All language subtitles for Ally.McBeal.S04E18.2000.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.AAC-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

Previously on Ally McBeal.

So, Jackson Duper, you don't
tell a woman your real name?

For all I knew, you could--

You knew we well enough
to go to bed with me.

You've been subpoenaed
to sunny California.

I beg your pardon?

- Hello.
- Hello.

Considering the circumstances,

maybe I should no longer work
at Cage & Fish.

It won't bother me, Jackson.
Really.

Oh. Okay.

I don't know the history
of your case,

but I'd be happy to take a whack at you--
[Gags, Coughs]

- Are you a good lover--
- [Stammering]

[Mock Stammering]
lawyer?

Where are you going
on your date tonight?

Oh, dinner, and then we'll
probably stop by at the bar.

She's singing tonight.

♪ Oh, oh, oh
Our love is dyin' ♪

- I can't believe it.
- What happened?

I slept with you on the first date.

Why are you embarrassed?

A man can't get embarrassed?
That's just a woman thing?

Would you mind terribly
if I gave you a kiss good-bye?

Oh, well, I suppose.

[Clears Throat]

- Jackson.
- Larry.

Would you excuse me?
I'm a little parched.

[Coughs]
You're parched?

Mmm. Is that okay?

Yeah. Fine.
Go right ahead.

- [Grunting]
- Is there a problem, Larry?

No. I just like doin' polar torso
flexes at night, Jackson.

- Oh, do you?
- Yes, I do.

- Are you makin' fun of me, Larry?
- No.

The truth is, I've been tryin'
to work on my posture,

and I'm admiring yours.

You know, if I could just
learn to walk like that. You know?

[Grunts]

Mm-hmm.

- Have I got it?
- Mmm.

- What are you doing?
- Nothin'.

- Just, uh--
- He's tryin' to look like me.

- No, it isn't really that, Jackson.
- [Sighs]

Oh, no? I'm sorry.
My mistake, Larry.

Could you two please
cut out the, um--

♪♪ [Woman Vocalizes]

Um-- The, um,

♪♪ [Vocalizing]

nonsense?

[Needles Scratches Across Record]

- Ally?
- Yeah?

- Ally?
- [Gasps] Oh, um, yeah.

- Let's go.
- Right.

[Stumbling]

- Let me just--
- Ally?

♪ I've been down
down, down ♪

♪ I've been down this road ♪

♪ Walkin' the line
that's painted by pride ♪

♪ And I have made mistakes
in my life ♪

♪ That I just can't hide ♪

♪ Oh, I believe I am ready ♪

♪ For what love has to bring
Yeah ♪

♪ I got myself together, yeah ♪

♪ Now I'm ready to sing ♪

♪ I've been searching
my soul tonight ♪

♪ I know there's
so much more to life ♪

♪ Now I know
I can shine a light ♪

♪ To find my way back home ♪

- ♪ Oh ♪
- ♪ Hoo, hoo ♪

♪ Baby, yeah ♪

- ♪ Hoo, hoo ♪
- ♪ Oh, yeah ♪♪

First up-- Moore versus McGrath.
New case. Trial begins today.

I took it out of my enormous
sense of compassion,

not to mention an even more
enormous retainer.

Ally, if you could?
I'd be in your debt. Thank you.

[Groaning] Oh! Oh, Richard!
Trial starts today?

For whatever reason, he wants us.
The pleadings are being messengered over.

You can meet him
at the courthouse.

What's the case?

Our client, Douglas McGrath,

met a woman through
an online dating service.

They fell in love via phone,

then they met in person.
It didn't work out.

She's suing him for fraud.

You can read the complaint
on the way.

- Next up-- Michael Pupnick.
- [Jackson] Yeah, that's me.

He's also being sued
for emotional distress--

for allegedly ruining a wedding.

I could use some backup on this.

- Oh, uh, John?
- No. No, I can't. I'm in a lull.

- Excuse me?
- I am in a lull.

- Oh.
- Just move along, Richard.

Anybody here lull free?
Mark?

Nelle and I have
the Roberts trial next week.

- Yeah, okay. Lingo?
- Why can't you do it?

Is it written somewhere
that you don't work?

[Elaine] John?

- Cassandra Lewis is here for you.
- What?

- Who's Cassandra Lewis?
- John's L.A. wattle.

- What's she doing here?
- I don't know.

- Cassandra?
- Hi, John.

I was in the neighborhood.
I thought I'd say hi. Do you mind?

No, no, no. Of course not.
I'm delighted.

Uh, but wh-what brings you
to Boston?

- Oh, I just came to see you.
- [Chuckles] Oh. Okay.

Well, that-- that's, uh,
great.

- That's, uh, great.
- Shall I go?

No, no, no!
It's just, uh-- I'm just--

Under the heading
of "Life Is Too Short,"

3,000 miles
is only 3,000 miles.

Oh, uh--

- So, and you're here to, uh--
- Pursue you.

Sort of. Well, very minimum,
I thought I'd get a nice lunch.

Well, uh, okay. Let's--

Let's have lunch.

Uh, well.

[Chuckles]
Well, okay.

- Ally.
- Hmm? Larry.

- Hey. Hi. What are you doin' here?
- Hey.

Oh, uh, silly trial--
dating service disaster.

My client is suing for a bad date.

- [Chuckles]
- What?

- I'm not makin' it up.
- No, I know. I'm, uh--

- I'm representing the defendant.
- Excuse me?

Great.

Why didn't you tell me
you were on the--

I just got it.
Why didn't you tell me?

- I just got it day before yesterday.
- Well-- Oh.

So when your client decided
to switch counsels, so did ours...

because he wants us...

because he knew that we were
up against you, and--

Why would he do that?
I beat you.

You've never
really beaten me.

- Well-- Hello. Yeah, I beat you.
- No.

Know what? Even if you have,
you are not gonna win this one.

You don't think?

No. Suing somebody for fraud
because he didn't disclose his appearance?

- Maybe--
- Did you read the complaint?

- Wager.
- Name it.

- One-hour foot rub.
- Make it two.

- You got it.
- You'd better buy the oil, big boy.

You can't sue somebody for fraud
because you don't like how he looks.

- Hmm!
- [Elevator Bell Dings]

Hark! I hear the roar of a client.

Ally McBeal?

Hi. Are you--

You're-- Are you
Doug-Douglas McGrath?

A pleasure.

Thanks for taking my case.
I really appreciate it.

Sure.
[Chuckles]

Michael was there as my friend even.
As a close friend.

It was important to me
to have him be at my wedding.

So of course I was horrified--
horrified, I tell you-- when it happened.

- Horrified!
- Excuse me. You were "horrified"?

I'm not comfortable
with the commentary.

- And why were you horrified?
- He objected.

He raised his hand
and said "Stop!" I was horrified!

It's my understanding that the minister
asked the congregants...

if they knew a reason
why you and your husband...

should not be joined
together in holy matrimony.

- That's just ceremony talk.
- "Ceremony talk."

- Commentary again. Not comfortable.
- He didn't mean it.

He didn't mean it?

No. They say that
at every wedding ceremony.

It doesn't mean that anybody
ever objects. Except for him!

- And you were horrified.
- Not comfortable.

- Ma'am, you did go through
with the ceremony.

- But it was ruined.
- "Ruined."

- Yes.
- Commentary. Discomfort.

A wedding ceremony
has to be perfect.

We hire people
to make it perfect.

We spend thousands of dollars
on dresses and flowers and churches...

to make the damn thing
unforgettable.

We pay a photographer
to be in our faces,

clicking pictures the whole time
to capture all that perfection.

So when an ex-boyfriend leaps up

in the middle of the ceremony
and yells "Stop!",

things cease to be perfect.

The rest of the vows were
exchanged over a murmur.

- A "murmur."
- Yes.

- Discomfort.
- A whispering murmur.

- 350 guests...
- [Sighs]

mumbling with delight
that it wasn't perfect.

It went off with a hitch,
and I am damaged! Look at me!

Wh-What's the big deal?

Richard, she flew
across the country to see me.

You don't see the problem there?
She is pursuing me.

- I thought you liked this woman.
- I do.

- So why are you so upset?
- Because I-- I am.

Oh. Gee, now that you've
clarified it, I--

- John.
- [Screams]

- Oh.
- I'm-- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come.

- Cassandra--
- I'll-I'll have lunch with you.

- Richard, get out.
- Why? You'll tell me

whatever happens anyway.

- Out!
- Fine. It's a little--

Oh.
[Sniffs]

I didn't mean--

I took a silly chance.
I'm sorry.

Cassandra, I am drawn to you.

- You don't have to explain.
- Yes, I do.

I just broke up with a woman,
um, a month ago.

I proposed marriage to her.

Uh, I mean,
even if I were capable...

of just bouncing back
into a saddle,

it wouldn't be fair to her.

Well, do you-- Do you plan
to get back with her?

No. I mean, well-- I don't think so.
But that's not really the point.

Well--
Well, what is the point?

A relationship, if it's a good one,
and this one was--

I mean, there-there should be
a mourning period.

Now, I suspect you didn't fly across
country just for a sexual frolic.

[Laughs]
I mean, did you?

[Laughs]
No.

Do you understand
what I'm saying?

Well, I-I, uh--
I'm not sure.

If you're telling me
that you're not in a place

to have another relationship right now,

well, then I completely understand.

If you're telling me that
you won't allow yourself

to be in that place,

well, then I go back to the original
heading of my trip.

Life is short, John.

You have no idea.

Well, wait.

I said I'd have lunch.

One of the reasons why I engaged
in an online dating service--

The men that I was meeting were
only interested in appearance,

and I didn't want that.

So appearance
wasn't important to you?

No. That's why Douglas and I
never exchanged pictures.

We never even talked about
how we looked. It was irrelevant.

- Okay. So what happened?
- Well--

I had no idea
he was a little person.

- Mm-hmm. That made a difference?
- Yes.

That kind of physicality
is so material.

He should have disclosed it.

How long had you two
been e-mailing?

Six months.

And you never knew
what each other looked like?

Which was one of the things
that I fell in love with about him.

He didn't care.

I'm sorry. I know it's not
politically correct,

but I can't see myself
with a dwarf.

So, uh,
things didn't work out.

But why sue him?

Well, as time went on,
I got angry.

I fell in love with this man.
I quit my job, and I left Illinois.

He materially misrepresented himself.

And as a result, I suffered
both emotionally and financially.

I've been advised to drop it,
to be big about it.

But I just can't.

He knowingly committed a fraud,

and he shouldn't escape
responsibility...

just because he's... little.

So, you e-mailed each other
for six months.

Every day.

Talked about the books
you loved, the movies,

all of the things
that you had in common.

Yes.

And did he ever mislead you
about any of these things?

No.

- Made you laugh?
- He did.

You found him sweet, sensitive?

I loved everything
about him, Ms. McBeal.

But I assumed
he was of normal height.

Did you ever ask him
how tall he was?

No. And he never
volunteered it.

But again, you did make it very clear
that looks were not important.

- Well, yes I did. But if he's disabled--
- You think that he's disabled?

Well, technically,
I know he's not.

But he's three feet tall,
for God sakes.

I mean, he must have
foreseen--

You know what we looked forward
to the most upon meeting?

A simple walk in the park.

More than anything else.
More than sex.

He described
the Boston Common...

and how, on a spring day,
we would walk through the park,

hand-in-hand, two anonymous
people in love.

Well, you can't do that?

It just changes things a little
when you're gawked at.

So, after you met him in person,
did you ever go out with him at all,

just in case there was a possibility that
you could maybe get by this obstacle?

No. I could never.

[Footsteps Approaching]

- Hey.
- Hey.

Okay, so I just finished
talking to, uh, her lawyer.

And they are willing to drop the whole
thing for basically $10,000,

which basically covers
her relocating,

plus lost wages because she quit
her job to move to Boston.

And I think that we should accept.

A judgment could come back
for a lot more.

- No.
- [Groans]

Ms. McBeal, I'm bein' sued
for bein' a little person.

No. You are being sued
for misleading her.

Yes, on the assumption that nobody
could possibly really love me.

[Stammers] I think that we should
look at the merits of the case...

and-and not be blinded
by, um, hurt feelings.

My father got shot
out of cannons for a living.

- Did I tell you that?
- Mm-mmm.

He'd always tell me no normal-sized
woman would ever love me.

"We're freaks."
I refused to buy into that.

Whatever happens
when this case is over,

I'm gonna walk out of that courtroom
with my head held high.

It was nothing I'd planned.

I went to the church happy for
her, to celebrate her wedding.

Yes. Well, I'm not clear as to why
you leaped up in protestation,

sabotaging in perpetuity
the memory of the ceremony,

causing my client
immeasurable distress.

Excuse me. This is a deposition.
At depositions, there are no juries.

So you needn't bother with
the inflammatory remarks

designed for a jury.

There was a hint of scoff
in that remark.

I'm gonna go ahead
and object for the record.

We'll be here all day.
Why did you jump up and yell "Stop!"?

As I said,
I never planned to.

But when the minister said,
"Does anybody know a reason"--

I knew a reason.

- Which was?
- I loved her. And she loved me.

So why'd you break up?

I'm not comfortable with you
asking my questions.

[Growls]

- We love each other, Sylvie.
- I used to love you, Michael.

Now I love Warren.

Please. He drives
a nice car, and he's rich.

- What else do you love about him?
- A lot.

Discomfort.
I'm going to object.

Do you really think her wedding
ceremony was a time to raise this?

It was "Speak now,
or forever hold your peace."

But it was my wedding,
and you ruined--

I should have just stayed quiet
out of ceremony, out of courtesy?

Just give up on the love of my life
because it is the polite thing to do?

They say if a person
is lucky-- lucky--

he or she will come across
one person in a lifetime...

that he can love
and live compatibly with.

My person is you, Sylvie.

I-- I just-- I wasn't
gonna let you slip away...

under some notion that another love
would happen along.

It doesn't work that way.

- So that's why you came here?
- Mm-hmm, pretty much.

I just found myself
thinking of you more and more.

So I said to myself,
"Go visit him."

Well-- [Chuckles]
And the idea of calling first?

You might have said don't.

I didn't want to decrease
the odds of seeing your face.

When you got in that car
and drove off,

all I kept thinking to myself
was, "What if?"

That's a punishing question
to leave hanging, John.

Yes. And did you truly
try to answer it?

I mean, what if
we tried to go out?

You live 3,000 miles away.

I mean, did-did you
ask yourself about that?

Well, I can only
ask you about it.

Because for me,
it's not really an obstacle.

Well, I don't know.

Love is far more pragmatic
than it's cracked up to be.

Are you trying to convince me
of that, or yourself?

I knew my short stature
could be a problem.

[Ally] So you chose
not to tell her?

Well, she claimed
appearance wasn't important.

- But, Douglas--
- I know.

I chose to allow us to get to know
each other before she found out.

- So you, um, e-mailed.
- Wrote letters.

Spoke on the phone.

Then as the day came that
we would meet in person,

I planned to tell her.

- But?
- I was afraid she wouldn't come.

Right. So you chose
to let her come not knowing?

My hope was that after
spending some time with me,

the shock would wear off...

and all those things that made
her fall in love with me to begin with...

they count most.

So yes, I let her come not knowing.

You didn't just let her come,
did you, Douglas?

- May I call you Douglas?
- No. That's a little informal.

He shouldn't be treated with
any less respect

just because
he happens to be small.

- He shouldn't.
- Mr. McGrath.

You didn't just let her come.
You let her quit her job.

You let her relocate and move here
from over a thousand miles away.

Yes.

Knowing or at least suspecting,
if I understand your testimony,

that she wouldn't come
if she knew the truth.

Objection-- assuming facts
not in evidence.

- Argumentative. Leading.
- Oh, could you pick one?

I pick all three. It's
a multi-objectionable question.

Overruled,
overruled and overruled.

Sit down, Ms. McBeal.

You didn't tell her your height because
you were afraid she wouldn't move here.

Yes.

And when you e-mailed
for six months--

Those were intimate discussions,
were they not, Mr. McGrath?

Very intimate.

You shared your dreams, your fears,
even a lot of your medical history.

- Didn't you?
- We did.

But you left out
you were three feet tall.

Yes.

And, Mr. McGrath,
wasn't one of the reasons

you left out this little nugget,

you were afraid she wouldn't fall in love
with you had she known your true size?

Yes.

[Sighs]

- You didn't have to beat him up.
- I didn't beat him up.

Oh, you did, Larry.
You were a bully.

Uh-uh. Bully? No.

Yeah. When you pick on somebody
who's smaller than you,

that makes you a bully.

Okay, if you're gonna
get all angry--

- I'm not angry.
- You're not angry?

- I'm not angry.
- Oh.

You're taking clean dishes
from the cupboard

and putting them in the washer.

- Well, that's because I'm bored.
- Bored.

Yes, I'm bored.
And stop making me repeat myself,

because that is what
is gonna make me angry.

Ah.

And I'll let you know what really upsets
me, if you would like to know,

is that I don't understand how you can
believe in the merits

of your client's actions.

I mean, what kind of a woman locates
love on physical appearance?

Let's just think about this.
Think about this.

All right.

- Think about if I were a midget.
- Little person.

- Well, right, little--
- That's okay, go ahead.

Just-- If I were three feet tall,
would you still love me?

Okay, so are you telling me

if you'd walked into Tracy's
therapy office months ago...

and there I stood, three feet tall,
that you and I would be standing here?

- Well--
- Liar.

- Don't call me that.
- You would never fall for a midget.

- Oh. Little person?
- You never would.

You know what, Larry?
First of all, I'm not big on looks.

- Right. You're not big on looks.
- I just said that.

And does everyone mark off
on his or her calendar...

903 more days
till my first face-lift?

Hmm. That's nice. I share with you
one personal insecurity--

Right. About your appearance.

Oh, stop changing the subject.

- What subject?
- Midgets.

Oh, that is not funny.
You know what?

You wouldn't love me
if I were one, would you?

So. You know, I never-- I never realized
how shallow and superficial you are.

And I am-- [Squeaks]

not gonna sleep with you
tonight, Larry.

Wait.

- Well-- [Murmurs]
- [Door Slams]

[Doorknob Turns]

So I suppose if I'm old
and gray and wrinkled one day,

you'll no longer love me?

No, I--

I'll still love you.
You'll still be tall.

[Door Slams]

So, we just have closing arguments
left, and then we're done.

- Unless you want to settle.
- I don't.

Wow. Look, Nelle.
It's a midget.

What?

My grandfather once told me that you could
measure the dignity of a person...

by how able he is to see
the dignity in others.

- I don't get it.
- Mmm.

Was it a riddle?

You know, Ling, I'm having
an online relationship.

You are?

Yeah. And I have no idea
what he looks like.

Nelle, are you crazy?
You know looks are everything.

- I don't need to tell you that.
- I know.

I don't like sex.
This kinda works out perfectly.

- Are you ever gonna meet him?
- I don't know.

Ling? I got the lawyer
coming back in.

- I'm gonna try to settle.
- Is everything okay?

- Not really.
- Oh.

Well, there's a midget
in Ally's office.

Could I steal you
for a second?

What?

Uh, I don't mean to be--
to be inappropriate, or--

Is this gonna be some deep thought?
I don't respond to them.

I'm in love with you.

I broke off my engagement
because of you.

I came to work here,
in part, because of you.

And I tried to respect the fact
that you don't want to go there.

But after hearing
our client today...

and how one person--

and how another
might not happen,

it hit me, and I can't--

It's you. And I can't
not be out with that.

You're with Renee.

- Is that the obstacle? Because--
- No. No.

Then why did you
sleep with me that night?

And because that was so
not your personality.

You were passionate
and reckless and--

Jackson, what I felt for you
that night,

I don't feel now.

I don't believe you.

Yeah, yeah. I--
I don't have time for this.

And after dinner?

Well, I walked her back
to her hotel.

I am-- I'm confounded, Richard.

Women find me so irresistible lately.
I mean, what is it?

- You've got money.
- Uh, it's--

And women love power.

She saw you in action.
Add to that, you're sensitive.

You're a rich, powerful man
with feelings.

How many guys you know
like that besides me?

- Has she left yet?
- No, she's here another day.

There's the age difference.
There's the geographical.

There's Melanie. I'm not sure
I'm completely over her yet.

Melanie was weird, John.
Nice lady, but strange.

And I don't mean the Tourette's.
She didn't believe in marriage.

It would've been a disaster.

And let's not forget,
she killed her last boyfriend.

These are the personality
glitches to shy away from.

Now, as for the geography issue
with you and Cassandra.

Hello. There are planes.

Plus with that kind of distance,

you're forced to use the phone,
which means you have to talk.

Communication can sometimes
be better in long-distance romances.

Not to mention, when she's out of town,
it's easier to cheat. Fishism.

And here's
a little-known secret.

Older women--
smarter, sexier, better.

I mean, not even close.
And this one? Oh.

She's pretty, John.
With big breasts.

She's well-endowed, pretty,
rich in wattle. She's a goddess.

The real question--
The only question is,

uh, if you don't want her,
can I take a shot?

What? No!

- Why?
- [Stammering] Wh-Wh-- Because!

- Well, John, if you're not interested--
- No, it's not that.

What if she likes me?
She came all this way.

I'm only saying,
if you're not interested--

I'm interested.

- Then go to her.
- I can't. I'm in a lull.

- Then let me. Selfish.
- No! I'm not selfish.

You don't want her.
You don't want anyone else to want her.

You're not even her type.

Then what's the harm?
At least she'll feel flattered.

- Richard--
- She flew 3,000 miles.

You want to deny her
feeling good about herself?

Don't twist things.

I'm only saying, if it's
not in the cards for you--

- Is it?
- I-I-- I don't see it.

- But I'm--
- Excellent.

How do you get out of here?

- Well, Richard--
- Yeah.

- [Beeps]
- I'll just ask her to dance.

Let it be her decision.

Should he have told her?
Perhaps, yes.

But did he defraud her?

- [Jurors] Yes!
- Objection.

Don't talk back to the lawyer.

She was asking a rhetorical
question. Continue.

Hmm. He was the one
who was rejected here.

And then to make things worse,
he then gets sued,

okay, under the theory
that it was unreasonable...

for any woman to fall in love
with a man like him.

- Did you consider that?
- No.

Don't answer
the lawyers' questions.

For little people, like Douglas McGrath,
there is love in the world.

He was just looking for it
in the wrong place.

Now, imagine a woman being so cruel
that she rejects a man for being tiny.

Then imagine that same woman going out
and finding herself a sleazy lawyer...

to ask the jury
to give her money.

Six months, they talked
every night--

their hobbies, their opinions
on politics, religion.

They have everything in common
be it values, sense of humor.

They become... intimate.

They agree to spend the rest of their
lives together, happily ever after.

Finally, they meet in person.

He then says, "By the way,
did I mention I was a midget?"

[Scoffs] He admitted--

Mr. McGrath admitted he intentionally
withheld this information...

because he feared she wouldn't fall
in love, she wouldn't move.

He intentionally deceived her.

She relied on his deception to her
financial and emotional detriment.

She suffered damages.

As a matter of law,
she should be compensated.

That's this case.
Period.

You don't get to defraud people
just because you're short.

Okay, so I settled
the case for 11,000.

Both parties seem pleased, though
her lawyer wasn't, uh, "comfortable."

So, it's over?
I can shop.

Yeah. Listen, uh--
[Clears Throat]

I pride myself on being
a pretty good barometer...

as far as people's feelings
are concerned.

So you can understand
if I'm a bit, uh, confused.

Let's leave it at that.
You're confused.

Okay. I apologized last time
for imposing my desires.

But this time, I don't.

Excuse me.

- Hey.
- [Sighs]

Okay. I keep picking up some weird
chemical thing around you two.

- Is anything going on?
- No.

- Would you like there to be?
- No.

Ah. What happened that night
you went to bed with him?

I lost control.
That's all.

I mean, he's beautiful
and charming. I--

- I lost control.
- Hmm.

Well, if he's interested now, why not?

Because.

Ling, there are lots of reasons
for running from a man.

Fear of losing control
isn't one of the better ones.

Thank you, Dear Blonde Abby,
whose ideal man is online.

- ♪♪ [Band: Up Tempo]
- [Ikettes] ♪ Ooh, ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Somethin' about ya
Ooh, ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Darlin', darlin' ♪

♪ If I could have you
to call my very own ♪

♪ I'd work my fingers
to the bone I'd never roam ♪

♪ To you I'd always
come home, yeah ♪

- What do you mean he's pulling back?
- I can just tell.

Well, you certainly seemed to be working
up a sweat the other night.

- Sport sex.
- Sport sex?

Sport sex. He wasn't
makin' eye contact.

- Oh, come on, Renee.
- No, it was sport sex.

- I know when a guy's gone off me, Ally.
- Well, where is he now?

Good question.

♪♪ [Continues]

♪ I'm just your puppet on a string ♪

♪ And tears
sometimes you bring ♪

♪ But do me
any way you wanna ♪

♪♪ [Continues]

- Hey, Cassandra.
- Oh, hi, Richard.

- Have you seen John?
- Yeah, I just left him.

- He'll be right down.
- Good.

- Are you enjoying Boston?
- Yes. It's very nice.

- Oh.
- Why do you keep doing that?

- What?
- You keep touching my neck.

Oh. Yeah, uh, long story.
You, uh, you care to dance?

I-- I think
I'll wait for John.

Oh. Oh, no, no, no.
Don't worry.

He gave me his blessing.
He told me to go for it.

- Go for what?
- You know, uh, it.

- Bygones.
- What do you mean by "it"?

- Uh, nothing.
- Me?

Well, look. See, John doesn't
really get the concept of, uh, road trip.

You know, I get it.
That's why we went to L.A.

Oh, is it? Mmm.

John, he wants you
to have fun.

He just doesn't know if he can
necessarily provide it.

He told me to, you know,
look after you.

Ah. Mmm. I see.

The point is, you came a long way.
I happen to love old women.

- You know, everything works out, so--
- Yes.

- What did I miss?
- Oh. Mmm.

Just this.

Wow.

Oh!

Buddy, what did you say?

- He dumped you?
- Well, let's just say he was honest.

Oh, please.
What was this honesty?

- He still loves Ling.
- Ally, you ready?

Larry, could you
beat up Jackson today?

- Could you do that for me today?
- Have to check my schedule.

- What'd he do now?
- He was honest with Renee.

Look, Ally, I'm okay.

The truth is, Jackson's
a little smooth for me.

- That's not the point, is it, Larry?
- [Beeps]

I'm free after lunch.
I'll beat him up then.

Please don't make fun of me.

You're already on thin ice
for not loving me if I were half my size.

Ally, stay out of it.

See, Renee, that's something
that I'm not very good at.

- Stay out of it, please?
- He was using you, Renee.

What makes you think
I wasn't using him?

Were you?

No.

[Knocking]

[Clears Throat]

Oh, my. If I'd known I'd gotten so even,
I would've taken your phone calls.

Richard explained to me
what he said to you.

I never gave him a green light
to ask you out.

He argued that since I was
unwilling to pursue the subject,

that I had no right to prohibit him
from approaching you.

Fine. You can go.

Cassandra, of course
I'm interested.

You know that. That's why
you got on that plane--

to act on my attraction
as well as your own.

But love hasn't worked out for me
in my own office building.

How can I possibly succeed
with 3,000 miles between us?

I didn't come here to convince you we
should be in a relationship, John.

Why did you come?

I suppose because I-I--

I couldn't convince myself
that we shouldn't be.

Well, if you're looking for me
to provide that answer,

then your trip has been a complete bust,
because I-I don't have a clue.

And what makes you think that's not
the very answer I came looking to hear?

[Stammering]
Now I'm completely confounded.

Help me with my luggage?
The car will be here.

Soon.

♪♪ [Wizard of Oz:
"Wicked Witch's Theme"]

- Hey, Richard.
- Lingo.

Richard?

Do you ever think about picking up
where we left off?

- Uh, I do, but--
- But what?

We didn't leave off anywhere.

That would hurt my feelings
if I had them.

That's a good thing, Ling.
I mean, think of it.

We can get back together anytime--
tomorrow, a year from tomorrow, whatever--

and we won't
have missed a beat.

- How can you top that for security?
- Don't you miss me?

- Yes.
- And Jackson doesn't bother you?

Oh, a little, but, you know,
we're soul mates, Ling.

And we'll probably
get back together.

- You think?
- Yeah. We're emotional guppies.

Eventually, we'll always reunite
in the shallow end of the pool.

Yeah.

[Judge] Members of the jury,
have you reached a verdict?

- We have, Your Honor.
- What say you?

In the matter
of Moore versus McGrath,

we find in favor
of the plaintiff...

and order that he pay damages
in the amount of $70,000.

This concludes your service.
Thank you for your time. We're adjourned.

- Sorry.
- Wow.

I guess that's a message.

No, it's just a verdict.
Nothing more.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah.

I think I just needed
to hear that jury say...

the idea of a woman loving me
wasn't so far-fetched.

Mmm. Well, I'll say it.

You know, you will find somebody.

You know, love is, uh--
Well, it's like an obstacle course.

Some people let the obstacles win,
and then there are those who don't.

Yeah.

Well, I promised myself
I'd walk out with my head high.

And that's exactly
what I'm gonna do.

- You're a fine person.
- So are you.

- Bye, Ally.
- Bye.

I'm glad you came.

I admit
I'm totally confounded.

But, for whatever reason,
I'm glad.

Well, if you can
admit that,

I suppose I can admit
I'm glad you're confounded.

Am I just totally irresistible?

Totally.

See, I--

- I'm not ready.
- Okay.

So, perhaps now you're about
to feel what it's like.

Feel what what it's like?

What it was like for me to just stand
there quietly and watch you drive away.

Most men so forget
how to be soft.

Good-bye, John.

[Vonda]
♪ I'll say good-bye to love ♪

♪ No one ever cared ♪

♪ If I should live or die ♪

♪ Time and time again ♪

♪ The chance for love
has passed me by ♪

♪ And all I know of love ♪

♪ Is how to live
without it ♪

♪ I just can't seem
to find it ♪

♪ So I've made my mind up ♪

♪ I must live my life alone ♪

♪ And though it's not
the easy way ♪

♪ I guess I've always known ♪

♪ I say good-bye to love ♪

♪ There are no tomorrows ♪

♪ For this heart of mine ♪

♪ Surely, time will lose
these bitter memories ♪

♪ And I'll find
that there is ♪

♪ Someone to believe in
and to live for ♪

♪ Something I could live for ♪

[Man]
♪ Something I could live for ♪

♪ All the years
of useless search ♪

♪ Have finally
reached an end ♪

♪ Loneliness and empty days
will be my only friend ♪

♪ From this day
love is forgotten ♪

- ♪ I'll go on as best I can ♪
- ♪ I'll go on as best I can ♪

♪ I'll say good-bye to love ♪

♪ There are no tomorrows ♪

♪ For this heart of mine ♪

♪ Surely, time will lose
these bitter memories ♪

♪ And I'll find
that there is ♪

♪ Someone to believe in
and to live for ♪

♪ Something I could
live for ♪

♪ And it's good-bye to love ♪

♪ I'll say good-bye to love ♪♪

[woman]
You stinker!