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1
00:00:02,413 --> 00:00:03,813
(upbeat march plays)
2
00:00:03,847 --> 00:00:06,548
Good morning, USA!
3
00:00:06,583 --> 00:00:10,452
I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day
4
00:00:10,486 --> 00:00:13,422
The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face
5
00:00:13,456 --> 00:00:17,892
And he's shining a salute
to the American race
6
00:00:19,762 --> 00:00:22,930
Oh, boy, it's swell to say
7
00:00:22,964 --> 00:00:25,132
Good...
Good morning, USA
8
00:00:25,166 --> 00:00:26,701
Aah!
9
00:00:27,969 --> 00:00:30,731
Good morning, USA!
10
00:00:30,851 --> 00:00:37,288
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
11
00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:43,650
Oh, my God, for my birthday!
12
00:00:43,684 --> 00:00:45,084
What a surprise!
13
00:00:45,119 --> 00:00:46,319
You guys!
14
00:00:46,354 --> 00:00:47,920
I almost had a heart attack!
15
00:00:50,891 --> 00:00:52,791
Okay, I got my birthday
all planned out.
16
00:00:52,825 --> 00:00:55,361
I want us all to drink
a bunch of Four Lokos,
17
00:00:55,395 --> 00:00:57,095
then swim across the lake
after midnight.
18
00:00:57,130 --> 00:00:58,897
I really don't think
it's that far across.
19
00:00:58,931 --> 00:00:59,998
It looks real close.
20
00:01:00,032 --> 00:01:01,512
Roger, didn't you
just have a birthday
21
00:01:01,534 --> 00:01:02,668
a couple of months ago?
22
00:01:02,702 --> 00:01:04,603
Yeah, that's right.
23
00:01:04,638 --> 00:01:07,005
You made us ride ATVs
on Ted Nugent's ranch
24
00:01:07,039 --> 00:01:08,539
without his permission.
25
00:01:08,574 --> 00:01:10,775
Fine, you caught me.
It's not my birthday.
26
00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:12,943
But that's the only day
of the year
27
00:01:12,978 --> 00:01:15,546
I can get you nervous Nellies
to do anything adventurous.
28
00:01:15,581 --> 00:01:17,649
So, who's in
for the Loko lake swim?
29
00:01:17,683 --> 00:01:19,917
Look, Roger, we're all
for trying new things,
30
00:01:19,951 --> 00:01:21,286
but that sounds too dangerous.
31
00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:22,887
Yeah, if new things
are so great,
32
00:01:22,921 --> 00:01:24,888
where have they been
all this time?
33
00:01:24,922 --> 00:01:28,558
Well, well, well,
what have we here?
34
00:01:28,593 --> 00:01:32,028
Discount coupons
to the American Safety Museum?!
35
00:01:32,062 --> 00:01:33,797
(singsongy):
Using these!
36
00:01:33,831 --> 00:01:37,133
Oh, look, they're doing an
exhibit on Augustus Seatbelt,
37
00:01:37,168 --> 00:01:39,670
the inventor of the airbag.
38
00:01:39,704 --> 00:01:41,304
Hello?!
39
00:01:41,338 --> 00:01:44,173
We're not going
to any stupid safety museum.
40
00:01:44,207 --> 00:01:46,609
(sighs) Why doesn't anyone
ever listen to me?
41
00:01:47,644 --> 00:01:49,945
You guys will not believe
what's in this towel.
42
00:01:49,979 --> 00:01:51,747
A baby! A baby
you gave birth to
43
00:01:51,782 --> 00:01:53,416
and you didn't even know
you were pregnant!
44
00:01:53,450 --> 00:01:54,983
It just popped out on the lawn.
45
00:01:55,018 --> 00:01:57,452
You thought you were just
taking a "D" on the lawn,
46
00:01:57,486 --> 00:01:58,787
but surprise,
it wasn't a deuce,
47
00:01:58,821 --> 00:02:00,988
it was a baby
and it's in that towel!
48
00:02:01,023 --> 00:02:02,524
Show me that baby!
49
00:02:02,558 --> 00:02:05,259
No, it's a raccoon.
50
00:02:05,294 --> 00:02:07,061
What did you do
with your baby?!
51
00:02:07,095 --> 00:02:08,730
Look at this adorable guy!
52
00:02:08,764 --> 00:02:10,398
I'm gonna call him Cuddles...
53
00:02:10,433 --> 00:02:12,899
after the cat he was eating
when I found him.
54
00:02:12,934 --> 00:02:15,068
Oh, my God, you won't do
my dangerous birthday plan,
55
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:16,737
but you're gonna let her keep
56
00:02:16,771 --> 00:02:18,238
a wild animal in the house?
57
00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:20,173
She got a pet.
I think it's nice.
58
00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:21,475
Uch, forget this.
59
00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:24,177
I'm gonna go do something
on the edge like skydiving,
60
00:02:24,212 --> 00:02:26,413
or trying on underwear
at Marshall's.
61
00:02:27,682 --> 00:02:29,248
Oh, hey, Roger, there you are.
62
00:02:29,282 --> 00:02:30,950
I wanted to ask your advice.
63
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:33,686
Finally! Someone who wants
to hear what I have to say.
64
00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:35,855
So I have a crush on this girl,
65
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:37,323
but she only goes for jocks.
66
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:39,291
Well, she sounds
too smart for you, Steve.
67
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:40,760
I suggest
you find somebody else,
68
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,294
'cause you'll never be a jock.
69
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,730
That's it!
I'll become a jock!
70
00:02:44,764 --> 00:02:47,265
You'll be as good a jock
as you are a listener.
71
00:02:49,802 --> 00:02:52,871
They should've listened to me.
That was an epic swim.
72
00:02:52,905 --> 00:02:54,506
I think my favorite part
was when
73
00:02:54,540 --> 00:02:56,708
that guy drowned trying
to save me.
74
00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:58,610
Now, if only there was a way
75
00:02:58,644 --> 00:03:00,044
I could remember this day
forever.
76
00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:02,312
Oh, my God, a red-light camera!
77
00:03:02,347 --> 00:03:03,647
(tires screech)
78
00:03:07,352 --> 00:03:09,487
(horns beeping)
79
00:03:09,521 --> 00:03:11,522
Now if this light would
just turn red,
80
00:03:11,556 --> 00:03:13,357
we'd have one hell
of a picture.
81
00:03:13,392 --> 00:03:14,492
MAN:
Hey, come on!
82
00:03:14,526 --> 00:03:15,726
What are you waiting for?
83
00:03:15,761 --> 00:03:17,326
Blow it out your ass!
84
00:03:17,361 --> 00:03:19,362
(horns beeping)
85
00:03:21,832 --> 00:03:24,667
(screeching tires, banging,
crashing)
86
00:03:31,275 --> 00:03:34,076
(screeching tires,
banging, crashing)
87
00:03:37,915 --> 00:03:40,416
(Roger groaning)
88
00:03:40,450 --> 00:03:42,584
Roger, thank God you're awake!
89
00:03:42,619 --> 00:03:43,852
You've been in a coma.
90
00:03:43,887 --> 00:03:46,555
Oh, my God, how long was I out?
91
00:03:46,589 --> 00:03:48,024
This long?
Or this long?
92
00:03:48,058 --> 00:03:49,524
The first one.
93
00:03:49,558 --> 00:03:51,826
Roger, I just want to tell you
how happy we are
94
00:03:51,860 --> 00:03:53,929
that we didn't go along
with your stupid plan.
95
00:03:53,963 --> 00:03:56,798
Yes, if you weren't so easy
to dismiss,
96
00:03:56,832 --> 00:03:58,533
we could be in here with you.
97
00:03:58,567 --> 00:04:00,868
Mom, Dad, thank you
for not listening to Roger.
98
00:04:00,903 --> 00:04:03,038
Well, this has been
a grand reunion.
99
00:04:03,072 --> 00:04:04,072
Roger, you're awake,
100
00:04:04,106 --> 00:04:05,906
which means you're
probably alive.
101
00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,774
Let's check your vitals.
102
00:04:07,809 --> 00:04:10,277
(gasping)
103
00:04:13,881 --> 00:04:17,251
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye!
104
00:04:17,285 --> 00:04:18,485
A body...
105
00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:19,619
a lawsuit...
106
00:04:19,654 --> 00:04:21,821
Doctor, I just had a vision.
107
00:04:21,855 --> 00:04:23,156
You're being fired by a baby.
108
00:04:23,190 --> 00:04:26,525
Well, that's impossible,
unless it was Dr. Baby,
109
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,028
the baby who's in charge
of this hospital.
110
00:04:29,063 --> 00:04:31,797
But I assure you,
your vision wasn't real.
111
00:04:31,832 --> 00:04:34,300
It was nothing but
a postcomatic delusion.
112
00:04:34,335 --> 00:04:36,369
You just need
a little more rest.
113
00:04:36,403 --> 00:04:39,304
I think your family should
probably leave.
114
00:04:39,339 --> 00:04:41,539
I'm sorry, what?
I thought you guys should go.
115
00:04:41,574 --> 00:04:42,740
Yeah, so did we.
116
00:04:42,775 --> 00:04:45,810
I swear, what I saw
seemed so real.
117
00:04:45,845 --> 00:04:47,379
I think you're
gonna lose your job.
118
00:04:47,413 --> 00:04:49,247
(chuckles) There's
nothing to worry about.
119
00:04:49,282 --> 00:04:52,017
I'm a dedicated professional
with a spotless record...
120
00:04:52,051 --> 00:04:54,185
You see, when I'm engaged
with a patient,
121
00:04:54,219 --> 00:04:56,988
it's as if the whole world
disappears around me.
122
00:04:58,156 --> 00:05:01,125
Oh, no, the bad sound.
123
00:05:01,159 --> 00:05:02,293
He's dead!
124
00:05:02,327 --> 00:05:05,662
This was clearly
your fault, Doctor!
125
00:05:05,697 --> 00:05:07,764
Damn it!
It's gonna take more
126
00:05:07,799 --> 00:05:09,799
than a game of peekaboo
with Dr. Baby
127
00:05:09,833 --> 00:05:11,234
to get out of this one.
128
00:05:11,268 --> 00:05:12,768
(sobbing)
129
00:05:12,803 --> 00:05:15,038
Oh, my God, I was right!
130
00:05:15,072 --> 00:05:16,373
This was my vision!
131
00:05:16,407 --> 00:05:18,608
Ma'am? Ma'am, I was right.
132
00:05:18,642 --> 00:05:19,876
(gasps)
133
00:05:19,910 --> 00:05:23,013
I see you on a beach...with a guy!
134
00:05:23,047 --> 00:05:25,381
I wouldn't dreadhanging out with him.
135
00:05:25,415 --> 00:05:27,582
Your new boyfriend
has dreadlocks.
136
00:05:27,617 --> 00:05:28,783
How dare you?!
137
00:05:28,818 --> 00:05:31,520
I'll never love
anyone but my husband.
138
00:05:31,554 --> 00:05:33,455
I'm here to gather
the dead man, mon.
139
00:05:33,490 --> 00:05:36,892
Whoa, you look sexy
when you cry.
140
00:05:36,926 --> 00:05:40,795
Really? No one's ever noticed
that about me before.
141
00:05:40,830 --> 00:05:43,331
How about I buy you
a Red Stripe?
142
00:05:48,137 --> 00:05:51,272
And that's when I was sure
that I could see the future.
143
00:05:51,306 --> 00:05:53,587
Roger, the last time you thought
you could see the future,
144
00:05:53,608 --> 00:05:55,643
you said that Rodney would have
the best party.
145
00:05:55,677 --> 00:05:58,178
But his parents came home early
and ruined the whole thing.
146
00:05:58,212 --> 00:05:59,246
(doorbell rings)
147
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,548
It's here!
148
00:06:04,419 --> 00:06:07,554
One Rowflex and five
containers of protein powder.
149
00:06:08,889 --> 00:06:11,991
Thanks to all this,
I'm about to become a jock!
150
00:06:12,026 --> 00:06:13,526
(gasping)
151
00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:24,436
You're never gonna use
any of that stuff!
152
00:06:24,470 --> 00:06:26,271
Of course I'm gonna use it!
153
00:06:26,305 --> 00:06:28,773
And I'm starting with
a protein shake right now.
154
00:06:28,807 --> 00:06:32,377
(grunting)
155
00:06:32,411 --> 00:06:33,445
Mom?
156
00:06:33,479 --> 00:06:35,113
All right, give it to me.
157
00:06:35,147 --> 00:06:36,680
(gasping)
158
00:06:38,583 --> 00:06:41,718
I see a desperate man
with a clip-on tie...
159
00:06:41,752 --> 00:06:42,986
a set of keys...
160
00:06:43,020 --> 00:06:45,055
Francine, you're getting
a new car!
161
00:06:45,090 --> 00:06:47,057
That's ridiculous, Roger.
162
00:06:47,092 --> 00:06:49,493
I just got a new car
and I love it.
163
00:06:49,527 --> 00:06:52,161
It's the same car
that Matt Damon drove
164
00:06:52,196 --> 00:06:53,496
in We Bought a Zoo.
165
00:06:53,530 --> 00:06:57,266
I like to drive around and
pretend I have zoo problems.
166
00:06:57,301 --> 00:06:59,902
"Oh, my God, what am I
gonna do about my zoo?"
167
00:06:59,936 --> 00:07:00,970
Right?
168
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:02,171
It's time!
169
00:07:02,206 --> 00:07:05,040
Everybody ready to go
to the American Safety Museum?
170
00:07:05,075 --> 00:07:07,843
Interesting. It says here
autoerotic asphyxiation
171
00:07:07,877 --> 00:07:10,245
is the number one
cause of awkward funerals.
172
00:07:10,279 --> 00:07:11,546
Ooh, they have a picture?
173
00:07:20,389 --> 00:07:22,724
Oh, my God, you can't go!
174
00:07:22,758 --> 00:07:24,391
Horrible things will happen!
175
00:07:24,426 --> 00:07:25,526
Roger, what could happen?
176
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,094
It's the Safety Museum.
177
00:07:27,129 --> 00:07:29,530
Yeah, it's not like
it's the Natural History Museum,
178
00:07:29,564 --> 00:07:31,798
full of dangerous ideas
and attitudes.
179
00:07:31,833 --> 00:07:34,935
Ignore him, Stan.
We can take my car.
180
00:07:37,809 --> 00:07:40,773
You have to believe me!
You're making a huge mistake!
181
00:07:40,807 --> 00:07:41,949
Were you talking to me?
182
00:07:42,069 --> 00:07:43,715
'Cause I was only gonna try
it this once.
183
00:07:43,835 --> 00:07:45,407
I have a paper due
in the morning.
184
00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:58,506
You have been randomly
selected for racial profiling.
185
00:07:58,633 --> 00:08:00,767
Hoo-hoo-hoo,
this is so real!
186
00:08:00,802 --> 00:08:03,704
Stan, this museum
has some great exhibits.
187
00:08:03,738 --> 00:08:06,440
Yeah, let's go check out
the "Kobe Bryant Encounter."
188
00:08:06,474 --> 00:08:09,275
Do you want to come
up to my hotel room?
189
00:08:09,310 --> 00:08:10,409
Sure!
190
00:08:10,444 --> 00:08:12,378
(siren wails)
I think we should move on.
191
00:08:12,412 --> 00:08:15,781
No, I know I can get this!
192
00:08:15,816 --> 00:08:18,517
Do you want to come
up to my hotel room?
193
00:08:18,552 --> 00:08:21,354
As long as you have a T-shirt
I can sleep in.
194
00:08:21,388 --> 00:08:23,021
Forget it. This is impossible.
195
00:08:25,425 --> 00:08:27,792
Is this an exhibit,
or is this just a wet floor?
196
00:08:27,827 --> 00:08:29,427
I don't know.
I just started.
197
00:08:29,462 --> 00:08:31,363
The last tour guide
got fired yesterday.
198
00:08:31,397 --> 00:08:33,130
She was not happy.
199
00:08:33,165 --> 00:08:35,066
Hey, there she is. Hi, Helen!
200
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:38,236
Safety off!
201
00:08:38,270 --> 00:08:40,472
We gotta get out of here!
202
00:08:41,774 --> 00:08:44,608
It's just a really good replica
of an emergency exit!
203
00:08:44,642 --> 00:08:46,877
It's so accurate!
204
00:08:52,717 --> 00:08:55,051
This isn't real either!
205
00:08:55,086 --> 00:08:56,286
None of it's real!
206
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:59,154
There are no actual safety
precautions in this museum!
207
00:08:59,189 --> 00:09:00,890
What do we do?!
208
00:09:00,924 --> 00:09:02,558
I'll tell you what to do...
209
00:09:02,593 --> 00:09:03,993
if you're ready to listen.
210
00:09:04,027 --> 00:09:05,595
Roger! What are you
doing here?!
211
00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:07,597
Don't worry, I know everything
that's gonna happen.
212
00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:08,898
Hayley, take the traffic cones
213
00:09:08,932 --> 00:09:10,800
and make them
into a "U" over there!
214
00:09:10,834 --> 00:09:12,201
Francine, grab that wheelchair!
215
00:09:12,235 --> 00:09:13,703
Stan, get
that fire extinguisher!
216
00:09:13,737 --> 00:09:15,704
Steve, put
that bulletproof vest on!
217
00:09:15,738 --> 00:09:18,774
Wait a minute,
shouldn't we all get vests?
218
00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:23,077
I wrote this 14 minutes ago,
219
00:09:23,112 --> 00:09:24,212
because in my vision,
220
00:09:24,246 --> 00:09:26,114
you asked me that
exact stupid question.
221
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:28,049
Now do what I say!
222
00:09:34,989 --> 00:09:36,724
(people screaming)
223
00:09:39,260 --> 00:09:41,128
Oh, no,
they're gonna trample us!
224
00:09:41,162 --> 00:09:42,897
ROGER:
Just stay behind the cones!
225
00:09:48,803 --> 00:09:50,603
Oh, my God, it hurts!
226
00:09:50,638 --> 00:09:52,806
Why didn't you just have me
stand somewhere else?!
227
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:55,141
Less fun.
Everybody climb on!
228
00:09:57,077 --> 00:09:59,145
(Francine screams)
229
00:10:02,349 --> 00:10:04,716
(Steve gasps)
230
00:10:06,753 --> 00:10:08,887
Oh, my God, Roger, you saved...
231
00:10:08,922 --> 00:10:11,523
Hold on.
Wait for it.
232
00:10:11,558 --> 00:10:13,725
(car alarm wails)
233
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:15,293
My car!
234
00:10:15,328 --> 00:10:18,396
And I'm pretty sure that
warrants a trip to Cold Stone.
235
00:10:18,431 --> 00:10:21,065
Roger, you were right
about everything!
236
00:10:21,099 --> 00:10:22,900
We should have listened to you.
237
00:10:22,935 --> 00:10:24,335
Oh, I'll accept your apology.
238
00:10:24,369 --> 00:10:27,171
And the lanyard you made me
at Camp Shoulda Woulda Coulda.
239
00:10:27,205 --> 00:10:29,807
I can't believe that Roger can
see the future.
240
00:10:29,842 --> 00:10:31,041
Now hold on.
241
00:10:31,076 --> 00:10:32,977
I don't know if it proves that.
242
00:10:33,011 --> 00:10:34,711
You know that note I gave you?
243
00:10:34,745 --> 00:10:35,879
Turn it over.
244
00:10:35,913 --> 00:10:37,647
This is my cell phone number.
245
00:10:37,682 --> 00:10:40,083
Excuse me, Miss.
Are you all right?
246
00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:42,151
Light him up, girl.
247
00:10:42,186 --> 00:10:43,753
He's not gonna call.
248
00:10:43,788 --> 00:10:45,555
He thinks you could
lose ten pounds.
249
00:10:45,590 --> 00:10:47,190
But that's not why
he doesn't call.
250
00:10:47,224 --> 00:10:48,625
He dies in that fire.
251
00:10:48,659 --> 00:10:51,460
So you didn't need to tell me
about the ten pounds.
252
00:10:51,495 --> 00:10:53,161
Somebody needed to tell you.
253
00:10:56,700 --> 00:10:59,702
I can't believe Roger
can predict the future.
254
00:10:59,736 --> 00:11:01,069
Yeah, but, like,
255
00:11:01,104 --> 00:11:02,938
compared to people
from the past,
256
00:11:02,973 --> 00:11:04,707
like, to them,
257
00:11:04,741 --> 00:11:06,841
like, we are the
future to them.
258
00:11:06,876 --> 00:11:08,109
(exhales)
259
00:11:08,143 --> 00:11:10,111
I'm definitely feeling it now.
260
00:11:10,145 --> 00:11:11,112
(door opens)
261
00:11:11,146 --> 00:11:12,714
That was amazing, Roger!
262
00:11:12,748 --> 00:11:14,382
See what happens
when you listen to me?
263
00:11:14,416 --> 00:11:15,717
He picked every horse!
264
00:11:15,751 --> 00:11:17,351
Roger's unbelievable!
265
00:11:17,386 --> 00:11:19,506
- He... - Knew that you'd want to eat
chili dogs for lunch.
266
00:11:19,522 --> 00:11:21,022
And then he...
Knew in the third race
267
00:11:21,056 --> 00:11:23,490
it'd take three bullets to put
down Daddy's Lucky Girl.
268
00:11:23,525 --> 00:11:25,458
And now I'm...
Getting tired of me interrupting you?
269
00:11:25,493 --> 00:11:26,793
(gasps) How did you...
Know?
270
00:11:26,828 --> 00:11:28,829
You just gave me goose bumps!
271
00:11:28,863 --> 00:11:30,030
I love it!
272
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,698
Speaking of love, Roger,
273
00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:33,333
there's another girl
in my class
274
00:11:33,367 --> 00:11:34,835
I think I have
a pretty good shot with.
275
00:11:34,869 --> 00:11:36,436
Oh?
Well, allow me.
276
00:11:36,470 --> 00:11:37,504
Come here, you...
277
00:11:37,539 --> 00:11:39,539
(moaning)
278
00:11:44,444 --> 00:11:45,444
(laughs)
279
00:11:49,082 --> 00:11:51,651
(laughs)
280
00:11:51,685 --> 00:11:52,752
Roger, what's so funny?
281
00:11:52,786 --> 00:11:53,753
Nothing.
282
00:11:53,787 --> 00:11:55,020
I say go for it.
283
00:11:57,557 --> 00:12:00,391
(laughing)
284
00:12:00,426 --> 00:12:02,594
Hey, uh, I was gonna go
take a dip in the pool.
285
00:12:02,628 --> 00:12:04,529
How-how's that
work out for me?
286
00:12:04,564 --> 00:12:06,464
Stan, I'm not wasting
my gift on that.
287
00:12:06,498 --> 00:12:07,465
Come on, Roger.
288
00:12:07,499 --> 00:12:09,133
Touch it.
289
00:12:09,168 --> 00:12:10,568
You drop a load in the pool.
290
00:12:10,602 --> 00:12:11,569
Wait, no.
291
00:12:11,603 --> 00:12:13,203
It's a Baby Ruth.
Wait, no.
292
00:12:13,237 --> 00:12:14,838
That's a scene
from Caddyshack...
293
00:12:14,873 --> 00:12:16,440
which I'm trying to watch.
294
00:12:16,474 --> 00:12:17,841
Do I end up
watching it with you?
295
00:12:17,876 --> 00:12:19,843
Yes, and you annoy me
the whole time
296
00:12:19,878 --> 00:12:20,844
with your questions.
297
00:12:20,879 --> 00:12:22,646
Oh.
298
00:12:22,681 --> 00:12:24,915
What kind of questions?
299
00:12:24,950 --> 00:12:26,616
(sighs)
300
00:12:29,152 --> 00:12:30,987
Roger, am I gonna
like this salad?
301
00:12:31,021 --> 00:12:32,421
Should I be taking
smaller bites?
302
00:12:32,456 --> 00:12:34,223
Roger, am I about to say
something funny?
303
00:12:34,257 --> 00:12:35,625
I want to say something funny.
304
00:12:35,659 --> 00:12:37,293
Is that enough?
305
00:12:37,327 --> 00:12:39,395
Is... is... is-is that...
306
00:12:39,429 --> 00:12:40,730
Is that too much?
307
00:12:40,764 --> 00:12:41,864
How... how 'bout...
how 'bout now?
308
00:12:41,899 --> 00:12:43,599
Steve, dump that and get
yourself another salad.
309
00:12:43,633 --> 00:12:44,866
Why?
310
00:12:44,901 --> 00:12:46,367
Does something happen
to me if I eat this salad?
311
00:12:46,402 --> 00:12:48,003
No, I'm just using
common sense.
312
00:12:48,037 --> 00:12:50,472
Well, can't you just have
a vision so I can be sure?
313
00:12:50,506 --> 00:12:51,873
So it doesn't matter
what I think?
314
00:12:51,908 --> 00:12:53,308
No, we don't care
what you think,
315
00:12:53,342 --> 00:12:55,343
we care what you see.
316
00:12:56,512 --> 00:12:57,779
Well, fine.
317
00:12:57,814 --> 00:12:59,146
If that's all you're after...
318
00:12:59,180 --> 00:13:01,148
Wait, where are you going?
319
00:13:01,182 --> 00:13:02,316
Should we go with you?
320
00:13:02,350 --> 00:13:04,551
Should I have even
left the kitchen?
321
00:13:04,586 --> 00:13:06,220
Look, no more questions.
322
00:13:06,254 --> 00:13:07,588
I need to take
a thinkin' drive.
323
00:13:07,623 --> 00:13:08,823
Wait, wait, you can't leave!
324
00:13:08,857 --> 00:13:09,957
I have homework tonight!
325
00:13:09,992 --> 00:13:11,291
Is it gonna be
on the test tomorrow
326
00:13:11,326 --> 00:13:12,292
or can I blow it off?
327
00:13:12,327 --> 00:13:13,861
Should I take a bath tonight
328
00:13:13,895 --> 00:13:15,895
or will I fall
asleep and drown?
329
00:13:15,930 --> 00:13:16,997
Do I have to go
to the bathroom?
330
00:13:17,031 --> 00:13:18,271
Look, you guys are on your own.
331
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,265
I'm outta here.
332
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,867
At least let us come with you!
333
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,002
No, you should...
334
00:13:22,036 --> 00:13:23,302
you should... you should
probably stay here.
335
00:13:23,337 --> 00:13:25,438
Why? Are we all gonna die
if we come with you?
336
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:26,840
Yes.
337
00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:28,174
That.
338
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:29,509
You're all gonna die
339
00:13:29,543 --> 00:13:31,576
if you leave the house.
340
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:33,411
Slam that door if
I get really rich soon!
341
00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:38,283
Oh, so close!
342
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,387
Well, I wanted them
to listen to me.
343
00:13:42,421 --> 00:13:44,589
Didn't work out so well,
though, did it?
344
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:46,658
No, sir.
345
00:13:46,692 --> 00:13:48,259
There might be a lesson
to learn from this
346
00:13:48,293 --> 00:13:50,028
if I were the kind of guy
who could learn lessons.
347
00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:51,529
But lessons are not for me.
348
00:13:51,563 --> 00:13:53,064
Lessons are for school boys.
349
00:13:53,098 --> 00:13:54,365
School boys are for me!
350
00:13:54,399 --> 00:13:55,366
Red light!
351
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,434
(crashing)
352
00:14:03,141 --> 00:14:05,275
Ah, what a restful coma.
353
00:14:05,792 --> 00:14:06,798
How long have I been out?
354
00:14:06,918 --> 00:14:07,878
Three weeks.
355
00:14:07,912 --> 00:14:09,880
We would have been able
to revive you sooner,
356
00:14:09,914 --> 00:14:12,081
but Dr. Stack was
the coma expert
357
00:14:12,115 --> 00:14:14,150
and he got fired
and sued into poverty
358
00:14:14,185 --> 00:14:16,686
by a grieving widow and
her Rastafarian fianc?.
359
00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:17,853
Huh.
360
00:14:17,888 --> 00:14:19,855
So... can I get
an orange juice,
361
00:14:19,890 --> 00:14:22,258
or is there a long-ass
story about that, too?
362
00:14:22,293 --> 00:14:23,493
Lunch'll be here in 20 minutes.
363
00:14:23,527 --> 00:14:24,627
You can wait till then.
364
00:14:24,662 --> 00:14:25,961
Hmm.
Nice attitude.
365
00:14:25,996 --> 00:14:28,096
Let's see how you die!
366
00:14:28,130 --> 00:14:29,264
Wait!
367
00:14:29,299 --> 00:14:30,420
I'm not getting any visions.
368
00:14:30,433 --> 00:14:32,534
My powers are gone!
369
00:14:32,569 --> 00:14:34,903
But I haven't lost mine.
370
00:14:34,937 --> 00:14:37,573
ANNOUNCER:
Mind Quad!
371
00:14:37,607 --> 00:14:40,209
Sounds like you're
thirsty, friend.
372
00:14:48,183 --> 00:14:50,184
(tires squeal)
373
00:14:51,587 --> 00:14:53,621
I'm not gonna drink from
the same glass as him.
374
00:14:53,655 --> 00:14:54,888
He's gross.
375
00:15:00,698 --> 00:15:03,400
So you had powers
and now you lost them?
376
00:15:03,434 --> 00:15:04,601
It's like me.
377
00:15:04,635 --> 00:15:06,270
In my country, I'm doctor.
378
00:15:06,304 --> 00:15:07,637
Really?
What kind of doctor?
379
00:15:07,672 --> 00:15:09,572
Dah, you caught me.
380
00:15:09,607 --> 00:15:10,908
I'm lying.
381
00:15:13,343 --> 00:15:14,677
What the...
382
00:15:14,711 --> 00:15:16,312
(gasps)
383
00:15:16,346 --> 00:15:18,080
Roger, thank God you're back!
384
00:15:18,115 --> 00:15:19,415
Everybody, Roger's back!
385
00:15:19,449 --> 00:15:21,750
Oh, Roger, what a relief!
386
00:15:21,785 --> 00:15:23,820
We don't have
to be scared anymore.
387
00:15:23,854 --> 00:15:26,722
Yeah, maybe we can
leave the house now.
388
00:15:26,756 --> 00:15:27,889
Wait a minute.
389
00:15:27,924 --> 00:15:29,564
You haven't left
the house in three weeks?
390
00:15:29,591 --> 00:15:31,592
You told us we'd
all die if we did.
391
00:15:31,627 --> 00:15:33,561
And all of your
fortunes have come true!
392
00:15:33,595 --> 00:15:35,563
Huh.
I guess I did say that.
393
00:15:35,597 --> 00:15:36,898
But how have you survived?
394
00:15:36,933 --> 00:15:38,133
It hasn't been easy.
395
00:15:38,167 --> 00:15:39,868
The toilet paper ran
out before the food,
396
00:15:39,902 --> 00:15:41,102
so that was gross.
397
00:15:41,137 --> 00:15:42,904
But when we started
eating the couch,
398
00:15:42,939 --> 00:15:44,179
we stopped needing
toilet paper.
399
00:15:44,206 --> 00:15:46,240
The stuffing wipes
itself on the way out.
400
00:15:46,274 --> 00:15:47,875
Okay, this is bad.
401
00:15:47,909 --> 00:15:49,409
Wait, wait, where's Klaus?
402
00:15:49,444 --> 00:15:50,577
KLAUS:
I'm right here.
403
00:15:50,611 --> 00:15:52,546
Oh, my God, Klaus,
404
00:15:52,580 --> 00:15:54,014
you're living in
your own filth.
405
00:15:54,049 --> 00:15:55,282
KLAUS:
I try not to talk
406
00:15:55,317 --> 00:15:56,717
so it doesn't get in my mouth.
407
00:15:56,751 --> 00:15:58,552
(coughs)
408
00:15:58,586 --> 00:16:00,386
Ugh, it got in my mouth.
409
00:16:00,420 --> 00:16:02,021
Brissam beeginch?
410
00:16:02,056 --> 00:16:03,056
R-Rettehsat?
411
00:16:03,090 --> 00:16:04,590
Okay, what is that?
412
00:16:04,624 --> 00:16:07,927
Oh, in your absence
Steve's forgotten English.
413
00:16:07,962 --> 00:16:09,095
Eng...
414
00:16:09,129 --> 00:16:10,696
Engrish.
415
00:16:10,731 --> 00:16:12,999
How did my absence
in any way affect
416
00:16:13,033 --> 00:16:15,034
Steve's handle on
the English language?
417
00:16:15,069 --> 00:16:16,568
I haven't even
been gone a month.
418
00:16:16,602 --> 00:16:18,536
Steve...
419
00:16:18,571 --> 00:16:20,405
Mo-onth.
420
00:16:20,439 --> 00:16:21,406
All right, all right.
421
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:22,807
Before I left, I told you guys
422
00:16:22,842 --> 00:16:24,542
not to leave the house
and you embraced it.
423
00:16:24,577 --> 00:16:25,911
Now I'm telling you you'll die
424
00:16:25,945 --> 00:16:27,479
if you don't get
out of this house.
425
00:16:27,513 --> 00:16:28,747
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
426
00:16:28,781 --> 00:16:29,948
Don't you want to
have a vision,
427
00:16:29,983 --> 00:16:31,049
make sure it's safe?
428
00:16:31,084 --> 00:16:32,416
Oh, uh, yeah, sure.
429
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:33,885
(moaning)
430
00:16:33,919 --> 00:16:35,987
Yes, my vision says
you will be super safe.
431
00:16:36,021 --> 00:16:37,421
Get out there!
432
00:16:48,266 --> 00:16:50,233
Soba slasha on...
433
00:16:50,268 --> 00:16:51,234
Steve's right.
434
00:16:51,269 --> 00:16:52,769
It's just the sprinklers.
435
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,237
(chirping)
436
00:16:55,940 --> 00:16:57,173
Whoops.
437
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:00,476
Flaps flaps ze zap zap!
438
00:17:00,511 --> 00:17:02,645
It's not safe!
It's not safe!
439
00:17:02,679 --> 00:17:03,646
We almost got killed.
440
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,114
(screams)
441
00:17:05,148 --> 00:17:06,115
Steve's right.
442
00:17:06,149 --> 00:17:07,849
You lied to us.
443
00:17:07,884 --> 00:17:09,385
Uch, you got me.
444
00:17:09,419 --> 00:17:10,619
I lost my powers.
445
00:17:10,653 --> 00:17:12,254
Now we can go back
to our normal lives.
446
00:17:12,289 --> 00:17:13,255
Isn't that great?
447
00:17:13,290 --> 00:17:14,556
No, it's not great!
448
00:17:14,590 --> 00:17:16,625
Without your powers,
we have no idea
449
00:17:16,659 --> 00:17:18,693
what dangers are lurking
outside this house!
450
00:17:18,728 --> 00:17:21,095
Yeah, but there is nothing
you can do about it.
451
00:17:22,697 --> 00:17:24,332
How useless was that Costco
452
00:17:24,366 --> 00:17:26,500
five-pack of hammers now,
Francine?
453
00:17:26,535 --> 00:17:28,669
KLAUS:
Look, I'm helping!
454
00:17:28,703 --> 00:17:30,171
You guys, listen...
455
00:17:30,205 --> 00:17:32,206
(thud, growling)
456
00:17:33,275 --> 00:17:34,508
Oh, my God, what was that?
457
00:17:34,543 --> 00:17:35,509
I don't know!
458
00:17:35,544 --> 00:17:36,509
Let's hide in the basement!
459
00:17:36,544 --> 00:17:38,111
Steve, your English is back.
460
00:17:38,146 --> 00:17:40,147
Oh, I was just doing that
to make you guys laugh.
461
00:17:41,615 --> 00:17:42,615
(thud)
462
00:17:46,321 --> 00:17:47,620
My protein powder!
463
00:17:47,655 --> 00:17:48,755
There are tracks in it.
464
00:17:48,789 --> 00:17:50,824
We got tracks!
465
00:17:53,060 --> 00:17:54,360
(Steve gasps)
466
00:17:54,394 --> 00:17:55,561
Somebody used my Rowflex!
467
00:17:55,595 --> 00:17:57,863
And it's set to
the highest strength level.
468
00:17:57,897 --> 00:17:58,864
Cuddles!
469
00:17:58,898 --> 00:18:00,099
I forgot about him.
470
00:18:00,133 --> 00:18:01,100
He must've escaped.
471
00:18:01,134 --> 00:18:02,368
Wait a minute.
472
00:18:02,402 --> 00:18:04,403
You don't think he
got into my protein powder
473
00:18:04,438 --> 00:18:05,804
and then started and stuck with
474
00:18:05,839 --> 00:18:07,506
a hard-core workout regimen,
do you?
475
00:18:07,540 --> 00:18:11,209
Oh, God, how big do you think
he could have gotten?
476
00:18:11,243 --> 00:18:13,211
Hmm, I'd say about
eight feet tall.
477
00:18:13,245 --> 00:18:14,479
Oh, how do you know?
478
00:18:14,513 --> 00:18:16,081
Did you have a vision of it?
479
00:18:16,115 --> 00:18:18,083
He's standing right there.
480
00:18:18,117 --> 00:18:19,584
(snarls)
481
00:18:19,618 --> 00:18:20,618
ROGER:
Run!
482
00:18:22,721 --> 00:18:24,721
(Cuddles snarling)
483
00:18:26,424 --> 00:18:27,657
You know what?
484
00:18:27,692 --> 00:18:28,892
I think we can make this work.
485
00:18:28,893 --> 00:18:30,794
We'll just all live here
the rest of our lives.
486
00:18:30,828 --> 00:18:31,962
I call the tub!
487
00:18:31,997 --> 00:18:33,597
You guys are ready to live
488
00:18:33,631 --> 00:18:35,599
the rest of your lives
in this bathroom?
489
00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:38,335
Sounds like someone's
jealous of my tub.
490
00:18:38,370 --> 00:18:39,936
Don't you guys get it?
491
00:18:39,971 --> 00:18:42,038
Even if we could
stay alive in here,
492
00:18:42,072 --> 00:18:44,007
what kind of life would that be?
493
00:18:44,041 --> 00:18:46,009
Life is risky,
494
00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:48,444
but you have to get out there
and take chances anyway.
495
00:18:48,479 --> 00:18:49,712
Why should we listen to you?
496
00:18:49,746 --> 00:18:51,680
Well, maybe he's right.
497
00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:53,249
I mean, we can't
go through life
498
00:18:53,283 --> 00:18:54,884
without taking any risks.
499
00:18:54,918 --> 00:18:56,385
Yeah, it's like
when Eddie Murphy
500
00:18:56,419 --> 00:18:57,785
picked up that prostitute.
501
00:18:57,820 --> 00:18:59,021
But that was a man.
502
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:01,189
And he had a marvelous time.
503
00:19:01,224 --> 00:19:04,393
I'm just asking you
to listen to me this once.
504
00:19:06,129 --> 00:19:07,262
Okay.
505
00:19:07,296 --> 00:19:09,498
But how are we gonna
fight a giant raccoon?
506
00:19:09,532 --> 00:19:10,665
We don't have to fight it.
507
00:19:10,699 --> 00:19:12,699
All we have to do is
get out of the house.
508
00:19:12,734 --> 00:19:14,535
Quick, get the boards
off the door.
509
00:19:15,803 --> 00:19:17,071
We could really use
those hammers now,
510
00:19:17,105 --> 00:19:18,072
to pull these nails out.
511
00:19:18,106 --> 00:19:19,073
Anybody see one?
512
00:19:19,107 --> 00:19:20,107
(snarling) (all gasp)
513
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:24,311
Quick, everybody link arms.
514
00:19:24,346 --> 00:19:25,946
He'll think we're
a bigger animal.
515
00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:27,114
Hmm?
516
00:19:30,418 --> 00:19:32,519
(growls)
517
00:19:32,553 --> 00:19:34,820
(screams)
518
00:19:34,855 --> 00:19:36,389
Wait, Steve, that's good.
Ow, ow!
519
00:19:36,424 --> 00:19:37,390
Ah!
Keep doing that!
520
00:19:37,425 --> 00:19:38,391
Keep doing what?!
521
00:19:38,426 --> 00:19:39,926
He thinks you're food.
522
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,894
That'll distract him long enough
for us to get the boards off.
523
00:19:41,929 --> 00:19:43,329
Ow, ow!
524
00:19:43,364 --> 00:19:45,164
What if he bites off my arm?
525
00:19:45,198 --> 00:19:46,365
That's the risk!
526
00:19:46,399 --> 00:19:47,966
That's the risk
we're all taking!
527
00:19:49,936 --> 00:19:51,937
Yah!
528
00:19:55,942 --> 00:19:58,110
(growling)
529
00:19:58,144 --> 00:20:00,278
(moaning)
530
00:20:04,049 --> 00:20:05,316
(whimpers)
531
00:20:10,189 --> 00:20:12,957
He had a weirdly good body.
532
00:20:15,561 --> 00:20:17,695
I guess we owe you
a "thanks," Roger.
533
00:20:17,729 --> 00:20:20,130
It seems like knowing
what the future holds
534
00:20:20,164 --> 00:20:22,365
can really keep you from
living in the present.
535
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,668
Yeah, maybe sometimes
536
00:20:24,703 --> 00:20:26,971
it's not a bad idea
to listen to Roger.
537
00:20:27,005 --> 00:20:28,138
Damn right!
538
00:20:28,172 --> 00:20:29,840
Now, let's cover
ourselves in honey
539
00:20:29,874 --> 00:20:32,076
and run through Old Man
McGuilicutty's bear farm.
540
00:20:32,110 --> 00:20:34,510
This is not one of those times.
541
00:20:34,544 --> 00:20:36,813
Hey, can you drop me
off at the hospital?
542
00:20:37,815 --> 00:20:39,281
(fake moans)
543
00:20:39,316 --> 00:20:41,317
No, sorry, I don't
see that happening.
544
00:20:41,351 --> 00:20:42,619
(laughing):
I'm kidding.
545
00:20:42,653 --> 00:20:44,654
Come on, let's go, kid.
546
00:20:46,059 --> 00:20:47,848
Hey, hey, why you
smacking your tushie?
547
00:20:47,968 --> 00:20:50,438
Why you smacking your tushie?
Why you doing that?
548
00:20:50,558 --> 00:20:51,991
(chuckling):
Stop, stop! Stop it!
549
00:20:52,329 --> 00:20:59,524
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
550
00:20:59,574 --> 00:21:04,124
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38176
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