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1
00:06:06,146 --> 00:06:07,896
Hello?
2
00:06:13,313 --> 00:06:15,354
You've had an accident.
3
00:06:17,188 --> 00:06:18,646
You need an ambulance.
4
00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:21,771
I'll call for one. I'll be right back.
5
00:06:21,938 --> 00:06:25,104
- Lie still here.
- No.
6
00:06:25,271 --> 00:06:26,771
No.
7
00:06:26,938 --> 00:06:29,063
No what?
8
00:06:29,229 --> 00:06:31,438
I don't need an ambulance.
9
00:06:31,604 --> 00:06:33,521
I can clearly see you do.
10
00:06:33,688 --> 00:06:36,604
I'll call for one.
11
00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:38,313
In that case, I'll be up and gone
12
00:06:38,479 --> 00:06:40,938
before you have time to come back.
13
00:06:43,271 --> 00:06:44,896
That will hurt.
14
00:06:45,063 --> 00:06:48,979
That's possible. But it doesn't matter to me.
15
00:06:53,354 --> 00:06:56,104
I assume you don't want me to call the police either.
16
00:06:57,396 --> 00:07:00,271
Yes, that's exactly right.
17
00:07:05,688 --> 00:07:07,979
Is there anything you want?
18
00:07:16,521 --> 00:07:20,354
I'd like a cup of tea with some milk.
19
00:07:23,396 --> 00:07:25,396
Well...
20
00:07:26,521 --> 00:07:30,229
You have to come with me.
21
00:07:30,396 --> 00:07:32,979
I don't serve tea in the street.
22
00:07:36,021 --> 00:07:37,896
Can you walk?
23
00:07:38,688 --> 00:07:39,979
Yeah.
24
00:07:42,604 --> 00:07:44,896
I've even bought a cake.
25
00:07:50,813 --> 00:07:52,604
Here's a pajama.
26
00:07:54,229 --> 00:07:55,188
Thank you.
27
00:07:55,354 --> 00:07:57,479
I've made up the bed for you.
28
00:07:57,646 --> 00:07:59,688
With clean sheets.
29
00:08:17,645 --> 00:08:20,103
- Sorry.
- That's okay.
30
00:08:22,478 --> 00:08:24,353
There.
31
00:08:32,853 --> 00:08:36,520
- I'll wash your clothes.
- Not my coat.
32
00:08:37,937 --> 00:08:39,770
It smells rather badly.
33
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:41,853
It's my coat.
34
00:08:42,603 --> 00:08:44,603
The smell won't come off anyway.
35
00:08:45,853 --> 00:08:47,478
It's your coat.
36
00:08:51,895 --> 00:08:54,978
- Do you take sugar?
- No, thank you.
37
00:08:56,686 --> 00:08:58,478
There you go.
38
00:09:00,228 --> 00:09:02,020
Thank you.
39
00:09:08,061 --> 00:09:09,645
So what happened?
40
00:09:10,645 --> 00:09:12,395
Were you robbed?
41
00:09:16,020 --> 00:09:18,645
It's my own fault.
42
00:09:20,478 --> 00:09:22,311
I'm just a bad human being.
43
00:09:23,686 --> 00:09:25,853
I've never met a bad human being.
44
00:09:26,020 --> 00:09:27,520
Well, you have now.
45
00:09:29,978 --> 00:09:32,311
Do you want to talk about it?
46
00:09:32,686 --> 00:09:34,603
You wouldn't understand.
47
00:09:37,436 --> 00:09:38,853
Well, try me.
48
00:09:41,478 --> 00:09:43,645
But I wouldn't know where to start.
49
00:09:53,478 --> 00:09:57,103
Why is that ridiculous fishhook hanging there?
50
00:09:57,270 --> 00:09:59,353
That's a fly.
51
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:02,853
I caught a fish with it once, a rather big one.
52
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:04,895
Strangely enough.
53
00:10:08,228 --> 00:10:10,478
Fly fishing is about tying feathers
54
00:10:10,645 --> 00:10:12,520
and other things to a hook
55
00:10:13,186 --> 00:10:16,561
so it resembles something the fish likes to eat.
56
00:10:16,728 --> 00:10:19,686
And then because the fly is very light,
57
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:22,395
you have to have a line that is heavy.
58
00:10:23,311 --> 00:10:25,686
It creates the velocity when you cast.
59
00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:40,686
- You fish a lot?
- Well, some.
60
00:10:41,895 --> 00:10:43,978
But I don't catch much.
61
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:48,186
The locals catch a lot more.
62
00:10:49,228 --> 00:10:52,145
When I was young, I... I had a book I...
63
00:10:52,311 --> 00:10:53,811
I worshipped.
64
00:11:00,103 --> 00:11:02,311
It was an old book by Izaak Walton
65
00:11:02,478 --> 00:11:03,978
called "The Complete Angler".
66
00:11:07,728 --> 00:11:10,728
It was like a romantic nature bible to me.
67
00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:24,811
Maybe I know where to start.
68
00:11:28,353 --> 00:11:31,353
But if you're to understand, I'll...
69
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:34,353
I'll have to tell you the whole story.
70
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:36,395
And it'll be long.
71
00:11:38,020 --> 00:11:40,436
Long is good.
72
00:11:41,478 --> 00:11:44,353
And moral, I'm afraid.
73
00:11:55,519 --> 00:11:57,394
To begin with the bait,
74
00:11:57,560 --> 00:12:00,519
I discovered my cunt as a two-year-old.
75
00:12:01,144 --> 00:12:04,060
"Cunt" is a very strong word.
76
00:12:04,644 --> 00:12:07,435
Let's call it "Pandora's Box" then.
77
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:11,519
Um... No, no, no. "Cunt" is better.
78
00:12:11,685 --> 00:12:15,019
So, I was a nymphomaniac.
79
00:12:15,185 --> 00:12:17,644
Wait a moment, no. Nobody can be a nymphomaniac
80
00:12:17,810 --> 00:12:19,269
when they're only two years old.
81
00:12:19,435 --> 00:12:20,852
I don't think even the strictest God
82
00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:24,685
would see anything else
than a child's normal behavior.
83
00:12:25,393 --> 00:12:27,685
What about fetuses? It's common knowledge
84
00:12:27,852 --> 00:12:30,893
that fetuses often touch their genital organs.
85
00:12:31,810 --> 00:12:34,393
Can a fetus somehow be sinful?
86
00:12:35,602 --> 00:12:37,185
Why not?
87
00:12:37,477 --> 00:12:39,643
Not according to any religion I know,
88
00:12:39,810 --> 00:12:42,268
unless it's an original sin.
89
00:12:42,435 --> 00:12:43,810
Ancestral.
90
00:12:46,518 --> 00:12:50,185
Or perhaps according
to a religion that doesn't exist yet.
91
00:12:50,810 --> 00:12:54,268
According to a god that hasn't yet manifested himself.
92
00:12:54,435 --> 00:12:56,810
But then you can imagine anything.
93
00:13:01,810 --> 00:13:05,060
At an early age, I was mechanically inclined.
94
00:13:05,227 --> 00:13:10,018
Kinetic energy, for example, has always fascinated me.
95
00:13:10,727 --> 00:13:14,060
And my friend, let's call her "B",
96
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:16,393
always came up with the ideas.
97
00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:21,477
Playing frogs was one of B's classics.
98
00:13:46,227 --> 00:13:47,477
Joe, are you all right?
99
00:13:47,643 --> 00:13:49,518
Just a moment.
100
00:13:51,768 --> 00:13:53,102
Are you done?
101
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:06,393
For Christ's sakes, leave them alone.
102
00:14:07,518 --> 00:14:09,643
I loved my father very much.
103
00:14:09,810 --> 00:14:11,185
He was a doctor.
104
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,518
My mother's name was Katherine.
105
00:14:14,685 --> 00:14:16,727
My father called her Kay.
106
00:14:18,477 --> 00:14:22,060
I suppose she was what you'd call "a cold bitch".
107
00:14:22,893 --> 00:14:26,310
She always had her back turned
when she played solitaire.
108
00:14:26,768 --> 00:14:28,560
I hated solitaire.
109
00:14:35,143 --> 00:14:37,935
When we had P.E., I'd climb up into the ropes
110
00:14:38,102 --> 00:14:42,477
and hang there for ages with the rope between my legs.
111
00:14:43,310 --> 00:14:45,768
"The Sensation" we called it.
112
00:14:46,143 --> 00:14:50,352
I remember very distinctly this word, "sensation".
113
00:14:56,643 --> 00:15:00,477
Perhaps the only difference
between me and other people
114
00:15:00,643 --> 00:15:04,435
was that I've always demanded more from the sunset.
115
00:15:05,268 --> 00:15:10,102
More spectacular colors when the sun hit the horizon.
116
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:14,518
That's perhaps my only sin.
117
00:15:18,102 --> 00:15:20,560
Why are you insisting that children are sinful?
118
00:15:21,518 --> 00:15:23,060
Not children.
119
00:15:23,227 --> 00:15:24,143
Me.
120
00:15:25,893 --> 00:15:27,518
I don't see sin anywhere.
121
00:15:28,018 --> 00:15:29,977
But then I'm not religious.
122
00:15:30,143 --> 00:15:32,810
Well, that's because
you don't know the rest of the story.
123
00:15:33,227 --> 00:15:35,352
And by the way, I'm not religious either.
124
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,643
Why would you take the most unsympathetic aspect
125
00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:42,226
of religion such as the concept of sin...
126
00:15:43,184 --> 00:15:45,851
and let it survive beyond religion?
127
00:15:49,601 --> 00:15:52,142
I don't understand this self-hatred.
128
00:15:52,850 --> 00:15:54,434
Well, that's what I said.
129
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:57,059
- You wouldn't understand.
- No, I'm...
130
00:15:58,350 --> 00:16:00,017
I'm sorry, I'll shut up.
131
00:16:01,934 --> 00:16:03,434
Please continue.
132
00:16:17,434 --> 00:16:21,350
Nervus... pudendus.
133
00:16:25,850 --> 00:16:30,434
Nervus dorsalis clitoridis.
134
00:17:16,934 --> 00:17:19,767
When the ash tree was created,
135
00:17:19,934 --> 00:17:22,642
it made all the other trees in the forest jealous.
136
00:17:23,934 --> 00:17:26,100
It was the most beautiful tree.
137
00:17:29,225 --> 00:17:31,350
You couldn't say anything bad about it.
138
00:17:32,642 --> 00:17:36,225
It was the World Tree in Norse mythology.
139
00:17:36,392 --> 00:17:38,975
Remember, Odin...
140
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:42,434
He hung from the ash tree, Yggdrasil, for nine days
141
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,309
in order to gain insight.
142
00:17:46,809 --> 00:17:48,975
The ash tree had the strongest wood.
143
00:17:54,350 --> 00:17:56,267
Then in the winter...
144
00:17:58,392 --> 00:18:00,809
when the ash tree lost all of its leaves...
145
00:18:03,975 --> 00:18:06,475
all the trees noticed its black buds,
146
00:18:06,642 --> 00:18:08,059
and started laughing.
147
00:18:08,475 --> 00:18:10,392
Oh, look.
148
00:18:10,559 --> 00:18:14,350
The ash tree has had its fingers in the ashes.
149
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:18,225
See?
150
00:18:19,267 --> 00:18:22,100
You can always tell the ash tree in winter
151
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:23,350
by the black buds.
152
00:18:34,475 --> 00:18:35,850
Now...
153
00:18:37,267 --> 00:18:40,309
Now this is a lime tree leaf.
154
00:18:40,517 --> 00:18:43,642
- Remember?
- I forgot about the lime tree.
155
00:18:43,809 --> 00:18:45,934
I've told you 100 times.
156
00:18:46,475 --> 00:18:49,267
My dad loved telling me about the trees,
157
00:18:49,434 --> 00:18:51,767
and their leaves, and considered it
158
00:18:51,934 --> 00:18:53,850
part of a good education.
159
00:18:54,850 --> 00:18:58,850
He especially loved
the childish educational stories he told
160
00:18:59,017 --> 00:19:01,809
to help me remember what I had learned.
161
00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:05,350
I knew how much he loved telling those stories.
162
00:19:05,517 --> 00:19:08,809
Sometimes I pretended I'd forgotten them.
163
00:19:10,892 --> 00:19:14,559
Originally, the lime tree's leaves were round.
164
00:19:16,225 --> 00:19:18,100
A fox had her den beneath its roots
165
00:19:18,267 --> 00:19:19,933
where she had four cubs.
166
00:19:21,183 --> 00:19:23,558
One day, she went out looking for food for them.
167
00:19:24,142 --> 00:19:26,642
There was a hunt in the forest. She was shot.
168
00:19:27,225 --> 00:19:30,682
Wounded, she crawled back to the den
169
00:19:31,682 --> 00:19:33,974
where she and the four cubs died.
170
00:19:36,766 --> 00:19:38,932
This made the lime tree so sad.
171
00:19:39,599 --> 00:19:40,932
And from then on,
172
00:19:41,474 --> 00:19:44,182
the lime tree decided to have...
173
00:19:45,682 --> 00:19:47,599
heart-shaped leaves.
174
00:19:49,391 --> 00:19:52,849
Oh, yes, that's right. Heart-shaped.
175
00:19:58,641 --> 00:20:00,266
Am I boring you?
176
00:20:00,432 --> 00:20:02,766
No, no. I'm just looking forward
177
00:20:02,932 --> 00:20:05,391
to how you'll get fishing weaved into your tale.
178
00:20:05,557 --> 00:20:09,474
You could start with the fly on the wall there.
179
00:20:09,641 --> 00:20:11,349
It's called a nymph.
180
00:20:12,099 --> 00:20:13,932
It will tie in elegantly with your discussion
181
00:20:14,099 --> 00:20:19,057
about nymphomania. A nymph is an early stage
182
00:20:19,224 --> 00:20:21,057
in the life of an insect.
183
00:20:23,182 --> 00:20:25,516
As a quite young nymph,
184
00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:29,516
it was imperative for me to get rid of my virginity.
185
00:20:30,391 --> 00:20:31,557
Hopla.
186
00:20:32,349 --> 00:20:34,724
I kind of knew this boy, J,
187
00:20:34,891 --> 00:20:36,974
who had a moped.
188
00:20:37,682 --> 00:20:39,891
So in my eyes he was rather sophisticated.
189
00:20:41,307 --> 00:20:42,807
I was 15,
190
00:20:42,974 --> 00:20:45,516
and perhaps my girlish, romantic expectations
191
00:20:45,682 --> 00:20:47,182
were a bit high.
192
00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:53,016
But he had good, strong hands.
193
00:20:55,516 --> 00:20:57,099
I liked his hands.
194
00:21:04,016 --> 00:21:05,349
Hello?
195
00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:07,932
- Hi.
- Hi.
196
00:21:22,057 --> 00:21:25,182
If I asked you to take
my virginity would that be a problem?
197
00:21:27,432 --> 00:21:29,057
No, I don't see a problem.
198
00:21:33,599 --> 00:21:34,891
So, um...
199
00:21:37,391 --> 00:21:39,016
Where shall I go?
200
00:22:08,016 --> 00:22:09,891
It's the fucking carburetor.
201
00:22:12,057 --> 00:22:14,016
I just can't work it out, you imagine that?
202
00:22:16,599 --> 00:22:18,891
- That's not very good.
- Hmm?
203
00:22:19,057 --> 00:22:20,974
- It's not very good.
- No, it bloody isn't.
204
00:22:21,141 --> 00:22:23,182
Ruins the whole idea of having a moped.
205
00:22:26,682 --> 00:22:29,141
You should probably take off your knickers, yeah?
206
00:23:14,265 --> 00:23:17,764
He shoved his cock inside me and humped me three times.
207
00:23:26,348 --> 00:23:29,598
Then he turned me over like a sack of potatoes.
208
00:23:37,348 --> 00:23:40,264
Then he humped me five times in the ass.
209
00:24:47,431 --> 00:24:50,014
I never forgot those two humiliating numbers.
210
00:24:52,348 --> 00:24:53,723
Three and five?
211
00:24:53,889 --> 00:24:55,473
Those are Fibonacci numbers.
212
00:24:59,723 --> 00:25:00,889
That may be.
213
00:25:01,056 --> 00:25:03,139
In any case, it hurt like hell.
214
00:25:03,764 --> 00:25:06,889
I swore I'd never sleep with anyone again.
215
00:25:07,056 --> 00:25:10,389
But of course that only lasted a short while.
216
00:25:10,889 --> 00:25:13,431
And now to get back to your fishing.
217
00:25:13,848 --> 00:25:16,681
A couple of years later,
218
00:25:16,848 --> 00:25:18,931
I was at my friend B's,
219
00:25:19,098 --> 00:25:21,598
and as always, she had a new idea,
220
00:25:21,764 --> 00:25:25,098
financed by her younger brother's piggy banks
221
00:25:25,264 --> 00:25:27,306
which she regularly emptied.
222
00:25:32,389 --> 00:25:34,723
We put on clothes later known as
223
00:25:35,431 --> 00:25:37,723
the "fuck me now" clothes.
224
00:25:38,764 --> 00:25:41,514
The idea was a competition.
225
00:25:41,681 --> 00:25:44,181
We were to go on a train trip.
226
00:25:44,348 --> 00:25:47,223
B said there was no need for tickets.
227
00:25:48,181 --> 00:25:50,264
The one who would fuck the most men
228
00:25:50,431 --> 00:25:52,598
when we reached the destination
229
00:25:52,764 --> 00:25:54,806
would win the chocolate sweets.
230
00:26:18,389 --> 00:26:19,847
May I interrupt here?
231
00:26:21,264 --> 00:26:24,014
What you were doing when you walked down that corridor.
232
00:26:24,514 --> 00:26:26,097
You were reading the river.
233
00:26:39,556 --> 00:26:43,014
Most of the large fish stay sheltered from the current
234
00:26:43,181 --> 00:26:45,556
to save energy, and to hide from the prey.
235
00:26:46,597 --> 00:26:48,056
Where the fish hides in the stream
236
00:26:48,222 --> 00:26:50,347
entails a very complicated hierarchy.
237
00:26:52,306 --> 00:26:55,681
The topography decides
where the most attractive places are,
238
00:26:55,847 --> 00:26:58,139
and the biggest fish choose the best positions.
239
00:27:06,597 --> 00:27:08,221
What do I do?
240
00:27:08,388 --> 00:27:10,596
Smile and make eye contact.
241
00:27:10,763 --> 00:27:12,805
But what if it doesn't work?
242
00:27:13,305 --> 00:27:16,096
If you have to talk,
remember to ask lots of "wh" questions
243
00:27:16,305 --> 00:27:17,888
if you want more than a yes or no answer.
244
00:27:18,055 --> 00:27:19,346
Then it'll just happen on its own.
245
00:27:19,513 --> 00:27:22,805
You just take them to
the lavatory and you have sex with them.
246
00:27:22,971 --> 00:27:26,138
Oh. What if it's nasty?
247
00:27:26,305 --> 00:27:28,846
Then you just think of the bag of chocolate sweeties.
248
00:28:00,971 --> 00:28:04,180
What... What time is it?
249
00:28:06,513 --> 00:28:07,513
Ten.
250
00:28:22,555 --> 00:28:24,846
Where do you come from?
251
00:28:26,263 --> 00:28:27,638
From home.
252
00:28:35,138 --> 00:28:37,680
Who knows where the lavatory is?
253
00:28:38,638 --> 00:28:41,055
Well, if you take a right,
you will arrive at a lavatory
254
00:28:41,221 --> 00:28:42,680
at the end of the car.
255
00:28:42,846 --> 00:28:45,805
At the same time it is so cleverly arranged
256
00:28:45,971 --> 00:28:50,513
that if you take a left
turn you will also arrive at a lavatory
257
00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:53,430
since at the end of the next car there is also one.
258
00:29:12,721 --> 00:29:14,263
Let me show you where the lavatory is.
259
00:29:46,138 --> 00:29:48,555
It turned out to be shockingly easy.
260
00:29:49,346 --> 00:29:52,888
In no time, B was ahead five to three.
261
00:29:53,054 --> 00:29:54,596
And it was exactly right.
262
00:29:54,763 --> 00:29:57,221
Look them in the eye and smile.
263
00:29:58,388 --> 00:30:00,638
But then suddenly, it stopped.
264
00:30:00,804 --> 00:30:04,096
That's a very clear parallel to fishing in the stream.
265
00:30:04,929 --> 00:30:08,596
As it happens, either none of the fish are feeding,
266
00:30:08,763 --> 00:30:10,304
or they all feed at the same time.
267
00:30:10,471 --> 00:30:14,013
They go into feeding frenzy. All bite.
268
00:30:14,179 --> 00:30:16,929
And then just as suddenly as it started, it stops.
269
00:30:18,096 --> 00:30:22,096
It's observable, but it's highly unpredictable.
270
00:30:22,263 --> 00:30:24,679
And it has to do with, I don't know,
271
00:30:24,846 --> 00:30:27,554
weather, barometric pressure,
272
00:30:27,721 --> 00:30:33,096
maybe some fish psychology. If that's possible.
273
00:30:33,263 --> 00:30:37,138
Anyway, the fish most
readily bite at the beginning of a light rain,
274
00:30:37,304 --> 00:30:39,679
and I think that's because they feel safe
275
00:30:39,846 --> 00:30:41,846
when they swim in the stream.
276
00:30:42,054 --> 00:30:43,929
Because they can't be seen from above.
277
00:30:44,096 --> 00:30:46,388
The water's surface is disturbed.
278
00:30:48,763 --> 00:30:50,721
But then it started again.
279
00:30:50,888 --> 00:30:53,346
Although, a bit more slowly.
280
00:30:53,513 --> 00:30:56,096
Yeah. I think I know how.
281
00:30:56,262 --> 00:30:59,428
Because fly fishing can be done in several phases.
282
00:30:59,595 --> 00:31:03,803
And if the fish stop biting, you move on to phase two.
283
00:31:03,970 --> 00:31:07,262
And in phase two, you not only imitate an insect,
284
00:31:07,428 --> 00:31:09,887
but an insect in trouble.
285
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:12,720
You pull... You pull the line.
286
00:31:12,887 --> 00:31:16,845
You tug it irregularly,
so the fish gets the impression
287
00:31:17,053 --> 00:31:20,095
that it's dealing with an injured and easy prey.
288
00:31:20,928 --> 00:31:25,178
And then helplessly,
let the fly float down the river again.
289
00:31:25,345 --> 00:31:29,095
Then half-heartedly, make a few jumps forward again.
290
00:31:31,637 --> 00:31:34,845
It can be done... It can be done very elegantly.
291
00:31:48,637 --> 00:31:49,720
Hey.
292
00:31:50,678 --> 00:31:51,887
Sorry.
293
00:31:52,803 --> 00:31:54,928
Nothing to feel sorry about.
294
00:31:56,345 --> 00:31:58,803
I'm just not feeling very well today.
295
00:31:59,553 --> 00:32:01,387
What could be so bad?
296
00:32:02,470 --> 00:32:04,470
Oh, thank you.
297
00:32:06,303 --> 00:32:09,428
I can't talk about it right now.
298
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:12,220
Can I just sit here for a while?
299
00:32:13,345 --> 00:32:15,303
Yeah. Sure.
300
00:32:20,928 --> 00:32:22,512
Is it better now?
301
00:32:22,678 --> 00:32:24,345
No,
302
00:32:36,012 --> 00:32:39,595
- Are you all right?
- It's Betty.
303
00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:43,637
I was just told that she's very ill.
304
00:32:43,803 --> 00:32:46,720
Is Betty a close family member?
305
00:32:49,428 --> 00:32:51,678
You could say that.
306
00:32:51,845 --> 00:32:54,012
She's my dwarf hamster.
307
00:32:54,178 --> 00:32:57,803
Dwarf hamster? You can't be serious.
308
00:32:57,970 --> 00:33:00,012
Well, what was I to do?
309
00:33:00,178 --> 00:33:03,803
And then, I did have a dwarf hamster when I was young.
310
00:33:03,970 --> 00:33:05,970
That you were very close to?
311
00:33:06,137 --> 00:33:08,678
Not at all. A bloody nuisance.
312
00:33:08,845 --> 00:33:11,762
Dwarf hamster? That's not so bad.
313
00:33:13,512 --> 00:33:15,553
Would have been worse if it were a person.
314
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:17,678
Don't say that.
315
00:33:17,845 --> 00:33:20,928
I'm extremely fond of my hamster.
316
00:33:21,095 --> 00:33:25,345
Yes, I think that's
a rather cynical thing to say about Betty.
317
00:33:25,511 --> 00:33:29,470
Yes, I made the cage nice and cozy for her when...
318
00:33:29,636 --> 00:33:32,011
- When I got her.
- I bet she liked that.
319
00:33:33,553 --> 00:33:34,845
Betty was excited.
320
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:39,761
One of nature's most meaningless creatures.
321
00:33:40,595 --> 00:33:42,928
You're aware that the choice of a dwarf hamster
322
00:33:43,095 --> 00:33:46,428
possibly suggests certain sexual connotations.
323
00:33:46,595 --> 00:33:47,845
I can see that now
324
00:33:48,011 --> 00:33:50,928
but it was really not a conscious choice.
325
00:33:52,095 --> 00:33:55,345
How long does a dwarf hamster actually live?
326
00:33:55,511 --> 00:33:57,595
Months, years?
327
00:33:58,470 --> 00:34:00,470
Its life is much too short.
328
00:34:08,386 --> 00:34:11,345
Would you show me where the lavatory is?
329
00:34:12,511 --> 00:34:15,470
I... have to blow my nose.
330
00:34:34,678 --> 00:34:36,928
Just the same, we were running out of subjects,
331
00:34:37,095 --> 00:34:39,636
and B was ahead on points,
332
00:34:39,803 --> 00:34:43,428
which led us to S's first-class compartment.
333
00:34:47,885 --> 00:34:49,344
Tickets, please.
334
00:34:55,344 --> 00:34:57,677
Thank you. Ladies?
335
00:34:59,344 --> 00:35:00,344
Tickets.
336
00:35:10,927 --> 00:35:12,844
Well...
337
00:35:14,594 --> 00:35:16,469
I think I might have lost it.
338
00:35:16,635 --> 00:35:18,302
Perhaps.
339
00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:21,719
Drop yours as well, did you?
340
00:35:22,344 --> 00:35:25,677
I haven't bought a ticket for your shitty train.
341
00:35:26,302 --> 00:35:28,260
It's so bloody slow, we should have been
342
00:35:28,427 --> 00:35:30,135
at the end of the track half an hour ago.
343
00:35:30,302 --> 00:35:33,177
Regardless of delays,
you still need a ticket, sweetheart.
344
00:35:33,969 --> 00:35:35,594
Eight pounds each, please.
345
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:39,677
Ooh!
346
00:35:39,885 --> 00:35:42,760
I accidentally tore it up.
347
00:35:43,010 --> 00:35:45,510
Can't expect me to pay for scraps of paper.
348
00:35:46,052 --> 00:35:48,219
- Have another one.
- Oh, great idea.
349
00:35:48,385 --> 00:35:50,927
Oh, that one's disappeared too.
350
00:35:51,094 --> 00:35:52,427
I can always just get the police
351
00:35:52,594 --> 00:35:54,594
to collect your payment at the next station...
352
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:57,135
Let's just take it easy here, shall we?
353
00:35:57,302 --> 00:36:00,010
Apparently, the young ladies
have left without any money.
354
00:36:00,177 --> 00:36:01,969
If it's okay with you,
I'd like to pay for their tickets.
355
00:36:02,135 --> 00:36:04,927
No, sir, it's not. Leave your money where it is.
356
00:36:05,094 --> 00:36:06,719
We'll let the police deal with these two.
357
00:36:06,885 --> 00:36:08,427
We did have sort of an agreement
358
00:36:08,594 --> 00:36:10,594
that I was to pay. I just forgot about it.
359
00:36:14,260 --> 00:36:17,969
I see. Two first-class tickets...
360
00:36:18,135 --> 00:36:20,594
for two first-class ladies.
361
00:36:22,260 --> 00:36:24,135
Enjoy the rest of your journey.
362
00:36:26,385 --> 00:36:28,052
Tickets, please.
363
00:36:36,552 --> 00:36:39,635
Now that you've been so nice to us...
364
00:36:41,677 --> 00:36:44,094
we'd like to be nice to you, too.
365
00:36:44,260 --> 00:36:46,719
Oh, that's very kind of you, but there's no need.
366
00:36:51,635 --> 00:36:52,927
I mean that.
367
00:36:57,218 --> 00:36:59,260
You have to split them up into whether they have
368
00:36:59,427 --> 00:37:01,552
a goal and a mission or not.
369
00:37:02,677 --> 00:37:03,968
That one doesn't.
370
00:37:04,593 --> 00:37:06,593
Well, I've already lost anyway.
371
00:37:08,593 --> 00:37:12,218
I'm willing to give you five extra points...
372
00:37:14,802 --> 00:37:17,052
if you can get that one in there.
373
00:37:19,468 --> 00:37:22,135
I decided, perhaps a bit desperately,
374
00:37:22,302 --> 00:37:24,385
that the only thing standing between me
375
00:37:24,552 --> 00:37:26,302
and the bag of chocolate sweets,
376
00:37:26,468 --> 00:37:30,760
was an unequivocal provocation of this man.
377
00:37:30,927 --> 00:37:34,177
Excellent. An induced take.
378
00:37:34,343 --> 00:37:37,385
When all other attempts fail, a dramatic provocation
379
00:37:37,552 --> 00:37:41,093
can get an otherwise completely passive fish to bite.
380
00:37:41,260 --> 00:37:42,968
A salmon or a trout, for example,
381
00:37:43,135 --> 00:37:45,552
eats itself fat while in salt water,
382
00:37:45,718 --> 00:37:47,635
and then basically has no need to eat
383
00:37:47,802 --> 00:37:51,510
as it makes its way upstream to the spawning grounds.
384
00:37:51,677 --> 00:37:53,885
They're not hungry but they will react instinctively
385
00:37:54,052 --> 00:37:55,802
to the right provocation.
386
00:37:56,677 --> 00:37:58,510
Which would not be a fly, but for instance,
387
00:37:58,677 --> 00:38:02,218
a brightly colored wobbler, preferably red,
388
00:38:02,385 --> 00:38:05,135
served immediately in front of the fish.
389
00:38:05,302 --> 00:38:08,635
The very best is one we call the Finnish Weapon.
390
00:38:08,802 --> 00:38:10,677
The so-called "Rappala".
391
00:38:13,593 --> 00:38:15,302
I don't know if it's comparable,
392
00:38:15,468 --> 00:38:18,343
but I decided in any case to find out
393
00:38:18,510 --> 00:38:20,427
why he hadn't taken the bait,
394
00:38:20,593 --> 00:38:22,968
and to use my psychological abilities,
395
00:38:23,135 --> 00:38:27,052
which B, in my opinion,
didn't possess to the same degree.
396
00:38:28,302 --> 00:38:30,427
You've bought a gift.
397
00:38:32,052 --> 00:38:32,968
Yes.
398
00:38:34,634 --> 00:38:36,176
It's for my wife.
399
00:38:37,676 --> 00:38:41,676
- No gifts for the children?
- No.
400
00:38:42,884 --> 00:38:44,967
We don't have any, actually.
401
00:38:45,842 --> 00:38:48,926
Well, you seem rather well-to-do.
402
00:38:50,676 --> 00:38:55,384
You travel first-class, and you bought us our tickets.
403
00:38:55,551 --> 00:38:59,426
Why then not buy a decent gift for your wife?
404
00:38:59,592 --> 00:39:02,342
I can see it comes from the station.
405
00:39:08,759 --> 00:39:10,217
Of course I should have...
406
00:39:10,426 --> 00:39:12,217
bought her something...
407
00:39:12,634 --> 00:39:14,342
something better, but...
408
00:39:15,509 --> 00:39:18,551
Let's just say I was suddenly in a hurry to get home.
409
00:39:19,551 --> 00:39:22,259
Why would a man like you
410
00:39:22,426 --> 00:39:25,551
with such an orderly life suddenly have to hurry?
411
00:39:29,301 --> 00:39:31,217
It has to do with family.
412
00:39:33,842 --> 00:39:36,342
My wife and I have decided that we...
413
00:39:39,301 --> 00:39:41,634
we miss having children, after all.
414
00:39:42,301 --> 00:39:45,092
And that if we are to have children, it has to be now.
415
00:39:47,884 --> 00:39:50,176
So my wife called yesterday to say that she...
416
00:39:51,551 --> 00:39:53,009
She started ovulating.
417
00:39:55,092 --> 00:39:59,217
And all signs point
to maximum fertility precisely tonight.
418
00:40:00,301 --> 00:40:01,384
You see?
419
00:40:02,342 --> 00:40:04,884
That's why I bought her a gift at the station.
420
00:40:05,051 --> 00:40:07,759
I had to get a ticket home as quickly as possible.
421
00:40:09,551 --> 00:40:14,217
- Well, I understand now.
- What is it you understand?
422
00:40:14,592 --> 00:40:17,009
Why you didn't have sex with us.
423
00:40:20,592 --> 00:40:23,217
It wasn't because I didn't want to.
424
00:40:23,384 --> 00:40:27,217
So you've been saving your sperm.
425
00:40:27,384 --> 00:40:32,092
For weeks. I mean, you and your wife are...
426
00:40:32,259 --> 00:40:35,384
seem to be at an age where every attempt
427
00:40:35,550 --> 00:40:39,800
to become pregnant has to be taken very seriously.
428
00:40:41,759 --> 00:40:43,759
Right now, my...
429
00:40:45,842 --> 00:40:49,884
My sperm quality is at its peak, I'm told.
430
00:41:04,342 --> 00:41:05,925
Please...
431
00:41:09,717 --> 00:41:12,217
I'm begging you, please don't.
432
00:41:13,092 --> 00:41:14,009
It's okay.
433
00:41:15,342 --> 00:41:16,592
Please don't.
434
00:41:19,092 --> 00:41:21,467
You've been as horny as hell.
435
00:41:22,509 --> 00:41:24,467
But you wouldn't give up your load.
436
00:41:25,217 --> 00:41:26,467
Please don't.
437
00:41:36,342 --> 00:41:38,259
Oh, fuck.
438
00:42:18,300 --> 00:42:19,384
Wow.
439
00:42:31,924 --> 00:42:35,633
In your case, it wasn't the taste of a Madeleine cake,
440
00:42:35,799 --> 00:42:37,508
moistened with lime blossom tea,
441
00:42:37,674 --> 00:42:40,674
but the combination of chocolate and sperm.
442
00:42:41,716 --> 00:42:42,799
What?
443
00:42:43,383 --> 00:42:48,424
That was a piece of culturally blasphemic digression.
444
00:42:50,383 --> 00:42:52,133
It's a story about memory.
445
00:42:52,299 --> 00:42:54,174
How the combination of two flavors
446
00:42:54,341 --> 00:42:56,424
set off a chain of memories.
447
00:42:59,008 --> 00:43:03,091
So oral sex became, in the eye of the angler,
448
00:43:03,258 --> 00:43:07,883
your... your Finnish weapon.
449
00:43:08,049 --> 00:43:10,049
Is that your only comment?
450
00:43:12,008 --> 00:43:14,091
What else... What else do you want me to say?
451
00:43:16,049 --> 00:43:18,049
That I behaved reprehensibly.
452
00:43:19,383 --> 00:43:21,424
That already my actions exemplify
453
00:43:21,591 --> 00:43:24,591
that I'm a... I'm a terrible human being.
454
00:43:25,633 --> 00:43:27,966
That's not the way I see it.
455
00:43:28,133 --> 00:43:30,549
On the contrary, I saw it as a...
456
00:43:30,716 --> 00:43:33,258
A very pleasurable and humorous story.
457
00:43:34,091 --> 00:43:37,799
Not at all sad, or... or weighed down by sin.
458
00:43:38,424 --> 00:43:39,799
Like all that talk about Pandora's Box.
459
00:43:39,966 --> 00:43:43,841
I've consciously used and hurt others...
460
00:43:44,008 --> 00:43:46,841
for the sake of my own satisfaction.
461
00:43:47,674 --> 00:43:50,299
And what I've told you
so far only begins to suggest that.
462
00:43:50,466 --> 00:43:52,924
But when you told the story, you were cheerful.
463
00:43:53,257 --> 00:43:54,507
Full of humor.
464
00:43:55,091 --> 00:43:58,716
It wasn't as if you embarked on some tragic tale.
465
00:43:58,882 --> 00:44:00,966
Well, that's the way I am.
466
00:44:03,091 --> 00:44:06,466
I've always loved the chills at the start of a fever,
467
00:44:06,632 --> 00:44:09,924
knowing only too well that sickness will soon follow.
468
00:44:16,674 --> 00:44:18,591
The only thing you've done,
469
00:44:18,757 --> 00:44:21,632
except giving a few people an experience to remember,
470
00:44:21,799 --> 00:44:23,132
is that you...
471
00:44:23,299 --> 00:44:25,757
You relieved S from his load
472
00:44:26,424 --> 00:44:28,841
in some... some youthful hubris.
473
00:44:31,132 --> 00:44:33,924
I read somewhere that if you keep the load too long
474
00:44:34,091 --> 00:44:35,424
the sperm will die.
475
00:44:35,591 --> 00:44:37,841
Or worse, degenerate.
476
00:44:39,174 --> 00:44:41,424
Maybe thanks to you, Mr. S and his wife
477
00:44:41,591 --> 00:44:44,049
now have a healthy and well-functioning child.
478
00:44:45,924 --> 00:44:48,507
I discovered my power as a woman
479
00:44:48,674 --> 00:44:51,132
and used it without any concern for others.
480
00:44:52,132 --> 00:44:53,591
That's completely unacceptable.
481
00:44:53,757 --> 00:44:55,841
Oh, little darling...
482
00:44:56,049 --> 00:44:57,674
Don't you "little darling" me.
483
00:45:00,674 --> 00:45:01,424
No.
484
00:45:04,424 --> 00:45:06,341
What I wanted to say was that
485
00:45:07,257 --> 00:45:09,091
if you have wings, why not fly?
486
00:45:10,674 --> 00:45:11,882
Allow me to digress.
487
00:45:12,507 --> 00:45:15,132
I read a book about Sikorski and helicopters
488
00:45:15,299 --> 00:45:17,049
where the author stressed the fact that
489
00:45:17,216 --> 00:45:20,507
in order to take off, you tilt the helicopter forward.
490
00:45:20,674 --> 00:45:22,591
It looks like you're trying to force the helicopter
491
00:45:22,757 --> 00:45:26,841
down into the ground, but the effect is the contrary.
492
00:45:27,007 --> 00:45:28,882
That the velocity takes the helicopter
493
00:45:29,049 --> 00:45:32,716
and sweeps it up in the air.
494
00:45:32,882 --> 00:45:35,716
The pilots say the helicopter wants to fly.
495
00:45:37,549 --> 00:45:39,549
It's like when you're in a glider plane,
496
00:45:39,716 --> 00:45:42,549
and suddenly you're lifted,
497
00:45:42,716 --> 00:45:46,382
because of the spontaneous emission of thermals.
498
00:45:46,549 --> 00:45:51,674
Thermals is when the sun is warming up the field,
499
00:45:51,841 --> 00:45:55,966
and it emits a thermal bubble of warm air that rises.
500
00:45:56,841 --> 00:45:59,091
These aircraft, they want to fly.
501
00:45:59,257 --> 00:46:01,507
It's just a little unpredictable when.
502
00:46:03,716 --> 00:46:06,299
You flew on that... on that train.
503
00:46:07,674 --> 00:46:09,924
And that surprised you.
504
00:46:44,881 --> 00:46:46,506
No more stories.
505
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:50,381
You need to sleep.
506
00:46:51,048 --> 00:46:52,423
No, no.
507
00:46:53,090 --> 00:46:55,256
This is beginning to amuse me.
508
00:47:01,965 --> 00:47:03,840
I don't even know your name.
509
00:47:05,548 --> 00:47:06,840
My name is Joe.
510
00:47:08,256 --> 00:47:09,798
I'm Seligman.
511
00:47:11,465 --> 00:47:13,506
What a fucking ridiculous name.
512
00:47:15,965 --> 00:47:17,423
It's Jewish.
513
00:47:18,548 --> 00:47:20,048
You said you weren't religious.
514
00:47:20,214 --> 00:47:22,506
No, but my great-grandfather was.
515
00:47:22,673 --> 00:47:25,756
And my parents gave me the name as a sort of...
516
00:47:26,798 --> 00:47:29,214
sentimental association to Judaism.
517
00:47:33,131 --> 00:47:38,006
Why let the sentimental part of religion, as you said,
518
00:47:38,173 --> 00:47:41,214
outlive religion itself?
519
00:47:44,589 --> 00:47:46,006
You have a point.
520
00:47:48,881 --> 00:47:51,923
But we've always been anti-Zionists,
521
00:47:53,548 --> 00:47:55,798
which is not the same as being anti-Semitic,
522
00:47:57,089 --> 00:47:59,714
as certain political powers try to convince us.
523
00:48:00,714 --> 00:48:02,131
Seligman...
524
00:48:03,173 --> 00:48:05,714
means "the happy one".
525
00:48:09,006 --> 00:48:10,673
So, are you happy then?
526
00:48:13,631 --> 00:48:15,381
Well, I suppose I am.
527
00:48:17,339 --> 00:48:18,964
In my own way.
528
00:48:19,631 --> 00:48:20,881
Even if I'm the kind of person
529
00:48:21,048 --> 00:48:23,173
who cut the nails of the right hand first.
530
00:48:23,381 --> 00:48:24,798
What does that mean?
531
00:48:25,714 --> 00:48:27,839
Well, I divide humanity into two groups:
532
00:48:28,006 --> 00:48:30,798
the people who cut the nails on the left hand first,
533
00:48:30,964 --> 00:48:33,923
and the people who cut
the nails of the right hand first.
534
00:48:34,881 --> 00:48:36,714
My theory is that the people who cut the nails
535
00:48:36,881 --> 00:48:40,048
of the left hand first, they're more light-hearted.
536
00:48:40,214 --> 00:48:42,631
They have a tendency to enjoy life more,
537
00:48:43,131 --> 00:48:46,131
because they go straight for the easiest task, and...
538
00:48:46,839 --> 00:48:49,631
save the difficulties for later.
539
00:48:55,423 --> 00:48:59,548
- So what do you do?
- Always the left hand first.
540
00:48:59,714 --> 00:49:01,548
I don't think there's a choice.
541
00:49:02,298 --> 00:49:05,506
Go for the pleasure first, always.
542
00:49:05,673 --> 00:49:08,756
And then when you've done the left hand,
543
00:49:08,923 --> 00:49:10,631
only the right hand remains.
544
00:49:11,339 --> 00:49:13,923
That's the easiest one left.
545
00:49:21,131 --> 00:49:23,339
I never thought of it like that.
546
00:49:26,173 --> 00:49:28,089
Well, you're never too old.
547
00:49:28,923 --> 00:49:30,214
Never too old to learn.
548
00:49:38,673 --> 00:49:40,839
That's rugelach.
549
00:49:41,006 --> 00:49:43,339
Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's a Jewish cake.
550
00:49:43,506 --> 00:49:46,923
- There's that sentimentality again.
- Oh, but it's more than rugelach.
551
00:49:47,089 --> 00:49:49,756
It's rugelach served with a cake fork.
552
00:49:51,298 --> 00:49:54,298
A rugelach, in my opinion, is pastry,
553
00:49:54,464 --> 00:49:57,464
which there is no excuse for eating with a cake fork.
554
00:49:57,631 --> 00:50:01,423
To serve it with a cake fork is irritatingly unmanly,
555
00:50:01,589 --> 00:50:04,422
not to say downright feminine.
556
00:50:06,588 --> 00:50:10,338
However, it can bring us further with the story.
557
00:50:11,797 --> 00:50:16,672
I also knew someone who consumed rugelach every day,
558
00:50:16,838 --> 00:50:19,588
almost ritually, with a cake fork.
559
00:50:20,380 --> 00:50:23,088
And although we'll be jumping a bit in time,
560
00:50:24,963 --> 00:50:27,130
I have to tell you about Jerome.
561
00:50:27,838 --> 00:50:29,463
As far as I can see, the next chapter
562
00:50:29,630 --> 00:50:32,130
doesn't contain as direct an accusation
563
00:50:32,297 --> 00:50:35,755
against my person as the rest of the story.
564
00:50:35,922 --> 00:50:38,713
But as you've read a great deal, apparently,
565
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:41,338
you know that in a story things have to be good
566
00:50:41,505 --> 00:50:43,297
before they can be bad.
567
00:50:47,463 --> 00:50:51,255
The chapter will also make
a sentimental soul like you happy
568
00:50:51,421 --> 00:50:56,005
as it contains observations on the subject of love.
569
00:52:14,130 --> 00:52:16,046
Can I tell you something?
570
00:52:18,130 --> 00:52:19,005
Sure.
571
00:52:19,171 --> 00:52:20,213
Sure.
572
00:52:21,005 --> 00:52:23,171
- Yeah.
- Yeah, sure.
573
00:52:23,338 --> 00:52:25,046
It might not be important to you...
574
00:52:25,213 --> 00:52:26,296
But it is to me.
575
00:52:26,463 --> 00:52:27,880
But it is to me.
576
00:52:29,505 --> 00:52:31,588
I've never had an orgasm before.
577
00:52:35,171 --> 00:52:36,921
Really?
578
00:52:41,380 --> 00:52:42,921
You're my first one.
579
00:52:45,713 --> 00:52:47,463
You don't know how happy that makes me.
580
00:52:52,046 --> 00:52:53,255
I love you.
581
00:52:58,546 --> 00:53:00,421
You're my first.
582
00:53:04,838 --> 00:53:06,380
Well, I have to admit,
583
00:53:07,088 --> 00:53:08,838
quite a lot of girls say that.
584
00:53:11,838 --> 00:53:14,755
The train trip had increased my appetite,
585
00:53:14,921 --> 00:53:17,296
and soon B and I started a club
586
00:53:17,463 --> 00:53:20,171
that we called "The Little Flock".
587
00:53:21,630 --> 00:53:24,963
Mea vulva, mea maxima vulva.
588
00:53:25,130 --> 00:53:26,338
B, of course, took the lead
589
00:53:26,505 --> 00:53:28,296
as she was the most daring of us.
590
00:53:29,255 --> 00:53:31,880
She was raised Catholic. I'm sure you're familiar
591
00:53:32,046 --> 00:53:34,796
with the practices of the Catholic Church.
592
00:53:34,963 --> 00:53:39,088
mea maxima vulva. Mea vulva, mea...
593
00:53:39,255 --> 00:53:40,713
That's interesting.
594
00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:43,963
Blasphemic, satanic.
595
00:53:45,463 --> 00:53:49,213
The music. The interval between "B" and "F".
596
00:53:49,380 --> 00:53:52,129
It's a triton. The devil's interval.
597
00:53:53,295 --> 00:53:55,670
It was banned from music in the Middle Ages.
598
00:53:57,129 --> 00:53:59,670
Well, the Vacuum Cleaner invented it.
599
00:53:59,837 --> 00:54:01,712
She took piano lessons.
600
00:54:02,545 --> 00:54:03,629
Vacuum Cleaner?
601
00:54:04,004 --> 00:54:07,837
The Vacuum Cleaner possessed
a special talent for floppy cocks.
602
00:54:09,170 --> 00:54:11,962
She had some kind of vacuum in her cunt.
603
00:54:12,504 --> 00:54:14,670
I was imagining something like that.
604
00:54:14,837 --> 00:54:17,587
Fourteenth of the eighth.
605
00:54:17,753 --> 00:54:20,295
I was at a place called The Donkey.
606
00:54:20,462 --> 00:54:23,503
The boys were staring, University hangout.
607
00:54:23,670 --> 00:54:25,587
I approached the stupidest one of the lot
608
00:54:25,753 --> 00:54:28,170
and asked for directions to the underground.
609
00:54:28,337 --> 00:54:30,128
He studied literature.
610
00:54:30,670 --> 00:54:34,170
I told him I read a lot,
and that I really admired people
611
00:54:34,337 --> 00:54:36,587
that chose to study subjects in depth.
612
00:54:37,670 --> 00:54:39,795
As I said, he was very stupid.
613
00:54:39,962 --> 00:54:41,587
Told me all about Kierkegaard.
614
00:54:41,753 --> 00:54:43,420
I nodded, smiled.
615
00:54:43,587 --> 00:54:45,045
Then he asked if we could go elsewhere.
616
00:54:45,212 --> 00:54:48,795
The idiot thought he'd pulled me
after five minutes of his bullshit.
617
00:54:49,378 --> 00:54:51,420
I told him I was on my period,
618
00:54:52,795 --> 00:54:55,462
and I took out his cock and gave him a hand job.
619
00:54:57,628 --> 00:55:00,545
Ugly, little shriveled cock, with a tight foreskin.
620
00:55:02,128 --> 00:55:03,920
When I pulled it back, it sort of collapsed
621
00:55:04,087 --> 00:55:08,045
but it worked in the end.
University boys are disgusting.
622
00:55:08,212 --> 00:55:10,378
And then I jacked him off until he shook
623
00:55:10,545 --> 00:55:13,587
in that way they do, you know. Just before they come.
624
00:55:14,378 --> 00:55:16,378
Then I let go of his cock and got up.
625
00:55:16,545 --> 00:55:20,128
I left him standing up against the wall
626
00:55:20,295 --> 00:55:23,712
with his pants round his ankles looking stunned.
627
00:55:25,670 --> 00:55:29,420
Now, B's message wasn't exactly representational.
628
00:55:29,587 --> 00:55:31,878
She just had to be the tough one.
629
00:55:33,795 --> 00:55:35,462
It was directed at the men.
630
00:55:36,670 --> 00:55:40,420
It was about fucking,
and about having the right to be horny.
631
00:55:41,753 --> 00:55:44,837
We masturbated together, that kind of thing.
632
00:55:46,420 --> 00:55:47,962
But it was rebellious.
633
00:55:50,503 --> 00:55:51,878
We weren't allowed to have boyfriends.
634
00:55:52,045 --> 00:55:54,503
No fucking the same guy more than once.
635
00:55:55,087 --> 00:55:59,795
You said you were rebellious.
What did you rebel against?
636
00:56:00,295 --> 00:56:01,128
Love.
637
00:56:03,170 --> 00:56:04,045
Love?
638
00:56:04,712 --> 00:56:08,462
We were committed to combat the love-fixated society.
639
00:56:27,878 --> 00:56:30,420
I really believed in our Little Flock.
640
00:56:30,587 --> 00:56:33,087
But of course, that was naive of me.
641
00:56:33,712 --> 00:56:36,503
Over time, even the strongest
642
00:56:36,670 --> 00:56:39,045
couldn't stay true to our manifest.
643
00:56:39,212 --> 00:56:43,128
Third of the fifth. My third intercourse this week,
644
00:56:43,295 --> 00:56:45,087
- again with Alex.
- Third?
645
00:56:47,795 --> 00:56:50,545
Haven't we stated that we fuck each guy once?
646
00:56:51,003 --> 00:56:53,587
Yes, but he was rather sweet.
647
00:56:54,545 --> 00:56:55,587
Sweet?
648
00:56:56,420 --> 00:56:59,628
- Well, you know, sexy.
- Well, then, say sexy.
649
00:57:01,753 --> 00:57:03,128
He squeezed my earlobes.
650
00:57:03,295 --> 00:57:06,503
Earlobes? Great. What else did he squeeze?
651
00:57:09,628 --> 00:57:12,962
I don't think you can understand Alex.
652
00:57:13,587 --> 00:57:14,962
I don't want to.
653
00:57:15,128 --> 00:57:17,462
- Our relationship...
- Relationship.
654
00:57:17,628 --> 00:57:18,795
There you are.
655
00:57:19,962 --> 00:57:23,503
The way you're describing it,
which should be full of lust,
656
00:57:23,670 --> 00:57:26,587
is just a nauseating analysis of his future abilities
657
00:57:26,753 --> 00:57:28,670
as a father to your child.
658
00:57:28,837 --> 00:57:32,670
You think you know everything about sex.
659
00:57:36,587 --> 00:57:40,545
The secret ingredient to sex is love.
660
00:57:46,544 --> 00:57:51,169
For me, love was just lust with jealousy added.
661
00:57:51,960 --> 00:57:54,169
Everything else was total nonsense.
662
00:57:54,877 --> 00:57:58,669
For every 100 crimes committed in the name of love,
663
00:57:59,127 --> 00:58:01,752
only one is committed in the name of sex.
664
00:58:03,377 --> 00:58:04,585
That's quite a statement.
665
00:58:04,919 --> 00:58:09,085
Well, it all strengthened
my wish for a serious education.
666
00:58:34,169 --> 00:58:36,127
Glasgow.
667
00:58:39,752 --> 00:58:40,835
Aberdeen.
668
00:58:42,794 --> 00:58:44,294
Why are you smiling?
669
00:58:45,044 --> 00:58:47,210
Well, I just pictured
670
00:58:47,377 --> 00:58:50,377
how an education would be
conveyed in your storytelling.
671
00:58:51,585 --> 00:58:53,460
Well, that's nothing to smile about.
672
00:58:54,502 --> 00:58:55,960
Oh, I understand that.
673
00:58:57,585 --> 00:58:59,710
So what kind of education did you get?
674
00:59:00,585 --> 00:59:03,794
I began studying medicine, like my father.
675
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:07,919
Today we are going to perform
the procedure that's called an abortion.
676
00:59:08,085 --> 00:59:12,252
We open up our cervical channel to enter the uterus,
677
00:59:12,419 --> 00:59:14,585
and to get access to the fetus,
678
00:59:14,752 --> 00:59:17,877
for which we use the so-called Hegal sticks.
679
00:59:18,044 --> 00:59:22,169
We enter the vagina tract,
and go into the cervical channel.
680
00:59:23,210 --> 00:59:25,002
We start with a small sized stick
681
00:59:25,169 --> 00:59:28,085
to cause a minimum of damage to the tissue.
682
00:59:28,460 --> 00:59:31,544
And then we increase the size of the stick.
683
00:59:31,919 --> 00:59:34,877
But it was harder and harder for me to concentrate,
684
00:59:35,044 --> 00:59:39,294
so I studied less and less,
till finally I dropped out.
685
00:59:41,502 --> 00:59:45,377
My dad was very disappointed when I stopped.
686
00:59:46,294 --> 00:59:48,752
But it was the only time I saw my mother really smile
687
00:59:48,919 --> 00:59:51,919
when she said, "What did I tell you?".
688
00:59:55,169 --> 00:59:57,710
So instead, I began to look for a job.
689
00:59:59,377 --> 01:00:02,002
It turned out it was hard to get a job
690
01:00:02,169 --> 01:00:04,794
that paid even halfway decently.
691
01:00:05,877 --> 01:00:08,752
I didn't really know how to do anything.
692
01:00:09,210 --> 01:00:12,210
So I didn't have high hopes
when I applied for a position
693
01:00:12,377 --> 01:00:15,044
as an assistant at a printing house.
694
01:00:16,169 --> 01:00:18,460
So, could you tell me a little bit more
695
01:00:18,627 --> 01:00:21,627
about your background?
696
01:00:21,794 --> 01:00:23,419
Um...
697
01:00:23,627 --> 01:00:26,919
- Education-wise.
- Oh.
698
01:00:27,085 --> 01:00:32,419
Well, I finished high school,
and decided to study medicine.
699
01:00:33,252 --> 01:00:35,252
But I didn't finish.
700
01:00:35,419 --> 01:00:37,919
I know it sounds a bit pointless coming here.
701
01:00:38,085 --> 01:00:40,502
- Right.
- I just really need a job.
702
01:00:40,669 --> 01:00:42,544
And I've tried everywhere.
703
01:00:42,710 --> 01:00:46,335
I don't usually give jobs
to people just because they need one.
704
01:00:47,752 --> 01:00:52,210
What about secretarial skills?
Do you have any of those?
705
01:00:52,377 --> 01:00:54,960
No, I didn't think you needed skills.
706
01:00:56,752 --> 01:00:59,419
You didn't think you needed skills for this position
707
01:00:59,585 --> 01:01:01,960
- as a secretary?
- No.
708
01:01:02,460 --> 01:01:04,294
Can you open an envelope?
709
01:01:04,919 --> 01:01:07,960
Yes, I... Yes, I think I can open an envelope.
710
01:01:08,127 --> 01:01:10,127
Well, I'm glad to hear that.
711
01:01:11,377 --> 01:01:15,919
I shall discuss this conversation
with Mr. Jerome, my boss.
712
01:01:18,585 --> 01:01:21,668
Do you think there's a chance?
713
01:01:22,668 --> 01:01:25,627
- I doubt it.
- Oh.
714
01:01:45,376 --> 01:01:49,834
Well, apparently, having absolutely no experience
715
01:01:50,626 --> 01:01:52,417
is absolutely fine for this job.
716
01:01:52,792 --> 01:01:53,959
You've got it.
717
01:01:56,792 --> 01:01:58,876
Does that mean I should start tomorrow?
718
01:01:59,751 --> 01:02:01,334
Yeah, I suppose it does.
719
01:02:03,626 --> 01:02:05,584
- Good morning.
- Right.
720
01:02:12,876 --> 01:02:15,126
Yes?
721
01:02:18,417 --> 01:02:20,209
- Good morning, sir.
- Good morning.
722
01:02:20,376 --> 01:02:22,834
I just wanted to introduce you
to our new junior secretary.
723
01:02:23,001 --> 01:02:25,709
Joe? I believe you wanted to explain her work duties.
724
01:02:25,876 --> 01:02:27,376
- Hi.
- This is the new junior secretary.
725
01:02:27,542 --> 01:02:29,001
Liz, can I have another coffee?
726
01:02:29,167 --> 01:02:30,459
- Yes, of course, sir.
- Thank you.
727
01:02:33,834 --> 01:02:34,667
Hi.
728
01:02:38,792 --> 01:02:41,792
- Jerome.
- Your first love.
729
01:02:47,792 --> 01:02:50,084
I bet you didn't think
I'd make something of myself, right?
730
01:02:50,459 --> 01:02:51,917
And now, here I sit.
731
01:02:52,084 --> 01:02:54,292
The director's chair of M & J Morris, Ltd.
732
01:02:58,626 --> 01:03:00,709
- Yeah, it's quite surprising.
- Surprising?
733
01:03:01,501 --> 01:03:03,042
It's a sign from God.
734
01:03:07,959 --> 01:03:09,792
You know, I've thought about you often since then.
735
01:03:11,584 --> 01:03:13,251
Have you thought of me?
736
01:03:16,167 --> 01:03:18,417
- Well...
- What?
737
01:03:19,334 --> 01:03:21,792
Usually, you know, my uncle sits here.
738
01:03:21,959 --> 01:03:23,417
But he's developed a bit of a tummy problem,
739
01:03:23,584 --> 01:03:25,126
so he's at the spa, taking long baths,
740
01:03:25,292 --> 01:03:28,542
drinking lots of water,
poor guy. And no one knows for how long.
741
01:03:28,709 --> 01:03:32,001
So now I'm the "J" in M & J Morris, Ltd.
742
01:03:32,167 --> 01:03:33,501
How about that?
743
01:03:33,959 --> 01:03:36,792
We print cards and envelopes, nonsense like that.
744
01:03:37,626 --> 01:03:39,334
It's a bloody complicated business, you know.
745
01:03:39,501 --> 01:03:40,917
I don't understand a word of it.
746
01:03:42,167 --> 01:03:44,792
Come, I'll show you around. Yes?
747
01:03:44,959 --> 01:03:46,459
- Ladies?
- Yes, sir.
748
01:03:46,626 --> 01:03:48,667
Oh, look, there you are. Good job.
749
01:03:48,834 --> 01:03:51,042
Every time you do a good job, I say, "Good job, Liz".
750
01:03:51,209 --> 01:03:52,876
- Thank you, sir.
- What's her name?
751
01:03:53,042 --> 01:03:54,709
- Liz.
- Good job, Liz.
752
01:03:54,876 --> 01:03:56,917
- Good job, Liz.
- Good job, Liz.
753
01:04:15,751 --> 01:04:17,001
It stopped.
754
01:04:17,459 --> 01:04:18,876
Fuck.
755
01:04:22,417 --> 01:04:23,459
Yes.
756
01:04:25,417 --> 01:04:27,876
- Well, isn't there an alarm?
- Which?
757
01:04:28,542 --> 01:04:30,792
- Isn't there...
- Alarm, right, yes.
758
01:04:30,959 --> 01:04:33,709
Good thinking.
759
01:04:37,167 --> 01:04:38,251
Imagine...
760
01:04:39,167 --> 01:04:41,584
you look just as great all these years later.
761
01:04:42,126 --> 01:04:43,251
Oh, no.
762
01:04:47,459 --> 01:04:49,917
- No.
- No?
763
01:04:52,084 --> 01:04:53,542
No, Jerome, this won't work.
764
01:04:53,709 --> 01:04:56,292
- Which won't work?
- This.
765
01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:00,042
Why not?
766
01:05:01,209 --> 01:05:02,584
You're not really my type.
767
01:05:05,250 --> 01:05:06,417
That's how it's gonna be?
768
01:05:07,209 --> 01:05:09,167
- Yes.
- All right.
769
01:05:15,792 --> 01:05:17,042
Fuck's sake.
770
01:05:26,874 --> 01:05:27,833
Okay.
771
01:05:37,791 --> 01:05:39,249
Um...
772
01:05:39,458 --> 01:05:40,708
Give me your hand.
773
01:05:41,791 --> 01:05:43,833
We'll do fireman's grip.
774
01:05:45,874 --> 01:05:47,374
- You okay?
- Yeah.
775
01:05:50,708 --> 01:05:52,166
Why didn't you have sex with him?
776
01:05:54,333 --> 01:05:56,624
You must have had sex in a lift before.
777
01:05:58,833 --> 01:06:02,624
I'm not quite sure. I've shagged lots of idiots.
778
01:06:02,791 --> 01:06:05,416
Including worse idiots than him.
779
01:06:07,583 --> 01:06:08,999
Of course, I...
780
01:06:09,166 --> 01:06:12,166
I regretted that it had been him back then.
781
01:06:13,208 --> 01:06:15,666
But that's just sentimental drivel.
782
01:06:15,833 --> 01:06:17,124
And I'm not sentimental.
783
01:06:18,416 --> 01:06:20,208
I suppose he fired you then.
784
01:06:20,374 --> 01:06:23,791
No. If he had fired me, then he would have lost.
785
01:06:27,124 --> 01:06:28,708
As I didn't recall anyone
786
01:06:28,874 --> 01:06:30,583
having defined my work duties,
787
01:06:30,749 --> 01:06:34,499
I decided to clean up in order to smooth the waters.
788
01:06:42,374 --> 01:06:43,583
Good morning, sir.
789
01:06:43,749 --> 01:06:45,749
- Any calls?
- No, sir.
790
01:06:52,166 --> 01:06:56,041
- What have you done?
- Oh. I cleaned up.
791
01:06:56,583 --> 01:06:58,291
You cleaned up.
792
01:06:59,374 --> 01:07:00,791
- It was quite messy, and...
- Liz?
793
01:07:00,958 --> 01:07:03,791
- Yes, sir?
- She cleaned up.
794
01:07:04,416 --> 01:07:06,541
I know, I... I didn't know, sir.
795
01:07:06,708 --> 01:07:08,833
- I was away from my desk.
- Are you completely mad?
796
01:07:15,708 --> 01:07:17,749
What is the tea and pastry doing here?
797
01:07:18,416 --> 01:07:19,541
I thought that's what you wanted for...
798
01:07:19,708 --> 01:07:22,833
You thought? You're not supposed to think.
799
01:07:22,999 --> 01:07:25,249
I don't pay you to think, do I? This is a do-over.
800
01:07:25,416 --> 01:07:26,791
- A do-over...
- Right.
801
01:07:26,958 --> 01:07:29,708
Pick it up. Take it outside. And do it again.
802
01:07:42,083 --> 01:07:44,333
One moment.
803
01:07:52,708 --> 01:07:53,999
Come in.
804
01:07:57,208 --> 01:07:59,333
Would now be a good time for some tea and cake?
805
01:07:59,499 --> 01:08:00,791
Sure, why not?
806
01:08:03,708 --> 01:08:05,041
Where the fuck's my cake fork?
807
01:08:05,458 --> 01:08:07,041
- Cake fork?
- Right.
808
01:08:07,374 --> 01:08:11,916
Well, I would have got you one,
but it just... feels inappropriate.
809
01:08:29,499 --> 01:08:31,291
Unmanly.
810
01:08:31,457 --> 01:08:32,749
Feminine.
811
01:08:32,916 --> 01:08:34,707
Well, on the other hand,
812
01:08:34,874 --> 01:08:38,957
you must say that a cake fork
is a rather practical tool.
813
01:08:40,874 --> 01:08:44,166
It's like a cross between a knife and a fork.
814
01:08:44,791 --> 01:08:46,791
The point is that you're supposed to be able
815
01:08:46,957 --> 01:08:48,791
to hold the cake dish with one hand
816
01:08:48,957 --> 01:08:50,624
and then cut it with the other.
817
01:08:51,332 --> 01:08:54,457
And then eat it with the fork.
818
01:08:54,832 --> 01:08:57,707
It's not feminine, it's at least bourgeois.
819
01:08:58,624 --> 01:09:00,916
It's said that the Bolsheviks,
820
01:09:01,082 --> 01:09:03,082
during their rampage through Russia,
821
01:09:03,249 --> 01:09:04,791
to separate the men from the boys,
822
01:09:04,957 --> 01:09:07,707
or rather the bourgeoisie from the proletariat,
823
01:09:07,874 --> 01:09:10,873
they brought a boy, and before burning down a house
824
01:09:11,040 --> 01:09:14,581
they sent him in to make sure they had cake forks.
825
01:09:19,331 --> 01:09:22,248
That's not true.
826
01:09:24,581 --> 01:09:26,623
I don't have the story first-hand.
827
01:09:26,790 --> 01:09:28,081
Hello.
828
01:09:28,998 --> 01:09:30,706
- Hi.
- Hi.
829
01:09:30,873 --> 01:09:33,206
I was wondering if you could help me.
830
01:09:33,373 --> 01:09:36,831
It's suddenly gone very dirty. See, yes?
831
01:09:36,998 --> 01:09:40,373
See, you've got your dirty fingers on there.
832
01:09:40,540 --> 01:09:42,456
Maybe we should wash your hands.
833
01:09:42,623 --> 01:09:44,081
Yeah, better.
834
01:09:46,581 --> 01:09:48,081
Mm-hmm.
835
01:09:48,290 --> 01:09:50,873
- You must be very talented.
- Yeah, sure.
836
01:09:51,040 --> 01:09:51,790
Hmm.
837
01:09:52,540 --> 01:09:55,415
You see, here's got a stain.
838
01:10:07,498 --> 01:10:09,123
If you'd asked Jerome, he would have said
839
01:10:09,290 --> 01:10:11,415
that I was the one who'd declared war.
840
01:10:13,956 --> 01:10:18,165
Many times he'd take me
into town just so I could hold his coat.
841
01:10:19,040 --> 01:10:21,040
- There.
- Where?
842
01:10:21,206 --> 01:10:23,165
There, behind the green car.
843
01:10:25,706 --> 01:10:28,081
- It's not big enough.
- It is, there's plenty of space.
844
01:10:31,415 --> 01:10:33,331
I saw it, it's not enough space.
845
01:10:33,498 --> 01:10:35,748
I'm telling you, there's plenty of space.
846
01:10:48,498 --> 01:10:51,873
No. It's too small a space for such a long car.
847
01:10:54,748 --> 01:10:56,331
Can I try?
848
01:10:57,956 --> 01:11:01,206
- Can you try?
- I'm a wizard at this.
849
01:11:01,373 --> 01:11:02,748
I just tried, it's not enough space, Joe.
850
01:11:02,915 --> 01:11:05,623
You just saw me do it. It's not enough space, okay?
851
01:11:06,498 --> 01:11:09,415
- Can I try?
- Fuck. You want to try?
852
01:11:11,998 --> 01:11:13,123
Why not?
853
01:11:28,040 --> 01:11:29,415
Stupid.
854
01:12:08,373 --> 01:12:11,498
It was about this time that a dramatic change
855
01:12:11,664 --> 01:12:13,581
happened inside of me.
856
01:12:14,998 --> 01:12:19,539
I could suddenly see a kind of order in the mess.
857
01:12:30,956 --> 01:12:33,164
Are you just standing here looking?
858
01:12:35,956 --> 01:12:38,664
Yeah. I've begun to like his mess.
859
01:12:39,456 --> 01:12:41,081
How do you mean?
860
01:12:42,498 --> 01:12:45,456
Well, these are all things placed by Jerome.
861
01:12:46,123 --> 01:12:47,998
I mean, by Jerome's hands.
862
01:12:48,873 --> 01:12:52,456
Sounds to me like you would
like to be handled by Mr. Jerome.
863
01:12:54,331 --> 01:12:56,581
Darling, you're in love with him.
864
01:13:01,538 --> 01:13:03,913
It was all very, very wrong.
865
01:13:05,330 --> 01:13:07,913
I wanted to be one of Jerome's things.
866
01:13:08,747 --> 01:13:13,372
I wanted to be picked up and put down, again and again.
867
01:13:14,747 --> 01:13:17,163
I wanted to be treated by his hands
868
01:13:17,330 --> 01:13:20,288
according to some sophisticated principle
869
01:13:20,455 --> 01:13:22,538
that I didn't understand.
870
01:13:23,122 --> 01:13:24,747
His strong hands?
871
01:13:24,913 --> 01:13:28,705
Yes, but now it was no longer just about his hands.
872
01:13:28,872 --> 01:13:32,122
It's as if everything about him was different,
873
01:13:32,955 --> 01:13:35,997
which, of course, it wasn't and I knew that in my head.
874
01:13:36,163 --> 01:13:39,872
And I scolded myself for seeing him in this new light.
875
01:13:40,830 --> 01:13:44,872
- Love is blind.
- No, no, no, it's worse.
876
01:13:45,913 --> 01:13:47,705
Love distorts things.
877
01:13:48,663 --> 01:13:51,413
Or even worse... love is something
878
01:13:51,580 --> 01:13:53,247
you've never asked for.
879
01:13:54,705 --> 01:13:58,872
The erotic was something
I asked for, or even demanded of men.
880
01:13:59,038 --> 01:14:01,788
But this idiotic love...
881
01:14:03,622 --> 01:14:05,663
I felt humiliated by it,
882
01:14:06,330 --> 01:14:09,038
and all the dishonesty that follows.
883
01:14:11,580 --> 01:14:13,872
The erotic is about saying yes.
884
01:14:15,622 --> 01:14:18,622
Love appeals to the lowest instincts,
885
01:14:18,788 --> 01:14:20,705
wrapped up in lies.
886
01:14:21,455 --> 01:14:25,288
How do you say "yes" when you mean "no", and vice versa.
887
01:14:29,080 --> 01:14:31,413
I'm ashamed of what I became.
888
01:14:32,705 --> 01:14:34,413
But it was beyond my control.
889
01:14:36,538 --> 01:14:40,788
- You know what you're doing now?
- No, what am I doing?
890
01:14:41,330 --> 01:14:43,580
You're defending your personality.
891
01:14:44,372 --> 01:14:46,705
I thought the point was to reveal it.
892
01:14:58,830 --> 01:15:02,997
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
893
01:15:05,247 --> 01:15:06,872
Thank you meaning, "That's all".
894
01:15:10,622 --> 01:15:14,122
You can go now. Goodbye, Joe.
895
01:15:28,246 --> 01:15:31,663
At this time, I took up walking again.
896
01:15:31,830 --> 01:15:33,246
You walked in the forest?
897
01:15:33,413 --> 01:15:35,871
Yes, I walked in the forest.
898
01:15:41,246 --> 01:15:43,830
The forest of my childhood.
899
01:15:45,038 --> 01:15:48,080
I took the same walk again and again.
900
01:15:48,663 --> 01:15:51,538
Right turn after the gatehouse,
901
01:15:51,705 --> 01:15:54,413
and right again by the ash tree,
902
01:15:54,580 --> 01:15:57,288
which has the most beautiful leaves in the forest,
903
01:15:58,955 --> 01:16:02,496
and further on, past a lady with her poodle,
904
01:16:02,663 --> 01:16:05,413
and the old man on the bench.
905
01:16:12,746 --> 01:16:15,830
I couldn't free myself of the image of Jerome
906
01:16:15,996 --> 01:16:17,955
and his careless elegance.
907
01:16:23,371 --> 01:16:27,871
And during this time, when I was with other men,
908
01:16:28,663 --> 01:16:32,038
I forbade them to touch my body with their hands.
909
01:16:35,663 --> 01:16:39,330
And soon, I stopped having sex altogether.
910
01:16:41,413 --> 01:16:43,746
I tried to meet him all the time.
911
01:16:44,288 --> 01:16:46,496
I found out where he lived,
912
01:16:47,162 --> 01:16:49,870
but of course, never dared ring his doorbell.
913
01:16:53,495 --> 01:16:56,662
I even started humiliating myself on purpose
914
01:16:56,829 --> 01:16:58,954
in order for him to notice me.
915
01:17:19,204 --> 01:17:21,079
You broke a taillight.
916
01:17:22,662 --> 01:17:23,745
I did.
917
01:17:25,120 --> 01:17:27,329
I thought you were such a wizard at parking.
918
01:17:28,412 --> 01:17:29,579
So did I.
919
01:17:30,579 --> 01:17:32,537
It'll be deducted from your salary.
920
01:17:35,995 --> 01:17:37,495
It's a long car.
921
01:17:41,162 --> 01:17:43,870
I worked for a long time on a letter
922
01:17:44,037 --> 01:17:46,829
in which I told him about my feelings for him,
923
01:17:46,995 --> 01:17:49,787
but couldn't bring myself to hand it over.
924
01:17:52,537 --> 01:17:54,287
- Bye.
- Bye.
925
01:17:54,954 --> 01:17:56,370
A month would pass
926
01:17:56,537 --> 01:18:00,412
before I had built up enough courage to deliver it.
927
01:18:25,495 --> 01:18:27,745
Well, I've written him a letter after all.
928
01:18:29,662 --> 01:18:32,954
Do you think that the letter is a bad idea?
929
01:18:35,704 --> 01:18:38,037
No, I think it's the right thing to do.
930
01:18:38,495 --> 01:18:43,704
I'm just... I think maybe you should wait until Friday.
931
01:18:43,870 --> 01:18:44,953
Why?
932
01:18:45,912 --> 01:18:47,995
He's always in a good mood on Fridays.
933
01:18:49,370 --> 01:18:50,537
Okay.
934
01:19:10,120 --> 01:19:14,078
I'm sorry, isn't this... Jerome's office?
935
01:19:14,245 --> 01:19:17,912
I'm happy to say that this never has been
936
01:19:18,078 --> 01:19:20,370
and never will be Jerome's office.
937
01:19:20,870 --> 01:19:24,953
My nephew has been standing
in for me while I've been unwell.
938
01:19:25,453 --> 01:19:28,412
What's that? A letter for him?
939
01:19:29,620 --> 01:19:30,412
Yes.
940
01:19:30,578 --> 01:19:33,703
Give it to me and I'll make sure he gets it.
941
01:19:38,328 --> 01:19:42,245
Can't promise when that might be because he's long gone.
942
01:19:43,495 --> 01:19:46,828
How the young finance their irrepressible desire
943
01:19:46,995 --> 01:19:48,745
for travel is a mystery to me.
944
01:19:49,787 --> 01:19:52,828
- So he's gone?
- Deserted us, yes.
945
01:19:54,287 --> 01:19:56,495
Raving about a trip around the world,
946
01:19:56,662 --> 01:19:59,037
- and married, and all.
- Married?
947
01:19:59,662 --> 01:20:00,870
Marriage, yes.
948
01:20:01,953 --> 01:20:04,328
Flown the coop with my secretary.
949
01:20:05,287 --> 01:20:06,162
Liz.
950
01:20:14,328 --> 01:20:15,912
And your job?
951
01:20:16,412 --> 01:20:18,578
Well, it turned out that Jerome's uncle
952
01:20:18,745 --> 01:20:22,245
demanded a bit more knowledge about the business, so...
953
01:20:22,412 --> 01:20:23,245
I see.
954
01:20:24,578 --> 01:20:26,953
Well, as for evidence of you being a bad human being,
955
01:20:27,120 --> 01:20:29,120
there wasn't much to go on in this chapter.
956
01:20:29,287 --> 01:20:33,412
Yes, as I said. At least superficially.
957
01:20:34,828 --> 01:20:37,786
- I suppose you were jealous.
- No, I wasn't jealous.
958
01:20:37,952 --> 01:20:39,286
I didn't know that feeling.
959
01:20:40,786 --> 01:20:43,452
It's almost superhuman not to feel jealousy.
960
01:20:44,911 --> 01:20:46,827
Well, that was the end of love, then?
961
01:20:48,827 --> 01:20:51,577
Well, maybe not quite as simple.
962
01:20:53,161 --> 01:20:57,952
But more about that later, as they say in the novels.
963
01:20:58,327 --> 01:21:00,994
And Jerome just disappeared?
964
01:21:02,286 --> 01:21:07,202
Yes. Though I'd tried
to keep him in my own way, mentally,
965
01:21:07,369 --> 01:21:11,036
as I masturbated on the train amongst other people.
966
01:21:13,369 --> 01:21:15,452
You masturbated on the train, on the seat?
967
01:21:15,619 --> 01:21:18,536
- Yes, of course.
- And that's possible?
968
01:21:18,702 --> 01:21:22,619
Easily. You just put your coat in your lap.
969
01:21:22,786 --> 01:21:26,994
It can be done silently without expression.
970
01:21:27,161 --> 01:21:29,036
The only thing that could give me away
971
01:21:29,202 --> 01:21:33,119
and mostly to women, was my open mouth when I came.
972
01:21:47,452 --> 01:21:49,994
I did a jigsaw puzzle.
973
01:21:50,161 --> 01:21:52,202
A jigsaw puzzle?
974
01:21:56,327 --> 01:21:59,327
I found details in the other passengers
975
01:21:59,494 --> 01:22:01,661
that reminded me of Jerome.
976
01:22:56,369 --> 01:22:57,994
But in the long run,
977
01:22:58,160 --> 01:23:00,327
I couldn't hold onto the details of him,
978
01:23:00,494 --> 01:23:02,910
no matter how hard I tried.
979
01:23:03,785 --> 01:23:05,410
So, you could say that in a way,
980
01:23:05,577 --> 01:23:09,077
Jerome followed you as a kind of silhouette.
981
01:23:09,244 --> 01:23:12,785
Yes, but gradually disappearing as a sexual being.
982
01:23:12,952 --> 01:23:17,994
Maybe that's how it is with memory.
You remember silhouettes.
983
01:23:18,160 --> 01:23:19,869
The essentials.
984
01:23:20,035 --> 01:23:22,952
But that's not necessarily a bad thing.
985
01:23:27,119 --> 01:23:29,202
Of course there's silhouettes in the winter.
986
01:23:29,369 --> 01:23:31,494
The trees are difficult to tell apart.
987
01:23:31,660 --> 01:23:33,077
These buds...
988
01:23:33,244 --> 01:23:34,994
My father wrestled courageously
989
01:23:35,160 --> 01:23:38,160
with his flora and tree type guides.
990
01:23:39,869 --> 01:23:41,244
It's actually...
991
01:23:43,452 --> 01:23:47,119
the souls of the trees we see in the winter.
992
01:23:47,744 --> 01:23:49,369
In summer, everything's green and idyllic,
993
01:23:49,535 --> 01:23:54,202
but in the winter, the branches
and the trunks, they all stand out.
994
01:23:54,369 --> 01:23:56,619
Look at how crooked they all are.
995
01:23:58,535 --> 01:24:01,619
The branches have to carry all
of the leaves into the sunlight.
996
01:24:03,119 --> 01:24:06,077
It's one long struggle for survival.
997
01:24:09,285 --> 01:24:12,160
My father surprised me by calling the naked trunks
998
01:24:12,327 --> 01:24:14,535
the souls of the trees.
999
01:24:15,285 --> 01:24:17,910
A poetic thought that was rare for him,
1000
01:24:18,077 --> 01:24:21,744
as by his own account,
he preferred the empirical sciences.
1001
01:24:25,493 --> 01:24:27,034
And after Jerome?
1002
01:24:28,368 --> 01:24:30,909
I reacted, um...
1003
01:24:31,076 --> 01:24:34,451
Well, let's just say... aggressively.
1004
01:24:35,493 --> 01:24:40,034
- How?
- By intensifying my hunt for men.
1005
01:24:42,826 --> 01:24:44,784
You know these supermarket doors
1006
01:24:44,951 --> 01:24:47,868
that open and close by way of some kind of sensor?
1007
01:24:48,701 --> 01:24:51,368
Now compare these doors to my cunt,
1008
01:24:51,534 --> 01:24:54,826
and add an extraordinarily sensitive sensor.
1009
01:24:56,951 --> 01:25:00,576
My sensitive door opening gave me an opportunity
1010
01:25:00,743 --> 01:25:05,534
to develop my morphological studies
from knees to genitals.
1011
01:25:10,576 --> 01:25:15,409
I embarked on a trip through,
what, in the lingo of children's books,
1012
01:25:15,576 --> 01:25:19,409
one might call, "The Country of the Big, Bad Cocks".
1013
01:25:21,993 --> 01:25:25,951
"The Country of the Small Yellow Cocks", and so on.
1014
01:25:26,659 --> 01:25:28,743
And most of all, I battled my way
1015
01:25:28,909 --> 01:25:31,743
through an untold number of circumcised cocks.
1016
01:25:33,576 --> 01:25:36,326
By the way, did you know that if you combine
1017
01:25:36,493 --> 01:25:39,076
all the foreskin cut off through history,
1018
01:25:39,243 --> 01:25:42,201
it would reach to Mars and back again?
1019
01:26:01,367 --> 01:26:02,826
"Mrs. H".
1020
01:26:18,367 --> 01:26:21,284
By now, I had built up a sizable circle of men,
1021
01:26:21,451 --> 01:26:25,076
and was starting to have trouble
remembering who was who.
1022
01:26:25,242 --> 01:26:27,117
Hello, sweetheart. Want to meet?
1023
01:26:27,284 --> 01:26:28,742
It's Fisher.
1024
01:26:28,992 --> 01:26:31,701
I'm lying here thinking of you and what you said.
1025
01:26:31,951 --> 01:26:33,826
I'm not angry at all if that's what you're thinking.
1026
01:26:34,117 --> 01:26:36,492
Hi, Joe. It's Rob again.
1027
01:26:36,659 --> 01:26:38,159
I had a really good time seeing you.
1028
01:26:38,367 --> 01:26:39,742
Give me a... Give me a call.
1029
01:26:39,909 --> 01:26:41,826
Hi, Joe.
1030
01:26:41,992 --> 01:26:44,242
I left a couple of messages. Is everything all right?
1031
01:26:44,409 --> 01:26:46,951
I quickly gave up trying to remember
1032
01:26:47,117 --> 01:26:51,659
the individual relationships. It was impossible.
1033
01:26:51,826 --> 01:26:55,242
And impossible to predict what they wanted to hear.
1034
01:26:56,534 --> 01:26:58,451
So I invented a method.
1035
01:27:01,951 --> 01:27:04,326
It was all based on chance.
1036
01:27:07,784 --> 01:27:10,784
A one meant an overly loving answer.
1037
01:27:14,201 --> 01:27:17,409
A two, not quite as passionate, but still positive.
1038
01:27:18,159 --> 01:27:21,284
And so on, up to five, which was a complete rejection.
1039
01:27:21,451 --> 01:27:24,284
And six, no answer at all.
1040
01:27:26,909 --> 01:27:30,784
The trick with this method
was that I didn't have to worry about
1041
01:27:30,951 --> 01:27:32,867
the individual relationships,
1042
01:27:33,034 --> 01:27:36,076
but instead became completely unpredictable,
1043
01:27:36,242 --> 01:27:39,409
which, of course, drove the men even wilder.
1044
01:27:41,492 --> 01:27:43,076
Hey, Eddie, it's me.
1045
01:27:43,242 --> 01:27:44,951
Listen, I've given this a lot of thought,
1046
01:27:45,117 --> 01:27:48,201
and I've come to the conclusion that we're done. Bye.
1047
01:27:49,492 --> 01:27:52,409
I was just wondering if you wanted to come back,
1048
01:27:52,576 --> 01:27:54,617
and maybe we can do something nice.
1049
01:27:54,784 --> 01:27:57,367
Hi, Patrick, it's Joe.
1050
01:27:57,534 --> 01:28:00,992
I had a really lovely time with you,
and I'd love for you to come back.
1051
01:28:01,159 --> 01:28:04,326
If you're interested, let me know. Bye.
1052
01:28:04,492 --> 01:28:08,409
I really don't think we match,
and you're quite annoying,
1053
01:28:09,284 --> 01:28:12,826
so I don't want to see you anymore.
Please don't call back.
1054
01:28:13,826 --> 01:28:15,741
That sounds rather stressful.
1055
01:28:15,908 --> 01:28:17,741
Yes, actually, it was.
1056
01:28:17,908 --> 01:28:21,825
But fortunately, I had my little book of comfort.
1057
01:28:23,491 --> 01:28:28,950
When I needed comfort or peace,
I took out my herbarium
1058
01:28:29,116 --> 01:28:30,991
and looked at my favorite leaves.
1059
01:28:31,158 --> 01:28:35,575
Ash, trembling aspen and lime.
1060
01:28:43,616 --> 01:28:45,866
When you're dealing with a larger group of lovers
1061
01:28:46,033 --> 01:28:50,616
as I was, there will typically
be a difference in their qualities.
1062
01:28:50,908 --> 01:28:53,075
H was a sticky bastard.
1063
01:28:53,241 --> 01:28:57,241
I had invited A for dinner, as he was my favorite,
1064
01:28:57,408 --> 01:29:01,575
while H, who was present, had become quite irritating.
1065
01:29:01,741 --> 01:29:03,908
You have to leave. I've got guests for dinner.
1066
01:29:04,075 --> 01:29:05,783
But he's not coming until seven.
1067
01:29:06,950 --> 01:29:10,158
No. But seven isn't that far away.
1068
01:29:18,616 --> 01:29:20,283
Do you love me?
1069
01:29:22,824 --> 01:29:25,449
A was to arrive at seven,
1070
01:29:25,616 --> 01:29:28,324
and I needed to get H out of there.
1071
01:29:31,116 --> 01:29:32,574
I love you too much.
1072
01:29:34,283 --> 01:29:37,324
You keep promising, but I understand now
1073
01:29:37,491 --> 01:29:41,033
that you'll never leave your family for my sake.
1074
01:29:43,074 --> 01:29:44,866
It's sad, but...
1075
01:29:46,908 --> 01:29:48,074
it's your choice.
1076
01:29:49,908 --> 01:29:53,074
It's not satisfying for me that
I can't have you completely.
1077
01:29:56,699 --> 01:29:59,324
Which is why we can't see each other any longer.
1078
01:30:04,033 --> 01:30:05,074
Goodbye.
1079
01:30:09,616 --> 01:30:10,616
Look...
1080
01:30:15,783 --> 01:30:17,783
Have a nice life.
1081
01:30:43,741 --> 01:30:46,783
My darling, I'm yours.
1082
01:30:47,491 --> 01:30:48,741
I've left her.
1083
01:30:56,991 --> 01:30:59,908
- Has he gone inside?
- Yes.
1084
01:31:01,283 --> 01:31:03,033
Is the door closed?
1085
01:31:15,033 --> 01:31:17,366
- Uh, hello.
- Hello.
1086
01:31:17,533 --> 01:31:20,408
Apologize. We, uh...
1087
01:31:20,574 --> 01:31:23,074
had promised not to come up.
1088
01:31:23,241 --> 01:31:25,991
We just wanted to...
1089
01:31:26,158 --> 01:31:29,491
make sure he got here safely, now that he's...
1090
01:31:29,658 --> 01:31:31,199
made the big decision.
1091
01:31:32,658 --> 01:31:36,408
May the children see him inside?
1092
01:31:36,574 --> 01:31:39,199
They say that the experience of saying goodbye
1093
01:31:39,366 --> 01:31:42,324
can be very useful later when dealing with trauma.
1094
01:31:59,241 --> 01:32:00,533
What a nice place.
1095
01:32:02,033 --> 01:32:04,948
It's, uh... so bohemian.
1096
01:32:06,490 --> 01:32:08,657
We used to have a place like this before we were...
1097
01:32:08,823 --> 01:32:10,532
we were married.
1098
01:32:10,698 --> 01:32:14,157
Before the children, me and my husband.
1099
01:32:15,532 --> 01:32:19,698
Oh, I'm sorry. He isn't anymore, is he?
1100
01:32:20,490 --> 01:32:23,032
It's all so new and confusing.
1101
01:32:27,657 --> 01:32:30,740
He wanted to give us everything, but, uh...
1102
01:32:31,907 --> 01:32:33,948
Of course we couldn't accept that.
1103
01:32:36,198 --> 01:32:37,657
Oh, that's right.
1104
01:32:38,490 --> 01:32:41,323
- You need the car key.
- No, I don't need the car.
1105
01:32:41,490 --> 01:32:43,365
Oh, yes, you do.
1106
01:32:43,532 --> 01:32:45,031
He likes the car.
1107
01:32:46,531 --> 01:32:48,031
Here.
1108
01:32:48,198 --> 01:32:50,073
- Please, just take it.
- I don't want it.
1109
01:32:50,240 --> 01:32:52,948
- Just take it.
- I don't want the fucking car!
1110
01:32:56,823 --> 01:33:00,573
It's all right. We'll get the bus home.
1111
01:33:01,240 --> 01:33:04,240
Children might as well get used
to public transport now, right?
1112
01:33:05,406 --> 01:33:09,156
Of course, their standard
of living won't be the same anymore, but...
1113
01:33:13,573 --> 01:33:15,823
I'm not saying that to bother anyone.
1114
01:33:16,823 --> 01:33:18,406
One has to be realistic.
1115
01:33:22,615 --> 01:33:23,865
Hey.
1116
01:33:26,031 --> 01:33:27,198
What's this?
1117
01:33:27,365 --> 01:33:29,281
It's a present.
1118
01:33:30,198 --> 01:33:33,365
A pillow he has embroidered himself.
1119
01:33:34,948 --> 01:33:36,781
- And who's it for?
- Daddy.
1120
01:33:38,823 --> 01:33:40,906
I do hope it's all right if the children
1121
01:33:41,073 --> 01:33:42,406
call their father "Daddy" here.
1122
01:33:42,573 --> 01:33:46,115
If you prefer, they can call him...
1123
01:33:46,281 --> 01:33:50,281
"him", or simply, "the man".
1124
01:33:50,448 --> 01:33:52,990
Whatever.
1125
01:33:56,906 --> 01:33:58,573
"Whatever".
1126
01:33:59,781 --> 01:34:02,156
Must be hard when you've got everything,
1127
01:34:03,031 --> 01:34:04,573
to know what to say.
1128
01:34:05,698 --> 01:34:07,531
To be honest, my first thought was never,
1129
01:34:07,698 --> 01:34:09,698
ever to let either of you see the children,
1130
01:34:09,865 --> 01:34:12,115
but then I changed my mind.
1131
01:34:12,281 --> 01:34:14,656
I thought it only right
that their father be confronted
1132
01:34:14,823 --> 01:34:17,323
by the little people whose lives he's destroyed.
1133
01:34:19,406 --> 01:34:21,198
Give Daddy your present.
1134
01:34:24,865 --> 01:34:28,031
It's a car the little dear has embroidered.
1135
01:34:29,948 --> 01:34:32,656
I'm aware that not everyone can see it, but...
1136
01:34:32,823 --> 01:34:35,490
with the heart one can see much,
1137
01:34:35,656 --> 01:34:38,990
however unimportant that information may be to you.
1138
01:34:40,865 --> 01:34:45,365
Would it be all right if
I show the children the whoring bed?
1139
01:34:45,531 --> 01:34:49,990
After all, they also had a stake in this event.
1140
01:34:53,698 --> 01:34:55,781
You need to see it. Right?
1141
01:34:56,781 --> 01:34:58,656
Let's go see Daddy's favorite place.
1142
01:34:59,740 --> 01:35:01,906
Come on, boys.
1143
01:35:03,281 --> 01:35:05,198
Oh!
1144
01:35:07,490 --> 01:35:11,573
So this is where it all happened.
1145
01:35:18,073 --> 01:35:21,031
You should try to memorize this room.
1146
01:35:21,656 --> 01:35:23,698
Especially the bed.
1147
01:35:24,281 --> 01:35:26,990
It'll stand you in good stead later in therapy.
1148
01:35:27,156 --> 01:35:28,490
Oh.
1149
01:35:28,656 --> 01:35:31,073
Here I sit rambling on about therapy
1150
01:35:31,240 --> 01:35:33,281
without a thought of what it might cost.
1151
01:35:33,448 --> 01:35:36,490
I do hope you don't think we're here to beg.
1152
01:35:40,323 --> 01:35:41,740
I'm sorry.
1153
01:35:41,906 --> 01:35:44,073
I'm sorry.
1154
01:35:44,240 --> 01:35:46,865
Being silly. Mommy's being silly.
1155
01:35:47,490 --> 01:35:49,948
Let's have a cup of tea.
1156
01:36:08,572 --> 01:36:10,739
Hope it's not too weak.
1157
01:36:10,905 --> 01:36:13,613
Afraid I'm rather nervous.
1158
01:36:19,822 --> 01:36:23,572
The children's father likes
two lumps of sugar in his tea.
1159
01:36:41,905 --> 01:36:43,530
Mm-mm. I'll get it.
1160
01:36:43,738 --> 01:36:45,947
- Mm-mm.
- No, no, please, please.
1161
01:36:48,030 --> 01:36:50,405
- Hello.
- Hello.
1162
01:36:50,572 --> 01:36:52,405
- Yes?
- Uh...
1163
01:36:52,572 --> 01:36:54,947
How nice. Lovely.
1164
01:36:55,113 --> 01:36:58,488
- Boys, come here.
- Is Joe here?
1165
01:36:58,655 --> 01:36:59,822
This might be interesting.
1166
01:37:02,072 --> 01:37:03,197
- This is my son.
- Yes.
1167
01:37:03,363 --> 01:37:04,947
- Yes.
- Hello, hello.
1168
01:37:05,113 --> 01:37:07,613
- Look him in the eyes.
- I'm Andy. Hello.
1169
01:37:07,780 --> 01:37:09,655
- Friend of Joe's then?
- Yeah.
1170
01:37:09,822 --> 01:37:13,280
- You known each other long?
- Uh... Not that long, no.
1171
01:37:13,447 --> 01:37:15,072
- Not very long?
- No.
1172
01:37:15,238 --> 01:37:16,113
Oh.
1173
01:37:23,988 --> 01:37:26,280
A ménage à trois.
1174
01:37:28,363 --> 01:37:30,405
It's all so exotic.
1175
01:37:30,572 --> 01:37:33,363
So broad-minded.
1176
01:37:35,072 --> 01:37:38,780
On that point... I failed.
1177
01:37:39,780 --> 01:37:41,113
No doubt about it.
1178
01:37:43,655 --> 01:37:47,405
Boys, now is the time to be alert,
1179
01:37:47,572 --> 01:37:51,072
and ask all the questions your heart's desire.
1180
01:37:52,572 --> 01:37:54,947
Because...
1181
01:37:55,113 --> 01:37:58,238
I hope that you shall never have to encounter
1182
01:37:58,405 --> 01:38:01,655
such people or be in such a situation ever again.
1183
01:38:03,655 --> 01:38:07,197
Well, hmm? You don't have any questions?
1184
01:38:08,113 --> 01:38:09,447
No?
1185
01:38:11,947 --> 01:38:14,572
Well, I'll start, shall I?
1186
01:38:14,738 --> 01:38:17,238
Approximately, how many lives...
1187
01:38:17,405 --> 01:38:20,655
do you think she has time to destroy in one day?
1188
01:38:20,822 --> 01:38:23,905
Five? 50?
1189
01:38:25,030 --> 01:38:27,030
Or several hundreds?
1190
01:38:28,155 --> 01:38:31,030
I admit the latter sounds improbable,
1191
01:38:31,197 --> 01:38:35,030
but where there's a will there's a way.
1192
01:38:43,280 --> 01:38:46,905
Look, this is just a big misunderstanding.
1193
01:38:51,822 --> 01:38:53,322
Boys?
1194
01:38:55,572 --> 01:38:57,697
I don't... I don't love your father.
1195
01:38:59,113 --> 01:39:01,530
She's just saying that to make us feel better.
1196
01:39:01,697 --> 01:39:03,530
I'm sure you understand that.
1197
01:39:04,322 --> 01:39:06,613
Because if it were a joke, I mean...
1198
01:39:07,738 --> 01:39:12,530
If... this were really a joke,
then it would be a joke so cruel.
1199
01:39:17,988 --> 01:39:21,447
No one can be that cruel.
1200
01:39:24,905 --> 01:39:27,822
They say that even the Huns on their rampage
1201
01:39:27,988 --> 01:39:31,780
were rather unreserved, but to split up a family...
1202
01:39:35,113 --> 01:39:39,030
To destroy a mesh of feelings woven over 20 years
1203
01:39:39,197 --> 01:39:42,237
is no joke, I can assure you.
1204
01:39:52,237 --> 01:39:53,487
Well...
1205
01:39:55,112 --> 01:39:57,779
If three's a crowd, then seven must be
1206
01:39:57,945 --> 01:40:00,612
a bit of a challenge for the pretty miss.
1207
01:40:02,737 --> 01:40:07,320
I must say I have a hard time
picturing her enjoying loneliness.
1208
01:40:09,737 --> 01:40:13,070
I think we better grab the chance to get away
1209
01:40:13,237 --> 01:40:15,654
before things become grotesque.
1210
01:40:18,695 --> 01:40:21,737
No, no, no!
1211
01:40:24,320 --> 01:40:27,487
You wouldn't want to give
your father a guilty conscience now, would you?
1212
01:41:05,487 --> 01:41:07,654
So how did this episode affect your life?
1213
01:41:09,029 --> 01:41:10,362
Not at all.
1214
01:41:12,570 --> 01:41:15,320
- Not at all?
- No.
1215
01:41:16,279 --> 01:41:19,320
You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.
1216
01:41:23,945 --> 01:41:25,779
Well, that's true.
1217
01:41:28,779 --> 01:41:32,195
Some people... blame the addict.
1218
01:41:32,362 --> 01:41:36,362
Other people feel sorry for the addict.
1219
01:41:36,529 --> 01:41:41,154
But I was an addict out of lust, not out of need.
1220
01:41:41,904 --> 01:41:43,695
You would say that, wouldn't you?
1221
01:41:44,570 --> 01:41:47,987
And lust that led to destruction around me,
1222
01:41:48,154 --> 01:41:49,612
everywhere I went.
1223
01:41:51,320 --> 01:41:55,862
Well, addiction sometimes leads to an...
1224
01:41:56,029 --> 01:41:57,862
absence of empathy.
1225
01:41:59,654 --> 01:42:00,862
You can't fight a lion
1226
01:42:01,029 --> 01:42:03,654
and blow the noses of your children at the same time.
1227
01:42:06,237 --> 01:42:09,320
For me, nymphomania was callousness.
1228
01:42:12,570 --> 01:42:14,279
You're very stubborn.
1229
01:42:15,237 --> 01:42:17,404
But what about yourself?
1230
01:42:18,320 --> 01:42:20,820
How did you feel during all this?
1231
01:42:30,779 --> 01:42:33,820
Did you feel good, or did you feel bad?
1232
01:42:41,862 --> 01:42:44,362
It's funny because when I think about my life
1233
01:42:44,529 --> 01:42:49,195
as a whole, I can only say that I felt good.
1234
01:42:49,362 --> 01:42:53,904
But when I try and remember a specific episode,
1235
01:42:54,070 --> 01:42:57,320
I'd say that just then I felt rather bad.
1236
01:42:57,487 --> 01:42:59,070
In what way?
1237
01:43:04,695 --> 01:43:07,779
Mrs. H was right about the loneliness.
1238
01:43:08,570 --> 01:43:12,862
I'd be lying if I said
it hadn't been my constant companion.
1239
01:43:15,695 --> 01:43:19,820
So you were with all these men,
and you still felt alone?
1240
01:43:26,945 --> 01:43:29,278
I didn't want to tell you about it.
1241
01:43:30,903 --> 01:43:33,402
But you've led me into a trap.
1242
01:43:36,652 --> 01:43:39,194
It was a certain feeling.
1243
01:43:44,027 --> 01:43:48,569
Oh, how awful that everything has to be so trivial.
1244
01:43:58,069 --> 01:44:00,819
When I was seven I had to have an operation.
1245
01:44:00,986 --> 01:44:04,277
Nothing serious, but it did require anesthesia.
1246
01:44:06,486 --> 01:44:10,944
I had already been pre-medicated,
and was feeling all right.
1247
01:44:12,111 --> 01:44:14,944
But when I looked into the room
where the doctors and nurses
1248
01:44:15,111 --> 01:44:18,194
were preparing for the operation,
1249
01:44:18,361 --> 01:44:20,694
it was as if had to pass through
1250
01:44:20,861 --> 01:44:24,819
an impenetrable gate all by myself.
1251
01:44:27,236 --> 01:44:29,777
It wasn't just that I missed my mom.
1252
01:44:29,944 --> 01:44:32,319
I don't think I missed my dad,
1253
01:44:32,486 --> 01:44:34,277
even though he was the nice one.
1254
01:44:35,111 --> 01:44:39,527
It was as if I was completely alone in the universe.
1255
01:44:41,611 --> 01:44:46,402
As if my whole body was filled
with loneliness and tears.
1256
01:45:09,611 --> 01:45:13,402
And I'm still not allowed to feel sorry for you?
1257
01:45:15,236 --> 01:45:16,986
Shall we go on?
1258
01:45:42,736 --> 01:45:44,569
What are you reading?
1259
01:45:44,736 --> 01:45:47,527
I'm not reading it really, I'm just...
1260
01:45:47,694 --> 01:45:50,361
reacquainting myself with Edgar Allan Poe.
1261
01:45:51,569 --> 01:45:52,736
I don't know him.
1262
01:45:54,152 --> 01:45:56,069
Well, he was a...
1263
01:45:58,069 --> 01:46:00,194
very anxiety-ridden man.
1264
01:46:06,277 --> 01:46:10,236
He died in the most fearful way you can imagine,
1265
01:46:10,402 --> 01:46:12,402
in something called delirium tremens.
1266
01:46:15,486 --> 01:46:20,069
It occurs when the long-time
abuse of alcohol is followed by...
1267
01:46:20,236 --> 01:46:22,486
by a sudden abstinence.
1268
01:46:24,486 --> 01:46:28,069
Your body goes into some kind
of hyper-sensitive shock.
1269
01:46:29,069 --> 01:46:32,069
You can see the most horrifying hallucinations
1270
01:46:32,236 --> 01:46:37,527
or rats and snakes,
and cockroaches coming out of the floor,
1271
01:46:37,694 --> 01:46:40,944
and worms slithering the walls.
1272
01:46:43,819 --> 01:46:47,402
One's entire nervous system is on high alert,
1273
01:46:47,569 --> 01:46:50,194
and you have a constant panic and paranoia.
1274
01:46:52,027 --> 01:46:54,569
And then the circulatory system fails.
1275
01:46:55,402 --> 01:46:57,777
But the panic and horror...
1276
01:46:57,944 --> 01:47:00,944
remains until the moment of death.
1277
01:47:17,444 --> 01:47:19,402
I know what delirium is.
1278
01:47:23,734 --> 01:47:24,901
During the whole
1279
01:47:25,068 --> 01:47:26,651
of a dull, dark and soundless day
1280
01:47:26,818 --> 01:47:29,859
in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung
1281
01:47:30,026 --> 01:47:32,609
oppressively low in the heavens,
1282
01:47:32,776 --> 01:47:35,859
I had been passing alone on horseback
1283
01:47:36,026 --> 01:47:39,568
through a singularly dreary tract of country;
1284
01:47:39,734 --> 01:47:41,443
and at length found myself
1285
01:47:41,609 --> 01:47:44,359
as the shades of the evening drew on,
1286
01:47:44,526 --> 01:47:48,651
within view of the melancholy House of Usher.
1287
01:48:18,401 --> 01:48:20,276
Hey, Dad,
1288
01:48:31,943 --> 01:48:32,943
Hi, love.
1289
01:48:35,568 --> 01:48:36,901
How are you?
1290
01:48:38,818 --> 01:48:40,318
I fought with Mom.
1291
01:48:42,109 --> 01:48:44,609
She's... She's not coming.
1292
01:48:49,193 --> 01:48:51,484
You ought not to fight with her.
1293
01:48:51,651 --> 01:48:54,026
You know Kay's fear of hospitals.
1294
01:48:57,693 --> 01:48:59,734
I know she's not coming.
1295
01:48:59,901 --> 01:49:02,609
We already said everything we needed to say.
1296
01:49:05,568 --> 01:49:07,401
Kay and I said goodbye at home.
1297
01:49:08,901 --> 01:49:10,859
I don't want her here at all.
1298
01:49:14,318 --> 01:49:18,318
- I can't accept that.
- You'll have to.
1299
01:49:19,276 --> 01:49:22,068
She's a cowardly, stupid bitch.
1300
01:49:23,776 --> 01:49:25,234
No, she's not.
1301
01:49:26,484 --> 01:49:28,276
- Yeah.
- No, she's not.
1302
01:49:28,443 --> 01:49:29,818
- Yes.
- No, she's not.
1303
01:49:29,984 --> 01:49:32,568
Yes, she is. You've never understood that.
1304
01:49:47,734 --> 01:49:49,401
Doesn't it scare you?
1305
01:49:51,401 --> 01:49:52,776
No.
1306
01:49:55,526 --> 01:49:57,109
No.
1307
01:50:00,109 --> 01:50:02,276
How can you not be afraid?
1308
01:50:07,193 --> 01:50:09,193
I've seen so many die.
1309
01:50:11,568 --> 01:50:14,734
And there's that Epicurus quote
1310
01:50:14,901 --> 01:50:16,651
about not fearing death.
1311
01:50:18,067 --> 01:50:21,567
When we are, death has not come.
1312
01:50:21,734 --> 01:50:26,192
When death has come... we are not.
1313
01:50:30,609 --> 01:50:32,817
You know it's going to happen.
1314
01:50:33,442 --> 01:50:36,734
I also know all the drugs the doctors have to offer.
1315
01:50:36,901 --> 01:50:38,442
So, no.
1316
01:50:39,401 --> 01:50:41,151
I am not...
1317
01:50:41,317 --> 01:50:43,442
I am not afraid.
1318
01:50:45,359 --> 01:50:48,151
Hmm. My beautiful girl.
1319
01:50:50,109 --> 01:50:52,026
Beautiful dad.
1320
01:50:59,276 --> 01:51:00,901
Hello, Doctor.
1321
01:51:01,067 --> 01:51:03,942
Hello, Doctor. This is my daughter Joe.
1322
01:51:04,109 --> 01:51:05,734
- Hey, Joe.
- Hi.
1323
01:51:08,484 --> 01:51:10,233
Do you need anything?
1324
01:51:10,400 --> 01:51:13,650
As I've said, I've decided to be
1325
01:51:13,816 --> 01:51:16,233
an exemplary patient, completely subjecting myself
1326
01:51:16,400 --> 01:51:19,066
- to doctor's orders.
- Are you in pain?
1327
01:51:20,858 --> 01:51:22,150
I don't think so, no.
1328
01:51:22,316 --> 01:51:24,400
We're going to give you a splash all the same.
1329
01:51:45,858 --> 01:51:47,400
Your hair is longer.
1330
01:51:49,983 --> 01:51:51,650
No, it's not.
1331
01:51:54,733 --> 01:51:56,816
They're giving you too much medication.
1332
01:52:07,441 --> 01:52:08,150
No.
1333
01:52:09,650 --> 01:52:11,191
Dad.
1334
01:52:11,983 --> 01:52:15,400
It's okay, Dad. You're just dreaming.
1335
01:52:15,566 --> 01:52:17,775
You're having a nightmare.
1336
01:52:17,941 --> 01:52:20,150
You're having a nightmare.
1337
01:52:21,650 --> 01:52:23,233
It's okay.
1338
01:52:23,400 --> 01:52:25,025
It's okay.
1339
01:52:42,650 --> 01:52:45,150
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
1340
01:52:47,858 --> 01:52:50,983
Okay. Don't worry, I'm going
to get the doctor. Don't worry.
1341
01:53:07,691 --> 01:53:09,691
You must be exhausted.
1342
01:53:11,358 --> 01:53:12,650
I'm fine.
1343
01:53:13,483 --> 01:53:15,900
I think you should go home, get some rest.
1344
01:53:17,691 --> 01:53:20,775
No. Someone needs to be here.
1345
01:53:22,650 --> 01:53:25,525
Perhaps you could share with some other family members.
1346
01:53:28,941 --> 01:53:30,733
There aren't any others.
1347
01:54:05,024 --> 01:54:06,566
Kay!
1348
01:54:06,733 --> 01:54:09,608
Daddy, it's okay.
1349
01:54:09,899 --> 01:54:12,816
Kay?
1350
01:54:16,691 --> 01:54:18,024
Kay.
1351
01:54:18,191 --> 01:54:20,983
Kay. Kay-
1352
01:54:26,649 --> 01:54:30,024
Kay.
1353
01:54:30,191 --> 01:54:32,691
Kay! Kay-
1354
01:54:32,858 --> 01:54:35,858
- Kay!
- I'm going to get the doctor.
1355
01:54:36,024 --> 01:54:37,399
Kay!
1356
01:54:37,566 --> 01:54:39,191
I'm going to get the doctor, Daddy.
1357
01:54:42,608 --> 01:54:46,566
Excuse me. My dad is really unwell.
1358
01:54:46,733 --> 01:54:48,983
Sit. I'll go have a look.
1359
01:54:50,733 --> 01:54:52,608
Maybe you could give him some more morphine.
1360
01:54:52,774 --> 01:54:55,441
There's something I'd like to explain.
1361
01:54:57,024 --> 01:54:58,649
I can certainly give him more morphine,
1362
01:54:58,816 --> 01:55:02,023
but most likely it won't make much difference.
1363
01:55:03,023 --> 01:55:07,357
Most deaths, fortunately, are uneventful,
1364
01:55:07,523 --> 01:55:12,607
as long as you medicate
the patients to keep them free of fear and pain.
1365
01:55:13,065 --> 01:55:15,898
In a few cases, the process of dying
1366
01:55:16,065 --> 01:55:17,857
causes brain damage,
1367
01:55:19,065 --> 01:55:21,315
which triggers what we call delirium.
1368
01:55:22,065 --> 01:55:26,898
That's not something we can
soften with morphine, unfortunately.
1369
01:55:45,523 --> 01:55:46,982
Daddy.
1370
01:55:57,190 --> 01:55:58,898
It's gonna be okay.
1371
01:56:10,732 --> 01:56:13,607
I don't know what's happening to me.
1372
01:56:30,523 --> 01:56:32,607
Don't you want to take a little walk?
1373
01:56:32,773 --> 01:56:35,107
I'll stay with your father in the meantime.
1374
01:56:35,648 --> 01:56:38,357
You'll stay? You'll stay here?
1375
01:56:38,523 --> 01:56:39,523
Yes.
1376
01:57:36,898 --> 01:57:38,815
Ash tree leaves.
1377
01:57:41,273 --> 01:57:43,065
Where did you find them?
1378
01:57:43,565 --> 01:57:45,440
They were in the park.
1379
01:57:53,565 --> 01:57:56,523
It truly is the most beautiful tree in the forest.
1380
01:58:00,815 --> 01:58:02,940
But Dad...
1381
01:58:03,106 --> 01:58:06,065
How do you recognize it in winter?
1382
01:58:07,065 --> 01:58:08,981
Told you 100 times.
1383
01:58:11,023 --> 01:58:12,731
I can't remember.
1384
01:58:17,481 --> 01:58:20,523
When the ash tree was created...
1385
01:58:23,148 --> 01:58:26,106
it made all the other trees in the forest jealous,
1386
01:58:27,190 --> 01:58:28,981
because it was...
1387
01:58:31,273 --> 01:58:33,898
It was the most beautiful tree in the forest.
1388
01:58:37,398 --> 01:58:39,231
It had the strongest wood.
1389
01:58:40,398 --> 01:58:42,190
It could be used for anything.
1390
01:58:44,856 --> 01:58:48,730
It was the World Tree in Norse mythology.
1391
01:58:50,230 --> 01:58:53,189
You couldn't say anything bad about it.
1392
01:58:57,397 --> 01:59:01,022
And then when all the other trees saw the ash tree
1393
01:59:01,189 --> 01:59:04,272
with its black buds...
1394
01:59:05,355 --> 01:59:07,439
they all started laughing.
1395
01:59:08,355 --> 01:59:09,855
Oh, look.
1396
01:59:11,105 --> 01:59:14,689
The ash tree's had its fingers in the ashes.
1397
01:59:31,814 --> 01:59:34,939
Dad. Daddy!
1398
01:59:35,105 --> 01:59:36,980
Daddy. Daddy, what's wrong?
1399
01:59:37,147 --> 01:59:38,439
Daddy, what's wrong?
1400
01:59:42,022 --> 01:59:44,439
Daddy, it's me! It's me, then. It's me!
1401
01:59:44,647 --> 01:59:47,522
Help! Help!
1402
01:59:50,230 --> 01:59:51,272
Okay.
1403
01:59:51,439 --> 01:59:53,605
Okay.
1404
01:59:56,647 --> 01:59:59,105
Okay. It's okay, it's okay. It's all right.
1405
02:00:02,980 --> 02:00:04,772
It's all right.
1406
02:00:15,064 --> 02:00:17,189
We have to fixate him.
1407
02:00:17,355 --> 02:00:20,897
What are you doing? What are you doing to me?
1408
02:00:25,980 --> 02:00:29,230
Joe! What are you doing to me?
1409
02:00:43,438 --> 02:00:44,397
Joe!
1410
02:00:44,938 --> 02:00:47,647
Joe!
1411
02:00:47,813 --> 02:00:50,313
I'm sorry.
1412
02:00:55,480 --> 02:00:56,897
You should take a break.
1413
02:02:30,605 --> 02:02:32,355
Excuse me.
1414
02:02:39,646 --> 02:02:41,312
Okay, don't worry.
1415
02:02:41,479 --> 02:02:44,146
Just clean that up.
1416
02:03:31,146 --> 02:03:32,562
Ready?
1417
02:04:35,812 --> 02:04:40,104
When he died, I had no feelings left.
1418
02:04:41,062 --> 02:04:43,395
Well, that's certainly understandable.
1419
02:04:44,187 --> 02:04:47,270
No. I don't know what happened to me.
1420
02:04:48,520 --> 02:04:50,062
It was very shameful.
1421
02:04:51,187 --> 02:04:54,937
Shameful? I don't understand.
1422
02:05:20,770 --> 02:05:22,979
I lubricated.
1423
02:05:40,687 --> 02:05:42,854
I know you like to present yourself in a negative way,
1424
02:05:43,020 --> 02:05:45,437
and that you have this, kind of dark bias
1425
02:05:45,604 --> 02:05:47,687
that you're worse than everyone else.
1426
02:05:48,354 --> 02:05:50,270
But this story doesn't add to that belief.
1427
02:05:52,645 --> 02:05:56,020
It's extremely common to react sexually in a crisis.
1428
02:05:56,812 --> 02:05:59,229
It may be shameful to you, but...
1429
02:05:59,395 --> 02:06:02,895
in literature, there is many worse examples.
1430
02:06:06,645 --> 02:06:08,979
But I did inherit my father's caliper.
1431
02:06:11,479 --> 02:06:16,145
I found it so beautiful and worn by its use.
1432
02:06:17,354 --> 02:06:19,604
What else did you receive?
1433
02:06:22,354 --> 02:06:23,645
Nothing.
1434
02:06:25,437 --> 02:06:27,728
I didn't have the strength to argue with my mother,
1435
02:06:27,894 --> 02:06:31,103
so I wrote off any further part of my inheritance.
1436
02:06:31,269 --> 02:06:36,311
Really? Well, that's a dramatic gesture.
1437
02:06:39,603 --> 02:06:42,894
- You listen to music, I see?
- Yes.
1438
02:06:43,061 --> 02:06:47,061
I like it a lot. Shall I find a tape?
1439
02:06:47,228 --> 02:06:52,061
No, if there's a tape
already in the machine? I'd like to hear that.
1440
02:06:52,603 --> 02:06:54,478
It's something I've been listening to a lot lately,
1441
02:06:54,644 --> 02:06:57,936
though it's not an entirely
complete recording, unfortunately.
1442
02:06:58,561 --> 02:07:01,061
- What is it?
- It's Bach.
1443
02:07:01,228 --> 02:07:03,978
From his little organ book.
1444
02:07:10,978 --> 02:07:13,269
The theme is originally a hymn,
1445
02:07:14,144 --> 02:07:17,519
Bach rearranged it and embellished it a little.
1446
02:07:18,519 --> 02:07:21,561
He was the master at polyphony,
if you know what that is.
1447
02:07:21,728 --> 02:07:24,228
No, yet another thing I don't know.
1448
02:07:24,394 --> 02:07:27,436
Polyphony is from the Middle Ages.
1449
02:07:27,603 --> 02:07:30,103
It's an entirely European phenomenon.
1450
02:07:30,936 --> 02:07:33,769
It's distinguished by the idea that,
1451
02:07:33,936 --> 02:07:37,061
every voice is its own melody,
1452
02:07:38,519 --> 02:07:40,478
but together in harmony.
1453
02:07:42,352 --> 02:07:46,394
Bach's forerunner, Palestrina, he wrote many words
1454
02:07:46,561 --> 02:07:49,061
for several choirs at the same time,
1455
02:07:49,227 --> 02:07:51,644
wallowing in polyphony.
1456
02:08:01,602 --> 02:08:03,686
But in my eyes, Bach perfected
1457
02:08:03,852 --> 02:08:06,186
the melodic expression and the harmony.
1458
02:08:07,227 --> 02:08:11,477
And also mixed up with some rather incomprehensible
1459
02:08:11,644 --> 02:08:13,852
mystique regarding numbers,
1460
02:08:14,019 --> 02:08:17,769
most likely based on the Fibonacci Sequence.
1461
02:08:19,352 --> 02:08:21,519
You know the one that starts with the zero,
1462
02:08:21,686 --> 02:08:22,894
and then comes the one.
1463
02:08:23,602 --> 02:08:27,686
The sequence is created
by adding the two previous numbers
1464
02:08:27,852 --> 02:08:30,977
to create the new one, so it's zero plus one makes one.
1465
02:08:31,144 --> 02:08:33,852
And one plus one makes two,
and two plus one makes three
1466
02:08:34,019 --> 02:08:37,269
and three plus two makes five,
and five plus three makes eight,
1467
02:08:37,436 --> 02:08:39,436
and eight plus five makes 13.
1468
02:08:39,602 --> 02:08:41,186
The sequence has an interesting connection
1469
02:08:41,352 --> 02:08:44,102
to Pythagoras’s theorem of the Golden Section.
1470
02:08:45,852 --> 02:08:49,144
It was all about finding out a divine methodology
1471
02:08:49,311 --> 02:08:51,061
in art and architecture.
1472
02:08:51,227 --> 02:08:53,019
A bit like the way a tri-tone,
1473
02:08:53,186 --> 02:08:55,144
which was played on the piano in your little club
1474
02:08:55,311 --> 02:08:57,269
was supposed to be a satanic interval.
1475
02:08:58,936 --> 02:09:03,102
The sum of the numeric values
represented in Bach's name is 14,
1476
02:09:04,102 --> 02:09:06,186
a number he often used in his compositions.
1477
02:09:06,352 --> 02:09:08,019
The clever thing about Bach's name
1478
02:09:08,186 --> 02:09:11,602
is that the numeric value of the individual letters
1479
02:09:11,769 --> 02:09:13,519
are all Fibonacci numbers.
1480
02:09:16,602 --> 02:09:19,019
This piece has three voices:
1481
02:09:19,186 --> 02:09:20,352
the bass voice...
1482
02:09:26,186 --> 02:09:28,061
The second voice played with the left hand.
1483
02:09:32,811 --> 02:09:34,561
The first voice played with the right hand.
1484
02:09:34,727 --> 02:09:38,477
That is called Cantus Firmus, or Cantu Firmus.
1485
02:09:38,644 --> 02:09:42,811
And together, these three voices create the polyphony.
1486
02:11:13,559 --> 02:11:16,684
Well, if I should compare this with my story,
1487
02:11:16,851 --> 02:11:20,059
it's reminiscent of a quality of nymphomania,
1488
02:11:20,226 --> 02:11:23,601
which is normally ignored, but nonetheless essential,
1489
02:11:23,768 --> 02:11:27,434
and namely the relationship
between the various intercourses.
1490
02:11:30,059 --> 02:11:32,143
That's interesting.
1491
02:11:32,309 --> 02:11:35,018
They create a... a completeness?
1492
02:11:36,393 --> 02:11:38,559
As, for example, the handshake,
1493
02:11:38,726 --> 02:11:41,809
which for all people is the sum of
1494
02:11:41,976 --> 02:11:44,726
all the different handshakes that together
1495
02:11:44,893 --> 02:11:48,101
form our view of what a handshake is.
1496
02:11:48,268 --> 02:11:51,018
The good, the bad handshake,
1497
02:11:51,184 --> 02:11:52,851
the firm, the limp.
1498
02:11:54,893 --> 02:11:57,601
Normally, a nymphomaniac is seen as...
1499
02:11:58,893 --> 02:12:00,934
someone who can't get enough,
1500
02:12:01,851 --> 02:12:04,059
and therefore, has sex with many different people.
1501
02:12:04,226 --> 02:12:05,768
Well, that, of course, is true,
1502
02:12:05,934 --> 02:12:10,518
but if I'm to be honest, I see it precisely as
1503
02:12:10,684 --> 02:12:15,309
the sum of all these different sexual experiences.
1504
02:12:17,143 --> 02:12:21,268
So in that way, I have only one lover.
1505
02:12:26,018 --> 02:12:28,684
Since the music has three voices,
1506
02:12:28,851 --> 02:12:32,559
I will limit myself to talking about three lovers.
1507
02:12:32,726 --> 02:12:36,559
The bass is easy. That's F.
1508
02:12:37,143 --> 02:12:40,518
F had a red car that he'd bought used.
1509
02:12:43,434 --> 02:12:44,559
As I was having sex
1510
02:12:44,726 --> 02:12:48,726
with seven or eight men every night at the time,
1511
02:12:48,893 --> 02:12:51,018
scheduling was tricky.
1512
02:12:51,184 --> 02:12:53,768
And they all had to have precise appointments.
1513
02:12:54,184 --> 02:12:57,059
F was a good man.
1514
02:12:57,226 --> 02:12:59,768
If he was scheduled for ten o'clock,
1515
02:12:59,934 --> 02:13:04,059
he always showed up around nine
and parked down in the street.
1516
02:13:04,226 --> 02:13:06,518
I always smiled when I saw him.
1517
02:13:08,351 --> 02:13:11,851
Often I took pity on him,
and gave him a cup of coffee,
1518
02:13:12,018 --> 02:13:14,226
although I was finishing with the one before.
1519
02:13:16,851 --> 02:13:20,184
It's hard to say why I'm choosing to talk about F,
1520
02:13:20,351 --> 02:13:22,018
but he was reassuring,
1521
02:13:22,559 --> 02:13:25,851
and he knew exactly what I wanted when we had sex.
1522
02:13:26,768 --> 02:13:30,226
No, I'd go even further, and say that there was
1523
02:13:30,393 --> 02:13:33,601
a kind of telepathy going on when we had sex.
1524
02:13:34,684 --> 02:13:38,893
Without words, he knew exactly what I wanted,
1525
02:13:39,101 --> 02:13:42,184
where he should touch me and what he should do.
1526
02:13:43,851 --> 02:13:48,184
The most sacred goal for F was my orgasm.
1527
02:13:49,059 --> 02:13:51,809
Why? And then...
1528
02:13:51,976 --> 02:13:55,934
the swans answered in the same voice.
1529
02:13:56,101 --> 02:13:58,059
And granted him privileges
1530
02:13:58,226 --> 02:14:00,393
none of the others received.
1531
02:14:06,975 --> 02:14:09,017
F was the bass voice.
1532
02:14:09,183 --> 02:14:12,933
Monotone, predictable and ritualistic.
1533
02:14:13,100 --> 02:14:14,892
No doubt about it.
1534
02:14:15,058 --> 02:14:18,558
But also the foundation that is so important,
1535
02:14:18,725 --> 02:14:21,850
even if on its own it doesn't mean much.
1536
02:14:54,891 --> 02:14:56,808
G was quite different.
1537
02:14:57,891 --> 02:15:01,641
The only one I had to, and wanted to wait for.
1538
02:15:02,641 --> 02:15:06,058
When he finally turned up and I opened the door,
1539
02:15:06,225 --> 02:15:08,433
he didn't immediately enter,
1540
02:15:08,600 --> 02:15:11,391
the way a cat doesn't when you let it in.
1541
02:15:11,558 --> 02:15:13,891
As if, once the door is open,
1542
02:15:14,058 --> 02:15:16,183
it has all the time in the world.
1543
02:15:23,058 --> 02:15:25,266
But he was more than a cat.
1544
02:15:25,433 --> 02:15:28,558
He was like some kind of jaguar, or leopard.
1545
02:15:29,933 --> 02:15:32,141
He moved like them,
1546
02:15:32,308 --> 02:15:34,933
which turned me on no end.
1547
02:15:45,683 --> 02:15:47,975
When he laid down on my bed,
1548
02:15:48,141 --> 02:15:50,600
it was clear to me that I should approach him,
1549
02:15:50,766 --> 02:15:52,641
and not the other way round.
1550
02:15:53,225 --> 02:15:58,475
And when I did touch him, it was with some hesitation,
1551
02:15:58,641 --> 02:16:01,891
as his reactions were unpredictable.
1552
02:16:02,058 --> 02:16:05,058
He was in charge. That's the way it was.
1553
02:16:55,516 --> 02:16:57,683
Despite my success in managing
1554
02:16:57,850 --> 02:17:00,933
the complicated logistics involved with arranging
1555
02:17:01,100 --> 02:17:04,433
up to ten daily sexual satisfactions,
1556
02:17:04,600 --> 02:17:07,266
while also having a full-time job,
1557
02:17:07,433 --> 02:17:10,641
I was still prone to a certain sadness.
1558
02:17:10,808 --> 02:17:13,600
So when my busy life allowed a few breaks,
1559
02:17:13,766 --> 02:17:16,058
I used them to take my walks.
1560
02:17:17,058 --> 02:17:20,350
These repeated walks became a kind of metaphor
1561
02:17:20,516 --> 02:17:23,600
for my life. Monotonous and pointless.
1562
02:17:26,308 --> 02:17:30,016
Yes, precisely like the movements of a caged animal.
1563
02:17:31,600 --> 02:17:34,391
Basically, we're all waiting for permission to die.
1564
02:19:01,973 --> 02:19:03,473
No.
1565
02:19:04,348 --> 02:19:07,182
No, no, no. No, there...
1566
02:19:07,348 --> 02:19:09,932
There are some completely unrealistic coincidences
1567
02:19:10,098 --> 02:19:11,765
in your story about Jerome.
1568
02:19:13,973 --> 02:19:17,640
First, by chance, he hires you as... as an assistant.
1569
02:19:17,807 --> 02:19:19,223
And then you take a walk in a forest,
1570
02:19:19,390 --> 02:19:21,057
and it's littered with photographs of him.
1571
02:19:21,223 --> 02:19:24,182
And not only that... he's present.
1572
02:19:25,223 --> 02:19:29,473
And then like a god,
pulls you up to him through the clouds.
1573
02:19:29,932 --> 02:19:33,640
So what? That's the way this story goes.
1574
02:19:34,432 --> 02:19:37,473
And I'm the one telling it, and I know what happened.
1575
02:19:38,723 --> 02:19:40,640
Do you want to hear it or not?
1576
02:19:44,182 --> 02:19:45,932
Goodness gracious.
1577
02:19:58,057 --> 02:19:59,932
What a strange way to meet.
1578
02:20:01,765 --> 02:20:02,765
Yes.
1579
02:20:04,723 --> 02:20:06,598
It's a very strange way.
1580
02:20:06,765 --> 02:20:09,182
Jerome was there because he'd just had a fight
1581
02:20:09,348 --> 02:20:12,223
with his wife, who in anger tore up the photographs
1582
02:20:12,390 --> 02:20:14,473
they just had developed from their travels.
1583
02:20:14,640 --> 02:20:17,223
I don't know if I can believe this.
1584
02:20:17,390 --> 02:20:18,973
Which way do you think you'd get the most
1585
02:20:19,140 --> 02:20:20,348
out of my story?
1586
02:20:20,682 --> 02:20:23,057
By believing in it or not believing in it?
1587
02:20:24,223 --> 02:20:25,598
Yeah, you're right.
1588
02:20:25,765 --> 02:20:27,432
You might have a point with all this.
1589
02:20:31,557 --> 02:20:35,515
The secret ingredient to sex is love.
1590
02:20:39,640 --> 02:20:42,515
The third voice, the secret ingredient.
1591
02:20:43,432 --> 02:20:45,015
Cantus Firmus.
1592
02:22:19,972 --> 02:22:23,264
Fill all my holes.
1593
02:23:22,472 --> 02:23:23,472
What's wrong?
1594
02:23:23,722 --> 02:23:26,222
Hmm?
1595
02:23:26,430 --> 02:23:29,430
- I can't feel anything.
- Huh?
1596
02:23:29,597 --> 02:23:31,097
I can't feel anything.
1597
02:23:33,930 --> 02:23:35,930
I can't feel anything.
1598
02:23:38,180 --> 02:23:40,680
I can't... anything.
118189
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