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Previously on Heels...
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Violence sometimes
suggests a deeper issue
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00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:10,586
going on with a child.
4
00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:12,547
It's a miracle we got
out of that meeting
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00:00:12,722 --> 00:00:14,957
with them agreeing to let
Thomas back in school.
6
00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:17,226
They wanted us to acknowledge
punching as wrong.
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00:00:17,326 --> 00:00:18,661
Punching isn't always wrong.
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00:00:18,761 --> 00:00:19,976
Mr. Jack Spade!
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00:00:21,664 --> 00:00:23,132
I'm sorry to burden
you with this.
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00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:24,766
You're my friend, not a burden.
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00:00:24,767 --> 00:00:26,569
You can stay here
as long as you want.
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00:00:26,669 --> 00:00:29,172
My name is Crystal Tyler.
13
00:00:29,272 --> 00:00:31,040
And I am the baddest...
14
00:00:32,775 --> 00:00:33,676
bitch...
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00:00:35,111 --> 00:00:37,113
the DWL has ever seen.
16
00:00:37,213 --> 00:00:38,414
- Crystal!
- Yeah!
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00:00:38,514 --> 00:00:40,550
Congrats again, superstar.
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00:00:43,519 --> 00:00:45,301
- So why are you here?
- Ace?
19
00:00:45,421 --> 00:00:47,190
Suits from up north
sent me to scout him.
20
00:00:47,290 --> 00:00:49,058
He's not gonna leave
what we're building.
21
00:00:49,158 --> 00:00:50,569
I've been calling
Ace since last night.
22
00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:51,961
He's gone.
23
00:00:52,061 --> 00:00:53,205
I'd like the
restroom key, please.
24
00:00:53,229 --> 00:00:56,032
Got to buy something. I
got Coke, Cherry Coke.
25
00:00:56,132 --> 00:00:57,800
Stick them all up your ass, sir.
26
00:00:57,900 --> 00:00:59,402
Let me buy you a meal, partner.
27
00:00:59,502 --> 00:01:01,382
Go find some other runaway
to make s'mores with.
28
00:01:01,471 --> 00:01:03,439
If you're hiking and
camping Dover Springs,
29
00:01:03,539 --> 00:01:05,150
- I hope you're all geared up.
- I was just gonna wear these.
30
00:01:05,174 --> 00:01:06,351
You're gonna hike
in soccer shoes?
31
00:01:06,375 --> 00:01:08,177
It's pretty rough terrain.
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00:01:10,379 --> 00:01:12,081
Aah!
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00:01:18,167 --> 00:01:23,593
♪ I'm not waiting for ♪
34
00:01:23,693 --> 00:01:27,563
♪ The answer ♪
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00:01:29,232 --> 00:01:32,068
♪ I will ♪
36
00:01:32,168 --> 00:01:34,770
♪ Walk in the shore ♪
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00:01:34,871 --> 00:01:37,440
♪ To find you ♪
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♪ To find ♪
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♪ The peace that's your own ♪
40
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♪ Where you come from ♪
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♪ All that you want ♪
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♪ One that's your own ♪
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00:01:54,891 --> 00:01:57,493
♪ Place to call home ♪
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♪ Won't be ♪
45
00:02:00,563 --> 00:02:03,166
♪ Granted ♪
46
00:02:03,266 --> 00:02:06,936
♪ What is fair in love ♪
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♪ Is fair in war ♪
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♪ What is fair in love ♪
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00:02:18,247 --> 00:02:22,952
♪ Is fair in war ♪
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♪ One ♪
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♪ To one ♪
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00:02:28,324 --> 00:02:31,093
♪ What's love ♪
53
00:02:31,194 --> 00:02:37,033
♪ In war? ♪
54
00:02:49,245 --> 00:02:50,746
Keep stirring, Jack.
55
00:02:50,846 --> 00:02:52,324
Eddie Earl's coming to
dinner to maybe invest
56
00:02:52,348 --> 00:02:53,983
in Daddy's wrestling league.
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00:02:54,083 --> 00:02:56,018
This cake is our way
of saying "please."
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00:02:56,118 --> 00:02:58,821
"Please" sounds
better with cake.
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00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:01,123
I got a good feeling about this.
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00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:02,992
Great.
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00:03:03,092 --> 00:03:05,228
Hope your good feelings
turn into money.
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00:03:09,232 --> 00:03:11,234
You stole a piece of cake.
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00:03:11,334 --> 00:03:13,069
- No, I didn't.
- Don't be sinning
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00:03:13,169 --> 00:03:14,046
twice at once...
Stealing and lying.
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00:03:14,070 --> 00:03:15,438
Move it.
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00:03:15,538 --> 00:03:17,206
You said I could have a piece.
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00:03:17,306 --> 00:03:19,175
After Eddie had
his! Pants down!
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00:03:19,275 --> 00:03:20,443
I'm sorry, Mommy.
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00:03:20,543 --> 00:03:22,678
Too late for
sorry. Pants down!
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00:03:27,850 --> 00:03:30,152
Aah!
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00:03:32,255 --> 00:03:33,623
The hell's going on?
72
00:03:33,723 --> 00:03:35,157
He stole a piece
of cake, then lied!
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00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:37,059
I won't be mother to a liar.
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00:03:37,159 --> 00:03:38,694
Eddie's due any second, Carol!
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00:03:39,362 --> 00:03:40,596
You're unreal.
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00:03:42,732 --> 00:03:44,799
Aah!
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00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,535
You got the sponsorship, Tom!
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00:03:46,636 --> 00:03:48,480
This is gonna be great for
the whole town of Duffy.
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00:03:48,504 --> 00:03:50,104
It's the start of
something great, Eddie.
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00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,611
Eddie Earl's giving
us some money!
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00:03:55,711 --> 00:03:57,446
Daddy is so happy.
82
00:04:00,549 --> 00:04:05,087
Now, Jack, a mommy's job is
to show her son how to behave.
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00:04:05,187 --> 00:04:06,789
"Chasten thy son
while there is hope,
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00:04:06,889 --> 00:04:09,025
and let not thy soul
spare for his crying."
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00:04:09,125 --> 00:04:10,960
Proverbs 19:18.
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00:04:11,060 --> 00:04:14,030
You became a better
person today.
87
00:04:14,130 --> 00:04:16,799
I'll get some cream
for your boo-boos.
88
00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:24,173
Thirty-six hours
of steady rainfall
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00:04:24,273 --> 00:04:26,475
have left many homeless
in the Metro area,
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00:04:26,575 --> 00:04:28,110
knee-deep in flood waters.
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00:04:29,879 --> 00:04:31,147
Put my phone down.
92
00:04:31,247 --> 00:04:32,924
You gonna use the
landline till I find Ace.
93
00:04:32,948 --> 00:04:35,217
Ace don't wanna be found.
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00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:37,586
This is Dad's belt.
95
00:04:37,687 --> 00:04:41,924
And I wear it sometimes to
remind me to not be you.
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00:04:42,024 --> 00:04:46,862
I been thinking a lot
about you, how you behaved.
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00:04:46,962 --> 00:04:48,364
Well, boo-hoo.
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00:04:48,464 --> 00:04:50,366
Now, give me my phone.
99
00:04:50,466 --> 00:04:52,368
Ace needs to be left alone.
100
00:04:52,468 --> 00:04:54,837
You don't know what Ace
needs any more than I do.
101
00:04:54,937 --> 00:04:57,739
Know this though... if me and
Ace end up killing each other,
102
00:04:57,740 --> 00:05:00,042
you will have played
a big part in why.
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00:05:34,076 --> 00:05:34,977
Ohh...
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00:05:35,077 --> 00:05:36,712
Oh... ah!
105
00:05:36,812 --> 00:05:37,947
Ah...
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00:05:46,422 --> 00:05:48,624
Ah... ah! Shit.
107
00:06:06,942 --> 00:06:08,324
Aah...
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00:06:08,444 --> 00:06:11,313
Ohh... fuck!
109
00:06:12,815 --> 00:06:14,283
One more.
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00:06:14,383 --> 00:06:16,085
I can't.
111
00:06:16,185 --> 00:06:18,154
I disagree. Come on.
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00:06:23,492 --> 00:06:25,060
Here we go.
113
00:06:25,161 --> 00:06:28,344
Push. Come on.
114
00:06:28,464 --> 00:06:30,166
- Uhh...
- Yes!
115
00:06:30,266 --> 00:06:32,368
- Nice.
- Okay.
116
00:06:35,504 --> 00:06:37,005
- Look great.
- Yeah. Thanks for
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00:06:37,006 --> 00:06:39,208
pushing me to dig deep.
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00:06:39,308 --> 00:06:42,912
In that case, one more set.
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00:06:43,012 --> 00:06:44,847
I... ha.
120
00:06:50,553 --> 00:06:52,988
You're a good son, Deandre,
buying me this bed.
121
00:06:53,088 --> 00:06:55,458
Too generous.
122
00:06:55,558 --> 00:06:58,093
Oh, look, Pops, now that
I'm the champ at Dystopia,
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00:06:58,194 --> 00:07:00,075
I make this in a day.
124
00:07:00,196 --> 00:07:02,898
Yeah. I worry about you in
that car crash wrestling
125
00:07:02,998 --> 00:07:04,800
they do at Dystopia.
126
00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:07,403
You'd never catch Rocky Johnson
127
00:07:07,503 --> 00:07:10,005
using barbed wire to beat a man.
128
00:07:10,105 --> 00:07:12,741
- Do it with his bare hands.
- Ha ha. Look, Pops.
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00:07:12,842 --> 00:07:14,944
I got this. Look, I'm
gonna go work out.
130
00:07:15,044 --> 00:07:16,721
Now, you text me if you
invite a lady over here
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00:07:16,745 --> 00:07:18,247
to break in your new bed.
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00:07:18,347 --> 00:07:20,249
I'ma need the heads up.
133
00:07:20,349 --> 00:07:22,351
- Okay.
- Okay?
134
00:07:22,451 --> 00:07:24,386
- All right, son.
- All right, now listen.
135
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:27,256
I know how loud you can get.
136
00:07:38,334 --> 00:07:40,135
Let's rip this fart together.
137
00:07:40,236 --> 00:07:41,937
Hell yeah.
138
00:07:43,372 --> 00:07:45,941
The time has finally come.
139
00:07:46,041 --> 00:07:48,644
He's one of the greatest to
ever step between the ropes,
140
00:07:48,744 --> 00:07:52,114
three-time World Champion,
six-time Tag Team Champion,
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00:07:52,214 --> 00:07:55,017
the only man to wrestle
three different species
142
00:07:55,117 --> 00:07:56,318
and defeat two of them.
143
00:07:56,418 --> 00:07:59,021
It's the "Wild Bill
Hancock" podcast!
144
00:07:59,121 --> 00:08:00,756
Diego Cottonmouth here,
145
00:08:00,856 --> 00:08:03,325
your masked menace
luchador, producing.
146
00:08:03,425 --> 00:08:05,060
Bill, you said you
wanted to cover
147
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:06,829
not just wrestling, but life.
148
00:08:06,929 --> 00:08:10,366
You want each episode to be
wide-ranging and estranging.
149
00:08:10,466 --> 00:08:12,334
Diego, my goal is
to use the truth
150
00:08:12,434 --> 00:08:14,369
to offend as many
people as I can.
151
00:08:14,370 --> 00:08:16,972
So, look, lots to discuss,
152
00:08:17,072 --> 00:08:19,375
but your fans got
tons of questions,
153
00:08:19,475 --> 00:08:21,386
and they're gonna fast forward
until they get the answers.
154
00:08:21,410 --> 00:08:23,245
So let's talk DWL first.
155
00:08:23,345 --> 00:08:25,047
Folks have had difficulty
156
00:08:25,147 --> 00:08:27,783
following all the swerves
at the DWL lately...
157
00:08:27,883 --> 00:08:30,619
Uh, Crystal defeating
both you and Jack Spade.
158
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:32,922
Defeat's a dubious conclusion.
159
00:08:33,022 --> 00:08:34,382
Well, she has the
belt. You do not.
160
00:08:34,423 --> 00:08:35,624
Is that not a defeat?
161
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,259
A setback is not a defeat.
162
00:08:37,359 --> 00:08:38,727
Uh-huh.
163
00:08:38,827 --> 00:08:41,764
Now, Crystal, in her
rise to DWL champ,
164
00:08:41,864 --> 00:08:45,067
had stints as Ace Spade
and Bobby Pin's valet.
165
00:08:45,167 --> 00:08:46,635
Correct.
166
00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:49,972
But she re-enlisted as your
valet, Bunny Bombshell.
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00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:52,041
I saved that lassie
from the swamp.
168
00:08:52,141 --> 00:08:54,243
But the moment I was in
need of the very services
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00:08:54,343 --> 00:08:55,945
a valet renders,
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00:08:56,045 --> 00:08:58,047
she forgot everything
I'd done for her.
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00:08:58,147 --> 00:09:01,317
The only reason she can
hang with the big boys
172
00:09:01,417 --> 00:09:03,352
is 'cause I taught Crystal Tyler
173
00:09:03,452 --> 00:09:05,154
everything she knows!
174
00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:07,823
Now she's proving herself
worthy to learn the rest of it
175
00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:09,824
in the opposing
corner of the ring.
176
00:09:09,825 --> 00:09:13,128
I don't care if you're a
man, woman, or alien species.
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00:09:13,228 --> 00:09:15,664
You step through those
ropes and cross The Bill,
178
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,566
you're gonna get the
horns. Life is long.
179
00:09:17,666 --> 00:09:19,034
Yessir.
180
00:09:19,134 --> 00:09:20,579
Tell us what occurred
at the State Fair
181
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:21,770
with Charlie Gully then.
182
00:09:21,870 --> 00:09:23,339
My sense of honor occurred!
183
00:09:23,439 --> 00:09:25,608
Gully crashed our
event. I took umbrage.
184
00:09:25,708 --> 00:09:27,309
Yeah. Y-you claimed
185
00:09:27,409 --> 00:09:30,679
you had a bout of, uh,
involuntary digestive distress.
186
00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,615
I've stated facts.
187
00:09:32,715 --> 00:09:35,184
God created the sphincter
so that shitting, by design,
188
00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:36,819
would be voluntary.
189
00:09:36,919 --> 00:09:38,797
The sphincter's a goddamn
damper for the rectum.
190
00:09:38,821 --> 00:09:41,056
Asses don't leak unless
they're poisoned!
191
00:09:41,156 --> 00:09:42,836
Yet, despite that, you
swallowed your shame
192
00:09:42,925 --> 00:09:44,393
in pursuit of the belt.
193
00:09:44,493 --> 00:09:46,395
I'm a competitor first,
gentleman second.
194
00:09:46,495 --> 00:09:49,745
Charlie Gully attempted to
disrupt an athletic contest.
195
00:09:49,865 --> 00:09:52,167
Once I discovered I had some...
196
00:09:52,267 --> 00:09:55,070
accidental excrement pooled
in the seat of my pants,
197
00:09:55,170 --> 00:09:56,405
I made use of it.
198
00:09:56,505 --> 00:09:58,574
You threw a clothesline.
199
00:09:58,674 --> 00:10:00,609
And then I
shit-stamped his face.
200
00:10:00,709 --> 00:10:02,745
It was as if fate
herself proclaimed,
201
00:10:02,845 --> 00:10:05,294
"Here is a man you'd
like to eat shit
202
00:10:05,414 --> 00:10:07,816
presenting his mouth as
a fortuitous receptacle."
203
00:10:07,916 --> 00:10:09,318
Boom!
204
00:10:09,418 --> 00:10:11,520
Lemons into lemonade, kids.
205
00:10:11,620 --> 00:10:13,188
Whoo!
206
00:10:23,032 --> 00:10:24,275
Hey, I'm gonna grab
some Egg McMuffins.
207
00:10:24,299 --> 00:10:25,401
You want one?
208
00:10:25,501 --> 00:10:26,735
- No.
- How about for Jack?
209
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,971
- Jack's outta town.
- Till when?
210
00:10:29,071 --> 00:10:31,840
We gotta promote the next
show. Did he give you a script?
211
00:10:31,940 --> 00:10:33,709
No. Just said I
was "in charge."
212
00:10:33,809 --> 00:10:35,577
Holy shit! Was he stoned?
213
00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:37,146
Wait, you're in charge?
214
00:10:37,246 --> 00:10:39,548
Yay! Girl power!
215
00:10:39,648 --> 00:10:41,183
I gotta focus.
216
00:10:41,283 --> 00:10:43,152
A McGriddle 'n' sausage?
217
00:10:43,252 --> 00:10:45,154
Go.
218
00:10:55,097 --> 00:10:58,067
Watch that one there.
219
00:11:00,636 --> 00:11:02,538
- Next leg!
- Hey!
220
00:11:02,638 --> 00:11:05,374
Hey!
221
00:11:05,474 --> 00:11:07,576
Shit! You okay?!
222
00:11:07,676 --> 00:11:08,877
Sprained my ankle.
223
00:11:08,977 --> 00:11:11,026
You got another line
you can toss down?
224
00:11:11,146 --> 00:11:12,815
- Janice!
- What?!
225
00:11:12,915 --> 00:11:14,516
There's a guy down here!
226
00:11:14,616 --> 00:11:15,927
Says he might have
broke his ankle.
227
00:11:15,951 --> 00:11:17,853
I'll call in a rescue chopper.
228
00:11:17,953 --> 00:11:20,088
No, no, I said I sprained
it! I-it's just a sprain.
229
00:11:20,089 --> 00:11:22,124
A sprain can be
worse than a break.
230
00:11:22,224 --> 00:11:25,394
Can you just let me try
to climb up, please?
231
00:11:25,494 --> 00:11:27,696
All right, Janice,
no chopper this time.
232
00:11:27,796 --> 00:11:29,531
Just drop down another harness.
233
00:11:29,631 --> 00:11:32,267
Let's help this guy out.
234
00:11:32,367 --> 00:11:34,737
So I was thinking we do
a backstage interview,
235
00:11:34,837 --> 00:11:36,138
a medical update on Wild Bill
236
00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:37,682
after Crystal kicked
him into oblivion.
237
00:11:37,706 --> 00:11:39,074
Bill cuts a promo.
238
00:11:39,174 --> 00:11:41,009
- Shifts the blame to the crowd.
- I love it.
239
00:11:41,110 --> 00:11:43,911
We should make Bobby our
backstage roving reporter.
240
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:46,348
His leg's still
healing but he's so...
241
00:11:46,448 --> 00:11:47,549
Stiff and robotic.
242
00:11:47,649 --> 00:11:48,717
Done.
243
00:11:48,817 --> 00:11:50,919
So Bobby gets Bill's reaction
244
00:11:51,019 --> 00:11:52,299
to all that went down last week.
245
00:11:52,387 --> 00:11:54,523
Crystal won is what went down.
246
00:11:54,623 --> 00:11:56,258
Yes, she did.
247
00:11:56,358 --> 00:11:58,127
So, Bill tells the
crowd how tough you are,
248
00:11:58,227 --> 00:12:00,629
but then he calls
you a piece of shit
249
00:12:00,729 --> 00:12:02,474
so that he can bring it
all back around later,
250
00:12:02,498 --> 00:12:04,538
saying, "All that nice stuff
I said about you before
251
00:12:04,566 --> 00:12:05,610
"is just gonna make
beating your ass
252
00:12:05,634 --> 00:12:06,635
all the more sweet!"
253
00:12:06,735 --> 00:12:08,036
Perfect.
254
00:12:08,137 --> 00:12:09,577
And you don't need
to give me my due.
255
00:12:09,605 --> 00:12:10,706
I took it!
256
00:12:10,806 --> 00:12:12,574
It's going in.
257
00:12:14,743 --> 00:12:16,145
Hey.
258
00:12:16,245 --> 00:12:18,714
Willie, is Ace doing all right?
259
00:12:18,814 --> 00:12:20,225
Right now, Ace is
just a blinking dot
260
00:12:20,249 --> 00:12:21,850
on his mother's phone
somewhere not here.
261
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,153
Could be two towns over,
could be Tallahassee.
262
00:12:24,253 --> 00:12:26,088
The only thing
that Jack suggested
263
00:12:26,188 --> 00:12:28,557
was that we start off with
your championship celebration.
264
00:12:28,657 --> 00:12:30,358
So I'm thinking you
come out on the mic,
265
00:12:30,359 --> 00:12:32,504
you know, "Pound for pound,
I'm the best wrestler there is
266
00:12:32,528 --> 00:12:34,763
"in the DWL, and I'm on top
267
00:12:34,863 --> 00:12:36,899
because you all
believed in me!"
268
00:12:36,999 --> 00:12:38,714
Really make the crowd
feel part of it.
269
00:12:38,834 --> 00:12:40,636
Y'all have taken me this far,
270
00:12:40,736 --> 00:12:43,605
and it's gon' be
one hell of a ride
271
00:12:43,705 --> 00:12:45,306
seeing where we go from here...
272
00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:47,442
- Together.
- Exactly!
273
00:12:47,543 --> 00:12:49,521
You're the antithesis of
Bill, but we don't wanna see
274
00:12:49,545 --> 00:12:51,046
the two of you
mixing it up again
275
00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:53,348
until we string the
story out further.
276
00:12:53,448 --> 00:12:56,351
So instead, we have The Dad
interrupting on the mic,
277
00:12:56,451 --> 00:12:58,220
you know, as a sort
of surrogate for Bill,
278
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,131
complaining about a woman
holding a man's title,
279
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:01,223
blah, blah.
280
00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:02,591
Wait, The Dad?
281
00:13:02,691 --> 00:13:04,760
He's... he's so nice.
282
00:13:04,860 --> 00:13:06,261
- Dad's a douche.
- Oh, really?
283
00:13:06,361 --> 00:13:07,162
I didn't know that.
284
00:13:07,262 --> 00:13:08,997
In the story. Keep up, kid.
285
00:13:09,097 --> 00:13:11,767
I'm sorry. You said
it so emphatically.
286
00:13:11,867 --> 00:13:13,077
I've got no idea what
he's like in real life.
287
00:13:13,101 --> 00:13:15,102
I should probably find out
if he's even a real dad.
288
00:13:15,103 --> 00:13:16,772
Ha. Okay.
289
00:13:16,872 --> 00:13:19,908
Maybe The Dad says
some shit like,
290
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:23,612
"You're welcome to become 'The
Stepmom' and do my laundry."
291
00:13:23,712 --> 00:13:24,880
Shit, now I hate The Dad.
292
00:13:24,980 --> 00:13:26,481
Now I wanna see
you beat his ass.
293
00:13:26,582 --> 00:13:28,817
Well, why not just whoop his
ass right then and there?
294
00:13:28,917 --> 00:13:31,620
- Why wait?
- Roses for Crystal,
295
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,689
the new champ, left outside.
296
00:13:33,789 --> 00:13:35,290
"Secret Admirer."
297
00:13:35,390 --> 00:13:37,626
What?
298
00:13:37,726 --> 00:13:40,729
These are the first
flowers for me ever.
299
00:13:40,829 --> 00:13:42,764
Just know that Secret Admirer
300
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,867
might also be a
secret serial killer.
301
00:13:46,802 --> 00:13:48,637
Oh, uh, Jack left
Willie in charge.
302
00:13:48,737 --> 00:13:50,606
I know. So great, right?
303
00:13:50,706 --> 00:13:52,087
Girl power!
304
00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:53,218
- Girl power!
- Please stop saying that.
305
00:13:53,242 --> 00:13:54,943
Girl power!
306
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,793
Hear there's a new
El Jefe in the house!
307
00:13:57,893 --> 00:14:00,649
Hey! La Jefa! Wilheminia!
308
00:14:00,749 --> 00:14:02,784
Great. Jack's just
taking some days off.
309
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:05,787
Bill, did you just
call Willie a heifer?
310
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:08,156
La Jefa is The Boss
in Spanish, Debbie.
311
00:14:08,257 --> 00:14:09,617
Crystal, you gotta
check the 'Gram.
312
00:14:09,658 --> 00:14:11,540
You're getting
marriage proposals.
313
00:14:11,660 --> 00:14:13,728
Roses too. Secret admirers.
314
00:14:13,729 --> 00:14:15,197
Okay. Here's what
I'm thinking...
315
00:14:15,297 --> 00:14:17,666
Will, two secs.
Gotta send a text.
316
00:14:17,766 --> 00:14:19,268
I don't care, Paula,
317
00:14:19,368 --> 00:14:22,271
whether it's cash,
comma, Bitcoin, comma,
318
00:14:22,371 --> 00:14:24,439
or doubloons,
comma... Get me paid.
319
00:14:24,539 --> 00:14:25,741
And send.
320
00:14:25,841 --> 00:14:27,910
Thank you. Carry on.
321
00:14:28,010 --> 00:14:30,279
Okay. So we're gonna kick
it off with a celebration
322
00:14:30,379 --> 00:14:32,281
of Crystal's championship...
- Willie, sorry.
323
00:14:32,381 --> 00:14:33,682
What is a doubloon?
324
00:14:33,782 --> 00:14:35,217
Ancient Spanish currency.
325
00:14:35,317 --> 00:14:37,397
How ancient, like back when
they bankrolled Columbus?
326
00:14:37,486 --> 00:14:38,921
Guys.
327
00:14:39,021 --> 00:14:40,131
Columbus was a
genocidal assassin
328
00:14:40,155 --> 00:14:41,756
hired by racist Spaniards.
329
00:14:41,757 --> 00:14:43,058
They're called Conquistadors,
330
00:14:43,158 --> 00:14:44,693
and they learned
that from the Romans.
331
00:14:44,793 --> 00:14:46,194
So, Bill's backstage.
332
00:14:46,295 --> 00:14:48,239
- Bobby, now you're a reporter.
- Cool. Yeah, use me
333
00:14:48,263 --> 00:14:49,765
- how you need me.
- Ooh, Bobby's
334
00:14:49,865 --> 00:14:52,000
a "free use" guy, folks!
335
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,602
Hey, hey! Got a surprise.
336
00:14:53,702 --> 00:14:55,170
Follow me!
337
00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:56,738
If it's his dick
in a hotdog bun,
338
00:14:56,838 --> 00:14:58,273
I'm grabbing and not letting go.
339
00:15:07,582 --> 00:15:09,284
- Dad!
- Hey, there's my buddy!
340
00:15:09,384 --> 00:15:10,319
How you doing?
341
00:15:10,419 --> 00:15:11,386
Where'd you go, Dad?
342
00:15:11,486 --> 00:15:13,455
I...
343
00:15:13,555 --> 00:15:15,123
I-I just been at home.
344
00:15:15,223 --> 00:15:17,826
I miss you. Can
you come get me?
345
00:15:17,926 --> 00:15:19,795
Y-yessir. Yessir.
346
00:15:19,895 --> 00:15:21,663
I just gotta do a
little something first.
347
00:15:21,763 --> 00:15:23,231
Won't be long though.
348
00:15:23,332 --> 00:15:25,076
Could you put your mother
on the phone for a second?
349
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:26,401
She's on a run.
350
00:15:26,501 --> 00:15:29,671
Dad, when can I
come back to school?
351
00:15:29,771 --> 00:15:32,921
We-we met with the school.
You're no longer suspended.
352
00:15:33,041 --> 00:15:34,643
Mommy said they
hadn't decided yet.
353
00:15:38,246 --> 00:15:40,782
I will call your Mom to
clarify... we'll-we'll fix it.
354
00:15:40,882 --> 00:15:41,850
Okay, Dad. Thanks.
355
00:15:41,950 --> 00:15:43,352
I love you.
356
00:15:43,452 --> 00:15:45,287
Love you too, buddy.
You stay positive.
357
00:15:53,095 --> 00:15:54,696
- Whoa!
- Whoo!
358
00:15:58,533 --> 00:16:01,503
Yeah, look at that,
dude. That looks awesome.
359
00:16:01,603 --> 00:16:03,672
Surprise!
360
00:16:03,772 --> 00:16:05,706
- I kept the secret.
- You did!
361
00:16:05,707 --> 00:16:06,784
Man, imagine "Call
of Duty" on this.
362
00:16:06,808 --> 00:16:08,843
No, no, no. "Mario Kart."
363
00:16:08,844 --> 00:16:10,521
- I call Toad.
- Oh, I call Diddy Kong, so...
364
00:16:10,545 --> 00:16:12,661
Diddy Kong hasn't been in
"Mario Kart" since the Wii.
365
00:16:12,781 --> 00:16:13,782
Yeah, did not know that.
366
00:16:13,882 --> 00:16:15,183
Too generous, Eddie.
367
00:16:15,283 --> 00:16:17,184
Hell yeah. You can
watch vignettes,
368
00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:19,253
backstage stuff, interviews.
369
00:16:19,254 --> 00:16:21,857
Totally. Okay, okay.
Back to work, folks!
370
00:16:21,957 --> 00:16:23,157
We can also have movie nights.
371
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:24,559
Oh, show 'em the
features, honey.
372
00:16:24,659 --> 00:16:26,928
No. Why don't we set that
tutorial up for later?
373
00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:28,206
Oh, no, no. You're
gonna love this.
374
00:16:28,230 --> 00:16:30,145
You're gonna wanna
see what this can do.
375
00:16:30,265 --> 00:16:32,110
We gotta over what the plan
is. Everyone please shut up!
376
00:16:32,134 --> 00:16:34,036
Sorry, Annie, it's just...
377
00:16:34,136 --> 00:16:35,350
We should have called first.
378
00:16:35,470 --> 00:16:36,972
I am so sorry.
379
00:16:37,072 --> 00:16:39,074
Jack left Willie in charge.
380
00:16:39,174 --> 00:16:41,410
Oh, well, isn't
that just wonderful?
381
00:16:41,510 --> 00:16:43,010
Everything is great.
382
00:16:43,011 --> 00:16:44,211
Just, you know, as usual,
there's a lot to do.
383
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:46,092
So thank you for this.
We'll put it to good use.
384
00:16:46,148 --> 00:16:47,649
We're so grateful.
385
00:16:47,749 --> 00:16:49,051
Everyone, start warming up.
386
00:16:49,151 --> 00:16:52,653
Bill, may I speak to you
privately for a minute?
387
00:16:52,654 --> 00:16:54,222
Jack is gone. Ace is gone.
388
00:16:54,322 --> 00:16:56,038
I need you to be ring
general out there,
389
00:16:56,158 --> 00:16:58,069
not number one Jackass on
the Jackass Most Wanted List.
390
00:16:58,093 --> 00:16:59,428
Help me keep the group focused.
391
00:16:59,528 --> 00:17:01,029
Coach 'em up. Keep
'em disciplined.
392
00:17:01,129 --> 00:17:03,031
- Got it?
- Aye, aye, Kommandant.
393
00:17:03,131 --> 00:17:05,300
Give a jangle if you
need a sounding board.
394
00:17:07,969 --> 00:17:09,404
Okay.
395
00:17:09,504 --> 00:17:12,574
Good and generous, Earl family.
396
00:17:12,674 --> 00:17:14,242
You must excuse us.
397
00:17:14,342 --> 00:17:16,111
We gotta whip this
unit into a shape
398
00:17:16,211 --> 00:17:18,413
worthy enough to be
on your big screen TV.
399
00:17:19,281 --> 00:17:20,324
Uh, it-it's actually
a video wall.
400
00:17:20,348 --> 00:17:22,317
Jim, it appears
your life philosophy
401
00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:24,052
is to wait till
someone says something,
402
00:17:24,152 --> 00:17:25,821
then make them feel
stupid for saying it.
403
00:17:28,857 --> 00:17:30,425
I'm just trying
to tell the truth,
404
00:17:30,525 --> 00:17:32,260
even if it offends
someone, Bill!
405
00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:34,763
Ooh, my bro listened
to our podcast.
406
00:17:34,863 --> 00:17:36,464
All right, well, we'll let
y'all get to work, kids.
407
00:17:36,465 --> 00:17:38,667
Okay. How about a
round of applause...
408
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:41,103
- Yes.
- For Eddie and Annie.
409
00:17:41,203 --> 00:17:43,405
Whoo!
410
00:17:43,505 --> 00:17:47,209
Okay, Crystal, and
Jim the Giant Jesuit,
411
00:17:47,309 --> 00:17:48,510
you're up first.
Into the ring.
412
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:51,713
How much did that cost?
I won't tell anybody.
413
00:17:51,813 --> 00:17:54,429
Bro, 46 people including Big Jim
414
00:17:54,549 --> 00:17:55,884
have already
streamed the podcast!
415
00:17:55,984 --> 00:17:57,552
That's so cool,
man. You deserve it.
416
00:17:57,652 --> 00:17:59,654
Thanks, man. Yeah,
I'm telling you, man,
417
00:17:59,754 --> 00:18:01,754
they gotta start listening
to my ideas around here.
418
00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:03,835
I'm gonna get some graphics
templates for this video wall
419
00:18:03,859 --> 00:18:05,293
up our game.
420
00:18:05,393 --> 00:18:07,433
I can help bring this place
to whole new level, bro.
421
00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:08,997
I- I hope they
listen to you, man.
422
00:18:09,097 --> 00:18:11,833
- Your genius is untapped.
- Ha ha ha. Yes, it is.
423
00:18:11,933 --> 00:18:14,970
Oh!
424
00:18:15,070 --> 00:18:16,871
Don't worry. You
got two of 'em.
425
00:18:16,872 --> 00:18:19,074
D, hey, uh...
426
00:18:19,174 --> 00:18:21,375
when Crystal kissed
me at the fair...
427
00:18:21,376 --> 00:18:23,011
- Mm-hmm.
- What do you think
428
00:18:23,111 --> 00:18:24,713
- that meant?
- Didn't see it.
429
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:26,781
- She tongue you?
- No.
430
00:18:26,882 --> 00:18:28,617
Did she suck on your lip?
431
00:18:28,717 --> 00:18:30,528
Like, you know, kinda
clamping down for a second,
432
00:18:30,552 --> 00:18:33,188
then pulling back and making
a very faint popping sound?
433
00:18:33,288 --> 00:18:35,357
- No.
- Did she lean onto your thigh
434
00:18:35,457 --> 00:18:36,992
and kinda, you
know, linger there,
435
00:18:37,092 --> 00:18:38,960
perching her entire
bodyweight onto you,
436
00:18:39,060 --> 00:18:41,596
centering it with her crotch?
437
00:18:41,696 --> 00:18:45,033
No, it did not happen in the
way that you just described.
438
00:18:45,133 --> 00:18:46,748
Based on all that, no clue.
439
00:18:46,868 --> 00:18:48,937
Ask her what the kiss meant.
440
00:18:49,037 --> 00:18:51,249
How in the heck am I supposed
to ask a question like that?
441
00:18:51,273 --> 00:18:52,917
Well, you just asked me
a question like that.
442
00:18:52,941 --> 00:18:54,576
Ask her the same question.
443
00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:57,445
Bro, she's getting marriage
proposals and flowers
444
00:18:57,546 --> 00:19:00,415
and she's hot as shit
and also very, very cool.
445
00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:02,551
- Mm-hmm.
- It's a miracle she's single.
446
00:19:02,651 --> 00:19:03,884
Make your move.
447
00:19:03,885 --> 00:19:05,500
Her lips have at
least touched yours.
448
00:19:05,620 --> 00:19:07,289
It was a kiss on
the lips, right?
449
00:19:07,389 --> 00:19:08,499
Don't be fucking
telling me it was
450
00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,090
on the forehead
or on your cheek.
451
00:19:10,091 --> 00:19:11,169
Oh, no, no, no.
Lips were involved.
452
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:12,561
Hers and mine.
453
00:19:12,661 --> 00:19:15,262
Ha ha ha. Make your
intentions known.
454
00:19:15,263 --> 00:19:18,400
If you whiff, on to the next.
455
00:19:20,902 --> 00:19:22,837
- Uhh!
- Good. Knee.
456
00:19:28,243 --> 00:19:30,278
Great. Here we go.
457
00:19:31,913 --> 00:19:33,215
- Whoo!
- Oh!
458
00:19:33,315 --> 00:19:36,117
Yeah!
459
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:38,286
That is how we do it.
460
00:19:39,754 --> 00:19:41,203
Wow.
461
00:19:54,336 --> 00:19:56,238
Your Volvo needs an alignment.
462
00:19:58,306 --> 00:19:59,650
I still can't
believe you survived.
463
00:19:59,674 --> 00:20:01,875
I know how to fall.
464
00:20:01,876 --> 00:20:03,878
I was a wrestler.
465
00:20:03,979 --> 00:20:06,348
Professional wrestler.
466
00:20:07,515 --> 00:20:09,117
Ice every 15 minutes.
467
00:20:09,217 --> 00:20:11,319
And next hike, leave
the soccer shoes behind.
468
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:12,754
Just get yourself some Merrells.
469
00:20:12,854 --> 00:20:14,489
They got 52 million styles.
470
00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:16,758
But don't get cute
and buy their clogs.
471
00:20:16,858 --> 00:20:20,095
Clogs are only good
for getting the mail.
472
00:20:20,195 --> 00:20:21,896
Hey.
473
00:20:21,997 --> 00:20:24,279
Stay a little longer.
474
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:28,136
We can get high. Fool around.
475
00:20:28,236 --> 00:20:30,038
All of us.
476
00:20:30,138 --> 00:20:31,740
He must be concussed.
477
00:20:33,675 --> 00:20:35,419
I thought y'all were being nice
'cause you wanted to hook up.
478
00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:37,479
Come on, buddy! Read the room!
479
00:20:37,579 --> 00:20:39,647
Pal, if you interpret being
nice as an invitation to fuck,
480
00:20:39,648 --> 00:20:41,950
you don't know what
being nice looks like.
481
00:20:44,386 --> 00:20:46,755
I misinterpreted the situation.
482
00:20:46,855 --> 00:20:48,156
Yes, you did.
483
00:20:48,256 --> 00:20:50,825
Damn. Be better.
484
00:20:55,997 --> 00:20:57,699
Charlie Gully
attempted to disrupt
485
00:20:57,799 --> 00:20:59,434
an athletic contest.
486
00:20:59,534 --> 00:21:02,637
Once I discovered I had
some... accidental excrement
487
00:21:02,737 --> 00:21:06,274
pooled in the seat of my
pants, I made use of it.
488
00:21:06,374 --> 00:21:08,209
You threw a clothesline.
489
00:21:08,310 --> 00:21:09,744
And then I
shit-stamped his face.
490
00:21:09,844 --> 00:21:11,780
It was as if fate her...
491
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,148
One second, Pop.
492
00:21:19,154 --> 00:21:21,222
Hey, it's Charlie.
Leave a message.
493
00:21:21,323 --> 00:21:22,357
Gully, it's Rooster.
494
00:21:22,457 --> 00:21:24,359
We need to meet up.
495
00:21:24,459 --> 00:21:27,329
Someone is talking
shit about you.
496
00:22:05,166 --> 00:22:06,800
Fuck!
497
00:22:06,801 --> 00:22:07,969
Aah!
498
00:22:08,069 --> 00:22:10,472
Gah... ohh! Ow!
499
00:22:10,572 --> 00:22:14,376
Ah! Ah!
500
00:22:17,779 --> 00:22:21,049
Anytime you want to switch
beds, Love, just let me know.
501
00:22:21,149 --> 00:22:23,685
I like the air kind.
502
00:22:23,785 --> 00:22:24,862
Dad called while
you were running.
503
00:22:24,886 --> 00:22:27,222
He said I can go back to school.
504
00:22:27,322 --> 00:22:28,756
Oh.
505
00:22:28,757 --> 00:22:30,759
Maybe the school
finished their paperwork.
506
00:22:30,859 --> 00:22:32,527
He said he was
home all this time.
507
00:22:32,627 --> 00:22:34,596
You said he was on a trip.
508
00:22:34,696 --> 00:22:36,498
Well, he must have
come back early.
509
00:22:38,299 --> 00:22:39,934
Are you and Dad
getting divorced?
510
00:22:42,237 --> 00:22:43,304
I want to be home.
511
00:22:43,405 --> 00:22:44,906
It's okay, love.
512
00:22:45,006 --> 00:22:46,307
It's not.
513
00:22:46,408 --> 00:22:48,676
You said he was on
a trip. You lied.
514
00:22:48,777 --> 00:22:50,697
You're not a good mommy
to keep me away from him.
515
00:22:50,812 --> 00:22:52,080
Hey.
516
00:22:52,180 --> 00:22:54,616
Mister, sit yourself
up right now.
517
00:22:54,716 --> 00:22:56,551
You will not say that to Mommy!
518
00:22:56,651 --> 00:22:58,620
You have no idea what
it is to be a mommy!
519
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,489
You can't just say those words
and not have them hurt me.
520
00:23:01,589 --> 00:23:03,334
And you can't say them
thinking they will hurt me
521
00:23:03,358 --> 00:23:04,402
and expect me to just
sit here and take it.
522
00:23:04,426 --> 00:23:05,794
You understand?
523
00:23:05,894 --> 00:23:07,128
I'm sorry, Mommy.
524
00:23:07,228 --> 00:23:09,030
I don't wanna be
mean. I'm just sad.
525
00:23:09,130 --> 00:23:10,532
I miss Daddy.
526
00:23:10,632 --> 00:23:12,834
I miss him so much.
527
00:23:24,279 --> 00:23:25,313
Hey, y'all.
528
00:23:25,413 --> 00:23:27,896
Everything okay?
529
00:23:50,605 --> 00:23:52,373
You did a good job
with this script.
530
00:23:52,474 --> 00:23:53,575
It's all over the place.
531
00:23:53,675 --> 00:23:54,709
It's real good.
532
00:23:54,809 --> 00:23:56,811
Can't be great in
the first draft.
533
00:23:56,911 --> 00:23:59,180
Jack left you in charge
'cause he trusts you won't
534
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:00,882
completely fuck it
up like I might.
535
00:24:00,982 --> 00:24:02,626
Don't shit on it or
I'll have to tackle you.
536
00:24:02,650 --> 00:24:04,853
That'd be a bad thing?
537
00:24:05,753 --> 00:24:07,021
Uh no, I gotta focus.
538
00:24:07,121 --> 00:24:09,224
So The Dad ragdolls
Crystal through the table.
539
00:24:09,324 --> 00:24:10,558
She'll sell it well. Like it.
540
00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:11,993
We just can't book some bullshit
541
00:24:12,093 --> 00:24:13,471
where she gets to
glow-up without getting
542
00:24:13,495 --> 00:24:14,729
her ass kicked sometimes.
543
00:24:14,829 --> 00:24:16,149
Jack and I thought
the same thing.
544
00:24:16,231 --> 00:24:17,398
Keep her down on the farm
545
00:24:17,499 --> 00:24:18,742
so she's got
adversity to overcome.
546
00:24:18,766 --> 00:24:20,502
That's what they're
paying to see.
547
00:24:20,602 --> 00:24:22,379
Narrative wise, when women
conquer a man's world,
548
00:24:22,403 --> 00:24:23,671
men don't exactly roll over.
549
00:24:23,771 --> 00:24:25,540
No, they go back hard.
550
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,076
But that's what she wanted,
right, to win the belt?
551
00:24:28,176 --> 00:24:31,312
Man had the belt, so to win
the belt she had to fight men.
552
00:24:31,412 --> 00:24:32,652
Whether she deserves it or not,
553
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:33,724
she's gotta get her face
pushed in a few times.
554
00:24:33,748 --> 00:24:35,708
What do you mean "whether
she deserves it or not"?
555
00:24:35,783 --> 00:24:37,661
Can't say she deserves to
get her face pushed in.
556
00:24:37,685 --> 00:24:39,387
If you get in a boxing ring,
557
00:24:39,487 --> 00:24:41,856
do you deserve or not
deserve to get punched?
558
00:24:41,956 --> 00:24:43,725
Are we saying
Crystal was unaware
559
00:24:43,825 --> 00:24:46,361
of the pitfalls of her pursuits?
560
00:24:46,461 --> 00:24:47,929
Okay.
561
00:24:48,029 --> 00:24:49,240
So The Dad ragdolls
Crystal through the table.
562
00:24:49,264 --> 00:24:50,899
She's out cold. It's brutal.
563
00:24:50,999 --> 00:24:52,500
But then she stirs.
564
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:53,644
She needs to sell the
pain to the crowd.
565
00:24:53,668 --> 00:24:55,503
Hit all the "-izes."
566
00:24:55,603 --> 00:24:58,840
Let them empathize and realize
and Crystalize her pain.
567
00:24:58,940 --> 00:24:59,874
Okay.
568
00:25:02,010 --> 00:25:04,245
Hey. I'm working
on the next card.
569
00:25:04,345 --> 00:25:05,813
Wow, you're working late, huh?
570
00:25:05,914 --> 00:25:07,782
How long you think you'll be?
571
00:25:07,882 --> 00:25:09,384
I don't know. Jack
left me in charge.
572
00:25:09,484 --> 00:25:10,294
I gotta figure it
all out... The card,
573
00:25:10,318 --> 00:25:11,419
the stories, all of it.
574
00:25:11,519 --> 00:25:12,696
Jack's letting you
book matches now?
575
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,056
Believe me, I know.
576
00:25:15,156 --> 00:25:17,225
Well, Robin needs
help writing an essay.
577
00:25:17,325 --> 00:25:18,760
I guess you're the helper.
578
00:25:18,860 --> 00:25:20,762
Ted, if it makes
you feel better,
579
00:25:20,862 --> 00:25:22,573
Willie's cooking up probably
one of the best shows
580
00:25:22,597 --> 00:25:23,798
we've ever done.
581
00:25:23,898 --> 00:25:25,366
Hello, Bill.
582
00:25:25,466 --> 00:25:27,435
She's working us all
into overtime, Tedly.
583
00:25:27,535 --> 00:25:30,438
But when the material's
good, you don't mind.
584
00:25:30,538 --> 00:25:32,040
Uh-huh.
585
00:25:32,140 --> 00:25:34,609
Well, I'll let you two go.
586
00:25:41,115 --> 00:25:43,217
"But then she stirs..."
587
00:25:53,294 --> 00:25:55,630
Come home, please.
588
00:25:55,730 --> 00:25:58,433
How the fuck you find me?
589
00:25:58,533 --> 00:26:01,469
"Find my Phone"
app on Mom's phone.
590
00:26:01,569 --> 00:26:03,171
Mom's tracking me?
591
00:26:03,271 --> 00:26:05,640
You share locations.
592
00:26:07,642 --> 00:26:09,510
You're still in the family plan.
593
00:26:09,611 --> 00:26:11,746
When I die and go to hell,
first thing I'm gonna do
594
00:26:11,846 --> 00:26:14,648
is find Steve Jobs and
beat the fuck outta him.
595
00:26:14,649 --> 00:26:16,150
I hope that's not true.
596
00:26:16,250 --> 00:26:18,052
For you or Steve Jobs.
597
00:26:18,152 --> 00:26:21,756
Unless he was... unless he was
mean to his cats or something.
598
00:26:28,162 --> 00:26:29,697
You look kinda banged up.
599
00:26:29,797 --> 00:26:32,634
You're looking
kinda "fuck you."
600
00:26:34,068 --> 00:26:35,603
Never again.
601
00:26:38,973 --> 00:26:40,408
Just opted out of
Family Sharing.
602
00:26:40,508 --> 00:26:42,076
Now fuck off.
603
00:26:43,111 --> 00:26:46,561
I was hoping that I was gonna
have you at "come home."
604
00:26:46,681 --> 00:26:48,883
Fuck off's just the tip
of the icicle-dick, Jack.
605
00:26:48,983 --> 00:26:51,619
Fuck you with a
massive icicle-dick.
606
00:26:55,757 --> 00:26:57,434
- You should call housekeeping.
- You should fuck off.
607
00:26:57,458 --> 00:26:59,727
With an icicle-dick.
I heard you.
608
00:27:02,864 --> 00:27:04,999
Was the room this trashed
when you checked in?
609
00:27:05,099 --> 00:27:06,768
Nope. Had a bash.
610
00:27:06,868 --> 00:27:08,646
Been meeting some great
people across the U.S. of A.!
611
00:27:08,670 --> 00:27:10,138
Cool.
612
00:27:13,975 --> 00:27:16,277
I got some cash on hand
from our last gate receipts.
613
00:27:16,377 --> 00:27:18,913
Figured that if you're gonna be
gone for good, you'd need it.
614
00:27:19,013 --> 00:27:21,516
Stealing from the
DWL bank now, huh?
615
00:27:21,616 --> 00:27:23,017
It's hard to steal
from what's ours.
616
00:27:23,117 --> 00:27:25,620
Don't say ours. You made
me think it was ours.
617
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:28,222
It's yours. Dad
bequeathed the DWL to you.
618
00:27:28,322 --> 00:27:30,525
- Because he wanted me cursed.
- Well, cursed my ass.
619
00:27:30,625 --> 00:27:32,036
I seen the buzz
building with Crystal.
620
00:27:32,060 --> 00:27:33,861
Without me.
621
00:27:33,961 --> 00:27:35,830
DWL's taking off like
you always dreamt.
622
00:27:35,930 --> 00:27:37,650
Yet my brother's in a
Mississippi motel room
623
00:27:37,699 --> 00:27:39,367
and my wife's near left me.
624
00:27:39,467 --> 00:27:41,002
Maybe you should
ask yourself why.
625
00:27:41,102 --> 00:27:42,379
What the fuck do you
think led me here!
626
00:27:42,403 --> 00:27:44,639
Mom's phone.
627
00:27:46,841 --> 00:27:49,711
I'm here, hat in hand,
628
00:27:49,811 --> 00:27:51,345
because I have been
thinking about it.
629
00:27:51,446 --> 00:27:52,613
About how to get sympathy.
630
00:27:52,714 --> 00:27:54,482
About my brother.
631
00:27:54,582 --> 00:27:56,317
About how my actions
632
00:27:56,417 --> 00:27:58,219
have affected you
633
00:27:58,319 --> 00:27:59,921
and Staci and Thomas.
634
00:28:00,021 --> 00:28:02,823
"Dear old brother Ace," blah.
635
00:28:02,824 --> 00:28:07,228
"Wife and son," blah.
636
00:28:07,328 --> 00:28:09,697
Heard it all before, Jack!
637
00:28:09,797 --> 00:28:11,075
This is not going
how I expected.
638
00:28:11,099 --> 00:28:12,767
'Cause you're not scripting it.
639
00:28:12,867 --> 00:28:14,402
I'm not just gonna say
640
00:28:14,502 --> 00:28:15,546
- what you want me to.
- I kno...
641
00:28:15,570 --> 00:28:16,704
I know all that.
642
00:28:16,804 --> 00:28:19,907
I need to say something,
643
00:28:20,007 --> 00:28:22,310
and then I will leave.
644
00:28:26,047 --> 00:28:27,281
May I sit?
645
00:28:40,595 --> 00:28:43,698
When Bill came to you...
646
00:28:43,798 --> 00:28:45,700
with that big-time
contract offer,
647
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:47,068
I was stunned.
648
00:28:47,168 --> 00:28:48,770
I wasn't.
649
00:28:50,738 --> 00:28:53,875
Not because I don't
realize how great you are,
650
00:28:53,975 --> 00:28:57,812
but because I'd come to rely
on your talent, your persona.
651
00:28:59,580 --> 00:29:01,315
It was dynamic.
652
00:29:01,415 --> 00:29:03,885
DWL was working.
653
00:29:03,985 --> 00:29:05,686
And I could see our
shared future together.
654
00:29:05,787 --> 00:29:08,089
And then Bill showed up...
655
00:29:08,189 --> 00:29:10,725
with a golden
ticket just for you.
656
00:29:12,927 --> 00:29:15,463
I was not prepared for that.
657
00:29:17,398 --> 00:29:19,580
You were gonna take
your talents elsewhere.
658
00:29:19,700 --> 00:29:22,837
Just like LeBron, motherfucker.
659
00:29:25,106 --> 00:29:27,408
When that happened,
that... that threw me.
660
00:29:29,744 --> 00:29:32,313
I guess it kinda...
661
00:29:32,413 --> 00:29:36,918
I-I... I don't guess.
662
00:29:37,018 --> 00:29:41,189
It knocked me down,
and I was gutted.
663
00:29:44,358 --> 00:29:47,395
Then I was embarrassed
that, uh...
664
00:29:47,495 --> 00:29:50,832
that I wasn't offering up
congratulations to you.
665
00:29:54,468 --> 00:29:57,705
And whether that was
desperation or envy...
666
00:29:57,805 --> 00:30:00,774
- Both.
- What I am sure of is that I...
667
00:30:00,775 --> 00:30:03,077
Humiliated me.
668
00:30:07,014 --> 00:30:09,951
I used what I knew
as your brother,
669
00:30:10,051 --> 00:30:14,755
things only a
brother would know...
670
00:30:14,856 --> 00:30:17,757
to push your buttons.
671
00:30:17,758 --> 00:30:20,194
That, you did.
672
00:30:21,195 --> 00:30:25,199
Then instead of owning up to
that, like a decent person...
673
00:30:29,070 --> 00:30:31,472
I told myself it was
for your own good.
674
00:30:36,344 --> 00:30:39,113
Dad killing himself
fucked me up.
675
00:30:41,883 --> 00:30:44,085
More than I care to admit.
676
00:30:46,621 --> 00:30:48,389
More than I thought.
677
00:30:53,895 --> 00:30:57,398
I loved him so much.
678
00:30:57,498 --> 00:31:01,269
I hated him so much.
679
00:31:01,369 --> 00:31:04,605
And I glossed over all that
'cause I couldn't change it.
680
00:31:07,755 --> 00:31:09,944
The love, the hate.
681
00:31:10,044 --> 00:31:12,246
The way he was,
the way he wasn't.
682
00:31:14,782 --> 00:31:16,984
The way he went out.
683
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:24,191
You and me are trying to
survive after finding out
684
00:31:24,292 --> 00:31:26,594
that Spade men aren't
supposed to survive.
685
00:31:29,864 --> 00:31:32,166
We're supposed to come home
686
00:31:32,266 --> 00:31:35,736
and blow our heads
off on the back porch
687
00:31:35,836 --> 00:31:38,406
and let our sons clean us up.
688
00:31:38,506 --> 00:31:41,242
My God.
689
00:31:43,511 --> 00:31:45,793
That's... terrible.
690
00:31:45,913 --> 00:31:48,182
Jack, that's...
691
00:31:49,383 --> 00:31:52,153
I am truly sorry
692
00:31:52,253 --> 00:31:54,455
for the way that
I've treated you.
693
00:32:01,028 --> 00:32:03,197
Please come home.
694
00:32:06,534 --> 00:32:09,303
Give me a chance to be
a great brother to you.
695
00:32:14,709 --> 00:32:16,844
You were never a
bad big brother.
696
00:32:16,944 --> 00:32:18,612
Only lately.
697
00:32:21,649 --> 00:32:24,652
I'm not a good guy who deserves
a great brother anyway.
698
00:32:24,752 --> 00:32:26,887
I'm a shit heap all on my own.
699
00:32:26,988 --> 00:32:29,323
No, you're not.
700
00:32:29,423 --> 00:32:31,058
Then you don't
know me very well.
701
00:32:31,158 --> 00:32:33,594
I know the heart of you.
702
00:32:36,030 --> 00:32:40,634
Good uncle, teammate, friend.
703
00:32:40,735 --> 00:32:43,904
Jack, I'm not a good guy.
704
00:32:44,005 --> 00:32:46,007
Farthest thing from it.
705
00:32:46,107 --> 00:32:49,143
These people loved you
before I turned you Heel.
706
00:32:51,145 --> 00:32:53,381
Let me help make it right.
707
00:32:57,118 --> 00:33:00,121
Jack, you know what I
realized on this trip?
708
00:33:02,903 --> 00:33:06,627
After several disturbing
709
00:33:06,727 --> 00:33:08,309
interactions...
710
00:33:13,434 --> 00:33:15,736
I'm not good at
making new friends.
711
00:33:17,838 --> 00:33:20,107
I haven't made a
new friend in years.
712
00:33:20,207 --> 00:33:21,475
Making friends was never hard
713
00:33:21,575 --> 00:33:23,444
because I was always
part of a team.
714
00:33:23,544 --> 00:33:25,713
I had, like, instafriends,
guys I met through sports.
715
00:33:25,813 --> 00:33:28,215
Everyone kind of
had to be my friend.
716
00:33:28,315 --> 00:33:30,451
- That's not true.
- Don't tell me that.
717
00:33:30,551 --> 00:33:32,386
I do bad shit.
718
00:33:32,486 --> 00:33:33,954
I say dumb things.
I do dumb things.
719
00:33:34,055 --> 00:33:36,190
I broke Bobby's leg.
720
00:33:36,290 --> 00:33:38,392
I left the DWL because
no one really likes me.
721
00:33:38,492 --> 00:33:39,994
I'm gone because
any other promotion
722
00:33:40,094 --> 00:33:41,262
would have run me outta town.
723
00:33:41,362 --> 00:33:42,830
We're not any other promotion.
724
00:33:42,930 --> 00:33:44,097
But the worst thing I've done...
725
00:33:44,098 --> 00:33:47,301
the worst thing I've done
726
00:33:47,401 --> 00:33:49,737
is I told you you were
gonna stay in Duffy
727
00:33:49,837 --> 00:33:51,672
and kill yourself like Dad.
728
00:33:56,177 --> 00:33:57,912
It's forgotten.
729
00:33:58,012 --> 00:33:59,814
I'm reminding you.
730
00:33:59,914 --> 00:34:01,981
I'm that guy.
731
00:34:01,982 --> 00:34:06,620
I'm the guy who said that.
732
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:08,389
What kind of guy says
that to his brother?
733
00:34:08,489 --> 00:34:10,057
Me.
734
00:34:10,157 --> 00:34:12,626
It's in the past.
Don't matter.
735
00:34:12,726 --> 00:34:16,097
Everything that came to
me after that statement,
736
00:34:16,197 --> 00:34:17,965
I set in motion.
737
00:34:18,065 --> 00:34:19,332
That's not true.
738
00:34:19,333 --> 00:34:21,135
Yes, it is.
739
00:34:22,770 --> 00:34:25,473
And yeah, yeah,
740
00:34:25,573 --> 00:34:29,290
you were kinda dick-ish
about the belt,
741
00:34:29,410 --> 00:34:32,513
but I didn't have to say that.
742
00:34:32,613 --> 00:34:34,949
And yet I did.
743
00:34:35,049 --> 00:34:38,419
And I did it because
I'm a selfish fuck
744
00:34:38,519 --> 00:34:40,721
who was praised his
whole life for sports.
745
00:34:40,821 --> 00:34:43,090
And now that sports are over,
746
00:34:43,190 --> 00:34:45,826
I don't know what the fuck
to do when I don't get it.
747
00:34:51,599 --> 00:34:55,136
I'm gonna go out and
get us some food.
748
00:34:58,272 --> 00:35:01,342
I'm not coming home, Jack.
749
00:35:29,236 --> 00:35:32,139
Lord, please help me.
750
00:35:35,976 --> 00:35:40,381
Please... help me.
751
00:35:44,285 --> 00:35:47,288
I need help, Lord.
752
00:35:54,461 --> 00:35:56,797
You know where
you're going next?
753
00:35:56,897 --> 00:36:01,202
Some wonderful, unknown
place called "Not Duffy."
754
00:36:03,637 --> 00:36:06,006
I dunno. Due West?
755
00:36:06,106 --> 00:36:08,856
That's what they say, right?
756
00:36:08,976 --> 00:36:11,178
"Go West, young man.
757
00:36:11,278 --> 00:36:13,247
You're not getting younger."
758
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:22,456
Sometimes I think about Dad...
759
00:36:24,425 --> 00:36:27,428
And if he's happier... dead.
760
00:36:30,998 --> 00:36:32,933
You ever wonder if it's like...
761
00:36:33,033 --> 00:36:36,570
worse? What comes
after this life?
762
00:36:38,472 --> 00:36:40,574
I'm just focused on this life.
763
00:36:44,511 --> 00:36:47,848
I think the thing that
made Dad a sad man
764
00:36:47,948 --> 00:36:51,418
is that...
765
00:36:51,518 --> 00:36:53,821
he wanted something
he never got.
766
00:36:56,023 --> 00:36:59,360
And it made him sad and... mean.
767
00:37:01,895 --> 00:37:04,865
I don't want something
so much like being famous
768
00:37:04,965 --> 00:37:07,968
that I become sad and mean.
769
00:37:11,905 --> 00:37:14,108
The only thing that keeps
me going is not that I think
770
00:37:14,208 --> 00:37:17,478
that this life's gonna
be better, but...
771
00:37:19,713 --> 00:37:22,783
that what comes after
we die might be worse.
772
00:37:25,019 --> 00:37:26,787
I made life hard on you.
773
00:37:29,290 --> 00:37:31,625
I shouldn't have.
774
00:37:35,429 --> 00:37:37,865
I'm really sorry.
775
00:37:41,802 --> 00:37:45,706
Thanks for coming all the
way out here, Jack, really.
776
00:37:45,806 --> 00:37:48,776
If you ever feel bad about
how things went down,
777
00:37:48,876 --> 00:37:51,779
just...
778
00:37:51,879 --> 00:37:54,081
let it go.
779
00:37:54,181 --> 00:37:56,850
It's forgiven. For reals.
780
00:38:00,087 --> 00:38:04,058
I care about you so very much.
781
00:38:04,158 --> 00:38:05,492
I see that.
782
00:38:05,592 --> 00:38:07,728
Thanks.
783
00:38:14,868 --> 00:38:16,637
Uh...
784
00:38:20,274 --> 00:38:22,409
Please.
785
00:38:22,509 --> 00:38:26,814
For gas money and
the room damage.
786
00:39:01,662 --> 00:39:03,350
Put me down you big oaf.
787
00:39:03,450 --> 00:39:06,086
- Come on. Come on. Over!
- Help!
788
00:39:06,186 --> 00:39:07,721
Fuck you, Cottonmouth.
789
00:39:09,723 --> 00:39:10,891
Hey.
790
00:39:10,991 --> 00:39:13,494
Hey, Willie, I've been
working on my reporter voice.
791
00:39:13,594 --> 00:39:15,162
Which sucks. Diego.
792
00:39:15,262 --> 00:39:16,542
Tell me why you're
doing the move
793
00:39:16,597 --> 00:39:17,564
I scripted for The Dad.
794
00:39:17,664 --> 00:39:18,832
I told y'all.
795
00:39:18,932 --> 00:39:20,332
I just thought me
ragdolling Crystal
796
00:39:20,401 --> 00:39:21,648
might be more unexpected.
797
00:39:21,769 --> 00:39:23,537
For who, me?
798
00:39:23,637 --> 00:39:25,014
'Cause I was up till 2:00
working on that shit.
799
00:39:25,038 --> 00:39:26,907
I just thought you'd
maybe like this better.
800
00:39:27,007 --> 00:39:28,975
- It's totally my fault.
- It's not totally your fault.
801
00:39:28,976 --> 00:39:31,020
The fault is all of yours
for not doing what I wrote.
802
00:39:31,044 --> 00:39:33,380
Would you do this to Jack?
Huh? I don't think so.
803
00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:35,082
Hey, y'all gotta watch this.
804
00:39:35,182 --> 00:39:36,450
No, Debbie. Not now.
805
00:39:36,550 --> 00:39:39,086
Willie, I mean it.
806
00:39:39,186 --> 00:39:40,821
If you're just joining
us, shocking video
807
00:39:40,921 --> 00:39:43,357
has surfaced of NFL
linebacker Chris DeLeo
808
00:39:43,457 --> 00:39:44,458
assaulting his wife.
809
00:39:46,927 --> 00:39:51,331
Go [bleep, bleep].
810
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:54,802
The football star
ragdolling his wife
811
00:39:54,902 --> 00:39:56,537
follows a disturbing
trend of athletes
812
00:39:56,637 --> 00:39:58,305
and domestic violence,
813
00:39:58,405 --> 00:40:01,541
including all-star
shortstop Joe Kwitkowski
814
00:40:01,542 --> 00:40:03,710
caught punching his girlfriend
at a Las Vegas casino.
815
00:40:03,811 --> 00:40:05,546
White House Press
Secretary Millicent Burgin
816
00:40:05,646 --> 00:40:07,815
had this comment moments ago.
817
00:40:07,915 --> 00:40:09,983
The President condemns
the current wave
818
00:40:10,083 --> 00:40:12,152
of violence as
highlighted by the rash
819
00:40:12,252 --> 00:40:15,289
of pro athletes caught on
camera pummeling women.
820
00:40:15,389 --> 00:40:16,889
This Saturday, he
and the First Lady
821
00:40:16,890 --> 00:40:19,960
will lead a call-to-action
march on the National Mall
822
00:40:20,060 --> 00:40:22,696
in an effort to wipe out
this national scourge.
823
00:40:22,796 --> 00:40:23,964
Informal protests
824
00:40:24,064 --> 00:40:25,608
have begun to form
outside the headquarters
825
00:40:25,632 --> 00:40:28,235
of the NFL and MLB.
826
00:40:28,335 --> 00:40:32,973
When we come back, red wine,
superfood or super poison?
827
00:40:34,875 --> 00:40:36,276
Wow.
828
00:40:36,376 --> 00:40:39,513
Y'all take the rest of the day.
829
00:40:39,613 --> 00:40:41,048
Turn that shit off.
830
00:40:46,720 --> 00:40:48,822
And then I
shit-stamped his face.
831
00:40:48,922 --> 00:40:51,291
Oh, they fuckin'
with you, Charlie,
832
00:40:51,391 --> 00:40:53,794
and they fuckin'
with your business.
833
00:40:53,894 --> 00:40:57,164
- Wild Bill has a lotta fans.
- Boom!
834
00:40:57,264 --> 00:40:59,480
Yeah, they're
having a nice laugh.
835
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:01,068
They think they're funny, guys.
836
00:41:01,168 --> 00:41:03,250
- Yeah, I can be funny.
- Very.
837
00:41:03,370 --> 00:41:05,839
I can be funny, too.
838
00:41:10,644 --> 00:41:13,427
"Winning this title is by far
839
00:41:13,547 --> 00:41:16,416
the greatest moment in my life.
840
00:41:16,517 --> 00:41:18,919
A life that hasn't
been too full of 'em.
841
00:41:19,019 --> 00:41:23,590
When I won that strap, I
was on top of the world
842
00:41:23,690 --> 00:41:25,192
and y'all helped put me there.
843
00:41:29,563 --> 00:41:32,032
- Hey, you.
- Hey.
844
00:41:32,132 --> 00:41:33,877
We're supposed to take
the rest of the day off.
845
00:41:33,901 --> 00:41:36,003
I was just thinking
about how things might go
846
00:41:36,103 --> 00:41:38,205
when Willie and Jack talk.
847
00:41:38,305 --> 00:41:40,250
Just wanted to walk through
some stuff I was thinking.
848
00:41:40,274 --> 00:41:41,575
Makes sense.
849
00:41:41,675 --> 00:41:43,524
You think they're gonna,
you know, maybe...
850
00:41:43,644 --> 00:41:44,878
- Change things up?
- Yeah.
851
00:41:44,978 --> 00:41:46,880
Yeah. I...
852
00:41:46,980 --> 00:41:48,381
I get why.
853
00:41:48,382 --> 00:41:50,126
Yeah, it's like, you
know, when a big tornado
854
00:41:50,150 --> 00:41:51,518
devastates a town.
855
00:41:51,618 --> 00:41:53,287
No one wants to watch
a tornado movie.
856
00:41:53,387 --> 00:41:54,720
Hmm. Yeah.
857
00:41:54,721 --> 00:41:55,989
I just...
858
00:41:56,089 --> 00:41:57,691
I just want to wrestle.
859
00:41:57,791 --> 00:41:59,903
I can't tell people what
things can mean or should mean
860
00:41:59,927 --> 00:42:02,195
or how whatever they're
watching means what it means.
861
00:42:05,866 --> 00:42:07,301
You wanna get something to eat?
862
00:42:07,401 --> 00:42:09,736
Yeah. Sure.
863
00:42:09,836 --> 00:42:10,804
Cool.
864
00:42:12,039 --> 00:42:13,954
Crystal, I gotta
ask you something.
865
00:42:15,542 --> 00:42:17,182
Yes, I was afraid Diego
was gonna drop me.
866
00:42:17,277 --> 00:42:19,680
No.
867
00:42:19,780 --> 00:42:22,783
Uh, did it mean anything when
you kissed me at the fair?
868
00:42:25,152 --> 00:42:27,120
Saying good night?
869
00:42:27,220 --> 00:42:29,723
I thought I felt certain, uh,
870
00:42:29,823 --> 00:42:32,459
a certain something extra.
871
00:42:32,559 --> 00:42:35,329
Tch. Uh...
872
00:42:35,429 --> 00:42:38,378
Not really.
873
00:42:38,512 --> 00:42:40,467
No.
874
00:42:40,567 --> 00:42:44,638
Okay then. Yeah, it's, uh,
875
00:42:44,738 --> 00:42:46,273
Sorry to have asked.
876
00:42:46,373 --> 00:42:48,609
I guess you can't really
help it if you're naturally
877
00:42:48,709 --> 00:42:50,143
really good at it.
878
00:42:50,243 --> 00:42:54,982
When it means something...
this is how I kiss.
879
00:43:04,825 --> 00:43:06,360
Any other questions?
880
00:43:06,460 --> 00:43:08,862
- Nope.
- Good.
881
00:43:08,962 --> 00:43:12,079
Now if you don't
mind, after dinner,
882
00:43:12,179 --> 00:43:14,968
we should probably just
go to our neutral corners.
883
00:43:15,068 --> 00:43:16,336
Cool down.
884
00:43:16,436 --> 00:43:17,437
Focus.
885
00:43:17,537 --> 00:43:19,673
Sure. Yeah.
886
00:43:21,341 --> 00:43:23,152
I'm just gonna kiss you one
more time first, though.
887
00:43:23,176 --> 00:43:24,911
Sounds good to me.
888
00:43:40,394 --> 00:43:41,361
Hey.
889
00:43:42,963 --> 00:43:44,031
Found him.
890
00:43:44,865 --> 00:43:46,913
He's not coming back.
891
00:43:47,034 --> 00:43:49,269
Sorry, Jack.
892
00:43:49,369 --> 00:43:50,937
He's going West.
893
00:43:51,038 --> 00:43:54,373
Where, not sure.
894
00:43:54,374 --> 00:43:55,642
Wow.
895
00:43:56,076 --> 00:43:57,344
Yeah.
896
00:43:59,646 --> 00:44:00,881
Yep.
897
00:44:01,148 --> 00:44:03,083
How's things here?
898
00:44:05,298 --> 00:44:06,787
You haven't seen the news?
899
00:44:06,887 --> 00:44:09,423
I've been calling you,
texting you, nothing.
900
00:44:09,523 --> 00:44:11,692
- Uh-uh.
- Okay.
901
00:44:11,792 --> 00:44:15,429
All right, well, we
need a women's division.
902
00:44:15,529 --> 00:44:17,397
It's time.
903
00:44:17,497 --> 00:44:18,932
Okay.
904
00:44:19,032 --> 00:44:20,701
Okay. So here, here's
what I think we do.
905
00:44:20,801 --> 00:44:22,145
I think we bring in some
stringers for a while.
906
00:44:22,169 --> 00:44:24,004
Women, you know, we
can't have Crystal
907
00:44:24,104 --> 00:44:26,239
getting beat on each week
by every man on our roster.
908
00:44:26,339 --> 00:44:28,474
And vice versa, she can't
run through everyone.
909
00:44:28,475 --> 00:44:30,620
It's a nice little story,
we've pulled it off this far.
910
00:44:30,644 --> 00:44:33,346
But it's not sustainable
for business.
911
00:44:35,582 --> 00:44:38,952
You all right?
912
00:44:39,052 --> 00:44:42,556
Look, there's a reason your
dad didn't want Ace doing this.
913
00:44:42,656 --> 00:44:45,258
He didn't think he
was built for it.
914
00:44:45,358 --> 00:44:47,294
He did think it was for you.
915
00:44:49,296 --> 00:44:51,007
Last couple days have
been good for me though.
916
00:44:51,031 --> 00:44:52,599
You know, I think I really found
917
00:44:52,699 --> 00:44:54,339
some story areas that
we can write toward,
918
00:44:54,434 --> 00:44:56,603
that we can keep exploring.
919
00:44:56,703 --> 00:44:58,972
I'm excited about
where we can go.
920
00:44:59,072 --> 00:45:01,655
Just sorry we had to
pivot a bit with Crystal.
921
00:45:01,775 --> 00:45:04,444
She's really something, Jack.
922
00:45:04,544 --> 00:45:05,979
I don't want to
talk about Crystal.
923
00:45:08,014 --> 00:45:11,251
I'm...
924
00:45:11,351 --> 00:45:13,386
rethinking everything.
925
00:45:17,624 --> 00:45:19,392
Understood.
926
00:45:21,495 --> 00:45:23,230
See you later.
927
00:45:52,859 --> 00:45:55,929
How in the hell did
you get in here?!
928
00:45:56,029 --> 00:45:57,764
Still got my key.
929
00:45:57,864 --> 00:45:59,900
You should really
get a keypad, Jack.
930
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:01,800
We had trouble working
the spotlight at first.
931
00:46:01,835 --> 00:46:03,703
But luckily my cousin
Paul spent a summer
932
00:46:03,804 --> 00:46:05,205
touring with Billy Squire.
933
00:46:05,305 --> 00:46:06,873
What was Squire's
hit song again, Paul?
934
00:46:06,973 --> 00:46:09,409
- "Stroking"?
- "Stroke Me!"
935
00:46:09,509 --> 00:46:11,578
Get off my property. Now.
936
00:46:14,781 --> 00:46:16,082
Turnabout's fair play, Jack.
937
00:46:16,183 --> 00:46:18,185
You came on my property,
now I'm on yours.
938
00:46:18,285 --> 00:46:19,953
I thought about
sticking one of those
939
00:46:20,053 --> 00:46:21,731
big red bows they put
on new cars on myself,
940
00:46:21,755 --> 00:46:23,890
but that seemed like overkill.
941
00:46:23,990 --> 00:46:26,893
Big boy, I'm here to give props.
942
00:46:26,993 --> 00:46:28,671
I thought you'd painted
yourself into a corner
943
00:46:28,695 --> 00:46:30,096
at the State Fair.
944
00:46:30,197 --> 00:46:31,707
But uh, you booked your
way right out of that.
945
00:46:31,731 --> 00:46:34,768
I mean, Crystal.
Wow, my hat is off.
946
00:46:34,868 --> 00:46:36,369
- Literally.
- Very nice of you
947
00:46:36,469 --> 00:46:38,438
to drive all this way
just to put me over.
948
00:46:38,538 --> 00:46:40,774
I want both of us to get
over. I got a big heart.
949
00:46:40,874 --> 00:46:44,010
It's time we did
a cross-promotion.
950
00:46:44,110 --> 00:46:47,581
Your guys against my guys,
one ring, red rover red rover.
951
00:46:47,681 --> 00:46:49,349
People go nuts. We get rich.
952
00:46:49,449 --> 00:46:50,984
No, thank you.
953
00:46:51,084 --> 00:46:52,686
Leave your key on the way out.
954
00:46:52,786 --> 00:46:54,855
A smart man, a man with
dreams and obligations,
955
00:46:54,955 --> 00:46:57,591
stops walking for a
second and hears me out.
956
00:46:57,691 --> 00:46:59,359
Would that get you
on your way faster?
957
00:46:59,459 --> 00:47:00,727
Think about it.
958
00:47:00,827 --> 00:47:02,829
I got your expat Rooster
here on my payroll.
959
00:47:02,929 --> 00:47:05,298
You decided to fuck with me
and punch me three times.
960
00:47:05,398 --> 00:47:08,835
That crime is the most viewed
video on Dystopia's Instagram.
961
00:47:08,935 --> 00:47:11,238
Bill and his big
hairy fuck buddy Diego
962
00:47:11,338 --> 00:47:13,807
started talking shit about me
on their brand new podcast.
963
00:47:13,907 --> 00:47:15,709
Now I wanna beat
their brains in.
964
00:47:15,809 --> 00:47:17,410
All of this is
"free story," Jack,
965
00:47:17,510 --> 00:47:20,780
the most precious
commodity in our business.
966
00:47:20,881 --> 00:47:24,217
Jack, you know I was the
best on the DWL roster,
967
00:47:24,317 --> 00:47:27,687
and you can get
all of this back.
968
00:47:27,787 --> 00:47:30,156
At least for a couple of cards.
969
00:47:30,257 --> 00:47:32,259
- Fuck you, Deandre.
- Ha ha ha.
970
00:47:32,359 --> 00:47:33,627
Fuck you, Jack.
971
00:47:33,727 --> 00:47:34,871
You fucking with my money when
972
00:47:34,895 --> 00:47:36,396
you fucking with Dystopia.
973
00:47:36,496 --> 00:47:38,732
Oh, listen, all of you
were fucking with me.
974
00:47:38,832 --> 00:47:40,867
I went down to Florida
to get my brother.
975
00:47:40,967 --> 00:47:43,236
Come clean, Charlie.
You were poaching Ace.
976
00:47:43,336 --> 00:47:45,305
Poaching Ace just like
you poached Rooster.
977
00:47:45,405 --> 00:47:48,108
Don't use the poach on me
like I'm some fucking animal.
978
00:47:48,208 --> 00:47:50,043
Or an egg.
979
00:47:50,143 --> 00:47:52,078
Look, Jack, I just offered
a couple guys a job.
980
00:47:52,178 --> 00:47:53,513
Okay?
981
00:47:53,613 --> 00:47:55,448
Everyone is very tense
with being fucked with.
982
00:47:55,548 --> 00:47:58,018
But here's the thing, we live
in an extraordinary time.
983
00:47:58,118 --> 00:48:00,420
The meaning of "fuck
with" has changed.
984
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:03,056
The meaning of "fuck
with" has evolved.
985
00:48:03,156 --> 00:48:04,891
How's it go again Rooster?
986
00:48:04,991 --> 00:48:07,761
If I "fuck with" somebody,
it used to be bad.
987
00:48:07,861 --> 00:48:09,162
Now it can be good.
988
00:48:09,262 --> 00:48:13,033
So, if "I fucks with
you," then we good.
989
00:48:13,133 --> 00:48:16,536
So I wanna take
the old definition,
990
00:48:16,636 --> 00:48:19,039
"You fucked with me,"
bad, and turn it into,
991
00:48:19,139 --> 00:48:20,774
"I fucks with you," good.
992
00:48:20,874 --> 00:48:22,609
Am I getting it right, Rooster?
993
00:48:22,709 --> 00:48:24,044
Oh, you're a quick
learner, Gully.
994
00:48:24,144 --> 00:48:25,712
Yeah, well, young
people keep me young.
995
00:48:25,812 --> 00:48:28,014
Jack, there's money
lying on the floor.
996
00:48:28,114 --> 00:48:31,284
And all we gotta do is
bend over and pick it up.
997
00:48:31,384 --> 00:48:32,752
Not interested.
998
00:48:32,852 --> 00:48:34,754
Jack, I'm here with
an olive branch.
999
00:48:34,854 --> 00:48:36,756
Shove it up your ass.
1000
00:48:36,856 --> 00:48:38,959
That's not a nice thing to say.
1001
00:48:39,059 --> 00:48:42,562
That's not a nice thing to
do with an olive branch.
1002
00:48:42,662 --> 00:48:45,198
When someone presents you
with a peace offering,
1003
00:48:45,298 --> 00:48:47,400
especially a potentially
lucrative one,
1004
00:48:47,500 --> 00:48:49,060
you should treat it
with some affection,
1005
00:48:49,135 --> 00:48:53,206
not tell a guy to
jam it up his bum.
1006
00:48:53,306 --> 00:48:56,076
Would you take my olive
branch out of my bum, Jack?
1007
00:48:56,176 --> 00:48:58,745
That way we can have peace,
profit, and by the way,
1008
00:48:58,845 --> 00:48:59,813
we can have olives.
1009
00:48:59,913 --> 00:49:00,823
You like olives, Rooster?
1010
00:49:00,847 --> 00:49:01,982
Yes.
1011
00:49:02,082 --> 00:49:03,850
Jack don't. Ha ha.
1012
00:49:03,950 --> 00:49:06,619
So maybe we should just
go on ahead and go home.
1013
00:49:06,720 --> 00:49:07,654
That's a great idea.
1014
00:49:07,754 --> 00:49:09,222
Get the fuck on your way.
1015
00:49:09,322 --> 00:49:10,882
Okay, Jack, I guess
the time for smokin'
1016
00:49:10,924 --> 00:49:12,926
the peace pipe is over.
1017
00:49:13,026 --> 00:49:14,961
What in the hell is happening?
1018
00:49:15,061 --> 00:49:16,763
How many people you
got hiding around here?
1019
00:49:16,863 --> 00:49:20,700
Jack, this fireplug of a man
is my attorney Sam Burphy.
1020
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:22,869
He practices in
Florida and Georgia,
1021
00:49:22,969 --> 00:49:25,238
but he especially enjoys
Georgia because he says
1022
00:49:25,338 --> 00:49:27,040
it's like fish in
a barrel up here.
1023
00:49:27,140 --> 00:49:28,707
Sick 'em, Counselor.
1024
00:49:28,708 --> 00:49:30,443
This is personal
injury litigation
1025
00:49:30,543 --> 00:49:32,321
pursuant to you trespassing
onto petitioner's property
1026
00:49:32,345 --> 00:49:33,813
and punching
petitioner in the face.
1027
00:49:33,913 --> 00:49:34,991
Yeah. You can't do that, Jack.
1028
00:49:35,015 --> 00:49:36,092
That's assault and battery.
1029
00:49:36,116 --> 00:49:37,384
And that's against the law.
1030
00:49:37,484 --> 00:49:38,818
My body is my body.
1031
00:49:38,918 --> 00:49:40,286
I have a right to its safety.
1032
00:49:40,387 --> 00:49:41,621
You violated it.
1033
00:49:41,721 --> 00:49:43,332
I lost a crown, I lost
the feeling in my jaw,
1034
00:49:43,356 --> 00:49:44,958
and I also lost about $3 million
1035
00:49:45,058 --> 00:49:46,926
worth of personal credibility.
1036
00:49:47,027 --> 00:49:48,728
You've been served.
1037
00:49:48,828 --> 00:49:50,897
- I'm so good at that.
- Mm-hmm.
1038
00:49:50,997 --> 00:49:55,368
Ah-ah-ah, Jack.
Paul's recording.
1039
00:49:55,468 --> 00:49:57,871
Also, an officer of the
court is present, me.
1040
00:49:57,971 --> 00:50:00,106
So one punch under
these circumstances
1041
00:50:00,206 --> 00:50:01,486
will secure petitioner's victory
1042
00:50:01,574 --> 00:50:03,743
and bring on a
second lawsuit, which
1043
00:50:03,843 --> 00:50:05,111
petitioner will also win.
1044
00:50:06,279 --> 00:50:08,039
Let me stick my chin
out there for you, Jack.
1045
00:50:08,114 --> 00:50:11,718
Go ahead. No?
1046
00:50:11,818 --> 00:50:14,988
All right, slugger, very good.
1047
00:50:15,088 --> 00:50:18,224
You seem to fancy yourself
a master storyteller.
1048
00:50:18,324 --> 00:50:19,726
Well, tell me a
story about a man
1049
00:50:19,826 --> 00:50:21,826
who thinks he can punch
people without consequence.
1050
00:50:24,230 --> 00:50:26,466
That story is not this story.
1051
00:50:26,566 --> 00:50:29,035
But in the spirit of
burying the hatchet,
1052
00:50:29,135 --> 00:50:32,072
you get to decide what
the consequence will be.
1053
00:50:32,172 --> 00:50:34,274
You help me restore
my honor in the ring
1054
00:50:34,374 --> 00:50:37,910
with a cross-promotion
between the DWL and Dystopia
1055
00:50:37,911 --> 00:50:40,613
or I hit you back and
take everything you got.
1056
00:50:44,951 --> 00:50:47,120
It is not for me to ask you
1057
00:50:47,220 --> 00:50:49,255
why the consequences
of punching me
1058
00:50:49,355 --> 00:50:50,990
never occurred to you.
1059
00:50:51,091 --> 00:50:53,293
Maybe they did, and
you dismissed them.
1060
00:50:53,393 --> 00:50:55,428
Not smart.
1061
00:50:55,528 --> 00:50:59,199
So you decide if you wanna
take the olive branch
1062
00:50:59,299 --> 00:51:02,402
out of my bum and work together
1063
00:51:02,502 --> 00:51:06,206
or if you wanna watch me take
every goddamn dollar you make
1064
00:51:06,306 --> 00:51:08,341
for the rest of
your goddamn life.
1065
00:51:12,011 --> 00:51:14,581
I look forward to
hearing from you.
1066
00:51:16,449 --> 00:51:18,518
All right, everybody,
back on the bus.
1067
00:51:36,870 --> 00:51:39,105
Can't believe you found me.
1068
00:51:39,205 --> 00:51:41,508
I care about you.
1069
00:51:41,608 --> 00:51:43,409
We shared a lot.
1070
00:51:50,150 --> 00:51:52,552
How's that? Tender?
1071
00:51:52,652 --> 00:51:54,187
Yeah, a little.
1072
00:51:56,890 --> 00:51:58,558
Thought about you today.
1073
00:52:00,894 --> 00:52:02,128
You look different.
1074
00:52:03,696 --> 00:52:04,964
How so?
1075
00:52:05,064 --> 00:52:06,833
You didn't have any clothes on.
1076
00:52:09,035 --> 00:52:10,904
Aah!
1077
00:52:11,004 --> 00:52:12,839
That's for Bobby, motherfucker!
1078
00:52:12,939 --> 00:52:13,987
Payback time!
1079
00:52:14,107 --> 00:52:15,141
Get him!
1080
00:52:16,476 --> 00:52:17,810
What the fuck are you doing?!
1081
00:52:17,911 --> 00:52:19,445
Fucking you up!
1082
00:52:21,014 --> 00:52:22,582
Dad?
1083
00:52:24,184 --> 00:52:25,518
Say again, Mr. Spade?
1084
00:52:26,686 --> 00:52:30,056
Oh, he said, "Hold
it together, Ace!"
1085
00:52:30,156 --> 00:52:31,756
I named you Ace because
you're aces, Ace.
1086
00:52:31,824 --> 00:52:34,627
Number one! I warned you
don't give up the fight!
1087
00:52:34,727 --> 00:52:36,796
Compete! Compete!
1088
00:52:36,896 --> 00:52:37,797
Compete!
1089
00:52:49,209 --> 00:52:53,146
Oh, shit.
1090
00:53:01,521 --> 00:53:05,325
It's so sexist that we
can't have male wrestlers
1091
00:53:05,425 --> 00:53:07,627
beating on female
wrestlers because people
1092
00:53:07,727 --> 00:53:09,996
get upset when they see
real men beat real women.
1093
00:53:10,096 --> 00:53:11,477
I mean, okay, fine.
1094
00:53:11,578 --> 00:53:14,667
But how come they
can't separate the two?
1095
00:53:14,767 --> 00:53:19,005
I, me, the Debs, know Crystal
getting punched in the face
1096
00:53:19,105 --> 00:53:20,840
is pretend, for
my entertainment,
1097
00:53:20,940 --> 00:53:24,110
just like when it happens
to Jack or Diego or Bill.
1098
00:53:24,210 --> 00:53:26,145
I said this exact
thing to Bobby.
1099
00:53:26,246 --> 00:53:28,414
Why can't people find
it cool that a man
1100
00:53:28,514 --> 00:53:31,216
twice the size of Crystal is
launching her across the room?
1101
00:53:31,217 --> 00:53:34,254
She's a character.
She's not dead, okay?
1102
00:53:34,354 --> 00:53:36,656
She has the belt. We're
gonna make sure she wins.
1103
00:53:36,756 --> 00:53:40,092
We just don't want it to look
implausible every second.
1104
00:53:40,093 --> 00:53:41,827
She needs something
to fight against.
1105
00:53:41,828 --> 00:53:45,097
You show me a woman who doesn't
have to fight against men.
1106
00:53:45,098 --> 00:53:47,834
You can't. It's so sexist!
1107
00:53:47,934 --> 00:53:51,117
And the heck with the women
who can't handle watching it.
1108
00:53:51,237 --> 00:53:55,608
I'm so sick of estrogen
and fragile female egos.
1109
00:54:00,179 --> 00:54:02,348
Not sure it's
fragility or estrogen.
1110
00:54:02,448 --> 00:54:03,883
It might just be
people not wanting
1111
00:54:03,983 --> 00:54:05,094
to be thinking about
bad stuff while they're
1112
00:54:05,118 --> 00:54:06,452
being entertained.
1113
00:54:06,552 --> 00:54:08,488
That might be it too.
1114
00:54:08,588 --> 00:54:10,523
What do I know?
1115
00:55:03,376 --> 00:55:05,678
Is it too late to say sorry?
1116
00:55:09,382 --> 00:55:13,486
I'm sorry I put the DWL first.
1117
00:55:13,586 --> 00:55:16,456
And I'm sorry that I
haven't been the best me.
1118
00:55:16,556 --> 00:55:19,826
I'm sorry I kept
your son from you.
1119
00:55:19,926 --> 00:55:23,162
I'm sorry.
1120
00:55:23,262 --> 00:55:26,833
I'm... I'm sorry too.
1121
00:55:28,034 --> 00:55:29,969
I love you so much.
1122
00:55:30,069 --> 00:55:33,039
I love you.
1123
00:55:33,139 --> 00:55:35,007
He missed you.
1124
00:56:02,602 --> 00:56:04,837
- Want Mama's bacon?
- Yes, please.
1125
00:56:04,937 --> 00:56:05,905
Thank you very much.
1126
00:56:27,593 --> 00:56:31,898
Uh, Mom doesn't want me home.
1127
00:56:31,998 --> 00:56:33,933
Can I stay here?
1128
00:56:34,033 --> 00:56:36,235
Uncle Ace!
1129
00:56:36,335 --> 00:56:37,470
Of course.
1130
00:56:38,971 --> 00:56:40,173
I missed you.
1131
00:56:40,273 --> 00:56:42,241
Hey, dude.
80638
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