All language subtitles for Ally.McBeal.S05E06.2001.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.AAC-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

-Previously on Ally McBeal.
-Oh, he's really gone.

-John Cage?
-Yeah, he's missing.

He, uh, left me a note. It said not to
worry. Uh, "I'll be back."

He doesn't qualify
as a missing person.

What if he really didn't
write the note or the e-mail?

It had to be him.
Who else knew of his hole?

RAYMOND: There's one golden rule in life.
You don't mark on your best friend's turf.

Glenn would like
for you to date me. That would give him

a free guilt pass to date Ally,

and that's what
he really wants.

What do you want?

I'm single now.
I'm not seeing Glenn anymore.

The field is... open.

-Am I in the field?
- GLENN: I'm asking you out.

If you're not interested, fine. But don't
say no out of maturity.

VONDA:
♪ I know something about love ♪

♪ You've gotta want it bad ♪

♪ If that guy's
got into your blood ♪

♪ Go out and get him ♪♪

-You asked him out?
-Basically.

-The GQ cutie child?
-Yes.

-Abercrombie and Fitchie boy?
-Okay. You don't approve.

No, it isn't that. I'm just surprised to
see you predisposed toward fun.

Look, I have nothing
against having a good time. It's just

something I happen not to enjoy.

Ah.

Anyway, we went out, and, you know, in
fact, I did have a good time.

We were dancing at the bar to Vonda
Shepard and the Ikettes.

They were singing, uh, "Turn The Beat
Around." You know that song?

Yes.

-♪ Turn the beat around ♪
-♪ Turn the beat around ♪

-♪ Love to hear percussion ♪
-ALLY: Ugh. I was really going.

And this was the problem.

-Why?
-Well--

♪ Blow horn
You sure sound pretty ♪

-I was getting worked up.
-♪ Keep movin' to the nitty-gritty ♪

And when I dance, I-I--I--

-I can get--
-Hot.

Sizzling. Oh, and when they
got to that part of the song?

-Which part?
- The part.

-Ah.
-When the guitar player starts playing...

with the syncopated rhythm, with the
scratch, scratch, scratch.

Makes me wanna move my body,
yeah, yeah, yeah.

And when the drummer starts beating that
beat, he nails that beat...

-with the syncopated rhythm with the--
-Rat, tat--

-tat, tat--
-tat, tat--

on the drums.

-Yes, I--I understand.
-♪ Turn the beat around ♪

-♪ Turn the beat around ♪
-♪ Love to hear percussion ♪

-♪ Love to hear it ♪
-♪ Turn it upside down ♪

And once I get going,
like, on the dance floor--

You don't need to tell me.

♪ Yeah ♪

ALLY: And just as I was about
to pull out my calculator

and personally
compute his sperm count--

♪ Love to hear it
Yeah ♪♪

-No.
-No?

-No?
-No.

-Thank God.
-Yeah. I somehow got a hold of myself,

and, well, I said the three little words
that men never want to hear.

-It's too soon.
-Mmm.

-(groans)
-And what did he do?

-Well, he-he accepted it.
-(groans)

-And then he left.
-And how is he now?

Well, I have no idea. This was last night.
I'm gonna see him this morning.

But, you know, I'm afraid...

that he's gonna think
I'm... one of those--

-You know.
-Penis taunters?

-Yes.
-You have to understand.

Any man who has his lady hot on the dance
floor to "Turn the Beat Around"--

-Mm-hmm.
-Well, he's in like Flynn, in his mind.

So to be rebuffed--
You've hurt him, Ally.

Go to him.
Tend to his need.

I know what his need is. And I'm telling
you it's too soon.

But is the day ever coming for you and
this boy for carnal togetherness?

Let him at least
know that--

that it's coming--
otherwise, he'll move on.

And--
Is that what you want?

♪ I've been down
down, down ♪

♪ I've been down this road ♪

♪ Walkin' the line
that's painted by pride ♪

♪ And I have made mistakes
in my life ♪

♪ That I just can't hide ♪

♪ Oh, I believe I am ready ♪

♪ For what love has to bring
Yeah ♪

♪ I got myself together, yeah ♪

♪ Now I'm ready to sing ♪

♪ I've been searching
my soul tonight ♪

♪ I know there's
so much more to life ♪

♪ Now I know
I can shine a light ♪

♪ To find my way back home ♪

-♪ Oh ♪
-♪ Hoo, hoo ♪

♪ Baby, yeah ♪

-♪ Hoo, hoo ♪
-♪ Oh, yeah ♪♪

MAN:
♪ I know something about love ♪

♪ You've gotta want it bad ♪

♪ If that guy's
got into your blood ♪

♪ Go out and get him ♪

♪ Tell him that you're
never gonna leave him ♪

♪ Tell him that you're
always gonna love him ♪

♪ Tell him, tell him, tell him
Tell him right now ♪

♪ Tell him right now ♪♪

All right, here we go. Settle in. Time is
my money. Come on.

Oh, uh, first up, a reminder. Ling's, uh,
syndicated television show,

uh, begins airing
today, for all of you who've longed to

control the volume when she speaks.

Uh, next up, uh, Gower versus Commonwealth
of Massachusetts.

It's mine. I'm a trial lawyer,
in case anybody forgot.

Uh, Corretta is, uh, second chair,
so off to court we go to--

John? You're back!

Indeed. Move along, Richard.

(stammering)
But you--you're-you're here.

Yes. Your powers
of observation continue to stun the world.

Let's just move along, Richard.

(stammering)
Where were you?

That's my business, wade pool.

Move along.

Come on, John. Ally, Richard--
They missed you.

-Perhaps Corretta did too.
-Yes. I, in fact, missed you

every time I opened that freezer door and
saw that sack of frozen peas.

I ask you once again, Richard.
Let's just move along.

Uh, well-well, uh, my case, uh, Gower
versus Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

Well, it, uh--
I don't know what it's about.

I-I'm meeting the client
at, uh, 10:00, so--

-I thought you were off to court.
-Uh, yes.

I-I stand ready if need be. You know,
I'm a-- I'm a litigator.

-Richard, Nancy Gower is here.
-Ah. Uh, Corretta?

Let's go. John, welcome back.
We'll-We'll discuss later.

No, we won't.

Uh, we're-we're adjourned.

John? John, whoa! John?

John! Whoo.
We were all worried about you.

Well, you shouldn't
have been. I left a note.

Well, hey. Hey, c-can
we talk about this?

Well, not with him watching.

(knocking)

(sighs)

Okay, look, I--

Well, obviously, I--

I wanted to go further
last night.

You know, this is kind of
a delicate conversation.

Do you think
that you could suspend activity with-with

the, uh, the Quarter Pounder?

I'm not sure. You actually seem to be
more able when it comes to...

-(hits trash)
-suspending activity.

I'm sorry.

Well, see, when
I was in college, good-looking guys

weren't even interested in me.

They didn't even
look my way. And--And last night, I got

this sudden hit that-that--

(sighs) Well, that I was
living out some fantasy that--

Well, I just suddenly felt
silly and that it was wrong,

and it was wrong
for me, and it was wrong for you, and it

was wrong for the--whoever.

Whoever?

Whoever I end up with...
for real.

And I'm sure that he's not
gonna want some woman

who just jumps into bed with every Tom,
Dick and Larry--Harry.

Let me see if I get this.

You didn't want to go to bed last night
because it would be unfaithful...

to whoever comes after me?

Well, something like that. I mean, I-I
never said that I make complete sense.

Why does it have
to be so complicated?

Why not sleep with me,
if for no other reason

than to find out what you were missin' out
on in college?

Hmm.

Oh, well, uh, statements like that
convince me that I was missing nothing.

Ally. You're 31. And it's just too
reckless to be with a 28-year-old?

O-Okay. Um--

Up until now, I haven't wanted
to sound crazy with you,

and--and what I'm
about to say is...

I feel... sort of
like an old soul.

I-I've been here before.

And you? Well, this life
is your very first.

Mmm.
This is a past-life thing?

I just think that-- that you and I come
from different worlds. Yeah.

And a person from one world can't date
somebody from another?

I must tell you from the onset, I've been
a crook. You need to know that.

Nancy, we're all
God's children.

Yes. Well, this child stole from old men.
I'm ashamed of it.

I'm no psychiatrist, but, uh,

usually when-when people,
uh, act out,

it-it-it means they're reaching
out for-for something.

With you, uh--I could be wrong,
but you were reaching out

for money, weren't you, Nancy?

I feel as if
you already know me.

-I've been there.
-He's still there.

-(mutters)
-I scammed older men.

I pretended to be in love with them. I got
them to give me money, jewelry.

We'd get engaged, I'd get these
big, fat diamond rings, then I'd

break off the engagement.

-I was--
-A woman.

-A thief.
-Oh.

-But now I'm reformed.
-Oh, well, excellent.

I've met Gerard,
and he knows all about my past.

And I love her just the same.

We want to get married,
but the court won't let us.

What do you mean,
the court won't let you?

The last time I was
arrested, as part of my sentence, the

judge ordered me to stay away

from all men over 50,
e-except for relatives.

-I'm 54.
-A judge can't order that.

Well, he did.

Well, that's against that,
uh, thing. Tell her, Corretta.

-The Constitution.
-Exactly.

Well, is there anything
we can do?

Absolutely. We can
go right into court and, uh, litigate

this. I'm a--a litigator.

Well, anything you can do. I'm not the
person I used to be.

I promise you that.

(chattering)

Look, let's have dinner
tonight. Can we do that?

Sure.

I will explain--

Did I hear dinner?
How about the four of us go?

-You, me, Jenny and, uh, Thin Mint.
-Well--

Great! I'll tell Jenny. She'd love it.

-Great.
-Great.

LING: I'm not saying you don't have
a legitimate complaint, ma'am.

But your mistake was in thinking that I'd
care about it.

Why don't you sue whoever gave you that
haircut? Next case.

-You believe that?
-(gavel raps)

Treat people rotten enough, eventually
somebody will put you on television.

Can I help you?

A lot of people
were worried, John--

including me.

(sighs)
You're senior partner.

You do owe an explanation, if not out of
conscience, then how about leadership?

(sighs)
Are you okay?

I'm fine, thank you.

Good.
(chuckles)

We did miss you.

Missed you too.

-A double date?
-It'll be fun, don't you think?

-Well--
-I mean, we did it before.

But I didn't like you then.

Glenn's fine with
it, if that's your concern.

Oh. Okay.

Are you... fine with it?

Me? (chuckles)
Why wouldn't I be?

I don't know. You seeing him
with another woman--

-Please.
-Great! Should be fun then.

Uh-huh.
(chuckles)

Hey, hey, hey!

-John. (chuckles)
-Hello.

-Going into your hole?
-As a matter of fact, I--

How do you know
about my hole?

Everybody knows. Richard had an open house
after he took it over.

(beeping)

Oh, he had the, uh, frequency changed.
Here. Use mine.

You have access to my hole?

Richard and I are buddies.

I took, uh, Jen in for a little... nook.
(laughs)

-Shut up!
-Hmm!

(beeping)

(ABBA singing)
♪ You are the dancing queen ♪

♪ Young and sweet ♪

♪ Only 17 ♪

♪ Dancing queen ♪

♪ Feel the beat
from the tambourine ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ You can dance ♪♪

How dare you!

Oh, not-not now, John.
I'm off to court.

-You installed a mirror ball in my hole!
-Yeah, uh, bygones.

Don't you bygones me, damn it!
Of all the betrayals!

You owe me a duty, Richard, a fiduciary
duty, and you breached it royally!

-You were gone! You left!
-That gives you the right to violate me?

To have an open house
in my royal breach?

(stammering)

Hole?

Do you really mean
to lecture me on duty, John?

Because I have a few things
to say on that.

(machine clicks on, Richard's voice plays)
You're a senior partner.

Do I need to explain
the concept of partner?

The fiduciary responsibilities
that go along with that term?

I don't just behold everybody as my
partner, my friend,

-my colleague, and you walked out on that.
-(clicks off)

(mouthing words)

(clicks on, Richard's voice) You forgot
what it means to go down a path

with an esteemed
colleague, a trusted friend, a true

believer in right and justice.

(audio fast-forwarding)

I can't believe it! You're
lip-synching your response!

I had a lot to say. I wanted to
make sure I--

You can't give it to me live?

Nobody does
their best work live.

You've welcomed foreign bodies
into my hole, then you lip-synch

a lecture. You unbelievable oaf!

Right now I'm a litigating oaf,
because you abandoned ship,

you-you funny little oots.

What is an oots?

Hey, Jenny.

Hi. What's up?

Uh, w-well, um--

-Uh, well, I--
-Aren't you excited about our double date?

Well, that's sort of

what I kinda wanted
to sorta talk about.

-Kinda.
-Oh.

I'm not comfortable with--

(laughing) Oh, God!
I sound like my therapist.

I--What-What--I j-- I don't think
that this double date is a great idea.

-Why?
-Well, it's just-- You know, Jenny,

Glenn used to be
your boyfriend.

And how are you gonna feel if-if he were
to kiss me, or-or--

Oh, and now you're crying.
Why are you crying?

(sniffles) I'm sorry.

No, no, no. Tell me.
Tell me why you're crying.

Because I thought
it was ridiculous too.

And then I thought it was
strange that Glenn and everybody

would forget my birthday.

And then I thought you guys
really didn't forget,

and that's what this whole double date was
about-- to celebrate my birthday.

But I guess that
isn't it, and...

everybody just forgot.

Oh. Oh.

Uh, no. No, we-we didn't forget your
birthday. (chuckles)

No, we just thought that it would be
better if it were a surprise.

So I came in here to pretend
to call off the double date

so you would be surprised when Glenn and I
stood up to say, "Surprise!"

Okay, so... nobody forgot?

Of course not.

How could you
forget her birthday?

I didn't forget her birthday. I just
didn't know what today was.

Now we have to go to dinner with them,
because she thinks it's in honor of her.

-So we'll go.
-Well--Elaine.

It's Jenny's birthday. Do you think that
you could possibly do a number in the bar?

-Absolutely.
-Ah, you're such a giver.

-You were dating her for three years.
-So sue me. Take me to court.

A judge can't control who a woman can
marry. It's just not possible.

I have the court
order right in front of me. It says she

can't even approach a man over 50.

But that's unconstitutional,
Judge.

Pursuit of happiness. Give her
liberty or give her death.

E pluribus unum. (chuckles)
I don't need to tell you.

What are you
talking about?

I'm talking about a Superior Court judge
trying to legislate who a woman can marry.

That's just--That's
just wrong. No judge should do that,

especially the superior kind.

It also isn't right
for any judicial branch to get involved

in, uh, domestic relations.

It's up to the president to do that. Yeah,
uh, separation of, uh-uh, powers.

And she-she loves
this man. E pluribus costs.

Your Honor.

I think Judge Turanball was trying to
protect potential victims with that order.

Gerard Billow knows Nancy Gower's past. He
accepts it, and they both love each other.

But how do we know
she's not scamming him?

I trust her.
And I want her to be my wife.

And this court order is
effectively penalizing him.

It's preventing him from
marrying the woman he loves.

Mr. Billow?
This woman is a con artist.

She's not that person today,
Judge.

Yeah, uh, e pluribus.
It's in there.

These are two consenting adults who love
each other, and they have rights.

Nobody has rights.
People have privileges.

And those privileges are
lost when they violate the law.

Your Honor?

I have no excuse for my past behavior.
But I love this man.

I don't know the law, but part of crime
and punishment is rehabilitation.

And if you take away someone's ability to
find love, to commit to having a family--

It seems like a lousy way
to promote healing of any kind.

Well, uh, there-there's your winner,
Judge. Go with that.

I'll take it
under advisement.

See you back at 7:00.

Oh, 7:00?
I-I have plans, Judge.

-I--
-We'll be here.

MAN:
That's great.

What's going on here?

I told you.
I have a photo shoot today.

Well, you didn't tell me
it was a layout.

-Cover of Talk magazine.
-Ling!

You're a judge.
Do you think it's appropriate?

Oh, please. It used to be women stripped
naked to have a chance at greatness.

Now you have to do great things
to have a chance to strip naked.

(scoffs) But, Ling, all your life you've
committed yourself to the ideal,

"A woman is what she wears."
What are you today?

A role model. If I can inspire a few girls
to go to law school,

or have a perfect body,
then I've done my job.

-Snap!
-WOMAN: Move the trees.

I found myself, Nelle.
I knew I eventually would.

-♪ Kiss me, darling ♪
-♪ You sexy thing, you ♪

♪ Ah, woman, yeah ♪♪

(knocking)

-Hey, John.
-Ally. Hello.

-How-How you doin'?
-Splendid, thank you.

You seem sad.

-Well, I mean, Richard violated my hole.
-Mmm, well--

Let it heal?

So, where did you go, John?

I was away. I'm back now. Why must I
account for my absence?

Well, because you are
a senior partner,

and when you ran off you left the firm
in Richard's hands.

That made everybody
a little uneasy.

-It did?
-Yeah.

Hmm.

-Are you having a crisis?
-I think perhaps I was.

Was it me?

Me not wanting to go out--
Did that spur it on?

Maybe, in part. I-I just needed some time
to take measure of a few things.

And I did that.
Now I'm back. So how are you?

-Oh, I'm okay.
-And things with Glenn?

Oh, well, you know.

I--I like him.
You know, I think he's cute.

But sometimes when we're alone together
and we're talking quietly,

I find myself missing Larry.

Hmm! Wow, I haven't even admitted that
to my therapist.

It's just that
I think Glenn is a boy--

a cute boy.

But Larry, you know,
he was a man.

-You know what I mean?
-No. Not really.

Ally, Larry walked out on you
without even saying good-bye.

Men don't do that.
He just flew off.

-You flew off.
-Not from you I didn't. I would never.

-It-It isn't gonna be you.
-I know this.

-I still love you.
-Right back at you.

So, anyway, to,
um, answer your question--Uh, I don't

know about me and Glenn.

I'm just gonna try
to stay open to it, and--

You know, I suppose that good things can
come in younger packages.

So... we'll see.

Excellent.

Well--

Um, I'm glad
you're back.

I just wish I knew
why you went away.

MAN: ♪ Been 14 days
since I don't know when ♪

♪ I just saw her
with my best friend ♪

♪ Do you know what I mean ♪

♪ Do you know
know what I mean ♪♪

First of all,
to the ladies for lookin' beautiful.

Oh!

-Aw!
-Hear! Hear!

-To Jenny on her birthday.
-Ah, happy birthday.

You know, we came to this restaurant on
one of our early dates. You remember?

-I do.
-First time you guys slept together.

(gagging)

You told me.

Oh, is that why you picked
this restaurant? To get lucky?

-Okay, boys.
-Oh, come on. Food's good.

But, uh, since you brought the
subject up, there is something

I've been meaning to broach.

-What?
-Have, uh, you and Ally--

(imitates bedsprings creaking)

-Raymond!
-That's nice.

We're all friends.

We happen to be
in a nice restaurant, Raymond.

Yeah, on Jenny's birthday.
She doesn't need to hear that.

Why not?

-Sorry?
-Why doesn't Jenny need to hear it?

-Well--
-Well, I'm your date, by the way.

Maybe you should try sticking up
for my ears instead of Jenny's.

-RAYMOND: Whoa!
-Sorry.

She's got a little streak.
(gasps)

Um, another toast. (giggles)
To friendship.

-Ah.
-Hey, have you and Jenny--

Oh, not yet.

-But I was hoping tonight.
-What are you two talking about?

-Bruins.
-Celtics.

-Can we get some menus?
-Certainly.

Can I say something?
See, I love foreheads.

And you have
the sexiest forehead.

(laughs)
You are such a goof.

Can I kiss that forehead?

-Well--
-(chuckles)

Umm, wonder what I'll have.

There's prime rib
in your future. Maybe later.

Ally, I thought
about last night,

and--and, well, I'm--

I'm willing to wait
as long as you want to wait.

Oh, thank you, Glenn.

-Mmm!
-Mmm.

Wh-- What?

Well, I don't have a problem with you two
guys going out. In fact, I support it.

But you don't have to be
sucking face in front of me.

Sucking face?

-All right.
-Where are those menus?

Look how dry my lips are, Jenny.

You, of all people, know how
sloppy-wet he makes out.

Excuse me?

-So you made out?
-N-N-No. You told me.

-You told her I make-out sloppy?
-I'm not happy here.

In a good way!

Okay, listen. Maybe we're just
a little nervous and on edge.

Um--

So let's open presents.
That'll lighten everything up.

-(chuckles)
-Presents?

You got me presents, right?

Prime rib later. "Little Drummer Boy".
(chuckles)

Nobody got me a present?

Oh, of--of course
we got you presents.

(grunts)
There's mine.

-Thank you.
-And here's mine. (imitates gunshot)

(laughs)
You guys!

-Glenn?
-Huh? Uh, well--

-You didn't get me anything?
-N--Uh, well--

-(quietly) A song at the bar.
-A song at the bar.

I'm sorry?

Well, after dinner, we're
gonna go back to the bar,

and I have a special song
prepared for you.

-Oh, that's nice.
-Yeah, all arranged and everything.

-Great.
-Great.

That's great.

(low mocking tone)
All arranged and everything.

JUDGE WALSH: I find it was not
an abuse of discretion

for Judge Turanball
to issue a restraint against the plaintiff

approaching men over 50.

Given her wile and her record,

she's posed a significant threat
to this particular demographic.

I also feel, however, that our
criminal justice system

does provide for second chances when
there's been rehabilitation.

Mr. Billow, you're the one
who will be taking it.

I'm ready, Your Honor.
My love grows for her daily.

I'm all choked up.
The aisle is your plank, sir.

If you choose to walk it, I won't stop
you. Adjourned.

(gavel raps)

-Oh, my God!
-Oh! (laughing) Oh, I'm so happy.

Thank you, Richard.
Corretta, thank you so much.

Well, let's make this official.
Nancy? Will you marry me?

I will.
Oh, my God!

-Don't fence it.
-(gasps)

(mouths word)

-(Gerard chuckles)
-Come here.

-♪♪ (pop)
-ELAINE: Whoo!

♪ With this ring I promise
I'll always love you ♪

♪ Always love you ♪

♪ With this ring I promise
I'll always love you ♪

♪ Always love you ♪

♪ They used to call me
the wanderer ♪

♪ Who never wanted
to settle down ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ But I'll tell you, baby ♪

-♪♪ (continues, indistinct)
-You gonna stay mad forever?

It was sacred, Richard.
A man's hole is his temple.

-Where'd you go? Seriously.
-I just went away.

I think you should address the firm.
We deserve an explanation.

-It would disappoint you, Richard.
-John, we're senior partners.

If they can't look up to and respect you,
that leaves me.

♪ I'll always try
to keep you satisfied ♪

♪ 'Cause with this ring
I promise ♪

♪ I'll always love you ♪

♪ Always love you ♪

-♪♪ (continues, indistinct)
-Where's the boy? Aren't you on a date?

Oh, well, he's arranging
Jenny's birthday present.

Did you, uh, strip naked
for a semi-nude layout?

-My character wasn't growing enough.
-♪♪ (ends)

-(applause) Whoo!
-Whoo!

Thank you! Thank you very much!
Thank you!

She's a good dancer, Jenny.

Glenn never said so, but I bet
she's a pretty decent rattle.

-You know, you're disgusting.
-You're not just saying that?

Trust me.

(Glenn on P.A.) All right,
your attention please.

We have a birthday girl with us tonight--
Jenny Shaw.

-MAN: Happy birthday!
-Yeah!

-WOMAN: Whoo! Happy birthday!
-GLENN: And, uh, she has two favorites--

Frank Sinatra
and Elvis Presley.

And since we've done
Frank, Jenny, tonight I thought we'd,

uh--we'd do a little Elvis.

If he starts to grind up there,
I'll vomit.

♪♪ (band plays a ballad)

I know you'll regard this as silly, but I
used to think in a prior life I was Elvis.

But, uh, John,
Elvis lived in this life.

Well, there lies the rub.

♪ Maybe I didn't treat you ♪

♪ Quite as good
as I should have ♪

♪ Maybe I didn't love you ♪

♪ Quite as often
as I could have ♪

♪ Little things
I should have said and done ♪

♪ I just never
took the time ♪

♪ You were always
on my mind ♪

♪ You were always
on my mind ♪

♪ Maybe I didn't hold you ♪

♪ All those lonely
lonely times ♪

♪ And I guess
I never told you ♪

♪ I'm so happy
that you're mine ♪

♪ If I made you feel
second best ♪

♪ Girl, I'm sorry
I was blind ♪

♪ You were always ♪

♪ On my mind ♪

♪ You were always
on my mind ♪

Call me an oink,
but I think he still loves her.

♪♪ (continues, indistinct)

I don't think either one of us
is getting any tonight.

Oink.

♪ You were always
on my mind ♪

♪ You were always
on my mind ♪

♪♪ (vocalizing)

♪♪ (fades, ends)

-Did she like it?
-I think she did.

Well, thanks for comin' up
with the idea.

-If she hadn't gotten a present--
-Yeah.

-Well, it was a good choice, that song.
-Yeah.

Well, she does love Elvis.

What?

Do you really think
you're fooling anybody?

-What are you talking about?
-You still love her, Glenn.

(laughs) What? Oh, come on.
No, Ally, we're just--

Friends?

You know, what I don't get is,
why do you keep denying it?

Obviously, she still loves you, and you
love her. I don't--I don't get it.

Well, because we love each other as
friends, Ally. Not--

You know, Glenn, I'm older.
Do you think you could permit me

to be wiser for one second?

Uh, I watched you
watch her at dinner.

I watched how you sang to her. I know when
somebody loves somebody.

And not just
as-as friends.

You-You two
belong together.

(sighs) We'd just end up
hating each other.

Mmm, so it isn't smooth always. It doesn't
mean that it isn't right.

Look, Ally.
I appreciate your opinion.

But allow me to decide
who I want to be with, okay?

Sure. Will you afford me
the same privilege?

Of course.

Okay. Well, I choose not to be with
somebody who loves somebody else.

Good night, Glenn.

Oh, and, uh, Glenn,
you're a great guy.

And somewhere out there...

there's a great girl
waitin' for you to call.

Gerard? What's up?

-Is Richard here?
-He's in his office.

-If I could see you both a second?
-Sure.

Hey, Elaine.

-Nice song.
-You too.

(knocking)

-Hey, Jen.
-Hi.

Thanks for the song.
It was very entertaining.

Oh, good. (chuckles) Good.
Uh, so, how was your birthday?

-Okay.
-And you and Raymond?

Uh-- (laughs) He's a dink.

He's mad, 'cause he thinks you still love
me now, 'cause of the song,

and I told him there just aren't
a lot of choices of songs,

you know,
"let's just be friends," so--

He's a dink.

-So, you set him straight?
-I tried.

Maybe you-you should
set him straight.

Or I could
set you straight.

I still love you, Jen.

-Please don't mess with me like that.
-No, no, I-I'm not.

I'm not messin' with you.

It seems like when we're together,
we do nothing but fight, but--

(exhales forcefully)
I love you.

So, um, you, uh,
want to, uh--

-Get back.
-Yeah, that.

Yeah, I do.

Would you consider it?

Um--

Okay.

I've considered it.

Mmm.

(Glenn chuckles)

She's where?

She's on her way to Logan
Airport. She left an hour ago.

-Why? Did she scam you?
-She thinks she did.

She's being followed
by undercover detectives.

She'll be arrested once
she tries to board an airplane.

I-I don't understand.

I'm an undercover police officer.
We were working a sting.

You both will likely be
called as witnesses, so you--

Wait just a second.

Look, I'm sorry you had to be involved,
but she wouldn't take the ring

until the legal hurdles
were cleared.

-She's good. Very good.
-Oh, my God.

Oh, so you two don't really love each
other? I wasted all that emotion in court.

Again, I apologize for
having to involve you both. I couldn't

find a way to avoid it.

Gerard?

Nancy.

Your housekeeper told me you'd
be here. Is everything okay?

Eh, I thought you went
to the airport.

Oh, yeah, I did.
I went to pick up a friend.

How did you know I went to the airport?
It was last-second.

Oh, no.

What's wrong? Did the court
reverse its ruling?

-You better tell her, Detective.
-Detective?

This man had no intention
of marrying you, Nancy.

He's an undercover policeman
working on a sting.

Is this true?

I'm sorry. We were convinced
you'd try to strike again.

Oh.

Oh.

(door closes)

(clears throat) Did you hear? Glenn and
Jenny just got back together.

They did?

Aren't you just devastated?

Well, I'm not as crushed
as you are, I see.

Oh, Ally. I just want you to know
that I am here for you.

Oh, yes. And what am I gonna
do about that?

Ally! Did you hear?

Uhh, yes.

Elaine broke it to me
ever so gently.

So, I guess you and I should go out, huh?
Say the word.

-Oink.
-Whatever.

You're cute in a,
uh, slutty way.

And men on the rebound
just love me.

(chuckles)

(door opens, closes)

-I'm sorry.
-Mmm, yeah.

(chuckles) Now I know what it
feels like, I guess.

The person I really hate
at the moment... is me.

For the first time, I truly understand
what I was.

(exhales forcefully)
Lousy view.

-There will be other men to love, Nancy.
-I'm not sure I deserve one.

(toilet flushing)

-Hello.
-Hello.

Corretta, if you could come out?
I'm going to address the office.

Is it gonna be
a long speech, or, um--

Sorry.

When I was a young boy,

I used to race ponies
at county fairs.

Every Friday night we'd roll
into a different fairground,

get our ponies
situated in the stables,

pitch our tents and...

just, well, prepare for
a weekend of competition.

Yeah, I can't say
I recall a single race.

But what I do remember...

vividly is how at the end of the day,
we'd all get together,

all these racers
and farmhands, and...

we'd talk.

We'd laugh, we'd tell the most
forgettable stories, and--

(sighs)
We just--We'd laugh.

My uncle used to say to me, "Laughing and
riding a bicycle--

two things you never
forget how to do."

Yet lately, as I've--

as I've taken measure
of my life,

and as I look at you,

I mainly see people who still
know how to ride a bicycle,

but whose next smile
is best achieved

by getting the leather interior
of choice in their new car.

What's happened here?

Get a spare minute
at the end of the day,

we ponder the fixed rate
versus the variable.

Close our eyes and dream
of owning oceanfront property.

What's happened?

Three weeks ago I--

I left this world of things,

and I went back to some
of those fairgrounds--

just trying to remember
the people--

trying to revive in myself
the ability to rejoice

in the simple company
of others.

That's why I left.

But as to why I came back?

I think, perhaps, I realized that
what I was looking for--

This is the place
for me to find it.

Right here, in these walls
with the people I love.

Wish I could offer something more
complicated. I can't.

I think sometimes...

things are simple.

Carry on then.

(footsteps departing)

(gulps, sobs)

Why are you crying?

Well, what he said
was so beautiful...

and so fundamentally profound,
that--

-And, you know--
-Should I love John Cage?

He-He just represents so many of the
things that I want in a man,

and he would be
the greatest of fathers.

Well, Allyson, you're begging the
assumption that love can be voluntary.

True love can
often be reduced to--

to three anecdotal questions:

How would you feel about
raising children with him?

How would you feel about
sitting in front of a fire

and talking about life, a movie, perhaps a
book you just read?

And how would you feel about him
suckling a little whipped cream

out of the cupeth of your navel?

Ah, yes. Romance would have
begotten a--a different

expression on that one.

But does true love have to be romantic?
I mean, really?

For most people? No.
For you? Well--

I have a test
for that one too.

And answer me honestly.
A lot of my patients lie.

-When you're home and the phone rings--
-Hmm.

what's the very first
thought that goes through your head?

(imitates phone ringing)

Larry.

So much for John Cage.

(sighs)

WOMAN:
You stinker!