All language subtitles for Chopper.2000.1080p.BluRay.x264-VETO

There's somethin'
desperately wrong

- with him and he needs...
- He needs help.

Good luck to him, you know?

I mean, good luck to him
and anyone that's helping him

because he's ...
I'm tellin' you.

Neville Bartos
has been in hiding

since Chopper shot and
narrowly missed killing him

for the second time.

See, that's a good
bloody wound, that.

- Can you see it?
- Course I can bloody see it!

I was hospitable. I let him in.

I said hello. I was a friend.

And he did it again.

- He did it again.
- That's right!

So, what have you got
to say to people

who say, "He's a real bad
piece of work.

"He's criminally insane"?

Who says that?

Well, Neville Bartos, for one.

Oh, that bloody sook?
Is he still crying, is he?

You know,
Neville shouldn't have stepped

into the criminal world
unless he was prepared

to put his whole
bloody leg into it.

Look, the average man
on the street

doesn't worry
about Chopper Read.

The average man
in the street,

he likes me,
he couldn't care less about me.

What I do, he applauds.

You know, and now they're
saying that the victims,

that the bloody proceeds
of my book

should go to these
victims of crime.

Well, who are my victims?

- Victims of crime!
- They're bloody drug dealers.

Can you believe it?

You want money to go to drug
dealers? Perish the thought!

I've got nothing
on my conscience

for killing a few drug dealers.

You know, I mean, the drugs,
as far as I'm concerned,

they completely ruined
the criminal world,

and in my opinion they will
probably ruin normal society.

That's right.
That's what you said before.

You seem to have
a hatred for humanity.

Well, I mean,
humanity doesn't like me.

That's why we're sitting here
now talkin'.

I'm a bloody freak show.
I'm a bloody freak show.

Hello! Hello! Waving at us!

He's waving at us!

The Chopper, Chopper.
He's waving at us.

An average person watching
this thinks I'm a bloody freak.

What's your opinion?

I'm just a bloody normal bloke.

A normal bloke who likes
a bit of torture.

See that line there?

That's your side of the yard.

You stay that side of the yard,
we'll stay this side.

Good. You got that,
knucklehead?

What's he done
to his hair?

That's boot polish, mate.

He's developed a bit
of a complex about it.

Poor old bugger.

Nice to see
your bald patch's gone, Keith.

No, no, looks good, mate.

I like it.

So you're not gonna
get me then, Keithy?

You're not worth doin'
any more time over, you maggot.

Oh, Keithy, you'd get off
on self-defence.

All's you've got to do
is kill me,

present my psychiatric records
to the court.

There's not a jury in the land
that will convict you.

You're fuckin' sick,
Read. You're insane.

Beethoven had
his critics too, Keith.

See if you can name
three of them.

That's right. You can't.

Why don't you do yourself
a favour and neck up, you cunt?

You're a parrot.
Fucken' blowfly.

Oh, Keith, you know, I always
thought I was a good bloke.

Ha! What did you ever do
that was good?

Well, I bashed you.

That was good, wasn't it?

It was good for a bit of
a giggle, anyway. Eh, Keithy?

Oh, come on, Keith.

You should thank me.

You've got a head that needs
regular panelbeating.

Oh, fuck him.
Who does he think he is?

He knows who he is, mate.

He's Keithy George, right?

He's...he's the Painters
and Dockers, mate.

Out there he's a Painters
and Dockers.

In here he's just another
bare bum in the shower.

Why do you hate him so much?

I don't hate him.
I don't hate anybody.

Well, why have we been
fighting him

for three fuckin' years, then?

I don't know.

Well, mate,
we should have a reason.

We'll make one up.

Step in.

Step in, Mark.

Fuckin' get that
into yaaaa...

..cunt!

It's a goal, kicked by Sheldon.

Shit! Fuck.

Mr Cole? Mr Cole?!

What the fuck's
going on down there?

There's been an accident!

Keithy's done himself
a mischief!

Rightio.

- Hurry up!
- I'm comin' down in a minute.

Shit!

Are you alright, Keith? Eh?

It's alright, Keith.

You're not gonna bleed
to death, mate.

Alright? They called the screws.

The screws are comin'.

Do you want a cigarette, Keith?

Get away from me.

It's alright, mate.

Have a cigarette, Keith.

Keithy, hey, come on, mate.

You don't much like me,
do you, Keith?

You bash people for no reason,
just to make your name.

You're a fuckin' idiot.

I'm not the dumb cunt
what's pissing blood, Keith.

Right?

I'm the one who runs
the division, mate.

Make no mistake
about that, alright?

What's going on here?

Oh, no, she's sweet.

Oh, Keithy seems to have
done himself a mischief.

- Jesus.
- Stay back, fellas. Step back.

Are you alright, Keithy?

Off you go, mate.

Off to the sick bay.

Oh, whinge, whinge.
Fuckin' whinge.

Be a nice late one tonight, sir.

I don't mind, Mark,
I can tell you.

- Bit of overtime?
- That'll do me, mate.

Enjoy.

Bloody put my shoulder out.

What?

Mark, this is Detective
Senior Sergeant Creswell

and Detective Sergeant Wyatt.

They're from
the prison liaison office.

They're investigating
the incident that happened

in H Division yesterday
involving prisoner George.

I must inform you that you're
not obliged to say anything.

Anything you do say
may be given in evidence.

Do you understand that?

Look, all I can tell you

is what I've already told
Mr Beasley.

None of us saw anything.
It was just one of those things.

Bluey Barnes
was reading a magazine.

Ambrose Atcheson
was taking a piss.

Johnny Price
was washing his hands.

Jimmy Loughnan was watching a
bull ant crawl across the table.

And I was watching Jimmy
watching the bull ant.

Sadly, none of us
are going to be able

to help you on this occasion,
much as we'd like to.

Well, I put it to you
that that's not the truth.

Look, I didn't stab
Keithy George.

I had nothin' to do with
what happened to Keithy George.

Right?

And I'm sure when he wakes
from his slumber,

he'll swear to God
that I didn't stab him.

Well, he's not gonna
wake up, Mark.

He died this morning.

Shit.

It's not a good thing.

The sort of thing
that's gotta come back at you.

Don't get all spooky on me.

You dream about that shit
for a while. Big deal.

You keep your feet
on the ground.

It's not what
he's talkin' about.

He's talkin' about the Dockies.

They have to get us back now,
don't they?

Hey! What did you want me
to do about it, Blue?

Just fuckin' lie there while
he's stabbin' me to death, huh?

Let him stab me to death?

That would've been wise,
wouldn't it?

Hey, we didn't want to
start it up again!

That's the fuckin' whack!

That's the fuckin' whack!

Bluey!

Get fucked.

About bloody time, Blue!

Don't get angry, Blue.

You'll lose your edge.
You'll lose your perspective.

You can't make friends
with your enemies.

Even when peacetime
is declared, no-one bloody...

You know, they're all still
fuckin' enemies.

Aren't they?

Nothin's ever forgotten, Blue.

It's just human bloody nature.

My money's always been
on you, Mark, you know that.

But the Dockies
are very threatened

about what's happened
to Keithy George.

Very threatened.

You've really put them
in a corner.

Now, I don't know
how seriously to take this,

but there's a rumour
going around

that they've put
a contract out on you.

Eh? How much?

Apparently the hat's
been passed around

and five of the Dockies
have put in two grand each

to have you knocked.

That's not bad.

I should have a go at it myself.

Oh, come on, it all sounds
a little bit ridiculous.

I mean, who are they
gonna get to do it?

Take your pick, Mark.

All's we gotta do
is we grab two screws,

knives to their throats,
take their keys,

march them up into the scullery.

Right? Lock them
in the scullery.

Then get matchsticks,
stick 'em in the keyholes

separating the gates
from the division, right?

Then we ring the alarm bells,

we pick up the phone
to Governor Beasley,

yeah, and we tell him
we've got two screws hostage

and we've taken
the entire division to siege.

Then we'll grab the keys,

we'll go through
the whole joint, cell by cell,

and I will icepick
the fuckin' spines

of every prisoner
in this division,

make paraplegics
of the lot of 'em.

Right.

Turn 'em all
into jelly sandwiches.

Mate, I don't want
to be in it.

- You're a fuckin' girl's dress.
- I don't care what you say.

The blokes down here
haven't got $10,000.

They haven't got 10,000 cents.

They haven't got
any sense at all, mate.

Look, it's simple.
We do it all in one night.

We go swoop, wake up in
the morning, problem's solved.

I've got me appeal going, Chop.
I don't want to fuck it up.

You'll be in it, though,
won't you, mate?

Do I have to remind you
of certain things?

You're never gonna let me forget
that fuckin' judge, are you?

No.

And as for you,
you butt-ulcerated knucklehead,

when it starts,
you jump straight in.

If you stand there
thinkin' about it

for two fuckin' seconds,
you are back there,

in the yard, crying,
like when I first met you.

Right?

Yep.

- Yeah?
- Yep.

- Want a smoke?
- Ta, Jimmy.

Yeah, yeah, anyway, er,

yeah, he'd swallowed the thing,
but it didn't come out

so he said to wait
till the next morning.

So, I...I seen him, mate.
I saw him in the dunny.

Yeah?

Oh, he was there
with a toothpick,

trying to go at it, trying...

It's a bit early in the morning
for kung fu, isn't it, Jim?

What's the matter with you?

Has a good look at them.

Climbs the stairway
to take the starting gun...

One giving a little trouble.

Sun is shining brightly
here at Randwick.

And a good big crowd on hand...

..running for $100,000.

Just hang on a second.

What are you doin'?

What's got into you?

Hey, come here, mate.

Come here.

I'm sorry, Chop.

It's alright.

It's alright.

Ugh!

Shit!

Jimmy, if you keep stabbing me,
you're gonna kill me. Right?

Let me go.

I'm not gonna let you go, Jimmy.

You've got a knife
in your hand.

You let me go,
I'll drop that shiv.

You drop the knife
and then I'll let you go.

Yeah, let me go,
I'll drop the shiv.

I'll drop off. I'll drop off.

Let go of the knife, Jimmy.

OK, I'll drop off, alright?

Let go...let go of me hands.

I'm gonna let you go. OK?

You go and sit down.

Terrific sneak go, Jim.

Bloody terrific.

You obviously listened
and learnt well, didn't you?

I always give credit
where credit is due, Jimmy.

I give you top marks
for treachery, mate.

Blue, you're bloody useless.

- You alright, Chop?
- Yeah, I'm alright.

Jesus, mate.
Does it hurt?

Nup.

I think you'd better
lie down, eh?

What for?

It's not lookin' too good, mate.

Come on, let me help you.

You gotta lie down
and lie still, eh?

Come on, just lie down.

I'm...I'm sorry, Chop.

I'm sorry.

Cut me.

No, I can't fuckin'
cut you, mate.

Bluey, cut me fuckin' arm!

- I can't cut you, mate.
- Give me the...

- I can't do it.
- Here, you piss-weak fuckin'...

Agh!

- Hey, put the knife down.
- He's a mad cunt.

- Put the knife down, Jimmy.
- He just fuckin' attacked me.

OK, he attacked me first. Right?

- Put the knife down.
- Oh, get him out of here first!

We're not getting anybody out
till the knife's on the table.

- Put it on the table.
- I've got no problem with that.

- Just get him out of here.
- On the table, Jim!

Put it down!

Chopper went fuckin' mad!

He fuckin' tried to stab Jimmy!

He attacked him first!

He attacked me first, boss!
Right?

How's about gettin' someone
to have a look at me arm?!

How are you, Mark?

Are you prepared
to make a statement?

No.

Oh, look, the bloke's
been my best mate since 1975.

You know, we've had our
fallouts from time to time.

It's no big deal.

You know, it's like
if your mum stabbed you.

What do you do?

You don't get upset.
You don't get angry.

You go, "Shit. Mum's stabbed me.

"I better get off
to the hospital."

Well, he's made a statement
against you, Mark.

No, he hasn't.

Have a look at that.

That's not Jimmy.

- Jimmy wouldn't do that.
- He's done it.

He's also filed a claim

with the Victims of Crime
Compensation Board.

Victims of Crime?

- How much can he get?
- 5,000.

Jimmy Loughnan?

A bloody victim of crime?

Shit. Cheeky dog.

Hey, so if he's charged,

does that mean I can lay
a claim against him?

Jimmy!

- Hey, Jimmy!
- Yeah.

Is that you, Jimmy?

Yeah.

You weak cunt.

You could've had me,

but you lost your guts at
the last second, didn't you?

I tell you, Jim,
if I'd have had that knife,

you wouldn't have got
a stab in the arm.

I'd have cut
your fuckin' head off.

Mark, why are you
getting up against Jim?

He's the one who made
the first statement against me.

The cops were gonna charge me
with attempted murder

because of a statement made

by Jimmy, Mr 'My Lips
Are Sealed' Loughnan.

The prick even filed

a bloody Victims of Crime
compo claim against me.

But he's the one
who's been charged, Mark.

You can't stand up in court
against him.

Who do you think I am, Blue?
The fuckin' Red Cross?

I'm not running
some public charity here.

Now, Mark, you know

I've always had
a lot of time for you,

but Jimmy's the one
who has been charged.

Now, I think the main thing,
you know, Mark,

is that...is that Jim doesn't
get any more jail out of this.

"Jimmy doesn't any get
any jail out of this."

Well, he'd better get himself

a real fuckin' lawyer then,
hadn't he?

In the matter of the Police

versus James Richard Loughnan,

Mr Newman is appearing
for the prosecution.

The defendant
is not represented.

Now, Mr Read,
have you been searched

prior to your appearance
in this courtroom today?

Yeah, by all and sundry.
Everyone's had a go at it.

And why do you think
that is, Mr Read?

Well, they searched everyone.

Especially you, Mr Loughnan.

I put it to you that the reason
you were searched so thoroughly

is because you have a history

of violent behaviour
in courtrooms.

Are you not currently
serving a sentence

of 14-and-a-half years

for the attempted abduction
of a judge?

That's 16-and-a-half years,
Jimmy.

16-and-a-half years.

I'm told you used a shotgun
in this attempted abduction.

Is that so?

Had it right here under my coat.

Oh, yeah? Nothin' down
there now, I hope.

- Oh, I wish there was.
- I bet you do.

Who would you use it on, hey?

- This judge?
- No.

I'd use it on you
at the moment.

Yeah, I bet you would.

You hold human life very cheap,
don't you, Mr Read?

Some human life, yeah.

Oh, you have a lot of hostility
towards me, don't you?

No. Perish the thought.

I even lent you that suit
you're wearing in court today.

- You lent him that suit?
- Yeah.

I realise it's not a fashion
competition, Your Honour,

but if he'd have worn
what he was gonna wear

you'd have given him 20 years
for bad taste.

Alright.

I am a friend of yours,
am I not?

It's been alleged
you're a friend of mine.

And you are in fact serving
a sentence of 17 years

because you tried
to free me from jail.

- Is that so?
- Yes.

And yet you've told the court
that I attacked you

on the morning
of August 20th.

- Is that right?
- Yes.

Why would I attack you,
Mr Read?

Who knows how
your mind works, Jim.

So, all the people we've heard
in court today -

some of them you consider
to be your friends -

they're all telling lies?

Just a group of people

banding together
to fight a common enemy.

Even your friends?

Oh, yeah.

Armed police
surrounded Brunswick Court today

during a case involving

notorious prisoner
Mark Brandon Read.

Read was giving evidence
at the committal proceedings

of fellow prisoner
James Richard...

Check this out, Blue, eh?

I'm the one on trial,
he's the one all over the news.

That's a nice
little photo of you, Jimmy.

A nice LITTLE photo.

You are such a fuckin'
show pony, aren't ya?

You could use that
in your passport.

You fuckin' big-head wanker!

Keith was right
about you, mate.

You bash people for no reason
just to get a name for yourself.

Yeah? Well, one day they'll
write a book about me, Jimmy.

And when you grow old
and your grandkids ask you,

you know, what you used to do
in your heyday?

You'll be able to say,
with great pride,

that you couldn't kill
Mark 'Chopper' Read.

And that'll be
your claim to fame.

You fuckin' dog, Read!

Yeah,
he is a fuckin' dog, Jimmy!

Did you hear that, Chopper?

You're dead now, mate.

You've got no friends left.

Do you think
I fuckin' give a shit?

Fuck!

Now, if you could
just see it in your hearts

to move me to Sale,
I'd be really appreciative.

Geelong's a dirty old hole.

Come on, Mark, you're classified
as a maximum security prisoner.

You're in here convicted
of a very serious offence.

Suppose a bribe's
out of the question?

- Mark, this is not a joke.
- I'm not joking.

I'll be getting
5-grand crimes compo

when Jimmy and I finish up
at the Supreme Court.

Look, Mark, a bribe
is out of the question.

You're not going anywhere.

Yeah, but if I stay in here
I'm dead.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry about
that, but nothing can be done.

Mr Beasley?

Mr Beasley!

Righto. I'm out
of H Division today.

- You're not going anywhere.
- Yeah?

Let's go!

26-25,
the Maggies are in front.

29 minutes gone, second term.

Don't saw at it!

I'm trying to be gentle, mate.

You fucking idiot.

Rip into it! Slash it off!

Mark, what the fuck
are you doing?

- Ohhh!
- Oh, Jesus!

The other one.

Oh, Chopper! Fuckin'...

You're not gonna get me
for this later, are you?

Just get on with it,
ya fuckin' fairy! Rip into it!

- Eugh!
- Oh, fuck, Chopper!

Get a screw, would ya?

You're fuckin'
bleeding, Chop!

Boss!
He's bleeding.

You've got to stop
the bleeding, OK?

Gonna need cold water.

Get yourself into
the shower, alright?

You're talking to me now,
are you? Hey?

After all I've done for you.

I took you from tears to fuckin'
glory and you do this to me.

I'm not angry at you, Jim.

You just broke my heart,
that's all.

What's going on?
Hey, what's going on?

Chopper's cut
his fuckin' ears off!

Wouldn't get out
of H Division, eh?

You practically ran down
and carried me out.

- Haven't you? Look at you!
- Get him out.

I told you I'd get out,
didn't I?

Have a look
who's fuckin' leaving, boss!

Get him out!

Hey, Chopper!
Can I have your sunglasses?

It's no big deal, boss.

They can bloody
sew them back on.

You're looking at me ears,
aren't ya?

Well, you weren't thinking of me

when you did that, were you?

I missed you, bub.

Did you?

Look, I'm out of it now. Right?

I made it as
a top street fighter.

I made it as a top crim.

I've got nothin' to prove
any further. Right?

You've got to keep
movin' forward,

otherwise you bloody perish.

There's no point
goin' backwards.

You know, you've
gotta keep movin' forward.

- Oh, yeah. Give me your arm.
- What are you doin'?

Oh, not with that, bub.

- Come on.
- Oh, fuckin' shut up!

Give me your arm.

You know I hate it like that.

It's just a bit of goey.

Oh, fuck!

Ohhh, are you alright?

Hello?

Are you there?
Hang on, I'll check.

Oh. You've given up crime, eh?

Mark? Is that you?

Oh, Dad, sorry. You were asleep.

Come in here, Mark.

No, you're right.
You go back to sleep, Dad.

No, come in here.

You haven't been out for 10
years. Where you been all day?

You're right, Dad.
You look tired.

- You go back to sleep, eh?
- No. Get in here.

Get in here and talk
to your old dad.

You've been away for 10 years.

I've been sittin' here
waitin' all day.

Don't sit there. Sit over here.
Sit over here in this chair.

I've been sittin' around
all day waitin' for ya.

- You want a drink?
- Yeah.

- Ta.
- Good to have you home, son.

Well, cheers, big ears.

Ahhhh.

Nice shirt, son.

- What's wrong with it?
- Nothin'.

It's good. I like it.

You like it?

Do they make 'em for men?

Come on, don't be a sook.

I wrote Mum.
Told her I was gettin' out.

Oh, yeah. Did you hear
anything from her?

- No.
- No. Of course you didn't.

Yeah.

I heard your mate
Jimmy Loughnan's at large.

- Oh, that old chestnut.
- Yeah.

He beat the charge.

I always told you, Mark,
didn't I?

Your kindness would be
the death of you.

Look, he's fucked, Dad.
He's a bloody chronic junkie.

Oh, yeah. YOUR mate.

Life got him back in the end.

- It all bloody equals out.
- Yeah.

Equals out alright.

He stabs you in the guts
and he gets off.

You do 10 years.

All equals out?
Your mate, Jimmy.

Jimmy Loughnan. Fuck.

No, bubby,
you walk on the inside,

the gentleman walks
on the outside.

- See, it's called etiquette.
- Oh, yeah?

Haven't heard that one before.

It's from the days when they
had horse-drawn carriages...

Hey, baby! Hey!

..and the mud used to splash up
from the gutter.

If mud splashes up,
I'm here to protect you.

Are you? Thanks, sweetheart.

Piss off! You're blocking
the entrance.

Hey, Chopper!

- Good to see you out, mate!
- Good to see you, Chopper.

Good to see you, mate.
Looking great.

- Keep it dark, fellas, will ya?
- What?

It's just so good to see you
out, mate, you know.

It's like I've got
a fuckin' sign on me

with you guys carrying on.

- Sorry, mate. Just..
- Just fuckin' got out.

Don't make a big fuckin' deal.

We're just happy to see you out.
Out and around.

Good to see me, is it? Huh?

Yeah.

- Youse have a good night.
- Have...have a good night.

Oi.

Oi!

G'day, Chopper.
I heard you were out.

Are you kidding me?
What, you forgot?

No, no,
you're fuckin' kidding me!

Fuck. Neville.

That's right, mate.
You got it in one.

Neville fuckin' Bartos.

You see? He did
fuckin' remember.

Of course you did!

What was it, mate?
What was it you forgot, hey?

How are you, Nev? Are you good?

What do you reckon?
Take a fuckin' look.

Huh? Have a fuckin' geez.

What do you think I'm good?

Of course I'm fuckin' good,
yeah.

Listen, Nev, about the leg.

I'm sorry, mate, you know?
It bloody upsets me.

- It plays on my mind a bit.
- No, no, no.

That's was 10 years ago, mate.
It's water under the bridge.

Just forget about it, OK?

No, seriously.
Forget about it, alright?

Because I've forgotten
about it,

so don't worry about it,
you know?

Plus I got crimes compo payout.
Pension as well, eh?

Really? Big bloody payout, eh?

And not a drink in it for me?

Not even a fuckin'
thankyou card.

No, no. Now, you got me there.
What are you drinking?

I'll get you a fuckin' bottle,
alright? A fuckin' bottle.

Because what's mine
is yours, OK?

Now, would your girl
like a drink?

- Marsala and Coke?
- Marsala and Coke.

Right, good choice.

Nick, I need some drinks over
here, quick-sticks, alright?

A bottle of Marsala and
a bottle of Coke. And for you?

- Beer.
- Get us a couple of beers too.

Quick.

Have a bloody look at him.

Putting on that limp, trying
to get me to feel sorry for him.

He seemed alright.
Seemed quite genuine.

Well, you would think
he was genuine, wouldn't you,

the way he was staring
into your eyes?

No, Mark.

Fuckin' cripple.

Don't worry about it, Mark.

Don't worry about him.

He's done very bloody well
for himself too, hasn't he?

Mark, leave it alone.

Fuck, I'm gonna nip this
in the bud.

Mark, Mark, don't...

Oh, fuck, Mark.

Listen, you're not still shitty
with me about that leg, are you?

What?

You're...you're not still angry
at me about the leg, are you?

No, forget about it.

'Cause I don't know
if you remember, Neville,

but I had that bloody shotgun
pointed at your head.

I reconsidered and dropped it
down to your kneecap, remember?

Forget about it, alright?

Why the hell were you gettin'
lippy with me with a shotgun?

- I had a bloody loaded shotgun.
- The leg is OK.

Alright? I mean, fuck,
look at me, mate!

Look at me! I'm flyin'.

I'm fuckin' flying!

Now go back to your girl
and relax, OK?

Forget the leg. I'll get you
another drink, alright?

Chop-Chop! How are you doing?

Who was that?

He wanted a light.

Just leave it, bubby.
Don't worry about it.

You look at me
or you look straight ahead.

You don't make eye contact
with anyone. Right?

What was that for?

- Come on, we're going.
- No.

Fuck off, Mark!

Get your fuckin' jacket.

I'm not going anywhere!

Let go of me, Mark!

Shut the fuck up.

What are you fuckin'
looking at, Hopalong?

- Nothin', mate, nothin' at all.
- You got a problem?

- You fuckin' cripple!
- No problem between you and me.

Want to fuckin' finish it?
Come on. Fuckin' finish it!

Yeah? Yeah?!

Want to fuckin' have a go?!

I'm sorry, bubby.

I get a bit bloody schizo
or somethin', you know?

It's, like...it's not easy,
you know?

I go out,
everyone's starin' at me ears,

they're starin' at my tatts,
you know?

I done some mad things,
bub, you know?

Fuckin' done
some mad things.

And now I've got a bloody team
of enemies, you know?

You should lay off the speed.

I'm trying to think
of the last time

I actually took some time
to be normal, you know?

Like, stood there
and looked at a bloody sunset

or, you know,
go to a bloody bar.

I can't go to a bar, right,
and have a relaxed bloody beer.

I can't go to a restaurant and
have a relaxed bloody meal.

I've got to sit there
with my back against the wall

in case someone comes in.

You know, it's like my luck
can't bloody last forever.

Bub...

I'll get us
some money together.

Alright?

I've got some money comin' in.

What say you and I, we go down
to fuckin' Tassie, right,

and we make our own
bloody life together?

Aww.

No offence,
but I think I'd rather

keep working at the brothel.

Oh, I can't stop working,
bubby. I tried.

Oooh.

What's the matter, honey?

Who is he?

No, bubby.

Yeah.

It's that fuckin' Neville
fuckin' Bartos, isn't it?

Mark, you're not gonna start
all this again, are you?

I'm fuckin' talkin' to you!
Who is he?

Fuck!
You're hurting me!

Oww!

Is it Neville Bartos?

Let go! Let go of me, Mark!

Neville Bartos.

Fuckin' let go of me!

Jesus!

What is wrong with you?

I fuckin' knew it.

Just bloody tell me, right?
Who are you fucking?

Mark...

Everyone.

I work in a fuckin' brothel.

That's not what I mean.

You fuckin' know what I mean.
Who are you kissin'?

You.

See?

I'm kissing you.

You get away from me
with that mouth.

It's touched a wog's cock.

Oh, you're fuckin' nice,
aren't you?

You're fucked! You fat cunt!

Fuck it.

What do you want?

It's me. Mark.

I know who it is.
What do you want?

Come on, bubby,
just let us in, would you?

No, Mark. What do you want?

What do you want?

I'm sorry, bubby. I'm sorry.

Yeah, righto.

I don't want to see you, Mark.

I love you, bubby.

Oh. Pull the other fuckin' one.

I need to see you, Tanya.

No. I'm not letting you in.

You got that?

- Come on, Tanya. Come on.
- No. Fuck it. No.

- We'll just talk.
- No, I've heard it before.

- Yeah, alright.
- Tan...Tanya!

Tan...

I'm goin', then.

I'm fuckin' goin'.

Fuck.

Fuck you...

..you fuckin' slut!

Fuckin'...

- Shit! Oh, get out! Get out!
- Who you bloody talking to?

Fuck.

Hello? Who's that?
Is that you, Neville?

- Who's this?
- You fuckin' tip rat.

Righto. Tanya,
you're coming with me.

Oh, piss off, Mark!

Mark, get out of my house.
Mark, listen to me!

Mum, you stay out of it, right?
I'm not gonna bloody hurt her.

- Mark!
- See, you're scaring your mum.

Mark, stop.

Tanya, you... Get here!

Get here!

Get here, Tanya!

- Why?
- Don't, Mark!

- Why Neville?! Why Nev?
- Fuck off!

Why Neville? Huh?

You've ruined everything!

Settle down, you fuckin'...

Oh! Oh, for God's sake,
leave her alone!

Get out of here!

Have a look what you've done!

Have a look what
you've gone and done!

Your mum's upset!

I'm a bloody disappointment
to you, aren't I?

What?

Well, you probably read all
the newspaper stories about me

and you've heard the word
on the street about me

and you've got
a picture in your head

of what bloody
Chopper Read's like.

And we're sittin' here at
this bar all very nice and cosy

and I'm a bit of
a bloody let-down to you.

What are you on about, Mark?

I feel like I should be
doing more for you,

Mr Downie, to be honest.

You know,
there's crims out there,

they're getting around like
a bloody protected species.

You know? Why?

I mean, look,

I know you blokes don't mind
turning the occasional blind eye

whilst I deal out my own bit
of poetic justice, right?

Actually, Mark, that's
not the way we operate.

I understand perfectly,
Mr Downie.

There are certain things that
you can't appear to condone.

Look, appearance has got
nothing to do with it.

We DON'T condone them.

I understand, Mr Downie.

Yeah? Who is it?

Nick, go and see who it is.

Yeah, who is it, huh?
Hey, who is it?

It's me.

What the fuck do you want, huh?

Look, is Neville home?

Hey, Nev!

Hey, Nev!

What the fuck do you want?

Look, Nev, I just come over
to apologise, mate.

How the fuck'd you find
where I live?

Don't worry about it.

I'm a bit embarrassed about
what happened the other night.

I just came over to bloody
apologise and clear it up.

You mad bastard!

You've got a nerve
coming around here.

No fuckin' about. This is a
very good neighbourhood, mate.

OK? No fuckin' around.

You understand?

Open the gates, Nev. Come on.

I'm gonna let you in,

you're playing the game
by my rules, right?

Yeah, it's your house, mate,
you know? It's your house.

- Yeah, it's a lovely house too.
- Full respect, mate. You know?

There'd better be respect, mate.

Total respect.

Hey is that back garage
shut, Nick, or what?

- Yeah.
- You sure?

- Yeah!
- Rightio.

Check it out.

You're
bloody kidding me.

How well have I done, mate? Eh?

Who's the king, eh?
Who's the king, huh?

- Very nice.
- Hey, what are you doin', mate?

Throwing your cigarettes
on the grass?

Nick, pick it up, will ya?
Pick it up! Get it off!

- Alright! I didn't throw it!
- Jesus!

What you guys doing, following
me around like a bad smell?

It's like you wanna
fuck me up the arse.

Go mix some fuckin' drinks
or something, will you?

Get out of here! Fuck!

That explains your limp.

- Hey?
- Can you dive in?

No, sorry. No grubs allowed.

Come have a look at
my babies, will ya?

Are they beautiful or what, eh?

Whatever you do, don't use the
name on those bowls, alright?

They're aliases.

What?

Don't look at me like that!

Some smart cunt comes here,
looking to rip me off,

uses those names and those dogs
will fuckin' eat them to pieces.

Here, check this out.

- Neville!
- Eh?

Are you bloody right?

I should report you to
the fuckin' RSPCA, you idiot.

No, mate.

Nah, mate, they like it.
No, they do.

My dogs do.
Keeps them alert, eh?

Come on, let's see
if those poo jabbers

have got the fuckin'
drinks ready.

- Hey, Nick?
- Yeah?

Neville's turning over
a bit of this stuff, is he?

Yeah, mate, he's got

all the fuckin' speed
in the western suburbs.

- Really?
- Yeah.

He's doin' well then, isn't he?

Tell me. You reckon he'd wanna
throw a bit of cash my way?

Yeah, mate, I don't think
he'll go for that.

Well, fuck him.
He'll have to go for it.

Hey, Neville?

Neville!

Nev!

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah?

Hey, Nev. I hear you wanna
give me a bit of money.

Where'd you hear that, mate?

It's just the mail.

I can collect it now
if you like.

I think someone's
pulling your leg, mate.

Someone's pulling
your leg, Neville.

Someone will pull your other
fuckin' leg in a minute.

Now, how much you wanna gimme?

Who do you think you're
talking to, mate? Eh?

Who do you think
you're talking to?

I'm Neville Bartos.
Remember that?

Or has your fuckin' memory
lapsed, you fuckin' idiot?

What?

Who do you think
you're talkin' to, mate?

Oh, sorry. Was I being rude?

Yes, mate, you were being
very fuckin' rude,

you fuckin' dickhead.

You wanna make some money,
you make it yourself.

Get him a drink, Nick.
And behave. I said behave!

Fuckin' idiot! Do you believe
that fuckin' cunt or what?

- Hey, Neville!
- Chop, relax.

No, no. I'm only giving him
a bloody rev-up.

Neville. I'm sorry, mate.

Where are ya?

Neville?

Bloody sorry, mate.

I've had a couple of drinks.

I get a bit bloody
carried away.

I've just been out,
you know? Fuck...

Sorry. I've had a bit of goey.

I don't know who you think
you're talkin' to, mate,

but you're being very rude,
do you understand?

Show me some respect, will you?
Very, very rude!

- Robbo?
- Very rude.

You know?
I'm fucking embarrassed.

I'm fuckin' sorry.
Nev, I'm sorry.

Alright, mate, apology accepted.

Now let it go, will you?
Relax. Take it easy.

Fuck. I'm trying
to relax over here.

But seriously, Nev, like,
how are you holding for cash?

I'm a bit bloody broke.

Listen, mate.
What are you talkin' about?

Cash.

There's no cash here!

Here, there's no cash. Alright?

Cash, no. Robbo?

No cash.

I tell you what -
you try getting

from where you're sitting
to the front door.

'Cause I reckon
I could shoot you

from where you're sitting
to the front door.

Because that's about
as long as you've got

to produce some money
for me right now.

I'll give you 20 seconds
to produce some cash,

else I'll fuckin' shoot ya.

- One, two, three, four...
- I've got no cash, mate.

Jesus, you come in,
I fuckin' give you drinks.

- What's the matter with you?
- Sit the fuck down!

- 10, 11, 12...
- Hey, hey, hey!

Showing some hospitality here,
mate. What are you doin'?

- Stop with the fuckin' counting!
- ..16, 17...

- ..18, 19...
- Take it easy, will ya?

Fuck!

God!

What the fuck
are you doin', mate?

Jesus Christ, relax!
He's not your enemy!

Well, he fuckin' is now,
isn't he?

Get a rag!
Get a fuckin' rag!

Forget the rag, boys. Get
the fuckin' cash, would ya?

Bloody frozen!

How long's it gonna take
to defrost that, you idiot?

He's in a bad way, mate.

What's the matter,
Neville?

Burst your bloody appendix or
something? You having a whinge?

Come on, Chopper. We gotta
get him to a hospital!

So you took him to the hospital?

No, I didn't take him
to the bloody hospital.

Now, tell me this, right.

Why would I shoot a bloke -
bang! -

and then put him
in the bloody car

and whizz him off to the
hospital at 100 miles an hour?

It defeats the purpose

of having shot him
in the first place.

What's more,
it's bloody insulting!

It's bloody insulting.

I mean, am I the only bloody
standover man in the country

who provides a medical plan
for some of these characters?

Do I look like Mark Brandon
'Medicare' Read or something?

Alright. Who's bloody driving?

Don't be such a bloody sook!

Such a big fuss
over such a little hole.

I'll put one in the brain, then.

Mark! Man! Jesus Christ!

Chopper! Come on, mate.
You don't do this to your mates!

You're a dead man, Chopper.

You're walkin' around with
one foot in the fuckin' grave!

Get in, you fuckin' golliwog.

Hospital, driver.

Come on!

He says you took him
to the hospital.

You've spoken to him, have you?

Well, it's just what
he's been saying around town.

Look, you'd do well
to have a good look at

the motives behind
him saying that.

Why would he say it
if it's not true?

I dunno. I'm not a bloody
psychiatrist, am I?

Look, Mark, this is
no fuckin' joke, right?

Now, we've heard... And I don't
fuckin' appreciate this.

We've heard you've been
running around town

telling all and sundry
that you've got

some kind of
umbrella arrangement with us,

that we've given you virtual
carte blanche to commit crime.

No.

Mr Downie, that's rubbish,
right?

That's complete
fuckin' bullshit.

Fuckin' oath
it's bullshit.

Listen, you get these bloody
speed freaks together, right?

They'll create all kinds of
fanciful stories.

Oh, yeah?

The other fanciful story
doing the rounds

is that they've put out
a contract on you.

Oh. Fuckin' Mafia. Wankers.

Who are they anyway?
Bloody fruit shop owners?

They should stick to selling
their bloody fruit and vegetable

and just fuckin' leave me alone.

You know, I'd be taking
this seriously if I was you.

Oh, I'm takin' it seriously.

I'm bloody shakin' in my boots.

Now, apparently, they're gonna
try and get you at Bojangles.

Anastopoulos and Bartos have
gone to Sydney for the weekend,

so obviously
they're not fuckin' around.

You know what?

They should bloody stay
in Sydney,

those fuckin'
razzle-dazzle wankers.

It'd suit their style, you know?

The only time you ever see

a bloody Sydney criminal
on the television

is when he's lying in the gutter
dead, after being killed

by a bloody imported
Melbourne hit man.

I really think you
should be taking this seriously.

I'm taking it seriously.
Trust me.

Jimmy Loughnan's name's
also been mentioned.

Jimmy Loughnan?

Oh, he's a fuckin' couch potato.

Well, just what we heard.

Jimmy Loughnan? Are you sure?

Get the fuck up now!

Come on, fuck ya! Jesus!

Oh, for fuck's sake!
Put it away.

Put the fuckin' thing away,
will you? Put it away!

Fuck you!

Put the fuckin' thing away!

Jesus!

- You wanna have a look?
- No. Fuck off.

Get the fucking door.

It's probably those weasels...

You're already up.

Oh, get up and get
the fuckin' door.

Fuck ya.

Fuck, you're lazy.

Who is it?

- It's Mark.
- Mark who?

Chopper.

What are you doing
coming around here?

Look, Jim,

all those problems we've had,

they're all in the past.

And all these rumours
that are flyin' around,

well, they're all bullshit.

I just wanna come in.
I wanna be friends.

What rumours?

That I'm gonna clip ya.

I haven't heard that one.

Well, it's not true.

Look, just let us in, would ya?

Look, mate,
I'm not letting ya in, right?

I've got kids here.

They're just little kids
and they will be afraid

by seeing a man with no ears.

Right.

It's nothing personal.

No, it's no problem.

Who is it?

Come on, Jim.
Look, just let us in.

I'll come in and have a chat.

Come on, mate!

I don't bloody bite.

Alright.

Alright.
Just...just hang on.

Get out the way.

Are you armed?

Of course I'm bloody armed.

I've got a bunch of peanuts
tryin' to kill me.

Would I get around
without my fuckin' guns?

Alright. Well, you throw 'em in.

You throw 'em all in or I'm
not gonna let you in, alright?

Throw 'em in first. OK?

You right?

A stick of gelignite. Very nice.

Is that it?

No. One more.

- Is that it?
- Yeah.

Pretty nice-looking...
ladies gun.

Oh! Beautiful.

Yeah, it's a girl's gun,
but it does the job.

Mark, this is my fiancée, Mandy.

- Hello, Mandy.
- G'day.

Fiancée, hey?

Jeez, mate,
you'd better speed it up

and make an honest woman
out of her quick.

The bun's nearly cooked.
Look at that!

Yeah, Jimmy.

Hello! Hello!

You've got your finger in
your mouth there, little one!

Sit over there.

I'll go make 'em a cup of tea,
I suppose.

But we don't like
king prawns.

No, you don't
like king prawns.

She doesn't like king prawns.

This is plush, mate, hey?

This is swank!

Who says crime doesn't pay?

Gee, this is a nice gun.

You've got yourself
a family now, Jim. Eh?

Little girl. Hello!
That's lovely, mate.

I don't reckon I could
have a family, though.

They're the sort of thing
that could be used against you,

if you know what I mean.

No, not like the way it sounded.

But you know what I mean.
Are you right there, love?

She's... Look out!

How come he hasn't got any ears?

How come I haven't got
any ears?

You're a cheeky little girl,
aren't ya? Eh?

Hey, Mandy, get Shazzy
off to bed now, OK?

Hey, wake up.
Come on, twinkle toes.

- Up. Let's go.
- Yeah, righto!

It's bedtime.

- I don't wanna go to bed!
- Not you. Shazzy.

- It's Shazzy's bedtime.
- Oh, yeah.

- Put her to bed.
- Righto.

- God.
- Good on you, Shazzy.

'Night, Shazza!

See you, Shazzy!

Take Mummy to bed!

I'll just get you
a nappy, darling.

See ya, Shazzy!

Night-night!

Ni-night!

Goodnight, Uncle Chop. Alright.

'Night, Shazza! Alright!

Jesus, Jim.

You really have landed on your
your bloody knees, haven't you?

Mark, what are you
doin' here, mate?

What? Can't I visit a mate?

You and I were
very best of friends.

Jimmy...

..I do have a couple of
questions for you, though.

Yeah, I've got
a couple of questions.

Now, the first question is...

..is there something you're
supposed to be telling me?

No.

There's nothing you're
supposed to be telling me?

No, mate.

Everything that's
happened in the past,

I'll wash it all away

so long as there's nothing
I need to know now.

No.

You're not angry at me
for anything?

Mate, no, I'm not
angry with you.

It's all water
under the bridge, mate.

No new water? No fresh buckets
coming around since then?

No fresh buckets
coming around, mate.

OK. Good.

Now, the second question.

Are you employed at the moment?
Are you gainfully employed?

Perish the thought.

How much you using?

Hmm, you know,
I've got a handle on it. It's...

Fucking H Division, mate.

The only thing you ever
had a bloody handle on,

Jimmy Loughnan,
was the occasional knife handle

when things got a bit
too much for you, eh?

Knife handle
on the old Chop-Chop.

Jimmy, listen.

I'm gonna show you something.

Now, if this goes any further,
my life's in danger

and you'll be the one
who's getting killed, alright?

Now, have a look at this.

I need someone
to help me working.

Guess who I'm working for now.

Bloody guess.
Have a bloody guess.

Fuck, uh...

Wrong. Begins with 'C'.

Amanda Duncan.

- Amanda Duncan?
- Cops?

Yeah.

I got a fucking
green light from 'em.

Have a look at this.

Dirty Dick Downie.

Yeah, he looks like
a fucking accountant,

but he's a hard bastard.

Super Steve Cooney.
Look out, Super Steve!

You heard about Neville
Bartos's burst appendix?

Yeah.

That was me
and the raincoat men.

Downie was driving
the fuckin' car!

And you drove him
to the hospital?

No, I didn't drive him
to the bloody hospital!

Do I look like
Mother Teresa to you?

You know him, do you?

Who?

Fuckin' who! Neville!

What are you...

What are you doin'
standin' there, sticky nose?

- Eh?
- I fuckin' live here!

You shouldn't be talkin'
about this stuff here!

We got kids here!

Oh, fuckin' go
and do the dishes!

You fuckin' shut up!

Don't come back in here when
we're talkin' business. Alright?

Business, yeah.

I bet you've got
a briefcase, have you?

So there's nothing you're
supposed to be telling me, Jim?

No, mate.

Nothing about a contract
that's out on me?

Mm-mm.

Mate, you must have two dozen
contracts out on you.

Yeah, well, apparently Neville
Bartos and Nick Anastopoulos

and the rest of
the fairy godfathers

have put a contract out on me.

Look, mate, I don't know
anything about it, right?

Really?

You see, I heard you're the one
that's supposed to do it.

But I guess it's a case of
first in best dressed, isn't it?

No.

No, Mark. No.

You're being
fuckin' paranoid, right?

Yeah, well, just 'cause
I'm being paranoid

doesn't mean people aren't
trying to kill me, Jim.

Mark, I've got kids here, mate.
I've got kids here. OK?

Jimmy really likes you!
He speaks highly of you!

He wouldn't fucking
try and knock you!

Fuckin' sure he fuckin' does.

- Well, fuckin' just shoot me!
- Don't shoot him!

Put the gun away, Chopper!

If you wanna shoot me,
in front of my kids,

go on, then, I fuckin' dare ya!

- Don't, Jimmy!
- Shoot me in front of my kids!

Go on, you fuckin' cunt!

Go on!

Oh, I'm sorry, Jim.

Fuckin' idiot.

I didn't mean to
bloody scare ya.

Mate, you've gotta relax
a bit, you know?

You've gotta take it easy.

You've gotta fuckin'...
get out of town.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You're jumpin' at shadows, eh?

Oh, yeah, whatever.

Look at you, though.
Bloody hell.

You're goin' bad, Jim.

You've got bloody kids
and everything.

For Christ's sake. Here.

Fix your house up.

Fix your bloody kids up.
Get your life in order.

You can't live like this,
it's bloody terrible. Take it.

Jim!

Mother's a drug addict,
for fuck's sake.

That's not for drugs.

Oh, Jim,
don't slam the fuckin' door.

The kids are asleep!
Or they were.

Jesus. Who you ringin'?

Get dressed.
We're goin' out.

Oh, going out?
Where? We got no money.

Where we goin'?

Just get dressed.
We're going out, OK?

Get me my gun.
Get me my jacket. Quick.

Jesus. Where are we goin'?

It's 1:00.
This better be fuckin' good.

Neville? Loughnan.

- Jimmy!
- Yeah, he's just been here.

- Has he?
- Just left my place.

- Oh. Where's he fuckin' going?
- He's gone to Bojangles.

- Yeah, right. OK.
- Bojangles.

- Great! I'll get a jacket.
- Right.

Fuck Neville Bartos!

He couldn't have the fluff
knocked off a bloody cappuccino.

He's saying
that you're two-faced.

I'm not bloody two-faced.

Mate, the word is -
and I'm hearing it everywhere -

that you're working
for the cops.

Who says that?

Hey, I'm hearing it everywhere.

You've gotta look at the motives

behind the people
saying this stuff.

I'm not well liked, Ian.

Do you realise it's the world's
worst best-kept secret

that I'm giving you
bloody information?

You think that's it's us

running around, telling
people about this stuff?

I mean, that'd be sort of
counterproductive.

I like a smiling face,
Mr Downie,

and you know I like you,

but I'm an expert
at playing mind games.

I'll set my little traps

and I'll find out where the leak
is comin' from.

Chopper!

Hello, hello.

Good to see you, my friend.
You want drink?

No, no. That's alright,
mate. Thank you.

Let me buy you drink.
I have plenty money.

I buy you two dozen beer, huh?
Come on.

Later. Later. Alright?

- You won't forget?
- Thanks.

You want drink,
you come see me, OK?

Who's that?

Which one?

That fuckin' wog
character up at the bar.

Oh. That's just Sammy the Turk.

Really?

You wanna know
if she's got friends.

Yes, women like me very much
because I have a big dick.

What are you touching me for
all the time?

You a bloody homosexual
or something?

Why you scared?
I don't touch you.

I'm not scared, just don't
touch me, you bloody poofter.

OK! Where's your car?

- It's up there.
- Which one?

- Keep goin'.
- Where?

Hey! Is that gun, uh?

Yeah, it's a gun.
It's fuckin' pointed at you.

Now, whose team are you on?

What?

Whose...team...are you on?

Team? Footscray.

Fuckin' comedian too, are you?

Yeah. Funny.

Why'd you fuckin'
bring me out here?

What?

No, no, Chop,
you bring me here, huh?

You're fuckin' good, aren't ya?

Yes, I'm good.
I'm friend to you, yeah?

Yeah, you're a fuckin' friend,
aren't ya,

bringing me here in the middle
of the fuckin' night.

What for?

Hey!

What?

What's that mean?

You want English?

Speak fuckin' English!
It's Australia!

Fuck you then. That's English!

You alright?

Oh, fuck. Give us a look.

Oh, shit.

Are you alright?

Oh, fuck, I'm sorry, mate.

Jimmy! Jimmy!

Jimmy! Jimmy!

That fuckin' lunatic
just shot a bloke.

He just shot him
in the fuckin' eye!

- Don't fuckin' call out me name!
- Who's this bloke?

I don't know!
Shut the fuck up, Marcus!

I never fuckin' liked you!
Let me in the car!

- Calm down!
- Who's this bloke?

Let me get in.

- He shot him...
- Calm down! Fuck!

Now,
this character, right,

he's following me
around all night,

he's got his arm
around me all night,

he's buyin' me drinks, buyin'
me drinks, buyin' me drinks,

in my bloody company,
right here, all frickin' night.

I didn't know him. I didn't
know him from a bar of soap.

You know me,
I don't go outta my way

to befriend our ethnic cousins.

He's Turkish or something. I've
got enough on my plate as is.

So, yeah. Go on.

He wants to sell me this gun.

Right? He says he's got all
these guns in the car outside.

Well, I didn't have
ten cents on me, right?

But I don't think he had a gun
salesman's licence either.

I thought, "If he wants
to sell me a gun,

"I'll relieve him of it."

So we go outside.

He's very keen to get me into
this car park, mind you. Right?

So did you go outside with him?

Yeah. Uh...

So what happened was...
we go out to the car park.

Now, Bojangles has got
two car parks. Right?

Um, I head to the main car park.

And he pulls me up
and he says...

No, no, no. Chopper, this way.

This way. Over here. I park
over here. On this side.

Plenty guns. Very good guns.

I get a bit bloody
suspicious,

because this car park,

it's not very well lit,
it's pitch bloody black.

And I walk out there,
I'm following him,

and he stops dead...

..and he turns around...

..and he's lookin' over
my bloody shoulder.

This fuckin' prick is checking
for bloody witnesses, right?

All of a sudden, he turns
around and he says...

Wait. Wait, wait.

Chopper, you got gun?
You got gun, huh?

He's walking towards
me. "You got gun? You got gun?"

I said...

- Yeah, I've got a gun.
- What sort?

He says...

What sort? Huh? What sort?
Show me, please.

"Show me
your fuckin' gun."

He's dying to see
my bloody gun, right?

Now, I had the gun down
the front of my pants, right?

So I've lifted up
my bloody jacket.

I've looked down at my gun and
this cheeky little fuckin' rat,

he's grabbed the gun
as quick as lightning,

he's pulled it out
and he's put it at my head

and he's gone
click-click-click-click,

like this with the trigger.

But it's not goin' off.

It's a.32 automatic, right?

Now, as you fellas know,

unless you've got
the hammer pulled back,

it's not gonna go off -
it's inoperative.

You can pull the trigger
all bloody day long,

it's not gonna go off, you know?

Yeah. Sure, sure. So...

Well, what happened then?

So he's got the gun at my head.

He's going click-click-click.

And I have got the.410 shotgun
down the back of my pants.

So I pull it out.

Now, it's a tiny little
bloody.410 shotgun.

He's goin' click-click-click.

I'm thinking to myself, "Shit.

"It's only gonna take him
a couple of seconds

"to work this thing out
with the hammer."

So I've pulled out
the bloody.410

and I just go fuckin' bang.

And that was it.

He just bloody fell over.

Mark, what game are you playing?

Is this another one
of your little traps?

What do you mean?

I mean,
are you testing us?

You wanna see if we're
gonna go rushing off

to the Homicide squad
and dob you in?

What?

We know you didn't
shoot the Turk.

I just told you I shot the Turk.

They picked up
the bloke that did it.

What fuckin' bloke
that did it? I did it.

No, Homicide have picked up
the guy. Right?

They've even got
the murder weapon.

- What murder weapon?
- A.410 shotgun.

Yeah. This bloody.410 shotgun.

Put it away, Mark. Just
put the bloody thing away.

This thing, it's a.410.
Fine, it's a.410.

There's a fuckin' million
.410s out there.

That's not the.410 that did it.

You don't want this?

- It's a fuckin' murder weapon!
- Put the gun away.

Take it down to bloody Forensic!

How long have you been
on the go, mate?

"On the go, mate?"

The only one person at
this table on the go is you.

The fuckin' goey.
Where's the crust, mate?

Look at it.
You're off your dial.

I've never...

I don't think I've ever
been as bloody insulted

as I am right now.

I'm sittin' here confessing
to a fuckin' murder.

I've known you since I was
a fuckin' pup, right?

And you've got
the fuckin' audacity

to drag this cunt here...

Sort out your boy, will you?

And you look at me
like I'm a fuckin' idiot.

Mate, you're a bullshit
artist. Simple.

Homicide squad detectives...

I just saw on the TV
a man was shot at Bojangles.

I thought it was you.

Well, it couldn't be me,
could it?

Else I wouldn't be
bloody standing here.

No.

Used to be bloody Chopper Read.

Now I can't even get arrested
in this fuckin' town.

Did you do that?

Uh, would I do
a thing like that?

That's my boy.

One in the skull.

Fuck.

It took
those numbskulls two weeks

to finally get around to
sorting the whole mess out

and arresting me.

Turns out Mandy Carroll
was there that night.

Followed me and Sammy
out into the car park

and saw the whole thing.

What I seen
when the man got shot

was, like, um...like a flash
from the side of his face.

Like, um, yellow colours.

You know when you fire a gun
and you see the flashes?

Did you see a gun in
the Turkish man's hands?

The Turk was just standing.

He didn't have anything
in his hands.

He didn't have a gun. Nothin'.

He was just copping it sweet.

"Copping it sweet."

Yeah.

She'd turned
Crown witness against me.

Claimed that I murdered
the Turk in cold blood.

But what was she doing,

eight months pregnant,

bloody stoned off her tits,

down at Bojangles
at 6:00 in the mornin'?

Jimmy and the boys
will be in the car.

You help set up the big fella,
it'll make you a star.

They said they had it farmed
out. They had it ghosted.

But when I walked out the door,
they just left me posted.

The game was for real,
it was no lark.

But the twit took him out
to the wrong car park.

"Silly boys!" That's all
that Chopper had to say.

And poor little Sammy
got blown away.

The knuckleheads!

I could've shot 'em
in both kneecaps

and finished a game of cards

before this crew of retards
got their act together.

Look, I'd like to
thank my legal team

for all their hard work.

Uh, my solicitor, Mr Pat Hutton,

my barrister,
Mr Morris Jeffrey over here,

and Queen's Counsel
Mr Damien Collins.

It was their sterling,
bloody sterling, legal work

that helped me beat the charge.

I'm just bloody rapt.

Alrighty?

I beat the murder blue
on the grounds of self-defence

but I got five years
for malicious wounding...

..and other assorted
scallywag behaviour.

Now, I don't want to
put shit on myself, right?

But the shooting of Sammy the
Turk at Bojangles nightclub

is the most shit-pot
bloody non-event murder case

in Australian criminal history.

But for some reason,
I get all these bloody letters

from all over the world

and photos where
all these crackpots

have gone down
and taken photos of themselves.

I've got a letter here

from the sheriff of
Sparkes County, Nevada,

wishing I was there.

And have a look.

For some reason,
they go down and take photos.

Bloody South African
backpackers,

bloody funny-lookin'
homosexual...

How did he end up in there?
Jesus.

Housewives,

these bloody nitwits,
these young criminal wannabes,

spunky ladies with lingerie...

I mean, it's unbelievable.

I guess it's a case
of the old Chop-Chop

doing his bit for
Tourism Victoria, you know?

She's alright, Chopper.

Yeah, she's behind
the letter-writing protest

to the Governor.

Isn't she, boss, eh?

She'd be writing
a few letters of protest

if I ever got my hands on her.

Oh, really, Bucky?

Can I introduce you
to a friend of mine?

This is Bucky.
Get the camera over to Bucky.

Bucky, get over here.

Here he is, young Bucky.

Show her your tattoo, Buck.
Hoick it up!

'King Kong'. Why's he got that?

Voila! Copycat!

Isn't that bloody pathetic?

If you wanna be like
your Uncle Chop-Chop,

get them bloody ears off,
you fuck...

Oh, sorry!
Get them bloody ears off. Eh?

Get outta here.
They're interested in me.

Go on, piss off!
Get out! Get out.

Get the bloody ca... Hey, get...
Don't worry about Bucky!

Just get the camera over here.

What is this? Eh?
I haven't got all day!

Continue. Roll along.

OK, then.

So, how would you
describe yourself now?

Just a bloke.

Just a good bloke
down on his luck.

Well, you don't seem
out of luck to me.

You've written a bestseller.

Yeah, I know.

And I can't even bloody spell!

What about those
poor bloody academics,

those college graduates,

battling their guts out

to write some airy-fairy piece
of exaggerated artwork

and there's a bloke sitting
in a cell who can't spell

and he's written a bestseller!

It sold 250,000 copies

and it's still selling.

And he's writing another one!

And I can't even spell!

I'm semi-bloody-illiterate!

They must hate my guts, eh?

- So have you got all your stuff?
- Yeah.

What do you reckon? We
entering Logie country or what?

Jana Wendt, look out!

We can send you a rough cut
before it goes to air.

Nah, that's alright.

Look, anything I'd say would
just be bloody fiddling anyway.

I'm sure I'll be
very happy with it.

I'm sure it'll be
exactly what I want.

Absolutely.

Yeah? It'll be
very good, won't it?

- Yeah!
- Eh? Yeah.

'Bye.

Bye-bye!

He is Australia's
most feared criminal.

The self-styled crime commando

who terrorised,
tortured and murdered

dozens of drug dealers
and armed robbers

on the streets of Melbourne.

He is, of course,
Mark Brandon 'Chopper' Read.

Of course.

He is also a bestselling author.

And I can't even bloody spell!

... to get
this exclusive interview.

- Mark Read says...
- Have a look.

... he's committed 19 murders,

but he's only ever
been charged with one,

and he was acquitted of that.

Nevertheless, he's spent much
of his adult life behind bars,

the rest on the street,

disposing of what he calls
'human filth'.

Did you really cut
people's toes off?

My word, yeah.

Used to hit 'em
with the boltcutters

and they'd come good every time.

They love it.

They love it?

Well, they don't LIKE it.

I mean, they scream a lot,
but I like it.

Yeah, I like
cutting off their toes.

What did you like about it?

Oh, well, you know,
the way they just...pop off.

..you've got the money
and you're going to kill them,

so when do these
good manners kick in?

Oh, work it out!

... break the news to them
that their number's up?

Well, you say, "Look,
you've given me your money,

"you've been a good sport.

"I do apologise but
I am gonna have to kill you."

You really do all that stuff
that they were...

What?

All that stuff
you're saying on the telly.

Oh, yeah, well, look, you know -
you know me.

Never let the truth
get in the way of a good yarn.

You should come
and have a look one day.

I fancy
the 10 toes that I've got.

I'll keep them.

- You've got a nice foot.
- Thanks.

Unbelievable.

Smiling your little
pearly teeth at her.

She's lovin' it.

Oh, Chop-Chop,
give us your autograph, son!

Renee Brack with
that report from Pentridge.

And I get the feeling
that's not the last

we'll be hearing from Mark...

Too bloody right!
Too bloody right!

And I must point out

that Chopper Read was not
paid for that interview.

This program does
not pay criminals.

Bring it on! Give us more!
Give us more!

Where you going? Where...
Wh-wh-what's goin' on here?

Is that it?

- Is that it?
- How much do you want, mate?

Jesus Christ,
it's a television station.

They've gotta sell stuff.

Pretty good bloody publicity
if you ask me. Eh?

What's that gotta
be worth to me?

Worth anything, mate.
Worth anything.

Who needs to be bloody paid
when you get on prime...

That's bloody prime time,
this time of the night.

I come across alright, didn't I?

Yeah.

I tell you what, I reckon
I come across intelligent,

but...but tough.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, well.

Come on. We've got
some work to do, mate.

You alright for ciggies, mate?

Yeah, no, I've got heaps,
thanks, boss.

- Sweet. Sure?
- Yeah.

Alright. Catch you later.

Gonna have to shut
this door, Mark.

No, that's alright. I...I know.