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1
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♪ My eyes are gettin' weary ♪
2
00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:07,905
♪ My back is gettin' tight ♪
3
00:00:07,975 --> 00:00:09,820
♪ I'm sittin' here in traffic ♪
4
00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:13,077
♪ On the Queensboro
Bridge tonight ♪
5
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:18,283
♪ But I don't care
'cause all I want to do ♪
6
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,353
♪ Is cash my check and
drive right home to you ♪
7
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:26,224
♪ 'Cause, baby, all my life ♪
8
00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:29,027
♪ I will be drivin'
home to you ♪
9
00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:40,539
God, I love the
smell of hot wings.
10
00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:41,739
I know you do, baby.
11
00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:43,653
Why can't they make
an air freshener like this?
12
00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:45,644
You know, like for the car?
13
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:49,380
Our car has enough food
smells in it, don't you think?
14
00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:51,093
For milady? Over here.
15
00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:52,184
Whoa!
16
00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:53,819
Thank you. There you go.
17
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:58,223
And I will just sit
down right here.
18
00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:00,592
Actually, right here.
19
00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:05,308
Doug!
20
00:01:05,332 --> 00:01:06,343
Well, come on! Let me watch!
21
00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:07,407
I'm here, the Jets are on,
22
00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:08,633
it's fate!
23
00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:10,568
You're here every day,
24
00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:12,838
and the place is
owned by a retired Jet.
25
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,684
It's not that
miraculous. Now up!
26
00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:16,708
Up!
27
00:01:16,776 --> 00:01:19,577
All right.
28
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:23,215
Go, go.
29
00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:25,550
Ow!
30
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:28,220
Next time, it's a steak
knife. Now, sit down.
31
00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:29,487
Fine.
32
00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:32,057
You know, you could try and
make conversation with me.
33
00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:34,245
You're right. You're
right. I'm sorry.
34
00:01:37,697 --> 00:01:40,465
Are you trying to see
the reflection of the TV
35
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,668
in my eyes?
36
00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:44,169
That would be crazy.
37
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:45,804
Fumble!
38
00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:48,039
Doug, come on!
Stay with me here.
39
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,374
Stay with me, honey. Come on.
40
00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:52,177
Please.
41
00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:54,085
I'm trying to enjoy our
last moments of freedom
42
00:01:54,147 --> 00:01:56,214
before your mom comes into town.
43
00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:57,293
Hey, that's no way to
talk about the woman
44
00:01:57,317 --> 00:02:00,385
who brought all
this into the world.
45
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,198
All right, if she brought
all of that into the world,
46
00:02:02,222 --> 00:02:03,655
she would be dead.
47
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,025
Hey, you guys get menus?
48
00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:08,026
Menus? You're adorable.
49
00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:09,628
Take out your pad.
50
00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:11,796
Doug?
51
00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:14,165
Oh, my God. Margy Colletti!
52
00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:15,266
Ohh!
53
00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:17,179
Carrie, this is my
high school girlfriend.
54
00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:18,848
Margy... Margy,
this is my wife Carrie.
55
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,832
Hey, great to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
56
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:23,074
Awkward! Wife
meeting ex-girlfriend.
57
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,010
Couldn't be more uncomfortable.
58
00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:28,647
Was he this much of an
idiot back in high school?
59
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:30,727
Oh, sure. He was
just like that, but acne.
60
00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:32,183
Ah, yeah.
61
00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:34,652
So, uh... what are you doing?
62
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:35,765
I mean, last I heard
you were married
63
00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:37,300
to some doctor in Connecticut.
64
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:38,901
Yeah, I was till a
couple of months ago.
65
00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:41,660
Now I'm divorced, back
here, waiting tables.
66
00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:44,662
Kind of like
Cinderella in reverse.
67
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:46,864
Sweetheart, still
waiting on that pie.
68
00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:48,033
Coming.
69
00:02:48,102 --> 00:02:49,834
Hey, by the way,
you must be excited
70
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,347
that your mom's
coming into town.
71
00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:53,383
Yeah, I am. How'd you
know she was coming in?
72
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:55,340
We keep in touch. Really?
73
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,254
Yeah, yeah. You
know, Christmas cards.
74
00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:58,443
Funny e-mails.
75
00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,490
Does she send you
guys the joke of the day?
76
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:04,649
Uh, no, not since we
blocked her from our computer.
77
00:03:04,717 --> 00:03:06,796
So what can I get ya?
78
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,764
Well, now that I've
heard it out loud,
79
00:03:08,788 --> 00:03:10,522
some kind of pie,
80
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:13,169
and any entrée you
think will go well before it.
81
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,260
How about a bacon cheeseburger?
82
00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:17,896
Welcome home, Margy Colletti.
83
00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:24,936
So? New?
84
00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:28,459
I had my annual review at IPS,
85
00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:31,043
and it turns out your son...
86
00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:32,789
is an average worker.
87
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,145
Yeah.
88
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:37,081
Good for you, Dougie.
89
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:40,452
You see what happens
when you roll your sleeves up?
90
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:43,188
Doug, can I see
you for a second?
91
00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:46,525
Oh. Yeah, sure.
92
00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:47,792
What's up?
93
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:50,462
OK, take this out.
Here are the cookies
94
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:52,564
and spoons. Go, go, go.
95
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:54,166
Whoa, settle down.
We're still eating.
96
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,834
Well, eat faster.
97
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:56,935
Carrie, this is a brunch.
98
00:03:57,004 --> 00:04:00,138
"Brunch" means slow lunch.
99
00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:02,607
Well, then we're
having "funch"...
100
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:04,276
Fast lunch.
101
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:06,584
Come on, if we
get done by 12:00,
102
00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:08,058
I can make it to
spinning, all right?
103
00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:09,159
Get mama going!
104
00:04:09,183 --> 00:04:10,593
Come on, I put some
ice cubes in there
105
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:11,549
so she'll drink it faster.
106
00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:12,618
Go, go!
107
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:16,588
You're never gonna
believe who that is.
108
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,356
Margy Colletti.
109
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:19,425
How did you know?
110
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:20,603
Well, we ran into her yesterday,
111
00:04:20,627 --> 00:04:23,027
and I can see her
through the window.
112
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:26,031
Oh, fiddlesticks. I
was gonna surprise ya.
113
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,011
Um, you didn't invite
her to eat, did you?
114
00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:29,567
Oh, no. She's
just picking me up.
115
00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:31,135
We're going shopping.
116
00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:32,970
Oh.
117
00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:35,173
Hey! Hi, honey!
118
00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:38,576
Oh, it's so good to see you!
119
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:40,991
Margy, it's one thing
stalking me in a public place,
120
00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:43,582
but this is my home, damn it!
121
00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,883
Yeah, good one, Doug.
122
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,285
So, where you guys headed?
123
00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:49,194
Well, I just moved into
the Sunrise Apartments,
124
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:51,255
and Janet said she'd
help me decorate.
125
00:04:51,324 --> 00:04:53,291
And she's always
had such good taste.
126
00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:54,292
Oh, stop.
127
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:55,605
You do. I don't.
128
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,429
You do. She does. I don't.
129
00:04:57,497 --> 00:05:00,632
OK. Let's agree to disagree, OK?
130
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,545
Well, I guess I do
have kind of a flair.
131
00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:04,236
OK, let's hit the mall.
132
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,071
I promise I won't
have her back too late.
133
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:07,072
OK.
134
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:08,540
Bye, kids! Bye.
135
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:10,174
Oh, Carrie. Brunch
was delightful.
136
00:05:10,244 --> 00:05:12,144
Sorry I had to cut it short.
137
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,794
There you go. Now you
can catch your spinning class.
138
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,450
And don't worry.
Those dirty dishes
139
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,986
will be right there
when you get back.
140
00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:24,956
What's the matter?
141
00:05:25,024 --> 00:05:26,691
Nothing. I just...
142
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:27,803
Don't you think
it's a little weird
143
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:28,760
your ex-girlfriend's
coming around
144
00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:30,006
and hanging out with your mom?
145
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:33,598
Here we go again.
146
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:36,901
I am with you.
147
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,571
I took a vow for God's sakes.
148
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,941
Trust that.
149
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,449
This has nothing to
do with you, Doug.
150
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,323
All right? It's about
Margy and your mom.
151
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,858
I mean, did you hear those two?
152
00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:50,827
"I love you." "No, I love you."
153
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:53,263
God, I thought they
were gonna make out.
154
00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:56,488
Did you just call
my mom a lesbian?
155
00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:59,791
Doug, come on.
I'm serious. I mean,
156
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,070
your mom shouldn't be
running around with Margy.
157
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:02,271
She should be staying here
158
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:03,740
and having brunch with us.
159
00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:05,541
Wait a second. You were just
trying to get the hell out of here.
160
00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:06,498
Remember "funch"?
161
00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:09,067
What the hell
happened to funch?!
162
00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:11,781
And another thing, she's
decorating her apartment?
163
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,116
I mean, what... what's...
164
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:15,118
She never showed
any interest in this place.
165
00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:17,375
She made us those
curtains, you threw 'em out.
166
00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:21,979
They had rainbows
with pots of gold on them.
167
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,793
And, anyway, that's
not even the point!
168
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,049
I think it is the point.
169
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:27,519
The only reason you want
mom is 'cause Margy's got her.
170
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,755
What? No!
171
00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:32,257
No, I love...
172
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:34,645
I love spending
time with your mom.
173
00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:37,640
And she should love
spending time with me.
174
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:39,275
Well, I gotta tell you,
you don't exactly throw out
175
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:41,866
the "hang with me" vibe.
176
00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:43,680
And what is that
supposed to mean?
177
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:48,473
Just kind of like...
178
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:51,742
Well, at least I don't
walk around being huge.
179
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,857
What, you just
did the cat thing.
180
00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:56,247
That was just harmless fun.
181
00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:58,316
You're clearly not a cat.
182
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:08,426
You know, I gotta say
I was little surprised
183
00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:10,995
that you wanted my help
picking out a dress, dear.
184
00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:12,230
Really? Why?
185
00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:14,799
I've always liked
your sense of style.
186
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:15,948
Really?
187
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:17,546
Yeah, like look at
that pin you're wearing.
188
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:18,581
What do you got
there, an elephant?
189
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,449
Oh, yeah. It's for good luck.
190
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:21,473
Ah!
191
00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:22,885
You know what? It's yours.
192
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:23,909
No, no, no. No, no.
193
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:26,344
That's your elephant.
No, no, I couldn't.
194
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:27,824
I couldn't. I couldn't.
I couldn't, really.
195
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:29,280
Fine.
196
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:32,669
♪ I know what I'm getting
someone for Christmas ♪
197
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,920
So, where are we here?
198
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,656
Uh, give me a little
more information
199
00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:39,404
about this function
you need the dress for.
200
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,504
Oh, it's a dinner
at my boss' house.
201
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,862
We won a lawsuit
over clean water.
202
00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:46,197
I'm not sure what side we're on.
203
00:07:46,265 --> 00:07:48,767
Well, you know,
if it's a dinner,
204
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:52,069
this could be a way to go.
205
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,884
Yes! That is
definitely a way to go.
206
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:58,242
It is, but how 'bout this?
207
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:01,445
Are you posing for
Playboy magazine, dear?
208
00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:04,415
No, I am not.
209
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,551
You know, the
more I look around,
210
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:09,253
the more I realize
this is the one.
211
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,332
Well, OK!
212
00:08:10,356 --> 00:08:11,700
If you love it, then I love it.
213
00:08:11,724 --> 00:08:13,202
I love it. Then I love it.
214
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:14,158
Well, I'm glad I could help.
215
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:15,571
I'm glad you can help, too.
216
00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:18,407
Let's just go ahead and ring
this bad boy right up, huh?
217
00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,431
OK.
218
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:22,300
Thank you.
219
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,547
So, after this I
think you and I...
220
00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:27,038
Oh, excuse me, dear.
221
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:29,107
Hello?
222
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:32,744
Oh, hi, Margy. What's cooking?
223
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:34,545
Uh-huh.
224
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:36,881
Carrie and I are
at the Dress Barn.
225
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,316
We're done, right?
226
00:08:38,384 --> 00:08:40,018
Yeah. Yeah!
227
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:42,165
Yeah, we're done. So, I'll
just shoot right down there.
228
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,189
I'll see you in a few.
229
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,224
Doug: What do you want me to do?
230
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:47,570
I want you to talk
to your mother.
231
00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:49,360
No, no. I'm not
getting involved.
232
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:51,007
OK, fine. I'll talk to her.
233
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,197
Whoa! What are you gonna say?
234
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:53,197
I'm gonna tell her
235
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:54,644
that I don't think
it's appropriate
236
00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:57,447
that she spends so much
time with her son's ex-girlfriend,
237
00:08:57,471 --> 00:08:59,271
that it's disrespectful to me.
238
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:04,108
Yeah, I can't allow that.
239
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:06,022
Why not? I want
this out in the open.
240
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,623
I don't know how you handle
problems in your family,
241
00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:09,224
but in my family, we
sweep 'em under the rug,
242
00:09:09,248 --> 00:09:11,549
then we eat. It's
worked for generations.
243
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,262
Tough. I'm talking to her.
244
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,764
Carrie, you can't. I
think it's a bad idea.
245
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,287
Look, my mom will be upset,
246
00:09:16,355 --> 00:09:17,834
and she'll start to cry.
And when she cries,
247
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,457
she doesn't just cry,
OK? She blubbers.
248
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:20,759
And she'll continue blubbering
249
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:21,993
until you sweep the problem
250
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:25,597
back under the rug where
all serious problems belong.
251
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:28,666
All right, fine.
You talk to Margy.
252
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:31,302
You want me to sit
down with my ex...
253
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:33,604
Alone...
254
00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:35,139
And talk?
255
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,407
Yeah.
256
00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:40,077
Just me and a former lover.
257
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:41,779
You're not worried about that?
258
00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:43,848
Yeah, I think I'll
roll those dice.
259
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:48,752
Doug: Hey, Margy.
260
00:09:48,821 --> 00:09:50,800
Hey, Doug! You
here for Finger Fest?
261
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,690
No. No, actually,
I came down here
262
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,493
to talk to you about something.
263
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:57,995
Hey, is Finger Fest
instead of Wing Madness
264
00:09:58,064 --> 00:09:59,064
or in addition to?
265
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:00,431
Not sure.
266
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:01,599
I'm just a waitress.
267
00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:03,828
You know, I'm kinda
out of the loop creatively.
268
00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:06,604
Keep me posted.
269
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,274
Hey, look.
270
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:11,687
Didn't we have our
first date in this booth?
271
00:10:11,711 --> 00:10:12,643
Yeah, actually we did.
272
00:10:12,712 --> 00:10:13,755
We came here after we saw
273
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:15,591
a 4-foot black man
change the face of music
274
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,481
in Purple Rain.
275
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,384
Great movie.
276
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,431
I showed you a pretty sweet
evening that night, huh?
277
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:22,854
Yeah, you did.
278
00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:24,856
Until you shot your
straw wrapper at me
279
00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:26,691
and scratched my cornea.
280
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,226
I probably should've
known at that point
281
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:30,662
that we weren't meant to be.
282
00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:33,230
You know when I knew
we weren't meant to be?
283
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,566
When you started cheating
on me with Ricky LeDouche.
284
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,368
It's Ricky LeDoux,
285
00:10:37,436 --> 00:10:38,814
and I only got together with him
286
00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:41,216
because it was obvious
you weren't serious about me.
287
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:42,306
That's not true.
288
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,876
I wrote that song about
you, for God's sakes.
289
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:45,877
Again with that stupid song.
290
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:47,122
You told me for 2 years
291
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:48,424
that you were gonna write it.
292
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,593
I did! Then how
come I never heard it?
293
00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:52,817
Because while I was putting
the finishing touches on it,
294
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,019
you were rolling
around with LeDouche.
295
00:10:55,087 --> 00:10:57,922
LeDoux, it's LeDoux.
And by the way,
296
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,869
that nickname really
hurt his feelings.
297
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:02,159
LeDouche is sad!
298
00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:03,160
OK.
299
00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:04,729
OK, fine.
300
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,408
Sing me the song you wrote.
301
00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:08,966
I told you I never got a chance
302
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:10,368
to completely finish it.
303
00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:11,481
Yeah, you were pretty good
304
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,982
at not finishing
things, weren't ya?
305
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,783
You never finished
fixing up your car,
306
00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:16,018
you never finished college...
307
00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:17,107
I wrote the song!
308
00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:18,520
Sure you did. I gotta
get back to work.
309
00:11:18,544 --> 00:11:20,678
Margy, I wrote the song, OK?!
310
00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:23,981
Hey, is Finger Fest
instead of Wing Madness?
311
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:32,835
I thought we were
gonna watch the game.
312
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,459
Where the hell is it?
313
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,238
You know, I'm
sitting here by myself.
314
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:40,098
Haven't been offered
any refreshments!
315
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:41,678
I can't right now, OK? I'm
looking for this love song
316
00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:43,434
I wrote to Margy Colletti.
317
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:45,069
Margy Colletti?
318
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,450
The one whose
cornea you destroyed?
319
00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:49,340
OK, I didn't destroy it.
320
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,020
She had to wear an
eye patch for a semester.
321
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,076
Big whoop.
322
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:54,145
Hey, would you look
in that box right there?
323
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:55,424
What do you gotta
look for this now?
324
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,026
Because she doesn't
believe I wrote it, OK?
325
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,315
She was so smug about it, too.
326
00:11:58,384 --> 00:11:59,629
"Oh, you never finish anything."
327
00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:00,818
Yeah.
328
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,287
She's obviously
never eaten with you.
329
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:04,622
Ha ha ha ha.
330
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:07,224
Look in there,
OK? Any cassettes?
331
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:08,604
Yeah, yeah. Let's see.
332
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:11,295
We got Cheap Trick
Live at Budokan,
333
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:13,965
1-2-3 Spanish,
334
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,633
and The Margy Song.
335
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:16,968
That's it. That's it!
336
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:20,738
Here we go. Sweet
vindica-she-eeone.
337
00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:26,110
Doug, on tape: Check 1, check 2.
338
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:27,690
OK, here we go.
339
00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:32,416
It's October 12, 1984,
and this is The Margy Song
340
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:36,353
by Doug "The Boss" Heffernan.
341
00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:40,591
The Margy Song.
342
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:47,165
Margy Song.
343
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:50,702
All right, a song for Margy.
344
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:56,774
♪ Margy girl ♪
345
00:12:56,843 --> 00:13:00,377
♪ My heart's in a... a whirl ♪
346
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,646
Oh, yeah! Margy!
347
00:13:02,716 --> 00:13:03,648
Margy! Margy! Margy! Margy!
348
00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:06,483
Margy! Margy! Margy!
349
00:13:06,552 --> 00:13:09,887
OK, I'm gonna
take a short break.
350
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:12,289
To be continued.
351
00:13:15,928 --> 00:13:18,562
OK, maybe she was right.
352
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,331
Maybe I didn't finish it.
353
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:21,800
Crap.
354
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,870
♪ Margy girl ♪
355
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:29,908
♪ My heart's in a whirl ♪
356
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,742
♪ Tonight ♪
357
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:34,712
Yeah, it was
something like, uh...
358
00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:35,880
Then it was...
359
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:38,216
♪ Saw you in gym ♪
360
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:40,451
♪ Lookin' real trim ♪
361
00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:44,522
♪ Tonight ♪
362
00:13:46,058 --> 00:13:47,102
I can't remember it. Damn it!
363
00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:48,336
Why are you even doing this?
364
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,805
Because I don't want to
give her the satisfaction
365
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,596
of thinking I didn't
write the song, OK?
366
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,708
If you're gonna
help me, help me.
367
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:53,664
If not, get out of here.
368
00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:55,133
All right, fine.
369
00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:57,301
But I think if you're
gonna do this,
370
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,014
we should open
up the box a little.
371
00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:00,505
What do you got?
372
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,217
Well, it's supposed to be
something from the eighties.
373
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:03,753
So why don't we
synth-rock this baby
374
00:14:03,777 --> 00:14:05,777
and see where she takes us?
375
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,325
♪ Margy ♪
376
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:22,326
♪ Margy, I'm scared of you ♪
377
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,328
♪ M-M-Margy ♪
378
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:26,797
♪ I'm afraid of
you, afraid of you ♪
379
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,333
♪ M-M-Margy, you thrill me ♪
380
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:30,679
♪ The dirty things
that you do to me ♪
381
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:33,638
♪ Margy, you so dirty,
dirty, dirty Margy ♪
382
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:37,541
OK.
383
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,021
Let's close the box.
384
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:42,646
OK, I've only gotten awards
for karaoke, but whatever.
385
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:47,352
Hey, Doug. Did you,
uh... Did you talk to Margy?
386
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,352
Yeah.
387
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,132
Yeah, I did. Uh...
388
00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:51,734
And is she gonna stay
away from your mom?
389
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:53,035
I don't know. I did my best,
390
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,737
but I'm not sure it sunk in.
391
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:56,805
She's pretty attached.
392
00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:58,140
Really? Mmm.
393
00:14:58,164 --> 00:15:00,231
Unbelievable.
394
00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:02,033
Friggin' Margy
just can't stay away
395
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:04,601
from her little advice whore.
396
00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:09,340
Did you just call
my mom a whore?
397
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,141
I gotta go.
398
00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:12,142
I gotta go to my boss' dinner.
399
00:15:12,211 --> 00:15:13,411
I'll see you guys later.
400
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,556
What are you doing
with the keyboard?
401
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,613
Uh...
402
00:15:16,682 --> 00:15:17,993
Doug's helping me
write a couple of songs
403
00:15:18,017 --> 00:15:19,350
for the IPS follies.
404
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:22,120
I'm, uh, musical director.
405
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:29,159
I actually am.
406
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:37,902
Janet. What are you doing?
407
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,203
Oh, pardon me.
408
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:42,239
I'm just trying to pick a
color for Margy's bedroom.
409
00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:44,242
Something like
this might be nice.
410
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:45,454
You mind if she comes
over and takes a look?
411
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:46,688
All right. You know
what? We gotta talk.
412
00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:48,045
About what, dear?
413
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,014
Janet, I'm your daughter-in-law,
414
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:53,150
and you're just spending
all this time with Margy.
415
00:15:53,219 --> 00:15:54,785
You know?
416
00:15:54,853 --> 00:15:57,066
I'm just wondering if maybe
you would've been happier
417
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:59,257
if Doug would've married her.
418
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:03,660
Oh, my God.
419
00:16:03,729 --> 00:16:05,896
What have I done?
420
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:09,533
OK. Whoa. OK.
421
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,869
Uh...
422
00:16:11,937 --> 00:16:14,416
No, no, no. It's... it's
really... it's not just you.
423
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,119
You know, I could've
tried harder, you know?
424
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,275
I...
425
00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:20,445
Wow. Doug wasn't kidding.
426
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:21,723
Here, here. Why don't you...
427
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:25,382
Here, probably softer
than that fabric swatch.
428
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:27,118
Thank you.
429
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:29,020
Oh, Carrie.
430
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:33,992
I am so, so, so sorry.
431
00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:36,527
I never meant to
make you feel badly.
432
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,574
No, I know you didn't, but...
433
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:39,863
but you did.
434
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,876
But it's OK! But it's OK now!
435
00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:45,369
It really is OK.
436
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:47,638
Listen to me, darling.
437
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:50,174
Margy is a very sweet person,
438
00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:51,676
but make no mistake,
439
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:55,646
you are my daughter-in-law.
440
00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:57,848
No.
441
00:16:57,917 --> 00:17:00,017
My daughter.
442
00:17:00,086 --> 00:17:01,552
Thank you, Janet.
443
00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:02,686
Mom.
444
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:09,260
And Margy is just
gonna have to finish
445
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:11,362
decorating her
apartment without me.
446
00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:12,830
My time is for you.
447
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:15,210
Well, thank you, Janet.
That means a lot to me.
448
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,579
All right, I'm gonna get
dressed for that dinner, Mom.
449
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:19,904
All right, sweetheart.
450
00:17:25,111 --> 00:17:28,090
You're not gonna wear the
dress we bought together?
451
00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:31,015
Oh, no. I was just yanking
this for the dry cleaners.
452
00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:33,084
It's gotta go to
the dry cleaners.
453
00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:35,319
Oh, here it is. I'm
gonna wear this.
454
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:38,600
Oh, I'll give you some privacy.
455
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:39,924
OK.
456
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,360
Oy.
457
00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:50,334
Hello?
458
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:54,605
Oh, hi, Margy.
459
00:17:54,673 --> 00:17:57,913
No. No, dear, I absolutely
can't come over now.
460
00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:06,016
All right. Fine, fine.
461
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:08,263
But I can only
stay for 5 minutes.
462
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:16,227
Hey. Ohh!
463
00:18:16,295 --> 00:18:18,528
You look beautiful.
464
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:21,031
You're gonna get some
compliments tonight.
465
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,668
Yeah. I'm sure people
will be talking about it.
466
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:27,004
Hey, you going someplace?
467
00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:28,439
Uh, yes. Uh...
468
00:18:28,507 --> 00:18:31,642
I... I've got to go pick up
some diabetes medicine
469
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:32,976
for my Uncle Norman.
470
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:34,545
Right.
471
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,380
So, uh, well, have
a wonderful evening.
472
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:38,682
Thanks.
473
00:19:00,339 --> 00:19:03,640
Uncle Norman, my ass.
474
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,246
I would definitely
go with the blue.
475
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,781
Now, darling, I really
do have to get going.
476
00:19:10,849 --> 00:19:12,060
Oh, no, just stay a
few more minutes.
477
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:14,062
You haven't even
touched your wine.
478
00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:16,119
A few minutes, fine.
479
00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:21,559
Carrie?
480
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:22,693
Oh, my God!
481
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:25,462
Carrie, it's not what
you think. Oh, no?
482
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:27,264
She needed me.
I'm just in and out
483
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:28,833
to help with the
couch and the carpet.
484
00:19:28,902 --> 00:19:30,845
And to polish off a bottle
of chardonnay, I see.
485
00:19:30,869 --> 00:19:33,471
Get your coat. We're going home.
486
00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:35,539
Really, it's not
what you think...
487
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:36,940
Coat, now, Mom.
488
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,754
Well, can't she just stay to
help me pick out the tiles?
489
00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:40,856
OK, listen to me, sweetheart.
490
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,590
You had a mother-in-law
and you blew it, OK?
491
00:19:42,614 --> 00:19:44,259
This one's mine, so mitts off.
492
00:19:44,283 --> 00:19:45,850
What? What? Hello?
493
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:48,018
You're through, OK?
You're out of our lives.
494
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:50,654
Doug: ♪ Margy girl,
my heart's in a whirl ♪
495
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:55,025
♪ Tonight ♪
496
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:59,029
♪ I need you bad, oh, Margy ♪
497
00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:04,268
♪ I need you so,
oh, Margy girl ♪
498
00:20:04,336 --> 00:20:08,672
♪ Before we met, nothing
in my life was right ♪
499
00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:10,207
OK, you finished it.
500
00:20:10,276 --> 00:20:15,212
♪ But all that
changed with Margy ♪
501
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:18,248
♪ You've blown
away... Oh, Carrie ♪
502
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,059
Ladies.
503
00:20:34,199 --> 00:20:39,703
♪ Margy girl, my
heart's in a whirl tonight ♪
504
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:44,808
♪ I need you bad, oh, Margy ♪
505
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:50,113
♪ I need you so,
oh, Margy girl ♪
506
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:56,286
♪ Before we met, nothing
in my life was right ♪
507
00:20:56,355 --> 00:21:00,257
♪ But all that
changed with Margy ♪
508
00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:05,563
♪ You've blown me
away, oh, Margy ♪
509
00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:10,467
♪ Remember when we met
between math and Spanish ♪
510
00:21:12,471 --> 00:21:16,406
♪ You were all woman ♪
511
00:21:16,475 --> 00:21:18,042
♪ And what was I? ♪
512
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,487
♪ Well, let me tell
you what I was ♪
513
00:21:19,511 --> 00:21:21,545
♪ I was mannish ♪
514
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:25,082
♪ You were never lookin' finer ♪
515
00:21:25,150 --> 00:21:29,386
♪ Than the night we
went to Winky's Diner ♪
516
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:33,924
♪ We had onion
rings that were fried ♪
517
00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:37,227
♪ With love on the side ♪
518
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:41,198
♪ I knew my single
days were over ♪
519
00:21:41,266 --> 00:21:44,735
♪ Ridin' in your Chevy Nova ♪
520
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:50,007
♪ Margy, if you
ever said good-bye ♪
521
00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:54,444
♪ I'd just lay down and die ♪
36230
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