All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S11E03.The.Apartment.1080p.WEB-DL.AMZN.H.264.DDP.2.0_track3_[eng]

[music playing]

- "The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie, here's Harriet,
here's David, and here's Ricky.

Here they are, America's
favorite family, the Nelsons.

[music playing]

- Oh.
Hi, Jack.

- Hi, fellas.

- Have you seen
Paula and Ginger?

We're supposed to
meet them here.

- No.

I haven't seen them today,
but there's another friend

of yours over there.
- Oh, yeah.

- Well, if it isn't
my favorite attorney.

- Oh.
Hi, Wally, Rick.

- Hi, Dave.

What are you doing out of
court this time of day?

- He probably lost
his case early.

[laughs]

- I just got off a little early
because June's leaving tonight.

- Leaving?
Where's she going?

- Well, we're going up to the
mountains with the Jacksons.

The girls are going up tonight,
and Tom and I are joining him

up there this weekend.
- Oh.

You mean you're going to be
all alone in that apartment

for a couple of days?

- June says I better be.

- Hey.

Why don't we all come over
and play a little poker?

- Well, yeah.

I guess that'd be OK.
Let's see.

I have to work tomorrow night.
How about Thursday?

- Hey, that's great.
I'll get all the guys together.

How about you, Rick?
- Yeah.

Thursday's fine with me.

This'll be the first time
you and June have been away

from each other, won't it?
- Yeah.

I guess it will at that.

- Are you going to miss her,
Dave, old boy, old bridegroom?

- Well, I'm not exactly
a bridegroom anymore.

Besides, I'll be seeing
her this weekend.

Excuse me.

Jack, I think I'll
take this one.

- OK, Dave.

[music playing]

- "I miss you."

- "I miss you"?

She hasn't even gone yet.

- Well, bless your heart, David.

I didn't know you
were so sentimental.

That's very touching.

- OK, you guys.

You'll be married yourselves
one of these days.

- [laughs] Don't go away mad.

- See you Thursday night, Dave.

- Say, was that for dinner?

- That was for after dinner.

- How about dessert?
- Hey, yeah.

That's a wonderful idea.

You bring the ice
cream and cake.

- Dave?
Wait a minute.

Dave?

- I'll see you Thursday night.

- You know, somehow
that didn't work out

quite the way I planned it.

- You can't win 'em all.

Come on.

Let's sit down.

- Hey, Charlie.

You want to play poker
with us Thursday night?

- Yeah.
Sounds good.

- OK.

We'll meet you at Dave's
apartment about 8 o'clock.

- Great.
It's a deal.

- Uh, Charlie?

You're supposed to bring
the ice cream and cake.

- I can't hear you.

- Charlie?

- Wait a minute.
I just thought of something.

- What's that?

- We can't play
poker Thursday night.

We promised we'd take
the girls to the movies.

- We did?
Yeah.

Come to think of
it, I guess we did.

- Well, maybe we can take
them Friday night instead.

- Yeah, that's an idea, and
if we can talk them into it.

- Talk who into what?

- Oh, here are these
two beautiful girls

we've been waiting for.

- We're the ones they're
going to talk into something.

- Who else?
OK.

What's the big deal?

- Oh, it's no big deal.

It's just that--
well, something's

come up for Thursday
night, and we

wondered if we could take you
to the movies on Friday night

instead?
- Oh, gee.

The picture closes Thursday.

- What about tomorrow night?

- Well, we've got
a sorority meeting.

Why can't you make it Thursday?

- Well, we could if you want
us to give up a very important

roundtable discussion.

- Oh, hiya, Fred.
- Hi.

Well, pardon me
for interrupting,

but I was just
talking to Charlie.

I'll see you guys at the
poker game Thursday night, OK?

- Poker game?!

- I was just going to
tell you about that.

- So was I. That's just
what I was leading up to.

- Look, before this thing
gets out of control,

let me tell you what happened.

Dave said it was OK if
we came over to his place

to play poker Thursday night.

And then after he
left, we remembered

we had a date with you girls.

- Well, you're certainly
under no obligation

to take us to the movies
if you'd rather play poker.

- Certainly not.

- Well, it's not that
we'd rather play poker.

- Then how come you
forgot about our date?

- Well, we didn't forget.

It just slipped our minds.

- Look, the poker game
isn't that important.

We can call it off.

- Oh, why should you do that?

Go ahead and play poker.

We can go to the
movies some other time.

- Are you sure you don't mind?

- Well, I suggested
it, didn't I?

- You sure it's OK
with you, honey?

- Of course it is.

Go ahead and play
if you want to.

- OK, we will.

- Yeah.

It's fine with me.

- Uh, honey?

- Yes?

- As long as we're not
going to go to the movies,

could you lend me some
money for the poker game?

[music playing]

The ridiculous part
about the whole thing

is I'd actually rather
go to the movies.

I never liked poker much anyway.

- Why don't you phone the
girls and explain it to them?

- I'm afraid it's too
late for that now.

We tried to explain it
to them at the mall shop,

but they didn't seem
to want to understand.

- Well, that's
the way women are.

They like to twist
things around.

You tell 'em one
thing, and they make

believe you said something
entirely different.

- And what do you mean by that?

- See what I mean?

- Oh, never mind.

- Hi, everybody.
- Oh.

Hi, Dave.
- Hi, David.

- Would you like some pie?
- Uh, yeah.

Thanks, Mom.
Oh, that's OK.

I can get it.

- Well, June and
Betty get off OK?

- Yep.

We just put them on the train.

- When are you going up, Dave?

- Uh, Friday, I guess.

- Going to be a bachelor
for a few days, huh?

- Yeah.
Back to doing my own laundry.

- Is that a hint?

- No, I was just kidding.
I can take care of it.

- Well, if you have
anything that needs washing,

bring it over.
- Oh, no thanks, Mom.

That's OK.

- Why don't you have
your meals over here?

- That's all right, Mom.

It's only going to be
for a couple of days.

- Oh.

I just want to let you
know you're always welcome.

- Oh.

I know that.

- I'll tell you what, I'll
wrap up the rest of the pie,

and you can take that home.

- OK, Mom.

- Uh, Dave?
- Oh, please, Pop.

Nothing else.

The pie is plenty.

- Well, yeah, I know.

That's what I mean.

Don't take it all.

Save a piece for
your old man, huh?

[music playing]

- Here you are, dear.
- What's this?

- Well, that's the
rest of the pie.

And this is a meatloaf
with carrots and peas

that were left over.

All you have to do
is warm them up.

- OK, Mom.
You win.

- Oh, Dave, and be sure
and phone your mother

when you get home so she'll
know you arrived safely.

- Never mind.

- Good night.

- Good night, dear.

- Hi.

- Oh.

Hi, Joe and Clara.
- Hi.

How are you?

- Well, David, how did
you sneak out tonight?

I tried to get out
without Clara and didn't

get past the back door.

- Darn right, you didn't.

- What'd you do with June?

- Oh, I shipped her out of town.

- Say...

- Oh, no, you don't.

- I've been trying to figure
out a deal like that for over 20

years.
How'd you do it?

- Don't tell him, David.

- June just went
up to the mountains

to visit some friends.

David's going to join
it for the weekend.

- Oh.

So you're bachin' for the
rest of the week, huh, Dave?

- Yes, sir.

Well, I guess I
better get going.

- Oh, sure.

No use wasting those
precious hours around here.

- Dave?

Are you sure you
have everything now?

- Uh, yeah.
Thanks, Mom.

She really got me
loaded down here.

- Would you like to come
over to our house for dinner

one night, David?
- Oh.

No thanks.

It's only going to be
for a couple of days.

Thanks just the same, though.

Well, good night, everybody.
- Bye.

- Good night.

- Good night, dear.

- He's such a nice boy.

- Yeah, he is pretty nice.

- Well, let's go
and sit down, Joe.

- You know, come to
think of it, there's

no reason why David couldn't
have stayed right here.

- Harriet, he can
take care of himself.

In fact, I'm sure he'd
rather be by himself.

- Of course.

- But it'll be so lonesome
over at that apartment.

Who is he going to talk to?

- Nobody.

That's the beauty
of the whole thing.

- What do you mean by that?

- I just mean that it does
a guy good to get away

from his wife for a few days.

- After that, I think we'd
better get out of here.

- You can say that again.

[music playing]

- We win.

- Well, you don't have
to gloat about it.

- I'm not gloating.

I'm just telling you who won.
- OK.

You win.

Where is it you want to go?

- What do you mean "want to go"?

- Well, you said you
wanted to get away

from me for a few days.

- Clara, what are you
bringing that up for?

I said it over an hour ago.

- Then you admit it.

- I admit nothing.

In the first place,
all I said was

that a man might like to
get away from his wife once

in a while.

- Do you think that's true?

- Not necessarily.

It all depends on
the circumstances.

- What depends on
the circumstances?

- What did you do?

Run all the way in
from the kitchen?

- I just asked a
simple question.

- Oh, we were just discussing
whether a man likes to get away

from his wife once in a while.

- You still talking about that?

- Yeah, how about that?

- It's your deal, Joe.

- Maybe you guys would
rather play solitaire.

- Oh, cut it out,
will you, Clara?

Here, cut the cards.

- Look, if you
fellows really would

like to get away for
a couple of days,

this would be a
good time for it.

- We weren't talking personally.

It was just a
general discussion.

- No, I mean it.

We've got a women's
club meeting tomorrow,

and I wanted to go
shopping on Thursday.

- Harriet, I don't
want to go anyplace,

and I'm sure Joe doesn't either.

- Of course, I don't.

- You're just saying that.

Where would you like to go?

- I told you, no place.

- Well, I think it
might be a good idea.

Excuse me.
The coffee's about ready.

- Oh, I'll help you, Harriet.

[music playing]

- What happened?

- Who knows?

Evidently, we're
going someplace.

- Do you want to?
- No.

Of course not.

- It would serve them right
if we call their bluff

and decided to go someplace.

- Don't tempt me.

- Could you get off
for a couple of days?

- Well, sure.
I guess so.

- Say, I'll tell
you a funny idea.

We could get a
hotel room downtown

and just go to work every day.

Make believe we'd
gone someplace.

- Hey, yeah.

Or we could stay at
Dave's apartment.

I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

- Hey, yeah.

That's the best idea yet.

- Of course, it's probably
pretty ridiculous.

- No, it isn't.

Look, if they're forcing
a couple of days on us,

let's take them.

Might be very relaxing.

- Well, do you think we
could get away with it?

- Sure.
- OK.

Then, let's do it.
- Great.

Come on.

Let's go tell the girls.

- Uh, now, wait a second.

Just what do we tell them?

- Just tell them we've decided
to take up their offer.

- Hey, hey, hey, wait.

No, I guess we couldn't do that.

- What's that?

- Well, I was wondering if
we could take the days off

and not tell them?

No, no, no.

I guess we'd better tell them.

[music playing]

- Is that all you
want for breakfast?

- Yes, it's fine.

We'll probably stop
along the road someplace

and get something to eat.

Here comes Joe.

- Hi.

- Hi, Joe, Clara.
- Hi.

Hi, Harriet.
- Hello, Clara.

- What are you
coming in here for?

- Well, I didn't know.
Whose car are we going to take?

- Well, we might
as well take mine.

It's right out in the driveway.

Well, I'll give
you a hand, here.

- Do you know where
they're going?

Joe won't tell me.

- I have no idea.

- Well, don't worry about it.

We'll call you and let you
know as soon as we get there.

- Goodbye, dear.
- Bye.

- Bye.

Don't forget your
water skis, Joe.

- I got 'em.

- Water skis?

Ozzie's taking his golf
clubs and his bowling ball.

- What about Joe and his bongos?

If he's going to play those
bongos while he's water skiing,

I sure would like to see it.

- Hurry up, Oz.
I've got to get to work.

- Yeah.

Well, I'll drop you off,
and I'll meet you back

at Dave's apartment
at 6 o'clock.

[music playing]

- What's the idea of bringing
the bongo drums along?

- I just thought it might
confuse them a little.

- It was a stroke of genius to
bring all this stuff with us.

- Yeah.

- It's also going to be
a big nuisance lugging it

around every place we go.

- We don't have
to lug it around.

We can leave it
locked up in the car.

- Yeah.

You know, come to think
of it, this whole idea

is pretty ridiculous.

- Yeah, but we
can't back out now.

- Oh, that's for sure.

We'd never hear the end of it.

- Here's the rest
of your stuff, Pop.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

- Uh, Pop, just
between you and me,

where the heck are you going?

- Well, can you keep a secret?

- Well, yeah.

- We're going to
Dave's apartment.

- Dave's apartment?
- Shh.

Not so loud.

I don't want your mother or
Mrs. Randolph to hear us.

- Well, I don't get it.
- Come on, Oz.

Let's get going.

- Oh, uh, thanks a lot, Rick.

[music playing]

- Hi, Pop.
- Oh.

Hi, Dave.
- Hi, Dave.

- Come on in.

- Sorry I really
didn't get much chance

to explain this
to you last night.

- Oh, that's OK.

Rick phoned me a
little while ago,

and he couldn't
explain it either.

- Well, it's really
not that complicated.

- Oh, please don't tell me.

As a lawyer, I'd rather
not be an accessory.

- Now, why did he
have to say that?

- Besides, I have to hurry.

- Where are you going?

- Up to see June.

- Oh, I thought you weren't
going up till the weekend.

- Well, I did a little
fast-talking at the office

and got a couple
of extra days off.

- Oh.
Good for you.

- And one night here alone
was more than enough.

Just got too lonesome
without June.

Well, I've got a long
drive ahead of me.

Make yourselves at home.
- Thanks, Dave.

Have a nice trip.
- Thanks.

Oh, and don't worry
about the television set.

I'll get it fixed
when I get back.

- OK.

- Hey, why don't
I check the paper

and see who's fighting
at the stadium tonight?

- Yeah.
That's an idea.

- Doggone it.

The fights aren't on
'til tomorrow night.

- Well, do you see
anything else in there

that looks interesting?

- Yeah.

Here's someplace we could go.

And look who the
headliner is, too.

- Forget it.

- Yeah.

Well, it's kind of
fun to think about it.

I suppose we could go bowling.

- Oh, gee, I don't know.

Somebody's liable to
see us down there.

- Yeah.
I guess you're right.

I could always go down to the
car and get my bongo drums.

Just a thought.

What are we having for dinner?

- Well, very little from
what I can see here.

- What kind of a
vacation spot is this?

- There's a cucumber
and some stuffed olives.

- Where's all the food?

- Well, they're going
to be away for a week.

They probably cleaned
out the refrigerator.

- Oh, that's a fine thing.

- Relax, will you?

Must be something around here.

Maybe they got some
peanut butter and jelly up

in one of these cupboards.

- Look, Oz.

I have no intention of
eating peanut butter

and jelly for dinner.

I can get that at home.

In fact, it might
not be a bad idea.

- What do you mean?

- Don't you think
we've been away

long enough to prove our point?

- No, but why don't we
phone the girls anyway?

Who knows, they may plead
with us to come back.

- Yeah.

And if they don't, let's give
up and invite them to dinner.

I'm hungry.

- That's the best idea yet.

[phone ringing]

- Clara's not home.

- She's probably
over at our house.

- Oh, yeah.
I'll try there.

- Let's not give in right away.

Let's tease 'em a little.

A man answered.

- It's Rick.

Hello, Rick.

Is your mother there?
- Oh, no.

She isn't.
She went out with Mrs. Randolph.

- Oh.

Do you know where they went?

Oh well, never mind.

Don't say anything to them.

We'll get in touch
with him later.

- Where did they go?
- I don't know.

They went out.

- Well, that's a fine thing.

We told them we
were going to call.

- Well, they probably
went to the market.

We'll call them again
in a little while.

[phone ringing]

That's great.

Now there's nobody home.

- Fine thing.

- Yeah.

I guess he went out to dinner.
- That reminds me.

I'm hungry.
- Yeah.

Me, too.

Look, there's a little hot
dog stand down the corner.

Shall I get some hot dogs?

- I guess it's
better than nothing.

- Let me get my coat.

- Uh, Joe?

- Yeah.

That's right.

I keep forgetting.

[music playing]

- I got spades and big casino.

- OK.

What time is it?

- Almost 10:30.

- 10:30?

We'll give 'em just
one more chance.

[music playing]

No answer.

How about that?

- It would serve him right
if we didn't go home.

- You're darn right.

It's your deal.

- I don't feel like
playing anymore.

Do you?

- I didn't want to play
in the first place.

- Wonder where the girls are?

- Will you forget the girls, Oz?

We're here to have a good time.

[music playing]

[playing bongos]

What are you reading, Oz?

- "Encyclopedia of
Law and Procedure."

It's pretty dull.

He's got nothing but
law books around here.

[playing bongos]

- Uh, look.

I don't want you to think
I'm not a music lover,

but don't you think
it's a little bit

late to be playing those?

I mean, we might
disturb somebody.

- Yeah.
I guess maybe you're right.

I have to get up early
in the morning anyway.

I'll, uh-- I'll flip you
to see who gets the bed.

- OK.

Heads.

- Tails.

Stay right where you are, Oz.

Pleasant dreams.

- I understand they're having
a sale at the emporium, too.

- Oh, good.

Say, would you mind if we
stop by Dave and June's?

- Oh, of course not.

I've got a little
casserole here for Dave.

I thought I'd drop it
off and surprise him.

- OK.

You know, I still can't figure
out where those guys went.

- Well, wherever
they are, I hope

they're having a good time.
- You do?

- Well, not too good.

[music playing]

- Anybody home?

- Oh, he's probably
at the office by now.

- Wow.

- Yeah.

I'm afraid Dave isn't a
very good housekeeper.

- Maybe some of his
fraternity brothers

were keeping him company.

Here's some bongos.

Harriet!

These look like Joe's bongos.

Sure.

Look at these grass stains.

That happened when I threw
them out the window once.

- Here's Oz's suitcase.

How about those guys?

They've been staying here.

They didn't plan to go anyplace.

They just wanted to win a point.

- I think you're right.

- Sure, I am.

They're probably
at work right now.

Do you think we ought
to phone 'em and let

them know we've
discovered their hideout?

- I think we ought to let
them suffer another night.

- Do you think
they're suffering?

- Well, I know Ozzie is if
Joe's been playing these bongos.

- Well, maybe we better
let them off the hook.

- I guess you're right.

But at least we ought to
get something out of this.

Harriet, I got an idea.

[music playing]

- Gee.

With Dave gone, it isn't going
to be much of a poker game.

Only four players.

- There's nothing
much else we can do.

- And I got stuck for
all this ice cream.

[music playing]

- Look at this.

"OK, you guys.

We admit we put you on the spot.

If you feel like changing
your plans for tonight, how

about meeting us for dinner
at the Cottage Inn at 8:30."

How about that?
Signed, "The girls."

- Hey.

It sounds like they
kind of miss us.

- Yeah.

Should we give them a
break and meet them?

- Oh, we might as well.

[laughs] Say, how'd
they get in here

to leave this note on the table?
- I don't know.

Maybe the landlady let them in.

Anyway, who cares?
Come on.

Let's go.

- Well, that's OK with me,
but what about the other guys?

- Oh, they won't mind
if we call off the game.

This is an emergency.

- Well, what about
the ice cream?

- Ice cream?

We'll take that.

- Hi, boys.

- Hey, if you gentlemen
came for the poker game,

it's been called off.

- We don't know anything
about any poker game.

- What poker game?
- Guess what, Pop?

The girls left us and note.

They want us to meet them at
the Cottage Inn for dinner.

- Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised
if they picked up the check.

[laughs]

- Sounds like you guys
won out for a change.

- You lucky bums.

- Well, we got to get going.

- Uh, how about the ice cream?

- Oh, sure.
Here you are Mr. Nelson.

- Thank you.

- And that'll be $1.58.

- Wally.

- Oh, that's OK, Mr. Nelson.
Your credit's good.

- Oh.
Well, thank you.

- Have a good time, boys.

- Bye.

- Eh.

Well, here we are again.
- Yeah.

Now what?

- Well, my suggestion would
be let's pack up and go home.

- Right.

Plus, they'll never
know where we were.

- Yeah.

And we got the ice cream
for a peace offering

in case they're still mad.

- Hey, when did you
clean up the apartment?

- Oh, come on, now.

You know me better than that.

- Well, somebody did.

[phone ringing]

- I'll get that.

Hello?

- Rick?

- No, this is his father.
- Oh.

Hi, Mr. Nelson.

This is Paula.

Are Rick and Wally there?

- No, they aren't.

- Well, gee, we wanted
to talk to them.

- Oh.
Well, don't worry.

They're on their way down
to meet you right now.

- They are?
- Yeah.

At the Cottage Inn.
They got your note.

- What note?

We didn't write them a note.

- Oh!

Well, I don't know.

Maybe I had it a
little confused.

- Well, thanks
anyway, Mr. Nelson.

Goodbye.

How about that?

- Well, what?

- They're meeting a couple
of girls at the Cottage Inn.

- Why, those crumbs.

I'll bet they never intended to
play poker in the first place.

- Yeah, and we were
phoning to apologize.

- Well, I'm never going to
speak to that Wally again.

Well, maybe just once more.

Come on.

[music playing]

- You don't suppose they
went bowling right after work

and didn't see the note?

- I hope not.

[music playing]

- Hey!

There's your mother.

- Oh, yeah.

- Hi, Mrs. Nelson.

Hi, Mrs. Randolph.
- Well, hi.

- Say, have you seen
Ginger and Paula?

We were supposed
to meet 'em here.

- No, we haven't.
- Gee, that's funny.

They left us this note.

- Oh.

Well, this may come as
a shock to you guys,

but you are looking
at your dates.

- What?

- I wrote that.

- Why, Mrs. Randolph!

[laughs]

- What's going on anyway?

- Well, we left this note for
your father and Mr. Randolph.

- Oh, gee, I'm sorry.

We must have beat them to it.

They're probably still
in the apartment.

Why don't you give them a call?

- What do you think?

- We might as well.

Wait 'til they hear that a
couple of handsome college boys

tried to pick us up.

- We'll wait here
till you get back.

- All right.

- Hey, as long as
we're here, why

don't we have something to eat?

Maybe your mother will
pick up the check.

[laughs] OK.

OK.

- Well, here you are!

Oh, hiya, Ginger, honey.

- Don't you Ginger,
honey, me, you two-timer.

- What's the matter?

Did your girlfriend
stand you up?

- It serves you right.

- What are you talking about?

- We phoned the apartment
and heard about those girls

who left you the note.
- Yeah.

- But, Ginger, honey.

- Sit down.

- This may come as
quite a surprise,

but the so-called dates were
my mother and Mrs. Randolph.

- That's right.

- Oh, come on, now.

You guys can do
better than that.

- Look who we found,
our regular dates.

- Oh, Wally, honey.

I'm sorry.

- Sit down.

- Yes, sir.

- I wish somebody
would explain this.

I'm not sure whether
to be mad or not.

- Well, see, after we
talked to you on the phone,

we realized that the note
must have been for us.

- Especially after we found the
casserole in the refrigerator.

- Well, I guess
that settles that.

- Well, as long as
we're all here together,

why don't we have dinner?
- Wonderful.

- That's a good idea.

- Well, uh, I'm not sure.

See, as we were leaving the
apartment, a couple of guys

showed up looking
for the poker game.

It may not be too late, if
you fellows think we ought

to go up there and join them.

[music playing]

I'm only kidding, dear.

No, no.
Honest.

- Sit down.

[music playing]

- Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you by the
American Dairy Association,

representing the dairy
farmers in your area.

- Be sure to keep an extra
supply of milk on hand

for the weekend.

[music playing]

- If you're responsible
for a payroll,

if you have people under you
in your place of business,

one of the questions you're
interested in is safety--

safety for employees.

Well, listen to this.

The safety record of
physically handicapped workers

has been much better than
that of the able-bodied.

Take just one example.

An airline which uses
the handicapped in ground

operations reports,
"In the last 10 years,

we've not paid out one nickel
in workman's compensation claims

because a physically
handicapped employee was

injured on the job."

The handicapped have much
better safety records

than the able-bodied.

See for yourself, Mr. Employer.

Call the local Office of
the Department of Employment

and hire the handicapped.