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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 - Why are you topless? - I'm being free! 2 00:00:02,041 --> 00:00:06,607 - You are one of us now. - Yes, I suppose I am. 3 00:00:06,609 --> 00:00:09,534 - I love you. Ssh. - 'It's not cool, how you talk to Fred.' 4 00:00:09,536 --> 00:00:12,239 This programme contains strong language, adult humour and some nudity. 5 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:15,679 - I can fuck who I like. - No, you can't. 6 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,559 Anthony's not going to like this! 7 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,439 Anthony's not going to know about this. 8 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:23,440 I think I've been pretending to be in love with you. 9 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:41,439 - I love you! - Jesus! 10 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:42,919 I fancy you. 11 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,999 Yeah, I... 12 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,359 ...fancy you, too. 13 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:48,239 Hm! 14 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:49,599 That's nice. 15 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:52,199 Oh, crazy, huh?! 16 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:53,919 IRISH ACCENT: I don't remember a t'ing! 17 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:57,920 Good luck at work today. Mwah! 18 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:15,919 I feel just fantastic! 19 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,439 Isn't it just a fantastic day?! 20 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:19,919 It's a marvellous day! 21 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:23,359 Well, come and do the Fantastic, Marvellous Day dance with me, then. 22 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:25,079 OK! 23 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:27,039 Oh! Oop! 24 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:31,040 I love this place! 25 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,399 Would you ever let me bum you? 26 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,399 HE SNIGGERS 27 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,159 No! 28 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:43,039 I like putting things IN other things. 29 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:46,039 I think you'd get into it. It's good for angry men. 30 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,839 Between you and Will, 31 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:51,039 I cannot turn around without fearing for my sphincter. 32 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,319 I'm going to have to buy a little shield for it. 33 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,839 - Will? - The guy can't take his eyes off my hole. 34 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,519 I can feel them boring through my jeans every time I bend over. 35 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,279 You genuinely think everybody fancies you, don't you? 36 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:05,280 They do. 37 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:16,360 - Perk your aunt's morning up. - Get out! 38 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:18,799 Oh, shit! 39 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,079 What? 40 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,919 It's "get out" time, babycakes. 41 00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:27,599 They're knocking us down. 42 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,479 Where will all these people go? 43 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:33,039 This is what happens. If you want to live like this, 44 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:35,519 then you have to leave like this. 45 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:39,520 OK... Pack what you like. The rest, we keep for firewood. 46 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,439 You're the secret flower man?! 47 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,359 So? Nothing wrong with brightening up the place a bit. 48 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,359 Do you want one? 49 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:19,199 Thanks! 50 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,079 Hey, Sam... 51 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,879 where are you going to move to? 52 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,719 Oh, heard a rumour of an old fire station down south. 53 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:27,679 So, thought I might slide in there. 54 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:29,319 OK. Nice! 55 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:30,999 I just thought, maybe... 56 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,359 Could I come... with you? 57 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:36,599 Just thought it would be nice to... stick together. 58 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,119 - Sure. Whatever. - Really?! 59 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:40,439 Yeah, let's do it! 60 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,079 You tell anyone that I am flower man, 61 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:45,079 that is going somewhere it ain't getting photosynthsizzled. 62 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:49,080 Cross my heart. 63 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:58,119 - Pretending? - And now she's pretending 64 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:00,559 that she never said that she was pretending. 65 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:03,479 Well, I think you are both dealing with it really well. 66 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,199 - Oh! - You guys are the dream. Thank God you're getting married. 67 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,199 What am I supposed to do now? Do I remind her? 68 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:11,999 No! Just pretend you don't know she's pretending 69 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,599 she never said she was pretending! 70 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:18,999 Hey... 71 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,039 SHE BURPS Argh! 72 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:22,679 No! No! 73 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,439 I've never laughed at that! 74 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,439 Ever! 75 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,799 - What did you do last night? - No-one. 76 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:32,800 I can't believe they can evict people on a weekend. 77 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:34,959 It's Monday. 78 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:38,479 Shut up. 79 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:39,719 Yeah. 80 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:40,759 - No. - Yeah. 81 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:42,719 What?! Fuck! 82 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:45,079 No, I have to go now! Like NOW now! 83 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:47,439 Like, what happened to Sunday?! 84 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:49,319 Oh, I'm so sweaty! 85 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,919 Do these look like pyjamas?! 86 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:55,920 Not at all. 87 00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:02,479 - I made you cafe. Un cafe pour... - Brilliant! 88 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:06,480 - D'accord. - Merci. - Happy eviction, everybody! 89 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,239 What a palaver, eh? 90 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:09,879 This is insane! 91 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,879 - Brekkie, Fred? - Freddy Chops, are you ready? 92 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:14,399 Oh, Will's giving me a lift this morning. 93 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:17,519 - I'm at Samaritans. It's just round the corner. - Samaritans Samaritans? 94 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:20,199 Yeah, people call up in distress, looking for... 95 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,759 - Upbeat Australian advice! - Yeah! 96 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:24,279 Hey, who were you having 97 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,839 that delicious-sounding sex with last night? 98 00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:28,719 My vote's on the fourth-floor yoga bunny. 99 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:32,519 I wasn't having sex. I was... crying. 100 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:35,279 Weren't you hanging late with Lulu last night? 101 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:37,879 - Lulu?! - Sure. Yeah, me and Lulu, sure. 102 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:41,479 - I'd rather slam my dick in a door! - Oh, my God! It was totally Lulu! 103 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,159 - Was it? - No. 104 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,279 It was so totally Lulu. 105 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:46,959 - Was it? - Guys, leave him alone. 106 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,159 Yeah, can we please just leave him and Lulu alone? 107 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,199 It wasn't Lulu. I was crying. 108 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,559 Yeah, right into Lulu's vagina! 109 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:54,999 HE LAUGHS 110 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,239 Ah! 111 00:05:56,240 --> 00:06:00,039 Hey, guys, I just wanted to say, I've found a new pad. 112 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:03,439 - Oh, you got your period? - (Love your naughty sense of humour.) 113 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:06,719 - No, I've got a flat, in Angel. - What?! Why didn't you say? 114 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,359 - Congrats, man. - Thank you. I wanted to... I wanted to ask... 115 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:12,439 Hey, mate, will you let Kate know we're both in on the new building? 116 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,559 I wanted to ask Fred if he'd like to move in with me. 117 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:17,959 Oh! 118 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,799 Oh. Wow! 119 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:23,639 It's got skirting boards, an oven, a bidet. It's got everything. 120 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:26,079 And it's all yours. It's ours, if you want it. 121 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:27,959 What do you say? 122 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,879 Oh, boy... Um... 123 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,639 Phew... 124 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,439 Can I think about it? 125 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:36,799 You sure can. 126 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:40,800 Congrats, mate. 127 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:51,479 Lulu? 128 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:52,639 Lulu! 129 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:56,640 - Hm? - Hi! Did anything come for me this morning? 130 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,399 No. 131 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:02,919 Who is that for? 132 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:06,920 Kate. 133 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:12,319 Yay! Perfect! 134 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:15,959 I love it. By the way, if you feel ill, take the afternoon off. 135 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:19,199 - Thanks. - Are those pyjamas? 136 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:23,200 How dare you?! 137 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,399 I mean, Samaritans, my arse. I bet he's out there 138 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:29,079 just spanking old grandpas. There is NOTHING about him 139 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:33,080 being a Samaritan online. - You could call them. See if you get him. 140 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:39,560 - Colin! - 02079460423. They pick up really quickly. 141 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:43,840 KEYPAD BEEPS 142 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,519 LINE RINGS 143 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:48,239 WOMAN: 'Good afternoon. Samaritans. How can I help you today?' 144 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:49,959 Oh. Oh, you can take me out, 145 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,279 Charity Chops, that's what you can do. 146 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,719 - (Don't disrespect them.) - 'Hello? Anyone there?' 147 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,519 KEYPAD BEEPS, LINE RINGS 148 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,919 MAN: 'Good afternoon. Samari-... 149 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:02,199 LINE RINGS 150 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:05,519 AUSTRALIAN MAN: 'G'day. You're through to The Samaritans. 151 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:08,439 'I'm guessing this means you got lost along the way. Am I right?' 152 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:10,119 (He's real.) 153 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:11,759 (Speak to him.) 154 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:15,399 'Hello?' 155 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,879 HIGH-PITCHED: Hi, my name is Stephen. 156 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:21,039 Hi, Stephen. I'm Will. You doing OK, buddy? 157 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:22,359 'Not really.' 158 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,959 I've got a pain in my arsehole. 159 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,439 I can't actually give you any medical advice, I'm sorry. 160 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:31,440 I've just done a poo in my hand and I'm about to go in for a meeting. 161 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,079 HE CHUCKLES 162 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,999 You're a bit of joker, eh? 163 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:39,039 'All right, you got me hands down. Ha! 164 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:42,359 'Hey, I don't mean to pry, Stephen, ' 165 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,805 but what happens when the laughter stops, mate? 166 00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:58,759 How can she PRETEND to love me? 167 00:08:58,760 --> 00:08:59,959 She was topless. 168 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,519 Everyone says things they don't mean when they're topless. 169 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:06,520 Did you get totally smashed on your own last night? 170 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:07,999 I feel horrible. 171 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,479 Oh, shit. It's Kate. She's got a balloon. What does that mean? 172 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:15,480 God. Protect that with your life. 173 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:22,479 Hi! Wow, look at that! 174 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,199 I-love-you balloon. 175 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:28,200 Yes! 176 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,919 - You OK? - So I've been looking at properties in zone five, 177 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,999 and I've come across an old primary school building in Croydon. 178 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:38,000 - Kate. - Are you too busy? Shall I come back later? 179 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:45,800 Oh, wow. 180 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:52,160 My God! 181 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:05,800 She wants to try some. Then we're going to talk. 182 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:10,679 Oh! 183 00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:14,680 Good luck! 184 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,599 Mmm. 185 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,919 Did you put alcohol in this? 186 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:29,119 Did you love your father? 187 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,639 HE SPEAKS IN FALSETTO VOICE: My family were never close. 188 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,399 Ooooh! He's very good. 189 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:37,609 - Hey, listen, don't underestimate the importance of having a strong male role model in your life 190 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:42,520 Do you know any inspirational older men you could lean on? 191 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,759 Please, Kate, talk to me. 192 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:56,760 I... don't want to live together like this... any more. 193 00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:02,599 Fuck, Kate. 194 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:05,479 I don't want to be a guardian any more. 195 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:06,799 I want a flat. 196 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:10,800 With fresh fruit and normal windows and... 197 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,039 ...no Lulu. 198 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,359 Lulu? What? 199 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:18,359 She wears quirky clothes and she is in love with you 200 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,799 and it's exhausting. 201 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:24,199 SHE RETCHES 202 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:25,879 She's not... in love with me. 203 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:28,359 - Kate, last night, you said... - I didn't say anything, OK. 204 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,079 I'm just never going to drink and paint ever again. 205 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:32,839 Can I start looking for flats? 206 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,719 Yes. 207 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,159 Where will Lulu go? 208 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,079 I don't care about Lulu. 209 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,039 SHE LAUGHS 210 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:44,879 Good. 211 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:46,919 He sounds like a nightmare! 212 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,999 He's just always here being relentlessly cheery. 213 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,999 And he's stolen my friend. 214 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,759 Oh, God, I sound like a child! 215 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:57,999 'No, you don't, Stephen. You really don't. 216 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,519 'But, hey, ' 217 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,319 I'm going ask you something now. 218 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,119 'Are you ready?' 219 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:04,199 Yes. 220 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:08,200 Are you honest with everyone about how you feel about them? 221 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:11,039 No. 222 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:14,639 'Anyone in particular?' 223 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:15,799 Yes. 224 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:19,800 Well, I think it's time you told them how you feel, Stevo. 225 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:27,200 He's a knob. 226 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:31,799 So, voila, Colin, I quit my job today. Let's go. 227 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,879 We can stay with my friend Louis in Poland. 228 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:37,880 He is an erotic magician. He would love you. 229 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:42,640 Are you having a stroke? 230 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:46,239 Who is this? 231 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:50,240 I'm beginning to feel like I'm one of a long line of Colins. 232 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:53,839 Am I? 233 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,919 So what if you are? 234 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,599 How many of us are there? 235 00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,879 - It doesn't matter. - It does. 236 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:04,559 You can't deny the resemblance is unnerving. 237 00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:06,039 What is this? Huh? 238 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:09,079 You stand in my room, you lie in my bed, 239 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:13,080 you dance like a naked angel in my dreams but you won't let me in. 240 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:14,959 I shouldn't have brought it up. 241 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,960 Ah! You don't like it? Huh? C'est ca? 242 00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:24,880 Do you know how hard it is for me to sleep next to you and not touch your body? 243 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:29,240 Not hold you? Not kiss you. Not poke your little cheeks? 244 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,759 D'accord. Go. 245 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:40,239 Go back to your wife, her lover, your misery. 246 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:44,240 - I'm not going to live this torture any more. You GO. - No! 247 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:50,760 Tonight. 6.30. I will prepare and I will come to you. 248 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:58,000 D'accord. 249 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:06,519 Hey, get an erection and bring it to my room. 250 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:09,719 No, honey, it doesn't work like that. He's sleeping. 251 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:10,879 You already have a semi. 252 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:14,119 Damn. SHIT. No. No. NO. Cos if Anthony finds out about this... 253 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,839 Lu! There you are... Find out about what? 254 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,919 Find out... that... 255 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:21,199 Sam's got... 256 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,639 - What? - A semi. - OK. 257 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,039 No! Find out Kate's... 258 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,839 - What? - Pregnant. 259 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,039 What? 260 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:34,040 - Yeah. Really... - REALLY pregnant. 261 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:38,800 She told me not to tell you. 262 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:05,240 - Uh, Kate, quick word. - Bubbles? - What is the occasion? 263 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:09,319 - OK, I need to... - There's an old people's home in zone three. I have requested a viewing for you. 264 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:12,639 - But I've done a bad... - Not now, Sam. - Um. Sam, can we talk for a second? 265 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:15,319 - Hi, team. - Hey, how was Samaritans? 266 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:18,079 Really interesting day, actually. 267 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:19,399 Get many callers? 268 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,519 Uh, a little girl who's getting bullied, 269 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,079 a hyperactive dinner lady, and a... 270 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,079 frustrated homosexual. Tragic, actually. 271 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:30,039 Really simple guy just desperate to be much more complicated than he actually is. 272 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,239 He's got a big hard-on for his best friend 273 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,999 and is jealous of the new boyfriend... ya-dee-ya-dee-yada. 274 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:39,000 Anyway, I think we really got somewhere with him. 275 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:43,920 I am going to go hit the el bano and then I want your final answer, OK? 276 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,119 - Deal. Don't be long. - OK. 277 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,479 - Are you going to move in with him? - I think so, yeah. 278 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:54,479 Me and Anthony, too. 279 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:56,639 - Yay! - Yay! 280 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,799 THEY LAUGH 281 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:02,599 FEEBLY: Yay! 282 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:06,119 Jesus, there you are! Listen. Kate isn't... 283 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:07,559 - Is she back? - Yes, but she's not... 284 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,759 I KNEW something freaky was going on. I KNEW it. 285 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,479 I am more intuitive that I give myself credit for. 286 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:13,919 No, no, you're really not. 287 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:17,920 I'm fine. I'm going to deal with this really well. 288 00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:20,319 Really, really well. 289 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,479 No, you're not! She's not even... oh, dear! 290 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:27,279 ? I was sailing down the River Jordan. ? 291 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:30,159 DOOR SLAMS 292 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:33,039 G'day? 293 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,999 FOOTSTEPS 294 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,959 G'day? 295 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:41,359 Why do you think I'm gay? 296 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,839 You think you're so clever. 297 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:48,239 I'm here to help you. 298 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:49,599 I want to help. 299 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:53,600 Answer my question or I'm coming in. 300 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,839 I think you're gay because you obsess about the men in your life. 301 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:08,840 What, just because I care about my friends, it makes me a bender? 302 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:12,359 You need to update your counsel, brother. Give me a better reason. 303 00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:15,039 HE SCREAMS 304 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:18,159 Because you're obsessed with me. You think about me. 305 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,599 You flash your body at me. 306 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,319 You bitch about me and then to top it off, 307 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,639 you put on a stupid voice and you call my work 308 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:28,439 and waste the time of a poor little dinner lady who really needed help. 309 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,679 Maybe I need help. 310 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:33,239 - You need a boyfriend. - Do you think? 311 00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:36,519 Yeah, I do. I really do. 312 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,079 - I think you need to have sex with a man. - Fuck you. 313 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:40,879 HE LAUGHS 314 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:44,239 Hey, um... I get it. 315 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:47,559 I'm up-beat and Australian and a lot of fun. 316 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:50,719 But I'm in love with your boy Fred. I'm fucking crazy about him. 317 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,879 And either you need to back off, or you need to share him 318 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:57,880 because I'm not going anywhere and you and I will just end up fighting 319 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:01,960 till the sun takes his little hat off. 320 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:07,080 It'll be so much better for both of us if you and I just get on. 321 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,519 I told you he wasn't to be trusted! I told you... 322 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,199 Pack your little bag and don't listen to a word he says! 323 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:43,284 - Don't interrupt me! You have not got a dick to stand on! - Guys, guys! 324 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,399 Will someone tell me what happened? 325 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,679 We were in the shower room - do not interrupt me! 326 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:50,359 And I was asking this douche about his day. Nice guy. 327 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:53,399 Then he just opened my shower door, leaned in all monkey chest 328 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,199 and then HE KISSED ME WITH HIS MOUTH. 329 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,719 Fred. Sam pranked me today at work. He called me... 330 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,599 - Did you kiss him with your mouth? - No. - LIAR! 331 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:06,600 - Sam, I don't know what you're trying to do here. - Did you kiss at all? 332 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:09,999 Will? 333 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,319 He kissed me. 334 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,239 - Oh, boy! - Fred. I don't know why... 335 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,519 OK. I think um... 336 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,159 - Kate. - Not now, Anthony. There is serious shit going down here 337 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,719 and I'm just delighted it's not about us. - You're pregnant! 338 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,559 - Oh, Jesus. - What?! 339 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:25,759 Why didn't you tell me? 340 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,559 Because I am not pregnant. 341 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:28,919 Yeah, guys... 342 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,239 Not pregnant? Really? 343 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,039 No! I hope not! 344 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:35,799 Oh, thank God! Thank God! 345 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,359 Thank God! All right! Don't have a party about it. 346 00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:42,279 Sorry. Thank God. I just... Sam, what the hell? 347 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:46,322 OK, anyone else got anything they would like to announce to the room before I start self-harming? 348 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:51,119 OK, in that case. Will, I think we... 349 00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:53,639 Sam's fucking Lulu! 350 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,479 What? 351 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:59,199 Mate, I am so sorry. She was really pushy. 352 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:02,319 - Grey area mate, serious. - What the fuck? You promised! 353 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:04,679 - Promised what? - You can't stop two sexy people... 354 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:08,199 Yeah, no, I know. I know. 355 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,799 Fuck's sake, man! 356 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,799 - I just... - What? 357 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:17,800 What, you just wanted them all for yourself? 358 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,079 Red zone! 359 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,519 Ow! What the fuck do you care? 360 00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:25,959 - She's not your girlfriend. - I told you not to do that. 361 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,959 I'm sorry I broke your rules! 362 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:32,960 Seems like you deal in other people's property in life as well as work, Sam. 363 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:36,479 Are you punning? 364 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,119 I'm just saying - argh! 365 00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:41,239 Ow! 366 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,239 Stop fucking everyone, you PRICK. 367 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,199 Argh! 368 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,559 I don't know who to hit! 369 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,759 You can't help yourself, can you? 370 00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:54,519 Life is a buffet, Anthony. I taught you that! 371 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,479 I think I'm done here. 372 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:57,959 Just admit you're GAY, mate! 373 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,759 Just admit you're a DICK! Hospital vote. 374 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:04,760 Will should get the fuck out for kissing me! 375 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,879 Ha! You see that! 376 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:12,519 Everybody loves me. Everyone wants me round. 377 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:16,439 I am fantastic. I always win. Always. 378 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:19,679 I see what I want and I go and I bloody well get it. 379 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:22,639 And I want little Fred to be my wife 380 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:26,039 and if that means spending time in this skanky hospital 381 00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:30,040 surrounded by a bunch of insane and unattractive urban gyppos, 382 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:35,440 so be it, but I will be disinfecting myself the minute 383 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:39,480 I walk out of here because you all disgust me. 384 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:44,080 Come, little Fred. 385 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:02,040 I think you need to leave the skanky hospital, Will. 386 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:08,160 You will never meet anyone like me ever again. 387 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:14,240 I'm fantastic. 388 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:19,520 DOOR SLAMS 389 00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:25,040 See, I told you he couldn't be trusted, mate. 390 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:32,400 Yeah, you nailed it. 391 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:39,400 - Mate, I need to find... - I need to find Kate. 392 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:55,760 KNOCK ON DOOR 393 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:06,519 Ready? 394 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:10,520 Oui. 395 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,439 Just tell me one thing. 396 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,919 Anything. 397 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,199 Who's the man in the picture? 398 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:29,200 Oh! It's my father. 399 00:23:29,250 --> 00:23:33,800 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 29477

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