All language subtitles for Donny s01e06 Boom Boom Abs.eng

[upbeat music]

More abs! More abs!

- Come on!
- This guy is killing me.

Knees high! Knees high!

- Knees high!
- All right, man. I'm with you.

Knees high! Get those lower abdominals,

- upper abdominals.
- He's a maniac.

- Awesome!
- Don't do this at home.

Donny, I call this Boom Boom Abs, baby.

Boom, boom, pow! You feel that?

We're all feeling that.

- Boom, boom, pow.
- all: Boom, boom, pow.

Hey, take 30 seconds, all right?

- Thanks.
- Take 30 seconds out.

- Oh, man.
- Breathe out.

Banter time. Ask him if he's single...

- This guy is killing me.
- For me.

If you see this guy,
run the other direction.

[laughter]

Look, Donny, you do Boom
Boom Abs every day for 10 weeks,

I guarantee you'll have
a body just like mine.

Let me see those abs.

- Pow!
- Oh, my Lord.

I guarantee you'll get
these, Donny, guarantee.

- Let's get a close-up on...
- Guarantee!

Okay, man, I could do abs
ten hours a day for ten years,

and my abs are never gonna look like that.

- Yeah, they will.
- No. The most ripped white guy,

his abs are never gonna look as ripped

as most ripped black guys.

White abs, black abs. It's
just they're more ripped.

- They look more ripped.
- [solo applause]

- You just said black abs?
- Pretend you said black labs.

Yeah. White abs, black abs.
It's all the same thing.

- Okay, yeah.
- Just you look more ripped.

It's a visual. You look more ripped

with the black abs.

It is what it is, man.

It's a compliment. I was
complimenting your abs.

And I was saying they look great.

They're black, and they're ripped.

Look at those ripped black abs.

Stop talking.

- That's a little racist.
- all: Ooh.

What? You don't think so?

Do you have to call me racist
on... on national television?

You know, Tyrell and
I have known each other

a long time, man.

I gotta... I'm still tired.

And, you know, we talking about race,

he just... he maybe took that as racist.

He knows I'm the least
racist guy in America.

I got, like, a ton of black friends.

- [all groaning]
- Okay.

I got a ton of white
friends, ton of black friends,

ton of purple friends,
ton of green friends,

and... and so, let's
keep working out, man.

All right? Let's go. More Boom Boom Abs.

We're gonna take a break.

I want to thank my good friend Tyrell

for Boom Boom Abs.
Let's hear it for Tyrell.

Okay, the new juice craze.
It's not kale or spinach.

It's apple juice, when we come back.

Boom, boom, boom.

Smile. A big, fat,

"I didn't just say something
really racist" smile.

[upbeat music]

Synced and corrected by Octavia
- www.addic7ed.com -

So you said black abs
and you have black friends.

Both. On TV.

Yeah. I know, it was stupid.

I-I hurt Tyrell's feelings.

I'm getting killed on black Twitter.

You committed, like,
the Black Friends Sin.

That's the worst thing you can do, man.

I do have black friends, though.

- I was trying...
- Oh, don't say that.

- But I got...
- That's like the bigot

national anthem. Come
on, you're the liberal.

You're supposed to know better than this.

To say we're color-blind

is like missing the whole point.

We're all equal, but we're different.

- It's okay to say that.
- Okay.

And it's okay to say positive.

This guy's abs were,
like, beautifully ripped.

Viva la difference, man. I-I mean,

there's so many racial problems
in this country right now

- that you can't say anything.
- Donny.

That's maybe the
problem. You can't even say

- the positive differences.
- Nobody likes labels.

Donny, get down here.

-
Boom, boom, pow

-
We're gonna rip black abs

I told you. The Black Friend Sin.

3.2 million views and counting.

Who at the internet is
in charge of doing this?

A genius.

How come no one cares
about the Indian people?

See, you're my only Indian friend,

so I would never say, "I
have a ton of Indian friends."

You're my only old,
rich, white man friend.

Racist or not, we
have a huge problem here.

Okay, I know you guys in HR.

This is your job to be concerned,

but we don't have a problem here.

I said I have black
friends, and guess what?

I have black friends.
You know what you also said?

You said that Tyrell
Watson has black abs, so...

Okay, Tyrell Watson is black,
and he does have black abs.

And basically I was
giving him a compliment.

Are you doubling down on this?

- Is that what we're doing?
- No, it's just a compliment.

Why can we acknowledge
that people are different?

Not better, not worse, and
always look for the positive?

For instance, where'd you go to school?

- Donny...
- No, no, no.

- Where'd you go to school?
- Don't.

Rutgers.

Okay. If you had said
Yale, I would have went,

"Yes, of course. I mean, that makes sense.

- Asians are great students."
- That's a stereotype.

A complimentary stereotype.

Jewish guys, we make a lotta money.

- Not such a bad thing.
- I'm Jewish,

and that's offensive to me.

You're not getting this. Okay,

if I said Jewish people are cheap,

that's a negative stereotype.

Does your brain just work like this?

- Why ca...
- Does this just come out automatically?

- Sorry.
- Yeah.

Why can't we celebrate
the differences, okay?

Women, as a group, have
better intuition than men.

- That'll be the next meeting.
- Okay.

Can we just stick to racism today?

I am, like, the least
racist guy on the planet.

I look for the positive in everybody.

You're a positive racist.

Look, guys, I am really
upset with Donny as well,

but honestly, it's not
that he's really a racist,

it's more that he's an
equal opportunity idiot

with boundary issues.

Think of it more like racial Tourette's.

Mr. Deutsch, you clearly need some help.

What we need you to do
is to bring in a publicist

who specializes in crisis management.

This is hardly a racial crisis.

Have you read the news lately?

The difference is nobody knows

how to solve those

This? A white guy on TV
who is racially insensitive?

There is a very easy way to
make this problem go away.

And what is that?

That's code for you getting fired.

You're not gonna get fired by this.

When it comes to talking
about race on television,

there is a line that cannot be crossed.

You crossed it, so find a way
to restore your image fast,

or we're going to cancel your show.

- You cannot be serious.
- Dumbass, they're serious.

All right. Whatever I need to do.

What do I need to do?

You don't even look Jewish, by the way.

Thanks. Wait, what?

All right, you have to see
what I'm talking about here.

Look, two guys, both ripped, okay?

White guy, black guy.
They both have great abs.

The black guys abs look more ripped

just because the color of his skin

and the light against it accentuates it.

It's not a race issue,
it's a visual color issue.

Don't try to justify
what you said; it was wrong.

Donny, your publicist,
Miss Sharp, is here to see you.

All right, send her in.

Another genius publicist
that I have to deal with?

I hear she's really great in a crisis.

There's no such thing
as a great publicist.

Hello.

Oh, my goodness. You're black.

I'm Donny. How are you doing?

I'm also Mikayla Sharp.

No, I-I... the point
is, I got a race issue,

so I think that's
fantastic that you're black.

I mean, the last thing I
need is an idiotic white guy.

- Huh.
- Please help us. Good luck.

Actually you know what?

I don't think I need that much help.

You know, these USA
people, they're going crazy.

I never said anything bad about anybody.

I don't think we have that big of a deal.

- It'll pass.
- I think we have to do

a couple of things just to make sure

it passes a little faster.

- All right.
- You know, like social media.

Do you post on Twitter?

I got this thing, DaManDonny.

- Okay.
- You would think I'm black.

DaManDonny, right?

- Not necessarily.
- Okay.

But, um, no racial commentary.

No. I just put, like, pictures
of my dog Kissy on there.

Good. You're on a lot of shows.

Seen you on "The Wendy Williams Show."

I love Wendy. Been on the show.

The sisters love me. They go crazy.

You know, this is a
great teaching moment.

All things considered,

that's probably not the
best choice of words.

I mean, I just,
I'm... I'm free. I say it.

I mean, it... just...
That's why people love me.

Let's make sure they still do.

Whether it's Wendy's
show or "Morning Joe"...

- Pick one.
- Okay.

Go on. Just be yourself.

When someone brings
up the comment...

Because they inevitably
will... about the black friends,

just say you got carried
away and that you regret it.

- Okay.
- Then we're gonna do a donation

to a charity that really supports

racial diversity in business,

and, I think more
importantly, get involved.

I mean, every crisis is an opportunity,

and this is an opportunity
for you to do something

impactful and positive.

You know, you seem like you
got a big, old, dumb heart,

so let's use it.

You have to have dinner with me.

I don't mean to be unprofessional.

I am just mesmerized by you.

Wow. You really have a special kind

of confidence, don't you?

Or idiocy.

You know, considering the timing,

just looks a little like you're guilty.

- I'm accused of being racist...
- Right.

And I want to go out
with a gorgeous black woman,

but I can't go out with her,

- because that'll seem racist.
- Exactly.

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

It's the world we live in today.

All right, plan B.

We can have dinner at my place

under the radar, so it's not gonna be,

"Oh, Donny's out with
a beautiful black girl."

I mean, come on. What do you think?

- I...
- I just think you're beautiful,

and I'm... I'm at a stage in my life

I just... I don't care.
I just... what the hell?

- Come on.
- I'm flattered,

so I will say we'll see.

I'm gonna take "We'll see" as a yes.

My driver's gonna pick
you up Friday at 8:00,

and we'll see each other on Friday.

- You are amazing.
- [chuckles]

- Good-bye, Donny.
- We'll see you on Friday.

So your date with Mikayla is set,

and today you're meeting with Star Jones

and Russell Simmons?

- Correct.
- Hmm.

You think you're showing
off your black friends

a little too much?

I'm not showing off anything.

They are my friends.
And yes, they're black.

And I need their advice, okay?

If I offended the Jewish Hasidic community,

I would meet with my Hasidic friends.

Exactly how many Hasidic
friends do you have, Donny?

Let's play a little
game. Why don't you try

going for a day where
you don't say the words

white, black, Hasid, Arab,

Canuck, Asian-persuasion,
Kiwi, "of the Indies."

Can you please just get my yoga mat?

Okay. Make sure you
work on those white abs.

[quirky music]

[horn honking]
Hey, you're a jerk!

It's a beautiful day in New York,

but there's no place I'd rather be

than in a movie theater

watching the hilarious
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler

in the new movie, "Sisters,"

opening Friday, December 18th.

Donny, look, this is the last time.

- Don't be a bitch.
- I can't do it.

Do... all right, do
the last... just do this.

I can do that.

Oh, wait, I can do that. Oh, yeah.

[grunts]

What you said was not smart.

I know it wasn't smart, but all I said is

I have a ton of black friends.

- I heard what you said.
- Okay, it's a...

- Why did you do that?
- It's...

- It's racist.
- That's why I got in trouble.

- I need your help.
- Just tweet you're sorry.

- Just say, "I'm... "
- I don't even know how to do that stuff.

- You don't know how to tweet?
-Just dog pictures, that's it.

- Twit me out of this, will you?
- You tweet.

Okay, tell me what to tweet.
What should I do?

"I made a really silly statement."

- Okay.
- "And I'm sorry..."

- Okay.
- "If I offended anybody."

- I know I offended people.
- "I'm sorry I offended people."

- Okay.
- "I made a really silly statement.

I hope my friends and
family can forgive me."

- Okay.
- Get your other black friends

- to retweet it.
- I got some black friends.

Why don't you just
describe us as friends?

If somebody says to
me, "You're a racist,"

it's a defensive, intelligent response.

No, the defensive,
intelligent response is,

"No, I'm not."

You know, I am not the
arbiter of all things black,

just in case you don't know,

but the whole issue with
diversity and inclusion

is to make us one,

not to identify us as others.

People want to be thought of

for their skill and their talent,

but valued for their diversity.

And you're devaluing that.

- All right, so what do I do?
- Best piece of advice...

- Yeah.
- Don't say stupid stuff.

[quirky music]

This Barbara Kruger is stunning.

Oh, thank you so much.
I'm just really lucky.

It's really a privilege to live with art.

And thank you for dinner.

Uh, it was really, really nice.

I'm not just saying
this, getting to know you,

I feel like we have a lot in common.

[chuckles] You're very sweet, Donny,

but I don't think you have
much in common with anyone.

You know, forget this.
I am a kid from Queens.

I'm Donny from the
hood, so that's not true.

Oh, I, um, I saw your apology tweet.

Yeah. Russell really helped me out.

And I got something else,
a little surprise for you

that's gonna make you very happy.

- That's exciting.
- I listened to you,

and I found a great charity.

It's called The Mosaic Project,

and I wrote a nice, big check.

Okay.

That's just okay

It's easy to throw money at a problem.

Or post an apology tweet.

That's what you told me to do.

I also told you that
you should get involved.

I mean, I thought you of all people

would do something bigger and bolder.

I mean, that's what's so great about you,

that you're so fearless.

And think about it, you
have a national spotlight

focused on you and you're writing a check?

Yeah, you're right. I am fearless.

[chuckle] So, find some way to show it.

Action, not a check.

Think bigger. Bolder.

I am Mr. Bold.

I love bold.

Let me show you a little bold right here,

you vixen, you. Get over here.

- [laughing]
- Come here. Come here.

Mikayla. How was it?

Honestly, she... I... like,
she blew me away.

You fall in love too fast, D-Dog.

No, this is not about
love. This is even bigger.

She actually, like, inspires me.

She's got me to think
different about everything,

you know, including all this race stuff.

All the problems.

I don't want to just kind of write a check,

I want to do my own thing.

Like, actually, like, create
my own race initiative.

I think you might be more
qualified to write a check.

Donny's ready to do something.

No, we're talking about racism.

Do not encourage him.

No, like a modern day "We Are the World."

- What's "We Are the World"?
- No clue.

You could become a Big Brother.

I mean bigger.

- Come on, I need an idea.
- What do we get?

Best idea gets a pair of Louboutins.

Oh, um, you record a rap version

of the "black friends" song
with all your black friends

while all wearing FUBU. Done.

FUBU is a gang and
they're really dangerous.

- No. Be serious.
- I am serious.

I want to figure out a way to get...

If I could get the world to,
like, hug it out, you know?

Okay, I don't really
recommend actual hugging.

I'm having, like, a Gandhi moment.

I-I just felt something.
I'm actually getting chills.

I want you to listen to these
two words I'm about to say.

Racy. Hugs.

- No.
- Racy Hugs.

- It's like a da Vinci moment.
- Bad idea.

This is the funniest job I've ever had.

It's the only job you've ever had.

Hey, welcome back to "Morning Joe."

It's time to bring in Donny, who is,

- of course, the host of "Donny!"
- He wants to make a point.

Donny has got himself
in some hot water, Mika.

- _
- I gotta tell you,

and I think Gene Robinson
will agree with me,

you sounded a lot like Jimmy
the Greek the other day.

- _
- I was complimenting your abs.

And I was saying they look great.

They're black, and they're ripped.

Look at those ripped, black abs.

He maybe took that as racist,

and he knows I'm the least
racist guy in America.

I got, like, a ton of black friends.

You know, you and I have
been friends a long time,

but that's not relevant, you know?

And so some of your best
friends, come on, dude.

"Some of my best friends
are black"? Seriously?

- What year is this?
- What country club did you just

crawl out of in the deep south?

What the hell is wrong with you?

- Okay, really?
- You guys have known me

a long time. I said something stupid.

Obviously you've known Gene a long time.

He's one of your friends.

And it's okay to acknowledge
you're a black man...

You're doing it again.
You're doing it again.

- I think racial...
- And Donny, would you like

- to see my abs?
- First, let me apologize.

I said something really stupid,

- and I tried to defend myself.
- Right.

And said something even stupider.

But I think that
out of every crisis,

sometimes comes
an opportunity.

I'm initiating something called Racy Hugs.

- Racy Hugs?
- What?

Racy Hugs.

I want everybody out there right now,

if you think we can do better
with race in this country,

go out, find somebody
of a different ethnicity,

a different race, stranger on the street,

- go up, give them a hug.
- Oh, this is...

Give them a Racy Hug.

$5, upload it to Racyhugs.com
for The Mosaic Project.

We're gonna raise $5 million

to get race relations in the
right track in this country.

I'm rarely speechless.

I am totally speechless right now.

Racy Hugs?

I'm gonna hit the streets
right after this show,

and I'm gonna give the
first racy hug out there.

Gene, can I actually give you
the first racy hug right now?

- Oh.
- No, no.

Gene, let me just hug you. Come on.

- No.
- Stay away. No, no.

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- This is the first racy hug.

- You see? You see? Look.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

That's what we need. That's it.

And this is not what
I was talking about.

All right. Tell me when you're ready.

Action.

This is hopefully a seminal moment

for race relations in America.

I'm just gonna give you a hug,
and we're gonna raise money,

and we're bringing the races together.

This is... thank you so much.

We're off to a good start.

Let's hug. Bring it together.

Oh, sorry! I will vote for you,

but please do not touch me.

Donny, don't force it. Don't force it.

- No, no, just... I want...
- I don't know you.

- It's for charity, it's for...
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

- No! Hey! No!
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

No more hugs!

That's a demonstration
of why we're doing this.

Let's hug and just show
America how it's done.

- Thanks, man.
- He wasn't so into it.

- We'll get him on the next one.
- I'm waiting for my bus.

- Break the pole down.
- I'm going to wait for my bus.

- No, sir. Okay, I'm sorry.
- Don't force it, Donny.

Violet, get his name.
Send him a Donny bobblehead.

Oh! That's a racy hug.
Young people understand this.

This is my new friend
here. Can I start doing with

a white person also, or that
defeats the whole purpose?

- It doesn't work that way.
- Yeah.

This is what it's about.

This moment right here.

Feel this. Racy Hugs.

Thank you so much. You're delightful.

- Racy hug!
- All right, let's cut.

That's the perfect one to
start this whole thing off.

All right. I'm going
for my first Racy Hug.

Excuse me, sir. I'm
doing a video for charity.

I was wondering if I could give you a hug.

- No. Whoa, whoa.
- 'Cause this is to really...

- This is to... just a quick selfie.
- I'm not interested. No.

- Please, come on.
- Get away from me!

Well, talk show host Donny
is in the news again,

this time with his big
idea disaster, Racy Hugs.

- A hug?
- It's not a sexual hug.

- I don't know you.
- Racy Hug, brother.

Man, get the [bleep] off me.

- Wow.
- What a Racy Hugs disaster.

That one didn't turn out
the way he expected.

How did Donny Deutsch,
who's supposed to be

- this great marketing genius...
- Yeah.

Come up with such a bad idea

that's just kind of floating
like a turd in a punchbowl?

- What are you doing?
- Ugh, Donny.

- _
- Well, friends, watch it float.

- God.
- It ain't pretty.

- There are good touches...
- Huh?

And bad touches. A stranger touch?

- _
- That's... that's always bad.

A stranger hug?

That's actually worse.

Mikayla,

what part of you thought
Racy Hugs was a good idea?

And that it was okay to launch
it without network approval?

I was not consulted on this initiative.

All right, this was not her idea.

This was my idea. I
take full responsibility.

She inspired it. She
inspired me to be bold.

It was maybe a little too bold.

That's what you wanted.

It made a difference.

You just hugged your
way off the network, Donny.

We're already getting
complains from our sponsors.

I can spin those sponsors, it's what I do.

As an expert on spin, I'm telling you

- this is unspinnable.
- Excuse me.

Violet, we are in the
middle of getting fired.

[whispering] This is
blowing up the internet.

Come on, come here,
come here, come here.

Good afternoon.

- Yes?
- Um, it seems as though

Racy Hugs has blown up the internet.

That's called bad press.

No. There are a lot of
people making fun of it,

but they're uploading the spoof videos

to the Racy Hugs website, which only means

more money for the charity...

- Racy Hug!
- And it seems as though the kids,

like, children are really into it.

- Seriously?
- Yes.

That is so cute. Look at that.

In the past four days, Racy
Hugs has raised more money

than The Mosaic Project has, like, ever.

Yeah, we're at half a mil and going strong.

So it seems as though
Donny's "huge failure"

turns out to be a slam dunk.

- Thank you.
- He's even being called

- a visionary.
- [scoffs]

I mean, I don't know about you guys,

but I would call that
a win-win for America.

What do you think? Huh?

It's pretty unbelievable.

Donny, You are luckier then you deserve.

What can I say? I'm a Jew.

- I know how to make money.
- [groans]

Mikayla. Mikayla, come here.

You a believer now?

Let's go have a victory drink.

Um, actually it's... it's
getting kinda late,

so I need to go.

What do you mean it's getting late?

- It's 3:00 in the afternoon.
- Donny, you are fun,

and you try really
hard, which I appreciate,

but this just isn't gonna work.

What do you mean this isn't gonna work?

It's working.

We live in different worlds.

Why? Because you're black and I'm white?

No. Because you live your life
with a lot of unfiltered drama.

You wanted the drama.
You said, "Be bold."

I went... I was bold.
I did what you wanted.

Yeah. Um, also,

I'm seeing someone else.

Black guy or white guy?

Why is that important?

I'd feel better if it was a black guy

'cause, you know, I'm Jewish down there.

Black guy's a whole different thing, so...

That's ridiculous. You know what?

Not that it matters,
but for what it's worth,

- he's Asian.
- Oh, so I'm not smart enough.

Oh, my God. You know what?

- I can't...
- Racy Hug!

[shutter clicking] That's super cute.

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