Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,672 --> 00:00:03,106
(upbeat march plays)
2
00:00:03,140 --> 00:00:05,808
Good morning, USA!
3
00:00:05,843 --> 00:00:09,746
I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day
4
00:00:09,780 --> 00:00:12,715
The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face
5
00:00:12,750 --> 00:00:17,153
And he's shining a salute
to the American race
6
00:00:19,023 --> 00:00:22,425
Oh, boy, it's swell to say
7
00:00:22,459 --> 00:00:24,427
Good...
Good morning, USA
8
00:00:24,461 --> 00:00:25,962
Aah!
9
00:00:26,082 --> 00:00:33,050
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
10
00:00:33,170 --> 00:00:34,437
I can't believe
we're eating here.
11
00:00:34,471 --> 00:00:36,072
This place is so demeaning.
12
00:00:36,106 --> 00:00:37,473
Well, when you
can afford to pay,
13
00:00:37,508 --> 00:00:38,708
you can pick the restaurant.
14
00:00:38,742 --> 00:00:41,177
But should that day ever
come-- and it won't--
15
00:00:41,212 --> 00:00:43,146
we'll still be coming here
for the same reason.
16
00:00:43,180 --> 00:00:45,148
Great pastrami!
17
00:00:45,182 --> 00:00:46,516
You're a pig.
18
00:00:46,550 --> 00:00:47,784
At least I'm not broke.
19
00:00:47,818 --> 00:00:49,152
At least I'm not a loser.
20
00:00:49,186 --> 00:00:50,253
I'm not a loser!
21
00:00:50,287 --> 00:00:53,022
Knock it off, you two!
22
00:00:53,057 --> 00:00:55,592
Hi, welcome to Boobers
where we got a Double D
23
00:00:55,626 --> 00:00:56,993
from the health department.
24
00:00:57,027 --> 00:00:58,094
Zoe?
25
00:00:58,128 --> 00:00:59,996
I-I haven't seen you
since high school.
26
00:01:00,030 --> 00:01:01,331
Oh, my God!
27
00:01:01,365 --> 00:01:02,565
Hayley!
28
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,801
Sorry, I try not
to make eye contact
29
00:01:04,835 --> 00:01:06,269
with my customers.
30
00:01:06,303 --> 00:01:08,371
They never make
eye contact with me.
31
00:01:08,405 --> 00:01:10,340
They should be ashamed
of themselves!
32
00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:12,809
You are not just some objects.
33
00:01:12,843 --> 00:01:15,345
Wow, it's been forever.
34
00:01:15,379 --> 00:01:16,779
So, where you living now?
35
00:01:16,814 --> 00:01:17,780
At home.
36
00:01:17,815 --> 00:01:19,515
Actually, I did move out
for a bit.
37
00:01:19,550 --> 00:01:21,017
To your boyfriend's van.
38
00:01:21,051 --> 00:01:24,354
You know, me and Kristen
and Danuta still hang out.
39
00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:26,689
We're all going
to the Skylark tonight.
40
00:01:26,724 --> 00:01:27,757
You should come.
41
00:01:27,791 --> 00:01:28,791
Yeah, that sounds fun.
42
00:01:28,826 --> 00:01:29,993
Great.
43
00:01:30,027 --> 00:01:31,594
I'll be back in a minute
to take your order.
44
00:01:31,629 --> 00:01:32,662
Hold on, lady.
45
00:01:32,696 --> 00:01:34,530
I'm actually here
on official business.
46
00:01:34,565 --> 00:01:36,499
F.B.I.
47
00:01:38,035 --> 00:01:40,837
I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to verify those alleged breasts.
48
00:01:40,871 --> 00:01:43,806
I'm not falling for this again.
49
00:01:43,841 --> 00:01:44,941
(beeps)
50
00:01:44,975 --> 00:01:47,443
Well, machine says
your I.D. checks out.
51
00:01:47,478 --> 00:01:50,246
Why do you guys
keep hassling me?
52
00:01:50,281 --> 00:01:52,148
Zoe, don't!
This is fake.
53
00:01:52,182 --> 00:01:53,149
My brother made it.
54
00:01:53,183 --> 00:01:54,717
Boo!
Boo!
55
00:01:54,752 --> 00:01:56,119
Let me ask you.
56
00:01:56,153 --> 00:01:59,022
How do your parents feel
about you working here?
57
00:01:59,056 --> 00:02:00,256
Hey, how's everyone doing?
58
00:02:00,291 --> 00:02:02,892
You enjoying my
little girl's boobs?
59
00:02:02,926 --> 00:02:05,194
60
00:02:05,229 --> 00:02:06,596
Thanks for inviting
me out, guys.
61
00:02:06,630 --> 00:02:08,364
It's so fun hanging out again.
62
00:02:08,399 --> 00:02:10,166
Well, it's a little
early to say that,
63
00:02:12,169 --> 00:02:13,369
MAN:
I.D.'s.
64
00:02:13,404 --> 00:02:14,537
They're carding?
65
00:02:14,571 --> 00:02:16,706
You don't have
a fake I.D.?
66
00:02:16,740 --> 00:02:18,708
You got to go to Kevin Ramage.
67
00:02:18,742 --> 00:02:20,510
He'll make you one
for 200 bucks.
68
00:02:20,544 --> 00:02:22,345
Plus you got to
make out with him.
69
00:02:22,379 --> 00:02:23,613
What?
70
00:02:23,647 --> 00:02:25,715
I-I can't afford $200.
71
00:02:25,749 --> 00:02:27,884
Oh, bummer.
72
00:02:27,918 --> 00:02:30,453
I guess we'll
catch you later then.
73
00:02:30,487 --> 00:02:33,389
You were right, she
was too optimistic.
74
00:02:33,424 --> 00:02:35,024
I know a club
that doesn't card.
75
00:02:35,059 --> 00:02:38,961
The club of Jesus Christ
of Latter-Day Saints.
76
00:02:38,996 --> 00:02:40,897
Hey, how's the tail
in there tonight?
77
00:02:40,931 --> 00:02:42,932
Fine as hell, dawg.
78
00:02:48,172 --> 00:02:49,439
(deep breath)
79
00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:51,808
(exhales)
80
00:02:53,410 --> 00:02:54,777
Hey, buddy.
81
00:02:54,812 --> 00:02:57,113
It's called Fortress
of Solitude,
82
00:02:57,147 --> 00:02:58,748
not Fortress of Come On In.
83
00:02:58,782 --> 00:03:00,049
Oh, right.
84
00:03:00,084 --> 00:03:01,684
Star Trek Wars.
85
00:03:01,719 --> 00:03:02,819
(imitates lasers firing)
86
00:03:02,853 --> 00:03:03,820
I can't even...
87
00:03:03,854 --> 00:03:04,821
First of all...
88
00:03:04,855 --> 00:03:06,122
You're-you're not...
89
00:03:06,156 --> 00:03:08,091
(groans)
What do you want?
90
00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:09,959
I just wanted to say
how impressed I was
91
00:03:09,993 --> 00:03:11,861
with your Federal Boobie
Inspector card.
92
00:03:11,895 --> 00:03:14,230
And I was wondering
if you could maybe do
93
00:03:14,264 --> 00:03:16,099
a fake driver's license for me?
94
00:03:16,133 --> 00:03:17,100
Yeah?
95
00:03:17,134 --> 00:03:18,801
Oh, I-I thought
I was a loser.
96
00:03:18,836 --> 00:03:20,737
You know who
the real losers are, Steve?
97
00:03:20,771 --> 00:03:24,240
The ones who stay angry
after being called losers.
98
00:03:24,274 --> 00:03:26,275
Okay, I'll do it.
99
00:03:27,277 --> 00:03:29,078
(sotto voce):
What a loser.
100
00:03:29,113 --> 00:03:31,080
101
00:03:31,115 --> 00:03:33,349
Oh, you got a fake I.D.?
102
00:03:33,384 --> 00:03:35,318
I didn't think
you could afford one.
103
00:03:35,352 --> 00:03:36,719
(laughs)
That's funny.
104
00:03:36,754 --> 00:03:38,488
And, you know who would
love that joke?
105
00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,256
My butler,
but he wouldn't laugh,
106
00:03:40,290 --> 00:03:42,291
because he's a great butler.
107
00:03:43,761 --> 00:03:46,362
(beeps)
108
00:03:46,397 --> 00:03:48,731
Wait, you're scanning
I.D.'s now?
109
00:03:48,766 --> 00:03:50,099
We're cracking down ever since
110
00:03:50,134 --> 00:03:52,635
that toddler died
of alcohol poisoning.
111
00:03:52,669 --> 00:03:55,204
They teach you a lot of
things in bouncer school,
112
00:03:55,239 --> 00:03:58,608
but they don't teach you
how to live with a mistake.
113
00:03:58,642 --> 00:04:00,343
(beeps)
Nope.
114
00:04:00,377 --> 00:04:02,378
(beeps)
Nope.
115
00:04:02,413 --> 00:04:05,014
(beeps)
Nope.
116
00:04:05,048 --> 00:04:06,783
(beeps)
Yep.
117
00:04:06,817 --> 00:04:08,484
Go on in.
118
00:04:08,519 --> 00:04:10,853
Hayley, wow.
119
00:04:10,888 --> 00:04:12,455
Did Ramage make you that?
120
00:04:12,489 --> 00:04:13,856
No, I got my own guy.
121
00:04:13,891 --> 00:04:16,125
Yo, can your guy make
me a certification
122
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:17,560
to be a heart surgeon?
123
00:04:17,594 --> 00:04:19,395
'Cause my mama's
got a bad heart,
124
00:04:19,430 --> 00:04:21,931
and I just know I could
do something about it
125
00:04:21,965 --> 00:04:24,767
if I could just get in there.
126
00:04:27,304 --> 00:04:28,671
HAYLEY:
Hey, buddy.
127
00:04:28,705 --> 00:04:29,906
Not now.
128
00:04:31,542 --> 00:04:34,610
You-you'll have
to excuse me.
129
00:04:34,645 --> 00:04:35,945
We've had a lot of trouble
130
00:04:35,979 --> 00:04:38,281
with kids breaking in
and building blanket forts.
131
00:04:38,315 --> 00:04:40,450
Steve, my friends here
would like
132
00:04:40,484 --> 00:04:42,185
to buy some
fake I.D.'s from you.
133
00:04:42,219 --> 00:04:43,686
Buy fake I.D.'s?
134
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:46,689
Hayley, can I talk to you
in private for a minute?
135
00:04:50,427 --> 00:04:52,829
Hayley, what you're suggesting
could get us in deep trouble.
136
00:04:52,863 --> 00:04:55,097
You're selling fake I.D.'s
to teenagers.
137
00:04:55,132 --> 00:04:57,200
At most, you'd get
a slap on the wrist.
138
00:04:57,234 --> 00:04:58,267
Aah!
139
00:04:58,302 --> 00:04:59,802
But I use my wrists
all the time.
140
00:04:59,837 --> 00:05:01,737
Steve, you won't get
in trouble.
141
00:05:01,772 --> 00:05:04,073
I mean, with your talent
and my distribution network,
142
00:05:04,107 --> 00:05:06,175
do you know how much money
we could make?
143
00:05:06,210 --> 00:05:07,743
I don't know.
144
00:05:07,778 --> 00:05:09,812
Maybe this'll convince you.
145
00:05:09,847 --> 00:05:11,747
All right, he'll
do your I.D.'s.
146
00:05:11,782 --> 00:05:13,683
But first he's got
to do his day job.
147
00:05:13,717 --> 00:05:16,252
He's a licensed
Federal Boobie Inspector.
148
00:05:16,286 --> 00:05:18,287
Ladies.
149
00:05:21,925 --> 00:05:23,659
I'm taking on a lot
of risk here.
150
00:05:23,694 --> 00:05:26,262
You mind asking them
to jump up and down?
151
00:05:26,296 --> 00:05:28,264
("Legal Tender" by The B-52s
playing)
152
00:05:35,305 --> 00:05:37,373
We're in the basement
153
00:05:37,407 --> 00:05:39,308
Learning to print
154
00:05:39,343 --> 00:05:41,010
All of it's hot
155
00:05:42,145 --> 00:05:45,114
10, 20, 30 million
ready to be spent
156
00:05:45,148 --> 00:05:46,883
We're stackin'
'em against the wall
157
00:05:46,917 --> 00:05:48,284
Those gangster presidents
158
00:05:48,318 --> 00:05:50,253
159
00:05:55,058 --> 00:05:58,461
Livin' simple
and trying to get by
160
00:05:58,495 --> 00:06:01,964
But, honey, prices have shot
through the sky
161
00:06:01,999 --> 00:06:05,034
So I fixed up the basement
162
00:06:05,068 --> 00:06:07,837
With what
I was a-workin' with
163
00:06:07,871 --> 00:06:11,140
Stocked it full
of jelly jars
164
00:06:11,174 --> 00:06:14,544
And heavy equipment
165
00:06:14,578 --> 00:06:17,280
(fades):
We're in the basement...
166
00:06:17,314 --> 00:06:18,714
Thank you.
167
00:06:18,749 --> 00:06:20,783
We'll call your fake name
when it's ready.
168
00:06:24,187 --> 00:06:25,488
Next!
169
00:06:25,522 --> 00:06:26,522
Roger?
170
00:06:26,557 --> 00:06:28,491
The name is Kevin Ramage.
171
00:06:28,525 --> 00:06:29,892
Roger?
172
00:06:29,927 --> 00:06:31,761
I'm only doing this
one more time.
173
00:06:31,795 --> 00:06:34,430
The name is Kevin Ramage.
174
00:06:34,464 --> 00:06:37,099
Word on the street is you're
horning in on my business.
175
00:06:37,134 --> 00:06:39,802
Yeah, well, word on the street
is your product sucks.
176
00:06:39,836 --> 00:06:41,804
Yeah, well, word on the street
is I don't have a comeback
177
00:06:41,838 --> 00:06:44,340
for that, but what I do have
are these brawny sidemen.
178
00:06:44,374 --> 00:06:46,042
Show them the rough stuff, boys!
179
00:06:46,076 --> 00:06:48,311
(grunting)
180
00:06:48,345 --> 00:06:49,912
If you don't get out
of my territory,
181
00:06:49,947 --> 00:06:51,314
this is gonna be you.
182
00:06:51,348 --> 00:06:52,648
Get lost, Ramage.
183
00:06:52,683 --> 00:06:55,184
Yeah, there's
a new counterfeiter in town.
184
00:06:55,218 --> 00:06:56,786
And his name is Steve.
185
00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:59,088
No, Hayley, I've given
a lot of thought to this.
186
00:06:59,122 --> 00:07:00,623
From now on,
187
00:07:00,657 --> 00:07:03,392
my name is Guttenberg.
188
00:07:03,427 --> 00:07:05,962
Oh, like the inventor
of the printing press?
189
00:07:05,996 --> 00:07:08,397
Steve Guttenberg invented
the printing press?
190
00:07:08,432 --> 00:07:10,666
Okay, guys, I believe
we've made our point.
191
00:07:10,701 --> 00:07:13,202
And if you two don't
back off my territory,
192
00:07:13,236 --> 00:07:16,973
then this is what's
waiting for you.
193
00:07:17,007 --> 00:07:19,642
That's right, so you better
think long and har...
194
00:07:19,676 --> 00:07:21,677
(groaning)
195
00:07:25,048 --> 00:07:26,082
Whatever.
196
00:07:26,116 --> 00:07:27,683
Okay, next I.D. is ready.
197
00:07:27,718 --> 00:07:29,051
Mike Rotch?
198
00:07:29,086 --> 00:07:30,920
I'm looking for Mike Rotch.
199
00:07:30,954 --> 00:07:32,788
(laughing)
200
00:07:35,325 --> 00:07:38,394
Smith, I was tearing it up at
the Rope and Pony last night,
201
00:07:38,428 --> 00:07:41,030
and I accidentally picked
up a 17-year-old girl
202
00:07:41,064 --> 00:07:43,332
all because of this!
203
00:07:43,367 --> 00:07:45,501
Were it not for the girl's
father bursting in
204
00:07:45,535 --> 00:07:48,437
at the last moment, I'd be
a sex offender right now.
205
00:07:48,472 --> 00:07:52,174
Wow, I've never seen a fake I.D.
as sophisticated as this.
206
00:07:52,209 --> 00:07:53,943
If these got
into the wrong hands,
207
00:07:53,977 --> 00:07:56,278
they could be a huge threat
to national security.
208
00:07:56,313 --> 00:07:58,047
That's what I was trying
to tell her father
209
00:07:58,081 --> 00:08:01,217
before he fell on all those
bullets coming out of my gun.
210
00:08:01,251 --> 00:08:03,986
Anyway, your new priority
is to find the man
211
00:08:04,021 --> 00:08:06,389
who's making these and
shut him down for good.
212
00:08:06,423 --> 00:08:07,623
You can count on me, sir.
213
00:08:07,658 --> 00:08:08,658
Do we have any leads?
214
00:08:08,692 --> 00:08:09,659
Only one.
215
00:08:09,693 --> 00:08:11,460
He goes by the name Guttenberg.
216
00:08:11,495 --> 00:08:13,129
Steve Guttenberg.
217
00:08:13,163 --> 00:08:16,766
But we have no record of a man
by that name ever existing.
218
00:08:20,137 --> 00:08:22,872
Wow, last night was
our best take ever.
219
00:08:22,906 --> 00:08:24,573
Way to go, little bro.
220
00:08:24,608 --> 00:08:26,709
Right back at you, big sis.
221
00:08:26,743 --> 00:08:28,077
STAN:
I knew it!
222
00:08:28,111 --> 00:08:30,279
I knew I could find
the kitchen blindfolded.
223
00:08:30,313 --> 00:08:31,981
Boy, do I know this house.
224
00:08:32,015 --> 00:08:33,349
Uh, hey-hey, Dad.
225
00:08:33,383 --> 00:08:34,617
What's new?
226
00:08:34,651 --> 00:08:36,652
I've just been handed
a very important case.
227
00:08:36,686 --> 00:08:39,021
Some master forger
named Guttenberg
228
00:08:39,055 --> 00:08:40,456
is making fake I.D.'s.
229
00:08:40,490 --> 00:08:41,991
The best I've ever seen.
230
00:08:42,025 --> 00:08:43,359
That's right.
231
00:08:43,393 --> 00:08:44,493
He should be as nervous
232
00:08:44,528 --> 00:08:45,928
as you two look right now.
233
00:08:45,962 --> 00:08:48,164
All I have to do
is bait the trap.
234
00:08:48,198 --> 00:08:49,865
And he may be a master forger,
235
00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:52,668
but I am a master bai... whoa!
236
00:08:52,702 --> 00:08:54,570
Whoa, that was close.
237
00:08:54,604 --> 00:08:57,873
Almost master-baited
myself there.
238
00:08:57,908 --> 00:08:59,175
Did you hear that?
239
00:08:59,209 --> 00:09:00,376
We got to quit!
240
00:09:00,410 --> 00:09:02,478
Calm down.
He doesn't know it's us.
241
00:09:02,512 --> 00:09:04,013
Besides, we're making
too much money
242
00:09:04,047 --> 00:09:05,614
for you to chicken out now.
243
00:09:05,649 --> 00:09:08,117
And don't you like working
with your big sis?
244
00:09:08,151 --> 00:09:09,618
Well... yeah.
245
00:09:09,653 --> 00:09:11,453
And I can't do it without you.
246
00:09:11,488 --> 00:09:13,355
You're the genius
who makes it all happen.
247
00:09:13,390 --> 00:09:14,456
You really mean that?
248
00:09:14,491 --> 00:09:15,591
I do.
249
00:09:15,625 --> 00:09:16,959
And don't worry about Dad.
250
00:09:16,993 --> 00:09:18,594
I've been keeping things
from him my whole life.
251
00:09:18,628 --> 00:09:20,296
A-ha!
(both gasp)
252
00:09:20,330 --> 00:09:22,298
Is playing the county fair.
253
00:09:22,332 --> 00:09:24,099
Although now that
I think about it,
254
00:09:24,134 --> 00:09:25,634
I only know that one song.
255
00:09:25,669 --> 00:09:26,936
And parking.
256
00:09:26,970 --> 00:09:28,737
And fair food
gives me the runs.
257
00:09:28,772 --> 00:09:30,272
You know what, I talked
myself out of it.
258
00:09:30,307 --> 00:09:32,474
I'll leave you
to your whispers.
259
00:09:34,077 --> 00:09:35,945
Stan, are you coming to bed?
260
00:09:35,979 --> 00:09:37,880
Oh, quite the opposite,
Francine.
261
00:09:37,914 --> 00:09:40,349
Not only am I not going
to bed as Stan,
262
00:09:40,383 --> 00:09:42,718
I'm leaving the house
as someone else.
263
00:09:42,752 --> 00:09:44,520
Feel free to ask
a follow-up question.
264
00:09:44,554 --> 00:09:45,654
No, that's okay.
265
00:09:45,689 --> 00:09:47,189
You see, Francine,
if I'm gonna catch a man
266
00:09:47,224 --> 00:09:50,960
who sells fake I.D.'s to teens,
I need to go undercover tonight
267
00:09:50,994 --> 00:09:53,596
in full 21 Jump Street mode.
268
00:09:53,630 --> 00:09:56,632
269
00:09:58,869 --> 00:10:01,136
Excuse me, fellow youth.
270
00:10:01,171 --> 00:10:02,938
Can I ask you
where one might...?
271
00:10:02,973 --> 00:10:04,340
Let me ask you a
question first.
272
00:10:04,374 --> 00:10:06,242
Can I buy you a drink?
273
00:10:06,276 --> 00:10:08,110
Me?
274
00:10:08,144 --> 00:10:09,511
This young thing?
275
00:10:09,546 --> 00:10:10,846
Sure.
276
00:10:10,881 --> 00:10:13,883
277
00:10:26,630 --> 00:10:29,365
(thunder crashes)
278
00:10:31,234 --> 00:10:33,068
279
00:10:56,493 --> 00:10:58,494
280
00:11:02,832 --> 00:11:03,966
You're trembling.
281
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,768
It's just that...
282
00:11:05,802 --> 00:11:08,037
I'm afraid this might be
one big dream,
283
00:11:08,071 --> 00:11:10,406
and I don't want to wake up.
284
00:11:15,578 --> 00:11:17,112
So how did it go?
285
00:11:17,147 --> 00:11:20,249
Did you get that intel
you were looking for?
286
00:11:20,283 --> 00:11:21,717
Damn it!
287
00:11:24,254 --> 00:11:25,688
And so, after four dates
288
00:11:25,722 --> 00:11:28,023
and a trip to the Cape
with his family,
289
00:11:28,058 --> 00:11:30,125
I finally got the information
I was looking for.
290
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:31,927
His parents made us sleep
in separate rooms,
291
00:11:31,962 --> 00:11:34,163
but, uh, you know.
292
00:11:34,197 --> 00:11:37,066
Anyway, Guttenberg parks
his van at Fifth and Wellington
293
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:38,500
every Thursday night.
294
00:11:38,535 --> 00:11:41,270
And tonight will be his last.
295
00:11:43,707 --> 00:11:45,040
Hayley, who are you calling?
296
00:11:45,075 --> 00:11:46,508
Ma, I need the room.
297
00:11:46,543 --> 00:11:48,644
Why don't you go down
to the mall kiosk
298
00:11:48,678 --> 00:11:50,279
and get yourself
a nice phone case?
299
00:11:50,313 --> 00:11:52,147
Ooh, you're so good to me.
300
00:11:53,616 --> 00:11:56,318
(phone line ringing)
Come on, Steve, pick up.
301
00:11:56,353 --> 00:11:58,787
(cell phone buzzing)
302
00:12:02,158 --> 00:12:03,125
(printer chirps)
303
00:12:03,159 --> 00:12:05,527
Uhp, out of toner again.
304
00:12:05,562 --> 00:12:08,797
Uh! I told Hayley we should have
gotten a bubble jet printer.
305
00:12:08,832 --> 00:12:11,467
But she's, like,
"No, they cost too much."
306
00:12:11,501 --> 00:12:14,136
And I'm like, "Yeah, but
the price per page is lower."
307
00:12:14,170 --> 00:12:16,138
And she's, like,
"Hey, do what you want."
308
00:12:16,172 --> 00:12:19,008
And I'm, like,
"No, I don't want to upset you.
309
00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:20,209
Not that important."
310
00:12:20,243 --> 00:12:24,013
Yup, that's how
that conversation went down.
311
00:12:26,934 --> 00:12:30,619
You've Gutten away
for the last time, Guttenberg.
312
00:12:30,653 --> 00:12:32,195
Berg your pardon?
313
00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:34,187
Cat Gutte your tongue?
314
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:35,622
You're arrested!
315
00:12:35,656 --> 00:12:37,991
You're just too Gutte
to be true,
316
00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:40,560
I won't take my cuffs
off of you.
317
00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:43,263
Any of those will be fine.
318
00:12:43,297 --> 00:12:45,965
What the hell?
319
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,101
Steve! What are you
doing here?
320
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:49,702
I was just walking
home for dinner
321
00:12:49,737 --> 00:12:51,304
when somebody jumped me,
322
00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:54,307
threw a bag over my head
and shoved me in Jeff's van!
323
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,576
Oh, yeah, this is Jeff's van.
324
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,478
Wait a minute.
What did your kidnapper say?
325
00:12:58,512 --> 00:13:00,313
He said his name was Guttenberg,
326
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:02,415
and that you're Gutten colder,
327
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:06,252
and it might be a Gutt I.D.-ah
for you to give up.
328
00:13:06,287 --> 00:13:08,988
(sighs) Using my own
child, and worst of all,
329
00:13:09,023 --> 00:13:11,925
my son-in-law's van
to make me look like a fool!
330
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,693
He's toying with me.
331
00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:16,596
Yeah, it's like he's
one step ahead of you.
332
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,390
That hadn't occurred to me,
but you're right!
333
00:13:18,399 --> 00:13:20,300
He's probably
watching me right now!
334
00:13:20,334 --> 00:13:22,168
Oh, almost definitely.
335
00:13:22,203 --> 00:13:23,603
You like to watch, Guttenberg?!
336
00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:24,971
You want a show?!
337
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,639
Well, how do you like this?!
338
00:13:26,674 --> 00:13:28,541
Who looks like a fool now?
339
00:13:30,311 --> 00:13:31,778
(both laugh)
340
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:33,947
Thank God I picked up that
second time you called.
341
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:36,216
I had plenty of time to
put the bag over my head
342
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,884
and tie up my hands.
343
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:39,385
But how did you hide
the equipment?
344
00:13:39,420 --> 00:13:40,954
Simple magician's patter.
345
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,488
It was all misdirection.
346
00:13:42,523 --> 00:13:44,524
347
00:13:48,162 --> 00:13:50,797
Wow. You came so close
to getting caught.
348
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,065
Were you scared?
349
00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:53,566
No, it was a rush!
350
00:13:53,601 --> 00:13:56,002
And now Dad has no idea
what's going on.
351
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,170
(loud banging)
352
00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:59,339
(shrieks) It's Dad!
He figured it out!
353
00:14:00,875 --> 00:14:02,208
(sighs)
Roger.
354
00:14:02,243 --> 00:14:03,243
Kevin Ramage.
355
00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:04,244
What do you want?
356
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:05,345
You're making chump change
357
00:14:05,379 --> 00:14:06,980
selling fake I.D.'s
to teenagers.
358
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,915
The big money's in passports,
359
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:11,117
green cards,
counterfeit currency.
360
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:12,919
Come work for me.
We'll make a bundle.
361
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,754
Are you nuts?!
That's too dangerous.
362
00:14:14,788 --> 00:14:16,149
I'm not talking
to you, sweetheart.
363
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:17,490
I'm talking to the talent.
364
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:18,758
What do you say, Steve?
365
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:20,426
I say you got a lot of nerve
366
00:14:20,461 --> 00:14:22,428
trying to come between me
and my sister!
367
00:14:23,797 --> 00:14:25,064
Whoa, are you okay?
368
00:14:25,099 --> 00:14:27,066
I'm fine. I just missed
the step backing out.
369
00:14:27,101 --> 00:14:28,835
I didn't realize how.
370
00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,937
Gosh, be careful, okay?
371
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,171
Thanks, I will.
372
00:14:32,206 --> 00:14:34,274
All right, good.
And stay out!
373
00:14:36,844 --> 00:14:39,245
So, who's Guttenberg?
Are you any closer?
374
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:40,580
Yes, he's a teenager.
375
00:14:40,614 --> 00:14:42,614
Probably working with a sibling,
but not a brother.
376
00:14:42,616 --> 00:14:44,284
He's from a two-parent home.
377
00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:46,319
Father is driven,
but stunningly dim.
378
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:48,821
Mother is all over the map,
but hot.
379
00:14:48,856 --> 00:14:51,391
And there's something sexually
ambiguous living in his attic.
380
00:14:51,425 --> 00:14:53,593
Yeah, those are
the cold facts of his life.
381
00:14:53,627 --> 00:14:55,628
Tell me about the man.
382
00:14:55,663 --> 00:14:58,097
Put it on the board.
I'm a visual thinker.
383
00:14:58,132 --> 00:14:59,299
Okay.
384
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:00,433
He's smart...
385
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,035
he's tricky...
386
00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,570
he's energetic.
387
00:15:04,605 --> 00:15:06,639
He's very energetic.
388
00:15:06,674 --> 00:15:08,775
See? Nothing.
389
00:15:08,809 --> 00:15:09,976
(groans)
390
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,611
Who are you?!
391
00:15:14,515 --> 00:15:16,082
392
00:15:19,653 --> 00:15:22,355
I'm gonna take a break
and check on the girls.
393
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:24,457
Lucky and Buttermilk
have been fighting.
394
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:26,659
Those sound like horse names,
but they're people.
395
00:15:26,694 --> 00:15:27,994
(girls laughing)
396
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:31,464
Oh, hey, what are you guys
doing here?
397
00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:33,299
Out-Outside
of a strip club?
398
00:15:33,334 --> 00:15:35,601
Oh, we just come here
ironically.
399
00:15:35,636 --> 00:15:37,870
Plus I work here.
400
00:15:37,905 --> 00:15:39,839
What are you doing here?
401
00:15:39,873 --> 00:15:42,408
Remember when my little brother
made those fake I.D.'s?
402
00:15:42,443 --> 00:15:44,477
Well, now we're
in business together.
403
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:46,946
ZOE:
Wait? Ew.
404
00:15:46,981 --> 00:15:49,816
You're business partners with
your pervy little brother?
405
00:15:49,850 --> 00:15:52,318
DANUTA:
Yeah, that's pretty lame.
406
00:15:52,353 --> 00:15:53,987
What? Oh, no.
407
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:56,990
No, I meant
my brother works for me.
408
00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:59,058
He likes to think
we're partners,
409
00:15:59,093 --> 00:16:01,928
but I'm the genius
that makes it all happen.
410
00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:04,297
I just wanted to give
that loser a break
411
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:05,598
from building blanket forts.
412
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,067
(all laughing)
413
00:16:14,475 --> 00:16:17,076
Oh, uh, is Ramage here?
414
00:16:17,111 --> 00:16:20,680
Kevin! One of your little
friends is at the door.
415
00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:22,715
Can I go out with you
and Kevin tonight?
416
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:25,752
Brandon! Leave
my friends alone!
417
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:27,820
(sighs) My family sucks.
418
00:16:27,855 --> 00:16:29,389
What do you want, Guttenberg?
419
00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:30,590
I want in.
420
00:16:30,624 --> 00:16:32,392
I don't care
how dangerous it is.
421
00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:33,926
I need a partner
who respects me.
422
00:16:33,961 --> 00:16:35,395
I'm glad you came around.
423
00:16:35,429 --> 00:16:38,331
Let me go get my jacket,
and we'll get started.
424
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:41,300
So, you're a big boy,
aren't ya?
425
00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:46,339
Don't look so surprised.
You know it's me.
426
00:16:50,970 --> 00:16:52,204
Steve, you ready to go to work?
427
00:16:52,238 --> 00:16:53,605
The Taiwanese are coming in
428
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,140
for the Little League
World Series,
429
00:16:55,175 --> 00:16:57,276
and they are looking
to buy some cigarettes.
430
00:16:57,310 --> 00:16:59,478
Oh, but Hayley,
you're the genius
431
00:16:59,512 --> 00:17:00,879
who makes it all happen.
432
00:17:00,914 --> 00:17:03,715
I'm just the loser
who makes blanket forts.
433
00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:06,118
Oh... you heard that.
434
00:17:06,152 --> 00:17:07,519
You're out, Hayley.
435
00:17:07,554 --> 00:17:08,754
What's this for?
436
00:17:08,788 --> 00:17:09,955
The van.
437
00:17:09,989 --> 00:17:11,723
It belongs to me
and my new partner now.
438
00:17:11,758 --> 00:17:14,059
(gasping)
47 seconds.
439
00:17:14,093 --> 00:17:16,028
That is a personal best.
440
00:17:16,062 --> 00:17:17,996
Well, not counting
Adam Levine's Jacuzzi.
441
00:17:18,031 --> 00:17:21,433
But that time there
was incentive!
442
00:17:21,467 --> 00:17:22,534
Kevin Ramage?!
443
00:17:22,569 --> 00:17:24,036
Steve, don't do this.
444
00:17:24,070 --> 00:17:25,671
Working with this creep
is too dangerous.
445
00:17:25,705 --> 00:17:27,439
I'll take my chances.
446
00:17:27,473 --> 00:17:29,541
Come on, Steve, we got
a lot of work to do.
447
00:17:29,576 --> 00:17:31,043
Plus I'm-I'm
pruning up here.
448
00:17:31,077 --> 00:17:33,745
My whole body is starting
to look like Meg Ryan's neck.
449
00:17:33,780 --> 00:17:36,048
Yeah, to hell with her
for getting old.
450
00:17:37,784 --> 00:17:40,686
(girls laughing, whooping)
451
00:17:41,988 --> 00:17:45,157
Hayley, you spent
a lot of money on this limo
452
00:17:45,191 --> 00:17:46,658
and you're
not even saying "Whoo."
453
00:17:46,693 --> 00:17:48,961
I just got a lot on my mind.
454
00:17:48,995 --> 00:17:52,231
Oh, that sounds awful.
455
00:17:52,265 --> 00:17:54,867
(girls whooping)
456
00:17:57,270 --> 00:17:59,104
Hey, driver, pull over!
457
00:17:59,138 --> 00:18:00,772
(tires screech)
458
00:18:00,807 --> 00:18:03,242
Wait for me. I just gotta
check on something.
459
00:18:03,276 --> 00:18:05,277
We can't. We have
to stop at Kristen's house
460
00:18:05,311 --> 00:18:07,412
because she accidentally
wore underwear.
461
00:18:07,447 --> 00:18:09,514
Hey, I'm all for making
a guy work for it,
462
00:18:09,549 --> 00:18:11,416
but not that hard.
463
00:18:11,451 --> 00:18:12,918
(girls whooping)
464
00:18:14,654 --> 00:18:16,188
ROGER: Come on, Steve.
Chop-chop!
465
00:18:16,222 --> 00:18:18,257
We gotta get these
fake passports finished.
466
00:18:18,291 --> 00:18:20,225
These Armenians are
scary people, man.
467
00:18:20,260 --> 00:18:22,094
That Turkish genocide
just pissed them off.
468
00:18:22,128 --> 00:18:24,263
That's all it did!
It just pissed them off!
469
00:18:24,297 --> 00:18:25,397
Damn it! We're late.
470
00:18:25,431 --> 00:18:27,199
We gotta get down to the docks.
471
00:18:28,935 --> 00:18:31,136
Oh, my God!
Steve's in way over his head!
472
00:18:31,170 --> 00:18:32,304
(line ringing)
473
00:18:32,338 --> 00:18:33,305
STAN:
Hello?
474
00:18:33,339 --> 00:18:34,573
Dad, Steve's in trouble!
475
00:18:34,607 --> 00:18:36,341
Oh, no, it's Guttenberg,
isn't it?!
476
00:18:36,376 --> 00:18:37,476
He's got him again!
477
00:18:37,510 --> 00:18:40,112
Sure, why not?
Just get to the docks now!
478
00:18:44,083 --> 00:18:46,551
Dimitri, you old so-and-so!
479
00:18:46,586 --> 00:18:48,353
Nice tracksuit, buddy.
480
00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:51,089
This is Guttenberg.
Best forger in the business.
481
00:18:51,124 --> 00:18:54,493
Hi. So I-I have
your passports.
482
00:18:54,527 --> 00:18:56,495
Now what do you have for us?
483
00:18:56,529 --> 00:18:58,330
These.
484
00:18:58,364 --> 00:18:59,498
(guns clicking)
485
00:18:59,532 --> 00:19:00,799
Uh-oh.
486
00:19:00,833 --> 00:19:02,200
(chuckles)
The double cross.
487
00:19:02,235 --> 00:19:04,269
Classic.
488
00:19:04,304 --> 00:19:05,604
STAN (over bullhorn):
Attention, you in the warehouse!
489
00:19:05,638 --> 00:19:07,172
We have you surrounded!
490
00:19:08,908 --> 00:19:11,410
This is the CIA!
491
00:19:11,444 --> 00:19:13,145
Guttenberg,
we know you're in there!
492
00:19:13,179 --> 00:19:14,713
Come out with your hands up!
493
00:19:14,747 --> 00:19:16,815
You want Guttenberg alive?
494
00:19:16,849 --> 00:19:18,383
You let us go!
495
00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:20,585
Wait. Steve is Guttenberg?
496
00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:21,687
HAYLEY:
No!
497
00:19:21,721 --> 00:19:23,689
Steve's not Guttenberg!
498
00:19:23,723 --> 00:19:25,123
I am.
499
00:19:25,158 --> 00:19:26,191
You're Guttenberg?
500
00:19:26,225 --> 00:19:27,859
Yes, Dad.
501
00:19:27,894 --> 00:19:30,028
And this is all my fault.
502
00:19:30,063 --> 00:19:32,364
I used Steve to make
money, and-and...
503
00:19:32,398 --> 00:19:34,099
(engine revving,
tires squealing)
504
00:19:34,133 --> 00:19:36,768
Kevin Ramage!
505
00:19:40,740 --> 00:19:43,375
Steve, thank God you're okay.
506
00:19:43,409 --> 00:19:45,344
Well, Smith, you
solved the case.
507
00:19:45,378 --> 00:19:47,245
You found Guttenberg.
Good work.
508
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:48,780
Take her away.
509
00:19:48,815 --> 00:19:52,985
But, sir, Guttenberg or not,
I can't arrest my own daughter.
510
00:19:53,019 --> 00:19:55,053
Can you do it?
511
00:19:56,723 --> 00:19:58,590
Smith, your lawyer's
here to see you.
512
00:19:58,624 --> 00:19:59,758
Lawyer?
513
00:19:59,792 --> 00:20:01,226
He says he's your lawyer.
514
00:20:01,260 --> 00:20:03,395
His official lawyer card
checks out.
515
00:20:05,498 --> 00:20:07,199
Hi, Steve.
516
00:20:07,233 --> 00:20:09,968
Hayley, why'd you take
the rap for me?
517
00:20:10,003 --> 00:20:12,237
I... I felt bad.
518
00:20:12,271 --> 00:20:15,340
Your life was in danger,
and it was all because of me.
519
00:20:15,375 --> 00:20:17,976
You had a skill,
and I-I took advantage of it.
520
00:20:18,011 --> 00:20:19,511
But we were partners,
521
00:20:19,545 --> 00:20:21,780
and then you told those girls
I was a loser.
522
00:20:21,814 --> 00:20:23,281
I know. I'm sorry.
523
00:20:23,316 --> 00:20:25,217
They-they put me on the spot,
524
00:20:25,251 --> 00:20:27,419
and I was, I was just trying
to look cool.
525
00:20:27,453 --> 00:20:30,922
I guess I deserve to be in here
for the next ten years.
526
00:20:30,957 --> 00:20:33,425
See you when I'm 29.
527
00:20:33,459 --> 00:20:35,260
Oh, you mean...
528
00:20:35,294 --> 00:20:36,962
yesterday?
529
00:20:38,698 --> 00:20:40,032
Guard!
530
00:20:40,066 --> 00:20:41,099
Thanks, little brother.
531
00:20:41,134 --> 00:20:42,367
Any time, sis.
532
00:20:42,402 --> 00:20:45,070
Now if you'll excuse me,
I've got work to do.
533
00:20:47,507 --> 00:20:49,241
Open up cellblock H!
534
00:20:49,275 --> 00:20:52,778
Surprise inspection, ladies!
Let's whip 'em out!
535
00:20:52,812 --> 00:20:54,946
What a loser.
536
00:20:54,996 --> 00:20:59,546
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
37108
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof