All language subtitles for Ally.McBeal.S04E17.2000.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.AAC-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

Previously on Ally McBeal.

-[ Gasps ]
-Hey, hey.

-Hey.
-Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm.

-Hey.
-No, no, no, no.

It's-It's not what you think.

-What's going on?
-I really was going for the remote.

I don't think it's working out.

Sorry.

Wait. Wait!

Are you saying we need to talk about
things, or are you saying we're done?

We're done.

What do you mean
you're going to Los Angeles?

-Just a two-day R & R.
-Are you willing...

to get in the same room
with your dreams, Jane?

Okay.

-Freeze!
-Get down on the floor!

-Whoa, whoa, whoa!
-She was a hooker?

We're looking to broaden ourselves
culturally, uh, a little.

It's not like I want to
stop seeing you, but--

I'm a very monogamous person.

When I'm in a relationship,
I'm in the relationship.

Well, then, if you're in a relationship
with me, Elaine, you need to act like it.

[ Vonda ]
♪ Each night before ♪

♪ I go to bed, my baby ♪

♪ I say a little ♪

♪ Prayer for you, my baby ♪

♪ And tell ♪

♪ All the stars above ♪

♪ This is dedicated
to the one I love ♪

Uh, no, no. Now-- Now, who said anything
about redecorating?

I did. If we cohabitate, we "co-decorate."
That's it. End of discussion.

-No, no. Shush, shush! Men--
-I won't debate it.

Men--Men cannot decorate.
It's nature.

-It is genetic.
-Uh-huh. All right.

And then, men, by nature--
they need to mark their turf.

So, tomorrow, I'm telling you, we're going
to Sears to pick out a sofa.

Oh, hey, hey, shush. Shush. I'm tryin'
to-- There's Elaine and Mark.

-All right.
-[ Sighs ]

-Wait a minute. That's not Mark.
-No, that's not... Mark.

-Wait. Wait. Wait. Who is that guy?
-Well--

[ Gasps ] Oh, Larry. I don't--
I don't like the looks of this.

All right. Ally, just wait.
Slow down.

It's probably,
like, a cousin or a friend.

-Can't women have friends?
-[ Gasps ]

-Oops. Hmm.
-Oh.

-Okay.
-[ Larry ] See? She's not into it. Look.

She's just being polite.
She just-- She wants him to go away.

Oh, God. Mmm.

-What the... hell?
-[ Door Slams ]

♪ I've been down down, down ♪

♪ I've been down this road ♪

♪ Walkin' the line
that's painted by pride ♪

♪ And I have made mistakes
in my life ♪

♪ That I just can't hide ♪

♪ Oh, I believe I am ready ♪

♪ For what love has to bring
Yeah ♪

♪ I got myself together, yeah ♪

♪ Now I'm ready to sing ♪

♪ I've been searching
my soul tonight ♪

♪ I know there's
so much more to life ♪

♪ Now I know
I can shine a light ♪

♪ To find my way back home ♪

-♪ Oh ♪
-♪ Hoo, hoo ♪

♪ Baby, yeah ♪

-♪ Hoo, hoo ♪
-♪ Oh, yeah ♪

Uh, first up, uh, welcome back
John and me.

L.A. was great.
We missed you all.

Yes. How was L.A.?
Did you find what you were looking for?

Yes. People with warmth.

It was a culture shock,
you snippy-ass Popsicle.

-John.
-She started it.

She called me an imbecile.

Um, uh, no, she didn't.

Hey. She implied it with her little
"How was L.A.?" tone.

She disparaged the idea
of us going down there, did it with tone.

Her put-downs are tonal.
I don't have to take it, damn it.

You know, I'm senior partner.
Check out the damn firm résumé.

Senior partners don't have to
tolerate snippy-ass tones...

from platinum-dyed Popsicles.

Yeah. Move along, Richard.
We're all busy here.

Uh, okay.
Uh, uh, first up,

Gilbert Breen, longtime client,
uh, getting married-- wonderful man.

Coming in to update his will.
Jackson, you do trusts and estates.

I'd like you to meet with him.
Bride's beautiful. Uh, he's not.

Did-Did I mention he's, uh, fat,
bald, rich?

J-Just to be safe, uh, prenup.

Uh, next up, Thompson
versus Thompson Shipping.

-Mine.
-Uh, care to share?

Client runs
a shipping company.

His son is trying to have him
declared incompetent...

-based on the grounds that he's happy.
-Happy?

-Yes.
-Being happy makes a person incompetent.

Now, that is bloody rich.

Elaine. Elaine. Can I, um,

-speak to you for a second?
-Oh, sure.

Uh--

-How are you?
-What's the matter?

Oh, no, no, no. I'm just curious.
We haven't spoken in a while,

and is everything okay?

-How are you and Mark doing?
-We're doing fine. Why?

Oh, are-are you two still
seeing each other?

Yes.

-Exclusively?
-Ally, what are you getting at?

I just happened to be
walking by your place last night,

and I saw you outside kissing another man,
and then I watched you drag him inside.

Oh.

Oh.

Is that all you have
to say? "Oh"?

Do I owe you an explanation
on my personal life?

No. You don't owe me an explanation.
But I really want to know.

I slipped.

You slipped?

It was a man.

I was in a dating service
a year ago.

We selected each other on tape.

We had one date before
he got transferred out of town.

Then he got transferred
back into town.

We bumped into each other
on the street.

We agreed to have lunch.

Then we had to cancel, and we
rescheduled for an evening.

I had a glass of wine, I gave him a short
kiss good-bye, and then I slipped.

-Did you make love to him?
-A little.

A little?

Ally, I am extremely
ashamed of myself.

And you have no idea how it feels to see
myself through your eyes at the moment.

Uh, Nelle. Nelle.

I just want to say I'm-I'm
sorry for my hostility.

I just--I think, truth be
told, I'm just missing Melanie.

I understand, John.

And if I can help
in any way--

Poop.

Thank you.

So, when is the wedding?

-Ah. May 5. Cinco de Mayo.
-Excellent.

-Anything specific in regards to the will?
-Uh, uh--No, no.

Just, well, going from
being a bachelor to a couple.

Ally. Ally.
Could you do me a favor?

Julie, I'm gonna need a list
from you of beneficiaries.

Friends, family, people you'd bequeath to,
names we need to add.

Could you sit with Ally for just a second,
think of who you'd want to name?

-Um--
-It'll only take a second.

-Sure.
-Okay.

-Sure.
-Okay.

My father built this company
on his toughness.

I wouldn't go as far as to call him
ruthless, but many did.

Then, uh, after the accident--

Could you tell us
about the accident, sir?

He was visiting
the shipping docks one day, and he was...

struck in the head by a piece of
loading equipment.

The doctors say that the trauma
caused a structural lesion on his brain.

Basically, it was a blood clot.
It changed him.

-Changed him how?
-Well, he became nice.

The clot releases
a chemical into his brain...

that basically
makes him euphoric.

He's happy all the time now.

-And this is a problem?
-It is to run a company.

My father's lost his edge.

He no longer cares about getting
the upper hand in a deal.

He refuses to fire bad workers.
He caves in to union demands.

He spent a quarter of a million dollars
on a day care center.

Our-Our company's
stock is dropping.

If this keeps up,
we could all go bankrupt.

-He has become incompetent.
-Can your father be cured, Kenneth?

Yes. With a simple procedure.

They could drain the clot,
and he'd go back to normal.

But he doesn't want it.

He likes feeling this way.

-Can he manage his affairs?
-Yes, but--

-Does he change his underwear?
-I haven't checked on that.

-Does he need live-in help?
-No.

He takes care of your mother,
doesn't he?

When I say "incompetent,"
I mean incompetent to run a business.

He--He's not crazy.
He--He's just--

-Too happy to be a good C.E.O.
-Basically, yes.

And we have shareholders.

He is destroying the company.
We could all lose everything.

A prenup?

They're actually pretty common these days.
I understand that, but--

-[ Sighs ] They seem so fatalistic.
-Mmm.

A marriage is a leap of trust.

It seems wrong to be
preparing for its demise.

Mr. Breen, uh,

now, I don't know you.

I don't know Julie.

And I'm definitely,
definitely not passing judgment

on the future of your relationship.

But I gotta be honest with you.

Over half of all marriages-- they bust up,
and that's just a fact.

How do I tell her, "Honey, sign a prenup"?
It seems really--

Easy, easy, easy.
You let me do that. That's my job.

Again, Gilbert, I'm not commenting on
the viability of your marriage.

But you have assets
totaling over $11 million.

She's still paying off
her school loans.

Let your lawyer protect you.

-[ Air Whooshing ]
-You with me?

[ Pen Clicks ]

So, uh, Snowbird?

Yeah. Well, we both like to ski,
so, honeymoon on the slopes.

Ally. Would you mind
terribly if I put these in your office?

They should get some light.

Well--Um, well, wow.
Who--Who sent them?

Nice flowers, Ally. Larry?

Yes.

Did I hear my name?

Yeah. Yeah. You're makin' me look bad.
Could you cut it out?

He means these beautiful flowers
that you sent Ally.

Right, Ally? That's what he means.
And please, don't you deny it.

Uh-huh.

Honey. It hurts. I cut myself.
I was using your razor.

Ah. Julie, Ally.

Do we have beneficiaries?

We do.

Excellent. Julie, I gotta
be honest with you. It's, uh--

It's my job to protect Gilbert.

And I've been browbeating him
about this prenup thing,

and he keeps telling me no,

you two are forever, and that
I shouldn't waste his time.

Yeah. So I'm just gonna draft up
a standard boilerplate provision,

and that'll be that.

-Okay.
-Basically, it's a 50-50 split,

should the marriage
last five years.

Provided you don't do anything crazy
and end the marriage, it stays 50-50.

It's against my better judgment, but it's
tough, uh, convincing a man who's in love.

-Uh, I-I ha-- I hate to butt in--
-Mm-hmm.

But since, technically, we have
two separate parties here,

even though they're in complete agreement,
technically I think that Julie...

should probably have a separate
lawyer just to cover us.

-What are you doing?
-Uh, Larry. Hey.

Julie, I'm sorry.
This is Larry Paul.

He's a great lawyer
who doesn't work here.

What are you doing?

Larry, just to cover us, do you think that
you could represent Julie?

-Excuse me?
-I mean, just-just go over...

the prenups that Jackson's been
drafting for Gilbert and--

Yeah, I-I just think that-that Julie
should probably have...

separate counsel,
and, you know, I'm a--

-I'm a stickler for procedure.
-Well--

-Please?
-Okay.

Great.

So, uh, we will, um,
be in touch.

Okay. Thank you.

My pleasure.

-Oh, uh, you too, Jackson.
-Sure.

What the hell was that?

Oh. Well--Oh, no.

I was just trying to make sure that
everything is on the up-and-up.

Isn't that the way
you like to do things,

Jackson?

Meeting?
What-What-What meeting?

Ally thought it would be ethical if
Julie got her own attorney.

So now we have a meeting.

Ally, what's this I'm hearing
about ethics?

-Never mind.
-Ally. Ethics have no place in a law firm.

Elaine, don't you think that you should
come into my office...

and water those nice flowers that
I got from Larry?

-[ Elevator Bell Dings ]
-Look, Ally. I called him,

thanked him, and then told him I couldn't
see him again, all right?

-See who?
-[ Both Gasp ]

-Mark.
-The man you had dinner with last night?

Why? What are you talking about?

I didn't have any dinner
with any man last night.

-Buddy of mine saw you.
-Oh, please.

I mean, I-I-I--
I was with Ally.

[ Sniffing ]

Ooh. Cramps.

[ Groaning ]

Ooh. I-I'm late for a meeting.

Just because he doesn't
like the decisions I make.

There's more to running
a business than making money.

But isn't that the point
of a business--to make money?

Well, maybe, in time,
the company will become...

more productive because of
the happy employees.

Everyone refuses
to consider that.

Henry, your own son is trying to remove
you. How does that make you feel?

-I'm devastated.
-You don't seem devastated.

Ye--No. Well, uh,

I-I should say that it--
it is an awful thing,

but, uh,
I guess I'm still happy.

What do you say to these charges

that you caused the stock
of this company to plunge?

Oh, I say I know
what I'm doing.

The wages of my workers
are important.

And day care is important.
Uh, uh, quality of life is important.

That's not what you used to say,
is it, Henry?

No, I-I was miserable before.

I was a penny-pinching curmudgeon.
[ Chuckles ]

If I were to go on feeling
that way, maybe they should call me crazy.

How long have you been
married, Mr. Thompson?

Thirty-seven years.

-Happily?
-Oh, yes.

-So, where's your wife today?
-She's home.

-Is she ill?
-She has cancer.

How much money have you lost personally
in the last year, Mr. Thompson?

Oh. Almost a million dollars.
[ Chuckles ]

Your business is failing,
you've lost almost a million dollars,

your own son is turning on you,
and your wife has cancer.

-But life is grand?
-Yes.

It is.
[ Laughs ]

Basically, this prenup...

says she gets nothing
if the marriage ends within five years.

Look. If she loves him as much
as she claims to, Larry,

then it's really a nonissue.

Yeah. Unless he turns out
not to love her, Jackson.

-Which is--
-Look, look, look.

I'm just trying to protect
a nice man should anything--

You're asking Julie to give up what's
legally hers in consideration for what?

I mean, I miss how she benefits
from this lovely document.

-Love that name.
-Man-to-man here, all right?

We both know, uh,
what the law provides.

We also know how young,
beautiful women can capitalize on it,

especially at the expense
of fat, rich, bald guys.

Uh, I won't let her sign it.

Well, does she have
a problem with it, Larry?

She will when her lawyer
tells her to.

-Larry.
-Jackson.

-Larry.
-Jackson.

Would you like me to tell him
that she only wants him for his money?

Uh, tell him you presume that,
since he's fat, rich and bald.

-I like your style.
-[ Whispers ] I hate yours.

Excuse me?

Elaine, how could you put me
in that position?

I panicked.

Ally, I'm a terrible,
terrible liar.

If I say it was with a friend,
he'll just start asking questions.

But if you say that we were all together,
it'll just be the end of it.

-Elaine, I-I-I just can't lie.
-Why not?

-Well, because.
-Oh.

I've spent almost my whole adult life
without a boyfriend.

Well, gee. I wonder why.

This isn't the kind
of mistake men forgive.

Elaine, you're--
you're cheating on him.

This isn't the kind of mistake
that he should forgive.

I made a mistake.

Yes. And you made another
one by asking me to lie.

Okay.

No, no, no. Don't-Don't--
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

-What are you gonna do?
-I'm gonna tell him the truth.

-Are you nuts?
-Well--

If you tell him you slept with another
man, that is it.

-So I should lie?
-Yes!

-It's okay if I just lie to him?
-Well, in this situation, you have to.

Then why can't you?

I... love him this way.

-You do?
-Yes.

Before, all he thought about
was money and competition.

Now he's loving and kind.

Who needs to be cured from that?

Well, your own son
is saying so.

Well, that's because he was raised under
the influence of the way Henry used to be.

He's also worried
about stocks...

and shareholders
and profits.

He should get a little dose
of his father's sickness.

Your Honor,
may I approach?

-Why?
-I-I'd like to kiss my wife.

Denied.

You see that?

Before he got that bonk
on the head,

he wouldn't think of
kissing me in public.

I'd be lucky to get a peck
on the cheek in private.

But this is not the man
you've known all your life.

-You admit that?
-No, I don't admit that.

He's the same man.
He's just kinder.

But that doesn't mean that he doesn't
think the same thoughts or--

Well, he never thought
to give away money before.

Well, that's because
he's kinder.

What kind of a society...

are we living in...

when charity
is considered a disease?

Yes, he was ruthless.

I don't understand why
we're not all celebrating.

-He isn't well, Mom.
-By whose definition?

-The man has a blood clot on his brain.
-Are you well, Kenny?

-All right. That's enough.
-The ship is sinking.

-Kenny, sit down.
-[ All Shouting ]

Everybody's fighting.

-[ Shouting Continues ]
-Quiet. Quiet. Quiet.

Quiet.

That's enough.

[ Vonda ] Mmm.
[ Chuckles ]

♪ I'm happy so happy
walkin' on air ♪

♪ Why and the wherefore
with someone I care for ♪

Yeah. Yee-ha!

[ Doorbell Rings ]

-Hey, sweetie.
-Hey. Ready?

-Two seconds.
-Mmm.

Hurry up, girl.

Ooh. Ally.

Larry.

Jackson.

Okay.
What-What am I missing?

Jackson's upset I didn't
commit malpractice...

and advise Julie to sign
a ludicrous prenup.

What's ludicrous is that
your client even cares.

Marriage should be about love.

Now, a prenup--
that's about money.

-Whose idea was the prenup, Jackson?
-Okay.

Okay. You know, Jackson, you were a little
dicey just tryin' to slide in--

-Excuse me. "Dicey"?
-Well, representing the--

You know what? I'm not even
in the mood for your issues.

My issues? What are my issues?

-Look, lady.
-Ally.

-Jackson.
-First, you're kissing me.

-I thought you were him.
-Then you climbed into bed.

I thought you were her.

And your hands were
all up on my privates.

Because I thought
it was the remote control.

Hold on.

-You found the remote, didn't you?
-It did feel...

like the remote control--
hard, plastic.

-Please. Don't flatter yourself.
-Excuse me?

Excuse me too. You had
your hand on his "remote"?

-Hard plastic?
-Uh, men have it when they're sleeping.

-Remotes?
-No. Erections.

And it had nothin' to do
with her thin little hand.

Oh, well, isn't that
the remote calling the wrist skinny.

-What? Sk--
-All right.

Come on.

[ Humming ]

So, uh, you kissed him,
got into bed with him and...

grabbed his remote.

Why should he lose?

Well, despite happy workers,
quality of life, all that,

when you have shareholders, the price of
the stock is all that matters.

-And it's going down.
-I know it's bad.

But things are gonna get better.
I can tell.

Henry, your son would like to take one
last crack at settling this.

We might as well try.

Going to court--
so boring.

Okay.

I'll set a meeting
for the morning.

Let's go home, honey.
It's late.

May I...
take you to dinner?

-Why, yes. You may. [ Chuckles ]
-[ Chuckles ]

See you tomorrow, Ling.
I've got a date. [ Chuckles ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Toilet Flushes ]

Hello.

I'm a big, fat fool.

-Oh. Well--
-And I'm bald.

Yeah, well--

I see that you're not...
especially attractive.

Do you have a wife?

Oh, fine. I suppose
that cheap-ass...

Popsicle-toe Pop-Tart
put you up to this.

Well, let me tell you
somethin', pup tent.

I don't appreciate the put-downs.
Where is she anyway, huh?

When I was seven,
my mother put me on a diet.

And she said, "If you're fat, no girl
will ever love you."

[ Chuckles ]
I told her, "You're wrong, Mom.

I'll find her.
There's a woman out there to love me."

And I vowed to myself,
"I'll study hard,

"I'll become rich, successful,
and women will want me.

Just you wait."

"Just you wait."

So, what do I do?

I become a millionaire.

And they want me.

But for my money.

Well, I'm sure that isn't true.

Well, I'll never know, will I?

If you have money,
it's always a factor.

She's beautiful.

Maybe it is for my money.

Uh--I mean,
I'm sure it isn't, uh--

Why else would she
fall for that?

Well--

[ Elevator Bell Dings ]

Oh. Jackson. Excellent. Listen.

Uh, Gilbert's a little
concerned, and so--so am I.

Yeah, well, we have another
meeting scheduled for today.

They'll be coming in at--

-I'm gonna need that room.
-Oh, uh, they'll be done soon.

Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah--
This is--

Ally. I started to tell him
the truth last night,

but it wasn't going so well,
so I stuck with the lie,

the whole lie and nothing but the lie,

including the part that I was with you
last night.

-Elaine.
-Oh, Ally. It's not perfect, okay?

Ally?

I should be in a soap opera--
As My Vagina Turns.

-Can you imagine going through life happy?
-And kind.

[ Scoffs ] I think it's starting
to rub off on me.

I had a dream last night I hit a guy in a
wheelchair and pulled over to help.

-[ Groans ] Good luck.
-[ Groans ]

Well, have we made
any progress?

No. He still wants to
take me down, my own son.

Dad--

We made what we thought
was a good proposal.

He stays on as C.E.O., but all operating
decisions will be vested with the board.

In other words,
I'm a figurehead.

Dad, not to ruin your day, but, please,
just take a look at these projections...

and where we'll be in five years
if this keeps up.

Son--

Like Mom testified--and you
did--you're not crazy.

You can still read
a balance sheet.

And as tickled as you are,
you can face a fiscal reality.

The problem is, Kenny,
I don't agree with your analysis.

-[ Groans ]
-We'll be less profitable, perhaps,

but we'll be viable
and healthy and--and--

Yes, and-and these figures
don't take into account...

a surge in productivity.

-Because there's no basis.
-A happy worker is an efficient worker.

Isn't that what we say, Ling?

-Yes.
-[ Attorney ] There's got to be a way...

to divide power here
and avoid this train wreck.

Yeah. Th-This is Thompson.

[ Man On Phone ]
Uh, your mother--

-What?
-She had heart failure.

When?

[ Man On Phone ]
This morning.

[ Man Continues, Indistinct ]

Oh, I--

Oh--Oh, my God.
I'm, uh--

-Where--Wh--
-I'm so sorry.

All right.

What is it, Son?

Mom passed away.

She had acute heart failure.

Oh.

That's terrible.

Dad.

-[ Door Opens ]
-[ Clears Throat ]

-Hey, pops. How's the big case going?
-I think I'm losing.

-And my wife died.
-Oh.

Isn't that awful?

Yes. Uh, it's terrible.

I-I lived for her.
Everything else--

work, business--

nothing really mattered
at the end of the day.

But... now she's dead.

Get a grip.

She was a wonderful,
wonderful woman.

But... now--

-Done.
-All gone.

You never know
when it's your turn.

Oh. [ Chuckles ]
I could be next.

-There you go. [ Chuckles ]
-[ Chuckles ]

Mr. Thompson.

Huh?

Are you--
Are you okay?

Yes.

Unfortunately, I am.

[ Mouths Word ]

-Ally.
-Hmm?

-Got a second?
-Mmm. Mmm!

Um--

Uh, well, um--
I'm--I'm not--I'm not-- I'm not sure.

-You're free.
-Great.

Uh, yeah. Great. Great.
Sure. Just--It's--

Yeah. Go on in.
It's--It's... this way.

I--
[ Mouths Words ]

-What's up?
-I'm getting this very odd feeling.

Well, um, thanks for sharing that
with me, Mark.

[ Chuckles ] That's--But I'm--
I'm gonna take some time.

Just--I'll--I'll, uh--

Well, is it--
is it okay if I...

give you a ring
when I've processed it a little?

Well, I'd like to share with you what
that odd feeling is.

Oh.

Oh. Well, um--

Okay.

I don't really believe that Elaine was
with you two nights ago. Was she?

Uh, two nights ago?

Two nights ago,
two nights ago, two nights ago.

T-Two nights ago?

Um, well, okay.
Well, let's back up.

Let's just cut through it, Ally.

Can we do that?
I consider you and I friends.

Oh, please. Why does everybody think
I'm a friend? I'm not even nice.

All right. All right. Um,

I don't really want to get involved
in Elaine's life,

but two nights ago,

we were together.

We were having dinner
with a-a college friend of mine.

You give me your word,
as a friend?

It's a lie.

I-I was with another man, Mark.

Ally's just covering for me
because I begged her to.

Who's the other man?

It's just an acquaintance.

I-I'm not having an affair.
But I-I did sleep with him.

I'm totally ashamed
that it happened, but it did happen.

I just can't bring myself
to lie about it.

I'm-I'm really sorry.

I know it sounds hollow to say that
it'll never happen again, but it won't.

I apologize to you too.

I don't understand.
I don't even care about money.

Well, your lawyer
seems to think that you do.

-Jackson.
-Uh, Larry.

[ Gilbert ]
Honey, I know you love me,

and I want to share with you
my life and my possessions.

What Jackson here is saying is that if,
for some reason, it isn't meant to be,

that we break up quickly,

or you leave me
for some other man--

-That would never happen.
-Of course not.

But if, for some reason, it did,

knowing what little
I already do about you,

do you really feel an entitlement
to his possessions?

I suppose not.

Larry?

Knowing what little
I know about you, Julie,

you wouldn't want to be
taken advantage of.

Under this prenup, should he leave you
inside five years, or should he...

have an affair after five years,
causing you to want out, you lose all.

Now, I have to ask,

if Gilbert really, truly
believes in this marriage,

why would he ever concoct
such an oppressive prenup?

Bottom line. If you can live up to the
vows that you make on your wedding day,

then this prenup likely
never becomes an issue.

Would you agree
with that, Larry?

I would--if it weren't so untrue, Jackson.
She could live completely up to her vows.

The marriage could fail
because he didn't live up to his,

and she would still get hurt...

under the language
of his document.

Well, let's just play
with this language a bit.

I'm sure we can find
some room to wiggle.

That's what I like about you.
You're always poised to wiggle.

-Do you have a proposal, Larry?
-I do, Jackson.

If it ends within a year

because of any material breach of
fidelity committed by Julie,

or should she just choose to leave without
any breach committed by Gilbert,

she takes one year's alimony
and nothing more.

Should the marriage
go past one year,

normal alimony entitlements
apply under Massachusetts law.

Absolutely unacceptable.
I'm sorry, Gilbert,

but these conditions can only lead me to
believe that she is after your money.

I am not.

I have to say, Julie,
I'm a little thrown...

to see you even
making money an issue.

-Could I have been deceiving myself?
-Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Beautiful woman could love
somebody like me? Big, fat--

Bald.

Can you go someplace
and wiggle?

-If you'll excuse me.
-Yeah.

And-And-And, uh,
where is he now?

He left. He went
for a walk somewhere.

Oh, bugger. Well, you know,
h-how can I help?

Well, I figure you've cheated a lot
in your life.

Uh, I've done my share.

What can I say to him
to make amends?

Well, uh, uh,
you got a pen?

Oh. May I?
[ Clears Throat ]

Shoot.

Okay. Uh, with men,
we-we go right to anthropology.

Nature. Man is conditioned
to spread his seed.

When we sleep around, you know,
we're really doing God's work. Fishism.

You know, I'm not sure
that's true for women though.

Oh. Uh, all right.
Uh, here we go.

Uh, recent studies show that jealousy can
result in an increased sexual passion,

as well as a more intense bond
between partners.

You slept with this other man
to cement your bond with Mark.

It was very simple.
It was actually a sign of, uh, commitment.

L-Let's turn to evolution now.
You--Uh, are you with me?

-Yes.
-Studies also show...

that a man whose partner
has been inseminated by another man...

is at genetic risk with respect to, uh,
propagation.

Jealousy leads to passion,
passion to orgasm.

Orgasm causes women
to retain more sperm.

You shtup this other man because you want
to have Mark's child. Yeah. Off you go.

I-I don't think he'll
go for that, Richard.

I've given you my wisdom,
Elaine.

What you choose to do
with it is your decision. I--

-How long has he been in there?
-An hour maybe.

Was the heart attack
connected to the cancer?

They think so.

Well, I think you should check on him,
see if he's okay.

[ Whistling ]

Oh.

Well, I need my office.

Oh. Hello, Ling.

-Are you okay?
-Y-Yes.

But do you think that we could get
a continuance...

-on this lawsuit?
-Of course.

I'm... gonna go in
for surgery.

-Excuse me?
-4:00.

I'm going to have
the blood clot drained.

Why?

Just want to.
That's all.

Henry. Why?

I loved my wife more than anything else
in the world.

And she's gone,
and I can't cry.

All I feel is like... whistling.

I need to grieve for her.

Okay.

But, Henry, from everything
I've heard about you,

you were very unhappy before.

Yes. I was.

And you really want to go back
to being that miserable?

I want to cry for my wife.

I just don't see
why it has to be today, so fast.

The funeral's on Wednesday,
and I have to be able to cry by then.

But... are you sure,
Henry?

I am, sweetheart.

Thanks for being so concerned.

-All set, Henry?
-Ready when you are.

This is Ling Woo, my attorney.
Dr. Harrod.

-He's going to perform the procedure.
-It's nice to meet you.

Um, how long will it take?

It's very short.
We're just draining a clot.

He'll be up on his feet tonight.

Ready?

Let's roll.

Bye-bye, honey.

-See ya later.
-Yeah.

♪ Oh, there's a rainbow
around my shoulder ♪

♪ And a sky of blue above ♪

[ Humming ]

[ Knocking ]

Can I speak with you
for a minute?

Okay, first,

I'm not here to excuse
my infidelity.

Only to try to explain it.

The reason I even bothered to have dinner
with this man,

I suppose came out of an insecurity
about you and me.

We're hardly the most solid couple.
For the most part, you still judge me.

I suppose I'm a little nervous

about putting all my eggs
in such a leaky basket.

So you fertilize them elsewhere.

Once again, I'm not saying
I had any excuse.

But...

in asking myself why,

I realize that I don't have any
confidence in you and I.

We're biding time
with each other, Mark.

We both know it.

[ Groans Softly ]
You're a great guy.

And what I did the other night
was despicable.

But we should just quit
while we're behind.

The wedding is off? Why?

Because--
she's a gold digger.

Oh, come on.

Gold digger?

You won't marry me
without signing a prenup.

-You won't marry me until I sign one.
-Hold on just a second.

What's up?

Too much of you is up.
That's the problem.

You negotiated this breakup--
you and Larry.

You should be ashamed of yourselves.
These people are in love.

You just brokered this, uh--

If you want to talk about love,
go someplace else.

Could you do that, please?

This is a bathroom.

And if I hear any more about true love
in here, I'm gonna vomit.

Everybody breaks up, okay?

These people are just
ahead of the lousy game.

Why don't you just congratulate them
and set them on their way?

-I gotta go.
-No.

You are going to
stay right here.

And listen to me,
both of you.

Now, I just broke up
with a woman.

I may never meet
another person like her.

And I know things
don't always work out.

But of all the things
to come between you-- lawyers?

Lawyers are in
the business of divorce.

Now, Gilbert,
do you love this woman?

Of course I love her.

[ Groans, Vomits ]

Uh--

Julie, do you love Gilbert?

More than anything.

[ Vomiting ]

Then what in God's name
is going on?

Gilbert, you were lamenting whether you'd
ever find a woman to love you.

You found her. You're gonna walk away
'cause of something he said?

Now, you were looking at your reflection
the other night, calling yourself...

a big, fat fool.

Are you determined to prove it?

I do love you.

And I love you.

-Then--
-[ Vomiting ]

[ Loud Burp ]

Okay. Then what God has joined together,
let no lawyer tear asunder.

-I'm sorry.
-Me too, baby.

Come here.

Should you and I hug?

Yeah.

[ Woman On P.A. Speaking,
Indistinct ]

-Hey.
-Hey.

How's he doing?

Well, the operation
was a success, depending on--

It's kind of...

hitting him now
about my mom.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

You can go in.
He's wide awake.

-[ Machine Beeping ]
-[ Knocks ]

Hello.

Hello.

How are you feeling?

My head hurts a little.

You here to collect your fee?

No.

Well, now is
kind of a lousy time.

I don't really feel like
visitors, thanks.

I'm sorry about Edith.

Yeah, well, she had cancer.
It's no big shock.

Hi.

You feel like
getting up yet?

Do I look like
I feel like getting up?

Well, the sooner you can walk,

the faster you can shake off
that nasty anesthesia.

And the sooner you get me
the hell out of here and fill this bed.

I'll walk when I want to.

Okay.

Is there anything
I can get you?

No, thank you.

I think I'd really
like to be alone now.

Okay?

Sure.

-Night.
-Yeah.

[ Vonda ]
♪ Somewhere out there ♪

♪ Beneath the pale moonlight ♪

♪ Someone's thinking of me ♪

♪ And loving me tonight ♪

♪ Somewhere out there ♪

♪ Someone's saying a prayer ♪

Care to dance with an insignificant,
litigious, little gnat?

-Where have you been?
-Sears. I picked out a new sofa.

Oh, for you to be
sleeping on at night?

Or we could watch TV together.

-You can work the remote.
-[ Scoffs ] Don't be gross.

♪ Out there ♪

-♪ And even though ♪
-Larry.

-♪ I know how very ♪
-Jackson.

♪ Far apart we are ♪

♪ It helps to think
we might be wishing ♪

♪ On the same bright star ♪

♪ And when the night wind
starts to sing ♪

♪ A lonesome lullaby ♪

♪ It helps to think
we're sleeping ♪

♪ Underneath the same big sky ♪

♪ Somewhere out there ♪

♪ If love can see us through ♪

♪ Then we'll be together ♪

♪ Somewhere ♪

♪ Out where dreams ♪

♪ Come true. ♪

[ Woman ]
You stinker!