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♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪
2
00:00:17.910 --> 00:00:23.150
♪ and I'll bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪
3
00:00:23.180 --> 00:00:26.800
♪ oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪
4
00:00:26.110 --> 00:00:28.880
♪ on the night we kissed
5
00:00:28.910 --> 00:00:34.110
♪ and I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪
6
00:00:34.150 --> 00:00:37.800
♪ what would we do, baby
7
00:00:37.110 --> 00:00:39.850
♪ without us?
8
00:00:39.880 --> 00:00:42.480
♪ what would we do, baby
9
00:00:42.510 --> 00:00:45.110
♪ without us?
10
00:00:45.150 --> 00:00:47.750
♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪
11
00:00:47.780 --> 00:00:49.550
♪ we can't love
each other through ♪
12
00:00:49.580 --> 00:00:51.100
♪ ooh-hoo
13
00:00:51.500 --> 00:00:54.110
♪ what would we do, baby
14
00:00:54.150 --> 00:00:56.750
♪ without us?
15
00:00:56.780 --> 00:01:00.280
♪ sha-la-la-la
16
00:01:04.180 --> 00:01:05.780
This is ridiculous.
17
00:01:05.810 --> 00:01:08.100
Where do they come
up with this stuff?
18
00:01:08.500 --> 00:01:09.850
What's the matter, Alex?
19
00:01:09.880 --> 00:01:13.150
All freshmen are required
to take a Humanities course.
20
00:01:13.180 --> 00:01:14.910
What's so bad about that?
21
00:01:14.950 --> 00:01:16.680
Well, the...
The choices are absurd.
22
00:01:16.720 --> 00:01:19.430
I mean, listen to this one.
Humanities 1:
23
00:01:19.470 --> 00:01:22.100
Man, Society, Civilization,
the Universe.
24
00:01:22.400 --> 00:01:24.550
How am I supposed
to relate to this stuff?
25
00:01:24.580 --> 00:01:26.780
Just don't talk in class
26
00:01:26.820 --> 00:01:29.410
and they'll think
you're one of them.
27
00:01:29.450 --> 00:01:33.450
Jennifer, I'm in college to
learn about money, not people.
28
00:01:33.480 --> 00:01:36.180
Alex, there's more to life
than getting rich.
29
00:01:36.220 --> 00:01:40.650
Jennifer, people who have money
don't need people.
30
00:01:43.180 --> 00:01:44.420
Oh, hey, hey.
31
00:01:44.450 --> 00:01:45.620
Hey, Mallory, uh,
32
00:01:45.650 --> 00:01:48.200
could you possibly
turn that up a little?
33
00:01:48.500 --> 00:01:50.380
I can still hear
planes passing overhead.
34
00:01:50.420 --> 00:01:51.650
Sure.
35
00:01:53.550 --> 00:01:54.880
Hey, Mallory, look,
36
00:01:54.920 --> 00:01:56.520
help me out, will you?
37
00:01:56.550 --> 00:01:59.320
Hey. I'm trying to go over
my college courses here.
38
00:01:59.350 --> 00:02:00.780
You know, college?
39
00:02:00.820 --> 00:02:03.420
You might drive
past one some day.
40
00:02:04.450 --> 00:02:05.580
Stuff it, Alex.
41
00:02:13.490 --> 00:02:14.680
Hey!
42
00:02:14.720 --> 00:02:16.820
Alex!
Alex!
43
00:02:19.220 --> 00:02:20.680
That's the best
that's ever sounded.
44
00:02:20.720 --> 00:02:23.420
You've ruined my...
You're gonna pay for that.
45
00:02:23.450 --> 00:02:26.120
Ah, another day begins
here at Happy Acres.
46
00:02:27.820 --> 00:02:31.200
Ah, ah, ah. I haven't
even had my breakfast yet.
47
00:02:31.500 --> 00:02:33.120
I don't wanna know.
48
00:02:38.390 --> 00:02:39.690
I'm beginning
to get curious.
49
00:02:39.720 --> 00:02:40.750
He put...
50
00:02:42.450 --> 00:02:44.590
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
51
00:02:44.620 --> 00:02:45.750
All right.
Okay, Dad.
52
00:02:45.790 --> 00:02:47.890
Mallory's music
was driving me crazy,
53
00:02:47.920 --> 00:02:49.320
and I overreacted.
54
00:02:49.350 --> 00:02:51.590
I'm a little tense
this morning.
55
00:02:51.620 --> 00:02:53.390
Alex is just
in a bad mood
56
00:02:53.420 --> 00:02:56.290
'cause they want him
to be a human at college.
57
00:02:56.320 --> 00:02:58.910
Jennifer, they don't
want me to be a human.
58
00:02:58.940 --> 00:03:01.490
They want me to take
a Humanities course.
59
00:03:01.520 --> 00:03:03.150
Well, that doesn't
sound so bad.
60
00:03:03.190 --> 00:03:05.690
I don't know. Dad, maybe you
can help me out with this.
61
00:03:05.720 --> 00:03:08.190
You, uh, have a commitment
to social change,
62
00:03:08.220 --> 00:03:10.650
a love
for the humanities.
63
00:03:10.690 --> 00:03:13.160
Oh, look. Some of these courses
look pretty interesting, Alex.
64
00:03:13.190 --> 00:03:14.150
Uh, why not sign up
65
00:03:14.190 --> 00:03:15.890
for Introduction
to Abnormal Behavior?
66
00:03:15.920 --> 00:03:18.890
You could skip
the introduction.
67
00:03:18.930 --> 00:03:21.860
Hey, what about
Psychology 3:
68
00:03:21.890 --> 00:03:23.550
I'm Okay, You're Okay?
69
00:03:23.590 --> 00:03:27.900
First of all,
you're not okay.
70
00:03:27.120 --> 00:03:29.260
And second of all,
this is not a college course,
71
00:03:29.290 --> 00:03:31.760
it's a Phil Donahue show.
72
00:03:31.790 --> 00:03:34.160
Well, okay. Look, how about, uh,
Sociology of the Family,
73
00:03:34.190 --> 00:03:35.890
or, uh, the Hotline?
74
00:03:35.920 --> 00:03:37.610
Hey, look:
Marriage and the Family.
75
00:03:37.640 --> 00:03:39.260
Wait. No, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
76
00:03:39.290 --> 00:03:41.720
Dad, uh, Hotline. What...?
What's that, Hotline?
77
00:03:41.760 --> 00:03:44.160
Uh, "The Hotline,
a phone-in counseling center
78
00:03:44.190 --> 00:03:45.690
"where students
earn credits
79
00:03:45.730 --> 00:03:48.860
"by handling callers'
problems two nights a week.
80
00:03:48.890 --> 00:03:50.840
Satisfies Humanities
requirement. "
81
00:03:50.880 --> 00:03:52.760
Yeah. You know,
this could be perfect.
82
00:03:52.790 --> 00:03:55.960
I can, uh... I can go
to this Hotline twice a week.
83
00:03:55.990 --> 00:03:59.200
I can bring along my books,
catch up on my real courses.
84
00:03:59.600 --> 00:04:01.260
Stuff that has nothing
to do with people.
85
00:04:07.630 --> 00:04:08.920
Watch it, will ya?
86
00:04:08.960 --> 00:04:12.260
Sorry. Next time
I'll signal before I turn.
87
00:04:12.290 --> 00:04:14.280
Jarrett?
Is that you, Jarrett?
88
00:04:14.310 --> 00:04:16.200
Keaton.
What are you doing here?
89
00:04:16.240 --> 00:04:18.900
I go to school here.
What about you?
90
00:04:19.690 --> 00:04:21.130
I go to school here too.
91
00:04:21.160 --> 00:04:22.530
Hey, how did you get in?
92
00:04:22.560 --> 00:04:25.590
I thought they
restricted the dull.
93
00:04:25.630 --> 00:04:27.590
Obviously not.
94
00:04:30.960 --> 00:04:33.260
So, uh, what are you
doing in this place?
95
00:04:33.300 --> 00:04:35.340
I mean, a hotline center's
the last place
96
00:04:35.380 --> 00:04:37.390
I'd figure I'd run into
somebody like you.
97
00:04:37.430 --> 00:04:38.890
Yeah, well, I'm, uh...
98
00:04:38.930 --> 00:04:41.490
I'm here, uh, because I wanna
help, uh, what do you call it?
99
00:04:41.530 --> 00:04:43.300
People.
100
00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:45.380
You're more sensitive
than I thought.
101
00:04:45.410 --> 00:04:47.740
Hey, Jarrett,
did I mention the fact
102
00:04:47.770 --> 00:04:50.750
that I won
the McKinley Scholarship?
103
00:04:50.790 --> 00:04:53.540
Oh, that's not bad.
I won the Steadman.
104
00:04:53.580 --> 00:04:56.260
I could've won
the Steadman if I applied.
105
00:04:56.300 --> 00:04:59.400
I just, uh, figured the McKinley
was a little more prestigious.
106
00:05:02.230 --> 00:05:04.200
Old grudges die hard,
don't they, Keaton?
107
00:05:04.230 --> 00:05:06.100
What are you
talking about, Jarrett?
108
00:05:06.500 --> 00:05:07.760
You still can't get over
my beating you
109
00:05:07.800 --> 00:05:10.900
in the regional spelling bee
in the third grade.
110
00:05:10.930 --> 00:05:12.760
Hey.
Hey, you didn't beat me.
111
00:05:12.800 --> 00:05:16.200
I simply refused
to spell "Democrat. "
112
00:05:19.300 --> 00:05:20.260
Who's next?
113
00:05:20.300 --> 00:05:21.860
BOTH
I am!
114
00:05:21.900 --> 00:05:23.660
Well, it's nice to see
you're both so anxious.
115
00:05:23.700 --> 00:05:25.360
We like people with enthusiasm.
116
00:05:26.400 --> 00:05:27.500
Let's sit down.
117
00:05:29.360 --> 00:05:30.700
I'm Janice Worthy.
118
00:05:30.730 --> 00:05:33.760
I'm James Jarrett,
regional spelling bee champion.
119
00:05:35.330 --> 00:05:38.430
This is Alex Keaton,
came in second.
120
00:05:40.100 --> 00:05:42.730
Ah. Alex, I see
you're an Economics major.
121
00:05:42.770 --> 00:05:44.770
Most of the counselors here
are Psychology majors.
122
00:05:44.800 --> 00:05:45.960
I'm a Psychology major.
123
00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:48.770
I'll get to you
in just a second, James.
124
00:05:48.800 --> 00:05:50.130
Uh, so tell me, Alex,
125
00:05:50.160 --> 00:05:52.570
do you know many emotionally
disturbed people?
126
00:05:52.600 --> 00:05:55.100
Uh... just family.
127
00:05:58.900 --> 00:06:01.730
James, this résumé
is quite impressive:
128
00:06:01.770 --> 00:06:03.130
worked with
abused children,
129
00:06:03.170 --> 00:06:05.270
volunteered
at senior citizens' home,
130
00:06:05.300 --> 00:06:06.700
volunteer
playground director...
131
00:06:06.730 --> 00:06:09.300
What'd you do in your
spare time, train guide dogs?
132
00:06:09.340 --> 00:06:10.770
...worked with guide dogs.
133
00:06:13.470 --> 00:06:15.430
Very admirable, James.
134
00:06:15.470 --> 00:06:17.370
Yeah. He's a saint.
135
00:06:17.400 --> 00:06:19.630
Let me explain
how we work around here.
136
00:06:19.670 --> 00:06:23.200
The Hotline is a 24-hour service
for Leland students
137
00:06:23.240 --> 00:06:24.570
with personal
problems.
138
00:06:24.600 --> 00:06:28.280
Uh, yeah. It's a... It's a
terrific community service.
139
00:06:28.320 --> 00:06:31.970
And it also satisfies the
Humanities requirement, right?
140
00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:32.930
That's right.
141
00:06:32.970 --> 00:06:35.700
Great. I'm ready.
When do I start?
142
00:06:35.100 --> 00:06:37.470
Your training program
will start tomorrow.
143
00:06:37.500 --> 00:06:39.840
As you become more
comfortable with the job,
144
00:06:39.870 --> 00:06:41.630
we'll give you more
responsibilities.
145
00:06:41.670 --> 00:06:43.840
You won't actually
be on the phone unsupervised
146
00:06:43.870 --> 00:06:44.770
for several weeks.
147
00:06:45.700 --> 00:06:48.220
But we'll still get credit?
148
00:06:48.250 --> 00:06:50.460
Yes, Alex.
You'll get credit.
149
00:06:50.500 --> 00:06:52.520
Oh, there's one more thing.
150
00:06:52.550 --> 00:06:54.500
Trainees work in pairs.
151
00:06:54.540 --> 00:06:56.340
You two will work as a team.
152
00:06:58.440 --> 00:06:59.640
Us?
153
00:06:59.670 --> 00:07:01.940
Yes. Any objections?
154
00:07:03.340 --> 00:07:05.640
No.
No.
155
00:07:05.670 --> 00:07:08.270
BOTH I should be able to pull him through.
156
00:07:09.670 --> 00:07:12.170
Okay, Jennifer.
Ask me another question.
157
00:07:12.210 --> 00:07:14.670
What do you say
to someone who calls
158
00:07:14.710 --> 00:07:17.370
with severe
personal problems?
159
00:07:17.410 --> 00:07:20.000
I told you
never to call me here.
160
00:07:20.400 --> 00:07:22.000
No. It says,
"Speak in a soothing voice,
161
00:07:22.400 --> 00:07:23.970
and try to keep
the caller on the line. "
162
00:07:24.100 --> 00:07:25.470
I was so close.
163
00:07:26.840 --> 00:07:29.840
Why don't you try
a few, uh, practice calls, Alex.
164
00:07:29.870 --> 00:07:31.340
You know, to help you
get the feel of it?
165
00:07:31.370 --> 00:07:32.770
That's a good idea, Dad.
166
00:07:32.810 --> 00:07:34.810
Uh, Mallory, you've logged
more phone hours
167
00:07:34.840 --> 00:07:37.310
than anyone else
in the family.
168
00:07:37.340 --> 00:07:39.500
Anyone else in the world.
169
00:07:39.540 --> 00:07:41.410
Why don't you, uh,
give me a practice ring?
170
00:07:41.440 --> 00:07:42.410
Oh, okay.
171
00:07:48.710 --> 00:07:49.910
It's ringing.
172
00:07:54.510 --> 00:07:56.140
Hello, Hotline.
173
00:07:56.170 --> 00:07:57.970
Why are you bugging me?
174
00:08:00.810 --> 00:08:02.700
I got a problem.
175
00:08:02.110 --> 00:08:03.410
Let me guess.
It's a boy.
176
00:08:03.440 --> 00:08:05.640
Right.
Let me guess.
177
00:08:05.670 --> 00:08:08.220
Uh, you like him,
he doesn't like you.
178
00:08:08.260 --> 00:08:10.770
No. I don't like him,
he doesn't like me.
179
00:08:10.810 --> 00:08:13.110
Then what's the problem?
180
00:08:13.140 --> 00:08:15.410
He's my brother.
181
00:08:17.240 --> 00:08:19.310
Sorry, your time is up.
182
00:08:21.840 --> 00:08:23.410
Whoa, that's James.
I gotta go.
183
00:08:23.440 --> 00:08:24.940
Wait a minute, Alex.
184
00:08:24.980 --> 00:08:26.740
It says that you shouldn't use
your real name,
185
00:08:26.780 --> 00:08:27.780
you should have a code name.
186
00:08:27.810 --> 00:08:29.510
Ah, good point.
187
00:08:29.540 --> 00:08:31.510
I wouldn't want any
of these crazed losers
188
00:08:31.540 --> 00:08:33.780
calling me at home.
189
00:08:35.440 --> 00:08:38.340
Thank you, Mother Teresa.
190
00:08:38.380 --> 00:08:41.910
Okay, well, it says here
to pick a name that's positive,
191
00:08:41.940 --> 00:08:43.610
something like Faith,
Hope, or Charity,
192
00:08:43.640 --> 00:08:46.680
but something that accurately
reflects your personality.
193
00:08:46.710 --> 00:08:48.780
How about Greed?
194
00:08:51.510 --> 00:08:53.440
Nah. It's probably taken.
195
00:08:55.100 --> 00:08:56.510
Ah, hi, Mrs. Worthy.
Hi.
196
00:08:56.550 --> 00:08:57.790
Sorry we're late.
197
00:08:57.830 --> 00:08:59.250
It was James' fault.
198
00:08:59.290 --> 00:09:00.640
Oh, thanks,
teammate.
199
00:09:00.680 --> 00:09:02.850
Anyway, we're here, ready to go.
Where is everybody?
200
00:09:02.880 --> 00:09:04.310
We're really
understaffed tonight.
201
00:09:04.350 --> 00:09:05.750
Allison and Peter
have the flu,
202
00:09:05.780 --> 00:09:06.980
Robert has a midterm
203
00:09:07.100 --> 00:09:08.950
and I was supposed
to be out of here an hour ago.
204
00:09:08.980 --> 00:09:11.210
Oh, gee, uh, that's...
That's too bad.
205
00:09:11.240 --> 00:09:14.240
I guess that means you're gonna
have to close down tonight, huh?
206
00:09:14.280 --> 00:09:17.580
We'll still get credit
for showing up though, right?
207
00:09:17.610 --> 00:09:19.280
We're not gonna have to close.
208
00:09:19.310 --> 00:09:21.410
Tim will be here any minute
for your training session.
209
00:09:21.450 --> 00:09:23.130
Oh, great.
Tim's good.
210
00:09:23.160 --> 00:09:25.460
Yeah, great.
I love Tim.
211
00:09:25.490 --> 00:09:27.710
He makes us work hard.
212
00:09:27.750 --> 00:09:29.250
All right, boys,
see you tomorrow.
213
00:09:29.280 --> 00:09:32.100
Good night.
214
00:09:32.500 --> 00:09:34.100
Well, I don't know
about you,
215
00:09:34.130 --> 00:09:36.110
but I'm gonna get
some work done.
216
00:09:36.150 --> 00:09:38.750
Listen, Alex, I'm gonna
run up to the snack bar.
217
00:09:38.780 --> 00:09:39.850
Can I get you anything?
218
00:09:39.880 --> 00:09:41.800
No. I'm fine.
219
00:09:41.110 --> 00:09:42.630
Hey, all right, man.
I was buying.
220
00:09:42.660 --> 00:09:44.150
Bring me back
one of everything.
221
00:09:46.450 --> 00:09:48.610
Okay. Ahhh.
222
00:09:51.610 --> 00:09:53.180
All right.
223
00:10:04.720 --> 00:10:06.410
Yeah. Uh, Hotline.
224
00:10:06.450 --> 00:10:08.330
MAN
Hi, Alex. It's me. Tim.
225
00:10:08.370 --> 00:10:10.180
Yeah. Hi, Tim.
How you doing?
226
00:10:10.220 --> 00:10:12.500
Why didn't you use
your code name?
227
00:10:12.800 --> 00:10:14.100
Uh, sorry. I forgot.
228
00:10:14.500 --> 00:10:15.550
Don't let it happen again.
229
00:10:15.580 --> 00:10:17.100
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
230
00:10:17.500 --> 00:10:19.550
Uh, Tim, is that
the only reason you called?
231
00:10:19.580 --> 00:10:21.550
No. My car broke down.
232
00:10:21.580 --> 00:10:23.850
It'll be at least
an hour before they fix it.
233
00:10:23.890 --> 00:10:25.310
Just close up and go home.
234
00:10:25.350 --> 00:10:26.780
We'll make up
the session tomorrow.
235
00:10:26.820 --> 00:10:27.880
Okay, great.
236
00:10:27.920 --> 00:10:30.800
Uh, oh, Tim,
uh, one more thing...
237
00:10:30.120 --> 00:10:33.850
Yes, Alex. You'll
get credit for showing up.
238
00:10:33.890 --> 00:10:35.320
Okay. Bye-bye.
239
00:10:52.420 --> 00:10:54.650
Yeah, Gandhi speaking.
240
00:10:58.150 --> 00:10:59.850
MAN
Gandhi?
241
00:10:59.890 --> 00:11:01.520
Yeah, Gandhi.
242
00:11:01.550 --> 00:11:05.500
Oh, I must have the wrong
number. I-I wanted the Hotline.
243
00:11:05.900 --> 00:11:06.770
No, no, no, no.
Don't hang up.
244
00:11:06.800 --> 00:11:08.420
Hold on.
This is the Hotline.
245
00:11:08.450 --> 00:11:12.320
I just, uh,
call myself Gandhi because,
246
00:11:12.350 --> 00:11:14.200
uh, it's a code name.
247
00:11:14.500 --> 00:11:16.740
All right?
Uh, what's your problem?
248
00:11:16.770 --> 00:11:19.420
Well, uh, my...
My name is Bill.
249
00:11:19.450 --> 00:11:21.550
Uh, just plain Bill.
250
00:11:21.590 --> 00:11:22.550
And, uh, I...
251
00:11:22.590 --> 00:11:24.890
Come on, come on.
252
00:11:24.920 --> 00:11:26.500
I need some help here.
253
00:11:26.900 --> 00:11:28.190
I... I think...
254
00:11:28.220 --> 00:11:30.320
I think I'm gonna kill myself.
255
00:11:34.500 --> 00:11:36.650
James, it's for you!
256
00:11:41.900 --> 00:11:42.150
Coca-Cola!
257
00:11:42.190 --> 00:11:45.570
James, you're back.
Thank God!
258
00:11:45.610 --> 00:11:48.960
You must have been
very thirsty.
259
00:11:48.990 --> 00:11:50.920
A guy called
260
00:11:50.960 --> 00:11:52.920
who wants to kill himself.
261
00:11:52.960 --> 00:11:55.820
Okay, okay, take it easy.
What did you tell him?
262
00:11:56.820 --> 00:11:59.200
I put him on hold.
263
00:11:59.600 --> 00:12:01.490
You what?!
264
00:12:04.220 --> 00:12:07.320
Hello. Thank you
for calling the Hotline.
265
00:12:12.220 --> 00:12:14.200
Are you there?
266
00:12:14.600 --> 00:12:15.590
Yeah, I'm here. Who are you?
267
00:12:15.630 --> 00:12:18.260
This is Gidget.
268
00:12:20.460 --> 00:12:21.710
Gidget?
269
00:12:21.740 --> 00:12:22.920
Yeah.
270
00:12:22.960 --> 00:12:25.490
That doesn't exactly
inspire confidence.
271
00:12:25.530 --> 00:12:28.200
Where's the other guy?
Where's Gandhi?
272
00:12:28.600 --> 00:12:29.390
Uh...
273
00:12:32.200 --> 00:12:33.390
I'm here too, Bill.
274
00:12:33.420 --> 00:12:36.220
We're both here,
Gidget and... Gandhi.
275
00:12:37.760 --> 00:12:39.340
All right,
let's try to be calm.
276
00:12:39.380 --> 00:12:40.930
Let's just
try to be rational.
277
00:12:40.960 --> 00:12:43.760
Um... what's the problem?
278
00:12:43.790 --> 00:12:46.600
Well, I've been doing
a lot of thinking
279
00:12:46.900 --> 00:12:47.560
about my life, you know?
280
00:12:47.590 --> 00:12:50.260
How's it going?
281
00:12:51.790 --> 00:12:54.600
I've been better.
282
00:12:54.900 --> 00:12:56.390
You know,
I- I-I spent all last week
283
00:12:56.430 --> 00:12:58.760
trying to come up with just
one good reason to live,
284
00:12:58.800 --> 00:13:00.200
and I couldn't do it.
285
00:13:00.600 --> 00:13:02.290
All right. Okay.
Ah, well, let's...
286
00:13:02.330 --> 00:13:04.600
Let's just, uh...
287
00:13:04.900 --> 00:13:06.560
Let's think of the things
that make us happy.
288
00:13:06.590 --> 00:13:08.460
Okay? Uh, uh, books.
289
00:13:08.490 --> 00:13:11.830
Uh, uh, plays.
Uh, music.
290
00:13:11.860 --> 00:13:13.390
Uh, movies. Movies.
291
00:13:13.430 --> 00:13:16.130
There's... There's
a great James Bond festival
292
00:13:16.160 --> 00:13:17.330
over at the North Town.
293
00:13:17.360 --> 00:13:18.490
Oh, yeah?
What's playing?
294
00:13:18.530 --> 00:13:21.460
Uh, Live and Let Die.
295
00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:29.130
Nice going, Alex.
296
00:13:29.160 --> 00:13:30.600
Hey, you think
you could do better?
297
00:13:30.630 --> 00:13:32.230
Yeah, I do. Let me talk.
298
00:13:32.260 --> 00:13:34.130
Hey, no, wait a minute.
I... I answered the phone.
299
00:13:34.160 --> 00:13:35.650
Guys, what's going on?
I'll talk!
300
00:13:35.680 --> 00:13:37.130
Give me that.
No, no. Hey, Jarrett!
301
00:13:37.160 --> 00:13:39.760
Hey...!
302
00:13:46.600 --> 00:13:47.530
Well, it's been 15 minutes.
303
00:13:47.560 --> 00:13:49.630
He hasn't called.
304
00:13:49.660 --> 00:13:51.200
What could he be doing?
305
00:13:51.230 --> 00:13:53.160
Don't answer that.
306
00:13:53.200 --> 00:13:55.530
All right, let's just
review the conversation,
307
00:13:55.560 --> 00:13:57.730
and we'll try and we'll
figure out out what went wrong.
308
00:13:57.770 --> 00:14:00.650
Right. Okay.
309
00:14:00.680 --> 00:14:03.500
Uh, he called.
310
00:14:03.530 --> 00:14:05.900
He said he wanted
to kill himself.
311
00:14:05.930 --> 00:14:08.130
I put him on hold.
312
00:14:10.260 --> 00:14:14.000
We suggested he go
to a James Bond movie,
313
00:14:14.300 --> 00:14:16.560
and then we hung up on him.
314
00:14:24.870 --> 00:14:27.200
Uh, yeah. Hotline.
315
00:14:27.230 --> 00:14:28.860
Is that how you help?
316
00:14:28.900 --> 00:14:32.500
A guy says he's gonna kill
himselfand you hang up on him?
317
00:14:32.530 --> 00:14:34.960
Bill. Bill,
you're back.
318
00:14:35.000 --> 00:14:37.300
Bill, we're sorry.
It was an accident.
319
00:14:37.700 --> 00:14:38.830
Now,
are you feeling any better?
320
00:14:38.870 --> 00:14:42.260
No. Worse.
321
00:14:42.300 --> 00:14:43.850
Alex, use the manual.
322
00:14:43.880 --> 00:14:45.370
Manual.
Uh, yeah.
323
00:14:45.400 --> 00:14:48.730
Uh... Uh, you know, Bill...
324
00:14:48.770 --> 00:14:51.260
Uh, now, this is, uh,
325
00:14:51.300 --> 00:14:53.770
just off the top
of my head,
326
00:14:53.800 --> 00:14:56.200
but I was thinking, um...
327
00:14:56.230 --> 00:14:58.970
"Life can be
a wonderful and splendid...
328
00:14:59.000 --> 00:15:01.370
...uh, thing. "
329
00:15:01.400 --> 00:15:04.300
Hey, are you reading this
out of a book?
330
00:15:04.340 --> 00:15:06.870
No.
331
00:15:06.900 --> 00:15:09.900
No. No.
Uh, don't be silly, Bill.
332
00:15:09.940 --> 00:15:11.770
I'm just winging this.
333
00:15:11.800 --> 00:15:15.200
Uh...
"Let's reflect for a moment
334
00:15:15.230 --> 00:15:18.370
"on all the positive aspects
in one's life.
335
00:15:18.400 --> 00:15:20.270
"We can do that, can't we?
336
00:15:20.300 --> 00:15:22.100
Insert name. "
337
00:15:22.140 --> 00:15:25.900
You...! You are
reading this out of a book!
338
00:15:27.300 --> 00:15:29.670
I'm a person,
not a hypothetical case!
339
00:15:29.700 --> 00:15:32.000
If you keep reading that book,
I'm hanging up.
340
00:15:32.400 --> 00:15:34.940
Look, Bill,
give me a break, okay?
341
00:15:34.970 --> 00:15:37.100
I'm new at this.
I don't know what to say.
342
00:15:37.140 --> 00:15:38.400
Yeah, well,
I'm new at this too,
343
00:15:38.440 --> 00:15:40.500
but you don't see me
reading out of a book.
344
00:15:45.600 --> 00:15:47.840
Listen, uh, Bill,
345
00:15:47.870 --> 00:15:49.940
uh, can you hold for a second?
346
00:15:49.970 --> 00:15:52.370
Oh, great.
347
00:15:52.400 --> 00:15:55.670
No. No, I promise you
I won't hang up.
348
00:15:55.700 --> 00:15:58.300
Okay, but hurry up.
I don't have all night.
349
00:16:02.570 --> 00:16:03.740
What are we gonna do?
350
00:16:03.770 --> 00:16:06.100
He, uh...
He won't let us use the manual.
351
00:16:07.340 --> 00:16:08.670
Well...
352
00:16:10.410 --> 00:16:12.300
Well, we'll just
have to be ourselves.
353
00:16:14.810 --> 00:16:18.740
And, uh,
then, Bill... Ahem.
354
00:16:18.770 --> 00:16:24.370
...in, uh, 1978,
I entered junior high school.
355
00:16:24.410 --> 00:16:28.340
I had to take a school bus
for the very first time.
356
00:16:28.370 --> 00:16:31.310
Of course,
it didn't faze me.
357
00:16:31.340 --> 00:16:32.640
Uh, Bill?
358
00:16:32.670 --> 00:16:34.920
Uh, you still there?
359
00:16:34.960 --> 00:16:37.140
Yeah, I'm still here.
360
00:16:37.170 --> 00:16:39.470
I'm bored,
but I'm still here.
361
00:16:43.370 --> 00:16:45.710
Me too.
362
00:16:45.740 --> 00:16:47.620
Guys, I appreciate
what you're doing,
363
00:16:47.660 --> 00:16:49.510
but, you know,
you're wasting your time.
364
00:16:49.540 --> 00:16:50.710
Nobody cares about me.
365
00:16:50.740 --> 00:16:53.410
Hey, we do.
366
00:16:53.440 --> 00:16:55.400
And... And we're
gonna stay on this phone
367
00:16:55.800 --> 00:16:57.400
as long as
you want us to.
368
00:16:57.700 --> 00:16:59.540
Come on, you're just two guys
who work at the Hotline
369
00:16:59.580 --> 00:17:02.140
and happened to show up
on the wrong night,
370
00:17:02.180 --> 00:17:05.140
and I don't even
know your real names.
371
00:17:09.680 --> 00:17:12.800
Alex Keaton.
372
00:17:12.110 --> 00:17:14.440
James Jarrett.
373
00:17:14.480 --> 00:17:16.910
I didn't...
I didn't think you'd tell me.
374
00:17:16.940 --> 00:17:18.930
Isn't that
against the rules?
375
00:17:18.960 --> 00:17:20.870
Hey, Bill,
at a time like this,
376
00:17:20.910 --> 00:17:22.410
everything just
goes out the window.
377
00:17:22.450 --> 00:17:25.140
Let me rephrase that.
378
00:17:29.410 --> 00:17:30.510
Look, I...
379
00:17:30.540 --> 00:17:32.310
Look, I know you guys
are really trying,
380
00:17:32.340 --> 00:17:35.510
but you still haven't told me
why I should keep living.
381
00:17:36.710 --> 00:17:38.230
Think of the good things.
382
00:17:38.260 --> 00:17:39.920
Think of falling snow,
383
00:17:39.950 --> 00:17:41.540
think of falling in love.
384
00:17:41.580 --> 00:17:45.800
I know. "Every cloud
has a silver lining. "
385
00:17:45.110 --> 00:17:47.380
Uh-uh, no.
Silver's down this week.
386
00:17:47.410 --> 00:17:50.880
Say... Say, "Every cloud
has a zinc lining. "
387
00:17:52.740 --> 00:17:55.810
Hey, see that, man?
You're laughing.
388
00:17:55.850 --> 00:17:58.180
I tell you, people who have
really given up on life,
389
00:17:58.210 --> 00:17:59.640
they can't laugh.
390
00:17:59.680 --> 00:18:01.280
That wasn't a laugh.
That was a chuckle.
391
00:18:01.310 --> 00:18:02.510
Oh, come on, come on.
392
00:18:02.550 --> 00:18:04.850
That was a laugh.
I know a laugh when I hear one,
393
00:18:04.880 --> 00:18:06.100
and you laughed.
394
00:18:06.500 --> 00:18:09.210
All right,
I laughed. Sue me.
395
00:18:10.380 --> 00:18:12.550
Come on.
Bill, if you're laughing,
396
00:18:12.580 --> 00:18:13.510
you must be smiling.
397
00:18:13.550 --> 00:18:14.810
And... And if
you're smiling,
398
00:18:14.850 --> 00:18:16.210
you must be
starting to feel good.
399
00:18:16.250 --> 00:18:17.580
And you cannot
kill yourself
400
00:18:17.620 --> 00:18:19.330
when you're
feeling good.
401
00:18:19.370 --> 00:18:21.500
It... It spoils the mood.
402
00:18:22.350 --> 00:18:24.310
Look, I know you guys
are really trying,
403
00:18:24.350 --> 00:18:26.150
you know,
but it's no use.
404
00:18:26.180 --> 00:18:29.710
I just... I hate life.
I hate feeling empty every day.
405
00:18:29.750 --> 00:18:32.380
I... I hate feeling sorry
for myself. I...
406
00:18:34.280 --> 00:18:37.800
What? What is it?
407
00:18:38.500 --> 00:18:39.580
I'm scared.
408
00:18:39.610 --> 00:18:42.680
Bill, everybody
gets scared.
409
00:18:42.720 --> 00:18:43.880
Do you?
410
00:18:46.500 --> 00:18:48.350
Uh, yeah. Pfff. Sure.
411
00:18:48.380 --> 00:18:49.450
When?
412
00:18:50.650 --> 00:18:52.250
Hey, look,
I thought we were supposed
413
00:18:52.280 --> 00:18:54.500
to be talking about you,
not me.
414
00:18:54.800 --> 00:18:56.850
Oh, I get it. I have
to answer your questions,
415
00:18:56.880 --> 00:18:58.180
but you won't
answer mine.
416
00:18:58.220 --> 00:18:59.750
No, it... It's...
417
00:19:01.280 --> 00:19:03.820
It's just that
it's not easy...
418
00:19:03.850 --> 00:19:05.920
for me.
419
00:19:07.800 --> 00:19:10.350
Yeah. Yeah, I do.
I get scared.
420
00:19:10.380 --> 00:19:12.680
When?
421
00:19:17.950 --> 00:19:20.000
Uh, mostly at night.
422
00:19:20.400 --> 00:19:22.200
You know, when the...
423
00:19:22.500 --> 00:19:25.350
When the house is real quiet.
424
00:19:25.380 --> 00:19:28.180
And I start
thinking about my future.
425
00:19:29.720 --> 00:19:32.570
I, uh...
I do. I get scared.
426
00:19:32.600 --> 00:19:35.380
Why should that scare you?
427
00:19:35.420 --> 00:19:38.250
You told me you've always
succeeded in everything.
428
00:19:38.290 --> 00:19:40.720
I have.
429
00:19:40.750 --> 00:19:43.520
And, uh, that's why
I get scared.
430
00:19:43.550 --> 00:19:46.620
You know, because
I'm afraid I might fail.
431
00:19:47.790 --> 00:19:48.750
And, uh...
432
00:19:48.790 --> 00:19:51.750
And, if I fail,
433
00:19:51.790 --> 00:19:54.290
I don't know
how I'd handle it.
434
00:19:54.320 --> 00:19:56.750
So I can't
let myself fail.
435
00:19:56.790 --> 00:20:01.150
I keep pushing myself
to do better and better,
436
00:20:01.190 --> 00:20:03.650
and I keep trying
harder and harder.
437
00:20:03.690 --> 00:20:06.120
And I'm afraid
that if I stop...
438
00:20:06.150 --> 00:20:08.500
Uh, I'm sorry.
439
00:20:08.900 --> 00:20:10.850
No, no, go on. What...?
What are you afraid of?
440
00:20:15.750 --> 00:20:20.550
I'm, uh, afraid that
if I slow down
441
00:20:20.590 --> 00:20:24.550
and, uh,
I stop being the best
442
00:20:24.590 --> 00:20:26.190
and the brightest,
443
00:20:26.220 --> 00:20:30.760
and, uh,
the wittiest that, uh...
444
00:20:30.790 --> 00:20:32.650
I'll be nothing.
445
00:20:32.690 --> 00:20:36.900
Wow. That's exactly
how I feel sometimes.
446
00:20:36.120 --> 00:20:38.900
Like... Like I'm nothing.
447
00:20:38.120 --> 00:20:40.420
Well, we all feel
that way sometimes,
448
00:20:40.460 --> 00:20:41.420
but we ride it out.
449
00:20:41.460 --> 00:20:42.490
We work at it.
450
00:20:42.520 --> 00:20:44.450
We fight the bad feelings.
451
00:20:44.490 --> 00:20:47.460
Look, Bill,
you called here, right?
452
00:20:47.490 --> 00:20:49.340
I mean, you reached out.
453
00:20:49.380 --> 00:20:51.150
You don't wanna die,
454
00:20:51.190 --> 00:20:53.990
and we don't
want you to die.
455
00:20:54.200 --> 00:20:58.200
Do you really think every, uh,
cloud has a zinc lining? Ha.
456
00:20:58.600 --> 00:21:00.260
Absolutely.
457
00:21:01.760 --> 00:21:03.290
I'm gonna hang up now.
458
00:21:03.320 --> 00:21:06.860
Uh, what do you...?
What do you mean, Bill?
459
00:21:06.890 --> 00:21:09.720
I mean, I...
I wanna hang up,
460
00:21:09.760 --> 00:21:12.620
so I can get some sleep.
You know, then I can be fresh,
461
00:21:12.660 --> 00:21:13.990
and think this through,
462
00:21:14.200 --> 00:21:16.790
and find another way
to deal with it tomorrow.
463
00:21:18.300 --> 00:21:19.890
Tomorrow.
464
00:21:19.930 --> 00:21:22.690
Did you, uh...?
Did you say tomorrow?
465
00:21:22.730 --> 00:21:24.790
Yeah.
466
00:21:26.260 --> 00:21:29.160
Did you, uh...?
Did you hear that, James?
467
00:21:29.190 --> 00:21:31.260
I heard him.
468
00:21:31.290 --> 00:21:33.460
We were afraid
we goofed up, you know?
469
00:21:33.490 --> 00:21:36.330
Because we're new and, uh,
we're so unsure of ourselves.
470
00:21:36.360 --> 00:21:38.140
I kind of liked that.
471
00:21:38.180 --> 00:21:39.930
It made me feel superior.
472
00:21:44.660 --> 00:21:47.360
You guys were good, though.
Darn good.
473
00:21:47.390 --> 00:21:49.560
Well, thanks.
474
00:21:49.590 --> 00:21:52.330
Uh, but as good as we are,
475
00:21:52.360 --> 00:21:56.900
there are... There are
people who are better.
476
00:21:56.130 --> 00:21:58.590
You have to get
some professional help.
477
00:21:58.630 --> 00:22:00.330
I know.
478
00:22:00.360 --> 00:22:01.990
I will.
479
00:22:02.300 --> 00:22:04.330
But it's gonna be hard
480
00:22:04.360 --> 00:22:07.600
to find somebody better
than Gandhi and Gidget.
481
00:22:09.290 --> 00:22:11.330
Thanks, guys.
482
00:22:41.600 --> 00:22:43.430
Nice going, Keaton.
483
00:22:44.860 --> 00:22:46.730
You're really something,
man.
484
00:22:46.760 --> 00:22:48.600
You weren't so bad yourself.
485
00:22:55.860 --> 00:22:58.400
You know, listen, uh,
486
00:22:58.430 --> 00:23:01.100
about that stuff
that I said, you know,
487
00:23:01.500 --> 00:23:03.600
about being scared
and all of that.
488
00:23:05.730 --> 00:23:06.800
Yeah?
489
00:23:06.830 --> 00:23:09.370
Well, you know
that I was just, uh,
490
00:23:09.400 --> 00:23:10.600
saying that.
491
00:23:10.630 --> 00:23:12.160
Oh, yeah.
I know.
492
00:23:12.200 --> 00:23:15.230
I know
you don't get scared.
493
00:23:15.270 --> 00:23:17.770
Uh, James, can you
keep the lights on?
32347
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