All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S12E18.A.Wife.in.the.Office.1080p.WEB-DL.AMZN.H.264.DDP.2.0_track3_[eng]

[theme music]

- "The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

And here's Rick.

And also starring in tonight's
episode, here's June.

[music playing]

- Sure is a good dinner, Mom.

- Oh, thank you.

- Yeah, it sure is.

Boy, I forgot what
a good cook you are.

- Well, thank you both.

I wish you'd come
over more often.

- Yeah, me too.

I could stand a few more
good meals like this.

[laughs]

- Watch it, bud.

Oh, say, June, before
I forget, there's

a wonderful sale at
the Emporium tomorrow.

- Oh, good.
- Harriet, I was only kidding.

[laughs]
- No relax, dear.

I was going to tell
her about it anyway.

Would you like to have lunch
with me and go over there?

- Oh, gee, I'd love
to, Mom, but I think

I'm starting a job tomorrow.

- You mean a job in an office?

- Uh-huh.

It's just for a couple of weeks,
but I know the boss pretty well

and he's very fond of me,
at least he claims to be.

He's always putting his arms
around me and kissing me.

- My secretary is going on a
vacation for a couple of weeks,

and June wants to take over.

- [laughs]

- That sounds like fun.

- Yeah.

- Well, the kissing
part is, but I'm not

so sure about her working
down at the office.

- Well, I don't see why.

- Why don't we talk about
it later when we get home?

- He doesn't think
I'm intelligent enough

to handle the job.

- Now, wait a second.

I didn't say that.

- Well, then you'll
let me do it?

- Look, honey--

- You see?

- Intelligence and experience
are two different things.

There's a lot of
work to be done,

and things get pretty
complicated down

at a law office.

- And you don't think
I could handle it?

- Well, let's put it this way...

- You don't.

- No, I didn't say that.

- Well, you didn't say anything.

That's just like
saying you don't.

- Well, it's just that there
will be a lot of legal papers

to type up and
shorthand to take.

You might be out of practice.

- Are you kidding?

I can type just as
well as I ever did.

- That's what I'm afraid of.

- What do you mean?

I worked there before.

- Hey, that's right.

That's where you
two met, wasn't it?

- Sure.

- Look, this may come
as quite a surprise,

but it wasn't your typing
I fell in love with.

- Well, it's the
first job I ever had.

Naturally, I was
a little nervous.

- Yeah, you sure were.

I never will forget
that first morning you

came into the office.

- Hi, Dave.

- Oh, hi.

- Gee, I hope I'm on time.

- Oh, you're right on time.

May I take your sweater for you?

- Oh, thank you.

Oh, it certainly
is a nice office.

- Oh, it's very comfortable.

That's Mr. Kelley's
office in there.

He's not in yet.

And this will be your desk here.

It's, uh, Ms. Edwards's desk.

She's our regular secretary.

Let's see.

Uh, this is the telephone here.

And, uh, this is the typewriter.

And the water cooler
is over there.

- Dave, I certainly
appreciate this chance.

- Oh, that's OK.

I didn't get much time
to talk to you yesterday.

I hope you don't mind if
I ask you a few questions.

- Oh, no, not at all.

- Um, of course you
realize that, uh, typing

legal documents is a very--

- Exacting?

- Yes, exacting.

Um, have you worked in
a law office before?

- No, I haven't.

But-- but you have done
some secretarial work?

- Well, no, not actually.

- But you can type?

- Oh, yes, I always
type my homework

and all my school papers
and stuff like that.

- Oh, good.

Now I remember why
you were so nervous.

You were completely unprepared.

- Oh, I was not!

Besides, you have
to start someplace.

As I remember, you
weren't much help,

pacing up and down the office.

And every time I looked
up, you were looking at me.

- Well, I was suffering along
with you, and with every word

you typed.

[music playing and typing]

- [laughs]

- And to make matters
worse, Mr. Kelley came out

and dictated a letter to her.

I was sure we were both
going to get fired.

[music playing]

Did you get that
letter all right?

- I'm sure I got everything.

- Oh, good.

Sometimes he talks pretty fast.

I forgot to ask you if
you could take shorthand.

- Oh, I don't actually
take shorthand,

but I write pretty
fast and I have

kind of a system of my own.

- Oh.

Well, as long as
you got everything.

- Oh, I'm sure I did.

Who's this Mr. McCann?

- That's, uh, Mr. McClane.

- Oh.

Well, you have to admit one
thing, I erased very neatly.

[laughter]

And I got the work
done eventually,

and I did a very good job.

- Yes, I know.

- Then you'll hire me?

- Well, uh, we'll talk about
it later when we get home.

- That's a chicken way
out if I ever heard one.

Come on, Mom, I'll help
you with the dishes.

- Well, you mean we're not going
to find out how this turns out?

- Well, I'll call you
tomorrow from the office

and let you know.

- Well, congratulations, Dave.

You've just lost
another argument.

- You know something?

I never had a chance.

- [laughs]

- But just to keep
things interesting,

I may struggle just
a little longer.

[music playing]

- I do a lot of typing.

I type recipes and letters
and, well, lots of things.

- I believe you.

- Well, where's the typewriter?

I'll show you.

- Where's the typewriter?

You mean you've been
doing all this typing

without a typewriter?

- Come on, Dave, don't
change the subject.

- I'm not changing the subject.

Besides, it's not so
much a question of

whether you can do
the work or not.

- Well, why don't
you let me try?

- Well, I just don't
think it's a good idea.

I have my work to
do at the office,

and you have a lot of
things to do at home here.

- OK, well, just
forget it for now.

Why don't you sit
down here and relax?

- Oh, thank you.

- Read the paper and just
get nice and comfortable.

[music playing]

You know, you have
very nice ears.

- Thank you.

- I like your eyes, too.

I really like your mouth.

Let me see your mouth again.

Yes, it's a very nice mouth.

- Well, I'm sure glad
you're not trying

to get a job someplace else.

- You mean I'm hired?

- Are you kidding?

I didn't have a chance,
and you know it.

- Well, you'll never
regret this decision, sir.

- Hey, uh, wait a second.

Uh, the interview
isn't over yet.

- Well, I've got to
get the typewriter

so I can practice
my typing, and I

got to find the
shorthand book, and I

got to get my clothes
together for the office.

[music playing]

- You don't have to
worry about these.

Dave will probably ask
about them a few times,

but they can wait
until I get back.

- Hmm, glad to hear that.

- Well, let's see.

Oh, yeah, these letters
better go out today.

- Letters?
- Oh, they're already typed.

All you have to do is
have Dave sign them,

put them in the envelopes,
put stamps on them,

and drop them in the mail.

- Well, that sounds easy enough.

- Now, this is Dave's
appointment book.

Be sure to look
through it every day

and remind Dave of
all his appointments.

I usually remind him
twice, the night before

and the day of the appointment.

Am I confusing you
with all these details?

- Oh, no, not at all.

Let's see if I've got
everything straight.

Now, this is a desk, and
this is a typewriter,

and this is a [indistinct].

And I'm sure I'll
be using it a lot.

- You'll do fine.

- Well, I hope so.

At least I'm going to try hard.

Oh, but don't you worry.

You have a real good time.
- Oh, thanks.

- Oh, and drop me a card and
let me know how the skiing is.

- OK.

And don't be too nice
to David while I'm gone.

I don't want him spoiled
by the time I get back.

- I'll remember.

- Everything arranged?

- Yeah, I was just giving June
a few last minute tips on how

to get along with the boss.

- Oh, well, don't
let me interrupt.

- Oh, one more thing.

If he comes in
grouchy, walks right

by you and into his office
without saying hello,

means he's either lost a case
or had a fight with his wife.

- [laughs]

- Either way, just ignore me.

Well, have a good time,
forget about the office,

and we'll see in two weeks.

- OK, thanks.

And good luck, you two.
- Thanks.

- Bye, Connie.

[music playing]

Well, here we are.

What do you want me
to do first, honey?

- Well, uh, first,
maybe you'd better

be careful about
calling me "honey."

This is supposed to be
a dignified law office.

- Oh.

OK, boss.

- Yeah, that's better.

Uh, did Connie give you
Mrs. Wilson's briefs?

- Her what?

- The briefs on the Wilson
case, the legal papers.

- Oh.

Oh, yes, they're
right over here.

- Thanks.

Incidentally, you look
very pretty this morning.

- Oh, well, thank you very much.

You're the nicest
boss I've ever had.

- Oh.

- This is a very
dignified law office.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- [clears throat]

- Oh.

Uh, hi, Mr. Kemp.

Uh, this is my
temporary secretary.

She's taking my wife's place.

That is, my wife is taking
my secretary's place.

This is my wife.

- How do you do?

- Hello.

[music playing]

- How you doing, Mrs. Nelson?
- Oh, fine.

Thanks.

- I just want to tell
you what a beautiful job

you did typing these letters.

- Well, thank you.

What letters?

- Uh, these, the ones
you put on my desk.

- Oh.

Connie typed those.

- Oh.

Oh, well, in that case,
let me congratulate you

on your honesty, Mrs. Nelson.

- Well, thank you, Mr. Nelson.

- Oh, and don't you think
it might be better if we

dispense with the formality?

- Yeah, it does sound
kind of strange.

- Yeah, uh, why don't
I just call you June?

- OK.

- And you can call
me Mr. Nelson.

- Mr. Nelson, yes.

[music playing]

Oh, good morning.
May I help you?

- Yes.

I'm Susie Logan.

I have an appointment
with Mr. Nelson.

- You do?

Oh, yes, you do.

Uh, won't you sit down?

- Thank you.

- Mr. Nelson?

- Yes?

- Miss Logan is here to see you.

- OK, I'll be right out.

- He'll be right with you.

- Thank you.

It's a beautiful
morning, isn't it?

- Yes, isn't it?

- Morning.
- Hi, Dave.

- Won't you come in?

- Yes, thank you.

- I'll be right with you.

Gee, I'm sorry, honey.

I guess I should
have introduced you.

Uh, she's just a client.

- Oh.

What's she guilty of?

- Oh, she's not
guilty of anything.

- Not yet.

- I'm just doing some
legal work for her.

I'm going over some contracts.

Uh, it's customary
to close the door.

- Oh, well, you don't
have to explain.

- Oh, OK.

Well, I'll be in here if
you need me for anything.

[music playing]

- Uh, hi.
- Hi.

Uh, would you get the
contracts for Mark Logan?

I had the wrong ones on my desk.

- Oh, they were right here.

They were right here.

Don't you want me to
bring them in to you?

- No, that's OK.
That's it right there.

Thanks.
- Oh.

Excuse me, Mr.
Nelson, but here's

something I thought you
should be reminded of.

- Oh, thank you.

Uh, yes, thank you.

I'll keep that in mind.

[music playing]

June?

June?

- You'll just have
to wait, mack.

There's nobody here right now.
- But this is my office.

- We've been waiting
for somebody to show up.

Will you sign for this
filing cabinet, please?

- Oh, yeah, sure.

- Your secretary said
he couldn't sign for it.

- I'm not the secretary.

I just came to fix
the typewriter.

- Do you mind signing
for this, please?

- Uh, OK.
What is it?

- Stationery.

- Where do you want
this filing cabinet?

- Uh, gee, I really don't know.

Uh, why don't you put it in
that little room over there?

- Here you are.

- Thank you.

- Oh, hi, Harry.
- Well, hello, Dave.

- I'm sorry to keep you waiting.
- You just take your time.

I'm beginning to enjoy this.
- I'll be right with you.

- All right.

- Uh, where's my wife?

- Don't ask me.

I got troubles enough
with my own wife.

- No, no, my wife
is my secretary.

Wasn't she here
when you got here?

- Oh, a girl with kind
of reddish brown hair?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, she was here.

She went out someplace.

She asked me to answer
the phone for her.

- Did she say where
she was going?

- No, she said
she'd be right back.

That was about,
uh, 20 minutes ago.

- Yes?

- I'm from Judge
Willoughby's office.

Will you sign for these, please?
- Oh, yeah, sure.

[music playing]

- Thank you.

[phone ringing]

- Hello?
Who is it?

- I'll take it.

- Hello?

They hung up.

Well, look, I'd better be going.

Uh, I'll leave you in
charge, if you don't mind.

- Oh.

Uh, thanks for
answering the phone.

- My pleasure.

- I'm sorry, Harry.

- That's OK, Dave.

- Oh, hi.
The boss just came in.

- Why, thanks.

Did you get the
typewriter fixed?

- There was nothing
wrong with it.

You just forgot to turn it on.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

Well, thanks for
watching the phone.

- That's OK.

- I'll be right with you, Harry.
Where have you been?

- I just went down
to the market.

We didn't have anything
in the house for dinner.

- Well, you should have
stayed in the office.

- We have to eat, you know.

Besides, it was very
quiet when I left.

- Well, when I got here,
it was like a madhouse.

- It doesn't seem too bad to me.

No wonder your secretary
needed a vacation.

Boy, you sure are a grouch.

- Look, I'm just trying to
impress you with the fact

that this is a business office.

- Well, you keep that
up and I'm gonna cry.

- Well, control
yourself, will you?

I got a client in
the other office.

- Well, is that the only reason
you don't want me to cry?

- No, of course not.

Uh, look, honey, we'll
talk about it later.

Now, stop worrying.
Everything's fine.

[music playing]

Gee, I'm sorry to keep
you waiting, Harry.

- That's OK.

Oh, gee, thanks, Dave, but
I've already had lunch.

- Oh, uh, excuse
me for a minute.

June?

Oh, no.

June?

- I'm in here.
- What are you doing in there?

- I was looking for
the refrigerator.

- We don't have a refrigerator.
- You don't?

Well, what kind
of office is this?

- It's a law office.

Why do you need a refrigerator?

- Oh.

Well, what am I
gonna do with the ice

cream and all this frozen food?

- I don't know.

Well, why don't
you take it home?

- Oh, OK.

I'll be right back.

- It's getting pretty late.

You might as well stay there.

- What about all the
work here at the office?

I know, I can take it
with me and do it at home.

- Oh, OK.

You're sure you can
handle all this?

- Sure.

Oh, could I take the car?

You could take the bus.

- Yeah, OK, that'd be fine.

Is this what you need?

- Thanks.

I'll see you later.

- OK.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

No, it isn't.

You must have the wrong number.

- We came back for
the filing cabinet.

We were supposed to
deliver that next door.

- Oh, OK.

It's right in the room
where you left it.

- Why'd you sign for it?

- Well, I didn't know.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Hello?
Yes, it is.

- Dave, you're a little busy.
I'll come back later.

- Oh, that's OK.

I'll be right with you.

- Yeah.

- Uh, yes, Judge.

Yes, sir.

- I forgot to kiss you goodbye.

[music playing]

- How are you doing?

- Pretty good.

That is, I was doing pretty
good until you asked.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- Well, I'll just ex it out.

How do you spell "affidavit?"

- Uh, A-F-F-I-D-A--

- Wait, you're going too fast.

- --D-A-V-I-T.

- Thanks.

How are you coming?

- Oh, pretty good.

Dinner will be ready
in a few minutes.

[music playing]

- Dave?

- Yeah?

- I'm sorry I goofed
everything up today.

- That's OK, honey.

You did fine.

- Did you look at the
stuff I typed tonight?

- Yeah, it's OK.

- Are you sure?

- Stop worrying, will
you, and go to sleep.

We've got a big day
ahead of us tomorrow.

[music playing]

- Dave?

- Yeah?

- I'm sorry you had to
cook dinner tonight.

- That's OK.

I'm sorry you had to eat it.

- Oh, it was good.
I liked it.

I like my hamburgers
dry like that.

- Oh, thanks, anyway.

- Are you sure the stuff
I typed was all right?

- Yeah, I told you, at least
I couldn't find any mistakes.

- I bet you're just saying that.

I'm afraid I'm not a
very efficient secretary.

- You did fine.

I'll say this, you're
the friendliest secretary

I've ever known.

- Good night.

- Night night.

- Hello, Mr. Jackson?

This is Mr. Nelson's secretary.

We have the writ of habeas
corpus in the McCann

litigation, but it's our
contention that this is a case

of [non-english speech].

- Uh, June, what are you doing?

Who are you talking to?

- Mr. Jackson.

- Mr. Jackson?

- Of Jackson,
Sheldon, and Jackson.

- Uh, hello, Mr. Jackson?

Hello?

There's nobody on the line.

- Well, of course not.

I wasn't really
talking to Mr. Jackson.

I was just practicing.

- Don't do that to me.

You scared me to death.

What's the matter?
You got anything else to do?

- No, I did it all
last night, so there's

nothing to do this morning.

This is really an
easy job, you know.

If you ask me, Ms. Edwards
is stealing the money.

- Well, did you get the mail?

- The mail?

- Yeah, it's right over here.

The mailman delivers
it here every morning.

- Oh, well, he must have
brought it while you were out

and I was in
polishing your desk.

- Oh, honey, don't do
that kind of stuff.

The janitor will
take care of that.

- Oh, I can just
polish your desk.

I threw out all the old paper
clips and broken pencils

and papers.

- You didn't throw any
of them away, did you?

I mean, the papers.

- Well, of course not.

I put them in the file.

- Oh.

- Did I do something wrong?

- Well, no.

It's just that I spent
about an hour yesterday

afternoon getting
them out of the files.

- Well, that's your
fault for being so messy.

I can't understand it.

You're not that messy at home.

- Well, we're not at home.

Now, come on and help me
get this stuff back out

of the file.

And from now on, will you leave
the papers on my desk alone?

- Gee, you sure are bossy.

- Well, I'm the boss.

- And you're also my husband.

- Look, honey, you're
just going to have

to forget we're married.

- David.

- I mean while we're
down here at the office.

This is really unfair to you.

Why don't we just
hire a secretary

until Ms. Edwards gets back?

- Oh, no you don't.

If she can stand working
for a tyrant, so can I.

- Uh, would take
a letter, please?

- Yes, sir.

Ready.

- Uh, to Mrs. June Nelson.

I love you.

- Oh, David.

What's the matter?

- I was sure somebody
was going to walk in.

- Oh, by the way, I was
supposed to remind you,

it's marked very important.

Judge Willoughby is expecting
you at his office at--

Oh, dear.

Maybe you'd better
kiss me again.

[music playing]

It sure was nice of you to have
us over for dinner again, Mom.

- Well, I thought it might
help out a little bit.

- Oh, it sure did.

- I think she's getting a
little tired of my cooking.

- Oh, I wouldn't say that.

I thought those steaks
you cooked last night

were burnt to a T.

- Thanks a lot.

- June says they got a
card from Connie today.

You know, Dave's secretary?

- Oh, well, good.

How's the skiing?

- Oh, she said it'd be
great if they had some snow.

- Well, at least you
won't break a leg.

[chuckles]

- Oh, well, now there's
a happy thought.

- Oh, I'd offer to help you with
those, Mom, but I'm so full,

I can't get off this sofa.

- No, you stay right there.

- I'll give you a hand.

- How are things going
down at the office?

- Well, I'd hate to
let Dave know it,

but I think I made
a big mistake.

- Oh, that's a shame.

- Yeah, I wish I knew
some way to get out of it.

- Uh, you mean and
still save face?

[laughter]

Well, I'd offer to
help you, but I'm

afraid my typing
is a little rusty.

- Oh, that's OK, Dad.

I think you'd look kind of silly
sitting on David's lap anyway.

- [laughs]

- She's really trying
hard, but it just

isn't working out at all.

- Oh, that's a shame.

- Yeah, I wish I
could figure out

some way of letting her go
without hurting her feelings.

- Hey, there isn't any chance
of your secretary coming back

a little bit early, is there?

- Well, she's supposed to
be on a two-week vacation.

- Oh, of course you could always
make it up to her later on.

- Yeah, and she can't be
having much fun skiing

if there's no snow.

- Do you know where
she's staying?

- Uh, yeah, but there's
no phone up there.

- I'll stand guard while
you send the telegram.

[music playing]

- [WHISPERING] Hey,
Mom, listen to this.

- That's Snow Crest Lodge?

- That's right.

Miss Connie Edwards.

A straight telegraph, please.

- And what is the message?

- The message is just "help!",
H-E-L-P with an exclamation

point.

- [chuckles]

- You're allowed 10 words.

- Oh.

Well, let's see.

- Uh, how about "help,
help, help, help help,

help, help, help, help, help"?

- David, is that you?

- Yeah.

- You mean you were listening?

- Well, I didn't intend to.

I picked up the phone to
send Connie a wire, too.

- You mean you asked
her to come back?

- Yeah.

I hope you don't mind,
honey, but I want you

for my wife, not my secretary.

I love you.

- Oh, David, I love you, too.

- "Love you, too."

That comes to 55 words, sir.

Wouldn't you rather make
that a night letter?

- No, uh, cancel
all that last part.

I mean, I admit that
last part, honey.

That is, I didn't
mean you, Operator.

I was talking to my wife.

- Worked out very
nicely, didn't it?

[chuckles]

[theme music]

- Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you
by your gas company--

- Which helps you live
modern for less with gas.

- That's what we Nelsons do.

[mid-tempo music]