All language subtitles for Ziegfeld.Follies.1945.1080p.WEB-DL.DD2.0.H.264-SbR.en

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:16,564 Ah! 2 00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,136 Saturday... 3 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:27,107 September 25th... 4 00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:32,913 Another heavenly day. 5 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:36,317 Ah, yes. 6 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:40,087 It's always a heavenly day. 7 00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:42,356 Every day is perfect. 8 00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,458 Nothing but happiness. 9 00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:47,961 Ah, yes, happiness, happiness, happiness. 10 00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:53,000 I have everything that any man or angel could desire: 11 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,336 Beautiful memories of the past, 12 00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:58,205 pictures, toys... 13 00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:00,107 Ha ha! 14 00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:01,875 Toys. 15 00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:05,446 Children play with the dreams of tomorrow... 16 00:04:05,513 --> 00:04:10,050 And old men play with memories of yesterday. 17 00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:11,619 Broadway. 18 00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:14,388 Ah, Broadway. I can see it yet. 19 00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:17,358 The Broadway of 1907. 20 00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:19,527 The Broadway that was waiting for me. 21 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,763 An innocent world believing in a golden future, 22 00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:26,534 full of peace and laughter and beautiful girls. 23 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,237 And here's the theater where my first follies opened. 24 00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:32,172 As I look at that theater now, 25 00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:33,774 it's all mine forever. 26 00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:37,511 No taxes, no bills, and no competitors. 27 00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,680 There they are, my first public 28 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:43,183 the high and mighty and the hoi-polloi. 29 00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:45,653 And here they're all mine. 30 00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:48,522 Eternal toys that never grow older. 31 00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:51,992 Look at Mrs. Astor in her beautiful carriage 32 00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:53,494 with her famous horse. 33 00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:56,196 Much more famous that night than Ziegfeld. 34 00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:59,800 And didn't the horse know it! 35 00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:02,436 (Whinnies) 36 00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:04,538 And diamond Jim Brady, 37 00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:07,941 with no horse, but what a filly inside the car. 38 00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:11,545 There they are an old New York first-night audience. 39 00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,280 The judge and the jury. 40 00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:14,782 What have you got, Mr. Ziegfeld? 41 00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:17,150 Show us your magic if you dare. 42 00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:18,619 Make us dream if you can. 43 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:21,622 What have you got, Mr. Ziegfeld? 44 00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:30,631 Anna held hourglass girls. 45 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:33,701 (Orchestra plays it's delightful to be married) 46 00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:03,831 Thank you, Mrs. Astor. 47 00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:07,535 I can pretend all my great stars never grew older, 48 00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:12,039 are still dancing and singing as they did years ago. 49 00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:14,675 Marilyn Miller. 50 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,516 Fanny Brice. 51 00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:25,619 ♪ Look at me, oh, look at me ♪ 52 00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:29,122 ♪ I'm an Indian, aha, I'm an Indian ♪ 53 00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:33,594 Will Rogers. 54 00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:36,697 Well, uh... What'll I talk about? 55 00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,866 I ain't got anything to say that's funny. 56 00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:41,101 All I know is what I read in the paper. 57 00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:42,703 Eddie cantor. 58 00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:45,906 ♪ If you knew Susie like I know Susie ♪ 59 00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:46,907 ♪ Oh! 60 00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:47,975 Oh! 61 00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:49,176 Oh, what a girl ♪ 62 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:52,245 ♪ There's none so classy as this fair Lassie ♪ 63 00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:53,246 ♪ Oh! 64 00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:54,448 Oh! 65 00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,049 Holy Moses, what a chassis ♪ 66 00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:58,886 ♪ We went riding, she didn't balk ♪ 67 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:02,490 ♪ Back from yonkers, I'm the one who had to walk ♪ 68 00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:05,459 ♪ If you knew Susie like I know Susie ♪ 69 00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:06,527 ♪ Oh! 70 00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:10,531 Oh, what a girl ♪ 71 00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:12,500 I can hear the applause 72 00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:16,369 as if it hadn't disappeared into the past. 73 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,539 The New York night still burns for me 74 00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:21,642 with the names I branded into the sky. 75 00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:25,913 Great shows that were part of the dreams of America. 76 00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:27,848 How many millions of people today 77 00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,950 remember their courtships, their honeymoons, 78 00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:33,186 their anniversaries, their happiest moments, 79 00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:35,823 in terms of a Ziegfeld show. 80 00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:40,160 The world will never forget the Ziegfeld follies. 81 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:55,308 Ah, those were the good old days. 82 00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,745 And yet, I wonder... 83 00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:01,348 Are those days really over? 84 00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:03,784 Just because I moved up here, 85 00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:06,453 did the follies have to die, too? 86 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:11,491 Couldn't there be a new follies? 87 00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:14,294 No. No, I suppose not. 88 00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:15,729 After all, 89 00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:18,198 how could there be a Ziegfeld follies 90 00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:20,267 without Ziegfeld? 91 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:26,239 What I would give to be able to put on one more follies. 92 00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:27,875 Yes. 93 00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:31,011 So many personalities down there to choose from... 94 00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:33,647 Great personalities from my day 95 00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:37,484 and great ones that have come up since. 96 00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:40,320 How would I open? 97 00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,422 Let's see... 98 00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:47,260 Uh...I'd like a crayon and paper. 99 00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:48,896 Thank you. 100 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:52,299 I think I'd open with a pink number. 101 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,802 Yes! A beautiful pink number 102 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:58,906 with beautiful pink-and-white blue-eyed girls. 103 00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:03,310 Yes, and maybe to introduce the whole thing... 104 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:07,514 Well, who would be better than my old friend Fred Astaire? 105 00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,149 A great star, Freddie. 106 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:12,385 Ho ho, I'd be taking no chances with him. 107 00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:17,591 And I know Freddie would say something very nice about me. 108 00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:19,860 What can I say about Ziegfeld? 109 00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:22,696 Well, I can only tell you that as long as there's a dance, 110 00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:25,699 a song, a musical show, and it's good... 111 00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:29,069 Somewhere around or in it is Ziegfeld. 112 00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:33,674 He never cared so much about villains, plots, stories. 113 00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:35,676 The follies never had a story. 114 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:38,912 The Ziegfeld follies was itself a story of an era. 115 00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:42,750 If it was gay, bright, beautiful... 116 00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,718 That's how Ziggy wanted it. 117 00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,520 And, oh, I almost forgot. 118 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,089 The girls. 119 00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:52,159 Ziggy was a specialist at glorifying girls. 120 00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:53,827 That's one of the most important things 121 00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:56,163 about the follies, you know. 122 00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:57,631 So... 123 00:09:57,698 --> 00:10:00,934 ♪ Here's to the beautiful ladies ♪ 124 00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:04,772 ♪ Here's to those wonderful girls ♪ 125 00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:08,208 ♪ Adeles and Mollys, Luciles and Pollys ♪ 126 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:12,813 ♪ You'll find them all in the Ziegfeld follies ♪ 127 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:16,049 ♪ Here's to the silks and the satins ♪ 128 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:19,853 ♪ Here's to the diamonds and pearls ♪ 129 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:23,590 ♪ This is the mixture to start the picture ♪ 130 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:27,227 ♪ So bring on the beautiful girls ♪ 131 00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:46,814 ♪ Here's to the silks and the satins ♪ 132 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:50,617 ♪ Here's to the diamonds and pearls ♪ 133 00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:54,054 ♪ A sweet endeavor, a joy forever ♪ 134 00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:58,325 ♪ So bring on the beautiful girls ♪ 135 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:27,815 Chorus ♪ here's to the beautiful ladies ♪ 136 00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:35,122 ♪ Here's to those wonderful girls ♪ 137 00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:43,030 ♪ Adeles and Mollys, Luciles and Pollys ♪ 138 00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:47,034 ♪ You'll find them all 139 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:52,339 in the Ziegfeld follies ♪ 140 00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:58,111 ♪ Here's to the silks and the satins ♪ 141 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:05,785 ♪ Here's to the diamonds and pearls ♪ 142 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:13,393 ♪ A joy forever, a sweet endeavor ♪ 143 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:21,168 ♪ To bring on the beautiful girls ♪ 144 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,388 (Whip cracks) 145 00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:51,891 ♪ This is the mixture to start the picture ♪ 146 00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:58,098 ♪ So bring on the beautiful girls ♪ 147 00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:13,813 (william tell overture plays) 148 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:17,484 Whoa! 149 00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:21,254 ♪ All this yap-yap-yap about glorifyin' dames ♪ 150 00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,356 ♪ Leaves me like a cold potato ♪ 151 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:29,162 ♪ I'd much rather be with a handsome he ♪ 152 00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:34,301 ♪ Like Van Johnson, who's a real tomato ♪ 153 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,036 ♪ Or a date with Fred MacMurray ♪ 154 00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:37,904 ♪ You can bet your life I'd hurry ♪ 155 00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:40,373 ♪ And a guy like Mischa Auer ♪ 156 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:45,212 ♪ Has me completely in his power ♪ 157 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:49,116 ♪ In fact, most any man I see ♪ 158 00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:54,687 ♪ Is the only man for me ♪ 159 00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:56,789 Whee! 160 00:15:56,856 --> 00:16:00,060 ♪ Bring on those wonderful men ♪ 161 00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:03,196 ♪ Bring me an elegant guy ♪ 162 00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:04,931 ♪ A soldier or Sailor ♪ 163 00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:06,466 ♪ A gable or Taylor ♪ 164 00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:10,003 ♪ A short or a tall one, I just wanna call one ♪ 165 00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:13,340 ♪ My own private wonderful he ♪ 166 00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:16,943 ♪ Bring what you can to me ♪ 167 00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:20,080 ♪ Bring me a guy to pin up ♪ 168 00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:23,150 ♪ Bring me a prince on a horse ♪ 169 00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:26,253 ♪ A dark or a light one, I just wanna sight one ♪ 170 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:29,289 ♪ Who'd call me his missus and give with the kisses ♪ 171 00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:32,925 ♪ I'm afraid I've a terrible yen ♪ 172 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,563 ♪ For those wonderful m-e-n ♪ 173 00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:39,032 ♪ Amor, amor ♪ 174 00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:42,969 ♪ There must be someone for me, but what's he waitin' for ♪ 175 00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:45,572 ♪ No hope, no soap ♪ 176 00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:49,242 ♪ If he don't appear I fear I'm at the end of my rope ♪ 177 00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:53,246 ♪ Oh, bring on a male who ain't frail ♪ 178 00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:56,349 ♪ Bring on a man from a cave ♪ 179 00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:59,119 ♪ Someone to relax with and pay income tax with ♪ 180 00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:02,455 ♪ And though he's from hunger, I'm not gettin' younger ♪ 181 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:05,958 ♪ And I'd like to get on with my plan ♪ 182 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:10,130 ♪ To glorify the American man ♪ 183 00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:14,201 ♪ I know the men are few ♪ 184 00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:18,271 ♪ But what's a gal to do ♪ 185 00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:22,775 ♪ I'll get a man before I'm through ♪ 186 00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:23,776 Hey! 187 00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:27,414 You in the third row. 188 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:32,385 ♪ Bring on those wonderful men ♪ 189 00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:21,448 (Whistling) 190 00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:28,955 Oh, ho ho, could you tell me where the telephone is, please? 191 00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:32,992 Oh, thank you. 192 00:21:33,059 --> 00:21:35,595 (Whistling) 193 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,701 Say, could you tell... 194 00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:51,578 - Number, please. - Oh, operator, 195 00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:56,015 I would like Plaza 5-5597, please. 196 00:21:56,082 --> 00:21:58,351 Plaza 5-5597? 197 00:21:58,418 --> 00:21:59,619 One moment, please. 198 00:21:59,686 --> 00:22:01,153 Thank you. 199 00:22:01,220 --> 00:22:02,589 (Whistling) 200 00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,557 - Man hello. - Oh, hello, Louie? 201 00:22:04,624 --> 00:22:06,125 (Angry) What number you want? 202 00:22:06,192 --> 00:22:08,695 Uh, Plaza 5-5597. 203 00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:13,400 Well, this is Morningside 3-3333. 204 00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:14,534 Oh, I'm terribly sorry. 205 00:22:14,601 --> 00:22:16,235 Aw, drop dead, will ya?! 206 00:22:16,302 --> 00:22:17,404 (Click) 207 00:22:17,470 --> 00:22:22,709 Yeah, I'll... I'll do that. 208 00:22:22,775 --> 00:22:24,411 - Operator? - Number, please. 209 00:22:24,477 --> 00:22:25,978 Oh, operator, you got me the wrong number. 210 00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:30,049 I wanted Plaza 5-5597, and you got me... 211 00:22:30,116 --> 00:22:31,283 One moment, please. 212 00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:33,085 I'll get you the complaint department. 213 00:22:33,152 --> 00:22:34,554 Oh, you don't have to get me the complaint depart... 214 00:22:34,621 --> 00:22:36,288 Hello, complaint department? 215 00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:37,490 New operator complaint department. 216 00:22:37,557 --> 00:22:39,058 Oh, hello, Beth, how are you? 217 00:22:39,125 --> 00:22:40,326 Boy, have I got a head. 218 00:22:40,393 --> 00:22:41,461 Hitler should have such a head. 219 00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:42,595 Went to the strand last night. 220 00:22:42,662 --> 00:22:43,963 Saw that cute Van Johnson... 221 00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:45,264 Thirty seconds over Japan. 222 00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:46,566 Oh, did you like that picture? 223 00:22:46,633 --> 00:22:47,967 I liked that where the airplanes went over 224 00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:50,136 and dropped...There was a fella had one leg. 225 00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:53,005 - Handsome, brave. - Van Johnson's just divine. 226 00:22:53,072 --> 00:22:55,307 Operator! 227 00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:57,343 (Irked) Hmm! 228 00:22:57,410 --> 00:22:58,511 Number, please. 229 00:22:58,578 --> 00:23:00,046 Operator, believe me when I tell you 230 00:23:00,112 --> 00:23:03,249 that you don't have to get me the complaint department. 231 00:23:03,315 --> 00:23:05,251 I can spare that extra nickel. 232 00:23:05,317 --> 00:23:09,489 I just want Plaza 5-5597. 233 00:23:09,556 --> 00:23:12,725 Plaza 5-5597? 234 00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:14,427 - Yes. - One moment, please. 235 00:23:14,494 --> 00:23:17,196 Thank you. 236 00:23:17,263 --> 00:23:18,565 Oh, hello, Louie? 237 00:23:18,631 --> 00:23:19,632 Recording when you hear the tone, 238 00:23:19,699 --> 00:23:21,300 the time will be exactly 239 00:23:21,367 --> 00:23:25,171 33 1/3 seconds past 10. 240 00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,807 (Loud, deep tone) 241 00:23:32,579 --> 00:23:34,380 (Clicks receiver) 242 00:23:34,447 --> 00:23:36,382 - Operator. - Number, please. 243 00:23:36,449 --> 00:23:40,820 Operator, all I want is Plaza 5-5597. 244 00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:42,855 Now, that's Louie Sebastian's cigar store. 245 00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:45,257 It's right around the corner. 246 00:23:45,324 --> 00:23:46,893 I could walk there. 247 00:23:46,959 --> 00:23:49,496 I don't want the world with a fence around it. 248 00:23:49,562 --> 00:23:53,500 All I want is Plaza 5-5597. 249 00:23:53,566 --> 00:23:56,035 Plaza 5-5597? 250 00:23:56,102 --> 00:23:57,269 One moment, please. 251 00:23:57,336 --> 00:23:59,438 Thank you. 252 00:23:59,506 --> 00:24:01,474 Hello, Louie? 253 00:24:01,541 --> 00:24:02,742 Barbershop quartet ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ 254 00:24:02,809 --> 00:24:04,410 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 255 00:24:04,477 --> 00:24:08,548 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Mr. Bushy Mendel Horgenforth III ♪ 256 00:24:08,615 --> 00:24:14,420 ♪ No knife can cut our love in two ♪ 257 00:24:14,487 --> 00:24:19,492 ♪ Good evening, friends ♪ 258 00:24:19,559 --> 00:24:20,560 (southern drawl) Uh, pardon me, sir. 259 00:24:20,627 --> 00:24:24,296 Oh, I'm terribly sorry. 260 00:24:24,363 --> 00:24:25,798 (Drawling) Hi, operator? 261 00:24:25,865 --> 00:24:27,099 Operator, sweetly number, please. 262 00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:28,501 Say, operator, 263 00:24:28,568 --> 00:24:30,436 I'd like to talk to colonel Culpepper 264 00:24:30,503 --> 00:24:32,338 at the magnolia manor plantation 265 00:24:32,404 --> 00:24:33,673 in Сhattanooga, Tennessee. 266 00:24:33,740 --> 00:24:35,341 Chattanooga, Tennessee! 267 00:24:35,407 --> 00:24:37,510 Hello? Colonel Culpepper? 268 00:24:37,577 --> 00:24:38,911 Uh, hi, cul! 269 00:24:38,978 --> 00:24:41,548 Say, cul, Willie Mae says why don't y'all 270 00:24:41,614 --> 00:24:43,415 drop over for the weekend 271 00:24:43,482 --> 00:24:44,551 and bring Mrs. Culpepper 272 00:24:44,617 --> 00:24:45,818 and all the kids with y'all. 273 00:24:45,885 --> 00:24:48,555 After all, y'all only live once. 274 00:24:48,621 --> 00:24:49,822 - Why, sure! - Uh-huh. 275 00:24:49,889 --> 00:24:55,327 Uh-huh! Well, so long, y'all. 276 00:24:55,394 --> 00:24:58,030 It's been a real pleasure, sir. 277 00:25:04,103 --> 00:25:07,439 Look, operator! 278 00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:10,543 (Drawling) I'd, uh, kinda 279 00:25:10,610 --> 00:25:14,146 like Plaza 5-5597, please. 280 00:25:14,213 --> 00:25:15,848 Why, sure 'nuff, honey Chile. 281 00:25:19,285 --> 00:25:20,519 Hello, Louie? 282 00:25:20,587 --> 00:25:24,824 (Man shouting in Chinese) 283 00:25:24,891 --> 00:25:28,094 (Click) Man chung guff! 284 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,463 Chung...Guff. 285 00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:32,565 (Bellowing) Look, operator! 286 00:25:32,632 --> 00:25:34,066 Number, please. 287 00:25:34,133 --> 00:25:35,167 I would like 288 00:25:35,234 --> 00:25:39,505 Plaza 5-5597. 289 00:25:39,572 --> 00:25:41,373 Will you spell it, please? 290 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:42,575 (Whimpers) 291 00:25:42,642 --> 00:25:45,645 Plaza! "P" for Plaza, 292 00:25:45,712 --> 00:25:47,246 "I" for Louie, 293 00:25:47,313 --> 00:25:48,314 "a" for annoying, 294 00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:50,416 "z" for Xavier cugat, 295 00:25:50,482 --> 00:25:53,385 "a" for Anaheim, Azusa, Cucamonga... 296 00:25:53,452 --> 00:25:57,456 5-5597! 297 00:25:57,523 --> 00:26:03,129 Westminster 2-2222? 298 00:26:03,195 --> 00:26:08,100 (Whistles) 299 00:26:08,167 --> 00:26:10,502 (Raving) 300 00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:14,807 (Sobs) 301 00:26:14,874 --> 00:26:16,542 - Operator? - Number, please. 302 00:26:16,609 --> 00:26:18,510 - Number, please. - Operator... 303 00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:21,413 Oper... 304 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,582 (Whimpering) 305 00:26:23,650 --> 00:26:26,218 (Sighs longingly) 306 00:26:32,859 --> 00:26:34,794 Hmm! 307 00:26:34,861 --> 00:26:36,262 (Cultured tone) Hello, operator? 308 00:26:36,328 --> 00:26:37,529 Number, please. 309 00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:40,366 I want to speak to sir Geoffrey Kirsten 310 00:26:40,432 --> 00:26:42,735 of the Frennessey Brandy Company, 311 00:26:42,802 --> 00:26:45,805 Capetown, South Africa. 312 00:26:45,872 --> 00:26:48,641 Uh, no, I don't know the number. 313 00:26:48,708 --> 00:26:50,677 (Mocking) Ooh, she don't know the number. 314 00:26:50,743 --> 00:26:51,978 Hello, porky? 315 00:26:52,044 --> 00:26:54,613 (Mocking) Hello, Por... 316 00:26:54,681 --> 00:26:56,983 Man hello? Hello, are you there? 317 00:26:57,049 --> 00:27:00,586 Is that you, Gwendolyn, my darling? 318 00:27:00,653 --> 00:27:02,454 Hello, porky. 319 00:27:02,521 --> 00:27:06,926 (Drops the cultured tone) You stink, you big baboon! 320 00:27:06,993 --> 00:27:11,063 And that goes for you, too, buster. 321 00:27:14,433 --> 00:27:17,003 (Whistling) 322 00:27:42,729 --> 00:27:43,796 (Sweetly) Hello, operator? 323 00:27:43,863 --> 00:27:45,765 Number, please. Number, please. 324 00:27:45,832 --> 00:27:47,967 Operator, I would like to speak to... 325 00:27:48,034 --> 00:27:53,873 Oogu in, uh, dumdum proper, south Transylvania. 326 00:27:53,940 --> 00:27:56,175 No, I don't know the number, 327 00:27:56,242 --> 00:27:59,645 and I don't know Mr. Oogu's first name. 328 00:27:59,712 --> 00:28:01,714 All I know is...Oogu. 329 00:28:01,781 --> 00:28:04,383 Just plain Oogu. 330 00:28:04,450 --> 00:28:06,685 One moment, please. 331 00:28:06,753 --> 00:28:10,022 (Sing-song accent) Hello, Oogu speaking. 332 00:28:13,025 --> 00:28:15,027 Look, Oogu, you won't remember me, 333 00:28:15,094 --> 00:28:18,430 but we met at a preview of Dorian Gray. 334 00:28:18,497 --> 00:28:20,632 Ah, sure, sure. 335 00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:24,636 Yeah, look, Oogu, I wonder if you would do me a favor. 336 00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:25,704 Ah, sure! 337 00:28:25,772 --> 00:28:27,539 Any friend of a friend 338 00:28:27,606 --> 00:28:29,075 is a friend. 339 00:28:29,141 --> 00:28:31,677 Oh, well, I'm glad you feel that way. 340 00:28:31,744 --> 00:28:35,782 Um, look, Oogu... 341 00:28:35,848 --> 00:28:39,819 Would you get me Plaza 5-55... 342 00:28:39,886 --> 00:28:41,353 Operator sorry, your three minutes are up. 343 00:28:41,420 --> 00:28:44,056 That'll be $94.45. 344 00:29:03,742 --> 00:29:06,312 (Lively waltz plays) 345 00:29:24,030 --> 00:29:29,668 ♪ Libiamo, libiamo ne' lieti calici ♪ 346 00:29:29,735 --> 00:29:33,105 ♪ Che la bellezza infiora ♪ 347 00:29:33,172 --> 00:29:36,843 ♪ E la fuggevol, fuggevol ♪ 348 00:29:36,909 --> 00:29:41,881 ♪ Or a s'innebrii a volutta ♪ 349 00:29:41,948 --> 00:29:46,018 ♪ Libiam ne' dolci fremiti ♪ 350 00:29:46,085 --> 00:29:49,889 ♪ Che luscita I'amore ♪ 351 00:29:49,956 --> 00:29:53,960 ♪ Poiche quell occhio al core ♪ 352 00:29:54,026 --> 00:29:57,529 ♪ Omnipotente va ♪ 353 00:30:00,366 --> 00:30:06,372 ♪ Libiamo, amore, amor frai calici piu ♪ 354 00:30:06,438 --> 00:30:09,208 ♪ Caldi baci avra ♪ 355 00:30:09,275 --> 00:30:13,712 Chorus ♪ ahh, libiam amor fra' calici ♪ 356 00:30:13,779 --> 00:30:16,382 ♪ Piu' caldi baci avra ♪ 357 00:30:24,123 --> 00:30:29,929 ♪ Tra voi tra voi sapro' dividera' ♪ 358 00:30:29,996 --> 00:30:33,900 ♪ Il tempo mi giocondo ♪ 359 00:30:33,966 --> 00:30:38,871 ♪ Tutti e' follia, follia nel mondo ♪ 360 00:30:38,938 --> 00:30:42,774 ♪ Cio' che non e placer ♪ 361 00:30:42,841 --> 00:30:46,612 ♪ Godiam fugace e rapido ♪ 362 00:30:46,678 --> 00:30:50,349 ♪ E il gaudio Dell' amore ♪ 363 00:30:50,416 --> 00:30:54,586 ♪ E un fior che nasce e muore ♪ 364 00:30:54,653 --> 00:30:58,090 ♪ Ne piu' si puo' goder ♪ 365 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:05,264 ♪ Godiam, c'invita, c'invita ♪ 366 00:31:05,331 --> 00:31:09,401 ♪ Un fervido accento lusinghier ♪ 367 00:31:09,468 --> 00:31:15,141 Chorus ♪ ahh, godiamo la tazza, la tazza ♪ 368 00:31:15,207 --> 00:31:19,078 ♪ E il cantico la notte abbella e il riso ♪ 369 00:31:19,145 --> 00:31:24,783 ♪ In questo, in questo paradiso ♪ 370 00:31:24,850 --> 00:31:28,020 ♪ Ne scopra il nuovo di ♪ 371 00:31:28,087 --> 00:31:32,191 ♪ Ia vita e' nel tripudio ♪ 372 00:31:32,258 --> 00:31:36,062 ♪ Quando non s'ami ancora ♪ 373 00:31:36,128 --> 00:31:40,166 ♪ Nel dite a chi I'ignore 374 00:31:40,232 --> 00:31:45,037 ♪ e il mio destin cosi ♪ 375 00:31:45,104 --> 00:31:47,339 ♪ Ah-ahh ♪ 376 00:31:47,406 --> 00:31:50,742 ♪ Godiamo la tazza, la tazza ♪ 377 00:31:50,809 --> 00:31:53,045 ♪ E il cantico ♪ 378 00:31:53,112 --> 00:31:56,282 ♪ Ia notte abbella e il riso ♪ 379 00:31:56,348 --> 00:32:01,720 ♪ In questo, in questo paradiso ♪ 380 00:32:01,787 --> 00:32:03,990 ♪ Ne scopra il nuovo di ♪ 381 00:32:04,056 --> 00:32:07,193 ♪ Ahh, ahh, ne scopra il di ♪ 382 00:32:07,259 --> 00:32:10,696 ♪ Ahh, ahh, ne scopra il di ♪ 383 00:32:10,762 --> 00:32:14,600 ♪ Ah, si ♪ 384 00:32:29,781 --> 00:32:31,517 Keep moving. Watch your step there. 385 00:32:31,583 --> 00:32:33,719 Step lively. Right this way, please. 386 00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:34,820 Step lively. 387 00:32:34,886 --> 00:32:37,456 Keep moving. 388 00:32:41,860 --> 00:32:42,961 Oh, excuse me. 389 00:32:43,029 --> 00:32:44,530 I beg your pardon. 390 00:32:44,596 --> 00:32:46,999 Now this property that we're going to look at 391 00:32:47,066 --> 00:32:49,735 is worth $190,000. 392 00:32:49,801 --> 00:32:52,104 He's asking $125. 393 00:32:52,171 --> 00:32:57,943 We'll offer him, uh... $55. 394 00:32:58,010 --> 00:33:00,812 We'll offer him $60 and settle for $75. 395 00:33:00,879 --> 00:33:01,847 Nothing doing. 396 00:33:01,913 --> 00:33:03,082 Why don't you leave the bu... 397 00:33:03,149 --> 00:33:04,116 Well, really! 398 00:33:04,183 --> 00:33:05,451 I'm sorry, all right. 399 00:33:05,517 --> 00:33:07,653 Why don't you leave the business end to me? 400 00:33:07,719 --> 00:33:09,788 - I...I... - Ooh. 401 00:33:09,855 --> 00:33:11,223 Eh, heh. 402 00:33:11,290 --> 00:33:13,592 Oh, e-excuse me, little girl. 403 00:33:13,659 --> 00:33:14,993 Madam. 404 00:33:15,061 --> 00:33:16,362 Now, listen, I'll get it for $50,000. 405 00:33:16,428 --> 00:33:19,098 - I'll save ya $25. - Never mind. 406 00:33:19,165 --> 00:33:22,834 If it's worth $150,000, I'll give him $75. 407 00:33:22,901 --> 00:33:24,236 No, $50,000. 408 00:33:24,303 --> 00:33:25,837 Now stop worrying about it, will ya? I'm your lawyer. 409 00:33:25,904 --> 00:33:26,972 Yeah, you're my lawyer. 410 00:33:27,039 --> 00:33:28,440 It'll be like the last deal. 411 00:33:28,507 --> 00:33:30,909 You were gonna save me $25,000, 412 00:33:30,976 --> 00:33:32,811 and I lost the whole deal. 413 00:33:32,878 --> 00:33:35,047 I could've made $200,000. 414 00:33:35,114 --> 00:33:37,816 You're my lawyer! 415 00:33:37,883 --> 00:33:39,585 Ptui! 416 00:33:39,651 --> 00:33:42,388 - Hey, what's the matter? - You're under arrest. 417 00:33:42,454 --> 00:33:44,990 - It ain't lit. - I said you were under arrest. 418 00:33:45,057 --> 00:33:46,092 What for? 419 00:33:46,158 --> 00:33:47,859 For expectoratin' in a subway. 420 00:33:47,926 --> 00:33:49,027 Now I gotta take you to court, 421 00:33:49,095 --> 00:33:50,496 and they'll fine you $2. 422 00:33:50,562 --> 00:33:53,399 Ooh, I...I didn't know what I was doing. 423 00:33:53,465 --> 00:33:56,202 Can't we settle this out of court? 424 00:33:56,268 --> 00:33:59,538 I'll give you the $2.00. 425 00:33:59,605 --> 00:34:00,672 Ok. 426 00:34:00,739 --> 00:34:06,245 Uh, uh, I got it right here. 427 00:34:06,312 --> 00:34:07,813 I...I haven't got it on me. 428 00:34:07,879 --> 00:34:09,014 He'll give you the $2.00. 429 00:34:09,081 --> 00:34:10,015 Give him the $2.00. 430 00:34:10,082 --> 00:34:11,250 I will not! 431 00:34:11,317 --> 00:34:12,618 Have you got any witnesses? 432 00:34:12,684 --> 00:34:14,986 How do you know he expectorated on the floor? 433 00:34:15,053 --> 00:34:15,987 Why, I saw him with my own eyes. 434 00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:17,356 Stop arguing. 435 00:34:17,423 --> 00:34:18,890 What's $2.00? Give him the $2.00. 436 00:34:18,957 --> 00:34:20,359 If we ain't uptown by 8:00, 437 00:34:20,426 --> 00:34:21,793 we'll lose the whole deal. 438 00:34:21,860 --> 00:34:23,462 You won't lose a thing! 439 00:34:23,529 --> 00:34:25,731 I dare you to arrest my client. 440 00:34:25,797 --> 00:34:27,099 Oh, a smart guy, eh? 441 00:34:27,166 --> 00:34:28,967 Yes, I never lost a case in my life. 442 00:34:29,034 --> 00:34:30,536 Well, we'll see about that. 443 00:34:30,602 --> 00:34:32,438 - Come on with me. - Pay him the $2.00. 444 00:34:32,504 --> 00:34:35,040 I'll break you for this, officer. 445 00:34:35,107 --> 00:34:37,676 Pay him the $2.00. 446 00:34:43,249 --> 00:34:45,317 The court finds the defendant guilty 447 00:34:45,384 --> 00:34:47,453 of expectorating in the subway 448 00:34:47,519 --> 00:34:50,722 and hereby fines the defendant $2. 449 00:34:50,789 --> 00:34:52,057 Or 30 days in jail. 450 00:34:52,124 --> 00:34:53,925 All right. Pay him the $2.00. 451 00:34:53,992 --> 00:34:54,993 Nothing doing. 452 00:34:55,060 --> 00:34:56,094 We'll appeal. 453 00:34:56,162 --> 00:34:57,763 Oh! Pay the $2.00. 454 00:34:57,829 --> 00:34:59,265 No, you're a businessman, 455 00:34:59,331 --> 00:35:01,667 and you can't afford to have 456 00:35:01,733 --> 00:35:03,435 a black Mark against you. 457 00:35:03,502 --> 00:35:05,337 We'll take it to a higher court. 458 00:35:05,404 --> 00:35:06,705 Judge take him away. 459 00:35:06,772 --> 00:35:08,607 Oh, please, pay the $2.00. 460 00:35:08,674 --> 00:35:12,411 Don't worry, I'll have you out of here in 20 minutes. 461 00:35:18,684 --> 00:35:21,119 How long have you been in here? 462 00:35:21,187 --> 00:35:24,556 I bet you've got the same lawyer I've got. 463 00:35:24,623 --> 00:35:26,358 Lawyer ♪ ta-ra-ra boom-de-ay ♪ 464 00:35:26,425 --> 00:35:28,093 ♪ Ta-ra-ra-ra boom-de-ay ♪ 465 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:30,095 ♪ Ta-ra-ra-ra boom-de-ay ♪ 466 00:35:30,162 --> 00:35:31,930 Hello, Victor. How are you? 467 00:35:31,997 --> 00:35:32,998 Where have you been?! 468 00:35:33,064 --> 00:35:35,167 I've been waiting here 12 days 469 00:35:35,234 --> 00:35:37,102 for you to get back in 20 minutes. 470 00:35:37,169 --> 00:35:40,206 Oh, now, Victor, don't be so impatient. 471 00:35:40,272 --> 00:35:41,440 I haven't very much time. 472 00:35:41,507 --> 00:35:42,508 I am in a bit of a hurry, 473 00:35:42,574 --> 00:35:44,009 but I couldn't help but drop by 474 00:35:44,075 --> 00:35:45,777 and give you the good news. 475 00:35:45,844 --> 00:35:48,380 The court has granted our motion for an appeal. 476 00:35:48,447 --> 00:35:49,481 Arggh! 477 00:35:49,548 --> 00:35:51,016 "Whereas my client, Victor Moore, 478 00:35:51,082 --> 00:35:52,584 "hereinafter known as the defendant, 479 00:35:52,651 --> 00:35:54,119 "is being sued by the city of New York 480 00:35:54,186 --> 00:35:55,321 for committing a public nuisance..." 481 00:35:55,387 --> 00:35:56,988 Don't mind that stuff. 482 00:35:57,055 --> 00:35:58,524 Just pay him the $2.00. 483 00:35:58,590 --> 00:36:01,126 I will not. I never lost a case in my life. 484 00:36:01,193 --> 00:36:02,528 Say, what are you trying to do... 485 00:36:02,594 --> 00:36:03,895 - Spoil my record? - No! 486 00:36:03,962 --> 00:36:05,063 All I'm trying to do 487 00:36:05,130 --> 00:36:06,332 is get out of jail. 488 00:36:06,398 --> 00:36:09,134 Won't you please pay him the $2.00? 489 00:36:09,201 --> 00:36:10,101 Nothing doing. 490 00:36:10,168 --> 00:36:11,570 You're going to appeal. 491 00:36:11,637 --> 00:36:13,372 And, by the way, I want you to know 492 00:36:13,439 --> 00:36:16,007 that I kept the accounts absolutely straight. 493 00:36:16,074 --> 00:36:17,576 What do you mean "accounts"? 494 00:36:17,643 --> 00:36:19,110 Well, it takes money to file an appeal. 495 00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:20,212 Well, pay the $2.00. 496 00:36:20,279 --> 00:36:22,013 No, no, it's too late. 497 00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:23,315 I've already filed my briefs. 498 00:36:23,382 --> 00:36:25,016 Now here are the accounts. 499 00:36:25,083 --> 00:36:26,785 Never mind. 500 00:36:26,852 --> 00:36:28,086 How much did you spend? 501 00:36:28,153 --> 00:36:29,988 Well, 3 stenographers for 10 days 502 00:36:30,055 --> 00:36:31,457 at $5 a day...$150. 503 00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:33,592 Well, that's for preparing the briefs. 504 00:36:33,659 --> 00:36:35,961 Now, $10 a day for taking the stenographers to lunch. 505 00:36:36,027 --> 00:36:38,897 What do you mean by taking stenographers out to lunch 506 00:36:38,964 --> 00:36:40,266 on my money?! 507 00:36:40,332 --> 00:36:42,468 Don't tell me how to live my life. 508 00:36:42,534 --> 00:36:45,103 Now then, $100 a day for 3 assistants. 509 00:36:45,170 --> 00:36:47,506 $5,000 to Walter Wilson. 510 00:36:47,573 --> 00:36:49,241 - For what?! - For an opinion. 511 00:36:49,308 --> 00:36:50,442 What did Wilson say? 512 00:36:50,509 --> 00:36:52,311 He said, "pay him the $2." 513 00:36:52,378 --> 00:36:54,713 $5,000 to barker, barker, barker & barker. 514 00:36:54,780 --> 00:36:57,115 What did barker, barker, barker and, uh... 515 00:36:57,182 --> 00:36:58,684 - Barker? - Barker. 516 00:36:58,750 --> 00:36:59,918 - What did they say? - Well, they said, 517 00:36:59,985 --> 00:37:01,387 "pay him the $2." 518 00:37:01,453 --> 00:37:02,421 And $5,000 to Jerry geisler for an opinion. 519 00:37:02,488 --> 00:37:03,589 What did geisler say? 520 00:37:03,655 --> 00:37:05,291 Geisler said, "pay him the $2." 521 00:37:05,357 --> 00:37:07,393 Seems to be quite a difference of opinion. 522 00:37:07,459 --> 00:37:08,760 Oh, wait, I'm not through yet. 523 00:37:08,827 --> 00:37:12,498 Now, there's $250 to my nephew for an opinion, 524 00:37:12,564 --> 00:37:14,266 $150 to my niece for an opinion, 525 00:37:14,333 --> 00:37:17,269 and $75 for my wife's opinion. 526 00:37:17,336 --> 00:37:18,270 Well, what are you bringing them in for? 527 00:37:18,337 --> 00:37:19,805 They're not lawyers! 528 00:37:19,871 --> 00:37:21,673 Well, everybody's entitled to their opinion. 529 00:37:21,740 --> 00:37:24,042 - Ohh! - Now comes my opinion. 530 00:37:24,109 --> 00:37:25,243 $3,000. 531 00:37:25,311 --> 00:37:27,379 Ah, but we're gonna win this case. 532 00:37:27,446 --> 00:37:28,380 We've got an Ace in the hole. 533 00:37:28,447 --> 00:37:29,681 We've got 4 witnesses. 534 00:37:29,748 --> 00:37:31,983 What, we ain't got no witnesses. 535 00:37:32,050 --> 00:37:33,118 Oh, yes, we have. 536 00:37:33,184 --> 00:37:34,286 Two are coming from Chicago, 537 00:37:34,353 --> 00:37:35,754 and two are coming from Detroit. 538 00:37:35,821 --> 00:37:40,058 And that makes the total expense to date, uh, 539 00:37:40,125 --> 00:37:44,062 $463,663.63. 540 00:37:44,129 --> 00:37:49,100 (Raving) Oh, for goodness sake, 541 00:37:49,167 --> 00:37:52,103 will ya pay the $2?! 542 00:37:52,170 --> 00:37:54,440 (Gavel pounds twice) 543 00:37:54,506 --> 00:37:56,475 It is the opinion of this court 544 00:37:56,542 --> 00:37:58,977 that the decision of the lower court be reversed. 545 00:37:59,044 --> 00:38:00,879 Reversed! Didn't I tell you?! 546 00:38:00,946 --> 00:38:01,880 Is that good? 547 00:38:01,947 --> 00:38:03,582 Silence! 548 00:38:03,649 --> 00:38:06,985 As a result of the defendant's behavior in the subway, 549 00:38:07,052 --> 00:38:08,787 a deadly germ was spread, 550 00:38:08,854 --> 00:38:11,289 which caused the death of 2 citizens. 551 00:38:11,357 --> 00:38:13,325 We therefore find the defendant guilty 552 00:38:13,392 --> 00:38:15,627 of murder in the first degree, 553 00:38:15,694 --> 00:38:18,263 and the defendant is hereby sentenced 554 00:38:18,330 --> 00:38:20,399 to the punishment of death. 555 00:38:20,466 --> 00:38:21,667 Your honor, we appeal! 556 00:38:21,733 --> 00:38:25,203 (Whimpering) Oh, pay him the $2. 557 00:38:25,270 --> 00:38:27,873 Give 'em each $2. 558 00:38:43,755 --> 00:38:47,359 Victor, you have only a few hours left to live. 559 00:38:47,426 --> 00:38:48,627 Nonsense. 560 00:38:48,694 --> 00:38:50,762 I've got this case all sewed up. 561 00:38:50,829 --> 00:38:52,664 You've got nothing to worry about. 562 00:38:52,731 --> 00:38:55,300 I had the governor on the phone all afternoon, 563 00:38:55,367 --> 00:38:57,503 and the pardon will be here any minute. 564 00:38:57,569 --> 00:38:59,405 What would you like for dinner, Victor? 565 00:38:59,471 --> 00:39:01,306 This will be your last meal. 566 00:39:01,373 --> 00:39:04,175 You can order anything you want. 567 00:39:04,242 --> 00:39:05,343 I can have anything? 568 00:39:05,411 --> 00:39:07,178 Anything. 569 00:39:07,245 --> 00:39:08,179 Uh, you take the order? 570 00:39:08,246 --> 00:39:09,280 Yes, sir. 571 00:39:09,347 --> 00:39:12,017 Well, I'll have an order of toast. 572 00:39:12,083 --> 00:39:14,420 Uh, dry toast. 573 00:39:14,486 --> 00:39:18,223 Not the thin melba toast. 574 00:39:18,289 --> 00:39:20,025 Thicker. 575 00:39:20,091 --> 00:39:21,393 And, uh... 576 00:39:21,460 --> 00:39:24,362 A cup of cocoa... 577 00:39:24,430 --> 00:39:28,634 And some stewed prunes and cream. 578 00:39:28,700 --> 00:39:32,370 Uh, no, b-better leave out the cream. 579 00:39:32,438 --> 00:39:35,541 That's fattening. 580 00:39:35,607 --> 00:39:36,642 Aw, come on, Victor. 581 00:39:36,708 --> 00:39:38,410 Cheer up. Have a cigar. 582 00:39:38,477 --> 00:39:39,678 Didn't I tell you the governor 583 00:39:39,745 --> 00:39:41,246 would come through with the pardon? 584 00:39:41,312 --> 00:39:43,882 Ha ha! Arnold never lost a case. 585 00:39:43,949 --> 00:39:45,684 It's a good thing you had me as a lawyer, 586 00:39:45,751 --> 00:39:49,120 or you would've been a dead pigeon, sure. 587 00:39:49,187 --> 00:39:50,589 You're a lucky man. 588 00:39:50,656 --> 00:39:53,358 Yeah, I'm a lucky man. 589 00:39:53,425 --> 00:39:55,160 You ruined my business, 590 00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:56,495 you wrecked my health, 591 00:39:56,562 --> 00:39:58,530 you spent all my money. 592 00:39:58,597 --> 00:40:02,233 My wife left me because I'm an ex-convict. 593 00:40:02,300 --> 00:40:03,969 My children are disgraced. 594 00:40:04,035 --> 00:40:08,039 I'm a ruined man, and all because of you! 595 00:40:08,106 --> 00:40:10,141 You're a lawyer! 596 00:40:10,208 --> 00:40:13,979 Phooey! 597 00:40:14,045 --> 00:40:15,981 - You're under arrest. - What, again?! 598 00:40:16,047 --> 00:40:16,948 Pay him the $2. 599 00:40:17,015 --> 00:40:18,316 Don't worry, Victor, they can't... 600 00:40:18,383 --> 00:40:22,020 Please pay him the $2. 601 00:40:22,087 --> 00:40:25,691 Don't do a thing, Victor, till you hear from me! 602 00:40:55,854 --> 00:40:58,757 (Trumpet notes indicate voice) 603 00:41:07,432 --> 00:41:11,136 ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ 604 00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:44,215 ♪ Maybe it was the music ♪ 605 00:44:44,282 --> 00:44:48,153 ♪ Or the glamorous sky of blue ♪ 606 00:44:48,219 --> 00:44:51,556 ♪ Maybe it was the mood I was in ♪ 607 00:44:51,622 --> 00:44:55,393 ♪ Or maybe it was really you ♪ 608 00:44:55,460 --> 00:44:57,863 ♪ Really you ♪ 609 00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:05,971 ♪ This heart of mine ♪ 610 00:45:06,037 --> 00:45:11,743 ♪ Was doing very well ♪ 611 00:45:11,810 --> 00:45:16,481 ♪ The world was fine ♪ 612 00:45:16,547 --> 00:45:20,819 ♪ As far as I could tell ♪ 613 00:45:20,886 --> 00:45:25,824 ♪ And then quite suddenly I saw you ♪ 614 00:45:25,891 --> 00:45:30,996 ♪ And I dreamed of gay amours ♪ 615 00:45:31,062 --> 00:45:34,766 ♪ At dawn I'll wake up singing 616 00:45:34,833 --> 00:45:39,570 sentimental overtures ♪ 617 00:45:39,637 --> 00:45:43,508 ♪ This heart of mine ♪ 618 00:45:43,574 --> 00:45:47,913 ♪ Is gaily dancing now ♪ 619 00:45:47,979 --> 00:45:52,050 ♪ I taste the wine ♪ 620 00:45:52,117 --> 00:45:56,855 ♪ Of real romancing now ♪ 621 00:45:56,922 --> 00:46:02,727 ♪ Somehow this crazy world has taken on ♪ 622 00:46:02,794 --> 00:46:06,131 ♪ A wonderful design ♪ 623 00:46:06,197 --> 00:46:09,200 ♪ As long as life endures ♪ 624 00:46:09,267 --> 00:46:13,939 ♪ It's yours, this heart of mine ♪ 625 00:49:04,342 --> 00:49:08,046 Chorus ♪ this heart of mine ♪ 626 00:49:08,113 --> 00:49:11,716 ♪ Was doing very well ♪ 627 00:49:11,782 --> 00:49:15,020 ♪ The world was fine ♪ 628 00:49:15,086 --> 00:49:18,323 ♪ As far as I could tell ♪ 629 00:49:18,389 --> 00:49:22,727 ♪ And then quite suddenly I met you ♪ 630 00:49:22,793 --> 00:49:26,331 ♪ And I dreamed of gay amours ♪ 631 00:49:26,397 --> 00:49:32,037 ♪ At dawn I woke up singing sentimental overtures ♪ 632 00:49:32,103 --> 00:49:36,674 ♪ This heart of mine ♪ 633 00:49:36,741 --> 00:49:39,910 ♪ Is gaily dancing now ♪ 634 00:49:39,977 --> 00:49:43,281 ♪ I taste the wine ♪ 635 00:49:43,348 --> 00:49:46,584 ♪ Of real romancing now ♪ 636 00:49:46,651 --> 00:49:51,789 ♪ Somehow this crazy world has taken on ♪ 637 00:49:51,856 --> 00:49:54,292 ♪ A wonderful design ♪ 638 00:49:54,359 --> 00:49:57,095 ♪ As long as life endures ♪ 639 00:49:57,162 --> 00:50:01,666 ♪ It's yours, this heart of mine ♪ 640 00:52:01,652 --> 00:52:05,223 Chorus ♪ somehow this crazy world ♪ 641 00:52:05,290 --> 00:52:09,894 ♪ Has taken on ♪ 642 00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:13,964 ♪ A wonderful design ♪ 643 00:52:14,031 --> 00:52:18,068 ♪ As long as life endures ♪ 644 00:52:18,135 --> 00:52:20,905 ♪ It's yours ♪ 645 00:52:20,971 --> 00:52:26,911 ♪ This heart of mine ♪ 646 00:52:44,195 --> 00:52:45,330 Hello, operator? 647 00:52:45,396 --> 00:52:48,132 I just dialed a number. 648 00:52:48,199 --> 00:52:49,767 What? 649 00:52:49,834 --> 00:52:52,237 No outgoing calls? 650 00:52:52,303 --> 00:52:54,339 I mailed you a check yesterday. 651 00:52:54,405 --> 00:52:57,642 You'll positively receive it tomorrow. 652 00:52:57,708 --> 00:52:59,510 You'll leave the phone connected? 653 00:52:59,577 --> 00:53:04,915 Thank you. Please get me that number. 654 00:53:04,982 --> 00:53:06,150 Hello, is this the butcher? 655 00:53:06,217 --> 00:53:07,818 This is Mrs. Ederman. 656 00:53:07,885 --> 00:53:09,787 I gotta have two pound lamb 657 00:53:09,854 --> 00:53:11,922 chops right away for dinner. 658 00:53:11,989 --> 00:53:13,291 No meat? 659 00:53:13,358 --> 00:53:15,293 I mailed you a check yesterday. 660 00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:19,597 You'll positively receive it tomorrow. 661 00:53:19,664 --> 00:53:22,667 I'll get the lamb chops tomorrow. 662 00:53:22,733 --> 00:53:26,771 Thank you. 663 00:53:26,837 --> 00:53:28,306 (Ring-ring) 664 00:53:28,373 --> 00:53:30,708 I mailed you a... Oh, it's the door. 665 00:53:30,775 --> 00:53:32,543 Come in! 666 00:53:32,610 --> 00:53:34,078 - Mrs. Ederman? - Yeah? 667 00:53:34,144 --> 00:53:35,980 - A cablegram. - A cablegram? 668 00:53:36,046 --> 00:53:37,181 Yeah, from Ireland. 669 00:53:37,248 --> 00:53:38,383 Ireland, let me see. 670 00:53:38,449 --> 00:53:40,084 Who do I know in Ireland? 671 00:53:40,150 --> 00:53:41,919 I think you won the sweepstakes. 672 00:53:41,986 --> 00:53:43,153 "Congratulations. 673 00:53:43,220 --> 00:53:46,624 "Your ticket, number 44678, 674 00:53:46,691 --> 00:53:51,128 has been drawn in the Irish sweepstake." 675 00:53:51,195 --> 00:53:52,162 Ah. 676 00:53:52,229 --> 00:53:54,064 Here. I got no change. 677 00:53:54,131 --> 00:54:00,004 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 678 00:54:00,070 --> 00:54:01,606 I... I won! 679 00:54:01,672 --> 00:54:04,208 I won! Well, somebody, I won! 680 00:54:04,275 --> 00:54:05,476 Oy, monty! 681 00:54:05,543 --> 00:54:06,944 Monty! 682 00:54:07,011 --> 00:54:08,212 Hello! I won! 683 00:54:08,279 --> 00:54:09,347 Oy, Ireland! 684 00:54:09,414 --> 00:54:11,382 What a marvelous city. 685 00:54:11,449 --> 00:54:13,284 - Oy, is that you, monty? - Norma, is dinner re... 686 00:54:13,351 --> 00:54:15,085 Monty! I love you! 687 00:54:15,152 --> 00:54:16,887 Oy, monty, I love you. 688 00:54:16,954 --> 00:54:18,889 What's the matter? You been untrue to me? 689 00:54:18,956 --> 00:54:20,425 Yes...No. 690 00:54:20,491 --> 00:54:21,759 I mean, I just got a cable from Ireland. 691 00:54:21,826 --> 00:54:24,762 Monty, have I got a surprise for you. 692 00:54:24,829 --> 00:54:26,331 - What is it? - You know that ticket 693 00:54:26,397 --> 00:54:28,899 you bought on the sweepstakes? 694 00:54:28,966 --> 00:54:30,100 Well, it won! 695 00:54:30,167 --> 00:54:31,502 We won a steak? 696 00:54:31,569 --> 00:54:33,504 W-w-w-w-we won the sweepstakes? 697 00:54:33,571 --> 00:54:35,573 Yeah! (Wheezing) 698 00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:38,142 A g-g-glass of water, please. 699 00:54:38,208 --> 00:54:39,209 What do you mean, water? 700 00:54:39,276 --> 00:54:40,411 Champagne. 701 00:54:40,478 --> 00:54:43,047 We're rich. All our troubles are over. 702 00:54:43,113 --> 00:54:45,282 Dance! Do something! 703 00:54:45,350 --> 00:54:46,517 Oy, monty! 704 00:54:46,584 --> 00:54:48,252 We're rich! W-w-we're rich! 705 00:54:48,319 --> 00:54:50,755 We... 706 00:54:50,821 --> 00:54:52,823 (Wheezing) 707 00:54:52,890 --> 00:54:54,258 (Stammering) 708 00:54:54,325 --> 00:54:56,060 W-w-w-wait a minute. Wait a minute. 709 00:54:56,126 --> 00:54:57,862 Monty, don't go crazy yet. 710 00:54:57,928 --> 00:55:00,331 - Wait'll we get the money. - I haven't gone crazy, 711 00:55:00,398 --> 00:55:01,966 but something terrible has happened. 712 00:55:02,032 --> 00:55:03,801 What could be terrible when we won the sweepstakes? 713 00:55:03,868 --> 00:55:05,536 Listen, I met the landlord in the hall 714 00:55:05,603 --> 00:55:07,271 and had to pay him the month's rent. 715 00:55:07,338 --> 00:55:08,573 $45. 716 00:55:08,639 --> 00:55:10,107 What's the difference? We'll buy the house. 717 00:55:10,174 --> 00:55:11,275 But you don't understand. 718 00:55:11,342 --> 00:55:12,743 I only had 42.50. 719 00:55:12,810 --> 00:55:14,545 So to make up the extra dollars and a half, 720 00:55:14,612 --> 00:55:17,181 I gave the landlord the sweepstake ticket. 721 00:55:17,247 --> 00:55:20,585 So what? 722 00:55:20,651 --> 00:55:22,420 - What'd you say? - I gave the landlord 723 00:55:22,487 --> 00:55:25,089 the sweepstake ticket. 724 00:55:25,155 --> 00:55:26,557 Monty dear, 725 00:55:26,624 --> 00:55:28,526 you should drop dead. 726 00:55:28,593 --> 00:55:30,428 I'll jump out the window. 727 00:55:30,495 --> 00:55:32,262 Who stops you? 728 00:55:32,329 --> 00:55:33,197 If the landlord knows the ticket won, 729 00:55:33,263 --> 00:55:34,465 he won't give it back. 730 00:55:34,532 --> 00:55:36,066 But if he don't know, we'll get it. 731 00:55:36,133 --> 00:55:37,568 - Quick! - He's out in the hall. 732 00:55:37,635 --> 00:55:39,537 Get him! Get him! 733 00:55:39,604 --> 00:55:41,439 (Sing-song) Mr. Martin! 734 00:55:41,506 --> 00:55:43,173 Mr. Martin? 735 00:55:43,240 --> 00:55:45,342 Mr. Martin! 736 00:55:45,410 --> 00:55:47,111 Ah, come in, Mr. Martin. 737 00:55:47,177 --> 00:55:48,413 Funny. My wife was just 738 00:55:48,479 --> 00:55:49,814 talking about you. 739 00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:51,348 - Hello, Mrs. Ederman. - Oh, Mr. Martin, 740 00:55:51,416 --> 00:55:52,349 sit down. 741 00:55:52,417 --> 00:55:53,484 You look good. 742 00:55:53,551 --> 00:55:55,653 You look absolutely wonderful. 743 00:55:55,720 --> 00:55:57,488 Uh...Make yourself at home. 744 00:55:57,555 --> 00:55:59,123 Here, take an apple. 745 00:55:59,189 --> 00:56:02,259 You know, Mr. Martin, my wife is so superstitious 746 00:56:02,326 --> 00:56:04,495 - about that sweepstake ticket. - Ha ha! 747 00:56:04,562 --> 00:56:06,497 If you'll let me have it back, I'll give you 748 00:56:06,564 --> 00:56:08,365 -the $2.50 tomorrow. - Oh, if that's why 749 00:56:08,433 --> 00:56:09,900 you called me in, I'm going. 750 00:56:09,967 --> 00:56:11,602 I've got the ticket right here in my wallet, 751 00:56:11,669 --> 00:56:13,303 and that's where it's going to stay. 752 00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:14,939 No, no, Mr. Martin. 753 00:56:15,005 --> 00:56:17,608 You know, you never come around to see us. 754 00:56:17,675 --> 00:56:19,977 And we're always so glad to see you. 755 00:56:20,044 --> 00:56:23,414 Uh, why don't you make yourself comfortable? 756 00:56:23,481 --> 00:56:25,015 Go on, take off your coat. 757 00:56:25,082 --> 00:56:26,417 - Sure. - Take it off. 758 00:56:26,484 --> 00:56:28,052 It's hot in here, you know. 759 00:56:28,118 --> 00:56:29,286 Oh, it's so wrinkled. 760 00:56:29,353 --> 00:56:30,488 I could press it for you. 761 00:56:30,555 --> 00:56:32,356 Oh, thank you. 762 00:56:32,423 --> 00:56:34,358 Eeh, the pants is wrinkled, too. 763 00:56:34,425 --> 00:56:36,193 I could press the whole suit in a jiffy. 764 00:56:36,260 --> 00:56:37,361 Oh, no, never mind. 765 00:56:37,428 --> 00:56:38,463 Sure, take off your pants. 766 00:56:38,529 --> 00:56:39,730 Never mind the pants. 767 00:56:39,797 --> 00:56:41,265 If it'll make you feel more at home, 768 00:56:41,331 --> 00:56:42,867 - I'll take off mine. - No, no, no. 769 00:56:42,933 --> 00:56:43,801 Just press the coat. 770 00:56:43,868 --> 00:56:45,470 Do you know that I have a feeling 771 00:56:45,536 --> 00:56:47,271 that this ticket's gonna win? 772 00:56:47,337 --> 00:56:49,306 Ha ha ha ha ha! 773 00:56:49,373 --> 00:56:51,509 Pardon me, I don't feel so good. 774 00:56:51,576 --> 00:56:53,277 (Doorbell) Come in! 775 00:56:53,343 --> 00:56:55,145 Here, Mr. Martin. Sit down again. 776 00:56:55,212 --> 00:56:56,714 - Have an apple. - Oh, thanks. 777 00:56:56,781 --> 00:56:58,082 Cablegram, Mrs. Ederman. 778 00:56:58,148 --> 00:56:59,249 Congratulations! Thank you. 779 00:56:59,316 --> 00:57:01,886 Beat it. 780 00:57:09,460 --> 00:57:10,595 Ay! 781 00:57:10,661 --> 00:57:12,029 Why did he offer you congratulatons? 782 00:57:12,096 --> 00:57:13,898 - A relative died. - Oh, that's too bad. 783 00:57:13,964 --> 00:57:16,333 Yeah, it's terrible, ain't it? 784 00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:18,102 Now I'm gonna press your coat. 785 00:57:18,168 --> 00:57:23,340 Thank you. 786 00:57:23,407 --> 00:57:24,374 Monty. 787 00:57:24,441 --> 00:57:25,543 Monty, 788 00:57:25,610 --> 00:57:26,944 a London syndicate 789 00:57:27,011 --> 00:57:30,815 is offering us $25,000 for the ticket. 790 00:57:30,881 --> 00:57:33,751 And we ain't got the ticket! 791 00:57:33,818 --> 00:57:35,019 (Wheezing, stammering) 792 00:57:35,085 --> 00:57:37,888 Talk. Talk. Talk, talk. 793 00:57:37,955 --> 00:57:39,356 I...I...I...I... 794 00:57:39,423 --> 00:57:41,025 Don't say a word. Don't say a word. 795 00:57:41,091 --> 00:57:44,061 The trouble with you, you get too excited. 796 00:57:44,128 --> 00:57:46,764 Don't get excited! 797 00:57:58,308 --> 00:57:59,644 Don't get excited. 798 00:57:59,710 --> 00:58:01,345 Don't get excited. 799 00:58:01,411 --> 00:58:02,680 Hold yourself together. 800 00:58:02,747 --> 00:58:05,583 Don't go to pieces! 801 00:58:05,650 --> 00:58:10,220 Hold yourself together. 802 00:58:10,287 --> 00:58:16,126 - You all right? - Fine. 803 00:58:16,193 --> 00:58:17,194 What'll we do? 804 00:58:17,261 --> 00:58:18,328 What'll we do?! 805 00:58:18,395 --> 00:58:19,530 Let's tell him the truth. 806 00:58:19,597 --> 00:58:21,465 Maybe he'll give us half the money. 807 00:58:21,532 --> 00:58:23,768 Poison he'll give us. 808 00:58:23,834 --> 00:58:26,604 That's what's the trouble with you. 809 00:58:26,671 --> 00:58:28,338 You get excited. 810 00:58:28,405 --> 00:58:31,375 You go to pieces. 811 00:58:31,441 --> 00:58:32,777 I got an idea. 812 00:58:32,843 --> 00:58:36,747 If we get excited, he'll get suspicious. 813 00:58:36,814 --> 00:58:40,217 So we'll go in there, and we'll act very nonchalantly. 814 00:58:40,284 --> 00:58:41,719 You know, namby-pamby? 815 00:58:41,786 --> 00:58:43,788 - Pamby-namby? - See, like nothing happened. 816 00:58:43,854 --> 00:58:45,956 Wait, where's a cigarette? 817 00:58:46,023 --> 00:58:47,357 Here. Here. 818 00:58:47,424 --> 00:58:48,525 Put a cigarette in there. 819 00:58:48,593 --> 00:58:50,260 Now laugh. Laugh like you 820 00:58:50,327 --> 00:58:51,361 told me a funny story, 821 00:58:51,428 --> 00:58:53,363 like nothing happened. Laugh! 822 00:58:53,430 --> 00:58:54,632 Ha ha! Ha ha ha! 823 00:58:54,699 --> 00:58:55,800 Ha ha ha ha! 824 00:58:55,866 --> 00:58:58,368 Oh, monty. Ha ha ha ha! 825 00:58:58,435 --> 00:59:00,004 That was the funniest story. 826 00:59:00,070 --> 00:59:01,639 Ha ha ha! 827 00:59:01,706 --> 00:59:04,474 Tell it to him. Ha ha ha! 828 00:59:04,541 --> 00:59:05,976 Mr. Martin, my wife 829 00:59:06,043 --> 00:59:08,012 is so in love with that sweepstake ticket. 830 00:59:08,078 --> 00:59:10,715 Not that it means anything, just a whim. 831 00:59:10,781 --> 00:59:12,449 Mr. Martin, if that ticket did win, 832 00:59:12,516 --> 00:59:14,451 - what would you do? - I'd hop on a boat, 833 00:59:14,518 --> 00:59:18,155 go over to Ireland, and collect the money. 834 00:59:18,222 --> 00:59:20,124 Monty. 835 00:59:20,190 --> 00:59:23,193 Monty. 836 00:59:23,260 --> 00:59:25,730 Monty, it didn't work. 837 00:59:25,796 --> 00:59:27,632 We was too namby-pamby. 838 00:59:27,698 --> 00:59:29,399 Now, what'll we do? 839 00:59:29,466 --> 00:59:30,500 Honesty is the best policy. 840 00:59:30,567 --> 00:59:31,702 Let's tell him the truth. 841 00:59:31,769 --> 00:59:32,970 There must be an easier way. 842 00:59:33,037 --> 00:59:34,805 George Washington told the truth. 843 00:59:34,872 --> 00:59:36,340 Did he win a sweepstakes? 844 00:59:36,406 --> 00:59:37,908 Besides, this man is 845 00:59:37,975 --> 00:59:40,377 holding back our property. 846 00:59:40,444 --> 00:59:42,747 - Here, take this vase. - What for? 847 00:59:42,813 --> 00:59:44,615 Just a light tap, not hard. 848 00:59:44,682 --> 00:59:46,717 Just a little tap on his head. 849 00:59:46,784 --> 00:59:47,818 Don't break the vase. 850 00:59:47,885 --> 00:59:49,286 Why should I hit him? 851 00:59:49,353 --> 00:59:51,255 Say he tried to kiss me. 852 00:59:51,321 --> 00:59:52,256 Who would believe it? 853 00:59:52,322 --> 00:59:54,324 I can dream, can't I? 854 00:59:54,391 --> 00:59:55,559 Wait! 855 00:59:55,626 --> 00:59:57,494 I know how to get the ticket. 856 00:59:57,561 --> 00:59:59,429 I'll flirt with him. 857 00:59:59,496 --> 01:00:00,765 Oy! 858 01:00:00,831 --> 01:00:03,167 If I only had a sweater. 859 01:00:03,233 --> 01:00:05,770 I'll take this. 860 01:00:05,836 --> 01:00:08,639 I'll get that ticket, or my middle name ain't Violet. 861 01:00:08,706 --> 01:00:11,575 I'll captivate him. 862 01:00:11,642 --> 01:00:12,843 Am I captivating? 863 01:00:12,910 --> 01:00:14,779 I never noticed it before. 864 01:00:14,845 --> 01:00:16,647 Norma, I think you've got something there, 865 01:00:16,714 --> 01:00:18,215 but don't go too far. 866 01:00:18,282 --> 01:00:19,650 No. Just far enough 867 01:00:19,717 --> 01:00:22,286 to get the ticket. 868 01:00:29,660 --> 01:00:30,695 What's the matter? 869 01:00:30,761 --> 01:00:32,296 You hurt yourself? 870 01:00:32,362 --> 01:00:34,732 No. 871 01:00:34,799 --> 01:00:36,934 You know, Mr. Martin, 872 01:00:37,001 --> 01:00:42,072 I find life just too dull for words. 873 01:00:43,573 --> 01:00:44,608 Ain't you? 874 01:00:44,675 --> 01:00:45,609 What? 875 01:00:45,676 --> 01:00:47,477 All my life... 876 01:00:47,544 --> 01:00:49,079 All my life... 877 01:00:49,146 --> 01:00:52,216 I've been languishing away in this terrible flat. 878 01:00:52,282 --> 01:00:54,251 What's the matter? Is there something wrong 879 01:00:54,318 --> 01:00:55,786 with the plumbing? 880 01:00:55,853 --> 01:00:58,255 No. It's not that. 881 01:00:58,322 --> 01:00:59,824 It's my husband. 882 01:00:59,890 --> 01:01:02,192 He don't understand me. 883 01:01:02,259 --> 01:01:03,894 Oh! Is that so? 884 01:01:03,961 --> 01:01:05,495 Well, do you know, Mrs. Ederman, 885 01:01:05,562 --> 01:01:08,332 you're looking very attractive? 886 01:01:08,398 --> 01:01:10,400 You think so? 887 01:01:10,467 --> 01:01:12,036 Kootchie-kootchie-kootchie. 888 01:01:12,102 --> 01:01:14,905 Would you like to loll away the time? 889 01:01:14,972 --> 01:01:17,742 - Yes. - Shall I turn on the radio? 890 01:01:17,808 --> 01:01:19,409 - And we'll dance! - Yeah. 891 01:01:19,476 --> 01:01:21,178 And we'll have a good time. 892 01:01:21,245 --> 01:01:23,748 Ha ha! 893 01:01:23,814 --> 01:01:24,882 Can you do the jitterbug? 894 01:01:24,949 --> 01:01:26,583 Well, I'll take a chance. 895 01:01:26,650 --> 01:01:29,619 Ahh! Spanish, señor Martin. 896 01:01:29,686 --> 01:01:31,421 You know, my grandfather was a Spaniard. 897 01:01:31,488 --> 01:01:33,523 ¿Si? 898 01:01:33,590 --> 01:01:36,160 (Rumba music plays) 899 01:01:56,480 --> 01:01:59,016 (Changes to conga rhythm) 900 01:02:03,988 --> 01:02:05,722 So that's what you're up to, huh? 901 01:02:05,790 --> 01:02:07,024 The old badger game. 902 01:02:07,091 --> 01:02:08,625 Well, you'll not get away with it. 903 01:02:08,692 --> 01:02:09,994 I'll have you both arrested. 904 01:02:10,060 --> 01:02:11,962 Oh, please don't do that, Mr. Martin. 905 01:02:12,029 --> 01:02:14,064 I might as well tell you the truth. 906 01:02:14,131 --> 01:02:15,800 That ticket you got... 907 01:02:15,866 --> 01:02:17,267 Won the sweepstakes, 908 01:02:17,334 --> 01:02:21,671 and they're offering $25,000 for it. 909 01:02:21,738 --> 01:02:23,373 You mean this ticket won? 910 01:02:23,440 --> 01:02:24,441 It won! 911 01:02:29,746 --> 01:02:31,748 You're right, monty. 912 01:02:31,816 --> 01:02:35,920 Honesty is the best policy. 913 01:03:57,001 --> 01:04:01,138 ♪ Love can be a moment's madness ♪ 914 01:04:01,205 --> 01:04:05,075 ♪ Love can be insane ♪ 915 01:04:05,142 --> 01:04:07,744 ♪ Love can be a life 916 01:04:07,811 --> 01:04:13,183 of sadness and pain ♪ 917 01:04:13,250 --> 01:04:17,687 ♪ Love can be a summer shower ♪ 918 01:04:17,754 --> 01:04:21,491 ♪ Love can be the sun ♪ 919 01:04:21,558 --> 01:04:23,961 ♪ Love can be two hearts 920 01:04:24,028 --> 01:04:29,766 that flower as one ♪ 921 01:04:29,833 --> 01:04:33,837 ♪ It can be ♪ 922 01:04:33,904 --> 01:04:37,975 ♪ Fine and free ♪ 923 01:04:38,042 --> 01:04:41,912 ♪ But it's true ♪ 924 01:04:41,979 --> 01:04:46,150 ♪ It doesn't always happen to you ♪ 925 01:04:46,216 --> 01:04:50,587 ♪ Love can be a dying Ember ♪ 926 01:04:50,654 --> 01:04:54,291 ♪ Love can be a flame ♪ 927 01:04:54,358 --> 01:04:58,695 ♪ Loved pledged in September ♪ 928 01:04:58,762 --> 01:05:03,067 ♪ May be dead in December ♪ 929 01:05:03,133 --> 01:05:09,273 ♪ You may not even remember it came ♪ 930 01:05:10,874 --> 01:05:15,145 ♪ Oh, love can be a joy forever ♪ 931 01:05:15,212 --> 01:05:19,216 ♪ Or an empty name ♪ 932 01:05:19,283 --> 01:05:25,422 ♪ Love is almost never ever the same ♪ 933 01:05:39,503 --> 01:05:44,208 ♪ Oh, love can be a cup of sorrow ♪ 934 01:05:44,274 --> 01:05:48,045 ♪ Love can be a lie ♪ 935 01:05:48,112 --> 01:05:52,749 ♪ Love can make you wake tomorrow 936 01:05:52,816 --> 01:05:56,253 and sigh ♪ 937 01:05:56,320 --> 01:06:00,724 ♪ Love can be a snow-capped mountain ♪ 938 01:06:00,790 --> 01:06:04,261 ♪ Love can be the truth ♪ 939 01:06:04,328 --> 01:06:08,798 ♪ Love can be an endless fountain 940 01:06:08,865 --> 01:06:12,869 of youth ♪ 941 01:06:12,936 --> 01:06:16,940 ♪ It can be ♪ 942 01:06:17,007 --> 01:06:21,011 ♪ Ecstasy ♪ 943 01:06:21,078 --> 01:06:24,981 ♪ But that kind ♪ 944 01:06:25,049 --> 01:06:28,118 ♪ Is not so very easy to find ♪ 945 01:06:28,185 --> 01:06:33,690 ♪ Oh, love can be a tinkling cymbal ♪ 946 01:06:33,757 --> 01:06:37,194 ♪ Love can be a dirge ♪ 947 01:06:37,261 --> 01:06:41,231 ♪ Love may seem amusing ♪ 948 01:06:41,298 --> 01:06:45,235 ♪ A spark constantly fusing ♪ 949 01:06:45,302 --> 01:06:49,639 ♪ But it may end up by losing ♪ 950 01:06:49,706 --> 01:06:52,442 ♪ Its urge ♪ 951 01:06:52,509 --> 01:06:58,048 ♪ Oh, love can be a sweet endeavor ♪ 952 01:06:58,115 --> 01:07:02,186 ♪ Or a dirty shame ♪ 953 01:07:02,252 --> 01:07:08,392 ♪ Love is almost never ever ♪ 954 01:07:09,226 --> 01:07:15,332 ♪ The same ♪ 955 01:07:32,482 --> 01:07:36,653 (Radio broadcast signal beeps) 956 01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:40,290 This is the clumsy television broadcasting system. 957 01:07:40,357 --> 01:07:42,326 When you hear the musical note, will somebody call me up 958 01:07:42,392 --> 01:07:46,396 and tell me what time it is? 959 01:07:46,463 --> 01:07:47,831 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 960 01:07:47,897 --> 01:07:49,399 Lovely evening, isn't it? 961 01:07:49,466 --> 01:07:51,235 Wheel your mother-in-law close to the radio 962 01:07:51,301 --> 01:07:54,238 because this is the guzzler's gin program. 963 01:07:54,304 --> 01:07:56,473 Have you tried guzzler's? It comes in two sizes 964 01:07:56,540 --> 01:07:58,375 the college size and the jumbo elephant size. 965 01:07:58,442 --> 01:08:01,511 With guzzler's, there's no bad taste, no af... 966 01:08:07,584 --> 01:08:10,887 No bad taste, no after-effect, no upsetting the nerves. 967 01:08:10,954 --> 01:08:12,989 Just a nice smooth drink. 968 01:08:13,056 --> 01:08:15,292 Pour a little in your glass and drink it right down. 969 01:08:15,359 --> 01:08:17,794 But be sure and ask for guzzler's gin, 970 01:08:17,861 --> 01:08:20,397 a nice smooth drink. 971 01:08:29,239 --> 01:08:31,541 (Whistles through his teeth) 972 01:08:31,608 --> 01:08:33,310 Mmm! 973 01:08:33,377 --> 01:08:34,544 (Hoarse, rasping) Guzz... 974 01:08:34,611 --> 01:08:35,279 (Clears throat) 975 01:08:35,345 --> 01:08:36,680 Guzzler's gin, friends. 976 01:08:36,746 --> 01:08:38,615 (Clears throat) Drink a little after dinner. 977 01:08:38,682 --> 01:08:41,585 Drink some before, you won't have to eat any dinner. 978 01:08:41,651 --> 01:08:43,687 I'll be back in a moment with more from our sponsors. 979 01:08:43,753 --> 01:08:46,756 In the meantime, here is our guest star of the evening, 980 01:08:46,823 --> 01:08:47,957 Mr., uh... 981 01:08:48,024 --> 01:08:50,160 Mr., uh...Mm, mm. 982 01:08:50,227 --> 01:08:55,732 Subpoena. 983 01:08:55,799 --> 01:08:56,966 J. Newton numbskull, 984 01:08:57,033 --> 01:08:59,236 doctor of poetry. 985 01:08:59,303 --> 01:09:01,705 Thank you, thank you. 986 01:09:01,771 --> 01:09:04,140 My first poem 987 01:09:04,208 --> 01:09:06,843 "greetings..." 988 01:09:12,349 --> 01:09:14,684 My first poem algy. 989 01:09:14,751 --> 01:09:17,321 "Algy saw a bear, the bear saw algy, 990 01:09:17,387 --> 01:09:20,824 the bear was bulgy, 991 01:09:20,890 --> 01:09:24,361 the bulge was algy." 992 01:09:24,428 --> 01:09:25,629 And now back to our announcer 993 01:09:25,695 --> 01:09:30,867 and more from our sponsors, guzzler's gin. 994 01:09:30,934 --> 01:09:32,736 Thank you, newty. Thank you. 995 01:09:32,802 --> 01:09:34,838 Hmm-mmm. 996 01:09:34,904 --> 01:09:36,673 (Chortling) 997 01:09:36,740 --> 01:09:41,110 This is the guzzler's gin program you're looking at. 998 01:09:41,177 --> 01:09:42,178 Have you tried guzzler's? 999 01:09:42,246 --> 01:09:44,080 It comes in two sizes. 1000 01:09:44,147 --> 01:09:45,415 Get the college size. 1001 01:09:45,482 --> 01:09:47,484 One bottle, and you're 1002 01:09:47,551 --> 01:09:49,353 in a class by yourself. 1003 01:09:49,419 --> 01:09:52,889 With guzzler's there's no bad taste, no after-effect, 1004 01:09:52,956 --> 01:09:56,426 no upsetting the nerves. 1005 01:09:56,493 --> 01:10:00,464 Just a nice smooth drink. 1006 01:10:03,533 --> 01:10:05,569 Pour a little in your glass...Oh! 1007 01:10:10,374 --> 01:10:12,576 There goes my nails. 1008 01:10:12,642 --> 01:10:15,345 Pour a little in your glass and drink it right down. 1009 01:10:15,412 --> 01:10:17,814 But be sure and ask for guzzler's gin, 1010 01:10:17,881 --> 01:10:22,151 a nice smooth drink. 1011 01:10:22,218 --> 01:10:23,887 (Coughs) 1012 01:10:23,953 --> 01:10:25,355 (Sputters) 1013 01:10:25,422 --> 01:10:29,659 Oh, why can't I get an oatmeal program? 1014 01:10:29,726 --> 01:10:35,899 Guzzler's, a nice smooth drink. 1015 01:10:35,965 --> 01:10:39,703 Mmmmmhh! 1016 01:10:39,769 --> 01:10:44,073 (Sputters) 1017 01:10:44,140 --> 01:10:46,142 (Wheezes) 1018 01:10:46,209 --> 01:10:47,311 (Hoarse) Guzzler's gin, friends. 1019 01:10:47,377 --> 01:10:48,612 (Clears throat) 1020 01:10:48,678 --> 01:10:50,814 It comes in five... Uh, two sizes. 1021 01:10:50,880 --> 01:10:52,015 Two sizes. 1022 01:10:52,081 --> 01:10:53,850 Now back to our guest star 1023 01:10:53,917 --> 01:10:55,319 J. Newton numbskull. 1024 01:10:55,385 --> 01:10:58,922 Thank you, thank you, you drunken tramp, you. 1025 01:10:58,988 --> 01:11:00,023 Mm-hmm... 1026 01:11:00,089 --> 01:11:01,525 My next poem 1027 01:11:01,591 --> 01:11:06,396 "put 15 cents on number..." 1028 01:11:06,463 --> 01:11:09,633 My next poem the garters. 1029 01:11:09,699 --> 01:11:11,401 "I bought my girl some garters, 1030 01:11:11,468 --> 01:11:12,636 "at the local 5-and-10, 1031 01:11:12,702 --> 01:11:14,137 "she gave them to her mother, 1032 01:11:14,203 --> 01:11:16,906 that's the last I'll see of them." 1033 01:11:22,479 --> 01:11:23,713 And now back to our announcer, 1034 01:11:23,780 --> 01:11:27,951 who will sign off the guzzler's gin program. 1035 01:11:39,095 --> 01:11:44,334 Smo-o-o-o-o-o-o-oth. 1036 01:11:44,401 --> 01:11:45,935 Have you tried guzzler's? 1037 01:11:46,002 --> 01:11:49,539 It comes in 29 sizes. 1038 01:11:49,606 --> 01:11:52,275 With guzzler's you don't need a chaser. 1039 01:11:52,342 --> 01:11:55,845 Nothin' could catch it. 1040 01:11:55,912 --> 01:11:58,281 Save money, get the jumbo elephant size. 1041 01:11:58,348 --> 01:12:00,817 Only 25 cents a quart. 1042 01:12:00,884 --> 01:12:05,489 Return the bottle and get your 15 cents back. 1043 01:12:05,555 --> 01:12:10,827 Smo-o-o-o-o-o-o-oth. 1044 01:12:10,894 --> 01:12:11,761 (Gasps) 1045 01:12:11,828 --> 01:12:13,897 Thought it was my tongue hangin' out. 1046 01:12:13,963 --> 01:12:15,031 Heh heh. 1047 01:12:15,098 --> 01:12:17,967 Pour a little in your glass. 1048 01:12:24,508 --> 01:12:28,945 (Whimpering) 1049 01:12:29,012 --> 01:12:32,682 Smo-o-o-o-o-o-o-oth. 1050 01:12:32,749 --> 01:12:34,884 Pour a little in your glass... I'll get rid of it somehow. 1051 01:12:34,951 --> 01:12:39,055 Pour a little in your glass and drink it right down. 1052 01:12:53,603 --> 01:12:56,540 Smo-o-o-o-o-o-o-oth. 1053 01:13:09,018 --> 01:13:11,588 (Gong clangs) 1054 01:13:11,655 --> 01:13:14,558 (Chinese-themed music plays) 1055 01:13:32,576 --> 01:13:36,780 Cabaret singer ♪ in limehouse ♪ 1056 01:13:36,846 --> 01:13:41,117 ♪ Where orientals love to play ♪ 1057 01:13:41,184 --> 01:13:45,021 ♪ In limehouse ♪ 1058 01:13:45,088 --> 01:13:49,425 ♪ Where you can hear those blues all day ♪ 1059 01:13:49,493 --> 01:13:53,663 ♪ And they seem all around ♪ 1060 01:13:53,730 --> 01:13:58,434 ♪ Like a long, long sigh ♪ 1061 01:13:58,502 --> 01:14:04,373 ♪ Queer sob song... ♪ 1062 01:14:04,440 --> 01:14:06,610 (Carousing drowns out singer) 1063 01:14:06,676 --> 01:14:08,011 Singer on phonograph ♪ and everywhere we go ♪ 1064 01:14:08,077 --> 01:14:09,646 ♪ The people always up and stare ♪ 1065 01:14:09,713 --> 01:14:11,380 ♪ 'Cause when we're walkin' down the strand ♪ 1066 01:14:11,447 --> 01:14:12,982 ♪ We're such a lovely sight ♪ 1067 01:14:13,049 --> 01:14:14,818 ♪ And everything was simply grand ♪ 1068 01:14:14,884 --> 01:14:16,686 ♪ That is, until last night ♪ 1069 01:14:16,753 --> 01:14:18,387 ♪ He pinched me, he pinched me ♪ 1070 01:14:18,454 --> 01:14:20,356 ♪ He wouldn't let me be ♪ 1071 01:14:20,423 --> 01:14:24,160 ♪ I think he did it just to make me lose my dignity... ♪ 1072 01:14:34,203 --> 01:14:36,640 Street singer ♪ last night, down our alley came a toff ♪ 1073 01:14:36,706 --> 01:14:39,809 ♪ Nice old geezer with a nasty cough ♪ 1074 01:14:39,876 --> 01:14:43,379 ♪ Sees my missis, takes his caddy off ♪ 1075 01:14:43,446 --> 01:14:46,049 ♪ In a very gentlemanly way ♪ 1076 01:14:46,115 --> 01:14:49,485 ♪ Ma'am, says he, I have some news to tell ♪ 1077 01:14:49,553 --> 01:14:52,188 ♪ Your rich uncle, Tom of camberwell ♪ 1078 01:14:52,255 --> 01:14:55,792 ♪ Has popped off and really now, it ain't a sell ♪ 1079 01:14:55,859 --> 01:14:59,262 ♪ Left to you his little donkey shay ♪ 1080 01:14:59,328 --> 01:15:00,630 ♪ Wotcher! 1081 01:15:00,697 --> 01:15:01,931 All the neighbors say ♪ 1082 01:15:01,998 --> 01:15:03,800 ♪ Who ya goin' to meet, bill ♪ 1083 01:15:03,867 --> 01:15:05,434 ♪ Think ya own the street, bill ♪ 1084 01:15:05,501 --> 01:15:07,236 ♪ laugh? I thought 1085 01:15:07,303 --> 01:15:08,738 I would've died ♪ 1086 01:15:08,805 --> 01:15:11,240 ♪ Knocked 'im in the old Kent road ♪ 1087 01:16:26,816 --> 01:16:28,685 Cabaret singer ♪ oh, limehouse kid ♪ 1088 01:16:28,752 --> 01:16:34,423 ♪ Oh-oh-oh, limehouse kid ♪ 1089 01:16:34,490 --> 01:16:36,760 ♪ Going the way 1090 01:16:36,826 --> 01:16:42,398 that the rest of them did ♪ 1091 01:16:42,465 --> 01:16:46,469 ♪ Poor broken blossom 1092 01:16:46,535 --> 01:16:50,539 and nobody's child ♪ 1093 01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:53,843 ♪ Haunting and taunting ♪ 1094 01:16:53,910 --> 01:16:59,315 ♪ You're just kinda wild, 1095 01:16:59,382 --> 01:17:00,717 oh, oh ♪ 1096 01:17:00,784 --> 01:17:02,786 ♪ Oh, limehouse blues ♪ 1097 01:17:02,852 --> 01:17:08,424 ♪ I've the real limehouse blues ♪ 1098 01:17:08,491 --> 01:17:11,795 ♪ Learned from the Willow ♪ 1099 01:17:11,861 --> 01:17:16,465 ♪ Those sad China blues ♪ 1100 01:17:16,532 --> 01:17:20,469 ♪ Rings on your fingers ♪ 1101 01:17:20,536 --> 01:17:25,341 ♪ And tears for a crown ♪ 1102 01:17:25,408 --> 01:17:30,646 ♪ That is the story 1103 01:17:30,714 --> 01:17:35,919 of old Chinatown ♪ 1104 01:17:53,669 --> 01:17:56,239 (Gunshot) 1105 01:17:59,575 --> 01:18:02,145 (Gunshot) 1106 01:18:08,484 --> 01:18:11,054 (Rapid gunshots) 1107 01:25:57,353 --> 01:26:03,492 ♪ Rings on your fingers ♪ 1108 01:26:04,627 --> 01:26:10,666 ♪ And tears for a crown ♪ 1109 01:26:11,967 --> 01:26:17,906 ♪ That is the story 1110 01:26:20,309 --> 01:26:26,449 of old Chinatown ♪ 1111 01:26:42,197 --> 01:26:44,767 (Doorbell rings) 1112 01:26:51,274 --> 01:26:53,842 (Ring-ring-ring) 1113 01:26:59,014 --> 01:27:01,984 ♪ We are here to interview a lady ♪ 1114 01:27:02,050 --> 01:27:05,688 ♪ Known to you because of her ability ♪ 1115 01:27:05,754 --> 01:27:09,392 ♪ As the glamorous, amorous lady they call... ♪ 1116 01:27:09,458 --> 01:27:11,126 She's expecting you, gentlemen. 1117 01:27:11,193 --> 01:27:13,061 Won't you come in? 1118 01:27:13,128 --> 01:27:14,663 ♪ Now, we don't mean Greta ♪ 1119 01:27:14,730 --> 01:27:16,532 ♪ And we don't mean Bette-a ♪ 1120 01:27:16,599 --> 01:27:19,702 ♪ Or Loretta or the song of Bernadette-a ♪ 1121 01:27:19,768 --> 01:27:23,606 ♪ We mean the fabulous, dabulous lady they call... ♪ 1122 01:27:23,672 --> 01:27:25,774 The other gentlemen are here. 1123 01:27:25,841 --> 01:27:27,142 Please come in. 1124 01:27:27,209 --> 01:27:28,577 ♪ She's news ♪ 1125 01:27:28,644 --> 01:27:30,479 ♪ She's front-page stuff ♪ 1126 01:27:30,546 --> 01:27:32,247 ♪ She's headline ♪ 1127 01:27:32,315 --> 01:27:33,982 ♪ She's tops ♪ 1128 01:27:34,049 --> 01:27:36,519 ♪ And in advance the critics 1129 01:27:36,585 --> 01:27:38,454 are all in accord ♪ 1130 01:27:38,521 --> 01:27:41,390 ♪ She's gonna win the next academy award ♪ 1131 01:27:41,457 --> 01:27:43,091 ♪ All her fans will be delighted ♪ 1132 01:27:43,158 --> 01:27:44,727 ♪ Not to mention quite excited ♪ 1133 01:27:44,793 --> 01:27:47,830 ♪ At her personal appearance presently ♪ 1134 01:27:47,896 --> 01:27:50,333 ♪ She's stupendous, tremendous ♪ 1135 01:27:50,399 --> 01:27:52,034 ♪ Collosical, terrifical ♪ 1136 01:27:52,100 --> 01:27:53,235 ♪ She's got it ♪ 1137 01:27:53,302 --> 01:27:55,504 ♪ But definitely ♪ 1138 01:27:55,571 --> 01:27:57,906 ♪ The glamorous ♪ 1139 01:27:57,973 --> 01:27:59,174 ♪ Amorous ♪ 1140 01:27:59,241 --> 01:28:05,180 ♪ lady they call-all-all ♪ 1141 01:28:05,247 --> 01:28:07,850 Shh. 1142 01:28:46,822 --> 01:28:48,457 (Delicate, cultured tone) Fribbins... 1143 01:28:48,524 --> 01:28:50,493 What is all this? 1144 01:28:50,559 --> 01:28:54,329 The gentlemen of the press, milady. 1145 01:28:54,397 --> 01:28:56,932 Darlings. 1146 01:28:56,999 --> 01:29:02,605 How utterly charming of you to have dropped in like this. 1147 01:29:02,671 --> 01:29:06,174 How delightfully informal of you to have... 1148 01:29:06,241 --> 01:29:09,578 Well, dropped in like this. 1149 01:29:09,645 --> 01:29:13,281 I mean, how perfectly marvelous 1150 01:29:13,348 --> 01:29:16,785 of you to have... 1151 01:29:16,852 --> 01:29:17,653 Well... 1152 01:29:17,720 --> 01:29:21,857 You have dropped in, haven't you? 1153 01:29:21,924 --> 01:29:23,459 And I... 1154 01:29:23,526 --> 01:29:26,429 Well, gentlemen... 1155 01:29:26,495 --> 01:29:30,899 You have caught me pitifully unprepared. 1156 01:29:42,745 --> 01:29:44,046 And now... 1157 01:29:44,112 --> 01:29:47,883 You may rise. 1158 01:29:47,950 --> 01:29:49,051 And now... 1159 01:29:49,117 --> 01:29:51,219 You may rise. 1160 01:29:51,286 --> 01:29:52,354 Oh, oh, come! 1161 01:29:52,421 --> 01:29:54,289 Get up, get up, get up, get up. 1162 01:29:54,356 --> 01:29:55,991 Let's get on with this. 1163 01:29:56,058 --> 01:29:57,092 There, now. 1164 01:29:57,159 --> 01:29:58,193 That's better. 1165 01:29:58,260 --> 01:29:59,327 Isn't it? 1166 01:29:59,394 --> 01:30:00,496 (Reporters all talking at once) 1167 01:30:00,563 --> 01:30:03,298 Gentlemen...Of the press. 1168 01:30:03,365 --> 01:30:05,434 Members of the fourth estate. 1169 01:30:05,501 --> 01:30:07,202 What can I do for you? 1170 01:30:07,269 --> 01:30:09,304 Tell me, pray do. 1171 01:30:09,371 --> 01:30:12,207 ♪ Oh, glamorous lady ♪ 1172 01:30:12,274 --> 01:30:14,610 ♪ Oh, glamorous lady ♪ 1173 01:30:14,677 --> 01:30:17,480 ♪ Oh, amorous lady ♪ 1174 01:30:17,546 --> 01:30:22,485 ♪ Here's to-o-o-o you ♪ 1175 01:30:22,551 --> 01:30:25,320 ♪ And humbly we're here to ♪ 1176 01:30:25,387 --> 01:30:28,223 ♪ Quite mumbly we're here to ♪ 1177 01:30:28,290 --> 01:30:31,126 ♪ Humdrumly we're here 1178 01:30:31,193 --> 01:30:36,064 to interview you ♪ 1179 01:30:38,133 --> 01:30:41,036 (Swing rhythm begins) 1180 01:30:41,103 --> 01:30:44,473 ♪ We're here to pry into your private life ♪ 1181 01:30:44,540 --> 01:30:46,842 ♪ We're here to seek your every secret ♪ 1182 01:30:46,909 --> 01:30:50,946 ♪ We're here to scoop a scoop obviously ♪ 1183 01:30:51,013 --> 01:30:54,249 ♪ What is your next vehicle to be ♪ 1184 01:30:54,316 --> 01:30:55,784 (Tempo slows again) 1185 01:30:55,851 --> 01:30:59,622 (Grandly) This is much too much. 1186 01:30:59,688 --> 01:31:04,292 A sort of a bit of a go-and-touch. 1187 01:31:04,359 --> 01:31:06,461 But confidentially, gentlemen, 1188 01:31:06,529 --> 01:31:08,931 and this is off the record of course. 1189 01:31:08,997 --> 01:31:11,266 Of course. 1190 01:31:11,333 --> 01:31:12,467 But... 1191 01:31:12,535 --> 01:31:15,938 About my next picture. 1192 01:31:16,004 --> 01:31:21,443 I'm faced with a curious problem. 1193 01:31:21,510 --> 01:31:26,414 ♪ Shall I always be dramatic ♪ 1194 01:31:26,481 --> 01:31:29,151 ♪ Biographically emphatic ♪ 1195 01:31:29,217 --> 01:31:34,957 ♪ Should I devote my life to the legitimate Art ♪ 1196 01:31:35,023 --> 01:31:38,794 ♪ Or should I do what I'd adore so ♪ 1197 01:31:38,861 --> 01:31:42,831 ♪ Do my acting with my torso ♪ 1198 01:31:42,898 --> 01:31:46,602 ♪ And give all the natives a start ♪ 1199 01:31:46,669 --> 01:31:50,505 ♪ Must the roles I play be tragic ♪ 1200 01:31:50,573 --> 01:31:54,677 ♪ Full of Oscar-winning magic ♪ 1201 01:31:54,743 --> 01:32:00,883 ♪ Should I drain the cup of drama to its dregs ♪ 1202 01:32:02,585 --> 01:32:06,488 ♪ Or do you think it is permissible ♪ 1203 01:32:06,555 --> 01:32:09,892 ♪ To be for once quite kissable ♪ 1204 01:32:09,958 --> 01:32:15,798 ♪ And give them a peep of my legs ♪ 1205 01:32:15,864 --> 01:32:19,568 ♪ I'd like to be a pinup girl ♪ 1206 01:32:19,635 --> 01:32:22,838 ♪ A cheesecake girl, too ♪ 1207 01:32:22,905 --> 01:32:28,777 ♪ And what is ginger Rogers that I am not ♪ 1208 01:32:28,844 --> 01:32:32,615 ♪ And what has Betty grable got ♪ 1209 01:32:32,681 --> 01:32:35,517 ♪ That I haven't got ♪ 1210 01:32:35,584 --> 01:32:38,821 ♪ Ah, the cinema must exhibit me ♪ 1211 01:32:38,887 --> 01:32:41,890 ♪ In roles that so inhibit me ♪ 1212 01:32:41,957 --> 01:32:47,195 ♪ I feel...Well, I feel just like a soldier out of step ♪ 1213 01:32:47,262 --> 01:32:53,101 ♪ Yes but would the episode outlive me ♪ 1214 01:32:53,168 --> 01:32:57,239 ♪ Would my public quite forgive me ♪ 1215 01:32:57,305 --> 01:33:03,411 ♪ If I tried to show the world I'm really hep ♪ 1216 01:33:03,478 --> 01:33:07,382 (Jazzy tempo) 1217 01:33:07,449 --> 01:33:08,984 Oh, but now, you darlings, 1218 01:33:09,051 --> 01:33:12,020 you adorable, dear, dear boys. 1219 01:33:12,087 --> 01:33:17,259 I'm going to tell you all about my next picture. 1220 01:33:19,628 --> 01:33:21,830 What is my next picture? 1221 01:33:21,897 --> 01:33:23,699 No, no, don't tell me, don't tell me. 1222 01:33:23,766 --> 01:33:25,300 Shh, shh, shh. 1223 01:33:25,367 --> 01:33:28,837 Ha! Excuse me, darling. 1224 01:33:34,877 --> 01:33:38,881 Madame crematante. 1225 01:33:38,947 --> 01:33:41,750 Madame crematante, gentlemen, 1226 01:33:41,817 --> 01:33:45,888 will be a monumental biographical tribute 1227 01:33:45,954 --> 01:33:50,292 to a monumental biographical woman... 1228 01:33:50,358 --> 01:33:51,727 Who... 1229 01:33:51,794 --> 01:33:55,463 Toiled, searched... 1230 01:33:55,530 --> 01:34:00,335 Starved, slaved... 1231 01:34:00,402 --> 01:34:03,338 Suffered... 1232 01:34:03,405 --> 01:34:05,073 Pioneered... 1233 01:34:05,140 --> 01:34:10,345 So that the world... You and I... 1234 01:34:10,412 --> 01:34:14,249 Could reap the benefits of her magnificent discovery 1235 01:34:14,316 --> 01:34:19,287 the safety pin! 1236 01:34:19,354 --> 01:34:20,723 The story starts 1237 01:34:20,789 --> 01:34:26,561 in a dark, dank, dingy tenement in Amsterdam... 1238 01:34:26,628 --> 01:34:27,863 (Rhythmic clapping) 1239 01:34:27,930 --> 01:34:29,865 Holland, you know... 1240 01:34:29,932 --> 01:34:32,735 In the flat of a poor, impoverished family, 1241 01:34:32,801 --> 01:34:35,237 but of rather good antecedents. 1242 01:34:35,303 --> 01:34:40,042 Gretchen crematante was a very brave and noble woman 1243 01:34:40,108 --> 01:34:42,577 who, against the wishes of her father... 1244 01:34:42,644 --> 01:34:44,346 The baron, you know... 1245 01:34:44,412 --> 01:34:49,284 Married this young inventor who didn't have a sou, penniless. 1246 01:34:49,351 --> 01:34:52,287 (Jazz beat) ♪ and there they were in Amsterdam ♪ 1247 01:34:52,354 --> 01:34:53,388 ♪ In Amsterdam ♪ 1248 01:34:53,455 --> 01:34:54,790 ♪ Yes, there they were ♪ 1249 01:34:54,857 --> 01:34:56,859 ♪ In a dark and dingy tenement flat ♪ 1250 01:34:56,925 --> 01:34:58,393 ♪ With no food ♪ 1251 01:34:58,460 --> 01:34:59,828 ♪ And no heat ♪ 1252 01:34:59,895 --> 01:35:01,897 ♪ And no money for to pay the rent ♪ 1253 01:35:01,964 --> 01:35:02,931 ♪ But did they care ♪ 1254 01:35:02,998 --> 01:35:04,733 ♪ No, they don't care ♪ 1255 01:35:04,800 --> 01:35:06,434 ♪ Madame crematante, she don't care ♪ 1256 01:35:06,501 --> 01:35:09,004 ♪ 'Cause she seen the light just the other day ♪ 1257 01:35:09,071 --> 01:35:11,273 ♪ Since then she been tryin' for to find a way ♪ 1258 01:35:11,339 --> 01:35:13,942 ♪ For to bring to the world a big invent ♪ 1259 01:35:14,009 --> 01:35:15,477 ♪ And so she did ♪ 1260 01:35:15,543 --> 01:35:17,079 ♪ And so she did ♪ 1261 01:35:17,145 --> 01:35:19,014 ♪ Whoop-de-doodie, madame crematante did ♪ 1262 01:35:19,081 --> 01:35:21,149 ♪ She toiled and strived, did sweat and slave ♪ 1263 01:35:21,216 --> 01:35:23,385 ♪ A-stretchin' her mind and beginning to rave ♪ 1264 01:35:23,451 --> 01:35:26,088 ♪ But the price she paid was worth the pain ♪ 1265 01:35:26,154 --> 01:35:28,556 ♪ For on a cold and frosty morn ♪ 1266 01:35:28,623 --> 01:35:29,792 ♪ Oh, no ♪ 1267 01:35:29,858 --> 01:35:32,060 ♪ The safety pin was born ♪ 1268 01:35:32,127 --> 01:35:34,496 ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪ 1269 01:35:34,562 --> 01:35:36,765 ♪ Hallelu-lu-lu-lujah ♪ 1270 01:35:36,832 --> 01:35:38,901 ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪ 1271 01:35:38,967 --> 01:35:41,036 ♪ Hallelu-lu-lu-lujah ♪ 1272 01:35:41,103 --> 01:35:43,839 ♪ Shout hallelujah and a big amen ♪ 1273 01:35:43,906 --> 01:35:45,908 ♪ For the lady with the safety pin ♪ 1274 01:35:45,974 --> 01:35:47,910 ♪ Gee, Willy, rock-slop skippy ♪ 1275 01:35:47,976 --> 01:35:49,577 ♪ What more do ya want ♪ 1276 01:35:49,644 --> 01:35:50,712 ♪ Than madame crematante's ♪ 1277 01:35:50,779 --> 01:35:52,414 ♪ Lujah, hallelujah ♪ 1278 01:35:52,480 --> 01:35:54,716 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 1279 01:35:54,783 --> 01:36:00,322 ♪ Hallelujah, hola-hola-hola ♪ 1280 01:36:00,388 --> 01:36:02,925 ♪ Scream and shout, who cares what it's all about ♪ 1281 01:36:02,991 --> 01:36:04,993 ♪ Just as long as you're stompin' and jivin' ♪ 1282 01:36:05,060 --> 01:36:07,329 ♪ And gassin' and gabbin' and jammin' and jumpin' ♪ 1283 01:36:07,395 --> 01:36:10,032 ♪ When you talk about the safety pin ♪ 1284 01:36:10,098 --> 01:36:12,100 ♪ Who's got the safety pin ♪ 1285 01:36:12,167 --> 01:36:13,902 ♪ Slip me the safety pin ♪ 1286 01:36:13,969 --> 01:36:15,570 ♪ No doubt about it ♪ 1287 01:36:15,637 --> 01:36:17,005 ♪ No baby can do without ♪ 1288 01:36:17,072 --> 01:36:18,473 ♪ The safety pin ♪ 1289 01:36:18,540 --> 01:36:19,607 ♪ The safety pin ♪ 1290 01:36:19,674 --> 01:36:20,876 ♪ Who's got the safety pin ♪ 1291 01:36:20,943 --> 01:36:22,744 ♪ Slip me a safety pin ♪ 1292 01:36:22,811 --> 01:36:24,212 ♪ Madame crematante ♪ 1293 01:36:24,279 --> 01:36:25,948 ♪ She's the lady who was heaven-sent ♪ 1294 01:36:26,014 --> 01:36:28,283 ♪ She's the lady with the big invent ♪ 1295 01:36:28,350 --> 01:36:34,289 ♪ Hola ♪ 1296 01:36:37,292 --> 01:36:39,027 -♪ Safety pin ♪ -♪ madame crematante ♪ 1297 01:36:39,094 --> 01:36:40,863 ♪ She's the lady with the big invent ♪ 1298 01:36:40,929 --> 01:36:43,265 ♪ Madame crematante she's the lady with the big invent ♪ 1299 01:36:43,331 --> 01:36:45,633 ♪ Madame crematante she's the lady with the big invent ♪ 1300 01:36:45,700 --> 01:36:48,770 ♪ Madame crematante she's the lady with the big invent ♪ 1301 01:36:48,837 --> 01:36:53,741 ♪ Hola ♪ 1302 01:36:53,808 --> 01:36:56,811 ♪ Hola-hola-hola ♪ 1303 01:36:56,879 --> 01:36:59,381 ♪ Ia ♪ 1304 01:37:40,155 --> 01:37:41,924 Oh, heh, how are ya? 1305 01:37:41,990 --> 01:37:47,729 Oh, uh... 1306 01:37:47,795 --> 01:37:49,697 Say, you're, uh, uh... 1307 01:37:49,764 --> 01:37:51,433 Uh, Fred Astaire. Hello! 1308 01:37:51,499 --> 01:37:52,534 Why, hello. 1309 01:37:52,600 --> 01:37:54,036 Uh, I'm sorry. 1310 01:37:54,102 --> 01:37:56,171 I can't quite place you. 1311 01:37:56,238 --> 01:37:59,674 What line of business are you in? 1312 01:37:59,741 --> 01:38:01,977 Well, uh, I dance. 1313 01:38:02,044 --> 01:38:03,745 Oh, at home, for the folks? 1314 01:38:03,811 --> 01:38:04,746 Picnics and that kind of thing? 1315 01:38:04,812 --> 01:38:06,915 Oh, no, no. In public. 1316 01:38:06,982 --> 01:38:08,416 On street corners? 1317 01:38:08,483 --> 01:38:09,651 Oh, no, on the screen. 1318 01:38:09,717 --> 01:38:11,186 Motion pictures. 1319 01:38:11,253 --> 01:38:14,256 You do go to pictures that have dancing in them, don't you? 1320 01:38:14,322 --> 01:38:16,191 Why, I try to see them all, I go... 1321 01:38:16,258 --> 01:38:19,361 Well, did you see a picture called cover girl? 1322 01:38:19,427 --> 01:38:20,996 Yes. 1323 01:38:21,063 --> 01:38:25,067 Well, who did all the dancing in that? 1324 01:38:25,133 --> 01:38:28,870 You're not Rita Hayworth?! 1325 01:38:28,937 --> 01:38:30,038 Ah, ha ha. 1326 01:38:30,105 --> 01:38:31,739 No, I'm not... 1327 01:38:31,806 --> 01:38:33,608 Ginger. 1328 01:38:33,675 --> 01:38:36,011 Ahh... 1329 01:38:36,078 --> 01:38:37,712 - Well, so long, Gene. - See you around. 1330 01:38:37,779 --> 01:38:39,281 (Overlapping) I got a little number to do here. 1331 01:38:39,347 --> 01:38:40,715 - You have? - Well, sure. 1332 01:38:40,782 --> 01:38:41,950 - Here? - Sure. 1333 01:38:42,017 --> 01:38:43,885 Well, say, why don't we just, uh... 1334 01:38:43,952 --> 01:38:45,453 Ad lib a little something together then? 1335 01:38:45,520 --> 01:38:47,089 Uh, whip it up right here on the spot. 1336 01:38:47,155 --> 01:38:48,390 - Throw it away. - Like the one 1337 01:38:48,456 --> 01:38:50,625 we've been rehearsing for two weeks. 1338 01:38:50,692 --> 01:38:52,227 Ahh... 1339 01:38:52,294 --> 01:38:55,430 ♪ A babbit met a bromide on the Avenue one day ♪ 1340 01:38:55,497 --> 01:39:01,003 ♪ And held a conversation in their own peculiar way ♪ 1341 01:39:01,069 --> 01:39:02,870 ♪ They both were solid citizens ♪ 1342 01:39:02,937 --> 01:39:04,539 ♪ They both had been around ♪ 1343 01:39:04,606 --> 01:39:06,274 ♪ And as they spoke, you clearly saw ♪ 1344 01:39:06,341 --> 01:39:10,178 ♪ Their feet were on the ground ♪ 1345 01:39:10,245 --> 01:39:11,779 - Hello! - How are you? 1346 01:39:11,846 --> 01:39:13,348 - How's the folks? - What's new? 1347 01:39:13,415 --> 01:39:15,517 - I'm great. - That's good. 1348 01:39:15,583 --> 01:39:16,985 - Ha ha! - Knock wood. 1349 01:39:17,052 --> 01:39:18,853 - Well, well. - That's life. 1350 01:39:18,920 --> 01:39:20,722 - Whaddaya know? - How's the wife? 1351 01:39:20,788 --> 01:39:22,524 - Gotta run. - Oh, my. 1352 01:39:22,590 --> 01:39:23,691 - Ta-ta. - Olive oil. 1353 01:39:23,758 --> 01:39:26,328 Good-bye. 1354 01:39:56,758 --> 01:40:00,128 ♪ Ten years went quickly by for both these substi-antial men ♪ 1355 01:40:00,195 --> 01:40:04,899 ♪ And then it happened that one day they chanced to meet again ♪ 1356 01:40:04,966 --> 01:40:09,337 ♪ That they had both developed in 10 years there was no doubt ♪ 1357 01:40:09,404 --> 01:40:15,543 ♪ And so of course they had an awful lot to talk about ♪ 1358 01:40:16,911 --> 01:40:18,446 - Hello! - How are you? 1359 01:40:18,513 --> 01:40:20,282 - How's the folks? - What's new? 1360 01:40:20,348 --> 01:40:22,284 - I'm great. - That's good. 1361 01:40:22,350 --> 01:40:23,918 - Ha ha! - Knock wood. 1362 01:40:23,985 --> 01:40:25,820 - Well, well. - That's life. 1363 01:40:25,887 --> 01:40:27,822 - Whaddaya know? - How's the wife? 1364 01:40:27,889 --> 01:40:29,591 - Gotta run. - Oh, my. 1365 01:40:29,657 --> 01:40:30,725 - Ta-ta. - Olive oil. 1366 01:40:30,792 --> 01:40:33,361 Good-bye. 1367 01:41:35,557 --> 01:41:38,693 ♪ Before they met again some 40 years they had to wait ♪ 1368 01:41:38,760 --> 01:41:44,466 ♪ This time it happened up above inside Saint Peter's gate ♪ 1369 01:41:44,532 --> 01:41:48,136 ♪ A harp each one was carrying, and both were sprouting wings ♪ 1370 01:41:48,203 --> 01:41:49,537 ♪ And this is what they said ♪ 1371 01:41:49,604 --> 01:41:55,610 ♪ As they were strumming on the strings ♪ 1372 01:41:56,811 --> 01:41:58,112 - Hello! - How are you? 1373 01:41:58,180 --> 01:41:59,347 - How's the folks? - What's new? 1374 01:41:59,414 --> 01:42:01,383 - I'm great. - That's good. 1375 01:42:01,449 --> 01:42:03,050 - Ha ha! - Knock wood. 1376 01:42:03,117 --> 01:42:04,952 - Well, well. - That's life. 1377 01:42:05,019 --> 01:42:06,954 - Whaddaya know? - How's the wife? 1378 01:42:07,021 --> 01:42:08,690 - Gotta fly. - Oh, my. 1379 01:42:08,756 --> 01:42:09,857 - Ta-ta. - Olive oil. 1380 01:42:09,924 --> 01:42:12,494 Good-bye. 1381 01:44:30,965 --> 01:44:35,737 ♪ The gleam of a blue-white moonlight ♪ 1382 01:44:35,803 --> 01:44:40,775 ♪ Makes diamonds of the stars in the sky ♪ 1383 01:44:40,842 --> 01:44:45,647 ♪ The gold of an Autumn sunset ♪ 1384 01:44:45,713 --> 01:44:51,453 ♪ Colors a cloud passing by ♪ 1385 01:44:51,519 --> 01:44:56,458 ♪ The night says good-bye to the morning ♪ 1386 01:44:56,524 --> 01:45:00,962 ♪ And a heart says hello 1387 01:45:01,028 --> 01:45:05,667 to a heart ♪ 1388 01:45:05,733 --> 01:45:11,873 ♪ All of these wonderful things shall endure ♪ 1389 01:45:12,707 --> 01:45:17,512 ♪ They're works of Art ♪ 1390 01:45:17,579 --> 01:45:23,785 ♪ There's beauty everywhere ♪ 1391 01:45:25,119 --> 01:45:30,625 ♪ That everyone can share ♪ 1392 01:45:30,692 --> 01:45:36,831 ♪ A lovely world can be unfurled ♪ 1393 01:45:38,500 --> 01:45:44,305 ♪ To those who see and care ♪ 1394 01:45:44,372 --> 01:45:50,512 ♪ We search for beauty gay ♪ 1395 01:45:51,946 --> 01:45:57,585 ♪ Through every livelong day ♪ 1396 01:45:57,652 --> 01:46:03,791 ♪ And then someone comes into view ♪ 1397 01:46:05,059 --> 01:46:11,132 ♪ And suddenly you find it's true ♪ 1398 01:46:12,434 --> 01:46:18,372 ♪ That love is beauty, too ♪ 1399 01:46:19,974 --> 01:46:26,113 ♪ And then someone comes into view ♪ 1400 01:46:27,549 --> 01:46:32,987 ♪ And suddenly you find it's true ♪ 1401 01:46:33,955 --> 01:46:38,460 ♪ That love is 1402 01:46:38,526 --> 01:46:44,666 beauty, too ♪ 1403 01:48:50,658 --> 01:48:56,798 ♪ And then someone comes into view ♪ 1404 01:48:58,065 --> 01:49:04,071 ♪ And suddenly you find it's true ♪ 1405 01:49:05,272 --> 01:49:08,475 ♪ That love is 1406 01:49:08,542 --> 01:49:14,682 beauty, too ♪ 97523

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