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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,701 --> 00:00:08,634 CHERYL... 2 00:00:08,701 --> 00:00:09,634 YEAH? 3 00:00:09,701 --> 00:00:10,901 UH... 4 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:16,133 I THINK, UH, K-KYLE NEEDS YOU. 5 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:18,367 OH. OH, OH, HONEY! 6 00:00:18,434 --> 00:00:20,501 WHAT HE NEEDS IS TO BE CHANGED. 7 00:00:20,567 --> 00:00:22,634 I KNOW, BUT YOU DO IT SO WELL. 8 00:00:22,701 --> 00:00:25,133 OH, OH, OH, OH, ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. 9 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:27,868 BUT YOU NEED TO HELP RUBY WITH HER VALENTINES, OKAY? 10 00:00:27,934 --> 00:00:30,167 OKAY. BYE, STINKY. 11 00:00:30,234 --> 00:00:32,234 DON'T EAT ALL THE CANDY HEARTS. 12 00:00:35,567 --> 00:00:37,200 MOMMY SAID DON'T EAT THEM. 13 00:00:37,267 --> 00:00:41,033 MOMMY SAID DON'T EAT ALL OF THEM. 14 00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:45,100 SEE? LISTENING IS IMPORTANT. 15 00:00:46,801 --> 00:00:47,767 WHAT'S THIS ONE HERE? 16 00:00:47,834 --> 00:00:51,067 OH, YEAH! TWO TURTLES KISSING. 17 00:00:51,133 --> 00:00:54,067 "SHELL YOU BE MINE?" 18 00:00:54,133 --> 00:00:56,767 [CHUCKLES] THAT'S CLEVER. 19 00:00:56,834 --> 00:00:57,834 WHO'S BRAD? 20 00:00:57,901 --> 00:00:59,167 [Sarcastically] HER BOYFRIEND. 21 00:00:59,234 --> 00:01:00,167 SHUT UP! 22 00:01:01,801 --> 00:01:03,701 GIVE ME THAT. 23 00:01:03,767 --> 00:01:09,100 "P.S. MY DAD IS THE BOOGEYMAN, 24 00:01:09,167 --> 00:01:13,467 AND HE KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE." 25 00:01:13,534 --> 00:01:14,667 OH... 26 00:01:14,734 --> 00:01:17,367 "YIPPETY-DIPPETY-DO." 27 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,100 HAH! 28 00:01:21,167 --> 00:01:22,834 OH, BABY. 29 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,901 HEY! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? 30 00:01:31,968 --> 00:01:33,534 WE'RE MOOSES, AND DADDY'S A BEAR. 31 00:01:33,601 --> 00:01:34,734 IS HE CHASING YOU? 32 00:01:34,801 --> 00:01:36,634 NO, HE'S HIBERNATING IN HIS CHAIR. 33 00:01:36,701 --> 00:01:38,868 I SEE. 34 00:01:47,267 --> 00:01:49,734 SPRINGTIME! ARRR! 35 00:01:49,801 --> 00:01:51,634 THEY'RE GONE. 36 00:01:51,701 --> 00:01:52,968 OHH. 37 00:01:53,033 --> 00:01:56,267 PLAYING WITH THESE KIDS JUST WEARS YOU OUT. 38 00:01:56,334 --> 00:01:57,934 I THINK I NEED A NAP. 39 00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,434 HEY! 40 00:01:59,501 --> 00:02:00,934 SO I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT VALENTINE'S DAY. 41 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,667 OH, VALENTINE'S DAY. 42 00:02:02,734 --> 00:02:06,234 COME ON, HONEY, THAT IS SUCH A RACKET CREATED BY WOMEN... 43 00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:08,067 LIKE SALADS, 44 00:02:08,133 --> 00:02:09,267 DEODORANT, 45 00:02:09,334 --> 00:02:11,567 CUDDLING. 46 00:02:11,634 --> 00:02:12,634 ARE YOU DONE? 47 00:02:12,701 --> 00:02:13,701 YEAH. 48 00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:15,400 SO, I WAS THINKING-- 49 00:02:15,467 --> 00:02:17,934 MAYBE THIS YEAR WE SHOULD JUST STAY IN, 50 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,367 ORDER A PIZZA, AND WATCH A MOVIE IN OUR SWEATS. 51 00:02:23,067 --> 00:02:24,868 I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE IN LOVE WITH YOU 52 00:02:24,934 --> 00:02:27,968 THAN I AM RIGHT NOW. 53 00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:30,300 GOOD. WHAT DID YOU GET ME? 54 00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:31,701 OH, I GOT YOU SOMETHING REALLY GOOD. 55 00:02:31,767 --> 00:02:34,501 IT'S GONNA BE HARD TO TOP LAST YEAR'S SMART MOP. 56 00:02:34,567 --> 00:02:35,934 THIS IS TRUE. 57 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,300 WELL, I WON'T BE NEEDING THAT BLOUSE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY. 58 00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:41,501 RICHARD FLAKED ON ME. SHUT UP, JIM! 59 00:02:41,567 --> 00:02:44,033 OKAY. I'LL JUST SAVE IT FOR THE NEXT GUY. 60 00:02:45,868 --> 00:02:47,601 WHAT HAPPENED? 61 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:48,868 EVERYTHING WAS GOING GREAT, YOU KNOW, 62 00:02:48,934 --> 00:02:50,434 BUT NOW THAT VALENTINE'S DAY IS COMING UP, 63 00:02:50,501 --> 00:02:51,868 I CAN'T EVEN GET HIM ON THE PHONE. 64 00:02:51,934 --> 00:02:53,634 OH, WELL, DANA, YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S ABOUT. 65 00:02:53,701 --> 00:02:55,434 CHERYL, IF I MAY? 66 00:02:55,501 --> 00:02:58,300 TAKE IT AWAY, PROFESSOR. 67 00:02:58,367 --> 00:02:59,801 WHEN DID YOU START DATING HIM? 68 00:02:59,868 --> 00:03:01,033 RIGHT AFTER NEW YEAR'S. 69 00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:02,634 OKAY. THERE'S YOUR PROBLEM RIGHT THERE. 70 00:03:02,701 --> 00:03:05,133 YOU SEE, CHRISTMAS IS THE COMMITMENT CUTOFF. 71 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:06,701 IF YOU WERE DATING HIM BEFORE CHRISTMAS, 72 00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:08,200 VALENTINE'S DAY IS A LOCK. 73 00:03:08,267 --> 00:03:11,400 AFTER CHRISTMAS, HE HAS NO LEGAL OBLIGATION. 74 00:03:13,901 --> 00:03:15,267 ALSO, YOU TALK TOO MUCH. 75 00:03:15,334 --> 00:03:18,934 OKAY, THIS BEAR IS HITTING THE WOODS. 76 00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:23,734 HEY, DANA, COME HERE. 77 00:03:23,801 --> 00:03:24,801 I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANNA GET JIM 78 00:03:24,868 --> 00:03:25,834 FOR VALENTINE'S DAY. 79 00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:26,968 DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA? 80 00:03:27,033 --> 00:03:28,033 HAVE YOU NOT BEEN LISTENING TO ME? 81 00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:30,167 I'M GONNA BE ALONE, FOR GOD'S SAKE. 82 00:03:30,234 --> 00:03:33,167 HONEY, WE ALREADY KNOW YOUR VALENTINE'S DAY'S RUINED. 83 00:03:33,234 --> 00:03:35,367 CAN WE FOCUS ON ME? 84 00:03:35,434 --> 00:03:39,801 OKAY. LET'S SEE-- WHAT DOESN'T JIM HAVE? 85 00:03:39,868 --> 00:03:42,901 OH, I KNOW! HOW ABOUT OPPOSABLE THUMBS? 86 00:03:42,968 --> 00:03:44,701 DANA! 87 00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:46,868 YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I THINK YOU FORGET HE'S MY HUSBAND. 88 00:03:46,934 --> 00:03:47,934 [SIGHS] 89 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,200 AND THAT WAS VERY FUNNY. VERY FUNNY. 90 00:03:50,267 --> 00:03:51,534 OH, I KNOW-- 91 00:03:51,601 --> 00:03:52,701 YOU KNOW, A FRIEND OF MINE 92 00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:54,267 DID SOMETHING FOR HER HUSBAND ON HIS BIRTHDAY. 93 00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:57,434 IT WAS VERY ROMANTIC AND SEXY AND-- 94 00:03:57,501 --> 00:03:58,901 OH, NEVER MIND. YOU'D NEVER DO IT. 95 00:03:58,968 --> 00:04:00,367 WHAT? NO, YOU'D NEVER DO IT. 96 00:04:00,434 --> 00:04:01,400 TELL ME! 97 00:04:01,467 --> 00:04:05,367 WELL, SHE GOT SOMEONE TO TAKE THESE... 98 00:04:05,434 --> 00:04:06,367 BOUDOIR PHOTOS. 99 00:04:06,434 --> 00:04:09,434 [SQUEALS] I WOULD NEVER DO THAT! 100 00:04:09,501 --> 00:04:11,701 I KNOW, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT FUN. 101 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,334 THAT IS A LOUSY THING TO SAY. 102 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:21,934 OH, I'M SORRY. I-I THOUGHT YOU KNEW. 103 00:04:23,467 --> 00:04:26,901 I-I-I HAPPEN TO BE A LOT OF FUN. 104 00:04:26,968 --> 00:04:28,567 THE OTHER MOMS IN MY CUPCAKE CLASS 105 00:04:28,634 --> 00:04:30,968 CALL ME "GREGARIOUS." 106 00:04:31,033 --> 00:04:34,534 CUPCAKE CLASS? OH, CHERYL, I'VE SO LOST YOU. 107 00:04:34,601 --> 00:04:35,701 YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW WHAT? 108 00:04:35,767 --> 00:04:37,868 I-I-I COULD BE THE KIND OF PERSON 109 00:04:37,934 --> 00:04:39,234 WHO WOULD TAKE A SEXY BOUDOIR PH-- 110 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:40,334 WAS SHE NAKED? 111 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,000 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 112 00:04:42,067 --> 00:04:43,434 NO, IT WAS TASTEFUL LINGERIE. 113 00:04:43,501 --> 00:04:44,968 IT WAS SOFT FOCUS, VERY CLASSY. 114 00:04:45,033 --> 00:04:47,100 YOU KNOW, THAT MIGHT BE FUN. 115 00:04:47,167 --> 00:04:48,767 I AM GONNA CONSIDER THAT. 116 00:04:48,834 --> 00:04:50,300 LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU'RE DONE CONSIDERING IT, 117 00:04:50,367 --> 00:04:52,000 'CAUSE WE BOTH KNOW THERE'S A "NO" COMING. 118 00:04:52,067 --> 00:04:55,834 FOR YOUR INFORMATION, THERE IS A "YES" COMING. 119 00:04:55,901 --> 00:04:58,567 YES! YOU SEE? THERE IT IS! 120 00:04:58,634 --> 00:05:01,868 'CAUSE I AM A NUT. 121 00:05:03,501 --> 00:05:04,801 I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. 122 00:05:04,868 --> 00:05:07,567 WELL, DO YOU BELIEVE THIS? 123 00:05:11,701 --> 00:05:13,601 WELL, WE HAVE A COUPLE DAYS TO WORK ON IT. 124 00:05:18,467 --> 00:05:21,501 ALL RIGHT. IN A RED BAG AND EVERYTHING. 125 00:05:21,567 --> 00:05:22,634 HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. 126 00:05:22,701 --> 00:05:24,501 OHH! 127 00:05:24,567 --> 00:05:25,567 [GASPS] 128 00:05:25,634 --> 00:05:29,801 OH, AN EMERGENCY ROADSIDE KIT! HONEY! 129 00:05:29,868 --> 00:05:31,434 YOU LIKE IT? I LOVE IT! 130 00:05:31,501 --> 00:05:32,801 LOOK WHAT I GOT IN HERE FOR YOU. 131 00:05:32,868 --> 00:05:33,801 WOW! 132 00:05:33,868 --> 00:05:34,801 IT'S GOT A FLASHLIGHT HERE. 133 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:35,968 NO WAY! 134 00:05:36,033 --> 00:05:38,234 YEAH, YOU GOT THREE EMERGENCY FLARES. 135 00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:39,634 WOW. 136 00:05:39,701 --> 00:05:42,167 AND LOOK--A LITTLE CRACKERS-AND-CHEESE PACK 137 00:05:42,234 --> 00:05:43,534 IN CASE YOU GET STUCK IN A RAVINE. 138 00:05:43,601 --> 00:05:45,400 OH, THAT'S GREAT. 139 00:05:45,467 --> 00:05:49,167 ACTUALLY, LET ME TAKE THOSE NOW. I'LL REPLACE IT LATER. 140 00:05:49,234 --> 00:05:52,968 OKAY. MY TURN! MY TURN! MY TURN! MY TURN! 141 00:05:53,033 --> 00:05:55,567 CHERYL, CALM DOWN! THERE'S ONLY THREE CRACKERS. 142 00:05:55,634 --> 00:05:57,968 NO! NO, HONEY! MY PRESENT! 143 00:05:58,033 --> 00:05:59,300 YOU READY? 144 00:05:59,367 --> 00:06:02,000 OKAY, OPEN IT! OPEN IT! OPEN IT! OPEN IT! 145 00:06:04,467 --> 00:06:08,033 WELL, IT'S NOT A HOME-ENTERTAINMENT CENTER. 146 00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:10,801 OH, I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO SEE IT! 147 00:06:10,868 --> 00:06:12,300 [CHUCKLES] 148 00:06:12,367 --> 00:06:14,868 YOU ARE TOO MUCH, BABY. 149 00:06:14,934 --> 00:06:16,000 HAH! 150 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,701 [GASPS] 151 00:06:21,934 --> 00:06:22,868 WELL? 152 00:06:22,934 --> 00:06:24,934 OH! 153 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,701 [LAUGHING] WOW! 154 00:06:27,767 --> 00:06:29,934 YOU ARE AMAZING! 155 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,901 YOU KNOW, YOU COULD GO PRO! 156 00:06:33,634 --> 00:06:35,400 I MEAN AS A MODEL! 157 00:06:35,467 --> 00:06:37,167 OH! DO YOU LIKE IT? 158 00:06:37,234 --> 00:06:40,434 LIKE IT?! I WANNA MARRY IT! 159 00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:41,701 BUT I DID! 160 00:06:44,367 --> 00:06:45,968 I CAN'T TAKE MY EYES OFF IT! 161 00:06:46,033 --> 00:06:47,100 WELL... 162 00:06:47,167 --> 00:06:49,534 MAYBE YOU CAN TAKE YOUR EYES OFF OF IT 163 00:06:49,601 --> 00:06:50,567 FOR THIS. 164 00:06:51,868 --> 00:06:53,834 MMM. 165 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,601 [BLUES MUSIC PLAYS] 166 00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:17,234 YEAH! [LAUGHS] 167 00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:20,400 YOU WERE ON FIRE, MAN! THAT WAS GREAT! 168 00:07:20,467 --> 00:07:23,133 YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PLAY ON THE BLACK KEYS? 169 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:24,734 YEAH, MAN. WHAT GOT INTO YOU? 170 00:07:24,801 --> 00:07:27,300 A LITTLE MUSE BY THE NAME OF KELLY. 171 00:07:27,367 --> 00:07:28,300 AHH! AHH! AHH! 172 00:07:28,367 --> 00:07:29,934 YEAH, I MET HER ON VALENTINE'S DAY. 173 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,067 NOW, I DON'T LIKE TO KISS AND TELL, 174 00:07:32,133 --> 00:07:34,133 BUT LET'S JUST SAY I KISSED HER... 175 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,501 AND NOW I'M TELLING! 176 00:07:36,567 --> 00:07:38,801 I WILL TELL ALL! 177 00:07:38,868 --> 00:07:39,934 SO, WHAT HAPPENED, HUH? 178 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,067 I KISSED HER. 179 00:07:43,367 --> 00:07:44,534 THAT'S IT. 180 00:07:45,968 --> 00:07:47,267 GOOD STORY. 181 00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,267 HEY, YOU KNOW, I GOTTA SAY, 182 00:07:49,334 --> 00:07:50,434 THIS WAS MY FIRST VALENTINE'S DAY 183 00:07:50,501 --> 00:07:51,934 WITHOUT THE EX-WIFE. 184 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,501 I THOUGHT I'D BE VERY SAD, YOU KNOW, 185 00:07:53,567 --> 00:07:56,934 BUT I WENT OUT WITH THIS CHICK FROM WORK, HAD A GREAT TIME. 186 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,200 I DIDN'T MISS THE EX-WIFE AT ALL. 187 00:07:58,267 --> 00:08:00,167 GOOD FOR YOU! 188 00:08:00,234 --> 00:08:01,300 HOW ABOUT YOU, JOE? WHAT DID YOU DO? 189 00:08:01,367 --> 00:08:03,767 WENT OUT WITH YOUR EX-WIFE. 190 00:08:03,834 --> 00:08:06,067 SHE DOESN'T MISS YOU, EITHER, MAN. 191 00:08:07,601 --> 00:08:09,067 JIM, YOU'RE KINDA QUIET. WHAT DID YOU AND CHERYL DO? 192 00:08:09,133 --> 00:08:10,434 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THEY DID. 193 00:08:10,501 --> 00:08:13,100 THEY SAT AROUND ON THE COUCH IN RATTY OLD SWEATSHIRTS 194 00:08:13,167 --> 00:08:15,000 COVERED IN PIZZA SAUCE AND BABY SPIT-UP. 195 00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:16,601 THAT'S WHAT THEY DID. 196 00:08:16,667 --> 00:08:17,734 WE ALL GOTTA KNOW-- 197 00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:20,467 DID YOU FALL ASLEEP IN THE BATHTUB OR THE COUCH? 198 00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:24,567 HA! HEH HEH HEH HEH. 199 00:08:25,801 --> 00:08:27,167 WHAT? 200 00:08:27,234 --> 00:08:29,267 AH, HAH! HEE HEE HEE. 201 00:08:30,667 --> 00:08:32,434 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. 202 00:08:32,501 --> 00:08:34,501 YOU WANNA SEE WHAT 10 YEARS BRINGS? 203 00:08:34,567 --> 00:08:37,067 I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT 10 YEARS BRINGS. 204 00:08:41,033 --> 00:08:42,467 LOOK AT THAT. 205 00:08:42,534 --> 00:08:44,300 WAIT. OH, WAS THAT CHERYL? 206 00:08:44,367 --> 00:08:46,367 WELL, YES, IT WAS! WHO DID YOU THINK IT WAS? 207 00:08:46,434 --> 00:08:47,734 OH, COME ON. THAT COULD'VE BEEN ANYBODY. 208 00:08:47,801 --> 00:08:49,300 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT! 209 00:08:49,367 --> 00:08:52,534 TAKE A LONG, LONG LOOK AT THAT, BOYS. 210 00:08:52,601 --> 00:08:54,200 LOOKY THERE. 211 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:58,567 THAT'S MY WIFE'S FACE. THAT'S MY WIFE'S BODY. 212 00:08:58,634 --> 00:09:00,901 AND THAT PARASOL? 213 00:09:00,968 --> 00:09:03,133 I THINK THEY GAVE THAT TO HER. 214 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:04,200 BEAUTIFUL, HUH? 215 00:09:04,267 --> 00:09:05,567 STOP LOOKING AT THAT! THAT'S MY SISTER! 216 00:09:05,634 --> 00:09:08,234 HEY, GIVE ME THAT! GIVE ME THAT! 217 00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:11,200 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GIVE ME THAT BACK. 218 00:09:11,267 --> 00:09:12,501 HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON? 219 00:09:12,567 --> 00:09:15,334 UH, JUST A LITTLE, UH, BAND WRESTLING, YOU KNOW. 220 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:16,434 I WIN! 221 00:09:16,501 --> 00:09:18,434 GIVE ME THAT! 222 00:09:18,501 --> 00:09:20,267 UM... 223 00:09:23,367 --> 00:09:24,467 UH... 224 00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:47,701 OKAY, YOU'RE BUSY. 225 00:09:47,767 --> 00:09:49,534 GET IN HERE! 226 00:09:49,601 --> 00:09:51,133 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SHOWED THIS TO THEM! 227 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,534 THIS WAS ONLY FOR YOU! 228 00:09:52,601 --> 00:09:55,567 OH, OKAY. WELL, NOW I KNOW. 229 00:09:55,634 --> 00:09:57,567 NO, NO, NO. YOU DON'T KNOW. 230 00:09:57,634 --> 00:10:01,534 Y-Y-YOU NEVER KNOW. YOU ARE CLUELESS! 231 00:10:02,634 --> 00:10:04,234 SO WE'RE COOL, RIGHT? 232 00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:05,434 RIGHT? 233 00:10:05,501 --> 00:10:07,100 YOU'RE AN IDIOT. 234 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,901 CHERYL, CHERYL, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 235 00:10:10,968 --> 00:10:12,734 THE GUYS, THEY WERE ALL BRAGGING 236 00:10:12,801 --> 00:10:14,701 ABOUT HOW HOT THEIR VALENTINE'S DAY WAS, 237 00:10:14,767 --> 00:10:16,701 AND HOW WE WERE A BORING COUPLE, 238 00:10:16,767 --> 00:10:19,300 AND I TOOK UMBRAGE WITH IT. 239 00:10:19,367 --> 00:10:22,601 YOU USED IT RIGHT. THANK YOU. 240 00:10:22,667 --> 00:10:25,000 TRUST ME. I WAS DEFENDING YOUR HONOR. 241 00:10:25,067 --> 00:10:28,133 BY SHOWING HALF-NAKED PICTURES OF ME IN THE GARAGE? 242 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,901 YES, AND IT WORKED PERFECTLY! 243 00:10:29,968 --> 00:10:32,234 YOU WERE SHOWING OFF! 244 00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:34,601 SO WHAT? YOU SHOW OFF ALL THE TIME! 245 00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:36,901 YOU BRAG ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW, TO YOUR FRIENDS 246 00:10:36,968 --> 00:10:38,467 WHEN I GET A BIG CONTRACT 247 00:10:38,534 --> 00:10:40,968 OR YOU TELL THE NEIGHBORS HOW GOOD I AM IN BED. 248 00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:44,434 I'M NOT TELLING THEM THAT. 249 00:10:44,501 --> 00:10:46,801 SOMEBODY IS. 250 00:10:48,968 --> 00:10:52,467 JIM, JIM, LOOK AT ME. 251 00:10:52,534 --> 00:10:53,634 SEE THESE? 252 00:10:53,701 --> 00:10:54,667 YES. 253 00:10:54,734 --> 00:10:58,167 THESE ARE MY "DIVORCE EYES." 254 00:10:58,234 --> 00:11:00,667 YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO OBJECTIFY ME 255 00:11:00,734 --> 00:11:02,767 SO YOU CAN LOOK LIKE A BIG MAN IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS. 256 00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:04,868 CHERYL, I THINK YOU ARE OVERREACTING. 257 00:11:04,934 --> 00:11:08,133 OVERREACTING IS PAINTING THE FRONT DOOR BLACK BECAUSE THE CUBS LOST. 258 00:11:09,801 --> 00:11:13,434 THEY ARE GONNA WIN THE WORLD SERIES! 259 00:11:13,501 --> 00:11:16,000 JIM, ALL I'M ASKING 260 00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:19,667 IS THAT YOU NEVER SHOW THAT PICTURE TO ANYONE AGAIN. 261 00:11:19,734 --> 00:11:22,734 OKAY. 262 00:11:22,801 --> 00:11:26,334 I WILL NEVER SHOW THAT PICTURE TO ANYONE EVER AGAIN. 263 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,334 OKAY? 264 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,300 THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME. 265 00:11:29,367 --> 00:11:31,767 WHERE DID YOU GET A WALLET-SIZED PHOTO, ANYWAY? 266 00:11:31,834 --> 00:11:32,801 OH, KINKO'S! 267 00:11:35,033 --> 00:11:36,133 WHAT?! 268 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:40,033 THOSE GUYS DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU! 269 00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,801 ARE THERE ANY MORE? 270 00:11:57,934 --> 00:11:59,934 JUST THIS COFFEE MUG. 271 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,334 "LIKE IT HOT?" 272 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:05,667 YEAH. THE CASHIER CAME UP WITH THAT. IT'S CUTE. 273 00:12:05,734 --> 00:12:10,100 CHERYL! IT WAS A WOMAN! 274 00:12:10,167 --> 00:12:11,133 [MUG SHATTERS] 275 00:12:13,367 --> 00:12:15,067 WELL, I'M KEEPING THE KEY CHAIN. 276 00:12:23,234 --> 00:12:24,234 KYLE FINALLY WENT DOWN. 277 00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:25,601 GOOD. 278 00:12:25,667 --> 00:12:27,934 SO, WHAT DID YOU END UP DOING FOR VALENTINE'S DAY? 279 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,801 I WENT TO MORTON'S ALONE. 280 00:12:29,868 --> 00:12:31,334 OH, I'M SORRY. 281 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:32,467 OH, NO, DON'T BE. 282 00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:33,934 MY WAITER WAS DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS. 283 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,300 WE REALLY CLICKED. 284 00:12:35,367 --> 00:12:37,434 WE WENT OUT AFTERWARDS AND TALKED FOR, LIKE, TWO HOURS. 285 00:12:37,501 --> 00:12:38,968 AND THEN, AT THE END OF THE NIGHT, 286 00:12:39,033 --> 00:12:40,934 HE GAVE ME A SINGLE RED ROSE. 287 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:45,434 IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST ROMANTIC VALENTINE'S DAYS I'VE EVER HAD. 288 00:12:45,501 --> 00:12:47,801 HONEY, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU. 289 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,167 WHEN ARE YOU GONNA SEE HIM AGAIN? 290 00:12:49,234 --> 00:12:51,300 [SCOFFS] CHERYL, HE'S A WAITER. 291 00:12:51,367 --> 00:12:54,267 [DOORBELL RINGS] 292 00:12:54,334 --> 00:12:55,434 OH, MY GOD! 293 00:12:55,501 --> 00:12:57,734 I HAVE THE SAME SHOES AS GWYNETH PALTROW! 294 00:12:57,801 --> 00:13:02,200 YEAH, TURN THE PAGE. JANET RENO HAS THEM, TOO. 295 00:13:02,267 --> 00:13:03,334 HEY, KENNY. 296 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:04,634 HEY, CHERYL. 297 00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:07,234 I JUST WANTED TO DROP OFF THIS CAMISOLE FOR JIM. 298 00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:08,501 WHAT? 299 00:13:08,567 --> 00:13:09,934 HUH? 300 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,767 YOU SAID "CAMISOLE." 301 00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,300 I SAID "BLUEPRINT." 302 00:13:13,367 --> 00:13:15,601 OH, ALL RIGHT. I'LL GIVE THESE TO HIM. 303 00:13:15,667 --> 00:13:16,801 Okay. 304 00:13:16,868 --> 00:13:18,334 WHAT? 305 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,367 WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT? 306 00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:22,634 WHAT? 307 00:13:22,701 --> 00:13:25,300 YOU SAW THAT PICTURE OF ME, DIDN'T YOU? 308 00:13:25,367 --> 00:13:26,968 NO. 309 00:13:27,033 --> 00:13:30,267 LOOK, I'M TOTALLY LATE. LOVE YOU--I MEAN, BYE. 310 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,234 WHAT WAS WITH HIM? 311 00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:36,567 I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA. 312 00:13:36,634 --> 00:13:39,000 DADDY, DO YOU HAVE ANY FIVES? 313 00:13:39,067 --> 00:13:42,267 UH...GO FISH. 314 00:13:42,334 --> 00:13:44,334 I JUST GAVE YOU TWO FIVES, DADDY. 315 00:13:46,667 --> 00:13:49,200 OH, FIVES! 316 00:13:49,267 --> 00:13:51,300 YEAH, I GOT FIVES. 317 00:13:53,868 --> 00:13:55,767 GIRLS, CAN YOU GO UPSTAIRS? 318 00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:57,634 BUT WE'RE PLAYING WITH DADDY. 319 00:13:57,701 --> 00:14:01,667 LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING THERE'S A PONY IN YOUR ROOM... 320 00:14:01,734 --> 00:14:02,934 BUT I'M NOT SAYING THERE ISN'T. 321 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,801 A PONY! A PONY! 322 00:14:04,868 --> 00:14:06,601 YAY! YAY! 323 00:14:08,567 --> 00:14:11,567 THAT'S A GOOD ONE WITH THE PONY. 324 00:14:11,634 --> 00:14:13,434 KENNY FROM WORK WAS JUST HERE. 325 00:14:13,501 --> 00:14:15,901 THAT'S WEIRD. HE'S BEEN DEAD FOR TWO YEARS. 326 00:14:15,968 --> 00:14:17,200 THE OTHER KENNY. 327 00:14:17,267 --> 00:14:19,601 OH, GOOD, 'CAUSE THE DEAD KENNY-- 328 00:14:19,667 --> 00:14:21,200 I OWE HIM MONEY. 329 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:24,834 OHHH! 330 00:14:24,901 --> 00:14:26,968 I TOLD HIM HE COULD BRING THESE BY MONDAY. 331 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,667 YEAH, YOU KNOW, HE'S SO SWEET. 332 00:14:28,734 --> 00:14:30,634 I GUESS HE MADE A SPECIAL TRIP SO HE COULD, YOU KNOW, 333 00:14:30,701 --> 00:14:32,167 GAWK AT ME! 334 00:14:32,234 --> 00:14:33,467 WHAT? 335 00:14:33,534 --> 00:14:35,801 WELL, APPARENTLY, IN SPITE OF OUR CONVERSATION, 336 00:14:35,868 --> 00:14:37,868 YOU'VE BEEN SHOWING MY PICTURE TO THE GUYS AT WORK. 337 00:14:37,934 --> 00:14:40,901 CHERYL, I DID NOT SHOW THAT PICTURE TO ANYBODY ELSE. 338 00:14:40,968 --> 00:14:42,334 I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU. 339 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,701 YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY-- 340 00:14:45,767 --> 00:14:47,968 THE DAY THAT I CAN ACTUALLY, TRUTHFULLY 341 00:14:48,033 --> 00:14:51,367 DENY DOING WHAT YOU'RE MAD AT ME ABOUT. 342 00:14:51,434 --> 00:14:55,334 I DID NOT SHOW ANYBODY ELSE THAT PICTURE. 343 00:14:56,400 --> 00:15:00,701 WOW. HONESTY. 344 00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:03,067 THAT FEELS... 345 00:15:03,133 --> 00:15:04,267 SAME. 346 00:15:05,734 --> 00:15:06,734 SAME. 347 00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:11,400 ALL RIGHT. I GUESS I BELIEVE YOU. 348 00:15:11,467 --> 00:15:12,501 YOU GUESS? 349 00:15:12,567 --> 00:15:14,934 WELL, HE HAD TO SEE THAT PICTURE SOMEWHERE. 350 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,167 [SCAT-SINGING] 351 00:15:20,801 --> 00:15:21,734 MILADY. 352 00:15:21,801 --> 00:15:25,400 [SCAT-SINGING] 353 00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:28,334 AAAAAH! 354 00:15:32,667 --> 00:15:35,601 HEY, PERVERT. KEEP YOUR EYES IN YOUR PANTS. 355 00:15:35,667 --> 00:15:38,033 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 356 00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:40,200 I TOLD YOU--YOU CAN'T BLOCK MY WINDOW. 357 00:15:40,267 --> 00:15:41,868 NOW, TAKE YOUR COAT AND GET OUT OF HERE. 358 00:15:41,934 --> 00:15:45,234 THAT SCANTILY CLAD WOMAN WITH THE PARASOL IS MY SISTER. 359 00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:48,100 [LAUGHS] YEAH, RIGHT. 360 00:15:48,167 --> 00:15:49,634 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. LET ME SEE. 361 00:15:49,701 --> 00:15:50,734 LET ME SEE. 362 00:15:53,434 --> 00:15:55,934 YOU MUST BE THE OWNER OF THIS SMUT SHOP, HUH? 363 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,133 YES, AND IT'S A PHOTOGRAPHY STUDIO. 364 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,400 THAT IS MY HALF-NAKED WIFE HANGING IN YOUR WINDOW 365 00:16:01,467 --> 00:16:04,100 NEXT TO A DALMATIAN TRAIN CONDUCTOR. 366 00:16:04,167 --> 00:16:06,601 OH, MY GOD. THAT'S ADORABLE! 367 00:16:06,667 --> 00:16:08,601 HOW'D I MISS THAT? 368 00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:09,834 CHERYL! CHERYL! 369 00:16:09,901 --> 00:16:11,601 HI, CHERYL. HEY, MICHELLE. 370 00:16:11,667 --> 00:16:13,100 DID YOU PARK IN FRONT OF A METER? 371 00:16:13,167 --> 00:16:15,267 DON'T WORRY, HONEY. I PUT YOUR PAPER BAG OVER IT. 372 00:16:17,033 --> 00:16:20,567 OH. THAT-- THAT'S REALLY...BIG. 373 00:16:20,634 --> 00:16:22,767 YEAH, WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT, HONEY, 374 00:16:22,834 --> 00:16:24,267 BECAUSE IT'S COMING DOWN RIGHT NOW. 375 00:16:24,334 --> 00:16:25,968 REALLY? I'VE GOTTEN MANY COMPLIMENTS ON IT. 376 00:16:26,033 --> 00:16:27,334 IT'S BEEN GREAT FOR BUSINESS. 377 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,067 REALLY? 378 00:16:29,133 --> 00:16:31,367 THAT IS BULL. DON'T LISTEN TO HER, HONEY. 379 00:16:31,434 --> 00:16:33,834 YOU REMEMBER THAT TIME WE WERE IN THAT BARBECUE RESTAURANT 380 00:16:33,901 --> 00:16:35,534 AND THEY TOOK A SNAPSHOT OF ME EATING RIBS 381 00:16:35,601 --> 00:16:37,734 AND THEN THEY PUT IT UP IN THE WINDOW? 382 00:16:37,801 --> 00:16:39,968 TWO WEEKS--BAM! THE PLACE CLOSED. 383 00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:42,367 WELL, JIM, IT LOOKED LIKE YOU WERE EATING A PERSON. 384 00:16:42,434 --> 00:16:43,467 IT WAS EMBARRASSING. 385 00:16:43,534 --> 00:16:45,000 THAT THING IS COMING DOWN. 386 00:16:45,067 --> 00:16:46,033 THAT IS COMING DOWN. 387 00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:47,267 WELL, WAIT-- WAIT A MINUTE! 388 00:16:47,334 --> 00:16:50,100 ARE YOU SAYING THAT PEOPLE LIKED THE PICTURE? 389 00:16:50,167 --> 00:16:51,868 YEAH, WHEN I TELL THE MOMS YOU HAVE THREE KIDS, 390 00:16:51,934 --> 00:16:53,133 THEY SIGN RIGHT ON. 391 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,901 SO, MICHELLE, YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT I'M, LIKE, 392 00:16:55,968 --> 00:16:58,300 A POSTER GIRL FOR SOCCER MOMS? 393 00:16:58,367 --> 00:17:00,667 OKAY, THAT'S IT. YOU STAND HERE WITH YOUR BROTHER. 394 00:17:00,734 --> 00:17:01,767 I'LL HANDLE THIS. 395 00:17:01,834 --> 00:17:03,534 ALL RIGHT, I'M DONE WITH THE CHARM, OKAY? 396 00:17:03,601 --> 00:17:05,367 YOU--YOU, KEEP MOVING, KEEP MOVING. 397 00:17:05,434 --> 00:17:07,501 I'M THE HUSBAND. I AM THE BOSS. 398 00:17:07,567 --> 00:17:09,234 THAT PHOTOGRAPH COMES DOWN. 399 00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:10,801 ALL RIGHT, I DON'T WANNA CAUSE ANY TROUBLE. 400 00:17:10,868 --> 00:17:13,901 MICHELLE, LEAVE IT UP. 401 00:17:13,968 --> 00:17:14,934 WHAT? 402 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,167 YOU HEARD HER. I'M A ROLE MODEL. 403 00:17:17,234 --> 00:17:19,434 CHERYL, MICHAEL JORDAN IS A ROLE MODEL. 404 00:17:19,501 --> 00:17:22,567 AND YOU DON'T SEE HIM RUNNING AROUND IN HIS UNDERPANTS. 405 00:17:22,634 --> 00:17:24,567 ACTUALLY, HE DOES DO THOSE COMMERCIALS. 406 00:17:24,634 --> 00:17:25,901 ARE YOU A GUY? 407 00:17:25,968 --> 00:17:27,033 YEAH. 408 00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:29,701 [Clenched teeth] THEN HELP ME HERE! 409 00:17:29,767 --> 00:17:33,067 CHERYL, COME ON. TALK WITH ME HERE FOR A MINUTE, OKAY? 410 00:17:33,133 --> 00:17:35,868 YOU CAN'T LEAVE THAT HALF-NAKED PHOTO OF YOU 411 00:17:35,934 --> 00:17:38,267 HANGING IN THIS WINDOW IN BROAD DAYLIGHT 412 00:17:38,334 --> 00:17:39,534 FOR ALL THIS TOWN TO SEE, 413 00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:41,167 IN FRONT OF THESE KOOKS AND CREEPS-- 414 00:17:41,234 --> 00:17:42,434 LOOK AT THAT CREEP RIGHT THERE! 415 00:17:42,501 --> 00:17:43,801 LOOK AT HIM. HE'S STARING! HE'S DROOLING! 416 00:17:43,868 --> 00:17:47,000 CHERYL, PLEASE! YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE. 417 00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:49,033 COME ON! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! 418 00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:52,868 IT'S JUST WRONG, HONEY, AND THERE'S A MILLION REASONS. 419 00:17:52,934 --> 00:17:55,767 FOR EXAMPLE, LIKE, UM... 420 00:17:55,834 --> 00:17:58,300 LIKE, FIRST OF ALL... LIKE... 421 00:17:58,367 --> 00:17:59,501 PRIVACY? 422 00:17:59,567 --> 00:18:03,133 PRIVACY IS AN ISSUE, YES, AND, UM, UM... 423 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:04,501 INTIMACY? 424 00:18:04,567 --> 00:18:06,767 THERE YOU HAVE IT. INTIMACY. 425 00:18:06,834 --> 00:18:08,400 AND... 426 00:18:08,467 --> 00:18:10,133 AND? 427 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,200 AND YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE SHOWN THAT PICTURE TO THE GUYS 428 00:18:13,267 --> 00:18:15,634 BECAUSE IT'S REALLY PRIVATE BETWEEN A HUSBAND AND WIFE. 429 00:18:15,701 --> 00:18:17,501 RIGHT, RIGHT. 430 00:18:17,567 --> 00:18:20,000 AND I KNOW THOSE ARE HARD WORDS TO HEAR, HONEY, 431 00:18:20,067 --> 00:18:21,367 BUT THEY NEEDED TO BE SAID. 432 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:24,634 YEAH, WELL, YOU WERE KINDA ROUGH WITH ME. 433 00:18:24,701 --> 00:18:26,868 CHERYL, COME ON! YOU'RE KILLING ME. 434 00:18:31,901 --> 00:18:33,868 I AM SERIOUS. 435 00:18:33,934 --> 00:18:35,167 LOOKIT, I DIDN'T EVEN GO DOWN ON MY KNEE 436 00:18:35,234 --> 00:18:36,601 WHEN I PROPOSED TO YOU. 437 00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:39,400 NO, NO, YOU CERTAINLY DIDN'T KNEEL IN GUM. 438 00:18:39,467 --> 00:18:41,501 AH! DAMN! 439 00:18:41,567 --> 00:18:42,934 CHERYL, I AM REALLY SERIOUS HERE. 440 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,234 I'M BEGGING YOU TO TAKE THIS PHOTOGRAPH DOWN. 441 00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:48,367 IF YOU DON'T... I'M GONNA PARK MYSELF 442 00:18:48,434 --> 00:18:49,434 RIGHT IN FRONT OF THIS PHOTO SHOP 443 00:18:49,501 --> 00:18:52,334 24 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK. 444 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:53,367 AND THEN YOU KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN? 445 00:18:53,434 --> 00:18:55,000 I'M GONNA LOSE MY JOB. 446 00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:56,133 AND THEN YOU KNOW WHAT? 447 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,501 IT'S GONNA BE A PUBLIC EMBARRASSMENT 448 00:18:58,567 --> 00:19:00,300 FOR YOU AND THE CHILDREN. 449 00:19:00,367 --> 00:19:02,200 AND THEN WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU WHO YOUR HUSBAND IS, 450 00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:03,601 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SAY? 451 00:19:03,667 --> 00:19:05,968 "OH, HE'S THE STINKY GUY LIVING IN FRONT OF THE PHOTO SHOP." 452 00:19:08,334 --> 00:19:12,501 "YOU KNOW, THE CUTE ONE WITH THE GUM ON HIS KNEE." 453 00:19:14,434 --> 00:19:17,767 COME ON, BABY. PLEASE. 454 00:19:19,067 --> 00:19:20,834 ALL RIGHT. MICHELLE, TAKE IT DOWN. 455 00:19:20,901 --> 00:19:23,801 OHHH, CHERYL. 456 00:19:25,634 --> 00:19:27,601 OH, THANK GOD. 457 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,133 THANK YOU, MICHELLE. 458 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,167 HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGY IN THE WINDOW? 459 00:19:32,234 --> 00:19:33,367 $200. 460 00:19:33,434 --> 00:19:35,033 OOOH, YOU SAW ME COMING! 461 00:19:41,701 --> 00:19:42,667 THANK YOU, BABY. 462 00:19:42,734 --> 00:19:44,667 YOU REALLY SCARED ME. THAT'S NOT FAIR. 463 00:19:44,734 --> 00:19:46,901 OH, IT'S SO FAIR. ALL OVER THIS PHOTO. 464 00:19:46,968 --> 00:19:48,133 HELLO, EVERYBODY! HEY, WAIT! 465 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,501 NOBODY'S GONNA SEE IT. 466 00:19:49,567 --> 00:19:50,901 WHOA! MAN! 467 00:19:50,968 --> 00:19:51,934 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 468 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,534 I THINK WE MADE OFF WITH A FREE FRAME. 469 00:19:59,968 --> 00:20:01,801 SWEETHEART... 470 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,267 I WANT YOU TO CLOSE YOUR EYES. 471 00:20:03,334 --> 00:20:04,767 OKAY. 472 00:20:06,634 --> 00:20:10,000 OKAY. YOU CAN OPEN THEM. 473 00:20:10,067 --> 00:20:13,133 I KNOW YOU REALLY LOVE THAT EMERGENCY ROAD KIT I GAVE YOU-- 474 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:14,567 OHHH. AND BY THE WAY, 475 00:20:14,634 --> 00:20:16,567 I'M GONNA REPLACE THE CRACKERS-- 476 00:20:16,634 --> 00:20:19,734 BUT AFTER YOU GAVE ME SUCH AN AMAZING GIFT, 477 00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:21,834 I JUST FELT I NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING MORE. 478 00:20:21,901 --> 00:20:23,667 OHH. 479 00:20:23,734 --> 00:20:25,200 SO I GOT YOU THIS. 480 00:20:29,534 --> 00:20:32,133 YOU CAN SHOW THIS TO ANYBODY YOU WANT. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 32879

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