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1
00:00:18,807 --> 00:00:21,107
♪ Bad ♪
2
00:00:21,107 --> 00:00:23,246
♪ Bad ♪
3
00:00:23,246 --> 00:00:25,609
♪ Bad ♪
4
00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:30,609
(slow rock music continues)
(audience cheers)
5
00:00:41,950 --> 00:00:44,783
(audience cheers)
6
00:00:47,549 --> 00:00:52,549
(slow bluesy music)
(flames crackling)
7
00:00:57,022 --> 00:00:59,479
(slow bluesy music continues)
8
00:00:59,479 --> 00:01:02,396
(flames crackling)
9
00:01:05,700 --> 00:01:09,533
(slow bluesy music continues)
10
00:01:11,523 --> 00:01:14,440
(flames crackling)
11
00:01:16,105 --> 00:01:19,938
(slow bluesy music continues)
12
00:01:30,957 --> 00:01:33,624
(traffic roars)
13
00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:42,779
(baby cries)
14
00:01:42,779 --> 00:01:44,820
- Jesus Christ.
15
00:01:44,820 --> 00:01:49,170
- Look at him, look
what it did to his face.
16
00:01:49,170 --> 00:01:50,070
- I thought you said Fab.
17
00:01:50,070 --> 00:01:53,250
- Snowy, I said Snowy.
18
00:01:53,250 --> 00:01:57,270
Fab, Snowy, Snowy, Fab, it
doesn't even sound the same.
19
00:01:57,270 --> 00:01:59,700
One comes in a red box, the
other one comes in a blue box.
20
00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:01,830
Now he's got a rash all over his ass.
21
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,660
- I said I'm sorry.
22
00:02:03,660 --> 00:02:07,890
- You can remember Mickey
Mantle's 1963 slugging percentage,
23
00:02:07,890 --> 00:02:08,910
you got it on the tip of your tongue,
24
00:02:08,910 --> 00:02:10,650
but you can't walk two blocks
without forgetting a list
25
00:02:10,650 --> 00:02:12,900
that reads butter, coma, Snowy.
26
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,880
Married fucking Rain Man.
27
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,580
It's like the paint, I tell
you the exact color to get.
28
00:02:17,580 --> 00:02:18,570
All you had to do was go down
29
00:02:18,570 --> 00:02:21,420
to the hardware store and pick it up.
30
00:02:21,420 --> 00:02:23,580
- Dad, can I watch "Reservoir Dogs"?
31
00:02:23,580 --> 00:02:24,413
- Sure, honey.
32
00:02:24,413 --> 00:02:26,147
- No!
33
00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:27,774
- [Lisa] Spic.
34
00:02:27,774 --> 00:02:30,286
- Did you hear what she just said?
35
00:02:30,286 --> 00:02:32,033
You are in big trouble.
36
00:02:32,033 --> 00:02:32,866
- [Lisa] No!
37
00:02:32,866 --> 00:02:34,398
- Do you hear me, young lady?
38
00:02:34,398 --> 00:02:35,424
(traffic roars)
39
00:02:35,424 --> 00:02:36,945
You know, yesterday they
called me from school
40
00:02:36,945 --> 00:02:38,580
to tell me she was going
around saying the C word
41
00:02:38,580 --> 00:02:41,600
to all the other kids. (faintly speaking)
42
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:45,060
(slow jazzy music continues)
43
00:02:45,060 --> 00:02:45,893
Jake?
44
00:02:46,980 --> 00:02:48,571
Jake.
45
00:02:48,571 --> 00:02:50,170
(baby coos)
46
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,660
Well, just gotta do it myself,
47
00:02:51,660 --> 00:02:53,303
like everything else around here.
48
00:02:54,453 --> 00:02:56,518
Yep, just talking to myself,
49
00:02:56,518 --> 00:02:57,840
talking to the walls, the mauve walls.
50
00:02:59,061 --> 00:03:02,061
(slow bluesy music)
51
00:03:10,345 --> 00:03:12,810
With mauve paint, I hate
mauve, but, you know,
52
00:03:12,810 --> 00:03:14,970
now at least the kitchen
matches the baby's ass,
53
00:03:14,970 --> 00:03:16,920
isn't that nice?
54
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:18,574
Life with Jake.
55
00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:22,407
(slow bluesy music continues)
56
00:03:26,948 --> 00:03:28,339
(furniture clatters)
57
00:03:28,339 --> 00:03:32,755
Lisa, Lisa, open up the door right now!
58
00:03:32,755 --> 00:03:33,588
Lisa!
59
00:03:34,564 --> 00:03:38,397
(slow bluesy music continues)
60
00:03:51,387 --> 00:03:52,537
- How you doing, Jimmy?
61
00:03:53,474 --> 00:03:54,420
You know how much that
prick makes an hour?
62
00:03:54,420 --> 00:03:55,253
- No.
63
00:03:55,253 --> 00:03:56,086
- 25 bucks.
- Jesus.
64
00:03:56,086 --> 00:03:56,940
- Do you believe that shit?
65
00:03:56,940 --> 00:03:58,260
- Oh my God.
66
00:03:58,260 --> 00:03:59,220
- What the hell is all this?
67
00:03:59,220 --> 00:04:00,320
- I don't know.
68
00:04:02,490 --> 00:04:04,320
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy
boy, what's all this?
69
00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:05,153
- Excuse me?
70
00:04:05,153 --> 00:04:06,510
- You're not just gonna leave
all this stuff down here
71
00:04:06,510 --> 00:04:07,890
in the middle of the floor, are you?
72
00:04:07,890 --> 00:04:08,747
- [Vice President] Yes, I am.
73
00:04:08,747 --> 00:04:11,280
- Oh, yeah, well, I can
almost personally guarantee
74
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:12,510
you're not because I'm head-
75
00:04:12,510 --> 00:04:14,010
- I'm senior vice
president of Acquisitions
76
00:04:14,010 --> 00:04:15,270
and I will leave my gear here
77
00:04:15,270 --> 00:04:17,913
and you will watch it
until I come back down.
78
00:04:19,230 --> 00:04:21,960
- Yes, sir.
(elevator dings)
79
00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,560
- Put your fucking hats back on.
80
00:04:30,150 --> 00:04:30,983
- Ass wipe.
81
00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:35,063
You ever skied?
82
00:04:35,063 --> 00:04:35,896
- Yeah, once.
83
00:04:35,896 --> 00:04:37,530
- Not me, I gotta get
down from snowy mountain,
84
00:04:37,530 --> 00:04:38,967
I'll take a fucking sled.
85
00:04:38,967 --> 00:04:40,590
- Well, a lot of nice looking broads
86
00:04:40,590 --> 00:04:42,090
go skiing, Christie Brinkley.
87
00:04:42,090 --> 00:04:43,480
- Christie Brinkley, she's
45 fucking years old.
88
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:44,880
- She's 42.
89
00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:45,713
- Big difference, Jake.
90
00:04:45,713 --> 00:04:47,887
- The point is, you get up there,
91
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:50,072
you get a nice fire going.
92
00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:51,330
(slow saxophone music)
93
00:04:51,330 --> 00:04:55,440
Snuggle up against the cold,
big bottle of champagne on ice,
94
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:59,820
and you got some fondue,
and the snow's falling-
95
00:04:59,820 --> 00:05:02,163
- Fondue, what the fuck is fondue?
96
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,150
- You know, would it kill you to wait
97
00:05:09,150 --> 00:05:11,700
until the coffee's stopped brewing?
98
00:05:11,700 --> 00:05:12,650
- Would it kill me?
99
00:05:14,490 --> 00:05:15,323
Possibly.
100
00:05:20,610 --> 00:05:22,020
- You know, every time you
blow smoke out the window,
101
00:05:22,020 --> 00:05:23,671
it just blows right back in.
102
00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:24,504
- I know.
103
00:05:25,595 --> 00:05:28,074
- Well, the kids, you know?
104
00:05:28,074 --> 00:05:31,624
- I know.
(television chatters)
105
00:05:31,624 --> 00:05:36,624
(dog barks)
(bus screeches)
106
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,957
(slow jazzy music)
107
00:06:09,239 --> 00:06:11,739
(siren wails)
108
00:06:13,753 --> 00:06:18,753
(traffic roars)
(group chattering)
109
00:06:24,637 --> 00:06:28,387
(slow jazzy music continues)
110
00:06:40,254 --> 00:06:41,915
(Mr. Potter screams)
111
00:06:41,915 --> 00:06:43,742
(horn honks)
(traffic roars)
112
00:06:43,742 --> 00:06:46,242
(Jake knocks)
113
00:06:47,963 --> 00:06:50,221
There's been an accident.
114
00:06:50,221 --> 00:06:51,750
(Sara gasps)
115
00:06:51,750 --> 00:06:52,653
I'm sorry, ma'am.
116
00:06:57,948 --> 00:07:00,865
(slow funky music)
117
00:07:04,093 --> 00:07:07,680
- You hear what I said?
118
00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:09,330
Just keep putting cream
on the baby's rash.
119
00:07:09,330 --> 00:07:11,400
The babysitter will be here
at three o'clock, right?
120
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:12,520
You think you can handle that?
121
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:13,959
- Okay.
122
00:07:13,959 --> 00:07:14,792
(door slams)
123
00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:17,125
(baby coos)
124
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:26,443
(slow funky music)
125
00:07:45,467 --> 00:07:46,746
Lisa!
126
00:07:46,746 --> 00:07:47,813
- [Lisa] What?
127
00:07:47,813 --> 00:07:48,871
- We're going to the park.
128
00:07:48,871 --> 00:07:50,475
- [Lisa] No, I don't
want to go to the park.
129
00:07:50,475 --> 00:07:53,432
You can go to the park, no!
130
00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:55,015
No, no, no, no, no!
131
00:07:55,999 --> 00:08:00,999
(slow bluesy music)
(group chattering)
132
00:08:15,401 --> 00:08:18,401
(children shouting)
133
00:08:30,584 --> 00:08:33,144
(Jake laughs)
134
00:08:33,144 --> 00:08:35,561
- He, he likes that, sort of.
135
00:08:41,766 --> 00:08:42,599
Okay, pal?
136
00:08:44,359 --> 00:08:46,770
(children shrieking)
137
00:08:46,770 --> 00:08:48,390
- [Sara] Is that your little girl?
138
00:08:48,390 --> 00:08:51,210
- Yep, Lisa, cut that out!
139
00:08:51,210 --> 00:08:52,140
Knock it off or I'll come over there
140
00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:56,149
and hit you on the side of the
goddamn head, Jesus Christ.
141
00:08:56,149 --> 00:08:57,540
(baby cries)
142
00:08:57,540 --> 00:08:58,373
Sorry, she's.
143
00:09:02,070 --> 00:09:05,435
(children shrieking)
144
00:09:05,435 --> 00:09:08,268
(slow bass music)
145
00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:18,357
- [Neil] That's one small step for man,
146
00:09:19,829 --> 00:09:23,846
(slow bass music continues)
147
00:09:23,846 --> 00:09:26,096
one giant leap for mankind.
148
00:09:27,158 --> 00:09:30,825
(slow bass music continues)
149
00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:37,773
- [Sara] Excuse me, I think
we live in the same building.
150
00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:40,050
- We do?
151
00:09:40,050 --> 00:09:42,030
- Yeah, I'm Sara Potter.
152
00:09:42,030 --> 00:09:42,900
- Nice to meet you.
153
00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:45,000
- [Sara] I met your wife
here last week, Brenda?
154
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:45,833
- Oh.
155
00:09:45,833 --> 00:09:46,680
- We were gonna get the girls together
156
00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:48,090
for a play date on Thursday.
157
00:09:48,090 --> 00:09:48,923
- She can't.
158
00:09:48,923 --> 00:09:49,980
- [Sara] Oh, well.
159
00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:52,140
- I'm watching the kids Thursday.
160
00:09:52,140 --> 00:09:54,273
- Would you like to bring them over?
161
00:09:55,710 --> 00:10:00,690
- Sure, sure, great.
(traffic roars)
162
00:10:00,690 --> 00:10:01,523
- [Eddie] What are you, nuts?
163
00:10:01,523 --> 00:10:02,356
- [Jake] What?
164
00:10:02,356 --> 00:10:03,210
- [Eddie] What if she's a psycho?
165
00:10:03,210 --> 00:10:04,530
- [Jake] She's not fucking psycho, Jesus.
166
00:10:04,530 --> 00:10:05,880
- [Eddie] Didn't you ever
see "Fatal Attraction"?
167
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:06,713
- [Jake] No.
168
00:10:06,713 --> 00:10:07,546
- [Eddie] "Basic Instinct"?
169
00:10:07,546 --> 00:10:08,379
- [Jake] No.
170
00:10:08,379 --> 00:10:09,660
- Jesus Christ, "Disclosure,"
171
00:10:09,660 --> 00:10:11,730
the whole Michael Douglas fucking trilogy?
172
00:10:11,730 --> 00:10:13,500
Fuck, the guy devoted to his life
173
00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,870
to warning other guys not to
fuck around on their wife.
174
00:10:15,870 --> 00:10:16,703
Shit, he even had to go
175
00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:18,510
to Sexaholics Anonymous in real life.
176
00:10:18,510 --> 00:10:20,550
Jesus Christ, read the papers, will you?
177
00:10:20,550 --> 00:10:22,020
Every day they got a goddamn story
178
00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:23,880
about some guy who goes into the park,
179
00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:25,620
meets some broad, goes back to her place,
180
00:10:25,620 --> 00:10:26,940
and she fucking stabs him.
181
00:10:26,940 --> 00:10:28,350
- I'm not going over there
to have sex with her,
182
00:10:28,350 --> 00:10:29,183
okay, Eddie, Jesus Christ.
183
00:10:29,183 --> 00:10:31,110
It's a fucking play
date, for Christ's sake.
184
00:10:31,110 --> 00:10:33,210
- Bullshit, Jake, the only
reason why a guy goes over
185
00:10:33,210 --> 00:10:34,620
to some strange girl's apartment is
186
00:10:34,620 --> 00:10:36,390
because he's thinking about fucking her.
187
00:10:36,390 --> 00:10:38,310
We're animals, all we think about is sex.
188
00:10:38,310 --> 00:10:39,900
Ask me what I'm thinking about right now.
189
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:40,733
- What?
190
00:10:40,733 --> 00:10:41,566
- Pussy.
191
00:10:41,566 --> 00:10:42,480
- Get the fuck out of here.
192
00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:44,557
- [Eddie] Swear to God, look behind you.
193
00:10:49,927 --> 00:10:50,807
- You're shitting me.
194
00:10:50,807 --> 00:10:52,080
- I swear to God.
195
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,690
You know them catalogs women
get, Victoria's Secret?
196
00:10:54,690 --> 00:10:55,523
- [Jake] Yeah.
197
00:10:55,523 --> 00:10:56,522
- You ever flip through them
198
00:10:56,522 --> 00:10:58,530
and think how sexy the girls
look in their lingerie,
199
00:10:58,530 --> 00:11:01,050
or the women in the Sunday
"New York Times" underwear ads?
200
00:11:01,050 --> 00:11:03,060
It's better than "Playboy," I mean,
201
00:11:03,060 --> 00:11:05,760
I like "Playboy," but this stuff,
202
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:08,520
I don't know, sometimes I
look at a painting like this
203
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:10,500
and I just get rock
fucking hard, you know?
204
00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:11,620
- [Jake] Yeah?
205
00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:14,310
- Yeah, (laughs) we're
visual fucking retards, Jake.
206
00:11:14,310 --> 00:11:17,340
Women, they like romance,
flowers, knights in shining armor.
207
00:11:17,340 --> 00:11:22,050
Us, we like tits, big tits,
small tits, anybody's tits.
208
00:11:22,050 --> 00:11:23,370
You're looking out the
window getting a hard on
209
00:11:23,370 --> 00:11:25,576
over some good looking chick is a given.
210
00:11:25,576 --> 00:11:26,409
It's not because you
211
00:11:26,409 --> 00:11:27,750
and your wife ain't
getting along this week,
212
00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:29,370
because you're a fucking guy.
213
00:11:29,370 --> 00:11:30,780
You and your wife could
be in seventh heaven.
214
00:11:30,780 --> 00:11:32,820
You'd make love to her, she'd fall asleep,
215
00:11:32,820 --> 00:11:35,370
and you'd still be staring
out the window getting hard.
216
00:11:35,370 --> 00:11:38,283
Besides, this broad is
fucking married with kids.
217
00:11:39,150 --> 00:11:39,983
- So?
218
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:42,780
- So I don't get it, why not look
219
00:11:42,780 --> 00:11:44,610
in some single young chick's window?
220
00:11:44,610 --> 00:11:47,970
- Because she's different,
she's there, she's, you know,
221
00:11:47,970 --> 00:11:50,370
she's like a real, like,
you know, classy broad.
222
00:11:52,260 --> 00:11:54,222
- [Eddie] Pool of blood.
223
00:11:54,222 --> 00:11:55,740
- Huh?
224
00:11:55,740 --> 00:11:56,610
- Her husband's gonna come home,
225
00:11:56,610 --> 00:11:58,213
discover the two of you in bed,
226
00:11:58,213 --> 00:11:59,335
he's gonna shoot you in the neck
227
00:11:59,335 --> 00:12:01,766
and the cops are gonna find
you in a pool of blood.
228
00:12:01,766 --> 00:12:03,619
Do me a favor, rent that
fucking Michael Douglas film,
229
00:12:03,619 --> 00:12:05,189
will you, come on.
230
00:12:05,189 --> 00:12:08,189
(slow bluesy music)
231
00:12:37,489 --> 00:12:40,150
(vase shatters)
232
00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:42,567
(baby wails)
233
00:12:44,148 --> 00:12:48,215
(slow bluesy music continues)
234
00:12:48,215 --> 00:12:50,798
(door rattles)
235
00:13:03,417 --> 00:13:05,986
(Mr. Potter cries out)
236
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:09,106
- [Mr. Potter] Son of a bitch.
237
00:13:09,106 --> 00:13:12,023
(slow funky music)
238
00:13:15,066 --> 00:13:15,899
- Come on.
239
00:13:17,336 --> 00:13:18,169
- Honey?
240
00:13:19,620 --> 00:13:21,690
Why don't we get a sitter on Friday night,
241
00:13:21,690 --> 00:13:24,642
maybe go to a movie or something?
242
00:13:24,642 --> 00:13:25,475
- Okay.
243
00:13:25,475 --> 00:13:26,308
- Hmm?
244
00:13:26,308 --> 00:13:27,141
- Yeah.
245
00:13:27,141 --> 00:13:28,800
- Okay.
246
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,270
- [Eddie] Look, the kid's your cover.
247
00:13:30,270 --> 00:13:32,640
The husband comes home, you
act like it's just a play date.
248
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:33,600
- [Jake] It is just a play date.
249
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,820
- [Eddie] Yeah, right,
bring a nice bottle of wine,
250
00:13:35,820 --> 00:13:38,700
a little icebreaker, but
don't let your guard down.
251
00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:41,343
- [Jake] I don't know,
it's just, you know?
252
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,264
- What an ass on this piece.
253
00:13:46,264 --> 00:13:47,880
(door knocks)
254
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,273
- [Lisa] Hi, honey, I'm home, hi, dear.
255
00:13:52,460 --> 00:13:55,650
- Do you want some coffee or wine?
256
00:13:55,650 --> 00:13:56,883
- No, no, coffee's good.
257
00:14:00,749 --> 00:14:02,100
(slow bluesy music)
258
00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:03,270
- [Sara] Cream and sugar?
259
00:14:03,270 --> 00:14:04,773
- Yeah, both, thanks.
260
00:14:10,230 --> 00:14:12,180
- [Sara] Where's the baby?
261
00:14:12,180 --> 00:14:13,330
- He's at the sitter's.
262
00:14:17,130 --> 00:14:18,930
- [Sara] Mine's an angel,
263
00:14:18,930 --> 00:14:21,870
sleeps through the night,
naps all afternoon.
264
00:14:21,870 --> 00:14:22,703
- Yeah?
265
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:28,193
Yeah.
266
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:33,453
That's great.
267
00:14:35,550 --> 00:14:38,913
Ours is still waking up a
couple of times a night.
268
00:14:44,820 --> 00:14:46,350
- [Sara] That's hard.
269
00:14:46,350 --> 00:14:47,183
- Yeah.
270
00:14:49,380 --> 00:14:52,830
Boy, this place looks
great, I'll tell you.
271
00:14:52,830 --> 00:14:55,380
Before you guys moved in,
it was a real shit hole.
272
00:14:55,380 --> 00:14:56,850
- [Sara] What'd you say?
273
00:14:56,850 --> 00:15:00,933
- Nothing, I said the
place looks terrific,
274
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:04,083
looks great.
275
00:15:14,010 --> 00:15:15,633
So what does your husband do?
276
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:18,570
- [Sara] My ex-husband.
277
00:15:18,570 --> 00:15:19,770
- [Jake] Oh.
278
00:15:19,770 --> 00:15:21,820
- We're separated, on good terms, though.
279
00:15:24,450 --> 00:15:25,283
Here you go.
280
00:15:25,283 --> 00:15:26,290
- [Jake] Great, thanks.
281
00:15:27,780 --> 00:15:28,613
- Sit down.
282
00:15:28,613 --> 00:15:29,760
- Okay.
283
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:33,270
- It's hard, you know, you meet someone,
284
00:15:33,270 --> 00:15:36,390
you think that's what you
want, and then suddenly,
285
00:15:36,390 --> 00:15:40,170
someone else comes along
and your life just changes.
286
00:15:40,170 --> 00:15:41,003
- Yep.
287
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:44,880
- You try and plan your
life out neat and clean,
288
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:48,630
but I don't know, life
just doesn't work that way.
289
00:15:48,630 --> 00:15:52,327
There's all these little
(laughs) surprises.
290
00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:54,827
(Jake laughs)
291
00:15:55,742 --> 00:15:56,802
(Jake clears throat)
292
00:15:56,802 --> 00:15:58,372
(Sara moans)
293
00:15:58,372 --> 00:16:01,372
(slow bluesy music)
294
00:16:18,371 --> 00:16:19,204
Oh, yes.
295
00:16:20,227 --> 00:16:24,060
(slow bluesy music continues)
296
00:16:27,723 --> 00:16:31,306
Oh, yes, oh, Jake. (sighs)
297
00:16:39,830 --> 00:16:42,663
So your wife's a nurse, isn't she?
298
00:16:44,250 --> 00:16:47,590
- Yes, yes, she's a, she's a nurse at
299
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:50,763
St. Stephen's.
300
00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:54,240
- She is a very pretty woman.
301
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:55,413
- Yes, thank you.
302
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:57,630
I mean, you know.
303
00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:00,540
Yeah.
304
00:17:00,540 --> 00:17:02,940
- Yeah, how long have
you guys been married?
305
00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:05,493
- [Jake] Oh, oof, eight years.
306
00:17:05,493 --> 00:17:06,480
- [Sara] Oh, wow.
307
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,100
- [Jake] We met in high school, actually.
308
00:17:08,100 --> 00:17:10,383
I dated her sister first.
309
00:17:12,270 --> 00:17:14,645
- [Sara] Must be difficult for you.
310
00:17:14,645 --> 00:17:16,050
- [Jake] Oh, well.
311
00:17:16,050 --> 00:17:17,190
- [Sara] Ice?
312
00:17:17,190 --> 00:17:18,663
- [Jake] A spritz is fine.
313
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:24,920
- You know, an attractive man
like yourself, young, strong.
314
00:17:29,130 --> 00:17:31,023
The world must be full of temptation.
315
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:33,813
- I can handle myself.
316
00:17:36,837 --> 00:17:38,247
- Then what are you waiting for?
317
00:17:46,215 --> 00:17:49,172
Oh, God, I know you've been watching me.
318
00:17:49,172 --> 00:17:51,922
I get wet just thinking about it.
319
00:17:53,127 --> 00:17:53,960
Oh, God.
320
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,960
(dishes shattering)
321
00:17:59,634 --> 00:18:00,901
- Yeah.
322
00:18:00,901 --> 00:18:02,151
- Oh, oh, yeah.
323
00:18:04,033 --> 00:18:05,586
Oh, yeah.
324
00:18:05,586 --> 00:18:08,086
Oh, yes, oh, yes, harder, yes.
325
00:18:09,150 --> 00:18:11,620
Oh, God, just give it to me, harder.
326
00:18:13,155 --> 00:18:13,988
Oh, yes.
327
00:18:25,530 --> 00:18:27,840
Oh my God.
328
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,607
- Sorry, this doesn't
usually happen to me.
329
00:18:29,607 --> 00:18:31,230
- Oh, Jesus.
330
00:18:31,230 --> 00:18:32,063
- Sorry.
331
00:18:33,210 --> 00:18:34,440
- Christ.
332
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:35,273
- Hi.
333
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:38,820
- Jake, this is Nancy.
334
00:18:38,820 --> 00:18:40,483
- Hi, nice to meet you.
335
00:18:40,483 --> 00:18:43,230
- You know, he's married
to Brenda, the nurse.
336
00:18:43,230 --> 00:18:45,033
- [Nancy] Oh, yes, yes.
337
00:18:49,110 --> 00:18:50,355
- [Sara] How was work?
338
00:18:50,355 --> 00:18:54,030
- [Nancy] Oh, God, Puerto
Rican protest outside the UN,
339
00:18:54,030 --> 00:18:56,381
traffic was backed up
all over the east side.
340
00:18:56,381 --> 00:18:57,388
- [Sara] Really?
341
00:18:57,388 --> 00:18:59,290
So, your wife's a nurse?
342
00:18:59,290 --> 00:19:01,181
She is a very pretty woman.
343
00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:02,931
- [Jake] You know, I.
344
00:19:05,115 --> 00:19:06,282
- [Sara] Yeah.
345
00:19:07,449 --> 00:19:09,837
- I, (stammers) I gotta get going.
346
00:19:09,837 --> 00:19:12,510
- Oh, no, please stay a little while.
347
00:19:12,510 --> 00:19:13,800
- No, no, I can't.
348
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:15,030
Honey, we gotta get going.
349
00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:16,823
Thanks a lot, it's really been nice.
350
00:19:21,210 --> 00:19:22,703
- [Eddie] Lesbians, holy fucking shit,
351
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:25,140
you hit the fucking jackpot, Jake.
352
00:19:25,140 --> 00:19:26,073
- I know, I know.
353
00:19:27,090 --> 00:19:28,290
- Did you ever see "The Hunger"?
354
00:19:28,290 --> 00:19:29,123
- [Jake] No.
355
00:19:29,123 --> 00:19:30,870
- With Susan Sarandon and
Catherine what's her name,
356
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,310
the French chick?
357
00:19:32,310 --> 00:19:36,030
They're lesbian vampires, forget it, shit.
358
00:19:36,030 --> 00:19:37,860
You gotta have me over, how's Tuesday?
359
00:19:37,860 --> 00:19:39,779
I'll bring my binoculars.
360
00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:44,779
(Jake moans)
(Brenda moans)
361
00:20:06,608 --> 00:20:09,275
(Brenda laughs)
362
00:20:12,272 --> 00:20:14,281
(Jake sighs)
363
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:15,698
- That was great.
364
00:20:20,588 --> 00:20:22,542
- We should fight more often.
365
00:20:22,542 --> 00:20:23,375
- Yeah.
366
00:20:23,375 --> 00:20:24,208
- Huh?
367
00:20:24,208 --> 00:20:25,041
- Maybe.
368
00:20:25,041 --> 00:20:25,874
(slow bluesy music)
369
00:20:25,874 --> 00:20:28,541
(Brenda laughs)
370
00:20:29,965 --> 00:20:33,798
(slow bluesy music continues)
371
00:21:33,136 --> 00:21:36,136
(slow bluesy music)
372
00:21:47,388 --> 00:21:48,716
(slow jazzy music)
373
00:21:48,716 --> 00:21:51,633
(flames crackling)
374
00:21:56,370 --> 00:21:58,923
- [Frank] You see, money
was everything with me.
375
00:22:00,870 --> 00:22:05,340
My passion, my religion, my
vocation, my hobby, my mistress.
376
00:22:05,340 --> 00:22:09,153
In fact, it was money that was
on my mind that fateful day.
377
00:22:10,024 --> 00:22:12,941
(flames crackling)
378
00:22:13,860 --> 00:22:16,530
My name's Musso, Frank Musso.
379
00:22:16,530 --> 00:22:19,140
I'm a producer, I make TV movies,
380
00:22:19,140 --> 00:22:21,210
the ones about murder, adultery,
381
00:22:21,210 --> 00:22:24,090
eating disorders, substance
and spousal abuse,
382
00:22:24,090 --> 00:22:27,708
you know, lighthearted
entertainment for the whole family.
383
00:22:27,708 --> 00:22:30,625
(flames crackling)
384
00:22:32,108 --> 00:22:33,720
I was on my way to lock up the rights
385
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:37,350
to my next docudrama,
the Allison Shoop story.
386
00:22:37,350 --> 00:22:40,260
You remember Allison Shoop,
the nut who made headlines
387
00:22:40,260 --> 00:22:42,990
when she sold her two
kids for a case of gin.
388
00:22:42,990 --> 00:22:46,710
Tragic, but it would make
a hell of a TV movie.
389
00:22:46,710 --> 00:22:49,530
- [Announcer] Sunday night,
torn from today's headlines,
390
00:22:49,530 --> 00:22:51,240
the story that shocked a nation.
391
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,430
- Do you expect me to return my children
392
00:22:53,430 --> 00:22:55,993
to a woman who sold them for liquor money?
393
00:22:55,993 --> 00:22:59,820
- Don't you know alcoholism is a disease?
394
00:22:59,820 --> 00:23:01,050
- [Announcer] Morgan Brittany.
395
00:23:01,050 --> 00:23:02,670
- Lane and Whitney, they're mine now.
396
00:23:02,670 --> 00:23:04,770
- [Announcer] Tanya
Roberts as Allison Shoop.
397
00:23:04,770 --> 00:23:07,830
- I don't want money, Mrs. Van Leeland.
398
00:23:07,830 --> 00:23:09,663
I want my kids back.
399
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:13,801
- Maybe this will calm your nerves.
400
00:23:13,801 --> 00:23:14,634
(Tanya gasps)
401
00:23:14,634 --> 00:23:17,250
- [Announcer] "Kids for Sale:
The Allison Shoop Story,"
402
00:23:17,250 --> 00:23:18,660
Sunday night at nine.
403
00:23:18,660 --> 00:23:22,890
- [Frank] Yeah, it was a
natural for November sweeps.
404
00:23:22,890 --> 00:23:25,200
Now, all I needed was for
the trailer park queen
405
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:30,200
of San Berdoo to sign her life
over to moi, the biopic king.
406
00:23:30,690 --> 00:23:34,188
As the wise man once said,
"Go where the money is."
407
00:23:34,188 --> 00:23:39,188
(slow jazzy music continues)
(flames crackling)
408
00:23:39,990 --> 00:23:43,323
Yeah, it was a done deal, or was it?
409
00:23:44,430 --> 00:23:45,263
Damn.
410
00:23:46,710 --> 00:23:50,130
Todd Farrit, first time
I'd seen him east of Spago,
411
00:23:50,130 --> 00:23:53,160
and he already had his hooks
into the real Allison Shoop.
412
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:54,630
On the show business food chain,
413
00:23:54,630 --> 00:23:56,280
Farrit was a bottom feeder,
414
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:57,330
and there wasn't enough food
415
00:23:57,330 --> 00:23:58,800
on the bottom for the both of us.
416
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:00,480
- You're gonna be very happy-
- Mrs. Shoop!
417
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:03,720
Frank Musso, we spoke on the phone.
418
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,750
- You're too late, Musso,
I signed with Mr. Farrit.
419
00:24:06,750 --> 00:24:08,580
He made the numbers work.
420
00:24:08,580 --> 00:24:10,050
- Yeah, let me handle this, Allison.
421
00:24:10,050 --> 00:24:14,550
Frank Musso, a legend, big fan, Frank.
422
00:24:14,550 --> 00:24:16,727
You know, you were the '80s.
423
00:24:16,727 --> 00:24:18,510
- [Frank] Farrit first
made a name for himself
424
00:24:18,510 --> 00:24:20,430
when he was fired from the
William Morris mail room
425
00:24:20,430 --> 00:24:23,100
for steaming open Martin
Landau's paycheck.
426
00:24:23,100 --> 00:24:25,440
I made a mental note to
count my fingers later.
427
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,600
- I had no idea you were
negotiating with Mrs. Shoop,
428
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,670
Frank, or I never would
have closed the deal.
429
00:24:29,670 --> 00:24:31,830
- Yeah, right, and I've got common stock
430
00:24:31,830 --> 00:24:33,900
in Orion that's about to split.
431
00:24:33,900 --> 00:24:37,290
Look, Mrs. Shoop, do you really
want to put your life story
432
00:24:37,290 --> 00:24:40,020
in the hands of a kid
still in training Guccis,
433
00:24:40,020 --> 00:24:41,190
or the veteran producer
434
00:24:41,190 --> 00:24:43,777
of the Daytime Emmy award
winning after school special
435
00:24:43,777 --> 00:24:46,530
"Because Mommy Turns
Tricks" starring Pam Dawber?
436
00:24:46,530 --> 00:24:49,710
- You only promised me a movie, Musso.
437
00:24:49,710 --> 00:24:52,740
Todd's gonna make me into a miniseries.
438
00:24:52,740 --> 00:24:56,040
- They want to run it for
May sweeps over two nights.
439
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,980
- You'll need two nights to fit
her whole ass on the screen.
440
00:24:58,980 --> 00:25:01,590
- That's it, I'm getting my shotgun.
441
00:25:01,590 --> 00:25:03,630
- What kind of a monster
would sell her own children
442
00:25:03,630 --> 00:25:04,530
for booze money?
443
00:25:04,530 --> 00:25:06,870
- You can't talk to me like that, Musso.
444
00:25:06,870 --> 00:25:08,403
I'm the victim here.
445
00:25:08,403 --> 00:25:10,713
- Your refrigerator's the victim here.
446
00:25:12,661 --> 00:25:15,660
- Frankie, Frankie,
please, my hand to God,
447
00:25:15,660 --> 00:25:16,830
I take no joy in this.
448
00:25:16,830 --> 00:25:18,120
I hope this won't affect the way we feel
449
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:19,220
about each other, but-
450
00:25:21,362 --> 00:25:22,470
(slow jazzy music)
451
00:25:22,470 --> 00:25:24,750
- [Frank] That's the
problem when you're top gun.
452
00:25:24,750 --> 00:25:27,500
There's always some young
punk trying to knock you off.
453
00:25:28,513 --> 00:25:31,020
(phone beeps)
454
00:25:31,020 --> 00:25:32,580
- [Receptionist] Kim Frost's office.
455
00:25:32,580 --> 00:25:34,051
- Yeah, Frank Musso.
456
00:25:34,051 --> 00:25:34,884
- [Receptionist] I'll see if she's in.
457
00:25:34,884 --> 00:25:38,550
- [Frank] Kim Frost was
known as the MOW VP with PMS.
458
00:25:38,550 --> 00:25:40,650
I hated her, she hated me,
459
00:25:40,650 --> 00:25:42,510
but we made six TV movies together,
460
00:25:42,510 --> 00:25:44,520
which in LA is the same as love.
461
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:45,580
- [Kim] Cut to the chase, Musso.
462
00:25:45,580 --> 00:25:47,730
I got a four o'clock in the Valley.
463
00:25:47,730 --> 00:25:50,460
- Kim, the more I think about
this Allison Shoop story,
464
00:25:50,460 --> 00:25:53,790
the more I think we should be
celebrating the human spirit.
465
00:25:53,790 --> 00:25:55,917
- [Kim] Yeah, in other
words, you blew the deal.
466
00:25:55,917 --> 00:25:58,500
- No, she's trouble, I backed
out to save you an ulcer.
467
00:25:58,500 --> 00:25:59,333
- [Kim] Right.
468
00:25:59,333 --> 00:26:01,350
- Look, I've got better idea.
469
00:26:01,350 --> 00:26:02,647
I'm gonna fax you this article,
470
00:26:02,647 --> 00:26:05,370
"I was a Suburban Lap Dancer,"
471
00:26:05,370 --> 00:26:09,691
think Markie Post, a mom
by day, stripper by night.
472
00:26:09,691 --> 00:26:12,633
- [Kim] Frank, I gotta go, Todd
Farrit's on the other line.
473
00:26:12,633 --> 00:26:15,870
- [Frank] Farrit, that name
kept coming back like a check
474
00:26:15,870 --> 00:26:17,757
from Dino De Laurentiis.
475
00:26:17,757 --> 00:26:20,674
(slow jazzy music)
476
00:26:23,070 --> 00:26:25,620
I needed something to
break for me, and fast,
477
00:26:25,620 --> 00:26:28,671
or I'd be Monday's loser
du jour at the Polo Lounge.
478
00:26:28,671 --> 00:26:30,921
(cow moos)
479
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:36,693
Just then, the word "free"
caught my eye, it usually does.
480
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:40,200
It didn't seem like a
big decision at the time,
481
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:44,159
but that little detour
changed my life forever.
482
00:26:44,159 --> 00:26:46,220
(dog barks)
483
00:26:46,220 --> 00:26:49,727
(slow country music)
484
00:26:49,727 --> 00:26:52,203
(car horn honks)
485
00:26:52,203 --> 00:26:56,703
(background noise drowns out speaker)
486
00:26:57,899 --> 00:26:59,732
Hey, Clem, fill it up.
487
00:27:03,630 --> 00:27:08,073
Super unleaded, oh, and don't
forget the free lube job.
488
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:16,907
Hey, loved you in "Deliverance."
489
00:27:16,907 --> 00:27:19,979
- Oh. (laughs)
490
00:27:19,979 --> 00:27:22,710
(mechanic whistles)
491
00:27:22,710 --> 00:27:24,570
- Well, it wasn't the Fox Commissary,
492
00:27:24,570 --> 00:27:25,863
but it would have to do.
493
00:27:27,180 --> 00:27:29,190
The odds of my getting a Veal Sinatra here
494
00:27:29,190 --> 00:27:31,170
were virtually nil.
495
00:27:31,170 --> 00:27:33,510
If I left now, I could
get to Lucy's across
496
00:27:33,510 --> 00:27:35,610
from Paramount in time for happy hour.
497
00:27:35,610 --> 00:27:37,650
You can make a whole meal
out of those free nachos
498
00:27:37,650 --> 00:27:38,910
for the price of a Dos Equis.
499
00:27:38,910 --> 00:27:40,460
Sweetheart, could I see a menu?
500
00:27:41,369 --> 00:27:46,320
♪ It's what I've done, too,
I've been (indistinct) ♪
501
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:49,560
- Maybe you couldn't hear
me over the Reba McEntire.
502
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,230
Can I see a menu?
503
00:27:52,230 --> 00:27:54,270
- It's on the wall.
504
00:27:54,270 --> 00:27:56,280
You got a customer.
505
00:27:56,280 --> 00:28:00,569
- Mama, do I have to
freshen everybody's cup?
506
00:28:00,569 --> 00:28:04,290
My rotator cuff's been acting up again.
507
00:28:04,290 --> 00:28:08,730
- Oh, why don't you just go
soak in a hot tub, darling?
508
00:28:08,730 --> 00:28:10,980
I'll get Norma to cover for you.
509
00:28:10,980 --> 00:28:13,350
- Thank you, Mama.
510
00:28:13,350 --> 00:28:16,020
- Norma, there's some cups
need freshening out here.
511
00:28:16,020 --> 00:28:18,780
- Norma, Ed Noseworthy's
waiting on his chili.
512
00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:19,613
- Mm-hmm.
513
00:28:19,613 --> 00:28:21,814
- Mama, where is she?
514
00:28:21,814 --> 00:28:22,647
(customer belches)
515
00:28:22,647 --> 00:28:23,480
- [Frank] This place was further
516
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:24,500
from the main road than I thought.
517
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:29,815
I was nearly taillights
when she walked in.
518
00:28:29,815 --> 00:28:32,232
(slow music)
519
00:28:36,390 --> 00:28:38,523
Right then and there, I was hooked.
520
00:28:41,460 --> 00:28:43,440
Not just hooked, but reeled in,
521
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,320
cleaned, fileted, and wrapped
in yesterday's "Variety."
522
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:48,690
- Can't you see I got my
hands full, Charlotte?
523
00:28:48,690 --> 00:28:50,070
Maybe Princess Diana
524
00:28:50,070 --> 00:28:52,200
over there would get
up off her royal duff.
525
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:53,880
- Don't go picking on your sister,
526
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:56,790
and don't forget, you're
staying late to clean the grill.
527
00:28:56,790 --> 00:28:59,130
- But I was going to go see
that movie with Brad Pitt.
528
00:28:59,130 --> 00:29:01,080
- Well, tell him you can't go.
529
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:02,700
And don't sass your mother.
530
00:29:02,700 --> 00:29:07,053
- Stepmother, my birth mother's
dead, I wish you were, too.
531
00:29:08,771 --> 00:29:11,460
(Charlotte grumbles)
532
00:29:11,460 --> 00:29:12,750
- What do you want?
533
00:29:12,750 --> 00:29:14,760
- Oh, relax, Cinderella.
534
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:15,960
Why don't you just bring me a bowl
535
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:17,883
of that world-famous chili?
536
00:29:18,780 --> 00:29:20,400
I don't want to rush you,
537
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:24,573
but I do have to be back
in Hollywood at 4:30.
538
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:28,233
- You in the movies?
539
00:29:29,580 --> 00:29:30,753
- TV movies.
540
00:29:31,588 --> 00:29:32,880
- Oh. (sighs)
541
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:34,260
- Hey.
542
00:29:34,260 --> 00:29:35,130
- I'm leaving.
543
00:29:35,130 --> 00:29:37,110
- They're an art form in their own right.
544
00:29:37,110 --> 00:29:40,500
Did you happen to see "Starved
for Love" with Courteney Cox?
545
00:29:40,500 --> 00:29:41,550
- Uh-uh.
546
00:29:41,550 --> 00:29:43,080
- Well, "People Magazine" calls it
547
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:48,080
the definitive anorexia
movie, I produced it.
548
00:29:48,547 --> 00:29:50,790
- "People Magazine"?
549
00:29:50,790 --> 00:29:54,663
Well, I'm Norma Jean Hazelrigg.
550
00:29:55,725 --> 00:29:58,683
- Enchanté, Frank Musso.
551
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:01,920
How do you like my logo,
552
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:04,380
a serpent uncoiling out of a film can?
553
00:30:04,380 --> 00:30:05,783
- I like it a lot.
554
00:30:07,050 --> 00:30:09,120
You see, I'm just crazy
about show business, Frank.
555
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:12,390
I have never missed an episode
of "Entertainment Tonight."
556
00:30:12,390 --> 00:30:14,670
Did you see last night about Winona Ryder?
557
00:30:14,670 --> 00:30:16,890
That very same thing happened to me.
558
00:30:16,890 --> 00:30:19,050
- [Frank] This one loosened up real fast.
559
00:30:19,050 --> 00:30:21,150
She was too good to be true.
560
00:30:21,150 --> 00:30:23,310
- So it's like I'm
destined to become famous.
561
00:30:23,310 --> 00:30:25,140
- [Frank] Even if I had
to buy her dinner first,
562
00:30:25,140 --> 00:30:26,790
how much could it cost me out here?
563
00:30:26,790 --> 00:30:28,940
- Do you really have
to leave town so soon?
564
00:30:29,940 --> 00:30:31,800
There's this little motel down the street
565
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:34,533
where we could discuss movies.
566
00:30:35,940 --> 00:30:38,190
- [Charlotte] Norma Jean, stop dabbling
567
00:30:38,190 --> 00:30:40,110
and get back to work.
568
00:30:40,110 --> 00:30:45,110
- God, I hate that woman, I am working!
569
00:30:45,210 --> 00:30:47,190
- [Frank] I should have
hopped back into my Mercedes,
570
00:30:47,190 --> 00:30:48,673
but it was being lubed.
571
00:30:50,753 --> 00:30:53,433
Come to think of it, so was I.
572
00:30:54,445 --> 00:30:57,445
(slow bluesy music)
573
00:31:02,610 --> 00:31:05,460
At least I could put this
towards the price of the motel.
574
00:31:08,190 --> 00:31:10,053
Frank Musso for Ziggy Brillman.
575
00:31:11,070 --> 00:31:15,690
Well, tell him it's
urgent, Musso, Frank Musso.
576
00:31:15,690 --> 00:31:18,090
- If it had been written
"The days of your life,"
577
00:31:18,090 --> 00:31:21,300
it would have meant the days
only, but all the, what?
578
00:31:21,300 --> 00:31:22,780
- Mr. Z, Frank Musso.
579
00:31:22,780 --> 00:31:23,613
- What?
580
00:31:23,613 --> 00:31:24,453
- Urgent.
581
00:31:25,590 --> 00:31:27,600
- What are you calling me for, Musso?
582
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:30,721
There is no show business on Passover.
583
00:31:30,721 --> 00:31:31,554
- [Speaker] How could it be, can-
584
00:31:31,554 --> 00:31:33,675
- Barry, start the four questions.
585
00:31:33,675 --> 00:31:36,570
(Barry speaking in foreign language)
586
00:31:36,570 --> 00:31:40,239
- Ziggy, I happen to be at
a seder myself in Bel Air.
587
00:31:40,239 --> 00:31:42,990
(speaking in foreign language)
without me, Mr. Ovitz.
588
00:31:42,990 --> 00:31:45,690
- Hold it a minute, Barry, I can't hear.
589
00:31:45,690 --> 00:31:47,520
So, since when are you Jewish?
590
00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:50,820
- Since I sold "Because Daddy's
Gay" over Hanukkah latkes.
591
00:31:50,820 --> 00:31:54,690
Listen, Ziggy, I was talking
to Kim Frost at the network.
592
00:31:54,690 --> 00:31:55,800
- The cobra woman?
593
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,657
- And she's very hot
over one of my projects,
594
00:31:58,657 --> 00:32:02,100
"The Minerva Mimik Story."
595
00:32:02,100 --> 00:32:02,933
- Minerva who?
596
00:32:02,933 --> 00:32:05,460
- She's the one who buried
her ex-husband alive.
597
00:32:05,460 --> 00:32:07,830
Of course we're play up the tender side.
598
00:32:07,830 --> 00:32:09,090
You know, it'd be perfect
599
00:32:09,090 --> 00:32:12,390
for one of your clients, Lindsay Wagner.
600
00:32:12,390 --> 00:32:15,120
- What are you, Musso, the 11th plague?
601
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:18,930
All you do is exploit
tragedy for a quick buck.
602
00:32:18,930 --> 00:32:19,890
- Now, is that a no,
603
00:32:19,890 --> 00:32:21,690
or do I sense a little
wiggle room in there?
604
00:32:21,690 --> 00:32:26,520
- I will never put Lindsay into
one of your trashy projects.
605
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:28,770
- Listen, Ziggy, I don't
have to say she's attached,
606
00:32:28,770 --> 00:32:31,590
if I can just say she thumbed through it.
607
00:32:31,590 --> 00:32:33,720
- You're a vulture, a predator.
608
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:35,100
- How about she walked by it?
609
00:32:35,100 --> 00:32:38,070
- Hearse chaser, carrion bird.
610
00:32:38,070 --> 00:32:39,960
- Oh, yeah, I hope you
choke on some matzah
611
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,443
and none of your relatives
know the Heimlich maneuver.
612
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:45,930
- Barry, what are you waiting for?
613
00:32:45,930 --> 00:32:48,723
A little louder this time
so your Uncle Moe can hear.
614
00:32:49,816 --> 00:32:54,233
(Barry speaking in foreign language)
615
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:58,877
(slow jazzy music)
616
00:33:18,410 --> 00:33:20,760
(Frank sings)
617
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:22,426
- Pan Am Braniff.
618
00:33:22,426 --> 00:33:25,495
♪ It's a Pan Am kind of night ♪
619
00:33:25,495 --> 00:33:27,912
(Frank hums)
620
00:33:29,466 --> 00:33:32,049
(Norma knocks)
621
00:33:37,020 --> 00:33:38,370
- Sorry I'm late, Frank.
622
00:33:38,370 --> 00:33:41,283
- [Frank] No problemo, come in.
623
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:44,820
- It's just that awful stepmother of mine.
624
00:33:45,877 --> 00:33:47,460
"Scrub the dishes, Norma Jean.
625
00:33:47,460 --> 00:33:48,990
Scrape the grill, Norma Jean."
626
00:33:48,990 --> 00:33:50,130
- Why don't you sit down, Cinderella?
627
00:33:50,130 --> 00:33:52,560
Just toss those scripts aside.
628
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:57,560
- Oh, "I Want My Ovaries
Back: The Verna Felton Story."
629
00:33:58,650 --> 00:34:02,400
- Yeah, that's the egg donor
who sued for child custody.
630
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,346
It's on the fast track at Fox.
631
00:34:04,346 --> 00:34:05,557
(glasses clinking)
632
00:34:05,557 --> 00:34:07,377
- "You'll Never Hit My Kids Again:
633
00:34:07,377 --> 00:34:09,847
The Clorinda Skidmore Story."
634
00:34:09,847 --> 00:34:14,100
"So Pull the Plug Already:
The Nate Mandelbaum Story."
635
00:34:14,100 --> 00:34:16,290
- As Sam Goldwyn used to say,
636
00:34:16,290 --> 00:34:18,409
there's no fiction like the truth.
637
00:34:18,409 --> 00:34:21,750
(glasses clinking)
638
00:34:21,750 --> 00:34:24,270
- I bet you can make a
movie out of my life, Frank,
639
00:34:24,270 --> 00:34:29,270
then I'd be rich and famous
and on the cover of "People."
640
00:34:29,340 --> 00:34:30,657
And then I wouldn't have
to live with my stepmother
641
00:34:30,657 --> 00:34:33,420
and my stepsisters ever again.
642
00:34:33,420 --> 00:34:36,453
- We might consummate a deal.
643
00:34:39,150 --> 00:34:42,180
Go ahead, Cinderella,
tell me your life story.
644
00:34:42,180 --> 00:34:45,813
Maybe I can give it a Hollywood ending.
645
00:34:47,010 --> 00:34:50,760
- All right, it all started 17 years ago.
646
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:53,160
We were a happy family until my mama died.
647
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:54,360
- [Frank] She was a nice kid
648
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:57,450
and I didn't want to dash her
dreams, so I let her talk.
649
00:34:57,450 --> 00:34:58,590
- [Norma] Married to that old witch.
650
00:34:58,590 --> 00:34:59,423
- [Frank] And talk.
651
00:34:59,423 --> 00:35:00,666
- [Norma] I ran away from home.
652
00:35:00,666 --> 00:35:01,680
- [Frank] And talk.
653
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:05,100
- Then Charlotte found me in
Modesto, and (claps) boom,
654
00:35:05,100 --> 00:35:07,600
right back in the kitchen,
scraping pots and pans.
655
00:35:09,390 --> 00:35:11,010
So would that be a good movie, Frank?
656
00:35:11,010 --> 00:35:13,987
- Absolutely, but I already made it,
657
00:35:13,987 --> 00:35:16,830
"Portrait of a Runaway"
with Valerie Bertinelli.
658
00:35:16,830 --> 00:35:18,450
It won its time slot.
659
00:35:18,450 --> 00:35:21,660
Now, look, Cinderella, if
you want to sell a TV movie,
660
00:35:21,660 --> 00:35:25,350
you've got to have a hook,
a strong through line,
661
00:35:25,350 --> 00:35:28,050
like setting your husband on fire
662
00:35:28,050 --> 00:35:30,180
or climbing up a tower with a rifle
663
00:35:30,180 --> 00:35:32,133
and picking off the student body.
664
00:35:33,330 --> 00:35:35,733
- Well, now that you mention it,
665
00:35:36,870 --> 00:35:39,870
some nights when I'm
working late at the diner,
666
00:35:39,870 --> 00:35:41,673
I have these fantasies.
667
00:35:43,050 --> 00:35:44,403
- I know what you mean.
668
00:35:45,330 --> 00:35:48,240
- About killing my stepmother
and my stepsisters.
669
00:35:48,240 --> 00:35:50,130
- Then you'd have something.
670
00:35:50,130 --> 00:35:52,747
I could sell that on the title alone,
671
00:35:52,747 --> 00:35:57,747
"The Cinderella Killer: The Norma Jean,"
672
00:35:57,930 --> 00:35:59,192
what's your name again?
673
00:35:59,192 --> 00:36:00,025
- Hazelrigg.
674
00:36:00,025 --> 00:36:01,980
- "The Norma Jean Hazelrigg Story,"
675
00:36:01,980 --> 00:36:03,720
with Pamela Anderson as you,
676
00:36:03,720 --> 00:36:07,380
Ann-Margret as your
stepmother, and Brian Dennehy-
677
00:36:07,380 --> 00:36:08,790
- What would he play?
678
00:36:08,790 --> 00:36:10,980
- It's a TV movie, you've
gotta have Brian Dennehy.
679
00:36:10,980 --> 00:36:14,527
We'll weave him in and out
as the ghost of your father.
680
00:36:14,527 --> 00:36:17,403
- "The Cinderella Killer," I love it.
681
00:36:19,224 --> 00:36:21,210
But if I kill my family,
wouldn't I have to,
682
00:36:21,210 --> 00:36:24,390
like, go to prison or the
gas chamber or something?
683
00:36:24,390 --> 00:36:26,043
- Babe, where have you been?
684
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:29,250
Nobody walks the last mile anymore.
685
00:36:29,250 --> 00:36:30,780
You hire Leslie Abramson,
686
00:36:30,780 --> 00:36:33,360
played in your movie by Linda Lavin.
687
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:35,970
No, Dyan Cannon, she gets you off
688
00:36:35,970 --> 00:36:39,930
on a technicality and
happy ending. (snaps)
689
00:36:39,930 --> 00:36:41,613
Cut to the Frito-Lay commercial.
690
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:45,000
- And would I make a lot of money, Frank?
691
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,340
- You'd have the entire
collection of presidents.
692
00:36:47,340 --> 00:36:50,310
- Oh, I just love money, Frank.
693
00:36:50,310 --> 00:36:51,660
Sometimes when nobody's looking,
694
00:36:51,660 --> 00:36:53,010
I just reach into the register
695
00:36:53,010 --> 00:36:57,360
and I grab a great big wad
of cash and I just smell it.
696
00:36:57,360 --> 00:36:58,620
- You do that, too?
697
00:36:58,620 --> 00:36:59,453
- Uh-huh.
698
00:37:01,243 --> 00:37:03,000
I think we should do it, Frank.
699
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,443
- Now you're talking, babe.
700
00:37:06,270 --> 00:37:09,363
- No, I mean we should do the movie.
701
00:37:10,530 --> 00:37:14,640
- Oh, well, I'd like nothing better than
702
00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:18,630
to go into Kim Frost's office
with "The Cinderella Killer,"
703
00:37:18,630 --> 00:37:22,470
only there are a few
grounds in the cappuccino.
704
00:37:22,470 --> 00:37:23,910
- What do you mean?
705
00:37:23,910 --> 00:37:25,380
- Well, none of this ever happened.
706
00:37:25,380 --> 00:37:28,200
I was just pitching, spinning a yarn.
707
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:30,633
You fell under the Musso's spell.
708
00:37:31,860 --> 00:37:34,140
- Well, we can make it happen.
709
00:37:34,140 --> 00:37:37,260
- Yes, we could, what?
710
00:37:37,260 --> 00:37:38,880
- We could kill my stepmother
711
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:40,830
and those dumb daughters of hers.
712
00:37:40,830 --> 00:37:42,487
- Oh. (stammers)
713
00:37:42,487 --> 00:37:44,250
- We can do it just like you said, Frank,
714
00:37:44,250 --> 00:37:46,470
you know, the through line.
715
00:37:46,470 --> 00:37:50,760
- Oh, pause, rewind, Norma,
it doesn't work that way.
716
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:53,760
You see, I wait for
something horrible to happen
717
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:58,760
and then I make a movie about
it, not the other way around.
718
00:37:59,610 --> 00:38:03,990
- Of course, Frank,
you're absolutely right.
719
00:38:03,990 --> 00:38:06,843
Sometimes my imagination just runs wild.
720
00:38:07,890 --> 00:38:10,323
What about your imagination, Frank?
721
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:13,683
What are you imagining right now?
722
00:38:14,940 --> 00:38:17,220
Because all this talk about movies
723
00:38:17,220 --> 00:38:22,013
and money has made me very, very horny.
724
00:38:24,343 --> 00:38:28,020
(slow ominous music)
725
00:38:28,020 --> 00:38:29,520
- [Frank] Before I knew
what was happening,
726
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:32,520
she was doing things to me
that I hadn't even done to me,
727
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:34,770
things that Masters never told Johnson,
728
00:38:34,770 --> 00:38:36,633
that Kinsey kept out of his report.
729
00:38:38,730 --> 00:38:40,290
And when it was all over,
730
00:38:40,290 --> 00:38:43,977
I found myself in much
deeper than I had planned.
731
00:38:43,977 --> 00:38:46,894
(slow jazzy music)
732
00:38:55,017 --> 00:38:59,580
- Oh, Frank, that was just the
greatest sex I've ever had.
733
00:38:59,580 --> 00:39:02,013
- You're not kidding, I don't even smoke.
734
00:39:03,879 --> 00:39:06,521
- Oh, Frankie, it's too bad you have
735
00:39:06,521 --> 00:39:11,521
to go back to Hollywood, we
can't make our little movie.
736
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:16,320
- Movie, what she really meant was murder,
737
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:19,680
and yet, suddenly it
didn't seem so crazy to me.
738
00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:21,570
Why not create the events,
739
00:39:21,570 --> 00:39:24,090
instead of sitting around
waiting for them to happen,
740
00:39:24,090 --> 00:39:25,380
then getting beaten to the rights
741
00:39:25,380 --> 00:39:28,590
by the likes of a Todd Farrit, why not?
742
00:39:28,590 --> 00:39:30,030
Who said Frank Musso has
743
00:39:30,030 --> 00:39:32,610
to be the last moral man in Hollywood?
744
00:39:32,610 --> 00:39:35,339
Norma, we'll do it.
745
00:39:35,339 --> 00:39:36,524
(Norma gasps)
746
00:39:36,524 --> 00:39:40,530
- Oh, Frank, it does help
to sleep with a producer.
747
00:39:40,530 --> 00:39:41,940
I just have to become famous.
748
00:39:41,940 --> 00:39:44,130
I don't know how to do anything else.
749
00:39:44,130 --> 00:39:46,588
- Oh, I wouldn't exactly say that.
750
00:39:46,588 --> 00:39:48,780
(Norma laughs)
751
00:39:48,780 --> 00:39:51,510
The ideas began to explode in my head.
752
00:39:51,510 --> 00:39:52,650
Planning a real murder
753
00:39:52,650 --> 00:39:55,590
to capture the public's
imagination wouldn't be so tough.
754
00:39:55,590 --> 00:39:58,890
I knew all the tricks, a splashy opening,
755
00:39:58,890 --> 00:40:02,760
a heart rending backstory,
courtroom fireworks,
756
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:05,220
some skin between the sheets,
757
00:40:05,220 --> 00:40:07,890
and finally, vodka for everyone.
758
00:40:07,890 --> 00:40:10,890
But most of all, you needed
a sympathetic lead character
759
00:40:10,890 --> 00:40:13,443
that every humdrum
hausfrau could relate to.
760
00:40:17,430 --> 00:40:20,613
All right, so we needed a
little work in that department.
761
00:40:21,802 --> 00:40:24,385
(coyote howls)
762
00:40:25,585 --> 00:40:28,502
(slow jazzy music)
763
00:40:29,501 --> 00:40:32,334
(gas meter dings)
764
00:40:38,241 --> 00:40:41,520
(slow ominous music)
765
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:44,160
She followed my script
just as I had written it,
766
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:49,081
shot by shot, but she added a
few little nuances of her own.
767
00:40:49,081 --> 00:40:51,998
(slow tango music)
768
00:41:11,241 --> 00:41:12,809
(door creaks)
769
00:41:12,809 --> 00:41:13,642
- [Speaker On TV] Call the number
770
00:41:13,642 --> 00:41:15,729
on the screen, folks, and order now.
771
00:41:15,729 --> 00:41:16,834
- [Speaker On TV] Because in 10 minutes,
772
00:41:16,834 --> 00:41:17,952
it won't be available.
773
00:41:17,952 --> 00:41:20,367
- [Speaker On TV] And they're just 19.95.
774
00:41:20,367 --> 00:41:21,839
- [Speaker] You cannot beat this, really.
775
00:41:21,839 --> 00:41:22,911
I mean, do you think someone-
776
00:41:22,911 --> 00:41:25,346
(slow ominous music)
777
00:41:25,346 --> 00:41:26,831
(door creaks)
778
00:41:26,831 --> 00:41:28,192
- [Speaker On TV] They
are environmentally safe.
779
00:41:28,192 --> 00:41:30,857
- [Speaker On TV] Right, as
well as fun with your cat.
780
00:41:30,857 --> 00:41:32,399
Oh, and we have a special offer
781
00:41:32,399 --> 00:41:33,794
that Matt's gonna tell us about.
782
00:41:33,794 --> 00:41:35,490
- [Matt] That's right,
if you order right now,
783
00:41:35,490 --> 00:41:39,454
we're gonna throw in the free
kitty litter odor eliminator.
784
00:41:39,454 --> 00:41:40,620
Now, is that necessary?
785
00:41:40,620 --> 00:41:42,960
- [Frank] Of course, Frank
Musso was nowhere near the scene
786
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:44,460
of the crime when it happened.
787
00:41:45,711 --> 00:41:48,211
(phone rings)
788
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:53,753
- Hello?
789
00:41:53,753 --> 00:41:56,010
- Ziggy, Frank Musso.
790
00:41:56,010 --> 00:41:57,231
- Musso?
791
00:41:57,231 --> 00:41:58,140
- You know, I felt bad
792
00:41:58,140 --> 00:42:00,840
about how our conversation
ended this afternoon.
793
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:03,810
After all, it's a relationship business,
794
00:42:03,810 --> 00:42:06,600
and since I'm cruising Trousdale,
795
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:07,920
why don't I just stop on over
796
00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:10,637
and we'll polish off a
bottle of Manischewitz?
797
00:42:10,637 --> 00:42:11,470
- Do you know what time it is?
798
00:42:11,470 --> 00:42:15,630
- Why, no, Ziggy, the
clock is broken in my car.
799
00:42:15,630 --> 00:42:17,130
What time is it?
800
00:42:17,130 --> 00:42:19,560
- [Ziggy] It's 3:15 in the morning.
801
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:21,900
- [Frank] What time did you say?
802
00:42:21,900 --> 00:42:24,930
- 3:15 in the morning.
803
00:42:24,930 --> 00:42:28,440
- Ziggy, if I'd have known it was 3:15
804
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:31,950
in the morning, I never would have called.
805
00:42:31,950 --> 00:42:34,368
I'll just let you get on back to bed.
806
00:42:34,368 --> 00:42:35,584
(car horn honks)
807
00:42:35,584 --> 00:42:37,373
Hey, watch out, you lunatic, are you nuts?
808
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:40,950
Ooh, close call, Ziggy,
809
00:42:40,950 --> 00:42:45,720
almost a head on collision
right here on Loma Vista,
810
00:42:45,720 --> 00:42:50,293
where I happen to be right
now at 3:15 in the morning.
811
00:42:51,955 --> 00:42:54,946
(Ziggy speaking in foreign language)
812
00:42:54,946 --> 00:42:57,180
(phone beeps)
813
00:42:57,180 --> 00:42:58,013
You're up?
814
00:42:59,230 --> 00:43:00,660
- [Frank] For a first time killer,
815
00:43:00,660 --> 00:43:05,613
she was pretty cool,
maybe a little too cool.
816
00:43:06,784 --> 00:43:09,951
(slow dramatic music)
817
00:43:21,510 --> 00:43:24,540
Leaving the shoe behind
was a nice visual touch.
818
00:43:24,540 --> 00:43:25,530
I planned on building
819
00:43:25,530 --> 00:43:28,448
the whole Cinderella
ad campaign around it.
820
00:43:28,448 --> 00:43:31,115
(fire crackles)
821
00:43:38,001 --> 00:43:39,793
There was no turning back now.
822
00:43:39,793 --> 00:43:42,067
- Oh, it was just perfect,
oh, it was just like,
823
00:43:42,067 --> 00:43:43,296
it was just like we planned.
824
00:43:43,296 --> 00:43:44,147
You should have been there.
825
00:43:44,147 --> 00:43:45,810
I did it, I did it, Frank.
826
00:43:45,810 --> 00:43:48,570
You should have seen it, it
was just like we planned.
827
00:43:48,570 --> 00:43:50,160
Cover up people, Frank.
828
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:51,998
- Cover up people, babe.
829
00:43:51,998 --> 00:43:54,208
- Oh.
830
00:43:54,208 --> 00:43:57,541
(slow orchestral music)
831
00:44:01,248 --> 00:44:05,583
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪
832
00:44:05,583 --> 00:44:10,556
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah ♪
833
00:44:10,556 --> 00:44:11,430
♪ Hallelujah ♪
834
00:44:11,430 --> 00:44:14,310
- And Heavenly Father, may we also ask
835
00:44:14,310 --> 00:44:17,550
that you guide and protect
our young Norma Jean
836
00:44:17,550 --> 00:44:21,033
as she struggles through life
without her loving family.
837
00:44:22,620 --> 00:44:26,700
As we are all children, so
are the days of our lives,
838
00:44:26,700 --> 00:44:31,290
and so, all my children, like
sands through the hourglass,
839
00:44:31,290 --> 00:44:33,060
we have one life to live.
840
00:44:33,060 --> 00:44:34,260
- [Frank] Norma was good,
841
00:44:34,260 --> 00:44:37,097
better than good, she was great.
842
00:44:37,097 --> 00:44:39,900
(Norma cries)
843
00:44:39,900 --> 00:44:42,570
Unfortunately, the local cops weren't.
844
00:44:42,570 --> 00:44:44,910
I realized if I ever wanted her arrested,
845
00:44:44,910 --> 00:44:46,980
I was gonna have to help it along.
846
00:44:46,980 --> 00:44:48,540
- Amen, let's eat.
847
00:44:48,540 --> 00:44:53,540
(upbeat country music)
(group chattering)
848
00:44:54,172 --> 00:44:56,820
- Oh, look, that's a huge-
(group chattering)
849
00:44:56,820 --> 00:45:01,203
- Don't you get it, if the
shoe fits, she is the killer.
850
00:45:03,210 --> 00:45:04,650
Nevermind who this is, Sherlock.
851
00:45:04,650 --> 00:45:05,910
I'm an anonymous tipster.
852
00:45:05,910 --> 00:45:08,403
If I give you my name,
I wouldn't be anonymous.
853
00:45:10,138 --> 00:45:11,993
Geez, you can't even get
arrested in this town.
854
00:45:14,398 --> 00:45:16,710
(coins clinking)
855
00:45:16,710 --> 00:45:17,543
Thank you.
856
00:45:18,633 --> 00:45:21,133
(siren wails)
857
00:45:24,510 --> 00:45:25,343
- There she is.
858
00:45:28,076 --> 00:45:29,898
Ma'am, come with us, please?
859
00:45:29,898 --> 00:45:31,980
- [Speaker] What's the problem?
860
00:45:31,980 --> 00:45:33,323
- [Officer] Right over here, have a seat.
861
00:45:33,323 --> 00:45:35,313
Try not to contaminate this evidence.
862
00:45:36,318 --> 00:45:39,235
(group chattering)
863
00:45:44,623 --> 00:45:46,080
(person gasps)
864
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:48,090
- [Frank] Norma played
it for all it was worth,
865
00:45:48,090 --> 00:45:49,200
and the way I'd figured,
866
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:52,107
it was worth at least
eight mil after taxes.
867
00:45:52,107 --> 00:45:52,940
(Norma gasps)
868
00:45:52,940 --> 00:45:56,520
(group chattering)
869
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:58,650
Her grave site arrest
would make a great button
870
00:45:58,650 --> 00:46:00,400
before the second commercial break.
871
00:46:02,238 --> 00:46:05,321
(slow country music)
872
00:46:18,541 --> 00:46:22,825
- [Photographer] Look this
way, turn to the right.
873
00:46:22,825 --> 00:46:24,574
Lock her up.
874
00:46:24,574 --> 00:46:29,217
(slow country music continues)
875
00:46:29,217 --> 00:46:31,410
- She was booked for murder one.
876
00:46:31,410 --> 00:46:33,840
Now it was time to go
into my song and dance,
877
00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:35,463
handling the media frenzy.
878
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:38,733
Some frenzy.
879
00:46:41,481 --> 00:46:43,898
(slow music)
880
00:46:45,900 --> 00:46:49,410
Hey, Woodward and Bernstein,
quite a story, huh?
881
00:46:49,410 --> 00:46:51,300
- Story, what story, mister?
882
00:46:51,300 --> 00:46:53,160
- We're here to cover
the mayor's presentation
883
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,200
of the Safest Driver of the Year Award.
884
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:59,130
- Oh, excusez-moi, I didn't
realize you had a bigger story
885
00:46:59,130 --> 00:47:02,103
than the Hazelrigg murders.
886
00:47:03,570 --> 00:47:05,013
- Hazelrigg murders?
887
00:47:07,020 --> 00:47:10,080
- Yes, fascinating case, young girl,
888
00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:13,170
abused by a wicked
stepmother and stepsisters,
889
00:47:13,170 --> 00:47:14,553
reminds me of something.
890
00:47:16,650 --> 00:47:20,340
Rushes off, leaving a slipper behind.
891
00:47:20,340 --> 00:47:23,347
Now, wasn't there a fairytale?
892
00:47:23,347 --> 00:47:25,115
- "Snow White." (laughs)
893
00:47:25,115 --> 00:47:26,670
- Right, and you're Dopey.
894
00:47:26,670 --> 00:47:27,503
- Uh-huh.
895
00:47:27,503 --> 00:47:31,713
- No, the other one, the one
that rhymes with Barry Diller?
896
00:47:36,270 --> 00:47:38,460
- Cinderellar?
897
00:47:38,460 --> 00:47:40,920
- No, Ned, Cinderella.
898
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:42,870
- Yes, I love how your minds work
899
00:47:42,870 --> 00:47:45,000
as a single harmonious unit,
900
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:48,450
and since she's a Cinderella that kills,
901
00:47:48,450 --> 00:47:50,640
that makes her the-
902
00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:52,770
- Cinderella murderer.
903
00:47:52,770 --> 00:47:56,103
- Interesting choice, but I
think we can do a little better.
904
00:47:57,240 --> 00:48:00,783
She's a killer, she's
Cinderella, she's the?
905
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:06,060
- Cinderella killer.
- Cinderella killer.
906
00:48:06,060 --> 00:48:08,010
- Congratulations, I'm gonna release
907
00:48:08,010 --> 00:48:09,630
the white smoke of victory.
908
00:48:09,630 --> 00:48:12,060
Oh, write it down before you forget it.
909
00:48:12,060 --> 00:48:14,210
They don't call this
kid Scoop for nothing.
910
00:48:15,270 --> 00:48:20,190
No, there's two Ls in Cinderella,
but only one in Pulitzer.
911
00:48:20,190 --> 00:48:21,330
Now, why don't you boys get in there
912
00:48:21,330 --> 00:48:23,880
before that sleazy "New
York Times" shows up
913
00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:26,592
and grabs all the glory, go, go, go.
914
00:48:26,592 --> 00:48:28,260
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
915
00:48:28,260 --> 00:48:30,423
Hey, thanks, mister.
916
00:48:31,590 --> 00:48:32,440
- Thanks, mister.
917
00:48:35,484 --> 00:48:38,610
(car horn honks)
918
00:48:38,610 --> 00:48:41,250
- All right, so it wasn't
the "New York Times,"
919
00:48:41,250 --> 00:48:42,720
but it was a start.
920
00:48:42,720 --> 00:48:45,390
All the story needed
now was a little nudge,
921
00:48:45,390 --> 00:48:48,180
and I was just the little
nudge to get it going.
922
00:48:48,180 --> 00:48:49,620
Hello, is this Dominick Dunne?
923
00:48:49,620 --> 00:48:50,580
- [Dominick] This is he.
924
00:48:50,580 --> 00:48:51,478
- It is?
925
00:48:51,478 --> 00:48:52,311
- [Dominick] Mm-hmm.
926
00:48:52,311 --> 00:48:54,084
- Well, I am a tremendous fan, sir.
927
00:48:54,084 --> 00:48:54,917
- [Dominick] And your name?
928
00:48:54,917 --> 00:48:56,550
- I am Owen C. Crouch,
county trial coordinator here
929
00:48:56,550 --> 00:48:58,230
in Modesto, California.
930
00:48:58,230 --> 00:48:59,063
- [Dominick] Modesto, huh?
931
00:48:59,063 --> 00:49:00,720
- Now, "Vanity Fair" informs me
932
00:49:00,720 --> 00:49:03,120
you will be covering the
Cinderella killer trial.
933
00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:04,380
- [Dominick] I'm not familiar with that.
934
00:49:04,380 --> 00:49:05,534
- Oh, you're not?
935
00:49:05,534 --> 00:49:06,367
- [Dominick] No.
936
00:49:06,367 --> 00:49:09,060
- Well, that is just as well,
sir, because Norman Mailer
937
00:49:09,060 --> 00:49:11,310
and Joe McGinniss are
requesting permanent seats.
938
00:49:11,310 --> 00:49:12,143
- [Dominick] Mailer and McGinniss?
939
00:49:12,143 --> 00:49:17,120
- Now, if you change your
mind, I am at 209-555-0965.
940
00:49:18,532 --> 00:49:19,949
- [Dominick] 096-
941
00:49:24,357 --> 00:49:25,190
(phone rings)
942
00:49:25,190 --> 00:49:27,300
(slow music)
943
00:49:27,300 --> 00:49:29,747
- Modesto County
Courthouse, Crouch speaking.
944
00:49:29,747 --> 00:49:30,990
- [Dominick] Yes, this is Dominick Dunne.
945
00:49:30,990 --> 00:49:32,613
- Oh, yes, Mr. Dunne.
946
00:49:33,681 --> 00:49:36,260
(crickets chirping)
947
00:49:36,260 --> 00:49:38,670
(door knocks)
948
00:49:38,670 --> 00:49:42,450
- Hi, I have a delivery for Mr. Mosso.
949
00:49:42,450 --> 00:49:45,873
- No, that's Musso, 31 minutes, it's free.
950
00:49:47,460 --> 00:49:49,800
- Wait a minute, wait, what about a tip?
951
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:52,700
- You want to a tip, you'll
never get laid in that outfit.
952
00:49:53,779 --> 00:49:55,170
(door slams)
953
00:49:55,170 --> 00:49:58,050
The next order of business
was to get Norma an attorney,
954
00:49:58,050 --> 00:50:01,000
and where does one turn to find
a good attorney these days?
955
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:05,550
- Good evening, I'm Terry Murphy.
956
00:50:05,550 --> 00:50:09,330
Our top story tonight on "Hard
Copy," the Cinderella killer.
957
00:50:09,330 --> 00:50:13,770
This case has it all, sex,
violence, a beautiful defendant,
958
00:50:13,770 --> 00:50:16,890
and the now infamous red high heeled shoe.
959
00:50:16,890 --> 00:50:18,960
Joining us from Houston is the attorney
960
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:22,290
that successfully defended
the Central Park strangler,
961
00:50:22,290 --> 00:50:25,620
the Atlanta ax murder, and
most of the Jackson family.
962
00:50:25,620 --> 00:50:28,177
He's also the author of
the current bestseller,
963
00:50:28,177 --> 00:50:32,100
"Don't Get Mad, Get a
Lawyer," Noble Hart, Noble?
964
00:50:32,100 --> 00:50:34,920
- Howdy, Larry, it's always a pleasure.
965
00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:38,490
- No, I'm Terry Murphy
and this is "Hard Copy."
966
00:50:38,490 --> 00:50:41,760
- Oh, oh, sorry, I do so many
of these satellite feeds,
967
00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:42,833
I thought, thought, you know.
968
00:50:43,710 --> 00:50:44,790
- Noble, what's your take
969
00:50:44,790 --> 00:50:47,370
on this whole Cinderella killer thing?
970
00:50:47,370 --> 00:50:48,960
- Oh, maybe I'm just
an old country lawyer,
971
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:51,030
but I can tell you, you
can bet the ranch I know
972
00:50:51,030 --> 00:50:52,590
which way this horse is heading.
973
00:50:52,590 --> 00:50:53,423
- [Frank] I didn't know
974
00:50:53,423 --> 00:50:55,950
who this smug pontificating redneck was,
975
00:50:55,950 --> 00:50:59,160
but he was just the kind of
cornball a jury would fall for,
976
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:00,360
and his passing resemblance
977
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:02,340
to actor Brian Keith would help us later
978
00:51:02,340 --> 00:51:03,270
in casting the movie.
979
00:51:03,270 --> 00:51:04,590
- What's gonna happen is,
980
00:51:04,590 --> 00:51:08,670
little Miss Hazelrigg's
hard guns are gonna trot out
981
00:51:08,670 --> 00:51:12,240
the old abuse excuse and
they're gonna tell you
982
00:51:12,240 --> 00:51:15,480
that she's just a poor
victimized child who didn't have
983
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:19,800
any choice but to kill her
abusive family in self-defense.
984
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:23,160
Now, that skunk throws
a pretty strong scent,
985
00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:26,100
and I can tell you that I personally find
986
00:51:26,100 --> 00:51:29,525
that kind of defense to
be morally repugnant.
987
00:51:29,525 --> 00:51:31,205
(slow bluegrass music)
988
00:51:31,205 --> 00:51:32,274
(phone beeps)
989
00:51:32,274 --> 00:51:35,430
- Oh, Mr. Hart!
(group chattering)
990
00:51:35,430 --> 00:51:37,833
- Now, my friends, I just want to say
991
00:51:37,833 --> 00:51:40,080
that I'm extremely proud
992
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:42,690
to be heading up Ms.
Hazelrigg's defense team.
993
00:51:42,690 --> 00:51:43,770
- [Report] Together,
please, a little closer.
994
00:51:43,770 --> 00:51:45,480
- And when all the facts are in,
995
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:50,370
y'all are gonna see that she
is just a poor victimized child
996
00:51:50,370 --> 00:51:52,710
who had no choice but to kill
997
00:51:52,710 --> 00:51:55,683
that abusive family in self-defense.
998
00:51:56,700 --> 00:51:59,617
(group chattering)
999
00:52:02,417 --> 00:52:03,259
- [Announcer] You've been watching
1000
00:52:03,259 --> 00:52:04,650
Noble Hart's live press conference.
1001
00:52:04,650 --> 00:52:07,710
Coming up, dads who sleep with
their daughter's boyfriends
1002
00:52:07,710 --> 00:52:09,807
on an all-new "Jerry Springer."
1003
00:52:11,400 --> 00:52:13,110
- [Frank] But I really
knew we were on our way
1004
00:52:13,110 --> 00:52:16,650
when the late night comics
started jumping on the story.
1005
00:52:16,650 --> 00:52:19,680
- This is kind of odd, I think
this Norma Jean Hazelrigg,
1006
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:20,860
you know, Paul, Norma Jean?
- Yeah.
1007
00:52:20,860 --> 00:52:23,430
- Yeah, I think she may
be trying to capitalize,
1008
00:52:23,430 --> 00:52:25,950
make some money off of her family tragedy.
1009
00:52:25,950 --> 00:52:28,140
I heard where she was opening a restaurant
1010
00:52:28,140 --> 00:52:31,904
in New York City in a couple
of weeks, Planet Homicide.
1011
00:52:31,904 --> 00:52:33,852
(audience laughs)
1012
00:52:33,852 --> 00:52:35,578
(background noise drowns out speaker)
1013
00:52:35,578 --> 00:52:36,734
(Frank laughs)
1014
00:52:36,734 --> 00:52:40,020
- They say the defendant left
her shoe at the murder scene.
1015
00:52:40,020 --> 00:52:42,510
That's actually the most
famous high heeled pump
1016
00:52:42,510 --> 00:52:45,791
in criminal history next
to J. Edgar Hoover's, so.
1017
00:52:45,791 --> 00:52:47,164
(audience laughs)
1018
00:52:47,164 --> 00:52:49,237
(audience cheers)
1019
00:52:49,237 --> 00:52:54,237
- "The Insider," "The Post."
(slow music)
1020
00:52:54,847 --> 00:52:56,877
"USA Today,"
1021
00:52:58,020 --> 00:53:00,990
and I've been saving this
for a special surprise.
1022
00:53:00,990 --> 00:53:02,493
It hits the stands Monday.
1023
00:53:04,317 --> 00:53:07,170
- Oh, Frank. (laughs)
1024
00:53:07,170 --> 00:53:09,093
- Cover of "People," babe.
1025
00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:13,247
- You did it, Frank, you made me famous.
1026
00:53:14,670 --> 00:53:16,440
- Then why so sad?
1027
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:19,593
- I just wish my family could
have lived to see my success.
1028
00:53:20,460 --> 00:53:24,900
- Yeah, right, look, (snaps)
I have a little business
1029
00:53:24,900 --> 00:53:26,910
we have to take care of.
1030
00:53:26,910 --> 00:53:27,743
- Sign here.
1031
00:53:27,743 --> 00:53:29,880
- [Frank] Norma and I had
a firm handshake agreement,
1032
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:33,300
which I backed up with an
even firmer 80 page contract,
1033
00:53:33,300 --> 00:53:35,643
giving me exclusive
rights to her life story.
1034
00:53:36,637 --> 00:53:37,950
- Oh, I miss you, Frank.
1035
00:53:37,950 --> 00:53:40,140
- It won't be long now, baby,
1036
00:53:40,140 --> 00:53:43,050
just the formality of
beating a multiple murder rap
1037
00:53:43,050 --> 00:53:44,550
with special circumstances.
1038
00:53:44,550 --> 00:53:46,140
- I can't wait.
1039
00:53:46,140 --> 00:53:50,010
I just get so horny being
cooped up here all alone.
1040
00:53:50,010 --> 00:53:51,267
At night, I just lie on my cot
1041
00:53:51,267 --> 00:53:54,217
and I just think of all the
things I could be doing to you,
1042
00:53:55,170 --> 00:53:58,160
things like. (whispers)
(slow music)
1043
00:53:59,692 --> 00:54:02,192
(Frank gulps)
1044
00:54:08,117 --> 00:54:11,371
- Next time, I'll bring a squeegee.
1045
00:54:11,371 --> 00:54:15,120
(slow jazzy music)
1046
00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:16,740
She was the only woman I ever met
1047
00:54:16,740 --> 00:54:19,140
who could French kiss
through bulletproof glass.
1048
00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:25,370
(taser crackles)
1049
00:54:25,370 --> 00:54:26,203
(group chattering)
1050
00:54:26,203 --> 00:54:28,613
- [Officer] Just stay back,
please, everyone stand back.
1051
00:54:28,613 --> 00:54:30,420
This is your last warning.
1052
00:54:30,420 --> 00:54:32,853
There are absolutely no visitors.
1053
00:54:32,853 --> 00:54:36,090
(group chattering)
1054
00:54:36,090 --> 00:54:37,860
- Hey, how could Musso gets through?
1055
00:54:37,860 --> 00:54:40,800
- Tough luck, losers, this is my project,
1056
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:44,523
so slither back into your
leased imports and hit the road.
1057
00:54:45,445 --> 00:54:48,756
It's Musso by two lengths.
(group chattering)
1058
00:54:48,756 --> 00:54:51,453
- Frank, how'd you do it,
how'd you move in so fast?
1059
00:54:52,290 --> 00:54:55,170
- Well, let's just say
I've always had a nose
1060
00:54:55,170 --> 00:54:58,140
for a good story, but don't worry, Farrit,
1061
00:54:58,140 --> 00:55:01,590
you still have "The Allison Shoop Story."
1062
00:55:01,590 --> 00:55:02,490
Who is that again?
1063
00:55:02,490 --> 00:55:07,490
It was in the news so long
ago, I forgot. (laughs)
1064
00:55:07,860 --> 00:55:09,690
Get out of here, all of you.
1065
00:55:09,690 --> 00:55:11,975
Hearse chasers, carrion birds.
1066
00:55:11,975 --> 00:55:12,808
(phone rings)
1067
00:55:12,808 --> 00:55:14,216
- [Speaker] Oh, yeah,
that's me, must be mine.
1068
00:55:14,216 --> 00:55:15,782
- [Speaker] Hello, hello?
(phone rings)
1069
00:55:15,782 --> 00:55:16,830
- [Speaker] Hey, hello?
(group chattering)
1070
00:55:16,830 --> 00:55:21,240
- It's for me, Frank
Musso Productions, who?
1071
00:55:21,240 --> 00:55:24,951
Yes, I'll hold for Kim Frost.
1072
00:55:24,951 --> 00:55:27,868
(group chattering)
1073
00:55:29,128 --> 00:55:30,450
Kimbela.
1074
00:55:30,450 --> 00:55:33,990
So suddenly, the name Musso
was back in Kim's Rolodex.
1075
00:55:33,990 --> 00:55:36,360
I had her by the balls and she knew it.
1076
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:38,910
I squeezed until Cinderella was green lit
1077
00:55:38,910 --> 00:55:40,410
and on the fast track.
1078
00:55:40,410 --> 00:55:43,080
- [Noble] Musso, wait up there, amigo-
1079
00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:44,923
- Noble, what are you doing here?
1080
00:55:44,923 --> 00:55:46,710
- I just jawboned the DA
1081
00:55:46,710 --> 00:55:49,380
into accepting second
degree manslaughter, huh?
1082
00:55:49,380 --> 00:55:50,430
- What are you saying?
1083
00:55:50,430 --> 00:55:53,910
- Saying even if our little
girl is guilty as sin,
1084
00:55:53,910 --> 00:55:56,940
she'll be out in a year, no trial.
1085
00:55:56,940 --> 00:55:58,950
- Are you out of your mind?
1086
00:55:58,950 --> 00:56:01,200
The trial is my whole third act.
1087
00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:03,690
You can't end the miniseries
on a plea bargain.
1088
00:56:03,690 --> 00:56:05,820
- Musso, you're blurring the line
1089
00:56:05,820 --> 00:56:08,220
between reality and fantasy a bit.
1090
00:56:08,220 --> 00:56:09,053
- Wake up!
1091
00:56:10,740 --> 00:56:13,380
Wake up, Noble, everything
is show business now.
1092
00:56:13,380 --> 00:56:16,650
I've already hired writers
to work on Norma's testimony.
1093
00:56:16,650 --> 00:56:19,530
- You mean you want to put
that child on the stand?
1094
00:56:19,530 --> 00:56:22,380
Shouldn't she be making
that decision for herself?
1095
00:56:22,380 --> 00:56:24,540
- Well, Tex, her last decision was
1096
00:56:24,540 --> 00:56:26,280
to wipe out her entire family.
1097
00:56:26,280 --> 00:56:27,600
You want to leave that to her?
1098
00:56:27,600 --> 00:56:28,433
- Hmm.
1099
00:56:29,850 --> 00:56:30,683
(upbeat music)
1100
00:56:30,683 --> 00:56:32,700
- [Frank] I hired Shag
Hooker, Emmy winning creator
1101
00:56:32,700 --> 00:56:35,640
of "LA DA" to write Norma's dialogue.
1102
00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:38,550
If it played well in the trial,
we'd use it in the movie.
1103
00:56:38,550 --> 00:56:40,170
And Kim Frost insisted I hire
1104
00:56:40,170 --> 00:56:43,691
Carrie Fisher's half sister
Libby to give it a female pass.
1105
00:56:43,691 --> 00:56:46,524
(baby cries)
1106
00:56:46,524 --> 00:56:47,357
(audience applauds)
1107
00:56:47,357 --> 00:56:49,290
Then we took Norma's
testimony on the road,
1108
00:56:49,290 --> 00:56:51,090
trying it out in front of focus groups
1109
00:56:51,090 --> 00:56:53,820
with my personal friend,
actress Charlene Tilton.
1110
00:56:53,820 --> 00:56:56,583
- All I know is I couldn't
take the abuse any longer.
1111
00:56:57,480 --> 00:57:00,243
That night, something
inside me just snapped.
1112
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:03,843
I needed to take back control of my life.
1113
00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:06,910
I needed to feel (cries) empowered.
1114
00:57:09,517 --> 00:57:10,350
(audience applauds)
1115
00:57:10,350 --> 00:57:11,183
- [Audience Member] Wonderful!
1116
00:57:11,183 --> 00:57:12,260
(audience cheers)
1117
00:57:12,260 --> 00:57:15,055
- [Audience Member] We love you, Charlene!
1118
00:57:15,055 --> 00:57:17,100
- [Audience Member] Brilliant!
1119
00:57:17,100 --> 00:57:17,933
(upbeat music)
1120
00:57:17,933 --> 00:57:18,766
- [Audience Member] She's incredible,
1121
00:57:18,766 --> 00:57:20,816
she's definitely innocent, so believable.
1122
00:57:22,050 --> 00:57:24,720
- Great work, guys, 92% for acquittal.
1123
00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:26,553
We're ready for the big time.
1124
00:57:29,381 --> 00:57:32,500
(upbeat music)
(group chattering)
1125
00:57:32,500 --> 00:57:35,040
When the big day arrived, it
was a full-blown media circus,
1126
00:57:35,040 --> 00:57:36,720
and I was the ringmaster,
1127
00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:40,560
and all the profits were going
straight to numero Musso.
1128
00:57:40,560 --> 00:57:41,955
- [Speaker] One red shoe,
1129
00:57:41,955 --> 00:57:43,559
one Norma Jean red shoe, right here.
1130
00:57:43,559 --> 00:57:44,392
(Frank whistles)
1131
00:57:44,392 --> 00:57:45,330
- [Frank] There they were, the con men,
1132
00:57:45,330 --> 00:57:47,973
the hucksters, the grifters, the leeches.
1133
00:57:49,265 --> 00:57:50,098
- [Speaker] Idiot.
1134
00:57:50,098 --> 00:57:50,931
- [Frank] My kind of people.
1135
00:57:50,931 --> 00:57:51,930
(group chattering)
1136
00:57:51,930 --> 00:57:53,570
- [Protestor] Remember the victim!
1137
00:57:53,570 --> 00:57:54,594
- [Protestors] Free Norma Jean!
1138
00:57:54,594 --> 00:57:57,780
- Remember the victim!
- Free Norma Jean!
1139
00:57:57,780 --> 00:57:59,367
- Get the hell out of here!
1140
00:57:59,367 --> 00:58:03,210
Man, there's always some
clown to rain on your parade.
1141
00:58:03,210 --> 00:58:05,490
- [Protestors] Free Norma
Jean, free Norma Jean!
1142
00:58:05,490 --> 00:58:06,750
- [Frank] I hired the best makeup,
1143
00:58:06,750 --> 00:58:10,380
hair, and costume people to
work on Norma's trial face.
1144
00:58:10,380 --> 00:58:13,230
- I am not wearing that, it looks geeky.
1145
00:58:13,230 --> 00:58:14,880
I want my red dress!
1146
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:15,713
- [Assistant] A bitch.
1147
00:58:15,713 --> 00:58:16,546
- [Assistant] Come on.
1148
00:58:16,546 --> 00:58:18,600
- Focus groups hated the red dress.
1149
00:58:18,600 --> 00:58:20,250
They thought only a guilty slut
1150
00:58:20,250 --> 00:58:21,700
would wear a dress like that.
1151
00:58:22,860 --> 00:58:25,113
- Fine, I'll get it myself.
1152
00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:29,403
- And no smoking until this is over.
1153
00:58:30,727 --> 00:58:32,220
- "Don't do this, don't do that."
1154
00:58:32,220 --> 00:58:34,740
Jesus, you sound like my stepmother.
1155
00:58:34,740 --> 00:58:38,250
- Don't get any ideas, babe,
I sleep in asbestos underwear.
1156
00:58:38,250 --> 00:58:41,610
Now, do as I say and you'll
walk out of here a free woman
1157
00:58:41,610 --> 00:58:44,610
and into a $6 million book deal,
1158
00:58:44,610 --> 00:58:46,953
which of course we'll split 50 50.
1159
00:58:48,210 --> 00:58:49,710
- Five minutes, Ms. Hazelrigg.
1160
00:58:52,110 --> 00:58:53,763
- The gum, spit.
1161
00:58:57,339 --> 00:58:58,555
(Frank laughs)
1162
00:58:58,555 --> 00:59:01,722
(slow dramatic music)
1163
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:05,190
- Good afternoon, we are back with day one
1164
00:59:05,190 --> 00:59:07,650
of the People Vs. Norma Jean Hazelrigg.
1165
00:59:07,650 --> 00:59:09,680
Now, earlier this morning,
the District Attorney
1166
00:59:09,680 --> 00:59:13,440
in his opening statement
presented a devastating portrait
1167
00:59:13,440 --> 00:59:16,830
of Norma Jean Hazelrigg
as a remorseless killer.
1168
00:59:16,830 --> 00:59:19,650
Now, for the defense, Attorney
Noble Hart is getting ready
1169
00:59:19,650 --> 00:59:21,270
to address the jury.
1170
00:59:21,270 --> 00:59:23,880
- [Frank] So here we were, opening day.
1171
00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:25,560
I convinced Brian Keith to fly in
1172
00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:27,960
to immerse himself in
the role of Noble Hart,
1173
00:59:27,960 --> 00:59:30,000
and at his own expense.
1174
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:33,060
Nice guy, but I started
to think if I dumped Keith
1175
00:59:33,060 --> 00:59:34,620
and hired Tommy Lee Jones,
1176
00:59:34,620 --> 00:59:36,827
I can open theatrically
in foreign markets.
1177
00:59:36,827 --> 00:59:37,660
(gavel bangs)
1178
00:59:37,660 --> 00:59:38,943
- You may proceed, Mr. Hart.
1179
00:59:39,780 --> 00:59:41,253
- Thank you, your honor.
1180
00:59:42,300 --> 00:59:44,403
Now, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
1181
00:59:46,380 --> 00:59:51,380
after listening to opposing
counsel's impassioned remarks,
1182
00:59:51,780 --> 00:59:53,820
I don't think I'd blame any one member
1183
00:59:53,820 --> 00:59:57,690
of this jury if you just decided
to forget about the trial,
1184
00:59:57,690 --> 01:00:00,251
string my client up in the town square.
1185
01:00:00,251 --> 01:00:03,570
(group laughs)
1186
01:00:03,570 --> 01:00:06,000
- [Frank] Noble had the jury
in the palm of his hand,
1187
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:06,833
and he should have,
1188
01:00:06,833 --> 01:00:09,150
his dialogue was costing me $1,000 a word.
1189
01:00:09,150 --> 01:00:12,860
- However, before you go
and build her gallows high,
1190
01:00:12,860 --> 01:00:15,120
(slow orchestral music)
1191
01:00:15,120 --> 01:00:16,050
let me, if I may,
1192
01:00:16,050 --> 01:00:21,050
introduce you to the real
Norma Jean Hazelrigg.
1193
01:00:23,659 --> 01:00:26,409
(doors creaking)
1194
01:00:28,800 --> 01:00:30,558
- [Audience Member] She's just a baby.
1195
01:00:30,558 --> 01:00:35,558
(group chattering)
(slow music continues)
1196
01:00:41,388 --> 01:00:44,939
- Come on over here, just sit down there.
1197
01:00:44,939 --> 01:00:47,580
Take your seat like a good girl.
1198
01:00:47,580 --> 01:00:50,400
Now, ladies and gentlemen, I want y'all
1199
01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:55,400
to ask yourselves if this
couldn't be your own child,
1200
01:00:56,820 --> 01:01:01,113
frightened, lonely, confused.
1201
01:01:02,250 --> 01:01:04,713
Now, out of respect
for your sensibilities,
1202
01:01:05,550 --> 01:01:08,733
I'm not gonna catalog
all the horrible things-
1203
01:01:08,733 --> 01:01:09,990
- Love the trial, Frank.
1204
01:01:09,990 --> 01:01:12,635
It's got "not guilty" written all over it.
1205
01:01:12,635 --> 01:01:15,120
- [Frank] Farrit, that little suck up,
1206
01:01:15,120 --> 01:01:16,710
what was he hanging around for?
1207
01:01:16,710 --> 01:01:18,030
- Mr. Keith, Todd Farrit,
1208
01:01:18,030 --> 01:01:20,970
Bashful Ben Productions, love your work.
1209
01:01:20,970 --> 01:01:25,802
Hey, I grew up on "Family
Affair," well, reruns.
1210
01:01:25,802 --> 01:01:28,263
- The deprivations and the insults,
1211
01:01:29,340 --> 01:01:32,250
but I'd rather save you that pain-
1212
01:01:32,250 --> 01:01:35,100
- Hey, hey, I just had a crazy idea.
1213
01:01:35,100 --> 01:01:36,690
You would be perfect for this MOW
1214
01:01:36,690 --> 01:01:39,690
I'm doing over at Fox,
could be a backdoor pilot.
1215
01:01:39,690 --> 01:01:41,070
You'd play this country doctor
1216
01:01:41,070 --> 01:01:43,560
who becomes the head of
Disease Control in Atlanta.
1217
01:01:43,560 --> 01:01:46,050
Every week, you're tracking
down a mutant virus.
1218
01:01:46,050 --> 01:01:49,170
It's "Columbo" meets "Outbreak."
1219
01:01:49,170 --> 01:01:50,967
- He doesn't do episodic anymore,
1220
01:01:50,967 --> 01:01:52,710
and you should be ashamed of yourself,
1221
01:01:52,710 --> 01:01:54,180
working a murder trial.
1222
01:01:54,180 --> 01:01:56,400
Think of the victims.
(group chattering)
1223
01:01:56,400 --> 01:01:57,483
- Quiet over there.
1224
01:01:59,940 --> 01:02:04,136
- Sorry, sorry.
(group chattering)
1225
01:02:04,136 --> 01:02:05,843
- [Judge] You may proceed, Mr. Hart.
1226
01:02:07,350 --> 01:02:08,725
- [Noble] And so.
1227
01:02:08,725 --> 01:02:09,558
- Shh!
1228
01:02:10,530 --> 01:02:12,480
- I'll catch up to you during recess.
1229
01:02:12,480 --> 01:02:14,040
- Right.
1230
01:02:14,040 --> 01:02:17,433
- Finally, my friends,
when all hope was gone,
1231
01:02:18,630 --> 01:02:22,533
when every avenue of
recourse was closed to her,
1232
01:02:24,690 --> 01:02:27,723
that little girl struck out bravely.
1233
01:02:28,710 --> 01:02:33,508
She struck out against evil.
(slow orchestral music)
1234
01:02:33,508 --> 01:02:34,620
(jury member cries)
1235
01:02:34,620 --> 01:02:36,720
That's why I know deep in my heart
1236
01:02:36,720 --> 01:02:41,340
that you 12 good people
are gonna be speaking
1237
01:02:41,340 --> 01:02:44,043
for all of us when you say to her,
1238
01:02:44,977 --> 01:02:46,053
"Norma Jean,
1239
01:02:47,250 --> 01:02:51,073
we forgive you and find you not guilty."
1240
01:02:53,513 --> 01:02:56,430
(group chattering)
1241
01:02:58,742 --> 01:02:59,575
Thank you.
1242
01:03:01,651 --> 01:03:04,050
There you are, darling,
you give it a good blow.
1243
01:03:04,050 --> 01:03:04,883
- Thank you. (cries)
1244
01:03:04,883 --> 01:03:06,930
- Another eloquent opening statement
1245
01:03:06,930 --> 01:03:10,440
from the old Texas longhorn
himself, Noble Hart.
1246
01:03:10,440 --> 01:03:12,420
Right now, we're gonna
talk to our trial experts,
1247
01:03:12,420 --> 01:03:14,550
former prosecutor Robert Philibosian,
1248
01:03:14,550 --> 01:03:17,370
and Robert, how would you
rate Noble Hart's opening?
1249
01:03:17,370 --> 01:03:20,160
- Well, nobody connects
with a jury like Noble Hart.
1250
01:03:20,160 --> 01:03:23,130
He did what he had to
do, portraying his client
1251
01:03:23,130 --> 01:03:26,820
as a victimized child
with no place to turn.
1252
01:03:26,820 --> 01:03:29,160
Today was a clear victory for the defense,
1253
01:03:29,160 --> 01:03:31,560
and the prosecution must be reeling.
1254
01:03:31,560 --> 01:03:33,480
- Okay, we're gonna go now to Los Angeles,
1255
01:03:33,480 --> 01:03:34,710
Attorney Gloria Allred.
1256
01:03:34,710 --> 01:03:36,240
Gloria, how would you rate Hart's opening?
1257
01:03:36,240 --> 01:03:37,890
- It was all smoke and mirrors.
1258
01:03:37,890 --> 01:03:40,380
He's asking the jury to acquit this woman
1259
01:03:40,380 --> 01:03:44,370
after she murdered her whole
family in cold blood, why?
1260
01:03:44,370 --> 01:03:47,160
Because they made her do the dishes?
1261
01:03:47,160 --> 01:03:49,470
What kind of message are we sending here?
1262
01:03:49,470 --> 01:03:52,320
- Gloria, I was merely commenting
on the defense's style-
1263
01:03:52,320 --> 01:03:56,070
- So am I, and it was sleazy.
1264
01:03:56,070 --> 01:03:59,220
- Thank you very much, Gloria
Allred and Robert Philibosian.
1265
01:03:59,220 --> 01:04:00,600
You've certainly put opening day
1266
01:04:00,600 --> 01:04:03,690
in crystal clear perspective.
1267
01:04:03,690 --> 01:04:04,890
They've just called a recess,
1268
01:04:04,890 --> 01:04:06,750
so we're actually gonna cut
to New York where the trial
1269
01:04:06,750 --> 01:04:10,500
of alleged terrorist Sheik
Abdul Achmed is in full swing,
1270
01:04:10,500 --> 01:04:12,600
and what's interesting about this trial is
1271
01:04:12,600 --> 01:04:14,940
you'll notice the blind cleric is serving
1272
01:04:14,940 --> 01:04:16,293
as his own counsel.
1273
01:04:18,740 --> 01:04:20,820
(Abdul speaking in foreign language)
1274
01:04:20,820 --> 01:04:22,424
- Isn't it true, officer?
1275
01:04:22,424 --> 01:04:25,440
(Abdul speaking in foreign language)
1276
01:04:25,440 --> 01:04:26,411
- That.
1277
01:04:26,411 --> 01:04:28,841
(Abdul speaking in foreign language)
1278
01:04:28,841 --> 01:04:30,634
- You planted that bomb that framed me?
1279
01:04:30,634 --> 01:04:32,370
(group chattering)
1280
01:04:32,370 --> 01:04:34,376
- Hey, sit down or I'll clear this court.
1281
01:04:34,376 --> 01:04:36,744
- No, sir, it isn't.
1282
01:04:36,744 --> 01:04:41,161
(Abdul speaking in foreign language)
1283
01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:44,936
- You expect the jury to believe
1284
01:04:44,936 --> 01:04:48,243
that you just found the evidence?
1285
01:04:48,243 --> 01:04:50,760
(group chattering)
1286
01:04:50,760 --> 01:04:51,784
- Yeah, I do.
1287
01:04:51,784 --> 01:04:54,295
(group chattering)
1288
01:04:54,295 --> 01:04:55,128
(Abdul speaking in foreign language)
1289
01:04:55,128 --> 01:04:58,081
- Well, fine, may 1,000 criminals fall
1290
01:04:58,081 --> 01:05:00,086
on your bed and writhe.
1291
01:05:00,086 --> 01:05:00,919
(upbeat music)
1292
01:05:00,919 --> 01:05:03,150
- The trial was a ratings bonanza,
1293
01:05:03,150 --> 01:05:06,333
and Norma, she was becoming
a one woman industry.
1294
01:05:07,410 --> 01:05:09,513
There were books,
1295
01:05:10,500 --> 01:05:11,403
calendars,
1296
01:05:14,520 --> 01:05:16,863
exercise tapes,
1297
01:05:18,660 --> 01:05:21,063
compact discs,
1298
01:05:22,440 --> 01:05:23,643
collector's plates,
1299
01:05:26,100 --> 01:05:26,933
cologne,
1300
01:05:29,243 --> 01:05:31,410
and all the proceeds were being funneled
1301
01:05:31,410 --> 01:05:34,353
to the Christmas fund at banco de Musso.
1302
01:05:36,180 --> 01:05:39,300
Unfortunately, I was so busy
guarding the golden eggs,
1303
01:05:39,300 --> 01:05:42,936
I may have been neglecting the goose.
1304
01:05:42,936 --> 01:05:45,420
Oh, oh, oh. (laughs)
1305
01:05:45,420 --> 01:05:48,753
Thank you, Malene, but
next time, more hundreds.
1306
01:05:50,006 --> 01:05:52,344
(phone rings)
1307
01:05:52,344 --> 01:05:53,594
Coming, coming.
1308
01:05:55,941 --> 01:05:57,690
(phone rings)
1309
01:05:57,690 --> 01:05:59,520
Musso Productions.
1310
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:00,510
- Frank.
1311
01:06:00,510 --> 01:06:04,100
- Oh, hi, Norma, how
are they treating you?
1312
01:06:04,100 --> 01:06:06,870
- We were supposed to have
our conjugal visit tonight.
1313
01:06:06,870 --> 01:06:08,043
- Was that tonight?
1314
01:06:09,030 --> 01:06:10,410
I am sorry, babe,
1315
01:06:10,410 --> 01:06:13,470
I am in a meeting right
now with the network.
1316
01:06:13,470 --> 01:06:15,180
Kim says hi.
1317
01:06:15,180 --> 01:06:16,173
- Are you sure?
1318
01:06:18,226 --> 01:06:19,740
'Cause I don't know if
I trust you anymore.
1319
01:06:19,740 --> 01:06:21,450
You haven't been coming
around much lately.
1320
01:06:21,450 --> 01:06:25,080
- You are never out of
my thoughts, Cinderella.
1321
01:06:25,080 --> 01:06:27,150
Look, I'll be up to see you tomorrow.
1322
01:06:27,150 --> 01:06:29,433
Meanwhile, learn your testimony.
1323
01:06:31,990 --> 01:06:33,735
(Norma sighs)
1324
01:06:33,735 --> 01:06:35,640
(slow music)
1325
01:06:35,640 --> 01:06:39,633
- Come on in, the currency is fine.
1326
01:06:42,967 --> 01:06:44,580
(glasses clinking)
1327
01:06:44,580 --> 01:06:46,326
- Visitor, Norma.
1328
01:06:46,326 --> 01:06:49,409
(slow ominous music)
1329
01:06:59,040 --> 01:07:00,450
- You know, I really shouldn't be talking
1330
01:07:00,450 --> 01:07:03,420
to another producer, Mr. Farrit,
1331
01:07:03,420 --> 01:07:04,890
but I guess I got nothing else to do,
1332
01:07:04,890 --> 01:07:08,280
since Frank's meeting with
a network executive tonight.
1333
01:07:08,280 --> 01:07:11,077
- Well, you're close, Norma,
he's meeting with a hooker.
1334
01:07:11,077 --> 01:07:12,720
- A hooker, Frank?
1335
01:07:12,720 --> 01:07:14,730
He'd never pay for it, he's too cheap.
1336
01:07:14,730 --> 01:07:16,230
- Yeah, well, he's had a sudden increase
1337
01:07:16,230 --> 01:07:18,753
in income lately because of you.
1338
01:07:20,160 --> 01:07:21,930
- I don't believe it.
1339
01:07:21,930 --> 01:07:25,950
I'm in prison and my man is
two timing me with a tramp.
1340
01:07:25,950 --> 01:07:27,720
I feel like a Tammy Wynette song.
1341
01:07:27,720 --> 01:07:30,550
Frank and I are supposed
to be partners, 50 50.
1342
01:07:30,550 --> 01:07:33,873
- Mm-hmm, yeah, and that's 50
for Frank and 50 for Musso.
1343
01:07:35,107 --> 01:07:37,290
Hey, Norma, you ever hear
of the Son of Sam Law?
1344
01:07:37,290 --> 01:07:38,280
- What's that?
1345
01:07:38,280 --> 01:07:39,480
- It's a law in this state that says
1346
01:07:39,480 --> 01:07:43,800
if you're convicted of a crime,
you can't profit from it,
1347
01:07:43,800 --> 01:07:46,350
which means your half will go to Frank.
1348
01:07:46,350 --> 01:07:48,950
- But Frank worked it out
so I'm gonna be acquitted.
1349
01:07:49,950 --> 01:07:51,750
- Frank is also meeting
with a network executive.
1350
01:07:51,750 --> 01:07:53,730
- You mean I'm gonna rot in this prison
1351
01:07:53,730 --> 01:07:56,610
for the rest of my life while
Frank spends all my money?
1352
01:07:56,610 --> 01:07:58,337
Those murders were my idea.
1353
01:07:58,337 --> 01:08:00,420
- Norma, Norma, keep your voice down.
1354
01:08:01,690 --> 01:08:04,110
Look, you do as I say and
I'll get you your acquittal
1355
01:08:04,110 --> 01:08:09,110
and all the profits, less a
modest fee for my own services.
1356
01:08:10,200 --> 01:08:11,190
- And what about Frank?
1357
01:08:11,190 --> 01:08:13,350
- Hey, there's always
a little blood spilled
1358
01:08:13,350 --> 01:08:16,383
on these deals, so this
time, it's Musso's.
1359
01:08:19,440 --> 01:08:22,293
- You know, Todd,
1360
01:08:23,700 --> 01:08:25,550
you're really starting to grow on me.
1361
01:08:26,910 --> 01:08:30,030
Why, I bet tonight when I'm
lying all alone in my cot,
1362
01:08:30,030 --> 01:08:31,860
I'll be thinking about you,
1363
01:08:31,860 --> 01:08:33,870
about all the things
that we can do together
1364
01:08:33,870 --> 01:08:38,870
when I get out of here,
things like. (whispers)
1365
01:08:43,343 --> 01:08:45,093
And after that.
1366
01:08:46,170 --> 01:08:47,790
- All right, here's what we have to do.
1367
01:08:47,790 --> 01:08:52,320
- The defense calls Norma Jean Hazelrigg.
1368
01:08:52,320 --> 01:08:54,870
(door creaks)
(group chattering)
1369
01:08:54,870 --> 01:08:58,470
- [Frank] Well, this was
it, el momento de verdad.
1370
01:08:58,470 --> 01:09:00,900
If Norma turned in a good
performance on the stand,
1371
01:09:00,900 --> 01:09:02,520
we'd have the happy ending Kim Frost
1372
01:09:02,520 --> 01:09:04,680
and the network were demanding.
1373
01:09:04,680 --> 01:09:06,000
- Do you swear to tell the truth,
1374
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:09,900
the whole truth, and nothing
but the truth, so help you God?
1375
01:09:09,900 --> 01:09:10,743
- I do.
1376
01:09:12,150 --> 01:09:13,033
I really do.
1377
01:09:13,963 --> 01:09:15,595
- [Audience Members] Aww.
1378
01:09:15,595 --> 01:09:18,012
(slow music)
1379
01:09:20,067 --> 01:09:25,067
- And Norma Jean, was there one birthday
1380
01:09:25,440 --> 01:09:26,850
that sticks in your mind
1381
01:09:26,850 --> 01:09:29,943
as having been particularly traumatic?
1382
01:09:30,780 --> 01:09:31,613
- Yes, sir.
1383
01:09:35,190 --> 01:09:36,963
That would be my 10th birthday.
1384
01:09:37,920 --> 01:09:39,750
My stepmother told me I wasn't blood kin,
1385
01:09:39,750 --> 01:09:41,880
so I didn't deserve a birthday party,
1386
01:09:41,880 --> 01:09:45,863
but Frieda had a party,
a big one every year.
1387
01:09:45,863 --> 01:09:47,610
(group chattering)
1388
01:09:47,610 --> 01:09:51,120
- [Frank] Right on cue,
Norma came off as sincere,
1389
01:09:51,120 --> 01:09:54,120
honest, and innocent, the kid could act.
1390
01:09:54,120 --> 01:09:57,570
- And tell us, how long
did she keep you locked up
1391
01:09:57,570 --> 01:10:00,093
in that cold, damp closet?
1392
01:10:01,170 --> 01:10:04,050
- Oh, I can't remember. (cries)
1393
01:10:04,050 --> 01:10:06,280
Is July the month with 31 days?
1394
01:10:07,470 --> 01:10:12,470
- Oh.
(group chattering)
1395
01:10:12,840 --> 01:10:17,310
Now, Norma Jean, you have
always maintained right
1396
01:10:17,310 --> 01:10:21,270
from the beginning that you, a minor,
1397
01:10:21,270 --> 01:10:24,753
acted alone on that
night of April the 16th.
1398
01:10:25,770 --> 01:10:28,920
Was that the God's honest truth, child?
1399
01:10:28,920 --> 01:10:31,743
And remember, you're under a sacred oath.
1400
01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:36,870
- No, it's not true.
(slow dramatic music)
1401
01:10:36,870 --> 01:10:38,760
- [Frank] Where was this
new dialogue coming from?
1402
01:10:38,760 --> 01:10:39,750
It wasn't in the script.
1403
01:10:39,750 --> 01:10:43,050
- Are you telling this court
that you had an accomplice,
1404
01:10:43,050 --> 01:10:45,720
a real mastermind of this crime?
1405
01:10:45,720 --> 01:10:47,250
- Yes, sir, I am.
1406
01:10:47,250 --> 01:10:50,370
- Oh, don't shield him any longer, child.
1407
01:10:50,370 --> 01:10:51,540
He can't hurt you now.
1408
01:10:51,540 --> 01:10:55,170
- It was Frank Musso, he
made me kill my family.
1409
01:10:55,170 --> 01:10:56,843
I didn't want to do it, but he forced me.
1410
01:10:56,843 --> 01:10:58,860
- [Frank] Why was Norma doing this?
1411
01:10:58,860 --> 01:11:01,143
I didn't have to look
very far for an answer.
1412
01:11:02,250 --> 01:11:05,853
Farrit, of course, who
did he think he was, me?
1413
01:11:07,482 --> 01:11:08,315
- [Audience Member] Stop him.
1414
01:11:08,315 --> 01:11:09,661
- Bailiff, detain that man!
1415
01:11:09,661 --> 01:11:10,494
- [Audience Member] Get him.
1416
01:11:10,494 --> 01:11:13,590
- [Frank] Now it all added up
and I didn't like that math.
1417
01:11:13,590 --> 01:11:16,260
Ferrit must have cut Noble
in for a piece of the action,
1418
01:11:16,260 --> 01:11:18,150
but the producer in me had to admit,
1419
01:11:18,150 --> 01:11:19,440
it was a hell of a plot twist.
1420
01:11:19,440 --> 01:11:20,523
- Frank, wait.
1421
01:11:23,010 --> 01:11:24,243
I'm sorry, Frank.
1422
01:11:25,099 --> 01:11:27,303
Farrit just made the numbers work.
1423
01:11:28,890 --> 01:11:30,810
- Hey, it's a career move.
(slow orchestral music)
1424
01:11:30,810 --> 01:11:32,460
I'd had done the same thing.
1425
01:11:32,460 --> 01:11:35,310
Oh, and Noble, Brian Keith
is much better looking.
1426
01:11:35,310 --> 01:11:36,360
- [Bailiff] Let's go.
1427
01:11:37,530 --> 01:11:40,623
- Frank, you know, the funny thing is,
1428
01:11:41,490 --> 01:11:43,470
I've always loved you.
1429
01:11:43,470 --> 01:11:44,373
- Funny thing is,
1430
01:11:46,620 --> 01:11:47,453
I believe it.
1431
01:11:47,453 --> 01:11:48,286
- [Speaker] Get him out of here.
1432
01:11:48,286 --> 01:11:49,119
- [Speaker] Come on.
1433
01:11:49,119 --> 01:11:50,433
- Cover people, Frank.
1434
01:11:52,110 --> 01:11:53,520
- Cover up people, babe.
1435
01:11:53,520 --> 01:11:54,563
- [Bailiff] Let's go.
1436
01:11:56,974 --> 01:11:58,077
(door slams)
1437
01:11:58,077 --> 01:12:00,266
- [Prisoner] Hey, hey,
excuse me, excuse me.
1438
01:12:00,266 --> 01:12:02,667
I got something for you, man, hey, hey.
1439
01:12:03,912 --> 01:12:06,745
(thunder rumbles)
1440
01:12:07,920 --> 01:12:10,590
- You can guess the next plot point.
1441
01:12:10,590 --> 01:12:13,773
Norma was acquitted and I took the fall.
1442
01:12:15,090 --> 01:12:19,383
She pleaded psychological abuse
that I had brainwashed her.
1443
01:12:20,820 --> 01:12:23,460
It's kind of funny, I
got into this whole thing
1444
01:12:23,460 --> 01:12:26,097
because I saw a sign that said, "free,"
1445
01:12:27,030 --> 01:12:29,370
and now I'll never be free again.
1446
01:12:29,370 --> 01:12:31,650
(thunder rumbles)
1447
01:12:31,650 --> 01:12:34,050
- Well, son, it's time.
1448
01:12:34,050 --> 01:12:38,133
- Yeah, father, I guess
there's no putting it off.
1449
01:12:42,727 --> 01:12:44,760
- [Announcer] "Boosler,"
starring Elaine Boosler
1450
01:12:44,760 --> 01:12:47,220
and "Crime: He Taught,"
starring Pat Morita,
1451
01:12:47,220 --> 01:12:48,510
will not be seen tonight
1452
01:12:48,510 --> 01:12:51,393
so that we may bring you the
follow special presentation.
1453
01:12:52,440 --> 01:12:54,900
- [Announcer] Tonight,
the trial of the century
1454
01:12:54,900 --> 01:12:57,510
becomes the miniseries of the millennium,
1455
01:12:57,510 --> 01:13:00,270
the story that set America on fire.
1456
01:13:00,270 --> 01:13:04,350
Now, Charlene Tilton is
Norma Jean Hazelrigg.
1457
01:13:04,350 --> 01:13:08,160
- Please, Frank, I really love my family.
1458
01:13:08,160 --> 01:13:09,240
Don't make me do this
1459
01:13:09,240 --> 01:13:11,670
just so you can revive
your floundering career.
1460
01:13:11,670 --> 01:13:13,320
- Who says my career is floundering?
1461
01:13:13,320 --> 01:13:16,710
- [Announcer] Ed Marinaro
is the evil Frank Musso.
1462
01:13:16,710 --> 01:13:17,543
- Shut up.
1463
01:13:18,600 --> 01:13:21,633
Your step family has to
die so I can make my deal.
1464
01:13:23,940 --> 01:13:28,940
And if you don't kill them,
I'll kill you. (laughs)
1465
01:13:29,160 --> 01:13:30,900
- What am I, Joey Buttafuoco?
1466
01:13:30,900 --> 01:13:32,250
That's not the way it was, father.
1467
01:13:32,250 --> 01:13:34,260
Honest, it was her idea.
1468
01:13:34,260 --> 01:13:36,600
- [Announcer] With Robert
Culp as Attorney Noble Hart.
1469
01:13:36,600 --> 01:13:40,560
- Child, are you covering
for this Musso scoundrel?
1470
01:13:40,560 --> 01:13:42,180
- What happened to Brian Keith?
1471
01:13:42,180 --> 01:13:43,590
- His series got picked up.
1472
01:13:43,590 --> 01:13:46,920
- 'Cause darling, truth's like
a polecat in a gunny sack.
1473
01:13:46,920 --> 01:13:48,510
Sooner or later, it's gonna get out,
1474
01:13:48,510 --> 01:13:49,913
whether you want it to or not.
1475
01:13:49,913 --> 01:13:52,830
- I don't believe this corny dialogue.
1476
01:13:52,830 --> 01:13:54,000
- Oh, now, this is what I call
1477
01:13:54,000 --> 01:13:56,040
an attorney client relationship.
1478
01:13:56,040 --> 01:13:59,280
- [Announcer] Charlene Tilton, Ed Marinaro
1479
01:13:59,280 --> 01:14:02,940
in "Cinderella and the Beast."
1480
01:14:02,940 --> 01:14:04,980
- They don't have to execute me.
1481
01:14:04,980 --> 01:14:06,753
They're hanging me in primetime.
1482
01:14:09,060 --> 01:14:11,430
You know what really kills me, father?
1483
01:14:11,430 --> 01:14:14,730
Todd Farrit beat me out of my own movie.
1484
01:14:14,730 --> 01:14:17,080
That should have been a
Frank Musso production.
1485
01:14:18,420 --> 01:14:20,613
Now I'll never get another chance.
1486
01:14:22,247 --> 01:14:23,550
(thunder rumbles)
1487
01:14:23,550 --> 01:14:27,333
- Musso, here's the
menu for your last meal.
1488
01:14:30,060 --> 01:14:33,060
I recommend the Cajun crawfish.
1489
01:14:33,060 --> 01:14:35,660
- Spicy food always gives
me heartburn the next day.
1490
01:14:38,280 --> 01:14:40,833
What am I saying, I'll take the crawfish.
1491
01:14:42,210 --> 01:14:43,060
- It's good here.
1492
01:14:45,299 --> 01:14:47,737
(thunder rumbles)
1493
01:14:47,737 --> 01:14:48,570
- Hell!
1494
01:14:49,650 --> 01:14:52,680
On second thought, tell the
warden I changed my mind.
1495
01:14:52,680 --> 01:14:57,673
I don't want a last meal, I
want a last deal. (laughs)
1496
01:14:58,767 --> 01:14:59,600
(upbeat music)
1497
01:14:59,600 --> 01:15:01,320
- [Announcer] Live from death row,
1498
01:15:01,320 --> 01:15:05,790
pay-per-view proudly presents
the execution of Frank Musso,
1499
01:15:05,790 --> 01:15:07,350
a Frank Musso production.
1500
01:15:07,350 --> 01:15:09,510
Special guest stars, Tony Bennett,
1501
01:15:09,510 --> 01:15:12,930
Ms. Pia Zadora, the magic
of David Copperfield,
1502
01:15:12,930 --> 01:15:16,260
Cal Ripken, Jr., Salt n' Pepa,
1503
01:15:16,260 --> 01:15:19,140
Quentin Tarantino, iron Mike Tyson,
1504
01:15:19,140 --> 01:15:21,420
an inspirational message from
the Reverend Billy Graham,
1505
01:15:21,420 --> 01:15:24,963
Boyz II Men, and Brian Dennehy.
1506
01:15:26,223 --> 01:15:29,430
(upbeat orchestral music)
1507
01:15:29,430 --> 01:15:32,970
And now, in a special
final tribute to Frank,
1508
01:15:32,970 --> 01:15:36,167
direct from Broadway, Ms. Pia Zadora.
1509
01:15:38,027 --> 01:15:43,027
(slow orchestral music)
(audience cheers)
1510
01:15:46,157 --> 01:15:50,812
♪ Well, Frank, the moment's near ♪
1511
01:15:50,812 --> 01:15:55,812
♪ And, yes, I fear your
time's elapsed now ♪
1512
01:15:56,286 --> 01:16:01,214
♪ Yes, Frank, with one deep breath ♪
1513
01:16:01,214 --> 01:16:03,838
♪ You'll meet your death ♪
1514
01:16:03,838 --> 01:16:06,654
♪ When they pass the gas now ♪
1515
01:16:06,654 --> 01:16:11,259
♪ But still, you've had your fun ♪
1516
01:16:11,259 --> 01:16:14,236
♪ You're number one ♪
1517
01:16:14,236 --> 01:16:16,766
♪ From Maine to Norway ♪
1518
01:16:16,766 --> 01:16:19,373
♪ Where the pellets fall ♪
1519
01:16:19,373 --> 01:16:21,869
♪ You did it all ♪
1520
01:16:21,869 --> 01:16:25,036
♪ And did it your way ♪
1521
01:16:27,867 --> 01:16:29,790
Any last words, Frank?
1522
01:16:29,790 --> 01:16:31,270
- Top this, Farrit.
1523
01:16:33,467 --> 01:16:37,455
♪ You'll soon be dead ♪
1524
01:16:37,455 --> 01:16:40,156
♪ But you don't care ♪
1525
01:16:40,156 --> 01:16:45,156
♪ 'Cause you'll be dead with a 40 share ♪
1526
01:16:45,917 --> 01:16:48,827
♪ You took the fall now ♪
1527
01:16:48,827 --> 01:16:52,492
♪ But what a haul now ♪
1528
01:16:52,492 --> 01:16:57,492
♪ And you got it all now ♪
1529
01:16:57,629 --> 01:17:00,712
♪ And it's all Musso ♪
1530
01:17:07,835 --> 01:17:10,654
- [Announcer] Everyone
must leave the chamber.
1531
01:17:10,654 --> 01:17:12,357
Clear all doors and evacuate the chamber
1532
01:17:12,357 --> 01:17:14,507
for your own safety now, now.
1533
01:17:16,315 --> 01:17:19,898
(ominous orchestral music)
1534
01:17:23,546 --> 01:17:26,880
(Frank cackles)
1535
01:17:26,880 --> 01:17:30,600
- [Frank] Yeah, if I had to
go, I was gonna go out my way,
1536
01:17:30,600 --> 01:17:32,520
with the highest grossing
pay-per-view special
1537
01:17:32,520 --> 01:17:35,070
in cable history, 20 million domestic,
1538
01:17:35,070 --> 01:17:36,993
exclusive of foreign and video rights.
1539
01:17:39,618 --> 01:17:40,451
(slow music)
1540
01:17:40,451 --> 01:17:44,010
As for my funeral, let's
say it opened soft.
1541
01:17:44,010 --> 01:17:45,630
You see, I made the mistake of dying
1542
01:17:45,630 --> 01:17:48,330
on the Labor Day weekend,
which is traditionally slow.
1543
01:17:49,500 --> 01:17:52,290
Hey, look who's here, Ziggy Brillman.
1544
01:17:52,290 --> 01:17:54,540
I take back everything
I ever said about him.
1545
01:17:54,540 --> 01:17:55,840
The man is a mensch.
1546
01:17:55,840 --> 01:17:58,743
- Barry, look around.
1547
01:17:59,580 --> 01:18:01,530
Hey, what do you see?
1548
01:18:01,530 --> 01:18:02,490
- [Barry] Nobody, Grandpa.
1549
01:18:02,490 --> 01:18:06,090
- Exactly, I just wanted to show you
1550
01:18:06,090 --> 01:18:08,340
what kind of a send off you get
1551
01:18:08,340 --> 01:18:12,690
when you're a no-good ganef
like Musso, all right?
1552
01:18:12,690 --> 01:18:13,523
- Okay.
1553
01:18:15,210 --> 01:18:18,386
- [Ziggy] Now, how about a
little nosh at Nate 'n Al's?
1554
01:18:18,386 --> 01:18:19,219
- [Barry] Okay.
1555
01:18:19,219 --> 01:18:22,350
- [Ziggy] But don't tell
Grandma, she'll hit me. (laughs)
1556
01:18:22,350 --> 01:18:25,440
- [Frank] Thanks a lot,
Ziggy, touching eulogy.
1557
01:18:25,440 --> 01:18:26,687
- [Ziggy] Bye, Musso.
1558
01:18:26,687 --> 01:18:28,323
- [Barry] Bye, Musso.
1559
01:18:31,560 --> 01:18:33,330
- [Frank] Wait, who's this?
1560
01:18:33,330 --> 01:18:35,103
Word of mouth must be building.
1561
01:18:40,803 --> 01:18:41,636
(car door slams)
1562
01:18:41,636 --> 01:18:45,600
Norma, she always looked
dynamite in black.
1563
01:18:45,600 --> 01:18:47,853
Either I'm excited or
it's the rigor mortis.
1564
01:18:48,930 --> 01:18:49,863
- Bye, Frank.
1565
01:18:53,940 --> 01:18:56,790
- [Frank] Bye, Norma,
we made a great team.
1566
01:18:56,790 --> 01:18:59,850
In case you're wondering, she
wised up and dumped Farrit,
1567
01:18:59,850 --> 01:19:02,520
married a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon.
1568
01:19:02,520 --> 01:19:03,843
Good for you, baby.
1569
01:19:07,080 --> 01:19:09,060
Oh, one more thing,
1570
01:19:09,060 --> 01:19:12,090
remember that 20 million
my execution grossed?
1571
01:19:12,090 --> 01:19:14,400
I found the little loophole in the law.
1572
01:19:14,400 --> 01:19:16,560
It seems that convicted
criminals can't profit
1573
01:19:16,560 --> 01:19:19,773
from their deeds, but
only while they're alive.
1574
01:19:22,498 --> 01:19:26,073
- Yeah, this is the place, all right.
1575
01:19:26,073 --> 01:19:27,723
Well, this is fun.
1576
01:19:28,911 --> 01:19:32,340
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪
(Frank moans)
1577
01:19:32,340 --> 01:19:33,590
- [Frank] That felt good.
1578
01:19:34,594 --> 01:19:38,589
Yes, yes, who says you
can't take it with you?
1579
01:19:38,589 --> 01:19:41,006
♪ Hallelujah ♪
1580
01:19:51,456 --> 01:19:53,649
(jingle bells ringing)
1581
01:19:53,649 --> 01:19:56,482
(slow rock music)
1582
01:19:59,999 --> 01:20:02,332
- Look at me when I'm yelling at you,
1583
01:20:02,332 --> 01:20:03,360
and don't start that crying crap,
1584
01:20:03,360 --> 01:20:04,830
'cause it ain't gonna work this time
1585
01:20:04,830 --> 01:20:06,420
'cause I'm right and you're wrong.
1586
01:20:06,420 --> 01:20:08,400
You are totally fucking wrong.
1587
01:20:08,400 --> 01:20:13,200
Now me, I, the one who's
right, is gonna go get you,
1588
01:20:13,200 --> 01:20:18,200
the one who is abso-fucking-lutely
wrong, a box of tampons,
1589
01:20:18,240 --> 01:20:19,320
because that's the kind
1590
01:20:19,320 --> 01:20:22,530
of forgiving fucking human being I am.
1591
01:20:22,530 --> 01:20:24,000
So I'll tell you what, honey.
1592
01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:24,960
While I'm out in the middle
1593
01:20:24,960 --> 01:20:27,690
of the fucking night getting
you your goddamn tampons,
1594
01:20:27,690 --> 01:20:29,430
I want you to sit here and think
1595
01:20:29,430 --> 01:20:32,040
about how right I am
and how wrong you are.
1596
01:20:32,040 --> 01:20:33,300
So turn off the taps
1597
01:20:33,300 --> 01:20:36,546
and start thinking up a
goddamn good fucking apology,
1598
01:20:36,546 --> 01:20:38,490
do you understand me, little lady?
1599
01:20:39,456 --> 01:20:42,289
(slow rock music)
1600
01:20:43,842 --> 01:20:46,425
(gong rattles)
1601
01:20:47,648 --> 01:20:49,679
(door slams)
1602
01:20:49,679 --> 01:20:53,346
(slow rock music continues)
1603
01:20:55,005 --> 01:20:58,172
(car tires squealing)
1604
01:21:00,034 --> 01:21:03,712
My life's become one big fucking tampon.
1605
01:21:03,712 --> 01:21:06,212
(siren wails)
1606
01:21:07,381 --> 01:21:11,091
(slow rock music continues)
1607
01:21:11,091 --> 01:21:12,961
(Richard laughs)
1608
01:21:12,961 --> 01:21:17,200
Pick a lane, asshole! (laughs)
1609
01:21:17,200 --> 01:21:20,867
(slow rock music continues)
1610
01:21:28,632 --> 01:21:31,282
Get your tampons, I'll
get you fucking tampons.
1611
01:21:31,282 --> 01:21:33,793
Move the fuck out of the way.
(car horn honks)
1612
01:21:33,793 --> 01:21:37,281
Goddammit. (background
noise drowns out speaker)
1613
01:21:37,281 --> 01:21:40,948
(slow rock music continues)
1614
01:21:42,162 --> 01:21:43,601
(car horn honks)
(flames crackling)
1615
01:21:43,601 --> 01:21:46,518
(slow organ music)
1616
01:21:53,474 --> 01:21:56,307
(slow rock music)
1617
01:21:57,263 --> 01:22:00,096
Who the fuck gets buried at night?
1618
01:22:01,457 --> 01:22:03,633
Are you fucking Dracula?
1619
01:22:03,633 --> 01:22:07,069
Get the fuck out of
the way, motherfuckers!
1620
01:22:07,069 --> 01:22:08,858
- [Speaker] You're next, asshole.
1621
01:22:08,858 --> 01:22:12,525
(slow rock music continues)
1622
01:22:13,710 --> 01:22:15,790
- Where's the fucking tampons?
1623
01:22:15,790 --> 01:22:18,957
(slow elevator music)
1624
01:22:21,930 --> 01:22:23,520
I gotta come out in the middle
1625
01:22:23,520 --> 01:22:25,770
of the fucking night, move, lady,
1626
01:22:25,770 --> 01:22:28,920
I go through this every
fucking month (indistinct).
1627
01:22:28,920 --> 01:22:31,950
Unreal, you know what it is, no respect.
1628
01:22:31,950 --> 01:22:35,640
That's what it is, every
month, the same shit.
1629
01:22:35,640 --> 01:22:36,977
Get this pad, get that pad, then you get
1630
01:22:36,977 --> 01:22:38,583
to the fucking store, they hide it on you.
1631
01:22:38,583 --> 01:22:40,920
They want you to look like an asshole.
1632
01:22:40,920 --> 01:22:44,736
All right, well, where the
fuck are they, huh, huh?
1633
01:22:44,736 --> 01:22:46,247
Oh, here we go, here we go.
1634
01:22:46,247 --> 01:22:48,900
Let me see, douche, douche bag,
1635
01:22:48,900 --> 01:22:51,000
lemon fresh tampons, we got all kinds,
1636
01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:53,670
so we got the super slim,
we got every fucking thing,
1637
01:22:53,670 --> 01:22:55,803
I just need some fucking tampons!
1638
01:23:01,200 --> 01:23:02,450
Oh, all right.
1639
01:23:05,707 --> 01:23:09,003
"Guns N' Pussy," I've been
waiting for this issue.
1640
01:23:12,016 --> 01:23:14,130
(Richard crows)
1641
01:23:14,130 --> 01:23:17,503
Talk about your grassy knoll. (laughs)
1642
01:23:18,420 --> 01:23:20,640
- Hey, mister, what's so funny?
1643
01:23:20,640 --> 01:23:23,250
- Everything, Urkel, if you know how
1644
01:23:23,250 --> 01:23:24,960
to look at it the right way.
1645
01:23:24,960 --> 01:23:26,680
- What did I just tell you?
1646
01:23:26,680 --> 01:23:28,803
Get over here, now!
1647
01:23:30,420 --> 01:23:32,460
- Fight the power, kid.
1648
01:23:32,460 --> 01:23:34,830
- You got some kind of problem, mister?
1649
01:23:34,830 --> 01:23:37,630
- Sorry about your mom,
better luck next time.
1650
01:23:37,630 --> 01:23:38,863
- Fuck you!
1651
01:23:38,863 --> 01:23:42,150
(slow rock music)
1652
01:23:42,150 --> 01:23:45,373
- You wish, Whitney. (laughs)
1653
01:23:47,520 --> 01:23:50,070
Hey, nice time to be feeding your cat.
1654
01:23:50,070 --> 01:23:52,530
Kitty must be getting real fucking hungry.
1655
01:23:52,530 --> 01:23:54,030
Look at this, how would you like
1656
01:23:54,030 --> 01:23:55,580
to be eating at that time, huh?
1657
01:23:56,610 --> 01:24:00,450
You're writing a check
for three fucking dollars?
1658
01:24:00,450 --> 01:24:02,850
I gotta wait for you to write a check
1659
01:24:02,850 --> 01:24:05,286
for three fucking dollars?
1660
01:24:05,286 --> 01:24:07,470
- Driver's license.
1661
01:24:07,470 --> 01:24:09,300
- Driver's license,
don't you hear the man?
1662
01:24:09,300 --> 01:24:10,133
- Yes.
1663
01:24:10,133 --> 01:24:12,060
- Don't you understand this shit yet?
1664
01:24:12,060 --> 01:24:13,440
- I don't have it with me.
1665
01:24:13,440 --> 01:24:15,870
- Jesus fucking Christ, is this, like,
1666
01:24:15,870 --> 01:24:19,473
the first time you ever
been shopping, I mean, ever?
1667
01:24:20,850 --> 01:24:23,370
All right, I'll vouch for her,
she's from the neighborhood.
1668
01:24:23,370 --> 01:24:25,653
- No, no, no, I need driver's license-
1669
01:24:26,760 --> 01:24:27,660
- You need-
1670
01:24:27,660 --> 01:24:29,340
- Just forget it.
- You need speech lessons,
1671
01:24:29,340 --> 01:24:31,290
you dumb fuck, yeah, get the fuck,
1672
01:24:31,290 --> 01:24:33,300
yeah, how's your cat gonna feel now, eh?
1673
01:24:33,300 --> 01:24:35,280
What, are you gonna let
little Frisky starve?
1674
01:24:35,280 --> 01:24:36,510
- Fuck the cat, fuck you.
1675
01:24:36,510 --> 01:24:38,160
- Fuck me, fuck you.
1676
01:24:38,160 --> 01:24:39,090
- Fuck you.
1677
01:24:39,090 --> 01:24:40,063
- Fuck both of yous.
1678
01:24:40,063 --> 01:24:43,110
- Eat out of my butt,
you eat out of my butt.
1679
01:24:43,110 --> 01:24:44,475
- Eat out of his butt.
1680
01:24:44,475 --> 01:24:45,308
- Fuck you!
1681
01:24:45,308 --> 01:24:46,470
- Get the fuck out of here!
1682
01:24:46,470 --> 01:24:47,810
- Get the fuck out of here.
1683
01:24:47,810 --> 01:24:50,394
- [Richard] Do you believe that shit, eh?
1684
01:24:50,394 --> 01:24:52,730
- [Cashier] Oh, I cannot believe it.
1685
01:24:52,730 --> 01:24:55,680
- Gandhi, hey, Gandhi, you blew that sale,
1686
01:24:55,680 --> 01:24:56,850
you know that, don't you?
1687
01:24:56,850 --> 01:25:00,060
And what's with the size
of your head, Jesus Christ.
1688
01:25:00,060 --> 01:25:03,241
I mean it, you really
got a big fucking head.
1689
01:25:03,241 --> 01:25:05,243
(group laughs)
1690
01:25:05,243 --> 01:25:06,210
- My big fucking head.
1691
01:25:06,210 --> 01:25:08,310
- I mean, what fucking
size hat do you wear
1692
01:25:08,310 --> 01:25:10,020
on that fucking head?
1693
01:25:10,020 --> 01:25:11,940
I mean, if you're gonna get
involved in this business,
1694
01:25:11,940 --> 01:25:14,310
you gotta wear like that red top hat
1695
01:25:14,310 --> 01:25:16,770
with the dot in the middle
of your fucking forehead
1696
01:25:16,770 --> 01:25:19,560
with the drapery dress you people wear.
1697
01:25:19,560 --> 01:25:23,160
Hey, you gotta get this
shit together, okay?
1698
01:25:23,160 --> 01:25:23,993
- Anything else?
1699
01:25:23,993 --> 01:25:27,663
- Yeah, your mother.
(group laughs)
1700
01:25:27,663 --> 01:25:30,331
Hey, what language is that,
by the way, dumb fuck?
1701
01:25:30,331 --> 01:25:31,860
(group laughs)
1702
01:25:31,860 --> 01:25:33,150
Hey, homie, you get any closer,
1703
01:25:33,150 --> 01:25:35,975
you'd better be wearing
a latex condom, huh?
1704
01:25:35,975 --> 01:25:37,710
(guns clicking)
1705
01:25:37,710 --> 01:25:40,391
- Surprise, give me your fucking money.
1706
01:25:40,391 --> 01:25:42,974
(group laughs)
1707
01:25:44,014 --> 01:25:46,905
Give me the fucking money,
give me the fucking money.
1708
01:25:46,905 --> 01:25:49,560
(group laughs)
1709
01:25:49,560 --> 01:25:51,810
- Hey, nice hairdo, maybe afterwards,
1710
01:25:51,810 --> 01:25:54,683
we'll go to my house,
you'll sand some doors, huh?
1711
01:25:54,683 --> 01:25:55,890
- Shut the fuck up, motherfucker,
1712
01:25:55,890 --> 01:25:58,233
I'll blow your brain to spaghetti sauce.
1713
01:25:58,233 --> 01:26:00,316
- Back off, motherfucker!
1714
01:26:03,313 --> 01:26:05,370
- What are you, a fucking kamikaze?
1715
01:26:05,370 --> 01:26:06,633
You on a fucking mission?
1716
01:26:07,590 --> 01:26:09,093
- My chick's on the rag.
1717
01:26:10,440 --> 01:26:11,730
You think you scare me?
1718
01:26:11,730 --> 01:26:14,160
- Now give me the fucking money!
1719
01:26:14,160 --> 01:26:15,805
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
1720
01:26:15,805 --> 01:26:17,324
why don't you take these with you?
1721
01:26:17,324 --> 01:26:18,510
You know, for the stolen car ride,
1722
01:26:18,510 --> 01:26:20,010
you'll have something to eat.
1723
01:26:20,010 --> 01:26:22,186
Yeah, yeah, I like them tattoos, too.
1724
01:26:22,186 --> 01:26:23,880
Why don't you make a
nice tattoo for "prick"
1725
01:26:23,880 --> 01:26:26,883
across your forehead, eh, you forgot that.
1726
01:26:27,750 --> 01:26:29,996
Why don't you do that, tough guy?
1727
01:26:29,996 --> 01:26:31,977
- You're fucking dead, motherfucker.
1728
01:26:31,977 --> 01:26:32,923
(gun fires)
1729
01:26:32,923 --> 01:26:35,765
(Richard groans)
1730
01:26:35,765 --> 01:26:38,970
- You fucked up my shirt,
now I'm really pissed off.
1731
01:26:38,970 --> 01:26:40,615
- You're pissed off, (indistinct).
1732
01:26:40,615 --> 01:26:41,448
(gun fires)
1733
01:26:41,448 --> 01:26:42,745
(Richard groans)
1734
01:26:42,745 --> 01:26:43,820
Yeah, right, fuck you.
1735
01:26:43,820 --> 01:26:47,050
- Hey, where you going, you
chicken shit motherfuckers?
1736
01:26:47,050 --> 01:26:49,435
Why don't you come back
and fight like the lowlife-
1737
01:26:49,435 --> 01:26:51,935
(guns firing)
1738
01:26:55,703 --> 01:26:57,849
- Hey, that motherfucker's hurting.
1739
01:26:57,849 --> 01:26:59,337
- Bye bye, have a nice day.
1740
01:26:59,337 --> 01:27:00,300
♪ In excelsis deo ♪
1741
01:27:00,300 --> 01:27:05,067
- Hey, Saddam, where in the
hell do you keep the body bags?
1742
01:27:05,067 --> 01:27:05,910
(cashier stammers)
1743
01:27:05,910 --> 01:27:08,013
You dumb fuck.
1744
01:27:08,890 --> 01:27:13,890
(bell tolls)
(dramatic orchestral music)
1745
01:27:16,105 --> 01:27:19,595
(wind whistles)
1746
01:27:19,595 --> 01:27:24,095
(dramatic orchestral music continues)
1747
01:27:31,563 --> 01:27:33,980
(bell tolls)
1748
01:27:35,850 --> 01:27:36,683
Hey, goombah.
1749
01:27:36,683 --> 01:27:37,707
- Huh?
1750
01:27:37,707 --> 01:27:39,593
- Has this line moved since you got here?
1751
01:27:39,593 --> 01:27:40,426
- Shh.
- Shh.
1752
01:27:40,426 --> 01:27:41,310
- What, do you got to take, like,
1753
01:27:41,310 --> 01:27:43,801
a ticket or a number
thing, like at the bakery?
1754
01:27:43,801 --> 01:27:44,634
- Shh.
1755
01:27:44,634 --> 01:27:46,983
- [Speaker] Who is that guy?
1756
01:27:46,983 --> 01:27:48,480
- Open up another window, I mean,
1757
01:27:48,480 --> 01:27:51,385
who do you have to fuck
around here to skip customs?
1758
01:27:51,385 --> 01:27:53,490
(thunder rumbles)
1759
01:27:53,490 --> 01:27:56,315
- Oh, my, this is. (faintly speaking)
1760
01:27:56,315 --> 01:27:59,232
(group chattering)
1761
01:28:00,150 --> 01:28:01,620
- Oh, by the way, copper,
1762
01:28:01,620 --> 01:28:03,600
I never paid my parking tickets. (laughs)
1763
01:28:03,600 --> 01:28:05,373
- Go no further, stop.
1764
01:28:06,600 --> 01:28:07,433
Oh, my.
1765
01:28:07,433 --> 01:28:11,313
- I just bought that issue, stupid ass.
1766
01:28:12,840 --> 01:28:13,961
- Hmm.
1767
01:28:13,961 --> 01:28:15,263
- [Richard] Oh, what do we got here?
1768
01:28:17,970 --> 01:28:20,670
- Are you Richard Spencer?
1769
01:28:20,670 --> 01:28:22,536
- No, I'm the fucking tooth fairy.
1770
01:28:22,536 --> 01:28:23,520
(thunder rumbles)
1771
01:28:23,520 --> 01:28:27,660
- Yes, Mr. Spencer,
through the allotted span
1772
01:28:27,660 --> 01:28:30,120
of your life on earth, our book shows
1773
01:28:30,120 --> 01:28:32,580
that you were on the whole a good man.
1774
01:28:32,580 --> 01:28:35,430
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, all
right, what's your point?
1775
01:28:35,430 --> 01:28:39,030
- But Mr. Spencer, you
have with some constancy,
1776
01:28:39,030 --> 01:28:42,900
even as a young boy, displayed,
1777
01:28:42,900 --> 01:28:46,503
well, cultivated, if you
will, a bit of a temper.
1778
01:28:48,240 --> 01:28:50,780
- The fuck are you talking about?
1779
01:28:50,780 --> 01:28:52,950
Hey, with all due respect
to your ass-holiness,
1780
01:28:52,950 --> 01:28:56,430
with your big desk and
your major connections,
1781
01:28:56,430 --> 01:28:58,290
I'm getting a little
goddamn sick and tired
1782
01:28:58,290 --> 01:29:00,600
of always hearing about my problems!
1783
01:29:00,600 --> 01:29:02,160
- I'm not saying that.
1784
01:29:02,160 --> 01:29:03,870
- But before you go rushing to judgment
1785
01:29:03,870 --> 01:29:07,723
about my alleged anger, why
don't you do me a favor, huh?
1786
01:29:07,723 --> 01:29:09,180
Why don't you take your saintly head
1787
01:29:09,180 --> 01:29:12,101
and shove it up your saintly ass?
1788
01:29:12,101 --> 01:29:13,081
- Aloha.
1789
01:29:13,081 --> 01:29:14,792
(Richard cries out)
1790
01:29:14,792 --> 01:29:19,479
- This is the last time I
go out for fucking tampons.
1791
01:29:19,479 --> 01:29:21,562
Fuck you, too, Fu Manchu.
1792
01:29:23,526 --> 01:29:26,109
Hey, this must be my lucky day.
1793
01:29:28,697 --> 01:29:31,530
(demons growling)
1794
01:29:33,096 --> 01:29:36,151
You think that hurts after this?
1795
01:29:36,151 --> 01:29:39,093
- [Satan] Richard Spencer!
1796
01:29:39,093 --> 01:29:42,260
(slow dramatic music)
1797
01:29:49,380 --> 01:29:51,797
- Who the fuck wants to know?
1798
01:29:52,762 --> 01:29:57,084
- Your life has been
weighed and found wanting.
1799
01:29:57,084 --> 01:30:02,084
You are hereby condemned to
an eternity in Hell. (laughs)
1800
01:30:04,816 --> 01:30:07,362
(flames crackling)
1801
01:30:07,362 --> 01:30:08,970
(Richard claps)
1802
01:30:08,970 --> 01:30:12,060
- That's very good, and you
did that all by yourself.
1803
01:30:12,060 --> 01:30:13,590
Did you see that, everybody?
1804
01:30:13,590 --> 01:30:16,590
He did it all by himself, and
tomorrow we're gonna teach
1805
01:30:16,590 --> 01:30:19,168
you how to shit fire out of your asshole.
1806
01:30:19,168 --> 01:30:21,751
(Satan growls)
1807
01:30:24,962 --> 01:30:28,380
(Richard scoffs)
1808
01:30:28,380 --> 01:30:33,150
I got two words for you,
Lucy-fer, breath mints.
1809
01:30:33,150 --> 01:30:37,280
Talk about your halitosis, oh, whoa.
1810
01:30:37,280 --> 01:30:39,985
(Satan growls)
1811
01:30:39,985 --> 01:30:42,930
Get the fuck down, you jerk off.
1812
01:30:42,930 --> 01:30:45,390
You think that scares me, huh?
1813
01:30:45,390 --> 01:30:47,280
Trick or treat, trick or treat,
1814
01:30:47,280 --> 01:30:50,550
smell my feet, you dumb
fucking, scum sucking,
1815
01:30:50,550 --> 01:30:53,741
pathetic excuse for a motherfucking devil.
1816
01:30:53,741 --> 01:30:56,940
(wolf growls)
1817
01:30:56,940 --> 01:31:00,660
Look at that head, I never
seen a head that big.
1818
01:31:00,660 --> 01:31:02,910
That's the biggest
fucking head I ever seen.
1819
01:31:02,910 --> 01:31:06,750
I tell you straight out,
that's a big fucking head.
1820
01:31:06,750 --> 01:31:08,400
And look at your fucking kid's head.
1821
01:31:08,400 --> 01:31:10,543
His head's bigger than your fucking head.
1822
01:31:10,543 --> 01:31:12,060
(wolf whines)
1823
01:31:12,060 --> 01:31:13,632
You know what I think of you?
1824
01:31:13,632 --> 01:31:14,784
- Hmm?
1825
01:31:14,784 --> 01:31:17,681
- You're a jack off, that's what I think.
1826
01:31:17,681 --> 01:31:18,514
(Satan laughs)
1827
01:31:18,514 --> 01:31:20,937
You fucking jerk off, jerk off.
1828
01:31:22,141 --> 01:31:23,534
(Satan laughs)
1829
01:31:23,534 --> 01:31:24,367
Jerk off.
1830
01:31:25,954 --> 01:31:28,383
- Jerk this.
1831
01:31:28,383 --> 01:31:30,966
(Satan laughs)
1832
01:31:32,535 --> 01:31:33,368
Next?
1833
01:31:33,368 --> 01:31:34,687
(siren wails)
1834
01:31:34,687 --> 01:31:37,320
- And I saw the whole damn thing.
1835
01:31:37,320 --> 01:31:39,840
That crazy psycho motherfucker
was asking for it,
1836
01:31:39,840 --> 01:31:41,804
egging them on the whole time.
1837
01:31:41,804 --> 01:31:45,018
If you ask me, he's
better off dead. (screams)
1838
01:31:45,018 --> 01:31:46,234
- [Paramedic] Oh, shit, he's alive.
1839
01:31:46,234 --> 01:31:48,780
- Hey, Kevorkian, watch the
bumps, I got needles in my arms.
1840
01:31:48,780 --> 01:31:49,613
- [Paramedic] Get him inside, quick.
1841
01:31:49,613 --> 01:31:52,020
- Look, oh, well, it's about
time, you need a tampon,
1842
01:31:52,020 --> 01:31:53,709
here's your tampons.
- [Paramedic] Hey, hey, hey,
1843
01:31:53,709 --> 01:31:54,635
we need some help out here.
1844
01:31:54,635 --> 01:31:55,468
- [Richard] You'd better get me a nurse
1845
01:31:55,468 --> 01:31:56,753
with some big motherfucking titties.
1846
01:31:57,720 --> 01:31:58,950
What, did you assholes get fired
1847
01:31:58,950 --> 01:32:00,690
from the fucking Post Office?
1848
01:32:00,690 --> 01:32:03,570
- Ultra maxi large super absorbent?
1849
01:32:03,570 --> 01:32:05,550
This isn't what I asked for.
1850
01:32:05,550 --> 01:32:06,570
What does he think I am,
1851
01:32:06,570 --> 01:32:09,063
some kind of goddamn hemorrhaging horse?
1852
01:32:10,800 --> 01:32:12,450
It figures you can't do anything right,
1853
01:32:12,450 --> 01:32:15,900
you dick for brains sociopathic
motherfucking asshole!
1854
01:32:15,900 --> 01:32:16,939
As soon as you're out of here,
1855
01:32:16,939 --> 01:32:18,889
I'm gonna make your life a living hell.
1856
01:32:20,170 --> 01:32:25,170
You hear me, hell. (laughs)
(ominous orchestral music)
1857
01:32:29,195 --> 01:32:31,852
(Satan laughs)
1858
01:32:31,852 --> 01:32:36,269
(ominous orchestral music continues)
1859
01:32:43,300 --> 01:32:46,133
(slow rock music)
1860
01:32:47,571 --> 01:32:50,906
(person laughs)
1861
01:32:50,906 --> 01:32:54,573
(slow rock music continues)
1862
01:32:58,691 --> 01:33:02,371
(group chattering)
1863
01:33:02,371 --> 01:33:06,028
♪ Please allow me to introduce myself ♪
1864
01:33:06,028 --> 01:33:10,838
♪ I'm a man of wealth and taste ♪
1865
01:33:10,838 --> 01:33:14,425
♪ I've been around for
a long, long years ♪
1866
01:33:14,425 --> 01:33:19,389
♪ Stole million man's soul and faith ♪
1867
01:33:19,389 --> 01:33:22,632
♪ And I was 'round when Jesus Christ ♪
1868
01:33:22,632 --> 01:33:27,632
♪ Had his moment of doubt and pain ♪
1869
01:33:27,731 --> 01:33:30,949
♪ Made damn sure that Pilate ♪
1870
01:33:30,949 --> 01:33:35,949
♪ Washed his hands and sealed his fate ♪
1871
01:33:38,312 --> 01:33:40,435
♪ Pleased to meet you ♪
1872
01:33:40,435 --> 01:33:45,407
♪ Hope you guess my name ♪
1873
01:33:45,407 --> 01:33:47,715
♪ But what's puzzling you ♪
1874
01:33:47,715 --> 01:33:52,166
♪ Is the nature of my game ♪
1875
01:33:52,166 --> 01:33:56,630
♪ Just as every cop is a criminal ♪
1876
01:33:56,630 --> 01:34:00,849
♪ And all the sinners saints ♪
1877
01:34:00,849 --> 01:34:02,550
♪ As heads is tails ♪
1878
01:34:02,550 --> 01:34:04,907
♪ Just call me Lucifer ♪
1879
01:34:04,907 --> 01:34:08,966
♪ 'Cause I'm in need of some restraint ♪
1880
01:34:08,966 --> 01:34:10,827
♪ So if you meet me ♪
1881
01:34:10,827 --> 01:34:13,223
♪ Have some courtesy ♪
1882
01:34:13,223 --> 01:34:17,750
♪ Have some sympathy, and some taste ♪
1883
01:34:17,750 --> 01:34:21,588
♪ Use all your well-learned politesse ♪
1884
01:34:21,588 --> 01:34:26,588
♪ Or I'll lay your soul
to waste, mm, yeah ♪
1885
01:34:28,907 --> 01:34:30,950
♪ Pleased to meet you ♪
1886
01:34:30,950 --> 01:34:35,950
♪ Hope you guessed my name, yeah ♪
1887
01:34:36,086 --> 01:34:38,578
♪ But what's puzzling you ♪
1888
01:34:38,578 --> 01:34:43,578
♪ Is the nature of my
game, mean it, get down ♪
1889
01:34:45,846 --> 01:34:47,846
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
1890
01:34:47,846 --> 01:34:49,867
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
1891
01:34:49,867 --> 01:34:51,867
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
1892
01:34:51,867 --> 01:34:53,960
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
1893
01:34:53,960 --> 01:34:55,446
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
1894
01:34:55,446 --> 01:34:57,560
♪ Oh, yeah, ooh, ooh ♪
1895
01:34:57,560 --> 01:34:59,561
♪ Get on down, ooh, ooh ♪
1896
01:34:59,561 --> 01:35:02,587
♪ Oh, yeah, ooh, ooh ♪
1897
01:35:02,587 --> 01:35:04,944
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
1898
01:35:04,944 --> 01:35:07,777
(slow rock music)
1899
01:35:33,126 --> 01:35:35,963
♪ Money ♪
1900
01:35:35,963 --> 01:35:39,425
♪ Get away ♪
1901
01:35:39,425 --> 01:35:44,425
♪ You get a good job with
more pay and you're okay ♪
1902
01:35:46,861 --> 01:35:49,822
♪ Money ♪
1903
01:35:49,822 --> 01:35:53,124
♪ It's a gas ♪
1904
01:35:53,124 --> 01:35:58,124
♪ Grab that cash with both
hands and make a stash ♪
1905
01:36:00,683 --> 01:36:04,225
♪ New car, caviar, four star daydream ♪
1906
01:36:04,225 --> 01:36:09,225
♪ Think I'll buy me a football team ♪
1907
01:36:14,203 --> 01:36:17,065
♪ Money ♪
1908
01:36:17,065 --> 01:36:20,363
♪ Get back ♪
1909
01:36:20,363 --> 01:36:25,363
♪ I'm all right, jack, keep
your hands off of my stack ♪
1910
01:36:27,582 --> 01:36:30,385
♪ Money ♪
1911
01:36:30,385 --> 01:36:33,707
♪ It's a hit ♪
1912
01:36:33,707 --> 01:36:38,707
♪ Don't give me that do
goody good bullshit ♪
1913
01:36:39,846 --> 01:36:44,846
♪ I'm in the high-fidelity
first-class traveling set ♪
1914
01:36:45,240 --> 01:36:49,240
♪ And I think I need a Lear jet ♪
1915
01:36:50,321 --> 01:36:53,988
(slow rock music continues)
1916
01:38:07,787 --> 01:38:11,454
(slow rock music continues)
141486
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