All language subtitles for Ally.McBeal.S05E02.2001.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.AAC-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

Previously on Ally McBeal.

-This is Jenny Shaw.
-I don't like her.

She's a lawyer, and I've just
hired her to work here.

You did what?

I have a good feeling about her, Richard.

Uh, Ally, you're an associate.
We just, uh, hired Corretta.

She comes here with 72,000 clients.

You have a class action
with 72,000 plaintiffs?

-Yes.
-Against which phone companies?

-All of them.
-All set, Simon?

-You're arguing?
-Hey, Jenny.

Hey. Raymond Millbury.

-Hi. Hi. Ally, uh, McBeal.
-Nice to meet you.

You still don't trust me.

I just don't find lawyers
particularly trustworthy.

That I would hire one
as my therapist is-- is-- Gee.

Richard, Glenn Foy has arrived.

Is this a trick? What are you doing here?

-What are you doing?
-I work here.

You said you wanted
to talk about the girl,

but you keep bringing up... the boy.

♪♪ (pop intro)

♪ All of the lonely nights ♪

♪ Waiting for you to come
longing to hold you tight ♪

♪ I need you so desperately ♪

♪ Waiting for you to come
bringing your love to me ♪

♪ But I'd wait a million years ♪

♪ Walk a million miles
Cry a million tears ♪

♪ I'd swim the deepest sea
climb the highest hill ♪

♪ Just to have you near me ♪

Remember being young, having fun?

No.

Don't you all have this massive deposition

scheduled for tomorrow
on your class action suit?

-Well--
-Yeah, i-it's your big witness.

If I understand it correctly,

-your case, uh, depends on her testimony.
-(Jenny sighs)

-Whoo. Hot.
-Don't you have

a huge day tomorrow
on your telephone case?

Yes. So?

Do you think opposing counsel
is out tonight celebrating?

-I mean, what are you celebrating?
-I don't know, Dad.

-That it's nighttime?
-Hey, guys.

I'm drinking that.

Uh, and don't you know
those are cancer sticks?

You can die from cigars.

Jenny. How you doing?

You ever see those old wrinkled people
on the street, in the park-- wherever?

You ever stop to think maybe
if they had smoked,

they never
would have become old?

-(gasps)
-Hey, after the case is over,

you want to date?

(chuckles) Look at Glenn.

-What a clown.
-♪ A million years ♪♪

Wow. Who is, uh-- Who's she? Hey.

You're cute. Married?

-What?
-W-W-W-Wait a second.

You ask me out on a date,

and you're hitting on somebody else
before you even wait for my answer?

-What do you want, exclusive?
-Uh, e-e-exclusive?

No. No. See, I don't
even want to date you.

You do too.

-Oh, shut up.
-Who is this man?

Look, Ally. Guys can tell when
girls are interested, okay?

You did that little-- the little--
You know, I-- Look. I can just tell.

-You like me.
-Oh. Oh. Oh, really?

Okay. So how can you just tell
that I like you?

Jenny told me.

-What?
-Shut up!

-Who is this man?
-I do not like him.

-Do too.
-Shut up.

-Raymond! You ready for the big depo?
-Ah, please!

I've studied up more for a urine test.
They let anybody sing up there?

-Ally and I are gonna go out.
-No, no, no. We are not.

-Who is this man?
-ALLY: Just get it out of your head.

-I-I'm not dating you.
-RAYMOND: Fine. Ooh.

Who's she?

Married?

-Hey.
-What, you were still gonna drink it?

No. No. I'm-I'm-I'm gonna
pick it up and pour it--

No, no, no. Don't do that.
He'd only enjoy it. Just--

Ignore him.

RAYMOND: I've already moved
on to, uh, Dairy Queen here.

You know, I love fake blondes.

-Hey. I'm artificial.
-Who is this man?

-I saw that.
-What? Wh-What now?

-You were looking at Glenn. You like him.
-Oh, Jenny.

I saw. You want to sleep with him.

-(gasps)
-Which is okay.

-♪♪ (ends)
-I do not want to sleep with Glenn!

(echoes)

♪ I've been down down, down ♪

♪ I've been down this road ♪

♪ Walkin' the line
that's painted by pride ♪

♪ And I have made mistakes in my life ♪

♪ That I just can't hide ♪

♪ Oh, I believe I am ready ♪

♪ For what love has to bring Yeah ♪

♪ I got myself together, yeah ♪

♪ Now I'm ready to sing ♪

♪ I've been searching my soul tonight ♪

♪ I know there's so much more to life ♪

♪ Now I know I can shine a light ♪

♪ To find my way back home ♪

-♪ Oh ♪
-♪ Hoo, hoo ♪

♪ Baby, yeah ♪

-♪ Hoo, hoo ♪
-♪ Oh, yeah ♪♪

The-The whole bar heard it.

"I do not want to sleep with Glenn."

I couldn't have yelled it louder
if-if-if--

If it were true?

It is true.

-I don't want to sleep with Glenn.
-Allyson.

Give me your tapered hand.

(clears throat)

There's a song, uh, that once spoke to me.

I surely thought it spoke to Freud,

but it was, in fact,
composed after his lifetime.

It went:

"Yummy, yummy, yummy.
I've got love in my tummy."

And the message of the song
specifically to me?

You say you don't want Glenn in a--

in a carnal way.

But part of you wants that little gumdrop

stuck in your teeth.

The truth screams to me, Allyson.

(teeth clicking)

-It doesn't concern you?
-Why should it concern me?

They bring in these young lawyers--

God, it's more like
a frat house than a law firm.

LING: Ow!

-They're not weapons.
-I'm sorry.

Oh, I so prefer the deaf to the blind.

Ow!

What is this, "Run into Ling Day"?

I am so sorry. I was looking at my twins.

Oh, yes. And aren't those

the two most beautiful babies ever?

Thank you.

You know, I see a lot of babies,
and it's really no big deal,

but those--
they just take my breath away.

Yes.

Makes you just want to
quit the law and breed.

-Ling Woo, birth mother.
-Hello. Aren't you cute?

You-- (baby talk)

Okay. Uh, first up-- Where is everybody?

I-It's past 9:00.
John, isn't it past, uh, 9:00?

What am I, your timekeeper?

You seem a little testy.
Is everything all right?

My life is loveless. Move along.

I hope we're not too late.

It would kill us to miss a single second.

The room feels hostile.

Yeah. Never mind. It's a big day today.

-Are you ready for the deposition?
-I am.

-Uh, who's second chair? Ally or Glenn?
-Did I hear my name?

We like to start things
on time here, youngster.

-What's that you're eating?
-That's a hamburger.

-You want a bite?
-Oh.

It's 9:15. Yeah, my stomach just
growls for a Whopper.

Well, if you knew the time,
why didn't you just tell me?

-Just--
-All right.

Let's just all take a deep breath
and-and...

say, "Today, we're gonna
be in a good mood."

Love her.

When I grow up, I want to be you.

All right. Uh, the deposition.
Uh, Jenny, Ally, Glenn, you ready?

-ALL: Ready.
-Why is this deposition so important?

Because if we don't make
a showing on the damages,

which we might not,
since they're not economic,

then we could lose at summary judgment.

And we need the named plaintiff
to make the showing.

Why are you looking at Glenn?

-What?
-Am I missing something?

I just always wonder if I'm missing
something

when my second and third chairs
look at each other behind my back.

-Did I not lay out the stakes correctly?
-No.

You laid them out fine. D-Do you, um,

think that maybe we could
get together after the staff meeting?

Ling, you've been summoned by
the Chief Justice of the Superior Court.

If it's for jury duty, tell them I'm dead.

He said 10:00, dead or alive. Your choice.

-Want to put it to a vote?
-(growls)

-Are we adjourned?
-Yeah. Uh, fine. Yeah.

Fine. Fine. Jenny.

I've disappointed you.

L-Listen. Um,

I really don't appreciate you telling me
who I'm attracted to.

-Oh, that's just girl talk.
-Well, it feels more accusatory,

especially when it involves
your ex-boyfriend,

who I'm not attracted to, by the way.

And I really don't like
listening to you telling me

how when I meet a man I look
down at my breasts

to make sure that they're still in place.

No, I do that. You check your outfit.

-Jenny--
-You-- S-Sorry.

I really enjoy our new friendship.

-As--
-Ah--

And I look forward to
a lot of girl talk sessions

about drapes, clothes, guys--
the important things in life.

But-- But-But this, um, "Tourette's-ian"
blurting "You like him"-- I just--

I-I'm not comfortable with that.

I'm so sorry. I never meant--

God! It's been three days,
and I already bug you.

-You don't bug me.
-I do.

-No, you don't.
-Too!

Okay. Okay. This-This bugs me.

-See?
-Okay, Jenny.

-Sorry.
-(sighs, clears throat)

We just have to learn each other's
rhythms, and we'll be fine.

Right.

Okay. (chuckles)

So, sorry again.

(Ally clears throat)

By the way, for what it's worth,

you strike me as the most honest person
I've ever met.

Well-- (chuckles) thank you.

I-- Well, I-I like to think of myself
as honest. Thank you.

So, it surprises me when you say
that you're not attracted to Glenn,

because I know you are.

(exhales deeply) I think he's cute.

Really cute.

Really cute.
But I have absolutely no designs, okay?

I don't want to go out with him.
He's not right for me,

or vice versa, so you don't
have to worry about it, okay?

I'm not worried.
I think it would be great.

You would?

-Aha!
-Jenny.

Ally, I'm not gonna lie.

It would be an adjustment for me,
but I would be okay with it.

In fact, he's the best man I know,
and you might be the best woman, so,

it could be perfect.

I'm not gonna date him, okay?

Okay.

(exhales) This better be good.

How old are you?

You encountered a woman
on the street

and complimented her on her children.

So, what, she filed a complaint?

I was clearly reaching out
to someone less fortunate.

That woman is the governor
of Massachusetts.

She's offering you a judgeship.

-What?
-Evidently you imp--

(coughing)

(coughs) Uh, thank you.

-She wants to make me a judge?
-Yes.

-A real one?
-Yes. If you-- (coughing)

want it.

-When would this happen?
-They'd swear you in today.

You could be on the bench tomorrow.

Do I have to know the law?

Not really. You'd have clerks.

Judge Ling.

I like it.

(knocks)

So what happened to the big deposition?

-Oh, i-it's in 20 minutes. It's at 11:00.
-Oh.

These, uh-- These kids-- y-you think
they're, uh-- they're good lawyers?

Well, Jenny was good in court,

and, uh, Glenn--
I haven't really checked him out yet.

Good-looking youngster.

Glenn?

Uh--

Well, yeah.

Well--

All right. Carry on.

John.

The other day, you were saying about, uh,

friends can be lovers,
and lovers can be friends,

and maybe it was in the cards for me.

Wh-What did you mean by all that?

I-- (chuckles) I don't know.

Why?

You and I have always had this connection.
Would you agree?

Mmm. Yeah.

And you've always had
this intuition about my life.

Well,

yeah, I do.

So, I was wondering

if maybe you had an intuition
that something was in the cards for me.

Well--

John. John. We both know
what's going on here.

We do?

You think that I'm about to meet somebody,

or that I'm gonna become lovers
with somebody who's my friend.

Is that it?

Well, perhaps.

Oh, John, you know what?

You're not merely my friend, are you?

No.

You're more like my big brother.

Yeah.

Carry on.

VONDA: ♪ Yummy, yummy, yummy
I got love in my tummy ♪

♪ And I feel like lovin' you ♪

♪ Love is such a sweet thing
"good enough to eat" thing ♪

♪ And that's just what I'm gonna do ♪♪

Jenny, where's the client?
It's 10 to 11:00.

Um, maybe her flight was delayed.
She was supposed to be landing--

W-W-Wait a second. You-You haven't
prepped her for this deposition?

No. I prepped her by phone.
She's been at her summer house in Maine.

-Okay. Well, she better get here, or--
-(elevator bell dings)

-(mouths words)
-What, are we late?

No. We're just running a little... late.

-SIMON: This is where you've come to work.
-A lot of talent here, Simon.

-Got your, uh, soft serve, your thin mint.
-Hey. Hey. No, you--

Ally, Ally, Ally. Raymond
likes to rattle women

by playing the Neanderthal card.

-Don't bite.
-(clears throat)

Oh, uh, I'm-I'm fine, Glenn.

I'm-I'm not easily intimidated.

Um, why don't you just
wait in the conference room.

(elevator bell dings)

Hello. I'm looking for Jenny Shaw.

That's me.

Hello! I'm Claire Otoms.

Hello, little Jenny. You're lovely.

You sounded somewhat thicker
on the telephone, I'm afraid.

But you're not.
You're lovely. You're slim.

You're almost exquisite.

(laughs) Thank you.

Um, Claire, this is, uh, Glenn Foy.

-Hello.
-Ally McBeal,

this is Claire Otoms,
our named plaintiff.

Oh, you're all so, so young.
I adore the young.

You know, they say that youth is wasted
on the young, but I don't think so.

-This is the named plaintiff?
-Are you a lawyer?

-I am.
-Well, I hope you're on my side.

Oh, Jenny, isn't he strapping?

Ally-- Excu-- Um, excuse us
for one second. Jenny.

Yeah.

-Just go right over here.
-Yes. Yes.

-Um, this is the named plaintiff?
-I guess.

Wait. You-You never met her before?

Well, I was the named plaintiff
until the judge said

I couldn't be the named plaintiff
and the lead attorney,

and so I moved her up.

She was so compelling
in her interrogatories.

Yeah. And our case hinges, um, on that?

-Hello!
-(all gasp)

-Oh. Oh.
-When do we start our depositions?

Well, um, I guess now.

I have the draft of--

-Shall I-- Shall I leave it?
-Desk.

Okay, then.

When you get a-- a break,
could I talk to you?

(exhales) I'm free.

What, um, were you doing?

Isometrics. Increases the blood flow.

It's an anti-aging technique.

-Oh.
-It's not important.

Okay.

John.

I know it's none of my business, but,

I heard you refer to your life
as loveless earlier.

-Would you like to meet somebody?
-Well, who?

I don't have anybody
specific in mind, but--

Well, I don't like to admit this,

though I'm not ashamed of it
or anything--

What?

I paid my way through law school
by doing men makeovers.

Men makeovers?

Yes.

(stammers) You think I need a makeover?

Well, maybe a touch, here and there.

-What sort of touch?
-Do you remember when we first met?

-Yes. What of it?
-Well, I don't remember.

First impressions count for so much,
and you don't make one.

We need to change that.

I'm not gonna have a makeover,
Corretta. Thank you.

Okay. I just thought I'd offer.

Well, men don't get makeovers.

Again, I just thought I'd offer.
The draft is on your desk.

That's fine.

Ye-- Yeah. All right.

Got it.

CLAIRE: It's a dreadful annoyance.

I come home after a busy day,
and the telephone nearly assaults me.

I've turned the ringer up,
because my hearing is--

my hearing is wonderful.

But I think the ringer should be loud
so the help can hear it, don't you?

It's a terrible thing, trying to relax
in the comfort of your own home,

and have your telephone,
well, leap at you.

(chuckles)

-I've lost track of the question.
-Is this a joke?

Is this one of your jokes, Glenn?

Not a joke.

Uh, where do you live, Ms. Otoms?

I live in Winchester.

I live in a colonial home.

I love that word "colonial."

Don't you? You know,
it reminds me of frankfurters.

(laughs)

By the way, did you know
that frankfurters are made of intestines?

(chuckles) It wouldn't bother me so much,
except I enjoy them.

They're wonderful.

Sometimes I get these long-distance
solicitations in the middle of supper.

I've got a good mind
to use that as a deterrent.

I could just say,
"Please call me back later. I'm busy.

I'm dining off the intestines of a cow."
(laughs)

(chuckles)

-I'm not fallin' for this.
-Not a joke.

Where do you live, Ally?

Do you live in a colonial home?

Oh, look at the way
those clothes hang off her.

She's lovely.

There's no way
they'll let you wear purple.

I'm not gonna ask.

I'm just gonna take the bench
and look stunning.

-Hold still, please.
-No.

Ling, with all due respect,
do you really think being a judge is...

your niche?

How hard can it be?
You just form opinions.

Yes, but are you gonna like it?
You're supposed to be fair.

Oh, please. Stop it!

We live in a litigious society, Nelle.

Everybody running off to court.
It's stupid.

It's up to the judge
to make them feel stupid.

Stop it.

I can do that.

♪ Every time we meet ♪

♪ Everything is sweet ♪

♪ Ooh, you're so tender I must surrender ♪

♪ My love is your love now and forever ♪

♪ You're the one that I long to kiss ♪

♪ Baby, you're the one
that I really miss ♪

-It wasn't a disaster.
-It wasn't a disaster?

Okay. They'll be offering
that transcript to Judge Walsh.

Well, at least he won't see her.

Ally, will you tell him
it's not a disaster?

It was a disaster.

-Why?
-Jenny, the judge is gonna decide

whether this case lives or dies
on the basis of that deposition.

Now-Now-- Now, I am totally with Glenn.

On his-- his-- his, um--
his-- his assessment.

Look. I explained to Claire
the importance of this deposition.

Tomorrow, when we question her,

she is going to be more
persuasive, less grand,

and ultimately winning.

All right. So-So tomorrow we just go in
and we do better.

Yeah. Yeah. It's-It's as simple as that.

Now, let's just go
drink and-and not panic.

(singsongy) Love her.

-A makeover.
-That's what she said.

What, am I not attractive
anymore, Richard?

Oh, come on, John. You have money.
That makes you handsome.

You know, last year
I considered myself fairly irresistible.

I mean, women just loved me.

-Of course they did.
-But you consider the women.

Kimmy needed her mother
to chaperone her on dates.

Melanie barked during sex.

Maybe it's just the freakish women
who are drawn to me.

No, th-that's not true, John.

You're just being sensitive now.
Come on.

Hello!

Is this seat taken?

Don't you love the band?

-They're gorgeous, aren't they?
-♪ You're the one that I long to kiss ♪

♪ Baby, you're the one
that I really miss ♪

♪ You're the one that I'm dreaming of ♪♪

I-I know that, uh, Jenny
has stressed this with you,

but-but I want you to hear it from me.

It's all right, dear.

You're lovely. You are lovely.

Oh. I-I-I need you to limit your testimony

to the repeated calls
that you got from the telephone company.

Oh, those wretched calls
in the middle of my supper, Ally.

Exactly. Oh.

CLAIRE: Talking of which.

Glenn, I see you share

my love of intestines.

Oh, please, this is my breakfast.

I must confess, I sometimes grab
one of those quite early in the day.

Just a quickie.

-Claire.
-(Jenny gasping) Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

-He went to court.
-Who?

Your friend Raymond.

He went in ex parte and moved
for an evidentiary hearing.

What are you talking about?

Well, he argued
that the court should witness

the demeanor of the named plaintiff,
and Judge Walsh agreed,

so now we have to finish
our deposition in court.

-Judge Walsh will see her?
-Mmm, yes.

-RICHARD: She's already sworn in?
-Yeah. Last night.

I-I keep thinking it must be a trick.

-Mm-hmm. On mankind.
-MAN: All rise.

-The honorable Judge Woo--
-Never mind. Who's first?

-MAN: Case number 326--
-Ah, that one's boring.

Uh, I want the TV station one.

Pamela Whoop?

"Hoop." The "W" is silent.

When you say it maybe.

You're suing a station
for a bad weather forecast?

Yes. I planned an outdoor birthday party,
Your Honor,

for over 200 people.

The forecast that WGBD
gave was sunny and clear.

-This is New England.
-I understand that.

-And I realize that--
-You lose.

Next case.

MAN: Case number 32448.
Stephenson versus Forester.

This is the broken engagement?

Yes, it is, Your Honor. She refuses
to return the ring, even though--

-You were engaged how long?
-Uh, six weeks.

She slept with you during this time?

Well, yes, we had relations, but--

She gets to keep the ring. Next case.

STEPHENSON: It cost $6,000.

Look at her. Look at you.
She gets to keep it.

Go to the corridor
and talk about the weather. Next!

MAN: 33647.

-Hey, Elaine.
-Hi, John.

(chuckles) I was just thinking.

Remember the first time
you and I actually met?

No.

(phone rings)

-Hello.
-Hello.

Uh-- (chuckles)

I'm not sure that I'm interested
in a makeover,

but I do have a friend who is curious.

Ah.

Well, I'm not really comfortable
giving it to people I don't know.

So, how about I just show you,
and you could show your friend?

Oh. Well, uh, okay. Uh--

The first is clothes, which is easy.

Hair and face I don't touch,
except for the eyebrows, slightly.

-Eyebrows?
-Thicker eyebrows are a sign of virility.

Women, on an unconscious level,
are looking for mates.

Heavy eyebrows translate
to higher sperm count.

Don't ask me why. The big change is--

-What?
-I design bodysuits.

-Bodysuits?
-Very, very subtle.

Biceps, triceps,

pecs, glutes and shoulders,

worn under the clothes.

Nobody knows.

They have the feel and texture
of muscles and body fat.

Oh, oh, I'm sure my friend
would say that's ridiculous.

What you need to tell him is just try it.

If he doesn't get immediate results,
he can forget it.

I--

-I got an idea.
-What?

I don't know your friend.

He might not be too quick
to take my word for it,

but perhaps if you tried it and you were
convinced, you could convince him.

Uh, I-- Okay. That-- It does seem
logical.

I'll bring my stuff in.

We have plenty of other plaintiffs,
Your Honor, and we feel that--

This is the named plaintiff?

Well, that's simply a matter
of court reporting. It doesn't--

Look. I ordered the deposition
of the named plaintiff.

-I don't like surprises.
-Um, well, you're about to get one.

And we feel Ms. Otoms isn't the most
representative of the class.

If she doesn't represent the class,
then how many others of the 72,000 do?

-Is she here?
-Yes, she's here, uh, Your Honor, but--

-Then call her to the stand.
-Ah. Your Honor--

Ms. Otoms, if you're out there,
please step up.

Hello! (chuckles)

I'm here. Isn't this exciting?

And what a historic old room this is.

Look at this paneling. It goes so well
with this frock. I'm so glad I wore it.

Isn't he lovely? (chuckles)

-C-Can I take it?
-I was hoping you would.

I'm Claire Otoms, and I'm

absolutely thrilled to meet you.

-Miss.
-What? Oh.

Isn't this exciting?
It's like being on television.

Swear to tell the whole truth
and nothing but the whole truth?

Do I strike you as a person capable
of the whole truth?

Uh, uh, but-but-but you will
tell the truth about this case,

right, Ms. Otoms?

Certainly. Isn't she lovely? She's gorge--

(deep male voice) Gorgeous.
(burps, gags)

(female voice)
Oh. Forgive me, Your Majesty. I-- I--

I suffer-- (burps)--
I suffer from acid reflux.

Acid reflux is a curse.

I only get it when I'm nervous.
It affects my voice.

(deep male voice) It's horrible.
(sputters)

-Ms. Otoms.
-Claire.

Isn't she lovely? (gags)

ALLY:
Claire, you're suing the phone companies.

M-Many of them, in fact.
Uh, can-can you tell the court why?

Because that lovely little button Jenny
asked me to.

Didn't you-- (deep male voice) Jenny?

-(burps)
-ALLY: Well, did you

suffer any damages as a result
of the solicitations?

I most certainly did.

Those wretched people
call me over and over again,

disrupting my peace and quiet.

Why is it that people place no premium
on peace and quiet these days?

They don't even rake their own yards.

They use those wretched leaf blowers,

buzzing around like hornets.

I live in a-- well, a supposedly peaceful
neighborhood, Your Honor.

(chuckles) In a colonial home.

Claire. The calls.

-What calls?
-From the telephone company!

I-I ap-- I apologize.

You didn't need to raise your voice.

I know. I'm-I'm sorry.

I'm a vulnerable woman.

I wasn't prepared for this.
Oh, you're such a little thing.

What would you be, size two?

Such a booming voice.

You caught me unawares.

Claire, we really need you
to tell us about the phone calls

and-and how you think you've been damaged.

I don't feel like talking about it.

JUDGE WALSH: Ma'am, if you don't tell us
how you've been harmed,

I might dismiss
this entire case of action.

Hey. Hey.

(sighs)

Have you lost then?

Oh, I don't know. I-It doesn't look good.

And what about you and the boy?

Oh, I'm completely over the boy.

Ally, give me your hand.

(clears throat) Liar.

-Oh--
-Ally, I know life, and I know love.

The boy. He's the transitional partner

you must navigate through in order
to reach love's final destination.

What are you saying?

Let yourself go. Free-fall

with the transitional boy.

It's true love's way.

"True love's way"?

Mm-hmm.

It's often a very mysterious journey.

(knocks)

-It wasn't your fault.
-Of course it was my fault.

I just slotted her in
as the named plaintiff

without even bothering to meet her.

Well, Jenny, the case was a long shot.

Which means I need to pick
the strongest of named plaintiffs.

-(clears throat) Jen--
-And the only reason that I have this job,

by the way, is because of this big case.

And as soon as the judge dismisses it,
which he is going to do--

-Jen--
-And my father once told me

that every time I screw up,
I pop a freckle, and-and look.

Um, well--

I don't, uh-- I don't see--

And-And I miss you.

There, I said it. Is that a crime?

Is it terrible to miss somebody
you're totally over?

No.

No, I miss you too.

Well, is this, like, the most insane
idea-- try to work together?

(inhales deeply) Well, as opposed to what?

As opposed to--

As opposed to never
seeing each other again?

I mean, we were doing it
pretty well before.

And-- And I s-- I s--

And I still love you, and I know
that we're not right for each other,

and I am way past wanting to be together,

but, you know, I just still love you,

and if we're gonna work
together, then I just--

I gotta-- I gotta get that out there.

Okay.

Hey. We-We-We just-- We just got--

Sorry.

I think she likes you.

Ally?

Every time you walk in the room,
she does the head thing.

She-- She looks down.

So, do you like her?

-Oh, okay.
-'Cause I wouldn't mind.

Will you stop.

(clearing throat)

(coughs) Excuse me.
Uh, the clerk just called, and, uh,

the judge has a ruling.

See? Feels real.

Under a shirt, it looks
completely natural.

-Is it saline?
-No. It's a gel.

Harder in the muscle areas
than in the fatty.

-It's so light.
-And it's not too hot.

-Try the glute shorts.
-Oh, I don't know.

John, your friend's gonna want glutes.

It's where a lot of women look first.

Well, he wouldn't want a big butt.

It won't be big.

And what about
the people who know me?

Uh, him. I mean,
won't-- won't they detect the fraud?

Well, I would sort of recommend
that he go away to a spa for a week,

so if they start to ask, he can at least
say that he's been pumping.

(gasps) Oh!

-Oh.
-Mmm. Mmm?

-Mm-hmm?
-Now, eventually,

if he becomes intimate with a woman,
she's going to discover the truth.

Oh, by the time two people decide
to become intimate, John,

the truth doesn't matter as much.

-Why do you think we pad our bras?
-Yeah.

-I do look pretty buff.
-Mmm.

-(knocks)
-Excuse me. Your Honor?

Who is this person?

I'm Todd Paradisio.

I'm the general manager of WGBD,
the station that was--

Yes. That case is over.
This is ex parte, and I'm busy.

Well, this'll just take a second.
I want to put you on television.

-Who doesn't? Your second is over.
-I'm not kidding.

Look. We can start locally, but I think
it would have nationwide appeal.

Now, we do the same kind
of small-claims cases.

You wear your purple robe.

I mean, hey.
Judge Judy makes seven figures a year.

And, with the right
lighting, you're cuter.

How nationwide?

I think we could sell you
in almost every market.

I mean, think of it.
We'll pay you to be a bitch.

-And she's happy being one for free.
-Judge Ling,

this is meant to be.

(groans softly)

The phone companies are, no doubt,
annoying with these pestering calls.

We all know they have
no compunction about annoying us.

But to say that rises
to the level of harassment,

making way for emotional distress
damages-- that's ridiculous.

The plaintiff's claim is dismissed.

-Uh, well--
-However, Ms. Otoms's

likening the annoyance
to the leaf blower--

she hit on what the case
really is and should be about.

If somebody disrupts the quiet
enjoyment of one's home,

then it's a claim of nuisance.

I'm allowing the plaintiffs

to refile their class action suit
as a nuisance claim.

We'll continue with discovery as is
and set a trial date for January.

-Adjourned.
-Oh!

(Claire laughing)

You did it.

ALLY: I-I-- I can't believe it.

♪ Sooner or later love is gonna get ya ♪

♪ Sooner or later
girl, you've got to give it ♪

♪ Sooner or later love is gonna let ya ♪

♪ Sooner or later love is gonna win ♪

I wouldn't expect you to be
in such a good mood, Raymond.

-You usually sulk when you lose.
-Oh, what? You thought I lost?

I don't want this case to be over.
It's a cash cow.

-Oh, I forgot about the merits.
-♪ Told you time and again ♪

♪ I'll get all the love
you've been denyin' ♪

So, uh, how are you and Jenny doing?

Are-Are you gonna be able
to work together?

-Yeah, I think so.
-I-It's not hard?

You-- Oh, you know,
with you two being, um, apart?

Well, you know.

Well, it's just that when you practice law
with-with somebody that you-- you love--

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's best we're on opposite sides.

Hey. Hey. I-I don't-- I don't-- I don't--

Just-Just-Just go with it.
Just-Just-Just... relax.

-Hello.
-(gasps) Hi.

What is--

-♪ Looking for love ♪
-♪ All the wrong places ♪

♪ Gotta get ya, girl ♪

-♪ From this illusion ♪
-♪ Gonna save your heart ♪

-You're going away?
-Yeah. To a spa.

It's just for a week.
Time to get my body in shape.

For a week? Wh-What sort of shape
are you looking to get in?

Well, all I need is a little toning,
Richard. Just you wait and see.

♪ Love is gonna win Love is gonna win ♪

♪ It's just a matter of time ♪

♪ Before you make up your mind ♪

♪ Make up your mind, girl ♪

♪ To give all the love
that you've been hiding ♪

♪ It's just a question of when
I told you time and again ♪♪

RAYMOND: Why would a jury ever award
money just because a phone company--

GLENN: A giant,
monopolistic phone company.

Taxi!

Hey! (whistles) He--

-Oh, so it's antitrust now.
-No, no. I didn't say antitrust.

-(horn honks)
-Hey. Hey! It's you're the big guys,

and we're the little guys, and juries love
to whack the rich and powerful.

-And I'm a better lawyer than you.
-Oh, you're a better lawyer.

Hey, come on! Whoa!

-All right. Rope trick. Cross the street.
-You cross.

-It was my idea.
-Yeah, then you cross.

Do they always bicker like that?

JENNY: Always. But they're good friends.

-We're good friends, right?
-Jenny--

I'm really not the most insecure person
on Earth. It's just, at the moment--

I almost kissed him today. Glenn.

-Really?
-God.

Well, maybe you two aren't over.

No, we are. Trust me.
And I want it to be. It's just--

(Glenn shouts)

(grunting)

-No. you're goin' down. Come on.
-JENNY: I mean, look at them.

They're like little kids.

Why is it we say we're looking for mature,
responsible partners,

when we're really attracted
to the bratty two-year-olds?

(horn honks)
(tires screech)

-(Glenn laughs)
-Hey.

Thanks so much for stopping, guy.
Hey, girls.

(whistles) Got a cab. Come on. Let's go.

-MAN: Yes, sir.
-RAYMOND: Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Got a cab.

Cab. Yeah.

Um, well-- well, that-that was--
Whoo-hoo.

Well, you know, oh, actually, that's okay.
I-I live right over there.

I'm just a few streets down.
You guys just take it.

-We'll drop you.
-No, I'll-- I'll walk Ally. Go ahead.

No. (chuckles)
You don't even look at her. She's mine.

-Oh, get a brain.
-Now don't forget that.

-We'll see you tomorrow.
-(mouths words)

-(chuckles)
-(door closes)

-Phew.
-Well.

-Well.
-Uh, I-- I can't believe we won in court.

-Can you?
-Oh. No. (chuckles)

-No. How about it?
-Yeah. Yeah.

(both sigh)

Well, I-- I live right over there.

-Oh. Okay.
-Yeah. We should--

Uh, so-- so, how's-- how's it been
working with Jenny so far?

-You asked me that in the bar.
-Oh.

I did? Well, did you answer?

-Ally--
-Oh, uh, this is-- this is--

This is me. 543.

(chuckles)

S-So, um, why aren't you a couple?

I mean, ask me, you seem, uh,
like you would be great together.

Well, we are great together.
Just not as a couple.

I mean, as friends, we're inseparable.

We talk about everything.
We share everything.

But as soon as we're a couple,
we're fighting and judging one another.

I mean, we've been
on and off again so many--

The last time, we started
not to like each other.

And that's when it's gotta be wrong.

Yeah. Yeah.

(clears throat)

Well, um, uh, night.

Good night.

Ally, I--

Oh.

Um--

It's... a little unusual...

to meet someone and feel--

I don't know. Like--

Like you want to take care
of her or something.

And, uh,

so--

The fact you feel that way about Jenny,
I'm really very--

I'm just really impressed.

-Hmm. (chuckles)
-Yeah.

Well, she's a, um-- a special person.

Yeah, she is.

And for you to notice that so immediately,

you must have something
special about you too.

Oh. Well-- (chuckling)
Well, thank you, but--

Anyway, thanks for looking after her,

and, um, it's--
it's just great to, well, know you.

Uh, well, likewise. (chuckles)

Yeah.

Um--

VONDA: ♪ Just you know why ♪

One other thing.

♪ Why you and I ♪

Since you're helping Jenny--

♪ Will by and by ♪

I, uh--

♪ Know true love ways ♪

Well, in helping her,

you might be confused because of my
closeness with her, that we're still--

For your own clarity,
so as best to give her guidance,

you should be clear that Jenny and I...

are definitely over as a couple.

Got it.

Good.

Well, I'll see you at work.

See you there.

♪ Sometimes we'll sigh ♪

♪ Sometimes we'll cry ♪

♪ And we'll know why ♪

♪ Just you and I ♪

♪ Know true love ways ♪♪

WOMAN: You stinker!