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1
00:00:01,516 --> 00:00:02,950
(upbeat march plays)
2
00:00:02,984 --> 00:00:05,686
Good morning, USA!
3
00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:09,590
I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day
4
00:00:09,624 --> 00:00:12,559
The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face
5
00:00:12,594 --> 00:00:16,997
And he's shining a salute
to the American race
6
00:00:18,900 --> 00:00:22,269
Oh, boy, it's swell to say
7
00:00:22,303 --> 00:00:24,271
Good...
Good morning, USA
8
00:00:24,305 --> 00:00:25,806
Aah!
9
00:00:27,108 --> 00:00:32,360
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
10
00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:34,348
STEVE:
Radishes are looking healthy.
11
00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:38,585
Strawberries have their seeds
on the outside. That's good.
12
00:00:38,620 --> 00:00:40,787
Zucchini
appropriately phallic...
13
00:00:40,822 --> 00:00:43,323
inducing slight feelings
of inadequacy.
14
00:00:43,358 --> 00:00:45,993
What the...! These tomatoes
are mired in the dirt!
15
00:00:46,027 --> 00:00:48,195
They're-they're in danger
of getting ground rot!
16
00:00:48,229 --> 00:00:49,696
They look okay to me.
17
00:00:49,731 --> 00:00:52,266
The day "okay" is good enough
for this garden club
18
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:54,668
is the day I resign
as its president!
19
00:00:54,702 --> 00:00:56,303
We're co-presidents, Steve.
20
00:00:56,337 --> 00:00:58,138
Then start acting like it!
21
00:00:58,172 --> 00:01:00,107
Oh, what nice tomatoes.
22
00:01:00,141 --> 00:01:02,542
No, Mom, they're not.
23
00:01:02,577 --> 00:01:04,544
(quietly):
What are you doing here?
24
00:01:04,579 --> 00:01:07,414
You're making me look uncool
in front of the garden club!
25
00:01:07,448 --> 00:01:10,183
Gardening? Steve, that's
one of my four things!
26
00:01:10,218 --> 00:01:13,520
And you and I haven't really done
anything together in a while.
27
00:01:13,554 --> 00:01:15,856
Can I join? Gardening
is about creating
28
00:01:15,890 --> 00:01:18,825
something from nothing
and watching it grow.
29
00:01:18,860 --> 00:01:21,595
What would you know
about that, Mother?
30
00:01:21,629 --> 00:01:22,930
Pfft!
31
00:01:22,964 --> 00:01:24,665
Anyway...
32
00:01:24,699 --> 00:01:27,401
if we intend to have
gazpacho for Arbor Day,
33
00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:29,603
we're gonna need
a tomato cage, stat.
34
00:01:29,637 --> 00:01:31,371
To the gardening store!
35
00:01:31,406 --> 00:01:33,607
Ooh, maybe I could drive you.
36
00:01:34,642 --> 00:01:36,877
We could play car bingo!
37
00:01:36,911 --> 00:01:39,279
I'll let you smoke!
38
00:01:39,314 --> 00:01:41,515
(finishing lively song)
39
00:01:41,549 --> 00:01:43,350
I got to say,
I'm all a-tither
40
00:01:43,384 --> 00:01:45,519
for our big performance.
I know, right?
41
00:01:45,553 --> 00:01:48,355
Russian balalaika trios
are gonna be the next big thing,
42
00:01:48,389 --> 00:01:51,291
and we'll be at the forefront,
raking in the rubles.
43
00:01:51,326 --> 00:01:52,859
Then where's our audience?
44
00:01:52,894 --> 00:01:54,494
Relax. People will show.
45
00:01:54,529 --> 00:01:56,463
I mean, we're the only
game in town, right?
46
00:01:56,497 --> 00:01:59,866
I mean, it's not like there's anyone else
in Langley Falls working their asses off
47
00:01:59,901 --> 00:02:03,870
to keep alive the orchestral folk
traditions of tsarist Russia!
48
00:02:03,905 --> 00:02:07,174
Just made my own sandwich
for the first time.
49
00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:09,476
Awful. Just awful.
50
00:02:09,510 --> 00:02:10,711
Mm. Mm.
51
00:02:10,745 --> 00:02:12,312
Oh, oh, oh, God.
52
00:02:12,347 --> 00:02:13,747
(sighs)
53
00:02:13,781 --> 00:02:15,115
What's your drama, Mama?
54
00:02:15,149 --> 00:02:17,985
Steve doesn't want anything
to do with me anymore.
55
00:02:18,019 --> 00:02:20,320
We used to have
so much in common,
56
00:02:20,355 --> 00:02:22,789
but now... Oh, it's all
perfectly natural.
57
00:02:22,824 --> 00:02:25,926
Steve is becoming a man,
and one aspect of being a man
58
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,195
is having absolutely
no interest in women.
59
00:02:28,229 --> 00:02:30,030
(groans) I suppose
you're right.
60
00:02:30,064 --> 00:02:32,332
Of course I'm right--
because I'm a man.
61
00:02:32,367 --> 00:02:33,767
A man, Francine.
62
00:02:33,801 --> 00:02:35,802
From my head down
to my low-hanging...
63
00:02:35,837 --> 00:02:38,805
(amplified heartbeat)
64
00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:40,807
(quiet crunching)
65
00:02:40,842 --> 00:02:42,376
Ooh!
66
00:02:42,410 --> 00:02:44,811
Stan! Are you okay?
67
00:02:44,846 --> 00:02:47,414
(siren wailing)
68
00:02:47,448 --> 00:02:50,317
(whistles) This is
some thick-ass gauge wire.
69
00:02:50,351 --> 00:02:51,718
We're buying it.
70
00:02:51,753 --> 00:02:53,220
Barry, hand over the money.
71
00:02:53,254 --> 00:02:54,621
I don't have any money.
72
00:02:54,655 --> 00:02:56,056
But you're the treasurer.
73
00:02:56,090 --> 00:02:58,759
We-we gave you all
of our club funds to manage.
74
00:02:58,793 --> 00:03:02,562
I spent it all on dance moves!
75
00:03:02,597 --> 00:03:04,231
Jealous?
76
00:03:04,265 --> 00:03:05,832
A little.
77
00:03:05,867 --> 00:03:07,367
(sighing):
Aw, great.
78
00:03:07,402 --> 00:03:09,469
Well, we need this cage.
79
00:03:09,504 --> 00:03:13,206
So I guess we have no choice
but to steal it.
80
00:03:17,345 --> 00:03:20,847
Okay, so Toshi's in,
I'm in. You guys in?
81
00:03:21,883 --> 00:03:24,518
Okay, but how
are we gonna do it?
82
00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:27,220
(fierce yelling)
83
00:03:31,859 --> 00:03:33,860
That was awesome!
84
00:03:33,895 --> 00:03:36,196
What a rush!
I'm shaking.
85
00:03:36,230 --> 00:03:37,898
I want to rip something off!
86
00:03:37,932 --> 00:03:39,232
No, me!
87
00:03:39,267 --> 00:03:40,500
In time, fellows.
88
00:03:40,535 --> 00:03:41,935
But you're just beginners,
89
00:03:41,969 --> 00:03:44,905
so we need to find a place
that's easy to steal from.
90
00:03:44,939 --> 00:03:46,273
Hmm...
91
00:03:51,079 --> 00:03:52,879
I don't get it.
92
00:03:52,914 --> 00:03:54,114
Why didn't people come?
93
00:03:54,148 --> 00:03:56,450
We had 45 maybes on our Evites.
94
00:03:56,484 --> 00:03:58,318
Hayley, "maybe" means no.
95
00:03:58,352 --> 00:04:01,121
The only place that
"maybe" means maybe is sex.
96
00:04:01,155 --> 00:04:02,989
Maybe.
97
00:04:05,660 --> 00:04:07,060
Okay, I'll bite.
98
00:04:07,095 --> 00:04:09,262
What's up with the
gyroscope on his junk?
99
00:04:09,297 --> 00:04:11,498
Stan was... injured
100
00:04:11,532 --> 00:04:14,334
and went into a rare
condition known as...
101
00:04:14,368 --> 00:04:17,003
"testicular
retreat syndrome."
102
00:04:17,038 --> 00:04:20,273
His, um... nuggs
were so traumatized,
103
00:04:20,308 --> 00:04:23,076
they ran up into
his body to heal.
104
00:04:23,111 --> 00:04:24,878
What? Will he be okay?
105
00:04:24,912 --> 00:04:26,313
We don't know yet.
106
00:04:26,347 --> 00:04:28,415
They might drop down
again someday,
107
00:04:28,449 --> 00:04:31,084
but the doctors say
there's a good chance
108
00:04:31,119 --> 00:04:33,186
they'll just die up there,
109
00:04:33,221 --> 00:04:36,189
like a gut-torn rabbit
in a wooded thicket.
110
00:04:36,224 --> 00:04:37,991
Wait, hold on a second.
I'm confused.
111
00:04:38,025 --> 00:04:40,827
Why the hell didn't you dicks show
up to our balalaika concert?!
112
00:04:40,862 --> 00:04:43,163
(high-pitched): I've got
bigger problems right now
113
00:04:43,197 --> 00:04:46,133
than supporting
your commie music!
114
00:04:46,167 --> 00:04:47,467
(both laughing)
115
00:04:47,502 --> 00:04:49,936
Stop! So what if I sound
a little feminine?
116
00:04:49,971 --> 00:04:52,739
Stop laughing and treat me
with the respect I deserve!
117
00:04:52,773 --> 00:04:54,407
(both laughing)
118
00:04:54,442 --> 00:04:56,176
My voice is not that...
119
00:04:56,210 --> 00:04:57,577
(dogs barking in distance)
120
00:04:57,612 --> 00:04:59,079
...not that high.
121
00:04:59,113 --> 00:05:00,380
(barking continues)
122
00:05:00,414 --> 00:05:02,015
It's a little higher
than usual.
123
00:05:02,049 --> 00:05:04,584
(dogs barking,
banging against door)
124
00:05:09,223 --> 00:05:12,192
And that, Mr. Baby,
is why I vastly prefer
125
00:05:12,226 --> 00:05:15,762
a good round of marbles to
these confounded video games.
126
00:05:15,796 --> 00:05:18,698
Back in my day,
all we had to have fun
127
00:05:18,733 --> 00:05:21,334
was sleepy hobos and fire ants.
128
00:05:23,871 --> 00:05:26,039
Well, thanks for
the trip down memory lane,
129
00:05:26,073 --> 00:05:30,177
but there's a can outside,
and it's not gonna kick itself.
130
00:05:33,481 --> 00:05:35,282
(jail cell door slamming shut)
131
00:05:35,316 --> 00:05:36,783
Hold it right there, son.
132
00:05:36,817 --> 00:05:39,286
Abort! Abort!
133
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,555
What's in your pocket there?
134
00:05:43,024 --> 00:05:45,192
And how about
your other pocket?
135
00:05:47,895 --> 00:05:50,197
I-I'm in a gardening club!
136
00:05:52,733 --> 00:05:54,701
(groans) There, there, sweetie.
137
00:05:54,735 --> 00:05:56,436
Hey, Stan, want me
to horse whisper
138
00:05:56,470 --> 00:05:57,938
those bad boys out of there?
139
00:05:57,972 --> 00:06:00,140
(whispering inaudibly)
140
00:06:03,411 --> 00:06:04,978
Wh-What did they say?
141
00:06:05,012 --> 00:06:06,213
It's no use.
142
00:06:06,247 --> 00:06:08,048
There's no talking
sense into them...
143
00:06:08,082 --> 00:06:09,349
'cause they're nuts!
144
00:06:09,383 --> 00:06:12,385
Aah! Thank you! Aah! Ha-ha!
145
00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:15,889
Dad, things'll turn out okay.
146
00:06:15,923 --> 00:06:19,125
Jawohl. I lost my testes
when I became a fish.
147
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,428
But being a fish isn't all bad.
148
00:06:21,462 --> 00:06:24,631
Now I can write inspirational
messages in the water.
149
00:06:27,235 --> 00:06:29,035
No! I'm a freak!
150
00:06:29,070 --> 00:06:31,404
Until my boys drop
and my voice returns,
151
00:06:31,439 --> 00:06:33,873
I vow you'll never
hear me speak again!
152
00:06:33,908 --> 00:06:35,375
Starting...
153
00:06:36,811 --> 00:06:38,545
(phone rings)
154
00:06:38,579 --> 00:06:39,980
Hello.
155
00:06:40,014 --> 00:06:41,915
What? Oh, no!
156
00:06:41,949 --> 00:06:43,950
I'll be right down!
157
00:06:47,221 --> 00:06:49,222
Aah! Ha-ha-ha!
158
00:06:49,257 --> 00:06:50,557
Wow!
159
00:06:50,591 --> 00:06:51,691
160
00:06:51,726 --> 00:06:54,661
Ha! Yeah!
161
00:06:56,364 --> 00:06:59,499
Thank you for letting Steve off
with just a warning, Mr. Baby.
162
00:06:59,533 --> 00:07:02,335
Well, you're lucky I'm just
a mom-and-pop operation.
163
00:07:02,370 --> 00:07:04,771
Technically,
just a pop operation,
164
00:07:04,805 --> 00:07:07,107
since the woman
I share my bed with
165
00:07:07,141 --> 00:07:09,809
is not the mother
of my children,
166
00:07:09,844 --> 00:07:13,947
but a toothless candy whore
who I pay in Razzles.
167
00:07:13,981 --> 00:07:15,448
But the bigger corporate stores
168
00:07:15,483 --> 00:07:17,284
won't be so forgiving
with your boy.
169
00:07:17,318 --> 00:07:19,286
Oh, don't you worry.
170
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,188
Steve will learn his lesson.
171
00:07:22,223 --> 00:07:25,258
Yo, Julian, where my Razzles?!
172
00:07:30,331 --> 00:07:33,400
Damn it, woman, why
won't you yell at me?!
173
00:07:33,434 --> 00:07:36,136
And what are we doing
in your bedroom?
174
00:07:36,170 --> 00:07:37,570
Oh, God!
175
00:07:37,605 --> 00:07:39,572
You're gonna lock me
in your closet!
176
00:07:39,607 --> 00:07:42,575
(trembles) But that's where
the Blouse Monster lives!
177
00:07:43,844 --> 00:07:45,312
(mechanical whirring)
178
00:07:45,346 --> 00:07:47,814
A-A secret room?
179
00:07:48,849 --> 00:07:51,151
STEVE:
What is this stuff?
180
00:07:51,185 --> 00:07:55,088
Ah, just a lot of things
I've stolen over the years...
181
00:07:55,122 --> 00:07:57,424
successfully.
What?!
182
00:07:57,458 --> 00:07:58,958
Don't you get it, Steve?
183
00:07:58,993 --> 00:08:01,161
I'm not angry at you
for stealing.
184
00:08:01,195 --> 00:08:03,830
I'm angry that you got caught!
185
00:08:03,864 --> 00:08:05,832
Aah! Blouse Monster!
186
00:08:05,866 --> 00:08:07,734
No! I won't put you on!
187
00:08:11,223 --> 00:08:12,757
I don't understand.
188
00:08:12,791 --> 00:08:13,791
You're telling me
189
00:08:13,825 --> 00:08:15,202
you shoplifted all this stuff?
190
00:08:15,256 --> 00:08:16,623
And unlike you,
191
00:08:16,658 --> 00:08:19,559
I haven't gotten
caught in 20 years.
192
00:08:19,594 --> 00:08:22,095
Wow, look at all
these treasures.
193
00:08:23,131 --> 00:08:25,198
A ream of printer paper,
194
00:08:25,233 --> 00:08:27,034
a VHS tape rewinder,
195
00:08:27,068 --> 00:08:28,702
a four-pack of paint rollers.
196
00:08:28,736 --> 00:08:31,872
Huh, this all looked a lot more
impressive on first glance.
197
00:08:31,906 --> 00:08:34,041
That's 'cause I give 'em all
a regular spritz
198
00:08:34,075 --> 00:08:35,509
with this Sparkle Spray.
199
00:08:37,445 --> 00:08:38,712
It's so beautiful.
200
00:08:38,746 --> 00:08:40,514
This is all so...
201
00:08:40,548 --> 00:08:41,848
badass!
202
00:08:41,883 --> 00:08:44,351
I thought you were
a typical, lame mom,
203
00:08:44,385 --> 00:08:46,453
but it turns out
you're a hard-core criminal?
204
00:08:46,487 --> 00:08:49,256
A criminal is someone
who gets caught, Steve.
205
00:08:49,290 --> 00:08:50,791
We're artists.
206
00:08:50,825 --> 00:08:52,392
We?
That's right.
207
00:08:52,427 --> 00:08:53,960
You're my son.
208
00:08:53,995 --> 00:08:56,663
And from now on,
when my son steals,
209
00:08:56,698 --> 00:08:58,565
he's gonna know how
to get away with it.
210
00:09:03,671 --> 00:09:05,072
(indistinct conversations)
211
00:09:05,106 --> 00:09:06,640
I can't believe
212
00:09:06,674 --> 00:09:09,042
we're getting ready
to shoplift together!
213
00:09:09,077 --> 00:09:11,678
What mother doesn't
dream of this moment?
214
00:09:11,713 --> 00:09:13,380
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's do this!
215
00:09:13,414 --> 00:09:15,282
Let's lift some khakis!
216
00:09:16,918 --> 00:09:18,018
The Gash?
217
00:09:18,052 --> 00:09:19,419
You can't start there.
218
00:09:19,454 --> 00:09:21,355
The security
is top-notch.
219
00:09:21,389 --> 00:09:23,824
First, I have to
teach you everything
220
00:09:23,858 --> 00:09:26,226
about how to work a snatch.
221
00:09:26,260 --> 00:09:29,463
Please tell me we're still
talking about stealing.
222
00:09:29,497 --> 00:09:32,199
Why don't we steal away?
223
00:09:33,267 --> 00:09:36,269
Why don't we steal away
224
00:09:36,304 --> 00:09:39,005
Into the night?
225
00:09:40,041 --> 00:09:42,943
I know it ain't right
226
00:09:45,646 --> 00:09:48,281
Don't tease me
227
00:09:48,316 --> 00:09:52,619
Why don't you please me?
228
00:09:53,621 --> 00:09:57,090
Then show me
229
00:09:57,125 --> 00:10:00,560
What you came here for
230
00:10:00,595 --> 00:10:03,363
Why don't we steal away?
231
00:10:04,766 --> 00:10:08,168
Why don't we steal away
232
00:10:08,202 --> 00:10:10,137
Into the night?
233
00:10:11,672 --> 00:10:14,674
I know it ain't right.
234
00:10:16,644 --> 00:10:18,645
(playing balalaika music)
235
00:10:24,419 --> 00:10:25,719
He liked it!
236
00:10:25,753 --> 00:10:26,853
Uh, not so fast.
237
00:10:26,888 --> 00:10:29,623
I think the periods
imply detached sarcasm.
238
00:10:29,657 --> 00:10:30,924
Of course they do!
239
00:10:30,958 --> 00:10:32,259
The entire second verse
240
00:10:32,293 --> 00:10:33,527
you were plucking
instead of plinking!
241
00:10:33,561 --> 00:10:34,795
Don't you start, fish!
242
00:10:34,829 --> 00:10:37,063
You play that gusli
like a syphilitic babushka!
243
00:10:37,098 --> 00:10:38,198
Quiet!
244
00:10:38,232 --> 00:10:40,200
You're both bourgeois
mediocrities.
245
00:10:40,234 --> 00:10:41,568
Wait.
Where are you going?
246
00:10:41,602 --> 00:10:43,737
I don't need you two
to get famous.
247
00:10:43,771 --> 00:10:44,771
Most people just come
248
00:10:44,806 --> 00:10:45,939
to hear the garmon anyway.
249
00:10:45,973 --> 00:10:47,007
Fine.
250
00:10:47,041 --> 00:10:48,575
The mariachi band
at El Compadre's
251
00:10:48,609 --> 00:10:50,043
been begging me to join 'em.
252
00:10:50,077 --> 00:10:51,144
And I'll just become
253
00:10:51,179 --> 00:10:52,646
a solo gusli sensation!
254
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:54,748
(laughing)
255
00:10:54,782 --> 00:10:57,818
Look who thinks he's
the next Igor Kasminov.
256
00:10:57,852 --> 00:10:59,352
(gasps) That is it!
257
00:10:59,387 --> 00:11:02,556
From here on, consider
this balalaika trio kaputsky!
258
00:11:02,590 --> 00:11:04,257
Fine!
259
00:11:05,293 --> 00:11:07,761
Nothing will unite
us ever again!
260
00:11:07,795 --> 00:11:09,796
Presents!
261
00:11:11,532 --> 00:11:15,035
Hayley, this megaphone is
the absolute top-of-the-line.
262
00:11:15,069 --> 00:11:17,003
Certain to make you
the most annoying person
263
00:11:17,038 --> 00:11:18,505
at your next Occupy rally.
264
00:11:18,539 --> 00:11:20,607
Thanks, Dingus!
265
00:11:20,641 --> 00:11:24,010
Roger, I found you
this limited-edition
266
00:11:24,045 --> 00:11:26,980
porcelain doll
of JonBenet Ramsey...
267
00:11:27,014 --> 00:11:29,683
as an angel.
268
00:11:29,717 --> 00:11:32,886
Are you implying that there was
any version of her that wasn't?
269
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:36,256
(crying):
Oh, God, I love her so much!
270
00:11:36,290 --> 00:11:39,359
Klaus, we got you
a Tiffany fishbowl.
271
00:11:39,393 --> 00:11:40,861
It's just like
your regular fishbowl,
272
00:11:40,895 --> 00:11:42,629
except it's expensive
for some reason.
273
00:11:42,663 --> 00:11:45,932
Whatever, as long as I have
the blue box to show the girls!
274
00:11:45,967 --> 00:11:48,702
And finally, for Stan,
275
00:11:48,736 --> 00:11:51,538
a custom Rolex with
a special display
276
00:11:51,572 --> 00:11:55,709
that counts down the minutes
until Rachel Maddow's death!
277
00:12:01,182 --> 00:12:03,850
How did I pay for all this?
278
00:12:03,885 --> 00:12:06,820
Well... money, of course.
279
00:12:09,090 --> 00:12:10,690
Oh, who are we kidding?!
280
00:12:10,725 --> 00:12:12,292
We lifted it!
We pinched it!
281
00:12:12,326 --> 00:12:14,628
We gave it the old Zazzoo!
282
00:12:14,662 --> 00:12:16,763
(gasps) I'm assuming
from context
283
00:12:16,797 --> 00:12:18,965
that old Zazzoo
also means stealing.
284
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,433
Yes.
(gasps)
285
00:12:20,468 --> 00:12:22,669
I can't believe
what I'm hearing!
286
00:12:22,703 --> 00:12:24,871
Shoplifting?
Seriously, guys?
287
00:12:24,906 --> 00:12:26,172
For shame!
288
00:12:26,207 --> 00:12:28,575
(muffled laughter)
289
00:12:28,609 --> 00:12:30,677
Francine, what are we teaching
our children
290
00:12:30,711 --> 00:12:32,312
and aliens and fish?
291
00:12:32,346 --> 00:12:34,781
I may not have the authority
around here I once had,
292
00:12:34,815 --> 00:12:36,650
but damn it,
I still know what's right!
293
00:12:36,684 --> 00:12:39,219
I'm sorry, but Rachel Maddow's
death will just have
294
00:12:39,253 --> 00:12:41,254
to come
as a pleasant surprise to me.
295
00:12:41,289 --> 00:12:43,757
Promise me you two
will never steal again.
296
00:12:43,791 --> 00:12:46,593
Okay, Dad. I promise
we'll never shoplift again.
297
00:12:46,627 --> 00:12:48,228
Will we, Mom?
298
00:12:48,262 --> 00:12:50,363
Okay.
299
00:12:50,398 --> 00:12:51,631
Are we done here?
300
00:12:51,666 --> 00:12:53,800
'Cause we were in the
middle of a storm-off.
301
00:12:53,834 --> 00:12:55,969
Our balalaika trio is finished!
302
00:12:59,507 --> 00:13:01,241
Dad, are you bathing?
303
00:13:01,275 --> 00:13:03,643
'Cause it-it smells
like you're...
304
00:13:03,678 --> 00:13:05,712
not bathing.
305
00:13:08,249 --> 00:13:11,418
Well, this is still fun.
306
00:13:11,452 --> 00:13:13,753
I mean, we're hanging out.
307
00:13:13,788 --> 00:13:15,021
(loud slurping through straw)
308
00:13:15,056 --> 00:13:17,791
Um, we don't have to
hang out at the mall.
309
00:13:17,825 --> 00:13:19,292
We could always
get a motorcycle
310
00:13:19,327 --> 00:13:22,195
with a sidecar
and find lost dogs!
311
00:13:22,229 --> 00:13:24,097
Yeah. See you later, Mom.
312
00:13:24,131 --> 00:13:26,466
Wait! What if we
shoplift again?
313
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:27,801
What?
314
00:13:27,835 --> 00:13:30,403
I mean... we can't
go out like this.
315
00:13:30,438 --> 00:13:32,272
We got to have one final heist.
316
00:13:32,306 --> 00:13:34,207
But we promised Dad.
317
00:13:34,241 --> 00:13:36,443
Look, this isn't just any heist.
318
00:13:36,477 --> 00:13:40,547
I'm talking
about hitting The Gash.
319
00:13:42,016 --> 00:13:43,783
The Gash?!
320
00:13:43,818 --> 00:13:45,251
You mean I'm finally ready?
321
00:13:45,286 --> 00:13:46,586
No, Steve.
322
00:13:46,621 --> 00:13:48,788
We're ready.
323
00:13:48,823 --> 00:13:50,290
Yeah, you're ready!
324
00:13:50,324 --> 00:13:52,325
I'm liking that confidence!
325
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,394
Anyway, what's next?
326
00:13:54,428 --> 00:13:56,196
Where we going?
327
00:13:57,798 --> 00:14:00,333
Okay, I'll create a distraction
328
00:14:00,368 --> 00:14:02,736
while you run a
reverse snatch-and-grab
329
00:14:02,770 --> 00:14:04,504
down the cardigan table.
330
00:14:04,538 --> 00:14:06,706
Meet at the
fountain at 2:00.
331
00:14:06,741 --> 00:14:08,541
Got it.
332
00:14:09,577 --> 00:14:11,077
Excuse me.
333
00:14:11,112 --> 00:14:14,447
I think there's something
wrong with this changing room.
334
00:14:14,482 --> 00:14:16,282
(rats squeaking) (gasps)
335
00:14:16,317 --> 00:14:18,184
Oh, she is good.
336
00:14:18,219 --> 00:14:20,620
(indistinct shouting,
rats squeaking)
337
00:14:25,092 --> 00:14:26,893
Huh.
338
00:14:26,927 --> 00:14:30,630
Excuse me. Have you seen
my beautiful boy?
339
00:14:32,099 --> 00:14:33,633
Yeah, he was here.
340
00:14:33,668 --> 00:14:35,969
But our Loss Prevention
Unit has him now.
341
00:14:36,003 --> 00:14:37,704
(gasping)
342
00:14:37,738 --> 00:14:40,206
(insects trilling)
343
00:14:40,241 --> 00:14:42,208
(whirring and dinging) Aah!
344
00:14:42,243 --> 00:14:43,410
Hi there, shoplifter!
345
00:14:43,444 --> 00:14:44,911
Welcome to The Gash...
346
00:14:44,945 --> 00:14:46,146
sweatshop!
347
00:14:46,180 --> 00:14:47,280
(whirring)
348
00:14:47,314 --> 00:14:49,315
(Steve screams)
349
00:14:53,933 --> 00:14:55,400
(birds singing)
350
00:14:55,435 --> 00:14:56,919
Excuse me, miss?
351
00:14:57,039 --> 00:14:58,418
Hi. How can I help you today?
352
00:14:58,538 --> 00:15:01,377
I was just wondering, who's
my union representative?
353
00:15:01,497 --> 00:15:02,908
(screaming)
354
00:15:02,942 --> 00:15:03,631
Okay. Oh.
355
00:15:03,755 --> 00:15:05,152
Anything else
I can help you with?
356
00:15:05,193 --> 00:15:06,624
No, thanks.
357
00:15:06,658 --> 00:15:09,427
Okay, well, my name's Harper
if you need anything.
358
00:15:10,629 --> 00:15:12,763
How long have you been here?
359
00:15:12,798 --> 00:15:14,232
20 years.
360
00:15:14,266 --> 00:15:17,635
Oh, my God, I just realized
I can't take it anymore!
361
00:15:17,669 --> 00:15:18,836
(rhythmic beeping)
362
00:15:18,871 --> 00:15:20,271
(punches landing)
363
00:15:20,305 --> 00:15:21,939
(beeping stops)
364
00:15:21,974 --> 00:15:24,609
No! Not the sweater fold!
365
00:15:24,643 --> 00:15:28,112
(screaming, snapping)
366
00:15:28,146 --> 00:15:29,614
(grunting)
367
00:15:30,616 --> 00:15:31,883
(grunting)
368
00:15:31,917 --> 00:15:33,517
(panting):
Stan!
369
00:15:33,552 --> 00:15:35,653
I'm sorry. I ran
all the way home
370
00:15:35,687 --> 00:15:38,089
because I forgot
I had my car with me.
371
00:15:38,123 --> 00:15:42,827
The Gash's Loss Prevention Unit
caught Steve shoplifting!
372
00:15:42,861 --> 00:15:45,062
You guys were
shoplifting again?
373
00:15:45,097 --> 00:15:46,464
Skip the lecture.
374
00:15:46,498 --> 00:15:48,799
When people get caught
shoplifting from The Gash,
375
00:15:48,834 --> 00:15:51,335
they're never heard from again.
376
00:15:51,370 --> 00:15:53,204
Well, I wish I could help you,
377
00:15:53,238 --> 00:15:55,339
but I am powerless
without my nuggs.
378
00:15:55,374 --> 00:15:57,541
Only you can save our son.
379
00:15:57,576 --> 00:15:59,777
You're the man
of the house now.
380
00:16:01,079 --> 00:16:02,280
(doors creaking)
381
00:16:06,151 --> 00:16:08,152
Good-bye, Stan.
382
00:16:09,321 --> 00:16:11,822
Do whatever it takes
to get Steve back.
383
00:16:11,857 --> 00:16:14,191
(door slams)
384
00:16:14,226 --> 00:16:19,897
Climb every mountain
385
00:16:19,932 --> 00:16:24,502
Search high and low
386
00:16:24,536 --> 00:16:29,006
Follow every byway
387
00:16:29,041 --> 00:16:33,744
Every path you know
388
00:16:33,779 --> 00:16:38,382
Climb every mountain
389
00:16:38,417 --> 00:16:43,087
Ford every stream
390
00:16:43,121 --> 00:16:47,792
Follow every rainbow
391
00:16:47,826 --> 00:16:51,829
Till you find your dream
392
00:16:51,863 --> 00:16:55,533
A dream that will need
393
00:16:55,567 --> 00:17:01,405
All the love you can give
394
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,842
Every day of your life
395
00:17:04,876 --> 00:17:11,449
For as long as you live
396
00:17:11,483 --> 00:17:16,087
Climb every mountain
397
00:17:16,121 --> 00:17:20,691
Ford every stream
398
00:17:20,726 --> 00:17:25,997
Follow every rainbow
399
00:17:26,031 --> 00:17:35,840
Till you find your dream!
400
00:17:35,874 --> 00:17:37,308
(song ends)
401
00:17:37,342 --> 00:17:39,977
Oh, my God, that
was transcendent!
402
00:17:40,012 --> 00:17:42,146
With you and your heavenly voice
accompanying us,
403
00:17:42,180 --> 00:17:43,814
we'll skyrocket to the top
404
00:17:43,849 --> 00:17:45,683
of the ever-popular
world music charts!
405
00:17:45,717 --> 00:17:48,119
I say we reunite the
band, but as a quartet.
406
00:17:48,153 --> 00:17:49,353
How about it, Daddy?
407
00:17:49,388 --> 00:17:51,288
I suppose
I could give it a try.
408
00:17:51,323 --> 00:17:52,490
Yay!
(whoops)
409
00:17:52,524 --> 00:17:53,657
Yes!
410
00:17:53,692 --> 00:17:54,759
Yeah, it'll be fun, right?
411
00:17:54,793 --> 00:17:56,227
I mean, this could be
just what I need
412
00:17:56,261 --> 00:17:57,628
to get me out
of this living room.
413
00:17:57,662 --> 00:17:59,597
(two pops) (in normal
voice): And back into life.
414
00:17:59,631 --> 00:18:00,998
My boys just dropped!
415
00:18:01,033 --> 00:18:02,166
No, no. No!
416
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,068
Thank God.
I'm back to normal.
417
00:18:04,102 --> 00:18:05,336
I don't have to settle
418
00:18:05,370 --> 00:18:07,638
for a life of singing
with you idiots after all.
419
00:18:07,672 --> 00:18:14,512
Swing low,
sweet chariot...
420
00:18:14,546 --> 00:18:17,181
Ah, to hell with it.
421
00:18:17,215 --> 00:18:18,649
(discordant tones playing)
422
00:18:18,683 --> 00:18:20,151
(birds singing)
423
00:18:20,185 --> 00:18:21,919
Hello.
424
00:18:21,953 --> 00:18:25,256
Welcome to The Gash's
infamous third-world sweatshop.
425
00:18:25,290 --> 00:18:26,457
Hola.
426
00:18:26,491 --> 00:18:29,627
I'm an inspector from...
the government.
427
00:18:29,661 --> 00:18:33,831
We have concerns your sweatshop
isn't cruel enough.
428
00:18:33,865 --> 00:18:35,299
Ridiculous!
429
00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:38,202
As you can see, our facility
is exceptionally cruel.
430
00:18:38,236 --> 00:18:39,503
Our workers may pray
431
00:18:39,538 --> 00:18:41,772
for freedom,
but they hope for death.
432
00:18:41,807 --> 00:18:44,141
Oh, what a pretty coat!
433
00:18:44,176 --> 00:18:45,609
What's your name?
434
00:18:45,644 --> 00:18:47,778
Worker 39872.
435
00:18:47,813 --> 00:18:50,414
But I used
to be called Matilda.
436
00:18:50,449 --> 00:18:52,249
I don't like the spunk
in this one.
437
00:18:52,284 --> 00:18:54,819
Seems like she still
has some will to live.
438
00:18:54,853 --> 00:18:56,854
I'll interview her alone.
439
00:18:58,223 --> 00:19:00,524
Okay, Matilda, here's the deal.
440
00:19:00,559 --> 00:19:02,460
I'm not really an inspector.
441
00:19:02,494 --> 00:19:04,128
I'm a shoplifter,
just like you.
442
00:19:04,162 --> 00:19:05,796
Are-are you the one?
443
00:19:05,831 --> 00:19:07,998
The savior foretold
in our legends
444
00:19:08,033 --> 00:19:09,767
come to free us
from our bondage?
445
00:19:09,801 --> 00:19:11,569
Huh? No.
446
00:19:11,603 --> 00:19:13,370
Oh. That sucks.
447
00:19:13,405 --> 00:19:15,139
Have you seen this kid
around here?
448
00:19:15,173 --> 00:19:16,707
Well, I don't know him,
449
00:19:16,741 --> 00:19:20,010
but, uh, the latest batch of
arrivals ended up in Zone Q.
450
00:19:21,346 --> 00:19:23,481
Wait! If-if you're getting
out of here,
451
00:19:23,515 --> 00:19:24,982
could you take me with you?
452
00:19:25,016 --> 00:19:29,753
You have my word, Matilda.
453
00:19:37,462 --> 00:19:39,029
Steve?!
454
00:19:40,065 --> 00:19:41,532
Floobity-floobity!
455
00:19:41,566 --> 00:19:43,067
(grunts)
456
00:19:43,101 --> 00:19:44,235
Mom?!
457
00:19:44,269 --> 00:19:45,169
Steve!
458
00:19:45,203 --> 00:19:47,371
Let's get out of here.
459
00:19:47,405 --> 00:19:49,073
What about my sensor tag?
460
00:19:49,107 --> 00:19:50,574
You'll never get me
through those gates.
461
00:19:50,609 --> 00:19:52,276
(snap)
462
00:19:52,310 --> 00:19:53,911
Whoa. How'd you do that?
463
00:19:53,945 --> 00:19:55,746
This is me we're talking about.
464
00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:59,150
The woman who once crotchwalked
an oven out of a Sears.
465
00:19:59,184 --> 00:20:01,152
Crotchwalked?
466
00:20:01,186 --> 00:20:02,520
Oh, dear.
467
00:20:05,724 --> 00:20:06,857
Thanks for the access.
468
00:20:06,892 --> 00:20:09,126
I'll be sure to give
a favorable report.
469
00:20:09,161 --> 00:20:10,961
Thank you, and may I just say,
470
00:20:10,996 --> 00:20:13,130
you look in no way
suspicious to me.
471
00:20:15,734 --> 00:20:17,301
(pop) Aah!
472
00:20:17,335 --> 00:20:18,769
Just send me back to work.
473
00:20:18,803 --> 00:20:20,237
I can't be all up in that.
474
00:20:20,272 --> 00:20:22,006
She's trying
to liberate a shoplifter!
475
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:23,541
Seize them!
476
00:20:23,575 --> 00:20:25,476
I'm really sorry, Mom.
477
00:20:25,510 --> 00:20:27,411
I blew it for both of us.
478
00:20:27,445 --> 00:20:29,446
You didn't blow
anything, sweetie.
479
00:20:29,481 --> 00:20:33,951
I've still got one last
shoplifting trick up my sleeve.
480
00:20:33,985 --> 00:20:36,987
(explosion)
481
00:20:37,022 --> 00:20:38,489
(machine gun fire)
482
00:20:38,523 --> 00:20:40,591
Not really a shoplifting trick
483
00:20:40,625 --> 00:20:42,693
so much as one
of Dad's grenades, Mom.
484
00:20:42,727 --> 00:20:44,762
Hey, it worked at Macy's!
485
00:20:44,796 --> 00:20:46,797
(bullet ricocheting)
486
00:20:48,033 --> 00:20:50,034
(crickets chirping)
487
00:20:53,038 --> 00:20:55,039
Matilda!
488
00:20:56,038 --> 00:21:06,772
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
489
00:21:12,018 --> 00:21:14,144
Bitch!
490
00:21:14,194 --> 00:21:18,744
Repair and Synchronization by
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