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1
00:00:01,628 --> 00:00:02,987
Hello.
2
00:00:03,323 --> 00:00:05,761
I'm not going to lie,
I'm a bit down.
3
00:00:05,762 --> 00:00:08,963
I've been in hiding since I
blurted out that I love Gary.
4
00:00:08,964 --> 00:00:11,042
I'm such a dweeby blurter.
5
00:00:11,043 --> 00:00:13,162
He just wants to be friends.
6
00:00:13,163 --> 00:00:14,323
I must duvet cocoon.
7
00:00:17,323 --> 00:00:19,242
That's better.
8
00:00:19,243 --> 00:00:23,521
I was so down that Mum came to stay
and that just made it worse.
9
00:00:23,522 --> 00:00:25,643
Is that the baddy or the goody?
Goody.
10
00:00:25,644 --> 00:00:27,402
He looks baddy.
11
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:28,614
Oh!
12
00:00:28,615 --> 00:00:30,894
Of course! I saw him in Spooks.
13
00:00:30,895 --> 00:00:33,655
Why can't the elderly
ever just watch television?
14
00:00:34,975 --> 00:00:37,813
Ooh, sex scene.
Reminds me of Brighton '72.
15
00:00:37,814 --> 00:00:40,055
We played this amazing
game of naked Twister...
16
00:00:40,056 --> 00:00:41,894
Unacceptable!
17
00:00:41,895 --> 00:00:46,094
So I'm home alone and coping fine.
18
00:00:46,095 --> 00:00:54,094
♪ On my own
pretending he's beside me
19
00:00:54,095 --> 00:01:01,494
♪ All alone
I walk with him till morning
20
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:03,855
♪ I love him... ♪
21
00:01:06,015 --> 00:01:11,494
♪ But when the night is over
he is gone. ♪
22
00:01:11,495 --> 00:01:12,734
I'm fine.
23
00:01:12,735 --> 00:01:16,335
No, I'm fine, and I've now got
a family to get over Gary.
24
00:01:16,336 --> 00:01:21,814
So this is Larry, Barry, Carrie,
Harry, Glengarry,
25
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:24,374
and this is Sheila.
26
00:01:24,375 --> 00:01:25,814
So...
27
00:01:25,815 --> 00:01:27,255
Yeah, I'll be fine now.
28
00:01:27,256 --> 00:01:32,294
I did think about going away, but
even the travel agent was stressy.
29
00:01:32,295 --> 00:01:34,735
We've got nice breaks
in Lanzarote for two.
30
00:01:34,736 --> 00:01:36,814
Oh, it's for one. For one?
31
00:01:36,815 --> 00:01:38,214
Er...
32
00:01:38,215 --> 00:01:39,894
Ooh, Madeira.
33
00:01:39,895 --> 00:01:42,934
No, two sharing. Hefty...
34
00:01:42,935 --> 00:01:44,813
single supplement.
Single supplement!
35
00:01:44,814 --> 00:01:47,173
Why? If anything,
WE should be compensated
36
00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:50,415
for the amount of times we've had
to send ourselves Valentines cards.
37
00:01:50,416 --> 00:01:52,054
Not that I've done that.
38
00:01:52,055 --> 00:01:54,014
I have done that.
39
00:01:54,015 --> 00:01:57,853
And we use less linen, less shower
gel and much more minibar.
40
00:01:57,854 --> 00:02:01,535
Maybe if you used more shower gel,
you'd be less single.
41
00:02:15,175 --> 00:02:17,095
Just trying to storm out.
42
00:02:19,575 --> 00:02:20,735
Sticky hinge there.
43
00:02:23,775 --> 00:02:26,574
Who needs relationships
when kittens,
44
00:02:26,575 --> 00:02:29,454
the culinary phrase,
"Pierce film lid,"
45
00:02:29,455 --> 00:02:31,615
and this bad boy are in the world?
46
00:02:31,616 --> 00:02:32,814
I give you...
47
00:02:32,815 --> 00:02:34,934
the cushioned lap tray.
48
00:02:34,935 --> 00:02:37,015
Oh, yes. Cue titles.
49
00:02:37,930 --> 00:02:48,511
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
50
00:02:49,615 --> 00:02:52,773
Oh! What, please, caller
is happening, please, thank you?
51
00:02:52,774 --> 00:02:55,013
Thank you, to you,
for asking, please.
52
00:02:55,014 --> 00:02:57,733
I have made
an executive life decisione.
53
00:02:57,734 --> 00:03:00,935
In fact, go ahead, please, caller,
thank you, to you, please.
54
00:03:01,975 --> 00:03:05,854
♪ What have you done today
to make you feel proud? ♪
55
00:03:05,855 --> 00:03:07,575
Today, Heather, hello to you...
56
00:03:07,576 --> 00:03:10,414
I have begun a Gary-free life.
57
00:03:10,415 --> 00:03:11,894
Happy in singleness.
58
00:03:11,895 --> 00:03:15,893
Well, apologies, but we cannot
hop aboard your life decisione.
59
00:03:15,894 --> 00:03:18,375
We still think
you should talk to him.
60
00:03:18,376 --> 00:03:19,695
Don't we? ♪ Yes. ♪
61
00:03:20,735 --> 00:03:23,293
He's been busy
on restaurant recces all week,
62
00:03:23,294 --> 00:03:25,375
neither of you has had
the chance to really talk.
63
00:03:25,376 --> 00:03:26,414
I can't.
64
00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:28,413
Well, ending
on an administration note,
65
00:03:28,414 --> 00:03:31,293
please use the skip outside
for this nonsense.
66
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:34,013
Morning, darling.
Hello, Stevie, how are you?
67
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,773
Well, I'm all... Back to me.
68
00:03:35,774 --> 00:03:37,653
I have an important announcement.
69
00:03:37,654 --> 00:03:38,773
Your father and I...
70
00:03:38,774 --> 00:03:40,495
I can't come.
You don't know what it is.
71
00:03:40,496 --> 00:03:42,054
Already sounds awful.
72
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:45,495
On Saturday morning, your father
and I are having a ceremony.
73
00:03:45,496 --> 00:03:46,694
Where's it going?
74
00:03:46,695 --> 00:03:48,534
To renew our vows!
75
00:03:48,535 --> 00:03:49,695
Even the notion!
76
00:03:50,935 --> 00:03:52,255
As I say, I can't come.
77
00:03:52,256 --> 00:03:54,614
Why not? Well, I will be...
78
00:03:54,615 --> 00:03:57,175
washing the Queen's cheese.
79
00:03:59,015 --> 00:04:01,134
Right, the timetable.
80
00:04:01,135 --> 00:04:03,575
I've booked a dress fitting
here in an hour,
81
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:06,134
then you can help me write my vows.
82
00:04:06,135 --> 00:04:07,893
I'd rather deep fat fry my face.
83
00:04:07,894 --> 00:04:09,295
The florist is coming...
84
00:04:09,296 --> 00:04:12,534
Hola les peepsicles!
85
00:04:12,535 --> 00:04:17,175
Arretez immediatement what you are
doing for the Tilly O'Clock News.
86
00:04:17,176 --> 00:04:18,575
Dong!
87
00:04:20,095 --> 00:04:21,775
We're just on me, Tilly, so...
88
00:04:21,776 --> 00:04:22,935
Dong!
89
00:04:24,015 --> 00:04:27,494
And the headlines tonight...
90
00:04:27,495 --> 00:04:28,974
I think I'm in love!
91
00:04:28,975 --> 00:04:31,134
I'm on a cloud Nine-gella!
92
00:04:31,135 --> 00:04:32,773
Smashing, now back to me.
93
00:04:32,774 --> 00:04:34,333
No, no, Pen-pen, back to me.
94
00:04:34,334 --> 00:04:37,413
So I'm going to bring him over
later for proper introductiones,
95
00:04:37,414 --> 00:04:38,693
and then we can talk about...
96
00:04:38,694 --> 00:04:42,175
Talk about my vows ceremoniones.
Back to me. Back to me!
97
00:04:42,176 --> 00:04:43,214
Excuse me!
98
00:04:43,215 --> 00:04:45,293
I am getting over a man
who I've been in love with
99
00:04:45,294 --> 00:04:46,533
for the last 14 years,
100
00:04:46,534 --> 00:04:49,733
who if I saw I would, literally,
die of embarrassment.
101
00:04:49,734 --> 00:04:53,213
And today is the beginning
of my life as a committed spinster,
102
00:04:53,214 --> 00:04:55,855
so, if anything,
back to me-ioniones...
103
00:04:55,856 --> 00:04:57,574
Thoth-oth-oth-th!
104
00:04:57,575 --> 00:05:01,375
Committed spinster? She's already
one step away from being the...
105
00:05:01,376 --> 00:05:02,855
Local weirdo.
106
00:05:05,375 --> 00:05:06,655
I am not weird.
107
00:05:08,775 --> 00:05:10,974
Oh, no!
108
00:05:10,975 --> 00:05:13,255
I'm going it alone. OK?
I can manage.
109
00:05:16,095 --> 00:05:17,135
I'm fine.
110
00:05:24,935 --> 00:05:27,255
OK, no, it's fine.
I'm absolutely...
111
00:05:27,256 --> 00:05:28,295
If I just...
112
00:05:32,535 --> 00:05:33,573
Sorry. I'll be fine.
113
00:05:33,574 --> 00:05:34,815
I'll be fine. Just...
114
00:05:38,375 --> 00:05:39,415
No, that's, er...
115
00:05:40,495 --> 00:05:42,935
Don't help me. Don't help me.
116
00:05:45,135 --> 00:05:47,095
I've got it now.
117
00:06:05,735 --> 00:06:08,053
Just tell the driver
not to move off, please.
118
00:06:08,054 --> 00:06:09,695
You said you were going it alone.
119
00:06:10,735 --> 00:06:14,895
Tell him there's an inadvertent
passenger in his load, please.
120
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:28,695
Well, I really enjoyed
the landfill site.
121
00:06:29,975 --> 00:06:31,854
Oh, isn't she fabulous?
122
00:06:31,855 --> 00:06:33,973
I bet she's a cool,
not weird, spinster.
123
00:06:33,974 --> 00:06:35,773
Look at her sort of swishing.
124
00:06:35,774 --> 00:06:38,173
Ooh, I instantly want her
to be my new best friend.
125
00:06:38,174 --> 00:06:40,013
Yeah. Oh, hang on, I saw her first.
126
00:06:40,014 --> 00:06:41,695
No, but she's more
my kind of person.
127
00:06:41,696 --> 00:06:44,294
- Oh, wrong, because you...
- Ooh!
128
00:06:44,295 --> 00:06:45,454
Yoo-hoo!
129
00:06:45,455 --> 00:06:47,573
Would you mind putting
some postcards in here
130
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,375
to advertise
my painting and designing?
131
00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:51,495
OF course, yeah.
132
00:06:52,615 --> 00:06:53,655
Ow!
133
00:06:58,495 --> 00:07:00,775
Oh, they're stunning.
Oh, wow, you're so clever.
134
00:07:00,776 --> 00:07:01,934
Oh, thank you.
135
00:07:01,935 --> 00:07:04,214
Yeah, that was a view in Morocco,
136
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:06,733
when I was living with a tribe
for three months.
137
00:07:06,734 --> 00:07:09,655
Oh, just living with a tribe
for three months.
138
00:07:09,656 --> 00:07:11,534
Oh, I had you pegged.
139
00:07:11,535 --> 00:07:12,615
Don't touch her.
140
00:07:14,095 --> 00:07:17,133
Creative, your own woman,
travel, yeah, I identify.
141
00:07:17,134 --> 00:07:19,935
Yeah, well, I try to be open,
you know, go with the flow.
142
00:07:19,936 --> 00:07:21,734
Hallelujah, sister.
143
00:07:21,735 --> 00:07:23,254
Go with the flow.
144
00:07:23,255 --> 00:07:24,814
You, flow?
145
00:07:24,815 --> 00:07:26,615
She doesn't flow, I fl-...
146
00:07:28,655 --> 00:07:32,614
Yeah. No, I flow, you know,
break conventions.
147
00:07:32,615 --> 00:07:33,974
I mean, last night,
148
00:07:33,975 --> 00:07:37,215
I had an After Eight
at quarter past seven.
149
00:07:38,615 --> 00:07:40,654
We're of the same elk.
150
00:07:40,655 --> 00:07:42,655
Not elk, that's a deer. Ilk.
151
00:07:43,695 --> 00:07:45,374
Ilk. Yeah.
152
00:07:45,375 --> 00:07:46,973
So you've been single a lot?
153
00:07:46,974 --> 00:07:49,653
Well,
it's important to be a free spirit.
154
00:07:49,654 --> 00:07:51,535
Have you been to Morocco? HAVE I?
155
00:07:51,536 --> 00:07:52,575
Have you? No.
156
00:07:53,775 --> 00:07:59,295
I don't swish like you, I sort of
stress like a constipated meerkat.
157
00:08:01,855 --> 00:08:03,454
Miranda.
158
00:08:03,455 --> 00:08:05,453
Oh, Miranda. I'm meeting your mum.
159
00:08:05,454 --> 00:08:07,335
I'm designing the dress
for her ceremony.
160
00:08:07,336 --> 00:08:08,614
I'm Helena.
161
00:08:08,615 --> 00:08:11,174
Helena, my new best friend.
162
00:08:11,175 --> 00:08:12,775
I'm Stevie. I love you. OK...
163
00:08:15,375 --> 00:08:18,214
Helena, I'm so sorry I'm late.
164
00:08:18,215 --> 00:08:20,654
Bumped in to Bunty Lumley-Kendall.
165
00:08:20,655 --> 00:08:23,335
She's had the most wonderful,
what I call, idea.
166
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,494
It is an idea.
167
00:08:24,495 --> 00:08:28,334
Tomorrow night at yours, Miranda,
a Penny shower!
168
00:08:28,335 --> 00:08:31,494
Ah! Such fun!
169
00:08:31,495 --> 00:08:34,853
I'd rather be pecked to death
by an angry blue tit.
170
00:08:34,854 --> 00:08:36,733
Jennifer Truss-Funde is on eats.
171
00:08:36,734 --> 00:08:38,413
She's thrilled with the distraction,
172
00:08:38,414 --> 00:08:40,535
because she's in the throes
of a personal summer.
173
00:08:40,536 --> 00:08:43,654
As in ghastly MENOPAUSE.
174
00:08:43,655 --> 00:08:47,095
Now, I've nearly finished my vows.
Listen to this bit.
175
00:08:47,096 --> 00:08:50,414
All I have on, I drop to the floor.
176
00:08:50,415 --> 00:08:52,454
Gang, gang!
177
00:08:52,455 --> 00:08:55,054
I intro my beau.
178
00:08:55,055 --> 00:08:57,295
Now! Now, now!
Entree, entree, entree!
179
00:08:57,296 --> 00:09:00,135
Surprise, surprise, what?
180
00:09:02,615 --> 00:09:04,814
You and Ping Pong Charlie?
181
00:09:04,815 --> 00:09:06,894
Totes amazeballs!
182
00:09:06,895 --> 00:09:10,294
Feeling Tipsy, La-la and Po.
183
00:09:10,295 --> 00:09:11,655
Teletubbies!
184
00:09:14,375 --> 00:09:16,333
And it's 100 percenter-tentacles
185
00:09:16,334 --> 00:09:18,655
not because the single pool
is so teeny weeny.
186
00:09:18,656 --> 00:09:20,015
Ahhh...
187
00:09:21,935 --> 00:09:24,974
By the by,
it's Cucumber Charlie now.
188
00:09:24,975 --> 00:09:27,574
Funny story. In the mess kitchen,
189
00:09:27,575 --> 00:09:31,134
stealing cucumber
for illegal Pimmsy drinkus,
190
00:09:31,135 --> 00:09:33,733
chef comes in,
cucumber down trousers,
191
00:09:33,734 --> 00:09:36,055
chef grabs, and the second time,
he gets the cucumber!
192
00:09:39,415 --> 00:09:41,093
Smashing. Now back to my vows.
193
00:09:41,094 --> 00:09:43,735
No, no. Wait, wait, wait.
How did this happen? Yes!
194
00:09:43,736 --> 00:09:45,574
In Cyprus.
195
00:09:45,575 --> 00:09:46,815
Long story or short?
196
00:09:46,816 --> 00:09:51,094
Short!
Sambuca, donkey,
rumpy de pumpy!
197
00:09:51,095 --> 00:09:52,335
Eee-awww! Ooh!
198
00:09:56,895 --> 00:09:59,135
I'm loving it. Loving the loving.
199
00:09:59,136 --> 00:10:03,134
You don't need it, Miranda.
You just embrace aloneness.
200
00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:06,495
Yes. Correctomundomisinusacouscous.
201
00:10:07,535 --> 00:10:09,694
I shall be a free spirit now.
202
00:10:09,695 --> 00:10:12,255
Yeah, dine alone.
That proved it for me.
203
00:10:12,256 --> 00:10:15,694
Dine alone! I will accept
that challenge, sister.
204
00:10:15,695 --> 00:10:19,934
Yeah! I will swish through life now.
205
00:10:19,935 --> 00:10:22,335
This is me miming
wearing a long skirt.
206
00:10:22,336 --> 00:10:23,374
Yeah.
207
00:10:23,375 --> 00:10:26,335
Ooh, it's gone a bit flamenco,
hasn't it?
208
00:10:27,375 --> 00:10:28,453
Ooh, sorry, sorry.
209
00:10:28,454 --> 00:10:31,135
No, sorry, that was just
the stamp movement. Sorry.
210
00:10:34,575 --> 00:10:37,254
Swishing and flowing...
211
00:10:37,255 --> 00:10:40,895
Hello. I've got a reservation.
Miranda - table for one.
212
00:10:40,896 --> 00:10:42,574
Oh, yes. Table for one!
213
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:45,095
Ooh, can we keep a bit low key?
Is that all right?
214
00:10:48,535 --> 00:10:49,575
Ooh!
215
00:10:50,655 --> 00:10:52,615
Pick me,
I come with cream or custard!
216
00:10:52,616 --> 00:10:53,654
Ooh!
217
00:10:53,655 --> 00:10:54,693
Sorry about that.
218
00:10:54,694 --> 00:10:55,855
Thank you so much...
219
00:10:59,535 --> 00:11:01,254
Oh, right. Ooh!
220
00:11:01,255 --> 00:11:04,455
You sweep me up. That's always
an unnerving moment, isn't it?
221
00:11:07,775 --> 00:11:09,174
Good evening.
222
00:11:09,175 --> 00:11:10,855
Feel a bit conspicuous.
223
00:11:12,175 --> 00:11:13,735
Fake phone admin.
224
00:11:18,375 --> 00:11:20,615
Important person.
225
00:11:22,735 --> 00:11:25,453
Oh, hi, babe,
are you stuck in traffic?
226
00:11:25,454 --> 00:11:28,655
Yeah the modelling job
went on a bit, did it? Yeah.
227
00:11:28,656 --> 00:11:30,815
Boyfriend.
228
00:11:36,495 --> 00:11:37,695
What can I get madam?
229
00:11:37,696 --> 00:11:40,774
Madam would like
a glass of Prosecco,
230
00:11:40,775 --> 00:11:44,054
and, er... ooh,
I think the seafood medley,
231
00:11:44,055 --> 00:11:46,374
which I presume means...
232
00:11:46,375 --> 00:11:49,175
they'll be singing songs
from the shows.
233
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:51,614
No, they don't.
234
00:11:51,615 --> 00:11:54,095
No, I know. 'Twas a little joke.
235
00:11:58,735 --> 00:12:00,895
Well, I wouldn't
want to be seen by anyone,
236
00:12:00,896 --> 00:12:04,375
but madam's beginning to feel OK.
237
00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:07,893
Gary! How you doing?
I'm good, how are you?
238
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:11,015
Very well, thank you. Good to
see you! This is lovely, isn't it?
239
00:12:14,575 --> 00:12:16,413
Ooh! That's a hearty moustache.
240
00:12:16,414 --> 00:12:18,893
What are you doing?
I'm just hiding from someone.
241
00:12:18,894 --> 00:12:20,173
Yes, but you can't stay here.
242
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:22,175
Just for one moment,
my furry friend.
243
00:12:23,215 --> 00:12:25,295
Ooh! It's a bit sudden but, er...
244
00:12:25,296 --> 00:12:26,535
OK, I do!
245
00:12:31,575 --> 00:12:32,614
Right.
246
00:12:32,615 --> 00:12:34,174
Well...
247
00:12:34,175 --> 00:12:36,855
You HAVE to laugh about all this!
248
00:12:39,415 --> 00:12:41,055
It's really funny, no?
249
00:12:42,055 --> 00:12:44,175
I think any minute now,
you'll think,
250
00:12:44,176 --> 00:12:48,214
"How funny that she ruined
the best moment of my life."
251
00:12:48,215 --> 00:12:50,495
So funny, isn't it?
252
00:12:52,215 --> 00:12:55,334
He finds it hilarious!
253
00:12:55,335 --> 00:12:56,375
OK!
254
00:12:58,655 --> 00:12:59,814
Now is it funny?
255
00:12:59,815 --> 00:13:01,055
Is it funny? No.
256
00:13:03,015 --> 00:13:04,094
Now?
257
00:13:04,095 --> 00:13:06,175
Is it... I'll just go.
258
00:13:09,495 --> 00:13:11,335
Er, where have you been all morning?
259
00:13:11,336 --> 00:13:12,774
Estate agents.
260
00:13:12,775 --> 00:13:15,655
I have made an even bigger
life decisione.
261
00:13:17,455 --> 00:13:19,655
I'm going to sell the flat, Stevie.
262
00:13:19,656 --> 00:13:21,094
I'm going away. What?
263
00:13:21,095 --> 00:13:24,495
Well, I'm always going to
bump into Gary, and it's always
going to be too painful.
264
00:13:24,496 --> 00:13:25,894
Are you serious?
265
00:13:25,895 --> 00:13:27,613
No, you won't really go away.
266
00:13:27,614 --> 00:13:30,615
You're all mouth and no trouser
on the travel front.
267
00:13:30,616 --> 00:13:34,455
Sometimes, literally,
if you remember Marbella '96?
268
00:13:38,415 --> 00:13:40,054
Stevie, Stevie.
269
00:13:40,055 --> 00:13:43,374
Belt stuck.
Belt stuck on the travelator.
270
00:13:43,375 --> 00:13:45,054
Stevie!
271
00:13:45,055 --> 00:13:46,535
Stevie!
272
00:13:51,655 --> 00:13:55,654
I am going to Marbella! Marbella!
273
00:13:55,655 --> 00:13:58,934
I am ready to sow
some travelly oats. So...
274
00:13:58,935 --> 00:14:00,934
Look at my free spirit, yeah.
275
00:14:00,935 --> 00:14:03,454
What place springs to mind?
276
00:14:03,455 --> 00:14:04,494
Harpenden.
277
00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:06,294
Harpenden? Yes.
278
00:14:06,295 --> 00:14:07,775
You've got me all wrong.
279
00:14:07,776 --> 00:14:09,335
No, I can be a Helena.
280
00:14:10,375 --> 00:14:11,494
I know!
281
00:14:11,495 --> 00:14:13,694
Morocco!
282
00:14:13,695 --> 00:14:15,854
Yes, Miranda in Morocco.
283
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,175
They'll rename it Miracco.
284
00:14:19,215 --> 00:14:20,893
I won't have to go to mum's vows.
285
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,853
Don't tell her I'm going.
I won't tell anyone.
286
00:14:22,854 --> 00:14:24,413
Will you take the kittens?
287
00:14:24,414 --> 00:14:26,855
Of course, but are you
really doing this? Yeah.
288
00:14:26,856 --> 00:14:28,894
I am out of here, Stevie.
289
00:14:28,895 --> 00:14:34,774
I shall maraca to Miracco. Yeah?
290
00:14:34,775 --> 00:14:37,654
How is this, Harpenden?
291
00:14:37,655 --> 00:14:38,894
This...
292
00:14:38,895 --> 00:14:40,574
This, my friend...
293
00:14:40,575 --> 00:14:42,134
is exotic.
294
00:14:42,135 --> 00:14:44,174
Nay, erotic.
295
00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:45,735
Ah, three, four, five, six.
296
00:14:48,495 --> 00:14:51,655
Well, it's less good
with just the stick, but, er...
297
00:14:51,656 --> 00:14:52,694
I can rock it.
298
00:14:52,695 --> 00:14:54,535
Percussion!
299
00:14:56,895 --> 00:14:59,654
Ahh...
This is better.
300
00:14:59,655 --> 00:15:00,695
Gary who?
301
00:15:03,095 --> 00:15:04,814
Well, don't judge me.
302
00:15:04,815 --> 00:15:06,693
No, I know we've been here before,
303
00:15:06,694 --> 00:15:09,495
but you know how much
I love a hotel room.
304
00:15:10,775 --> 00:15:12,774
I just went to the bathroom.
305
00:15:12,775 --> 00:15:14,815
The loo roll had a pointy tip!
306
00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:19,415
Is there a random spare pillow
in the top of the cupboard?
307
00:15:20,415 --> 00:15:22,574
Yes, there is!
308
00:15:22,575 --> 00:15:25,374
Hotel slipper. Brilliant.
309
00:15:25,375 --> 00:15:27,654
Ooh...
310
00:15:27,655 --> 00:15:31,375
Although always too small and hard
to walk in, the hotel slippers.
311
00:15:31,376 --> 00:15:33,894
Friction-tastic.
312
00:15:33,895 --> 00:15:37,013
You ordered extra milk.
Yes, do come in, thank you.
313
00:15:37,014 --> 00:15:40,735
I always find it takes at least 20,
what I call, milklets
314
00:15:40,736 --> 00:15:42,974
to make a cup of tea.
315
00:15:42,975 --> 00:15:44,614
We've met before.
316
00:15:44,615 --> 00:15:46,295
Yes.
317
00:15:47,495 --> 00:15:49,255
Oh, well, nice to see you again...
318
00:15:49,256 --> 00:15:50,974
Jason.
319
00:15:50,975 --> 00:15:52,495
You are lovely.
320
00:15:54,935 --> 00:15:56,575
Youthful, yet rugged.
321
00:15:57,935 --> 00:15:59,055
Now I wanted... oh!
322
00:16:03,655 --> 00:16:06,215
Hi, yes, I wanted to order
an early turn-down.
323
00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:07,255
Thank you.
324
00:16:09,095 --> 00:16:11,815
Oh, Jason!
325
00:16:15,135 --> 00:16:16,174
I knew it!
326
00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:19,453
You say you've gone abroad.
You're at the Hamilton Lodge.
327
00:16:19,454 --> 00:16:21,295
Gary's been looking for you.
328
00:16:21,296 --> 00:16:23,574
Oh, no! He says your phone's off.
329
00:16:23,575 --> 00:16:25,293
No! I knew there was hope.
330
00:16:25,294 --> 00:16:26,535
You're coming back!
331
00:16:26,536 --> 00:16:28,055
Get out of my duvet!
332
00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:31,374
I want to duvet cocoon.
333
00:16:31,375 --> 00:16:33,894
Oh, stop cocooning! I'm stuck!
334
00:16:33,895 --> 00:16:36,613
OK, well, hold still,
and I'll mount out.
335
00:16:36,614 --> 00:16:37,895
Turn-down service...
336
00:16:40,735 --> 00:16:41,974
I'll come back.
337
00:16:41,975 --> 00:16:43,375
She was just mounting.
338
00:16:43,376 --> 00:16:44,894
Don't say that.
339
00:16:44,895 --> 00:16:46,333
You're blocking my exit!
340
00:16:46,334 --> 00:16:47,973
OK, everything you're saying.
341
00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:51,815
Look, I'll go. No, no, no. Stay,
stay, stay. I think I can... Ohh!
342
00:16:51,816 --> 00:16:54,054
That's better. No!
343
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,215
Sorry. There we go.
344
00:16:55,216 --> 00:16:56,454
Just, er...
345
00:16:56,455 --> 00:16:58,454
Just turn me down, thank you.
346
00:16:58,455 --> 00:16:59,855
It's 11 o'clock in the mo...
347
00:16:59,856 --> 00:17:00,894
Oh!
348
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:01,935
Wow!
349
00:17:02,975 --> 00:17:04,014
You're a bit...
350
00:17:04,015 --> 00:17:05,294
Sorry.
351
00:17:05,295 --> 00:17:07,734
Why do you even want a turn-down?
352
00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:09,854
Why do I want a turn-down?!
353
00:17:09,855 --> 00:17:13,293
Because you slip in, roll over,
there's a chocolate!
354
00:17:13,294 --> 00:17:15,493
She doesn't need a
turn-down service.
355
00:17:15,494 --> 00:17:16,653
Just turn me down.
356
00:17:16,654 --> 00:17:17,735
I might just go.
357
00:17:17,736 --> 00:17:18,775
Turn me down!
358
00:17:19,855 --> 00:17:21,815
I'm going to start a new life...
359
00:17:21,816 --> 00:17:23,095
With Jason.
360
00:17:26,255 --> 00:17:27,533
It's from Gary. He says,
361
00:17:27,534 --> 00:17:30,053
"If you're with Miranda,
please tell her to come and talk."
362
00:17:30,054 --> 00:17:32,333
Right, you're not selling the flat
or going anywhere
363
00:17:32,334 --> 00:17:33,695
without talking to him.
364
00:17:33,696 --> 00:17:35,054
You'd regret it.
365
00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:36,095
You're right.
366
00:17:37,095 --> 00:17:38,814
Well...
367
00:17:38,815 --> 00:17:40,655
We'll always have room 24.
368
00:17:42,455 --> 00:17:46,134
I could slip in to the turn-down.
369
00:17:46,135 --> 00:17:48,534
Oh, dear.
370
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:51,135
We're cougars!
371
00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:53,894
Sorry.
372
00:17:53,895 --> 00:17:55,655
Sorry. We've let ourselves down.
373
00:17:55,656 --> 00:17:56,814
OK.
374
00:17:56,815 --> 00:17:57,855
So sorry. Quick!
375
00:18:02,135 --> 00:18:03,535
Last look.
376
00:18:05,215 --> 00:18:06,295
Ohhh...
377
00:18:07,335 --> 00:18:09,973
Free stuff! Get free stuff!
Free stuff! I want a sewing kit!
378
00:18:09,974 --> 00:18:12,895
No... A tiny little...
I'm taking a kettle!
379
00:18:19,335 --> 00:18:20,654
Oh, hi!
380
00:18:20,655 --> 00:18:22,855
Oh, I'm so relieved.
I thought you'd gone away.
381
00:18:22,856 --> 00:18:24,254
So...
382
00:18:24,255 --> 00:18:25,615
I need to say...
383
00:18:29,015 --> 00:18:30,254
What?
384
00:18:30,255 --> 00:18:31,774
Oh, sorry.
385
00:18:31,775 --> 00:18:34,735
I'll be in room 24. Phwoar!
386
00:18:37,495 --> 00:18:39,133
Miranda, please don't go away.
387
00:18:39,134 --> 00:18:40,815
I can't imagine you
not being around,
388
00:18:40,816 --> 00:18:43,695
and I know I said just friends,
but...
389
00:18:45,455 --> 00:18:46,814
But what?
390
00:18:46,815 --> 00:18:47,895
But...
391
00:18:49,375 --> 00:18:51,253
You can't say any more, Gary.
392
00:18:51,254 --> 00:18:52,373
You don't have a but.
393
00:18:52,374 --> 00:18:54,253
I mean, you have a physical butt.
394
00:18:54,254 --> 00:18:56,615
Your physical butt
is second to none.
395
00:18:56,616 --> 00:18:58,414
Sorry. But, um...
396
00:18:58,415 --> 00:19:01,175
Well, you'll never man up
for your emotional but.
397
00:19:01,176 --> 00:19:02,894
So...
398
00:19:02,895 --> 00:19:05,894
This lady has a-flown.
She is a-sailing.
399
00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:08,254
I swish now. That's a chair.
400
00:19:08,255 --> 00:19:10,174
That's a chair.
401
00:19:10,175 --> 00:19:11,215
I swish now.
402
00:19:16,895 --> 00:19:18,734
Right. Is that all of you?
403
00:19:18,735 --> 00:19:20,973
Now, Stevie's taking me
to the airport,
404
00:19:20,974 --> 00:19:23,255
and then she'll come
and get you, OK?
405
00:19:24,615 --> 00:19:28,055
Well, at least we had a great
last round of our favourite game.
406
00:19:29,055 --> 00:19:31,254
Where's Miranda...?
407
00:19:31,255 --> 00:19:33,975
'Unidentified item
in the bagging area.'
408
00:19:36,735 --> 00:19:40,214
Funny!
409
00:19:40,215 --> 00:19:42,174
Bye, flat.
410
00:19:42,175 --> 00:19:45,293
I'm sorry I had to sell you,
but I hope you have some lovely
new owners.
411
00:19:45,294 --> 00:19:46,575
I'm talking to a flat.
412
00:19:50,415 --> 00:19:51,934
Aww...
413
00:19:51,935 --> 00:19:54,253
'Please hold the handrail,
and disembark safely.'
414
00:19:54,254 --> 00:19:56,495
Health and safety gone mad!
It's just an escalator.
415
00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:57,535
Ooh!
416
00:19:58,655 --> 00:19:59,934
Surprising!
417
00:19:59,935 --> 00:20:00,975
Ooh!
418
00:20:07,775 --> 00:20:10,654
Right, this is it.
419
00:20:10,655 --> 00:20:12,414
I'll miss you so much.
420
00:20:12,415 --> 00:20:13,655
Bye.
421
00:20:20,735 --> 00:20:22,735
Why the zigzag
when there's no-one here?
422
00:20:35,135 --> 00:20:37,493
Is this your bag, madam?
Yes, is there a problem?
423
00:20:37,494 --> 00:20:39,295
It is now a suspicious package,
madam.
424
00:20:39,296 --> 00:20:40,454
Excuse me.
425
00:20:40,455 --> 00:20:42,373
I do not have a suspicious package.
426
00:20:42,374 --> 00:20:44,693
Well, it looks like a pretty
suspicious package to us.
427
00:20:44,694 --> 00:20:46,653
Well, if you don't pardon
the euphemism,
428
00:20:46,654 --> 00:20:48,975
you're more likely to have
a suspicious package.
429
00:20:50,815 --> 00:20:52,493
Do you want to let the cat
out of the bag?
430
00:20:52,494 --> 00:20:53,975
Open the case, please.
431
00:20:55,215 --> 00:20:56,855
Ahh...
432
00:20:58,815 --> 00:21:01,215
Someone needs to let the cat
out of the bag...
433
00:21:05,775 --> 00:21:07,373
I'll need to report this.
434
00:21:07,374 --> 00:21:09,773
Well, she obviously just got in
there when I was packing.
435
00:21:09,774 --> 00:21:12,693
Can't you put her in a taxi
to my home? Because I've got to get
a flight.
436
00:21:12,694 --> 00:21:16,575
I'd get in to trouble if I didn't
let the cat out of the bag about
letting the cat out of the bag.
437
00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:18,614
You may not have noticed,
438
00:21:18,615 --> 00:21:21,693
but I didn't find the cat in the bag
joke funny the first time.
439
00:21:21,694 --> 00:21:24,293
Someone needs to let the cat
out of the bag.
440
00:21:24,294 --> 00:21:26,013
Terry, did you hear what I said?
441
00:21:26,014 --> 00:21:28,015
Because she's got a cat in her bag.
442
00:21:28,016 --> 00:21:29,054
Oh, yeah, look.
443
00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:31,335
Someone needs to let the cat
out of the bag.
444
00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:34,415
Someone needs to let the cat
out of the bag.
445
00:21:35,455 --> 00:21:38,133
If I hear cat in the bag
one more time, I will blow.
446
00:21:38,134 --> 00:21:39,175
I swear, I will blow!
447
00:21:39,176 --> 00:21:40,215
Ooh!
448
00:21:42,615 --> 00:21:43,655
Oh!
449
00:21:44,655 --> 00:21:47,175
Well, in some ways,
this has ended how I'd like it.
450
00:21:52,055 --> 00:21:54,055
Tena pads!
451
00:21:55,975 --> 00:21:58,134
Oh, there you are, darling.
452
00:21:58,135 --> 00:22:00,215
You've just missed
Pass the HRT Parcel.
453
00:22:00,216 --> 00:22:05,175
Now it's time for Pin the Tail on
Carol Vorderman's rear of the year.
454
00:22:08,055 --> 00:22:09,214
Oh, big one!
455
00:22:09,215 --> 00:22:12,855
What are you doing? I'm on an
emotional rollercoaster here.
456
00:22:12,856 --> 00:22:14,534
Sheila was in my bag.
457
00:22:14,535 --> 00:22:15,814
Don't laugh.
458
00:22:15,815 --> 00:22:17,573
Oh, Stevie, I was so ready to go.
459
00:22:17,574 --> 00:22:20,895
Grab the globe.
Wherever it lands, you go. Right.
460
00:22:20,896 --> 00:22:22,854
I bloody love Vorders!
461
00:22:22,855 --> 00:22:23,895
Ooh!
462
00:22:25,815 --> 00:22:27,294
Wick?
463
00:22:27,295 --> 00:22:29,094
Tippety top of Scotland.
464
00:22:29,095 --> 00:22:31,454
In the UK, can go by train.
465
00:22:31,455 --> 00:22:35,454
No suntan lotions,
no bikinis, lots of batter.
466
00:22:35,455 --> 00:22:37,533
Look up times, my petite amigo.
467
00:22:37,534 --> 00:22:41,735
With my body I honour you as often
as you need a good honouring.
468
00:22:42,855 --> 00:22:45,935
There's one at 9:00am...
But you'd miss the vows.
469
00:22:45,936 --> 00:22:47,255
Book it, book it!
470
00:22:48,735 --> 00:22:50,295
BOOK IT!
471
00:22:53,415 --> 00:22:54,934
Right.
472
00:22:54,935 --> 00:22:55,975
This is it.
473
00:23:13,695 --> 00:23:17,135
I'm sorry, but I'm leaving home
and there was swelling music, so...
474
00:23:17,136 --> 00:23:18,214
Tyrone!
475
00:23:18,215 --> 00:23:19,735
Look what this woman done!
476
00:23:34,295 --> 00:23:35,335
Wait!
477
00:23:43,615 --> 00:23:46,575
I'm on the wrong train.
I'm on the wrong bleeding train.
478
00:23:49,575 --> 00:23:50,975
Wait!
479
00:23:51,975 --> 00:23:53,775
Ooh!
480
00:23:56,895 --> 00:23:58,494
Stevie told you.
481
00:23:58,495 --> 00:24:00,013
And I came straight away.
482
00:24:00,014 --> 00:24:01,493
I've got something to say.
483
00:24:01,494 --> 00:24:02,613
Oi! There she is.
484
00:24:02,614 --> 00:24:05,815
Youths! Youths? Run! Oh, Miranda,
what have you done now? Run!
485
00:24:05,816 --> 00:24:07,574
Wait for me! Come on!
486
00:24:07,575 --> 00:24:11,375
They won't be able to run for long.
Their trousers will trip them up.
487
00:24:11,376 --> 00:24:12,655
Come on!
488
00:24:15,735 --> 00:24:19,093
And you were right,
I needed to... Need to man up.
489
00:24:19,094 --> 00:24:21,135
I'm just sorry it's taken me
so long.
490
00:24:22,215 --> 00:24:23,254
So...
491
00:24:23,255 --> 00:24:25,175
When Stevie told me
that you were leaving,
492
00:24:25,176 --> 00:24:27,494
I knew what I had to do.
493
00:24:27,495 --> 00:24:29,334
I had to let you go.
494
00:24:29,335 --> 00:24:31,374
But... There's a but.
495
00:24:31,375 --> 00:24:33,135
Yeah, I'm manning up for my but.
496
00:24:33,136 --> 00:24:34,175
Don't!
497
00:24:35,535 --> 00:24:36,695
But...
498
00:24:38,415 --> 00:24:39,455
I realised...
499
00:24:40,535 --> 00:24:42,134
I can't let you go.
500
00:24:42,135 --> 00:24:44,575
Cos it's... it's always been you.
501
00:24:45,855 --> 00:24:47,695
Nice but.
502
00:24:48,935 --> 00:24:52,453
Are you sure, Gary? Cos I sculpt
fruit and call them names.
503
00:24:52,454 --> 00:24:55,493
And when my breasts are bra-free, I
can fit not just a pencil under them
504
00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:57,615
but both remote controls -
it's where I keep them.
505
00:25:05,375 --> 00:25:07,534
Wow!
506
00:25:07,535 --> 00:25:10,095
Was the remote control thing
that sexy?
507
00:25:11,135 --> 00:25:13,654
No-one can match up to you.
508
00:25:13,655 --> 00:25:15,135
I love you.
509
00:25:20,215 --> 00:25:21,253
What are you doing?
510
00:25:21,254 --> 00:25:22,853
Bored of you already! What...?
511
00:25:22,854 --> 00:25:24,413
I've got to go to the restaurant.
Oh!
512
00:25:24,414 --> 00:25:27,213
They're going to be back from the
ceremony in like ten minutes. OK.
513
00:25:27,214 --> 00:25:29,495
Er...
I'll change and come over. OK.
514
00:25:37,975 --> 00:25:39,015
I forgot to say...
515
00:25:45,055 --> 00:25:47,335
And we need the survey done
as soon as possible.
516
00:25:47,336 --> 00:25:49,374
Found it! Oh!
517
00:25:49,375 --> 00:25:51,054
You?!
518
00:25:51,055 --> 00:25:52,694
You're buying the flat?
519
00:25:52,695 --> 00:25:56,535
Well, I'm sorry, but actually,
it is no longer for sale.
520
00:25:56,536 --> 00:25:57,614
But we...
521
00:25:57,615 --> 00:26:01,175
Oh, sorry, it's not just you
that's all loved-up.
522
00:26:03,095 --> 00:26:04,455
Bye.
523
00:26:09,695 --> 00:26:12,773
Listen, I've really, really...
I've got to go. OK.
524
00:26:12,774 --> 00:26:16,735
I'll just, er... I'll see you
in a sec. See you later. OK.
525
00:26:28,815 --> 00:26:30,174
Hello.
526
00:26:30,175 --> 00:26:32,174
Hi!
527
00:26:32,175 --> 00:26:33,934
Mmm!
528
00:26:33,935 --> 00:26:35,573
This is so weird. I know!
529
00:26:35,574 --> 00:26:36,893
Shall we tell everyone?
530
00:26:36,894 --> 00:26:38,415
Oh, let's just wait for a bit.
531
00:26:38,416 --> 00:26:39,854
I don't think I can.
532
00:26:39,855 --> 00:26:43,375
Today? Everyone's here.
I mean, let's just wait and then...
533
00:26:43,376 --> 00:26:44,414
What?
534
00:26:44,415 --> 00:26:47,135
Well, the thought of telling
everyone and you froze.
535
00:26:47,136 --> 00:26:48,494
OK, I'm scared.
536
00:26:48,495 --> 00:26:50,573
I think, can I meet your needs?
Can I...
537
00:26:50,574 --> 00:26:53,975
Yeah, you see, I know that you think
that I'm needy but I'm not actually.
538
00:26:53,976 --> 00:26:56,014
I am with you because...
539
00:26:56,015 --> 00:26:58,134
you never affirm, Gary.
540
00:26:58,135 --> 00:27:00,614
If a man says, "I love you,"
541
00:27:00,615 --> 00:27:02,815
then that's all she needs.
542
00:27:03,815 --> 00:27:06,375
I can't go for this
if you're holding back.
543
00:27:06,376 --> 00:27:10,255
Just be patient, please, for me?
544
00:27:11,255 --> 00:27:13,335
Ooh!
545
00:27:14,895 --> 00:27:17,135
You've had more farewells than Cher.
546
00:27:18,935 --> 00:27:20,134
Are you staying?
547
00:27:20,135 --> 00:27:21,175
I don't know.
548
00:27:22,975 --> 00:27:25,934
That was quick, you're back!
549
00:27:25,935 --> 00:27:28,134
Oh! Darling!
550
00:27:28,135 --> 00:27:31,255
Oh, there's someone here who'll be
delighted. Where's he gone?
551
00:27:34,135 --> 00:27:35,175
Mike!
552
00:27:36,135 --> 00:27:38,135
What are you...?
Are you back for good?
553
00:27:38,136 --> 00:27:40,254
Well, that depends on...
554
00:27:40,255 --> 00:27:43,855
Well... a few weeks in Africa
was enough for me to know.
555
00:27:43,856 --> 00:27:45,055
Miranda...
556
00:27:46,335 --> 00:27:47,935
Will you marry me?
557
00:27:49,255 --> 00:27:50,695
What do you say?
558
00:27:52,095 --> 00:27:53,294
Well?
559
00:27:53,295 --> 00:27:54,694
What DO you say?
560
00:27:54,695 --> 00:27:55,814
What do YOU say?
561
00:27:55,815 --> 00:27:57,654
Miranda?
562
00:27:57,655 --> 00:27:58,854
Er...
563
00:27:58,855 --> 00:28:00,135
OK.
564
00:28:03,535 --> 00:28:04,574
Miranda...
565
00:28:04,575 --> 00:28:06,775
Will you marry me?
566
00:28:08,295 --> 00:28:09,455
You're just saying!
567
00:28:09,456 --> 00:28:11,535
Just say yes!
568
00:28:14,735 --> 00:28:15,774
To who?
569
00:28:15,775 --> 00:28:18,135
It doesn't matter!
570
00:28:19,135 --> 00:28:20,415
Miranda?
571
00:28:41,878 --> 00:28:47,723
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