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00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:03,687
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
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00:00:03,812 --> 00:00:06,132
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
3
00:00:06,298 --> 00:00:09,969
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
4
00:00:10,293 --> 00:00:13,097
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
5
00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:17,316
♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
6
00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:22,881
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
7
00:00:23,006 --> 00:00:24,683
♪ Good... ♪
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
8
00:00:24,808 --> 00:00:26,125
Aah!
9
00:00:27,644 --> 00:00:30,813
♪ Good morning, USA! ♪
10
00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:35,127
Read 'em and weep, ladies.
11
00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:36,745
Just a second there, Dick.
12
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,131
I don't think you've met
13
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:43,535
DJ, Michelle, Stephanie, Comet
and Uncle Jesse!
14
00:00:43,660 --> 00:00:45,327
Full house!
15
00:00:51,968 --> 00:00:52,811
(grunts)
16
00:00:52,936 --> 00:00:54,012
Race riots!
17
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:55,580
Take it easy, Smith.
18
00:00:55,705 --> 00:00:57,282
Dick's just blowing off steam.
19
00:00:57,407 --> 00:00:59,601
Man, I'm always losing at poker!
20
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:00,802
I need a beer.
21
00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:03,789
That's his avatar, Black Dick.
22
00:01:03,914 --> 00:01:06,608
I realize that name
is a rich joke area,
23
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:10,529
but curb yourself people;
this isn't junior high.
24
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:14,099
Although Black Dick
is huge and veiny.
25
00:01:14,224 --> 00:01:16,651
(laughs)
26
00:01:16,776 --> 00:01:18,120
(cell phone ringing)
27
00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:19,187
What up, girl?
28
00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:20,689
Stan, where are you?
29
00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:22,407
It's Steve's birthday!
30
00:01:22,532 --> 00:01:24,259
- Uh...
- Get home before you miss it,
31
00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:26,552
like you have all
his other birthdays.
32
00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:30,932
Uhp, Black Dick, you're spewing foam.
33
00:01:31,057 --> 00:01:32,968
(laughter)
34
00:01:33,134 --> 00:01:35,344
♪ And many more. ♪
35
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:40,659
Got held up looking
all over town for that
36
00:01:40,784 --> 00:01:43,879
pink novelty-sized rabbit my
boy's been hassling me for.
37
00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:47,099
No, you forgot to get Steve
a present and grabbed
38
00:01:47,224 --> 00:01:51,086
the first thing you saw
out of the CIA evidence room.
39
00:01:51,211 --> 00:01:54,689
Stan, we just finally
got Steve off the heroin
40
00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:56,951
from the last birthd present
you gave him.
41
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,528
(whispers):
I got so high.
42
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:09,020
(sighs) Every year
on Steve's birthday,
43
00:02:09,145 --> 00:02:10,881
we watch home movies.
44
00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:12,425
Rolling!
45
00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,300
♪ ♪
46
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,741
STAN: Oh, my God,
I'm not in a single one of these.
47
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:40,125
Oh, wait, I'm probably
the one filming everything.
48
00:02:43,313 --> 00:02:44,322
Who the hell is that?
49
00:02:44,447 --> 00:02:45,666
That's Fernando,
50
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,759
the family cinematographer.
51
00:02:47,884 --> 00:02:51,130
Do you like my new Arizona jeans?
52
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:55,467
I... I haven't been there
for anything in Steve's life.
53
00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:57,452
Yes, Stan, you neglected your son.
54
00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:58,620
Everyone neglects things.
55
00:02:58,745 --> 00:02:59,971
I've neglected these puppies.
56
00:03:00,137 --> 00:03:01,306
(flies buzzing)
57
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,666
They're shy around new people.
58
00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:07,913
Good morning, kiddo.
59
00:03:08,038 --> 00:03:09,940
Sorry again about
missing your birthday.
60
00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:11,817
What do you say
I take you to a ballgame?
61
00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:14,002
Sorry, man, got other plans.
62
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:15,253
What's the problem?
63
00:03:15,378 --> 00:03:16,521
I'm trying to bond with him.
64
00:03:16,646 --> 00:03:17,990
Well, you're too late.
65
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:20,375
Steve's at the age
where he doesn't care about
66
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:22,369
going to a ballgame with his dad.
67
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,596
All he's interested in is girls.
68
00:03:24,721 --> 00:03:27,966
He doesn't want ballgames,
he just wants to ball dames.
69
00:03:28,091 --> 00:03:30,719
Huh? Huh?
70
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:33,755
(laughs):
Ah! Ah!
71
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,716
Aw.
72
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,616
(grunting)
73
00:03:39,903 --> 00:03:41,096
A little help, dude.
74
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,514
My guns are juicing.
75
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:44,549
Don't think I can finish this set.
76
00:03:44,674 --> 00:03:46,184
Carlos, I need a spot!
77
00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:48,229
(groans)
78
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:51,163
(Dixie car horn honking)
79
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,990
Oh, Roger, it's magnificent.
80
00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:00,916
Where did you get it?
81
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:03,401
Oh, I got a great deal.
82
00:04:03,526 --> 00:04:05,103
This limo company went out of bus...
83
00:04:05,228 --> 00:04:07,248
Ah, you know damn well I stole it.
84
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:08,707
Let's go for a ride.
85
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,960
No, no, no, I'm gonna
start a business.
86
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,778
It's always been
a dream of mine to drive people
87
00:04:13,903 --> 00:04:16,715
slightly more privileged than
myself to various locations.
88
00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:18,917
And it is my dream
to accompany people
89
00:04:19,042 --> 00:04:21,844
with slightly
more specific dreams than mine.
90
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:29,395
Happy birthday, friendo.
91
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:33,149
Two tickets
to the Ice Capades on Land?
92
00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:35,533
They twirl around with shoes on!
93
00:04:35,658 --> 00:04:37,269
Oh, that sounds like fun, Steve.
94
00:04:37,394 --> 00:04:38,536
I'm free whatever night that is.
95
00:04:38,661 --> 00:04:39,871
Oh, great.
96
00:04:39,996 --> 00:04:41,806
You can have these,
'cause I don't want to go.
97
00:04:41,931 --> 00:04:43,742
Hey.
98
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,293
Class, this is Phyllis.
99
00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:47,295
She just moved here from Hoboken.
100
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:49,664
I'd like you all to give her
a warm welcome.
101
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,733
Now, I'm not referring to
the sexual position,
102
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:55,136
the warm welcome,
of which I am the inventor.
103
00:04:55,261 --> 00:04:56,771
The basic nature of the move is...
104
00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:58,173
Oh, never mind.
105
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,442
Y'all ain't long enough.
106
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:02,334
♪ ♪
107
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:13,455
You want to go out?
108
00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:14,523
W-What?
109
00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,491
Yeah. I like your face.
110
00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:18,694
We should go out tomorrow,
get to know each other.
111
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,829
Tomorrow? Sure!
112
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:21,796
I mean,
113
00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:24,306
just let me check my schedule.
114
00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:29,904
You know what?
I can move some stuff around.
115
00:05:30,029 --> 00:05:31,122
Perfect.
116
00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:32,724
Wow, I-I don't believe it.
117
00:05:32,849 --> 00:05:34,459
This is too good to be real.
118
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:35,744
Of course this is real.
119
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:37,195
And this is really happening.
120
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:38,563
Because this is real.
121
00:05:38,688 --> 00:05:40,789
Really, really real.
122
00:05:47,075 --> 00:05:50,559
Smith, what did I say about
fooling around with the avatars?
123
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:51,977
I wasn't fooling around, sir.
124
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,144
This is serious.
125
00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:54,613
My son wants nothing to do with me,
126
00:05:54,738 --> 00:05:56,898
and the only way to get close
to him is to be
127
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,109
an incredibly stacked teenage girl.
128
00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:01,286
I totally understand.
129
00:06:01,411 --> 00:06:02,954
Now, if you'll excuse me,
130
00:06:03,079 --> 00:06:04,980
I have some important
business to attend to.
131
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:10,621
(machine beeps)
132
00:06:14,157 --> 00:06:14,959
(crying)
133
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:16,836
Another feeding?
134
00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:19,004
My, you have quite the appetite.
135
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:25,094
(Dixie car horn honking)
136
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:26,761
♪ ♪
137
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:28,647
Okay, the bars are emptying out.
138
00:06:28,772 --> 00:06:30,873
Time to get our first client ever.
139
00:06:33,910 --> 00:06:35,003
(laughter)
Yeah!
140
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,705
Ah, yeah!
Yeah, yeah!
141
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:39,691
Looks like you fine gentlemen
are making memories tonight.
142
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,526
20 bucks, anywhere you want to go.
143
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:42,961
(Bleep) you!
144
00:06:43,086 --> 00:06:44,779
Aha, the jester.
145
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:46,114
Every group has one.
146
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,616
Come on, get in, you rascals.
147
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:57,175
(burps)
148
00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:58,753
(laughter)
Oh, my God!
149
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,755
That was such a hot burp!
150
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,197
Suck it up, Klaus.
151
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:03,265
This is a service industry.
152
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,232
Just be professional.
153
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:06,225
You guys are so crazy.
154
00:07:08,695 --> 00:07:11,089
Oh, man, is that your bottom?
155
00:07:11,214 --> 00:07:13,308
Oh, you put it right next to my face.
156
00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:15,777
That's so funny...
Oh, you farted, too.
157
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:18,063
You guys are so much fun.
158
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:22,985
♪ ♪
159
00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:28,757
Okay, guys, here we are.
160
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:31,410
And here's a memento for you
at no extra charge.
161
00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:36,331
So, will you be paying
your $20 in cash or... Hey!
162
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,291
Can't catch me!
(laughter)
163
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,460
Thanks for the ride, sucker!
164
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,803
I can't believe it.
165
00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:44,439
I treated them with nothing
but respect and civility,
166
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:46,331
and they want to stiff me?
167
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,477
(tires screeching)
168
00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:51,262
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?
169
00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:53,182
You don't mess with a man's dream.
170
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,484
Whoa!
171
00:07:56,609 --> 00:07:58,270
Dude, you killed him!
172
00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:02,724
One down, four to go.
173
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:05,593
You're really gonna
kill five people over $20?
174
00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:07,562
Are you really asking that to the guy
175
00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:11,032
who just last week killed
six people over $19?
176
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,410
Oh, yeah.
177
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,913
(crowd cheering)
178
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:17,539
This is a lot of fun, right?
179
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,667
I'm so glad we got to hang today.
180
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:20,792
Me, too.
181
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:21,760
(bat cracks)
182
00:08:21,885 --> 00:08:22,951
(gasps)
183
00:08:24,893 --> 00:08:26,197
Here you go, champ.
184
00:08:26,322 --> 00:08:27,165
Souvenir.
185
00:08:27,290 --> 00:08:28,600
Aw, thanks!
186
00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:30,235
Oh, uh, hey, you hungry?
187
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,504
(grunting)
188
00:08:32,629 --> 00:08:34,039
(sighs)
189
00:08:34,164 --> 00:08:36,107
Oh, there was a paper
doily under that,
190
00:08:36,232 --> 00:08:39,060
but I'm sure you'll
figure that out later.
191
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:41,856
I had such an awesome time, Steve.
192
00:08:42,138 --> 00:08:43,649
I can't believe
how close we're getting.
193
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,485
I know one way we cod get closer.
194
00:08:51,915 --> 00:08:52,991
Good night, kiddo.
195
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,359
It's been a blast.
196
00:08:54,484 --> 00:08:55,994
Yeah, it was great.
197
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,786
Good night.
198
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:07,806
(tires screech)
199
00:09:07,931 --> 00:09:09,508
(explosion)
200
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:18,483
(mechanical whirring)
201
00:09:18,608 --> 00:09:20,151
(whistling)
202
00:09:20,276 --> 00:09:21,136
(cell phone ringing)
203
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:22,237
Hello?
204
00:09:22,362 --> 00:09:23,204
FRANCINE:
Finally you answer!
205
00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:24,873
I've been calling and calling.
206
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:27,175
I told you,
Steve had a big date tonight
207
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,843
and you should've been here
to see him off!
208
00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:30,852
Oh, we were there.
209
00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:33,574
(cell phone ringing)
210
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:34,799
Hello?
211
00:09:34,924 --> 00:09:36,033
Bitch, did you just hang up on...
212
00:09:36,158 --> 00:09:36,911
(phone beeps)
213
00:09:39,629 --> 00:09:41,296
(school bell rings)
214
00:09:43,466 --> 00:09:44,592
You coming, Steve?
215
00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:47,328
Barry swallowed
a whole roll of quarters.
216
00:09:47,453 --> 00:09:50,265
We're gonna wait for them to
pass and then hit up the arcade.
217
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:52,176
I don't trust the banks!
218
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:53,518
You guys go without me.
219
00:09:53,643 --> 00:09:55,387
I got some girl stuff
I got to figure out.
220
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:57,305
Oh, women.
221
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,841
Let me tell you what I know
about women, Steve.
222
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:04,563
If you buy a woman's shoe, in
your size, it will not fit you.
223
00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:11,436
So, Steve, uh, how are
things going with Phyllis?
224
00:10:11,561 --> 00:10:13,204
You know, she's beautiful,
225
00:10:13,329 --> 00:10:15,673
but I think she just
wants to be my buddy.
226
00:10:15,798 --> 00:10:17,842
Maybe she's not the one for me.
227
00:10:17,967 --> 00:10:20,945
Well, maybe the one for you has been
228
00:10:21,070 --> 00:10:23,782
right in front of your
face this entire time.
229
00:10:23,907 --> 00:10:25,835
Yeah? Who?
230
00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:28,087
(speaking orc)
231
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:34,392
There's a lot about me you don't ow.
232
00:10:34,517 --> 00:10:37,972
♪ ♪
233
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:44,018
I can't believe Tad's dead.
234
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:46,321
I can't believe I already
banged his girlfriend.
235
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:48,356
I can't believe I watched.
236
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,678
Oh, you did a little more than watch.
237
00:10:50,803 --> 00:10:52,635
- Yeah, man.
- Yeah.
238
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,796
(Dixie car horn honking)
239
00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:55,739
(tires screeching)
240
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:03,671
Oh, no!
241
00:11:03,796 --> 00:11:05,039
Oh, my God, is that
242
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:06,574
on the inside or the outside?
243
00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:08,300
Oh, it's on the outside.
244
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,524
(tires squealing)
245
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:21,480
(whistling)
246
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,310
What's gotten into you, Steve?
247
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:26,694
Oh, Mother, it's the love bug,
248
00:11:26,819 --> 00:11:28,481
and I want to be sick forever.
249
00:11:28,647 --> 00:11:30,298
This must be some girl.
250
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,734
Oh, she is. I'm gonna ask her
251
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:33,694
to the homecoming dance.
252
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,988
Homecoming! Oh, Steve!
253
00:11:36,312 --> 00:11:38,923
Does this little minx have a name?
254
00:11:39,048 --> 00:11:40,692
It's Chelsea.
255
00:11:40,817 --> 00:11:42,527
Chelsea?! What happened
to that other girl
256
00:11:42,652 --> 00:11:43,695
you were seeing, Phyllis?
257
00:11:43,820 --> 00:11:45,396
She was really enjoying
her time with you.
258
00:11:45,521 --> 00:11:46,664
Sure didn't seem like it.
259
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:47,932
She wouldn't even kiss me.
260
00:11:48,057 --> 00:11:50,201
Nice girls don't kiss
on the first date, Steve.
261
00:11:50,326 --> 00:11:53,204
Your mom wouldn't kiss me
until our third date.
262
00:11:53,329 --> 00:11:56,467
It made the sex on the first
two dates very impersonal.
263
00:12:00,503 --> 00:12:02,280
Whoa, Kanye!
264
00:12:02,405 --> 00:12:04,549
What's with the big-time entrance?
265
00:12:04,674 --> 00:12:06,451
I'm about to ask Chelsea
to the dance.
266
00:12:06,576 --> 00:12:08,786
Thought I should arrive in style.
267
00:12:08,911 --> 00:12:11,113
If you boys'll excuse me.
268
00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,276
Hey, Steve.
Want to hang out?
269
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,570
I got your favorite, meatball subs.
270
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,115
Look, Phyllis,
I don't think it's gonna work out.
271
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:20,866
Don't say that!
Why are you...
272
00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:22,116
... saying that?
273
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,585
I'm sorry, I'm just...
274
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:26,020
I'm looking for something
more than friendship.
275
00:12:26,145 --> 00:12:28,456
Uh, if you go to the dance with me,
276
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:29,958
I'll have sex with you.
277
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,583
Okay!
278
00:12:46,397 --> 00:12:47,798
This is sick, man!
279
00:12:47,923 --> 00:12:49,850
Are you really going to
go through with this?
280
00:12:49,975 --> 00:12:52,285
I've already missed so
much of Steve's life.
281
00:12:52,410 --> 00:12:54,554
This way,
I get to keep hanging out with him.
282
00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:56,673
Plus, I get to be there for his
283
00:12:56,798 --> 00:12:58,277
biggest milestone ever:
losing his virginity.
284
00:12:58,533 --> 00:13:00,243
To you, you idiot!
285
00:13:00,368 --> 00:13:02,158
Have you even thought this through?
286
00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:03,847
Look, fathers take their sons
to whorehouses
287
00:13:03,972 --> 00:13:05,866
to lose their virginity all the time.
288
00:13:05,991 --> 00:13:07,621
This is almost just like that.
289
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,704
Except I will be locked
in eye contact with my son
290
00:13:10,829 --> 00:13:12,997
while he plows my cyber soil.
291
00:13:15,934 --> 00:13:18,011
STEVE: Hey, Mom,
can you teach me how to shave?
292
00:13:18,136 --> 00:13:21,431
Aah! I can't believe
your father's not here.
293
00:13:21,556 --> 00:13:23,083
I'm going down to the CIA
294
00:13:23,208 --> 00:13:25,609
to give him a piece of my mind.
295
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,924
They got run over, man!
296
00:13:31,049 --> 00:13:32,142
They're dead!
297
00:13:32,267 --> 00:13:33,143
We're next, I know it.
298
00:13:33,268 --> 00:13:35,846
Bro, relax!
Go splash some water
299
00:13:35,971 --> 00:13:37,948
on your face and pull
yourself together, man.
300
00:13:38,073 --> 00:13:39,383
We're gonna be fine.
301
00:13:39,508 --> 00:13:41,575
Remember, we're Lanes AdAddiction.
302
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:52,195
(engine idling nearby)
303
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,154
(brakes screeching)
304
00:14:03,648 --> 00:14:05,549
Oh, thank God.
305
00:14:06,851 --> 00:14:08,786
(Dixie car horn playing,
engine revving)
306
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:19,597
(techno music playing)
307
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,407
(rap music plays)
308
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:28,439
Oh, this is my ish!
309
00:14:57,218 --> 00:14:59,954
♪ ♪
310
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,219
Come on, let's go get some privacy.
311
00:15:06,344 --> 00:15:07,821
Uh, right now?
312
00:15:07,946 --> 00:15:09,076
What's the hurry?
313
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:11,775
I'm sorry, I'm just excited.
314
00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:13,360
I mean, this is gonna be
315
00:15:13,485 --> 00:15:15,249
the biggest moment of my life.
316
00:15:17,606 --> 00:15:22,047
(sighs) And I'm gonna finally
be there for it.
317
00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:23,611
(tires screeching)
318
00:15:25,964 --> 00:15:27,174
Stan, this is the last time
319
00:15:27,299 --> 00:15:29,376
you put work before Steve!
320
00:15:29,501 --> 00:15:31,891
He's actually with Steve right now.
321
00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:34,514
What? So Stan's at the dance?
322
00:15:34,639 --> 00:15:37,517
No, he's here, but he's
remotely controlling
323
00:15:37,642 --> 00:15:39,386
a teen girl at the dance
324
00:15:39,511 --> 00:15:41,821
who's about to get
sex-pummeled by your son.
325
00:15:41,946 --> 00:15:42,902
What?!
326
00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:44,820
It's a lot like Avatar.
327
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:45,892
Like what?
328
00:15:46,017 --> 00:15:49,462
Avatar.
It's a movie?
329
00:15:49,587 --> 00:15:54,467
Okay, okay, so there's
this guy in a wheelchair,
330
00:15:54,592 --> 00:15:56,136
and he goes to this alien planet
331
00:15:56,261 --> 00:15:57,721
to join a program...
332
00:15:57,846 --> 00:16:02,042
So you pick a dragon and get
to keep it forever?
333
00:16:02,167 --> 00:16:04,277
No, it picks you.
334
00:16:04,402 --> 00:16:07,280
Wait! Stan's about
to use an avatar's body
335
00:16:07,405 --> 00:16:09,466
to take Steve's virginity?
336
00:16:09,591 --> 00:16:12,052
Stan, get out of there!
337
00:16:12,177 --> 00:16:14,004
He can't hear you in there.
338
00:16:14,129 --> 00:16:16,540
That's impenetrable glass.
You'll never get in.
339
00:16:16,665 --> 00:16:19,209
Fine, I'll just go to the dance
and kick the crap
340
00:16:19,334 --> 00:16:20,727
out of that girl he's controlling!
341
00:16:20,852 --> 00:16:21,962
Careful, Francine!
342
00:16:22,087 --> 00:16:24,588
These avatars have
superhuman strength.
343
00:16:33,848 --> 00:16:36,293
(hushed): Let's make a baby.
344
00:16:36,418 --> 00:16:38,419
Yeah, sexy talk.
345
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:42,315
Let me just go to the washroom,
346
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:43,650
cut a couple anxiety farts
347
00:16:43,775 --> 00:16:46,253
and then come back
here and go to town
348
00:16:46,378 --> 00:16:48,338
on your continental divide.
349
00:16:48,463 --> 00:16:49,496
(snaps fingers)
350
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:58,164
Okay, okay, stop freaking out.
351
00:16:58,289 --> 00:16:59,683
You can do this.
352
00:16:59,808 --> 00:17:01,551
Pictured it a million times
in your head.
353
00:17:01,676 --> 00:17:03,136
Oh! Oh, God!
354
00:17:03,261 --> 00:17:04,871
I just pictured it again!
355
00:17:04,996 --> 00:17:08,399
Oh, oh... (sighs)
356
00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:23,497
Get away from him, you bitch!
357
00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:33,049
I can't believe you'd do this, Stan!
358
00:17:33,174 --> 00:17:34,274
This stops now!
359
00:17:45,336 --> 00:17:47,318
Get out of here, Francine.
360
00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:50,524
This is the only way I can
remain close to Steve.
361
00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:55,362
(grunts)
362
00:17:56,180 --> 00:17:57,164
(metallic clang)
363
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,874
We were finally spending
quality time together.
364
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,947
And then he was gonna dump me
for that nerd,
365
00:18:04,072 --> 00:18:06,490
and I just won't lose him again!
366
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:12,839
Must... get plowed...
367
00:18:12,964 --> 00:18:14,595
by son.
368
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:17,961
No, Stan, this isn't the way!
369
00:18:18,086 --> 00:18:20,563
You might've missed
his first 14 years,
370
00:18:20,688 --> 00:18:23,771
but you can still be there
for his next 14.
371
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:26,357
He's gonna die at 28?
372
00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:28,238
Maybe.
Maybe sooner.
373
00:18:28,363 --> 00:18:32,025
Look, I know you want
to be closer to Steve,
374
00:18:32,150 --> 00:18:35,018
but all you can do is be there
for him.
375
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,290
Wha... what happened?
376
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:47,407
Steve, you're a terrific kid,
377
00:18:47,532 --> 00:18:50,881
but I'm not right for you.
378
00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:54,948
Besides, there's a homely,
kinky-haired beauty out there
379
00:18:55,073 --> 00:18:57,930
who'd just love to dance
with you right now.
380
00:18:58,096 --> 00:18:59,786
Snot wants to dance with me?
381
00:18:59,911 --> 00:19:03,523
Oh, wait, Chelsea, got it,
got it, got it.
382
00:19:03,648 --> 00:19:04,854
I'm gonna go get her back!
383
00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:07,093
Hey, Steve.
Yeah?
384
00:19:07,218 --> 00:19:08,795
Your dad, he loves you.
385
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:10,997
I'm sorry, are you...?
386
00:19:11,122 --> 00:19:12,799
Have you been spending
time with my dad?
387
00:19:12,924 --> 00:19:13,833
No!
388
00:19:13,958 --> 00:19:15,568
Is that where he's been?
389
00:19:15,693 --> 00:19:17,364
Is that why he's gone all the time?
390
00:19:17,595 --> 00:19:18,838
What?
391
00:19:18,963 --> 00:19:21,574
Are you... are you banging my dad?!
392
00:19:21,699 --> 00:19:24,110
Hey! Whoa!
Come on!
393
00:19:24,235 --> 00:19:25,912
(sighs) Okay, good.
394
00:19:26,037 --> 00:19:27,881
'Cause you could do better.
395
00:19:28,006 --> 00:19:29,015
A lot better.
396
00:19:29,140 --> 00:19:30,541
See ya!
397
00:19:31,793 --> 00:19:33,627
(Bleep) you, Steve.
398
00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:44,421
(sighs)
399
00:19:50,065 --> 00:19:53,296
(car engine revving, tires
squealing, Dixie horn playing)
400
00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:56,192
(screaming)
401
00:19:56,317 --> 00:19:57,364
(loud thud)
402
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,102
(explosion)
403
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,017
Roger, you got your revenge.
404
00:20:05,142 --> 00:20:06,827
Can we go home now?
405
00:20:08,112 --> 00:20:09,038
(screams)
406
00:20:09,163 --> 00:20:10,086
Roger!
407
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:12,191
I'm sorry, I got the blood lust!
408
00:20:12,316 --> 00:20:13,589
Eventually I'll get bored with it.
409
00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:15,528
Remember when I was
super into Jiffy Pop?
410
00:20:15,653 --> 00:20:18,214
Had it all the time
for a snack? Overdid it.
411
00:20:18,339 --> 00:20:20,049
Then I started having
a little Greek yogurt
412
00:20:20,174 --> 00:20:22,502
and berries at night.
That's all I need.
413
00:20:22,627 --> 00:20:24,420
Hey, so what's happening
with that girl?
414
00:20:24,545 --> 00:20:26,141
You still e-mailing with...?
415
00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:32,128
You did the right thing, Stan.
416
00:20:32,253 --> 00:20:35,582
I know, I'm just gonna miss
being close with him.
417
00:20:35,707 --> 00:20:37,450
Hey, honey, how'd the dance go?
418
00:20:37,575 --> 00:20:39,586
Ah, turns out Chelsea didn't like
419
00:20:39,711 --> 00:20:41,488
that I went to the
dance with Phyllis.
420
00:20:41,613 --> 00:20:42,989
She's got way more pride
421
00:20:43,114 --> 00:20:44,620
than her physical appearance
would suggest.
422
00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:45,575
(sobbing)
423
00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:47,877
Th-There.
There, there.
424
00:20:48,002 --> 00:20:51,297
Anyway, I'm gonna go hit the sack.
425
00:20:51,422 --> 00:20:53,733
Then probably go to bed.
426
00:20:53,858 --> 00:20:54,691
Good night.
427
00:20:56,761 --> 00:20:59,589
Thanks for listening, Dad.
428
00:20:59,714 --> 00:21:01,357
Did you see that?
429
00:21:01,482 --> 00:21:02,959
I was there for him!
430
00:21:03,084 --> 00:21:04,861
I was there to help him through
431
00:21:04,986 --> 00:21:06,729
this terrible moment in his life.
432
00:21:06,854 --> 00:21:09,032
But you caused that terrible moment!
433
00:21:09,157 --> 00:21:12,626
Yup. Everything worked out
for everybody in the end.
434
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:22,158
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
435
00:21:33,168 --> 00:21:35,644
Is this your smallest condom?
436
00:21:35,769 --> 00:21:36,928
Nothing tinier?
437
00:21:37,053 --> 00:21:39,464
Would they shrink
if I put them in the dryer?
438
00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:41,066
I don't know, man.
439
00:21:41,191 --> 00:21:43,179
Ah, this is tough.
440
00:21:43,393 --> 00:21:45,806
All right, I'll try 'em.
441
00:21:45,856 --> 00:21:50,406
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