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1
00:00:02,734 --> 00:00:03,734
OKAY.
2
00:00:03,801 --> 00:00:04,767
NOW, THERE'S A VERY
FINE ART TO THIS,
3
00:00:04,834 --> 00:00:06,934
SO WATCH CLOSELY.
4
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,133
NOW, HOLD YOUR HAND OUT,
STICK YOUR FINGERS TOGETHER,
5
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,033
AND MAKE A LITTLE CUP.
6
00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:11,901
GOOD.
7
00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:13,868
OKAY, NOW PUT IT
UNDER YOUR ARMPIT,
8
00:00:13,934 --> 00:00:15,834
MAKE SURE THERE'S
A GOOD SEAL.
9
00:00:15,901 --> 00:00:17,567
NOW LET IT RIP.
10
00:00:17,634 --> 00:00:19,067
WOW!
11
00:00:19,133 --> 00:00:20,701
IT SOUNDS
LIKE A FART.
12
00:00:20,767 --> 00:00:23,501
YEAH. THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW
YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT.
13
00:00:23,567 --> 00:00:24,968
JIM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
14
00:00:25,033 --> 00:00:27,601
MAKING SURE THEY DON'T
HAVE BOYFRIENDS
TILL THEY'RE 15.
15
00:00:29,767 --> 00:00:31,868
HAH!
16
00:00:31,934 --> 00:00:33,934
OH, BABY.
17
00:00:36,367 --> 00:00:38,801
Jim:
READY, SET, GO!
18
00:00:38,868 --> 00:00:40,267
GO! GO! GO!
19
00:00:40,334 --> 00:00:41,400
OW!
20
00:00:41,467 --> 00:00:45,334
GO! GO! GO!
GO! GO! GO!
21
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:48,567
YAY!
22
00:00:48,634 --> 00:00:51,701
KYLE, YOU ARE SO STRONG.
23
00:00:51,767 --> 00:00:55,567
MAYBE I SHOULD START
BREAST-FEEDING, HUH?
24
00:00:55,634 --> 00:00:56,634
YEAH, THE WAY YOU EAT,
25
00:00:56,701 --> 00:00:58,133
YOU'D HAVE TO DO IT
EVERY THREE MINUTES.
26
00:00:59,634 --> 00:01:02,100
NICE.
Cheryl: OH!
27
00:01:02,167 --> 00:01:03,868
HEY, JIM,
LISTEN TO THIS--
28
00:01:03,934 --> 00:01:06,801
THE CHICAGO BEARS ARE
HAVING A CELEBRITY BOWL-OFF.
29
00:01:06,868 --> 00:01:09,734
WE CAN BOWL WITH ALL-PRO
LINEBACKER BRIAN URLACHER.
30
00:01:09,801 --> 00:01:11,868
WHEN'S THAT?
SATURDAY NIGHT.
31
00:01:11,934 --> 00:01:15,167
OH, SATURDAY NIGHT?
THAT'S CHERYL'S BIRTHDAY.
32
00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:19,133
WELL, YOU KNOW, CHERYL,
WE DON'T HAVE ANY PLANS.
33
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,300
COME ON, COME ON,
WE COULD BOWL,
34
00:01:21,367 --> 00:01:22,400
AND YOU CAN GO
SHOPPING.
35
00:01:22,467 --> 00:01:23,467
AT A BOWLING ALLEY?
36
00:01:23,534 --> 00:01:25,701
THEY GOT A PRO SHOP.
37
00:01:25,767 --> 00:01:28,033
I SO SEE
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
38
00:01:28,100 --> 00:01:29,200
THERE'S NO
BOWLING TOURNAMENT.
39
00:01:29,267 --> 00:01:30,400
YOU'RE JUST TRYING
TO LURE ME THERE
40
00:01:30,467 --> 00:01:32,334
FOR MY GREAT BIG
SURPRISE PARTY.
41
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:34,834
I AM SO FAR AHEAD OF YOU,
I COULD STOP FOR LUNCH.
42
00:01:34,901 --> 00:01:37,634
NO, CHERYL, REALLY,
THERE IS A TOURNAMENT.
43
00:01:37,701 --> 00:01:38,767
IT'S RIGHT HERE.
44
00:01:38,834 --> 00:01:40,367
OH, YEAH, WHAT IS THAT?
ONE OF THOSE GAG PAPERS
45
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,868
YOU GUYS HAD PRINTED UP?
[SCOFFS]
46
00:01:42,934 --> 00:01:45,467
OH, "TOXIC SPILL
SENDS 40 TO HOSPITAL."
47
00:01:45,534 --> 00:01:46,467
IT'S A NICE TOUCH.
48
00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:51,033
CHERYL, WE AREN'T DOING
ANYTHING FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.
49
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:52,734
OKAY, WE'RE NOT DOING
ANYTHING FOR MY BIRTHDAY.
50
00:01:52,801 --> 00:01:54,834
STOP IT!
OKAY,
I'LL STOP IT.
51
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:58,300
CHERYL, SEE, THIS IS WHY
BETTER-LOOKING GUYS
52
00:01:58,367 --> 00:01:59,467
DIDN'T MARRY YOU.
53
00:02:02,634 --> 00:02:05,133
THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON
FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.
54
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:06,968
WE CAN'T THROW YOU
A SURPRISE PARTY
55
00:02:07,033 --> 00:02:08,467
BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS
EXPECT ONE.
56
00:02:08,534 --> 00:02:11,234
THAT'S NO FUN! THAT'S WHY
I STOPPED TRYING TO DO IT.
57
00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:13,601
ALL RIGHT!
OKAY!
58
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:14,601
OKAY, I GET IT.
NO PARTY.
59
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:15,968
THAT'S RIGHT.
60
00:02:16,033 --> 00:02:16,968
BUT I'LL PROBABLY
LEAVE THE HOUSE
61
00:02:17,033 --> 00:02:18,334
FOR A FEW HOURS
ON SATURDAY AFTERNOON,
62
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:19,367
COME BACK AT, SAY, 7:00.
63
00:02:19,434 --> 00:02:20,367
THAT GOOD FOR YOU?
64
00:02:22,167 --> 00:02:23,734
MOMMY, HOW OLD
ARE YOU GONNA BE?
65
00:02:23,801 --> 00:02:25,033
HOW OLD WAS I LAST YEAR?
66
00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:26,234
25.
67
00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:28,133
WELL, THERE YOU GO.
68
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,400
HEY, SWEETIE,
WANNA GUESS HOW OLD I AM?
69
00:02:30,467 --> 00:02:31,934
NO.
70
00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:35,534
HEY, YOU GUYS!
HEY!
71
00:02:35,601 --> 00:02:37,000
I HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS.
72
00:02:37,067 --> 00:02:38,934
OH, YOU MOVING
TO ANOTHER CITY?
73
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,934
NO. I GOT A PROMOTION.
74
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,767
IN ANOTHER CITY?
75
00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:46,167
AS OF NOW, I'M ONLY
FIVE VICE-PRESIDENCIES
FROM THE TOP.
76
00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:48,000
DANA, THAT'S GREAT.
77
00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:50,434
YEAH. I WISH MY BOSS
WOULD GIVE ME A PROMOTION.
78
00:02:50,501 --> 00:02:51,701
I GAVE YOU A PROMOTION.
79
00:02:51,767 --> 00:02:53,501
HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED YOU'RE NOT
PAYING FOR COFFEE ANYMORE?
80
00:02:53,567 --> 00:02:55,501
I STILL PAY.
81
00:02:55,567 --> 00:02:58,634
WELL, IT TAKES TIME
FOR THE PAPERWORK
TO GO THROUGH.
82
00:02:58,701 --> 00:03:01,167
ANYWAY, MY OFFICE IS
THROWING ME A LITTLE SOIREE,
83
00:03:01,234 --> 00:03:04,334
SO IF YOU CAN SAVE THIS SUNDAY,
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
84
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,267
[LAUGHS KNOWINGLY]
85
00:03:06,334 --> 00:03:07,767
WHAT?
86
00:03:07,834 --> 00:03:11,300
OH, THAT PARTY
IS FOR ME,
AND YOU KNOW IT.
87
00:03:11,367 --> 00:03:13,634
NO, CHERYL, I REALLY
GOT A PROMOTION.
88
00:03:13,701 --> 00:03:14,634
OH, PLEASE.
89
00:03:14,701 --> 00:03:16,734
YOU'RE TERRIBLE
AT WHAT YOU DO.
90
00:03:18,801 --> 00:03:22,434
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
91
00:03:22,501 --> 00:03:24,200
HELLO?
92
00:03:24,267 --> 00:03:26,334
UH, YES, HE IS.
HE'S RIGHT HERE.
93
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:27,334
ME?
94
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,300
YEAH, IT'S
A LOU WHITAKER FOR YOU.
95
00:03:29,367 --> 00:03:31,667
THANK YOU.
MM-HMM.
96
00:03:31,734 --> 00:03:33,434
HEY, LOU.
97
00:03:33,501 --> 00:03:34,667
HOW YOU DOIN'?
98
00:03:34,734 --> 00:03:35,834
SURE.
99
00:03:35,901 --> 00:03:39,667
Chocolate raspberry.
100
00:03:39,734 --> 00:03:41,968
YEAH, NO,
THANKS FOR CALLING.
101
00:03:42,033 --> 00:03:44,567
ALL RIGHT. BYE-BYE.
102
00:03:44,634 --> 00:03:45,834
WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?
103
00:03:45,901 --> 00:03:48,634
UH, THAT'S, UH,
LOU FROM WORK.
HE'S THE TILE GUY.
104
00:03:48,701 --> 00:03:50,300
OH, WHY'D YOU SAY,
"CHOCOLATE RASPBERRY"?
105
00:03:50,367 --> 00:03:55,133
UM, WELL, HE'S THINKING
ABOUT BECOMING
A MALE STRIPPER,
106
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,334
AND HE WANTED TO RUN
SOME STAGE NAMES BY ME.
107
00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:58,334
I SEE.
108
00:03:58,400 --> 00:03:59,634
CHERYL, YOU KNOW,
109
00:03:59,701 --> 00:04:00,834
WHAT MY GUYS DO
IN THEIR OFF TIME
110
00:04:00,901 --> 00:04:02,501
IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
111
00:04:02,567 --> 00:04:04,701
THEN WHY'D YOU MAKE ME
QUIT SQUARE-DANCING?
112
00:04:04,767 --> 00:04:06,567
BECAUSE YOU WERE
SQUARE-DANCING.
113
00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:11,033
JIM, WOULD YOU PLEASE GIVE
THE GIRLS A BATH FOR ME?
114
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:13,234
WHY?
THEY SMELL FINE.
115
00:04:14,801 --> 00:04:16,501
HONEY,
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY WEEK.
116
00:04:16,567 --> 00:04:17,534
OH, IT'S
YOUR BIRTHDAY WEEK,
117
00:04:17,601 --> 00:04:18,601
SO I GOTTA GIVE
THEM A BATH.
118
00:04:18,667 --> 00:04:19,801
IT'S YOUR
BIRTHDAY WEEK.
119
00:04:19,868 --> 00:04:20,901
ALL RIGHT, GIRLS,
COME ON.
120
00:04:20,968 --> 00:04:23,234
BUT I JUST WANT YOU
TO KNOW, CHERYL,
121
00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:27,000
ON MY BIRTHDAY WEEK,
YOU GOTTA GIVE ME
A BATH...
122
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:30,167
AND I'M
A VERY DIRTY BOY.
123
00:04:30,234 --> 00:04:33,534
THANKS, HONEY.
THANK YOU.
124
00:04:33,601 --> 00:04:35,167
YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME
WHAT HE'S DOING
FOR MY BIRTHDAY
125
00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:36,467
AND YOU'RE GONNA
TELL ME RIGHT NOW.
126
00:04:38,033 --> 00:04:39,734
OH, MY GOD,
KYLE'S WALKING!
127
00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:41,000
WHAT?
128
00:04:43,834 --> 00:04:44,801
AH...HA HA.
129
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,400
ALL RIGHT.
CUT THE CRAP.
130
00:04:47,467 --> 00:04:50,067
JIM'S BEEN GETTING CALLS
FROM LANCE PARRISH,
JIM RICE,
131
00:04:50,133 --> 00:04:52,067
WILLIE HERNANDEZ,
AND NOW LOU WHITAKER.
132
00:04:52,133 --> 00:04:54,133
SO?
THEY'RE OBVIOUSLY
CODE NAMES!
133
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,200
THOSE ARE ALL PLAYERS
FROM THE 1984 AMERICAN
LEAGUE ALL-STARS.
134
00:04:57,267 --> 00:04:58,334
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT?
135
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,300
THERE'S A 15-YEAR-OLD
SPORTS ILLUSTRATED
136
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:01,434
IN THE BATHROOM.
137
00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:02,434
WHAT'S GOING ON?
138
00:05:02,501 --> 00:05:05,734
WELL...
139
00:05:05,801 --> 00:05:07,033
WHAT?
140
00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:09,300
UM...ALL RIGHT.
141
00:05:09,367 --> 00:05:11,300
THE TRUTH IS...
142
00:05:11,367 --> 00:05:12,400
Cheryl: OH!!
143
00:05:19,534 --> 00:05:21,167
AAAAH!
NO! OH! AAH!
144
00:05:21,234 --> 00:05:22,801
OH, GOD, NO! OH!
145
00:05:22,868 --> 00:05:23,801
TELL ME!
146
00:05:23,868 --> 00:05:25,000
I DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING!
147
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:26,000
[PREPARES TO SPIT]
148
00:05:26,067 --> 00:05:27,000
AAAH!
ALL RIGHT!
149
00:05:28,868 --> 00:05:31,133
THE PARTY'S FRIDAY,
8:00, DRESS NICE.
150
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,234
FRIDAY? WHY FRIDAY?
MY BIRTHDAY'S ON SATURDAY.
151
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:34,434
HE WAS TRYING TO
THROW YOU OFF.
152
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,200
HAH! SUCH AN AMATEUR!
153
00:05:36,267 --> 00:05:37,667
BEER AND WINE?
154
00:05:37,734 --> 00:05:38,901
I DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING.
155
00:05:38,968 --> 00:05:40,133
[PREPARES TO SPIT]
I SWEAR TO GOD!
156
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:41,133
ALL RIGHT!
157
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,200
CASH BAR! DAMN IT!
I HATE YOU!
158
00:05:45,267 --> 00:05:46,234
HEY, IS THAT
NEW LIPSTICK?
159
00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:47,267
YEAH, YOU LIKE IT?
160
00:05:47,334 --> 00:05:48,267
IT'S GREAT.
ISN'T IT GOOD?
161
00:05:48,334 --> 00:05:49,734
YEAH.
162
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:58,033
Cheryl: OKAY,
HERE I COME.
163
00:05:58,100 --> 00:05:59,634
ALL RIGHT...
HOW DO I LOOK?
164
00:05:59,701 --> 00:06:01,634
PRETEND I SHAVED MY LEGS.
165
00:06:01,701 --> 00:06:03,634
YOU LOOK GREAT!
WILL YOU PLEASE
JUST GO UPSTAIRS?
166
00:06:03,701 --> 00:06:04,767
I'M GETTING
REALLY NERVOUS.
167
00:06:04,834 --> 00:06:06,400
DON'T WORRY. JIM SAID
HE WOULDN'T BE HOME
168
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:08,501
TILL 6:00 TONIGHT.
OKAY...
169
00:06:08,567 --> 00:06:10,434
NOW CHECK OUT
MY SURPRISE ACT
FOR THE PARTY.
170
00:06:10,501 --> 00:06:12,100
[GASPS]
171
00:06:12,167 --> 00:06:14,934
OH! A SURPRISE PARTY!
172
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,801
OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE ALL HERE!
173
00:06:17,868 --> 00:06:18,868
[GASPING]
174
00:06:18,934 --> 00:06:21,834
I'M NOT GONNA CRY!
I'M NOT GONNA CRY!
175
00:06:21,901 --> 00:06:25,200
[SOBBING]
OH, YES, I AM!
176
00:06:25,267 --> 00:06:26,334
[NORMAL VOICE]
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
177
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,634
THAT'S EXACTLY
HOW YOU REACTED
WHEN I GOT YOU
178
00:06:28,701 --> 00:06:29,767
THOSE SALT
AND PEPPER SHAKERS.
179
00:06:29,834 --> 00:06:32,868
ARE YOU KIDDING?!
I LOVE THOSE!
180
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,901
REALLY?
NO. SEE HOW GOOD
I AM?
181
00:06:36,701 --> 00:06:39,000
CHERYL...
182
00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:40,434
WOW!
183
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:43,667
YOU LOOK HOT!
DANA, GET OUT.
184
00:06:43,734 --> 00:06:46,834
Y-Y-Y-YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO BE HOME TILL 6:00!
185
00:06:46,901 --> 00:06:50,601
SO WHAT? I'LL KILL
AN HOUR IN THE BATHROOM,
AND IT'LL BE 6:00.
186
00:06:50,667 --> 00:06:53,434
WOW, YOU LOOK GREAT.
187
00:06:53,501 --> 00:06:56,200
YOU GOTTA SHAVE
YOUR LEGS,
BUT, UH...
188
00:06:56,267 --> 00:06:58,267
WHAT'S
WITH THE GET-UP?
189
00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:03,200
UH, I-I-I JUST LIKE TO
GET DOLLED UP FOR MY MAN.
190
00:07:03,267 --> 00:07:05,000
YEAH! YEAH, JIM.
191
00:07:05,067 --> 00:07:06,934
YOU WORK HARD
ALL DAY.
YOU DESERVE IT.
192
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,701
CHERYL'S
A VERY LUCKY WOMAN.
193
00:07:08,767 --> 00:07:12,968
DON'T I KNOW IT!
WELCOME HOME, HONEY.
194
00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:15,467
YEAH.
195
00:07:15,534 --> 00:07:18,667
WELCOME HOME!
196
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,868
YOU TOLD HER ABOUT
THE PARTY, DIDN'T YOU?
197
00:07:30,934 --> 00:07:33,467
NO, I DIDN'T.
YES, YOU DID!
198
00:07:33,534 --> 00:07:35,934
YOU NEVER KISSED ME,
NOT EVEN AT MY WEDDING!
199
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,400
SHE WAS GONNA
SPIT ON ME!
200
00:07:38,467 --> 00:07:40,033
I KNEW I COULDN'T
TRUST YOU! YOU'RE WEAK!
201
00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:41,801
WHAT, ARE YOU SCARED
OF A LITTLE SPIT?
202
00:07:41,868 --> 00:07:43,100
OH, IF I WAS SCARED
OF SPIT,
203
00:07:43,167 --> 00:07:44,767
I WOULDN'T STAND
THIS CLOSE
WHEN YOU TALK.
204
00:07:44,834 --> 00:07:45,767
OH, REALLY?!
YEAH!
205
00:07:45,834 --> 00:07:47,667
WELL, YOU JUST SOLD ME
UP THE RIVER!
206
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:49,534
IT'S DOWN THE RIVER,
IDIOT!
207
00:07:49,601 --> 00:07:50,534
OH, I'M THE IDIOT!
208
00:07:50,601 --> 00:07:51,534
I TOLD YOU
SHE'D FIND OUT!
209
00:07:51,601 --> 00:07:52,767
SHE ALWAYS
FINDS OUT!
210
00:07:52,834 --> 00:07:55,000
NO! SHE FOUND OUT
BECAUSE YOU BLEW IT!
211
00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:56,534
YOU OPENED YOUR BIG YAP!
212
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:59,234
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I CAN NEVER TRUST YOU
WITH ANYTHING EVER AGAIN!
213
00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:00,367
FINE!
EXCEPT THE KIDS,
214
00:08:00,434 --> 00:08:02,033
BECAUSE ON SUNDAY,
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO COME OVER
215
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:04,434
AND WATCH THE KIDS
WHILE CHERYL'S WORKING OUT
AND I'M STILL SLEEPING.
216
00:08:04,501 --> 00:08:05,801
YOU CAN DO THAT,
BUT NOTHING ELSE!
217
00:08:05,868 --> 00:08:08,767
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M SORRY
I EVER HELPED YOU
218
00:08:08,834 --> 00:08:10,234
WITH YOUR STUPID PARTY!
219
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:11,667
OH, STUPID PARTY.
WELL, GUESS WHAT?
220
00:08:11,734 --> 00:08:13,434
THERE ISN'T GONNA BE
A STUPID PARTY ANYMORE!
221
00:08:13,501 --> 00:08:14,434
IT'S OVER!
222
00:08:14,501 --> 00:08:15,934
FINE BY ME!
ONE MORE NIGHT
223
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,667
I DON'T HAVE TO
WATCH YOU CHEW!
224
00:08:17,734 --> 00:08:19,567
OH, WELL, ONE MORE NIGHT
I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT YOU!
225
00:08:19,634 --> 00:08:20,667
DANA,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
226
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:23,901
OH, NO!
WHAT DID YOU DO?!
227
00:08:23,968 --> 00:08:26,834
WHAT DID I DO?!
THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
228
00:08:26,901 --> 00:08:29,767
YOU COULDN'T JUST LET IT GO!
YOU HAD TO KNOW, HUH?!
229
00:08:29,834 --> 00:08:33,033
KNOW, KNOW, KNOW --
NOSY, THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE!
230
00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:34,901
YOU'RE NOSY! YOU'RE NOSY!
231
00:08:34,968 --> 00:08:37,634
YOU DON'T EVEN NEED
THE REST OF YOUR FACE!
232
00:08:37,701 --> 00:08:40,267
SAID THE STOMACH
WITH FEET.
233
00:08:40,334 --> 00:08:42,234
OH...OH,
THAT'S VERY FUNNY, CHERYL.
234
00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:44,868
WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY
BECAUSE NOW THE PARTY'S OVER.
235
00:08:44,934 --> 00:08:46,634
IT'S BLOWN,
IT'S CANCELED.
236
00:08:46,701 --> 00:08:48,067
NO, NO, HONEY,
HONEY, HONEY.
NO!
237
00:08:48,133 --> 00:08:49,934
HONEY, I CAN ACT
SURPRISED! LOOK!
238
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,200
OHH!
OH, THAT'S AWFUL!
239
00:08:52,267 --> 00:08:53,367
AWFUL!
240
00:08:53,434 --> 00:08:54,434
HEY, HONEY,
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
241
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:55,667
WELL, YOU'RE GONNA
FIND OUT ANYWAY,
242
00:08:55,734 --> 00:08:56,767
I MIGHT AS WELL TELL YOU.
243
00:08:56,834 --> 00:08:58,267
I'M GOING TO THE KITCHEN.
244
00:08:58,334 --> 00:09:00,734
HONEY, HONEY.
OH, SWEETHEART,
COME HERE.
245
00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:02,067
I FEEL TERRIBLE.
246
00:09:02,133 --> 00:09:04,834
I WANNA DO
SOMETHING.
WHAT CAN I DO?
247
00:09:04,901 --> 00:09:06,968
IT'S TOO LATE.
YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING.
248
00:09:07,033 --> 00:09:08,901
OH, COME ON.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
249
00:09:08,968 --> 00:09:10,534
WE'LL HAVE A PARTY
JUST FOR US.
250
00:09:10,601 --> 00:09:12,267
I'LL DO EVERYTHING.
I'LL MAKE YOU A CAKE.
251
00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:14,701
OHH, I DON'T KNOW.
252
00:09:14,767 --> 00:09:17,200
WHAT KIND OF CAKE
DO YOU WANT?
253
00:09:17,267 --> 00:09:19,133
I DON'T KNOW.
254
00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:22,167
HOW ABOUT A CAKE LIKE THE ONE
WE HAD AT OUR WEDDING?
255
00:09:22,234 --> 00:09:24,601
A WEDDING CAKE?
256
00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:27,033
HONEY, THAT'S GOT,
LIKE, SIX TIERS!
257
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,200
I'D HAVE TO
START BAKING NOW.
258
00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:30,667
WELL, CHERYL,
YOU REALLY MESSED UP.
259
00:09:30,734 --> 00:09:32,367
FINE.
260
00:09:32,434 --> 00:09:33,567
AND A MOON BOUNCE.
261
00:09:33,634 --> 00:09:35,334
YEAH, RIGHT,
YOU'RE GONNA
BOUNCE UP AND DOWN
262
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,501
IN A MOON BOUNCE.
263
00:09:36,567 --> 00:09:38,534
NO...
264
00:09:38,601 --> 00:09:39,868
YOU ARE.
265
00:09:42,467 --> 00:09:44,033
OKAY, CHERYL,
MAYBE I WAS WRONG
266
00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:46,334
ABOUT THAT SURPRISE FACE
YOU DID.
267
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:47,434
DO IT AGAIN.
268
00:09:47,501 --> 00:09:49,467
OKAY. AHHHH!
269
00:09:50,601 --> 00:09:52,734
THAT IS REALLY AWFUL.
270
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:04,234
ONLY JIM WOULD MISS
HIS OWN WIFE'S
BIRTHDAY PARTY.
271
00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:07,067
YOU SURE HE KNOWS
THE ADDRESS?
272
00:10:07,133 --> 00:10:09,067
DANA, HE HAD
A PLUMBING EMERGENCY.
273
00:10:09,133 --> 00:10:11,167
THIS IS WHAT IT'S
LIKE BEING MARRIED
TO A CONTRACTOR.
274
00:10:11,234 --> 00:10:12,801
YOU KNOW,
IT'S LIKE BEING
MARRIED TO A DOCTOR.
275
00:10:12,868 --> 00:10:16,167
YEAH, A DOCTOR
WHO CAN BURP THE ALPHABET.
276
00:10:16,234 --> 00:10:17,334
HOW'S YOUR HUSBAND?
277
00:10:19,601 --> 00:10:23,834
OH, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
OH, THE KIDS
ARE ASLEEP.
278
00:10:23,901 --> 00:10:26,701
I'M SO SORRY
I'M LATE.
279
00:10:26,767 --> 00:10:27,834
IT'S OKAY.
YOUR DINNER'S IN THE OVEN.
280
00:10:27,901 --> 00:10:28,968
GREAT.
281
00:10:29,033 --> 00:10:31,400
SO, WHAT'S THE DEAL
WITH WARMING IT UP?
282
00:10:31,467 --> 00:10:33,267
YOU TURN ON THE OVEN.
283
00:10:33,334 --> 00:10:34,767
GREAT!
284
00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:37,467
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY.
I'LL DO IT.
285
00:10:39,067 --> 00:10:40,200
HERE, CHERYL.
286
00:10:40,267 --> 00:10:42,934
OHH!
IT'S A VEGGIE
SHOOTER-PLUS.
287
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:43,934
WOW!
288
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,801
IT'S LIKE A GUN
THAT SHOOTS COLESLAW.
289
00:10:45,868 --> 00:10:48,901
OH! THANK YOU.
WHOA.
290
00:10:48,968 --> 00:10:51,801
WHOA! WHY DO YOU
SMELL LIKE BEER
AND CIGARS?
291
00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:57,734
WHY ARE YOU WEARING
BOWLING SHOES?
292
00:10:57,801 --> 00:10:59,934
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
293
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,300
THIS THING...
294
00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:03,300
THIS THING IS SO TOUGH,
YEAH.
295
00:11:03,367 --> 00:11:04,367
IN THE INFOMERCIAL,
296
00:11:04,434 --> 00:11:07,634
ROBERT URICH DRIVES
A JEEP OVER IT.
297
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:09,567
WHERE DID YOU GUYS
GO, ANDY?
298
00:11:09,634 --> 00:11:11,234
I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT.
299
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:13,634
[PREPARES TO SPIT]
OKAY, OKAY!
300
00:11:13,701 --> 00:11:16,033
WE WENT BOWLING
WITH THE BEARS.
301
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:17,100
WHAT?!
YEAH!
302
00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:18,400
BRIAN URLACHER
WAS THERE.
303
00:11:18,467 --> 00:11:19,701
LOOK, HE SIGNED ME.
304
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:24,100
THE WHOLE TEAM
COULD'VE SIGNED THAT.
305
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,634
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU BLEW OFF MY BIRTHDAY.
306
00:11:28,701 --> 00:11:31,200
HE'S GOT ONE, TOO!
HE'S GOT ONE, TOO!
307
00:11:31,267 --> 00:11:34,133
ANDY, I WAS ONLY GONE
FOR 30 SECONDS!
308
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,834
YOU WANNA SEE HIM DANCE?
309
00:11:54,834 --> 00:11:56,501
DANA, WOULD YOU PLEASE
TAKE THE GIRLS UP
310
00:11:56,567 --> 00:11:57,901
AND GIVE THEM THEIR BATH
AND PUT THEM TO BED?
311
00:11:57,968 --> 00:11:59,100
YEAH, SURE.
THANK YOU, SWEETIE.
312
00:11:59,167 --> 00:12:01,200
BUT WE WANT CAKE.
313
00:12:01,267 --> 00:12:03,300
OH, THAT IS SO CUTE.
314
00:12:03,367 --> 00:12:06,434
HONEY,
CAN YOU DO THAT AGAIN?
315
00:12:06,501 --> 00:12:08,667
BUT WE WANT CAKE.
316
00:12:10,834 --> 00:12:12,834
H-H-H-HEY.
HERE. HAVE IT
IN THE TUB.
317
00:12:12,901 --> 00:12:15,667
YAY.
318
00:12:15,734 --> 00:12:19,734
SO, UH, WE CAN EAT
IN THE TUB AGAIN?
319
00:12:19,801 --> 00:12:21,934
THAT WAS THE MOST
INCONSIDERATE,
320
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,868
THOUGHTLESS,
SELF-CENTERED THING
YOU HAVE EVER DONE!
321
00:12:24,934 --> 00:12:26,167
OHH!
322
00:12:26,234 --> 00:12:29,667
Video alone cannot
convey the tension
in this room.
323
00:12:29,734 --> 00:12:31,033
WILL YOU TURN
THAT THING OFF?!
324
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,868
NO, NO, I WANT YOU
TO KEEP IT ON,
325
00:12:32,934 --> 00:12:35,501
BECAUSE I WANT HER
TO SEE THAT SHE
REALLY DOES DO THIS!
326
00:12:35,567 --> 00:12:37,367
OH!
CHERYL, COME ON.
327
00:12:37,434 --> 00:12:40,334
THIS THING TONIGHT WAS
A ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME CHANCE--
328
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,901
BOWLING WITH THE BEARS!
329
00:12:41,968 --> 00:12:43,467
I MEAN,
IT WAS FOR CHARITY.
330
00:12:43,534 --> 00:12:45,767
DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT
HELPING THOSE PEOPLE?
331
00:12:45,834 --> 00:12:47,300
WHICH PEOPLE, JIM?
332
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:48,968
THOSE PEOPLE...
333
00:12:49,033 --> 00:12:52,334
THAT GOT THAT PROBLEM.
334
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,601
YOU KNOW, THEIR INSIDES
AND STUFF--WHATEVER IT IS.
335
00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:56,601
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT.
336
00:12:56,667 --> 00:12:57,834
NO! THIS WAS
MY BIRTHDAY!
337
00:12:57,901 --> 00:12:59,100
IT WAS IMPORTANT
TO ME!
338
00:12:59,167 --> 00:13:00,167
YEAH?!
YEAH!
339
00:13:00,234 --> 00:13:01,234
WELL, IF IT WASN'T
FOR YOUR IDIOT BROTHER
340
00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:03,300
NOT BEING ABLE TO
KEEP HIS YAP SHUT --
341
00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:05,367
HEY, HEY, HEY!
HE IS NOT AN IDIOT!
342
00:13:05,434 --> 00:13:06,400
NO?
HE'S SPINELESS!
343
00:13:06,467 --> 00:13:09,067
Ouch.
344
00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:11,467
AND HOW ABOUT YOUR SISTER?
345
00:13:11,534 --> 00:13:12,934
YOUR SISTER
CAN'T KEEP A SECRET!
346
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,067
IF SHE COULD'VE KEPT
THE SECRET, YOU KNOW,
347
00:13:15,133 --> 00:13:17,367
YOU COULD BE ENJOYING
A SURPRISE PARTY TONIGHT
348
00:13:17,434 --> 00:13:19,801
IN-IN-IN PARIS!
349
00:13:19,868 --> 00:13:21,534
WE WERE NOT GOING
TO PARIS!
350
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:23,467
WELL, YOU'LL NEVER FIND
THAT OUT NOW, WILL YOU?
351
00:13:23,534 --> 00:13:25,934
HEY, HEY, HEY!
WHY ARE YOU MAKING
THIS MY FAULT?
352
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,033
WHY NOT?
I'M THE ONE
353
00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:28,534
WHOSE SURPRISE PARTY
GOT RUINED!
OH, YOU?!
354
00:13:28,601 --> 00:13:30,634
I'M THE ONE WHO HAD TO MAKE
MY OWN BIRTHDAY DINNER!
355
00:13:30,701 --> 00:13:33,400
OH, FINE! FINE!
FINE!
356
00:13:33,467 --> 00:13:37,033
I WILL NEVER, EVER
THROW ANOTHER PARTY,
357
00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:38,467
PLAN ANOTHER PARTY,
358
00:13:38,534 --> 00:13:40,767
GO TO ANOTHER
PARTY AGAIN
359
00:13:40,834 --> 00:13:43,067
WITH YOU, FOR YOU!
360
00:13:43,133 --> 00:13:44,834
WELL, THANK YOU!
361
00:13:44,901 --> 00:13:46,033
YOU'RE WELCOME!
362
00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:48,133
MAYBE I'LL ACTUALLY HAVE
A GOOD TIME ON MY BIRTHDAY!
363
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:49,534
FINE!
FINE!
364
00:13:49,601 --> 00:13:50,567
OH, YEAH?!
YEAH.
365
00:13:50,634 --> 00:13:52,100
SH-UUUHH!
366
00:13:56,367 --> 00:13:58,734
COULD SOMEONE STORM OUT?
WE'RE DYING HERE.
367
00:13:58,801 --> 00:14:00,467
WITH PLEASURE!
368
00:14:02,334 --> 00:14:04,334
OH!
369
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,901
OKAY, CUT. THAT'S A WRAP.
NICE WORK, PEOPLE.
370
00:14:13,067 --> 00:14:14,534
MOMMY?
HMM?
371
00:14:14,601 --> 00:14:16,167
CAN WE GO WITH YOU?
372
00:14:16,234 --> 00:14:17,634
OH, NO, SWEETIE.
373
00:14:17,701 --> 00:14:19,534
THIS IS A GROWN-UP PARTY
FOR AUNT DANA.
374
00:14:19,601 --> 00:14:21,300
SO I WANT YOU GIRLS
TO BE REALLY GOOD
375
00:14:21,367 --> 00:14:24,300
AND LISTEN TO MRS. BISHOP
WHEN SHE'S HERE, OKAY?
376
00:14:24,367 --> 00:14:25,467
OKAY?
377
00:14:25,534 --> 00:14:26,501
WE DON'T LIKE HER.
378
00:14:26,567 --> 00:14:29,968
SHE SMELLS
LIKE CORN.
379
00:14:30,033 --> 00:14:33,334
YEAH. WELL, YOUR DADDY ONLY
WANTS TO PAY $3 AN HOUR
FOR BABYSITTING.
380
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,367
GOOD-SMELLING
BABYSITTERS COST MORE.
381
00:14:36,434 --> 00:14:38,667
ALL RIGHT, NOW I WANT YOU GIRLS
TO GO GET YOUR SNACK,
382
00:14:38,734 --> 00:14:41,501
AND I'LL PUT IN YOUR VIDEO,
OKAY? EXCELLENT.
383
00:14:41,567 --> 00:14:42,801
Jim: HEY, GIRLS.
384
00:14:42,868 --> 00:14:44,634
Both: HI, DADDY!
HOW ARE YOU, BABY?
385
00:14:44,701 --> 00:14:46,601
JIM, I THOUGHT
YOU WERE GETTING
DRESSED.
386
00:14:46,667 --> 00:14:48,567
THE SITTER'S
GONNA BE HERE
IN 10 MINUTES.
387
00:14:48,634 --> 00:14:50,234
I'M NOT GONNA GO
TO THAT DANA THING.
388
00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:51,501
WHAT? WHY NOT?
389
00:14:51,567 --> 00:14:55,000
IT'S SUNDAY.
"ALIAS" IS ON.
390
00:14:55,067 --> 00:14:56,334
YOU CAN TAPE IT.
391
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:57,834
AH, IT'S NOT THE SAME.
392
00:14:57,901 --> 00:15:01,467
I LIKE TO ENJOY IT
WITH THE REST
OF THE COUNTRY.
393
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,434
OKAY, JIM, COME ON.
394
00:15:03,501 --> 00:15:05,000
DON'T--DON'T
DO THIS, PLEASE.
395
00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:06,367
I KNOW, I KNOW,
HONEY,
396
00:15:06,434 --> 00:15:08,167
WE'RE IN A LITTLE BIT
OF A THING RIGHT NOW,
397
00:15:08,234 --> 00:15:11,167
BUT-BUT...
BUT WE CAN'T CANCEL.
398
00:15:11,234 --> 00:15:13,400
DANA IS FAMILY,
AND WE PROMISED
WE'D GO.
399
00:15:13,467 --> 00:15:14,934
NO, HONEY, YOU PROMISED.
400
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,167
SHE'S YOUR FAMILY.
401
00:15:17,234 --> 00:15:19,534
OH, COME ON.
402
00:15:19,601 --> 00:15:21,934
OH, COME ON, CHERYL.
403
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,267
DANA DOESN'T CARE
WHAT'S IMPORTANT TO ME.
404
00:15:24,334 --> 00:15:26,901
YOU KNOW, WHY SHOULD I CARE
WHAT'S IMPORTANT TO HER?
405
00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:30,734
BECAUSE IT'S
IMPORTANT TO ME,
AND I'M YOUR WIFE.
406
00:15:33,234 --> 00:15:35,400
I'M NOT MAKING
THE CONNECTION.
407
00:15:37,634 --> 00:15:38,868
FINE.
408
00:15:38,934 --> 00:15:41,300
CANCEL THE SITTER
AND STAY HOME
WITH THE KIDS.
409
00:15:41,367 --> 00:15:43,334
WELL, I LOVE STAYING HOME
WITH THE KIDS,
410
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,734
BUT WHY CANCEL THE SITTER?
411
00:15:45,801 --> 00:15:49,000
OKAY. YOU KNOW,
I DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU DO.
412
00:15:49,067 --> 00:15:50,934
I AM GONNA GO OUT
AND HAVE FUN.
413
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:55,534
I AM GOING TO EAT
AND DRINK AND PARTY
AND FLIRT
414
00:15:55,601 --> 00:15:56,834
BECAUSE
I JUST TURNED 25,
415
00:15:56,901 --> 00:15:59,434
AND I AM GONNA ACT
LIKE IT.
416
00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:03,267
HEY, I GOT WEDDING CAKE,
"ALIAS," AND MRS. BISHOP.
417
00:16:03,334 --> 00:16:05,767
THE NIGHT BELONGS
TO ME, BABY.
418
00:16:17,834 --> 00:16:19,234
UH, EXCUSE ME.
419
00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:20,367
YEAH?
420
00:16:20,434 --> 00:16:22,400
UM, I'M SUPPOSED
TO MEET A BIG GROUP HERE
421
00:16:22,467 --> 00:16:24,000
FOR A PARTY FOR MY SISTER.
422
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,767
IS THIS ORIGINAL EDDIE'S
STEAK HOUSE?
423
00:16:25,834 --> 00:16:27,834
YES, BUT IT'S THE OTHER
ORIGINAL EDDIE'S.
424
00:16:27,901 --> 00:16:29,701
THE ORIGINAL
ORIGINAL EDDIE'S--
425
00:16:29,767 --> 00:16:31,501
WAY OVER
ON THE WEST SIDE.
426
00:16:31,567 --> 00:16:33,601
THAT'S TERRIFIC.
427
00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:34,767
IS THE KITCHEN STILL OPEN?
428
00:16:34,834 --> 00:16:36,701
YES, IT IS.
ALL RIGHT,
GIVE ME A SCOTCH.
429
00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:43,033
OHH.
430
00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:44,934
"DEAR CHERYL,
TOOK YOUR LAST $20.
431
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,968
"NEEDED LOTTERY TICKETS.
FEELING LUCKY.
432
00:16:47,033 --> 00:16:48,901
LOVE, JIM."
433
00:16:48,968 --> 00:16:50,601
THAT IS SO GREAT.
434
00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:52,467
I DON'T EVEN HAVE CASH
TO PAY FOR MY DRINK.
435
00:16:52,534 --> 00:16:53,634
I'M IN THE WRONG PLACE.
436
00:16:53,701 --> 00:16:56,868
YOU KNOW, I HAVE JUST
MESSED EVERYTHING UP.
437
00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:58,701
I'M FIGHTING
WITH MY HUSBAND.
438
00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:02,267
I ALMOST SPIT
ON MY BROTHER AND MY SISTER.
439
00:17:02,334 --> 00:17:04,667
AND I ATE, LIKE,
HALF A WEDDING CAKE.
440
00:17:04,734 --> 00:17:08,767
I MEAN, THIS HAS JUST BEEN
A HORRIBLE BIRTHDAY WEEKEND.
441
00:17:08,834 --> 00:17:11,000
I HOPE 26 IS BETTER.
442
00:17:11,067 --> 00:17:12,501
YEAH.
443
00:17:12,567 --> 00:17:14,767
YOU'RE 25?
444
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,133
YES, SHE IS.
445
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,400
SURPRISE!
SURPRISE!
SURPRISE!
446
00:17:21,901 --> 00:17:24,100
GOTCHA. GOTCHA, BABY.
447
00:17:24,167 --> 00:17:26,267
GOTCHA, GOTCHA, GOTCHA.
I'M THE MASTER!
448
00:17:26,334 --> 00:17:28,000
OH, MY GOD!
A SURPRISE PARTY?
449
00:17:28,067 --> 00:17:29,334
Jim: UH-HUH.
OHH...
450
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,934
I WAS SO MAD!
451
00:17:32,033 --> 00:17:33,334
YEAH?
452
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,267
[CRYING]
AND NOW I'M SO HAPPY!
453
00:17:36,334 --> 00:17:38,501
AND YOU!
I HATED YOU!
454
00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:40,200
I KNOW!
I KNOW, I KNOW!
455
00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:41,868
AND NOW I LOVE YOU!
456
00:17:41,934 --> 00:17:44,067
AW, CHERYL!
457
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,601
WE FOOLED YOU.
458
00:17:49,667 --> 00:17:51,501
WE FOOLED MOMMY.
459
00:17:51,567 --> 00:17:53,434
YES, YOU DID.
460
00:17:55,734 --> 00:17:58,767
WAIT, SO ALL THIS HORRIBLE,
SELFISH BEHAVIOR
461
00:17:58,834 --> 00:18:00,467
WAS JUST AN ACT?
462
00:18:00,534 --> 00:18:01,701
YEAH, YEAH,
THE WHOLE THING--
463
00:18:01,767 --> 00:18:02,834
THE ARGUMENT
WITH DANA,
464
00:18:02,901 --> 00:18:04,901
AND ANDY
SPILLING THE BEANS.
THE WHOLE THING.
465
00:18:04,968 --> 00:18:06,567
WHAT ABOUT
YOUR PROMOTION?
466
00:18:06,634 --> 00:18:08,834
FAKE. I'M TERRIBLE AT MY JOB.
ISN'T IT GREAT?
467
00:18:08,901 --> 00:18:10,767
OHH, HONEY!
468
00:18:10,834 --> 00:18:12,901
SEE, CHERYL,
YOU'RE WAY
TOO SMART.
469
00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:15,334
SO IN ORDER TO KEEP
YOU OFF BALANCE,
470
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,334
I HAD TO CONSTANTLY
ANNOY YOU.
471
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,801
YOU'VE BEEN PLANNING
THIS SINCE THE DAY
WE GOT MARRIED?
472
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,734
HEY, WHAT ABOUT BOWLING
WITH THE BEARS?
473
00:18:26,801 --> 00:18:28,767
OH, THAT WAS ALL
PART OF THE PLAN,
474
00:18:28,834 --> 00:18:30,367
RIGHT, MR. URLACHER?
475
00:18:30,434 --> 00:18:31,868
HELLO.
476
00:18:31,934 --> 00:18:33,033
HI.
477
00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:34,367
IT'S TRUE.
THE WHOLE RUSE WAS
478
00:18:34,434 --> 00:18:36,567
A DELICIOUS EXERCISE
IN DECEPTION.
479
00:18:38,267 --> 00:18:40,868
NOW, WHERE'S THE SICK KID
I'M SUPPOSED TO MEET?
480
00:18:40,934 --> 00:18:43,367
UH, ANDY, THE--
THE SICK KID...
481
00:18:43,434 --> 00:18:46,334
YEAH, ABOUT THAT...
482
00:18:48,367 --> 00:18:51,734
OH, SWEETHEART,
THANK YOU.
483
00:18:51,801 --> 00:18:54,167
OH, BABY, I JUST
LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
484
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,601
OH, I LOVE YOU MORE.
485
00:18:57,801 --> 00:18:59,434
NOW...
YEAH?
486
00:18:59,501 --> 00:19:00,434
I WANT YOU
TO REMEMBER--
487
00:19:00,501 --> 00:19:01,467
HEY.
488
00:19:01,534 --> 00:19:02,901
I WANT YOU
TO REMEMBER
489
00:19:02,968 --> 00:19:05,133
NEXT TIME
THAT YOU THINK
490
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:06,767
THAT I'M, LIKE,
BEING SELFISH
491
00:19:06,834 --> 00:19:08,601
OR DUMB
OR ANNOYING...
RIGHT.
492
00:19:08,667 --> 00:19:09,767
TAKE A MOMENT
TO THINK,
493
00:19:09,834 --> 00:19:12,300
"IS JIM DOING
THIS FOR ME?"
494
00:19:12,367 --> 00:19:14,567
HERE, SIT DOWN.
SIT DOWN.
495
00:19:14,634 --> 00:19:16,367
GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU, BABY.
HEY, YOU GUYS READY?
496
00:19:16,434 --> 00:19:17,501
LET'S DO IT.
497
00:19:17,567 --> 00:19:19,200
HEY, JIM, WE'RE GETTING
PAID FOR THIS, RIGHT?
498
00:19:19,267 --> 00:19:20,801
YOU'RE PLAYING
IN A STEAKHOUSE.
499
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:22,968
WHAT MORE DO
YOU WANT?
500
00:19:23,033 --> 00:19:27,767
NOW, YOU THINK THAT I,
UH, BLEW YOUR 25th BIRTHDAY,
501
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,100
AND YOU WERE
GONNA HAVE NO FUN.
502
00:19:30,167 --> 00:19:33,200
WELL, WE ALL SHOWED UP
TO GIVE YOU PROPS
503
00:19:33,267 --> 00:19:38,033
FOR ANOTHER TURN
AROUND THE SUN.
504
00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:40,033
NOW...
505
00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:43,367
I MAY BE POTBELLIED, BALD...
506
00:19:43,434 --> 00:19:45,033
AND A LITTLE GRUMPY...
507
00:19:46,601 --> 00:19:51,100
BUT, CHERYL, NEXT TO YOU,
EVERYBODY'S GONNA LOOK LUMPY.
508
00:19:51,167 --> 00:19:55,067
SO, HEY, IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY,
TIME TO MAKE A FUSS
509
00:19:55,133 --> 00:19:58,067
BECAUSE WE ALL CAME
TO SAY THANK YOU
510
00:19:58,133 --> 00:20:00,667
BECAUSE YOU, CHERYL...
511
00:20:00,734 --> 00:20:03,133
ARE A GIFT TO ALL OF US.
512
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,467
* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU *
513
00:20:05,534 --> 00:20:06,868
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
514
00:20:06,934 --> 00:20:08,868
* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU *
515
00:20:08,934 --> 00:20:10,801
ALL RIGHT!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
516
00:20:10,868 --> 00:20:13,767
* HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
DEAR CHERYL *
517
00:20:13,834 --> 00:20:16,734
GIVE IT UP!
* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU *
518
00:20:16,801 --> 00:20:18,033
* BA-DA BA-DA BA-DA *
519
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:20,367
* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU *
520
00:20:20,434 --> 00:20:21,834
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
521
00:20:21,901 --> 00:20:24,501
* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU *
522
00:20:24,567 --> 00:20:26,234
ALL RIGHT!
COME ON, BABY!
523
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:29,234
* HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
DEAR CHERYL *
524
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:32,567
* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU *
525
00:20:32,634 --> 00:20:34,434
[GUITAR SOLO]
526
00:20:53,434 --> 00:20:55,868
OKAY, CUP YOUR HAND
LIKE THIS.
527
00:20:57,601 --> 00:20:59,567
AND PUT IT
UNDER YOUR ARM.
528
00:20:59,634 --> 00:21:00,567
AND LET HER RIP!
529
00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:02,534
[FARTING NOISE]
530
00:21:04,501 --> 00:21:06,033
GOOD JOB, BRIAN.
531
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:07,567
SOUNDS LIKE A FART.
532
00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:10,701
THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW
YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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