm sorry. 417 00:24:49,528 --> 00:24:50,995 But I've gotta say, 418 00:24:51,030 --> 00:24:54,398 I think the stimulating conversation's what made me forget about the kettle, 419 00:24:54,433 --> 00:24:55,999 not the grass. 420 00:24:56,034 --> 00:24:58,702 I just took two hits right now. Ask him. 421 00:24:58,738 --> 00:25:01,338 Yeah, I saw him. He only took two hits. 422 00:25:01,374 --> 00:25:03,440 And I heard that I took your tick, 423 00:25:03,476 --> 00:25:05,108 and I feel terrible. 424 00:25:05,144 --> 00:25:07,544 Totally. I hope that you guys... 425 00:25:11,917 --> 00:25:12,749 Have a good night. 426 00:25:12,785 --> 00:25:14,284 Sorry about this. I'm really sorry. 427 00:25:14,319 --> 00:25:16,086 It's cool, man. I'm sure it was an accident. 428 00:25:16,121 --> 00:25:18,989 Dad, do we have to be the only adults in the house? 429 00:25:19,024 --> 00:25:21,236 Are you gonna be our other child that we have to worry about? 430 00:25:21,260 --> 00:25:23,805 Wait a second. Wait a second. Like Dean said to The Guy, it was an accident. 431 00:25:23,829 --> 00:25:27,430 Yeah, well, the weed guy's not helping us raise our child, you are. 432 00:25:27,465 --> 00:25:30,700 And I know you don't have a lot of experience raising children, 433 00:25:30,735 --> 00:25:33,603 but it's more than just showing up and buying things. 434 00:25:33,638 --> 00:25:36,606 You have to actually be present and sober, okay? 435 00:25:36,641 --> 00:25:39,542 Not act like some unemployed 20-year-old raver. 436 00:25:39,577 --> 00:25:40,943 What the fuck, Quinn? 437 00:25:40,978 --> 00:25:42,545 Don't put me on blast like that. 438 00:25:42,580 --> 00:25:43,546 (snickers) 439 00:25:43,581 --> 00:25:46,015 Stop making fun of me! 440 00:25:48,552 --> 00:25:50,419 I'm a person. I'm not just Dad. 441 00:25:50,454 --> 00:25:52,054 I'm a person too, and I have feelings. 442 00:25:52,089 --> 00:25:54,868 Yeah, well, now the house is filled with toxic fumes. 443 00:25:54,892 --> 00:25:57,137 Well, then you can all sleep down here if you like. I don't care. 444 00:25:57,161 --> 00:25:59,295 Sorry. We've had a few too many tonight. 445 00:25:59,330 --> 00:26:00,963 Quinn: I'm not drunk! 446 00:26:19,216 --> 00:26:20,548 (phone dings) 447 00:26:35,264 --> 00:26:36,731 (phone dings) 448 00:26:40,202 --> 00:26:41,668 (chuckles) 449 00:26:41,703 --> 00:26:43,803 Could you turn down the brightness? 450 00:27:18,639 --> 00:27:24,342 (chuckles) 451 00:27:51,838 --> 00:27:53,604 Bye, Felicia. 452 00:27:55,208 --> 00:27:57,908 (chuckles) 453 00:27:59,079 --> 00:28:01,546 Wait, I thought your daughter's name was Quinn? 454 00:28:01,581 --> 00:28:03,347 You don't know "Bye, Felicia"? 455 00:28:03,382 --> 00:28:05,249 No. Who's Felicia? 456 00:28:05,284 --> 00:28:07,084 I don't actually know who she is, 457 00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:10,087 but it's on fleek. 458 00:28:10,122 --> 00:28:11,188 Get ready. 459 00:28:11,223 --> 00:28:12,323 Don't do that. 460 00:28:12,358 --> 00:28:13,524 I'm coming in. 461 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:15,538 - They're right upstair... Don't do that. - I'm coming in. 462 00:28:15,562 --> 00:28:17,428 Get ready. I'm coming in. 463 00:28:17,463 --> 00:28:19,913 You didn't trust me to get 'em up in time. 464 00:28:19,938 --> 00:28:22,499 - Yes, I... Oh! - Oh... 465 00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:24,835 - Whoa. - That was good. 466 00:28:29,741 --> 00:28:32,609 - What if I can't get pregnant again? - What? 467 00:28:32,644 --> 00:28:38,239 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 468 00:28:38,289 --> 00:28:42,839 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35182

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.