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1
00:01:51,052 --> 00:01:55,045
Hey, show some respect,
you homeless piece of shit!
2
00:01:59,694 --> 00:02:04,631
Okay, I am going to tell youa story now about how people...
3
00:02:04,699 --> 00:02:09,602
like that sad, pathetic prickback there, found happiness.
4
00:02:09,670 --> 00:02:12,969
But it is not a happy story, okay?
5
00:02:13,041 --> 00:02:18,570
I mean, why do people thinkthat life should always be happy?
6
00:02:18,646 --> 00:02:23,549
Because when I was a little boy,my mother sang me a song.
7
00:02:23,618 --> 00:02:25,552
It went like this.:
8
00:02:25,620 --> 00:02:28,453
Life is short.Life is shit.
9
00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:31,549
And soon it will be over.
10
00:02:31,626 --> 00:02:36,325
But for you, my friends,this story is just beginning.
11
00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:23,005
Some days it's dark
12
00:03:25,913 --> 00:03:28,177
Some days I work
13
00:03:30,618 --> 00:03:32,745
I work alone
14
00:03:34,822 --> 00:03:37,655
I walk alone
15
00:03:41,129 --> 00:03:43,290
Unknown
16
00:03:48,503 --> 00:03:50,334
Sweetness
17
00:03:53,174 --> 00:03:55,165
Oh, my God.
18
00:03:57,778 --> 00:03:59,268
Laughter
19
00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:04,478
Or not
20
00:04:47,695 --> 00:04:49,253
Mr. November.
21
00:05:06,147 --> 00:05:09,139
Mr. December.
22
00:05:21,796 --> 00:05:24,196
Hi, kids.
Where's your father?
23
00:05:24,265 --> 00:05:27,598
He's upstairs masturbating
to gay porn.
24
00:05:27,668 --> 00:05:29,158
- Again?
- Yeah.
25
00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:32,472
- Hey, kids.
- Hey, Dad.
26
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:37,637
I was just taking a shower.
Yep, just had myself a shower.
27
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:39,145
Shower?
28
00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:41,340
Honey, you're home!
29
00:05:43,584 --> 00:05:45,518
Wally, you're hurting me.
30
00:05:45,586 --> 00:05:48,885
I'm just so glad you're home.
31
00:05:49,957 --> 00:05:52,482
Baby, get in the vehicle.
32
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,051
I'm not getting in that vehicle!
33
00:05:55,129 --> 00:05:57,063
Baby, this is my gift to you.
34
00:05:57,131 --> 00:05:59,326
What? Gift?
35
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:02,426
It's not a gift.
You freaking stole this.
36
00:06:02,503 --> 00:06:04,437
I stole it to make it up to you.
37
00:06:04,505 --> 00:06:06,268
Then tell me this.
38
00:06:06,340 --> 00:06:10,367
How can you sleep with my best
friend and then tell me about it?
39
00:06:10,444 --> 00:06:13,880
Sure I told you,
but don't shoot the messenger.
40
00:06:13,948 --> 00:06:16,508
You can say good-bye to this!
41
00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:18,779
No, baby.
You know I need that.
42
00:06:18,853 --> 00:06:22,812
Wave bye-bye, baby.
Never any more Romeo.
43
00:06:22,890 --> 00:06:24,881
How about a farewell one, baby?
44
00:06:24,959 --> 00:06:29,589
I'll see ya in my dreams,
you cheating, lying, backstabbing freak!
45
00:07:05,833 --> 00:07:10,497
I'm sorry,
I don't understand German.
46
00:07:34,528 --> 00:07:37,622
I can't go on.
This is bullshit!
47
00:07:43,537 --> 00:07:47,439
Grivo! Grivo!
48
00:09:07,836 --> 00:09:10,566
I think I just may have something.
49
00:09:15,510 --> 00:09:18,638
Easy, easy, Patient 957.
50
00:09:18,714 --> 00:09:21,080
And open.
51
00:09:21,149 --> 00:09:23,481
What will this do?
52
00:09:24,820 --> 00:09:27,914
Well, what it does is...
53
00:09:27,990 --> 00:09:30,254
reaches into your brain,
chemically...
54
00:09:30,325 --> 00:09:34,819
and locates your happiest memory,
chemically.
55
00:09:34,896 --> 00:09:39,162
Then locks on to that emotion
and freezes it, chemically...
56
00:09:39,234 --> 00:09:42,067
and then it keeps your happy happy.
57
00:09:43,005 --> 00:09:46,441
Chris? She's depressed,
not stupid.
58
00:09:48,343 --> 00:09:51,176
Come on, just take it.
59
00:09:51,246 --> 00:09:53,180
All right.
60
00:10:21,710 --> 00:10:23,143
Coming!
61
00:10:25,947 --> 00:10:28,848
- Merry Christmas. Kiss Grandma.
- Presents!
62
00:10:28,917 --> 00:10:31,283
That's all right.
63
00:10:31,353 --> 00:10:34,516
Sorry we were a few hours late.
The kids hate old people.
64
00:10:34,589 --> 00:10:37,285
That's all right as long
as we're all together now.
65
00:10:37,359 --> 00:10:41,227
- Good point. How's your health?
- Good.Just some sciatica.
66
00:10:41,296 --> 00:10:44,390
These action heroes
are from last year, dummy!
67
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:48,233
I hear Dad's dead.
Is that eggnog?
68
00:10:48,303 --> 00:10:52,000
Yeah. Have yourself a glass.
I gotta check on the bird.
69
00:10:52,074 --> 00:10:54,304
I thought we'd have yams this year.
70
00:10:54,376 --> 00:10:58,142
I got a Butterball.
Last year's was so dry.
71
00:10:58,213 --> 00:11:00,147
They're the best--
72
00:11:00,215 --> 00:11:03,616
Gotta go.
Come on, kids, in the car.
73
00:11:05,587 --> 00:11:09,023
Sorry, Mom, we gotta go.
Hey, you got that gift for my mom?
74
00:11:09,091 --> 00:11:12,219
Oh, yeah. Merry Christmas,
Mother Hurdicure.
75
00:11:12,294 --> 00:11:15,058
- Thanks. I wonder what that is.
- It's a harmonica.
76
00:11:15,130 --> 00:11:17,621
Well, see ya next year.
77
00:11:17,699 --> 00:11:20,998
Oh, that was lovely.
78
00:11:26,274 --> 00:11:28,208
Look, she's smiling.
79
00:11:28,276 --> 00:11:31,404
- She is.
- Oh, my.
80
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:35,712
Calm down.Just calm down.
81
00:11:35,784 --> 00:11:37,479
Calm down!
82
00:11:38,754 --> 00:11:40,779
How do you feel, Patient 957?
83
00:11:44,860 --> 00:11:49,854
Like a fresh towel drying
on the line on a summer's day.
84
00:11:49,931 --> 00:11:53,697
Oh, I feel like a little worm...
85
00:11:53,769 --> 00:11:56,966
peeking its head out of the ground
after a rainstorm...
86
00:11:57,038 --> 00:11:58,972
and seeing no robin.
87
00:12:03,378 --> 00:12:06,438
I feel like God's rubbing
my tummy!
88
00:12:06,515 --> 00:12:11,680
I haven't felt this happy since
my son came to visit at Christmas.
89
00:12:13,789 --> 00:12:16,485
- This could be it.
- It's a strong ""maybe.''
90
00:12:16,558 --> 00:12:18,287
It could be it.
91
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:20,294
Jesus Christ!
92
00:12:20,362 --> 00:12:22,762
I think we got it! Yeah!
93
00:12:23,832 --> 00:12:26,596
And who are you?
94
00:12:26,668 --> 00:12:28,363
Just a guy.
95
00:12:52,227 --> 00:12:54,559
We're commencing final approach.
96
00:12:56,498 --> 00:12:58,728
Any clue as to his mood today?
97
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:01,860
I'm sorry, I can't get a senseof his mood.
98
00:13:01,937 --> 00:13:03,734
Sock color?
99
00:13:03,805 --> 00:13:05,432
Red socks.
100
00:13:06,942 --> 00:13:09,410
Red socks! Red socks!
101
00:13:12,047 --> 00:13:13,480
Red socks!
102
00:13:21,623 --> 00:13:23,386
Let's keep going.
103
00:13:23,458 --> 00:13:25,153
Let's work together.
104
00:13:34,936 --> 00:13:36,733
Good morning, Don.
105
00:14:09,070 --> 00:14:10,628
Good morning, Don.
106
00:14:10,705 --> 00:14:13,731
Didn't we say good morning
yesterday, Marv?
107
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:20,814
Yeah, I guess we did, Don.
108
00:14:22,550 --> 00:14:24,609
Don, how did the
board of directors' meeting go?
109
00:14:32,827 --> 00:14:35,523
Can I have the room for a minute?
110
00:14:35,597 --> 00:14:37,189
Everybody out!
111
00:14:53,548 --> 00:14:55,641
My empire is...
112
00:14:55,717 --> 00:14:57,412
crumbling!
113
00:15:01,423 --> 00:15:03,983
Right. Everyone back in.
114
00:15:18,106 --> 00:15:21,507
To answer your question, Natalie...
115
00:15:21,576 --> 00:15:24,409
the board of directors
was a little concerned...
116
00:15:24,479 --> 00:15:27,676
that we didn't have a ""Back to
School'' drug or ""Christmas'' drug.
117
00:15:27,749 --> 00:15:30,183
We didn't have an
""International Women's Day'' drug.
118
00:15:30,251 --> 00:15:31,775
Exactly.
119
00:15:31,853 --> 00:15:36,847
I tried to remind them
that when I invented Stummies...
120
00:15:36,925 --> 00:15:39,052
Yes, Don, thank God that you did.
121
00:15:39,127 --> 00:15:41,391
it took both time and effort.
122
00:15:41,463 --> 00:15:45,365
But unfortunately,
the board takes a narrow view.
123
00:15:45,433 --> 00:15:49,392
And in their own narrow way, they
think the company is losing money.
124
00:15:49,471 --> 00:15:52,406
Which in fact we are,
but I think this is the narrow view.
125
00:15:52,474 --> 00:15:56,774
Damn them, Don!
What the hell do they know?
126
00:15:56,845 --> 00:16:01,248
They're insisting we cut
our research outlay by 60%.
127
00:16:03,218 --> 00:16:05,550
Of course I told them
to fuck off.
128
00:16:05,620 --> 00:16:08,612
Good for you, Don!
129
00:16:08,690 --> 00:16:12,421
But out loud I said I'd consider it.
130
00:16:12,494 --> 00:16:15,258
Exactly the right thing to do--
play with them.
131
00:16:15,330 --> 00:16:17,127
Where are we with that?
132
00:16:18,099 --> 00:16:19,532
With what, Don?
133
00:16:19,601 --> 00:16:21,694
Our restructuring plan.
134
00:16:21,770 --> 00:16:24,000
The thing you just mentioned
just now?
135
00:16:24,072 --> 00:16:25,505
Yeah.
136
00:16:25,573 --> 00:16:27,939
We're on top of that.
137
00:16:28,977 --> 00:16:30,410
Good.
138
00:16:31,579 --> 00:16:33,534
Are we ever gonna get
the big table in here...
139
00:16:33,668 --> 00:16:37,069
or do I have to cut
that fucking tree myself?
140
00:16:37,138 --> 00:16:41,074
I'll get right on that.
Okay, number one.
141
00:16:42,744 --> 00:16:44,177
Open.
142
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:56,580
No. It's been two weeks,
and I don't feel any different.
143
00:16:56,657 --> 00:16:58,989
All I've done is gain eight pounds.
Now, what's in this?
144
00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:02,052
A little of this
and a little of that. Open.
145
00:17:02,130 --> 00:17:05,588
It's sugar, isn't it?
I'm in the placebo group.
146
00:17:05,666 --> 00:17:09,067
Well, loose lips sink ships.
Open.
147
00:17:09,137 --> 00:17:12,834
No! My face tells me it's sugar.
148
00:17:15,176 --> 00:17:17,110
Thank you.
149
00:17:17,178 --> 00:17:20,147
You're not allowedto do that to me.
150
00:17:36,731 --> 00:17:39,131
Doctor! Alice!
151
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:42,601
Just a second, I'm ready--
152
00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:44,638
Oh, yeah!
153
00:17:44,705 --> 00:17:47,230
- How are you feeling, 957?
- Pardon?
154
00:17:47,308 --> 00:17:49,299
How are you feeling,
Mrs. Hurdicure?
155
00:17:49,377 --> 00:17:52,869
Excellent.Just a little dizzy.
156
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:57,179
You're not suffering from any
mood swings or bouts of depression?
157
00:17:57,251 --> 00:18:01,051
Oh, no mood swings.But I'm a little dizzy.
158
00:18:02,056 --> 00:18:03,990
And how's your appetite?
159
00:18:04,058 --> 00:18:07,824
Excellent,though I am a little dizzy.
160
00:18:07,895 --> 00:18:09,954
- Thank you.
- Okay.
161
00:18:14,068 --> 00:18:16,468
Here we go again.
162
00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:19,503
This urine is great!
163
00:18:19,574 --> 00:18:22,737
The liver function test came back
completely clean, totally clean.
164
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:25,677
I told you!
The goddamn drug works.
165
00:18:25,746 --> 00:18:28,544
Yes, I know the early results
have been...
166
00:18:28,616 --> 00:18:32,746
oh, favorable,
I guess is the word.
167
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,412
- What?
- Come on!
168
00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:37,219
Slow down. Remember we got
lots more testing to do.
169
00:18:37,291 --> 00:18:39,623
Guys, maybe Chris is right.
170
00:18:41,596 --> 00:18:43,029
Dr. Cooper?
171
00:18:43,097 --> 00:18:45,065
Dr. Chris Cooper?
172
00:18:45,133 --> 00:18:46,600
Yes, sir?
173
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:49,693
Could you spare five minutes,
please?
174
00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:59,540
We're just gonna step upstairs
for a moment, okay, Chris?
175
00:18:59,614 --> 00:19:03,106
The vultures are flying in today.
176
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:05,379
There's a lot of shit going down.
177
00:19:05,453 --> 00:19:08,911
It's carnage.
They're cuttin' all the fat.
178
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,897
- I heard Don's been shot.
- Don's been shot?
179
00:19:22,970 --> 00:19:25,336
I heard we've been bought out
by the Japanese.
180
00:19:25,406 --> 00:19:28,239
Hey, I just heard
that the Japanese have been shot!
181
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:35,249
I don't wanna go!
Let me keep my monkeys!
182
00:19:35,316 --> 00:19:40,777
I don't care what happens to me,
but please let me keep my monkeys.
183
00:19:44,192 --> 00:19:45,750
What's going on?
184
00:19:45,826 --> 00:19:47,885
Nothing's going on.
185
00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:53,693
This is just an informal chat.
186
00:19:53,768 --> 00:19:56,293
We were wondering what
you were working on in your lab.
187
00:19:56,370 --> 00:19:58,930
I've invented a pill...
188
00:19:59,006 --> 00:20:02,339
that gives worms to ex-girlfriends.
189
00:20:03,811 --> 00:20:06,507
Right, and what's positive
about that?
190
00:20:06,581 --> 00:20:11,848
It's a pill that gives worms
to ex-girlfriends.
191
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:15,912
Could it also give worms
to ex-boyfriends?
192
00:20:15,990 --> 00:20:18,823
This is a drug for the world...
193
00:20:18,893 --> 00:20:22,158
to give worms to ex-girlfriends!
194
00:20:23,631 --> 00:20:26,794
Well, great.
Thanks for stopping by.
195
00:20:29,904 --> 00:20:32,202
You just don't get it here!
196
00:20:45,086 --> 00:20:49,546
I've been working on a thing.
It's sort of like Stummies.
197
00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:53,287
Go on.
I like what I hear so far.
198
00:20:53,361 --> 00:20:55,693
It's exactly like Stummies.
199
00:20:55,763 --> 00:20:57,697
And the twist is?
200
00:20:57,765 --> 00:20:59,699
It's a much bigger pill.
201
00:20:59,767 --> 00:21:03,168
I like a lot.
Is it ready for production?
202
00:21:03,237 --> 00:21:05,000
Yes, it's ready to go.
203
00:21:05,072 --> 00:21:06,733
Any side effects.
204
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:09,105
Yes, sir, a few side effects.
205
00:21:09,176 --> 00:21:13,704
That's okay. As long as there
are no ""flipper babies,'' right, Don?
206
00:21:18,886 --> 00:21:23,050
Well, there have been
a few flipper babies.
207
00:21:27,895 --> 00:21:32,662
It was only a couple
of flipper babies!
208
00:21:35,670 --> 00:21:37,297
I'm starting to--
209
00:21:37,371 --> 00:21:40,340
It'd be better if you didn't.
210
00:21:56,957 --> 00:22:00,723
Dr. Cooper, please have a seat.
211
00:22:10,504 --> 00:22:13,632
This is just an informal chat.
212
00:22:13,708 --> 00:22:16,268
Would you like a Stummies?
There's some in front of you.
213
00:22:16,344 --> 00:22:18,403
Thank you very much.
214
00:22:22,450 --> 00:22:26,045
So, how's your family?
215
00:22:27,355 --> 00:22:30,552
I don't really have a family per se.
216
00:22:32,226 --> 00:22:35,320
So what are you working on?
217
00:22:35,396 --> 00:22:40,163
Well, as you know, I am working
on a drug that will cure depression.
218
00:22:43,337 --> 00:22:45,168
Go on.
219
00:22:45,239 --> 00:22:48,470
I really don't have
my notes with me.
220
00:22:50,678 --> 00:22:54,045
Apparently I do have
my notes with me.
221
00:22:54,115 --> 00:22:57,846
The results have been
very positive.
222
00:22:57,918 --> 00:22:59,613
Is it ready?
223
00:22:59,687 --> 00:23:03,282
Oh, um, well--
224
00:23:04,225 --> 00:23:06,750
If it's not ready--
225
00:23:06,827 --> 00:23:08,818
It's not that
it isn't ready, sir.
226
00:23:08,896 --> 00:23:11,660
It's that we have
so much more testing to do.
227
00:23:11,732 --> 00:23:13,165
Dr. Cooper...
228
00:23:13,234 --> 00:23:16,169
is it ready or not?
229
00:23:34,221 --> 00:23:37,190
I got great news!
They're going ahead with the drug!
230
00:23:37,258 --> 00:23:38,919
What?
231
00:23:38,993 --> 00:23:42,224
There are things I have to do.
Lots of things to do.
232
00:23:42,296 --> 00:23:44,526
But you said there was
more testing to do.
233
00:23:44,598 --> 00:23:47,658
Well, people say things.
234
00:23:47,735 --> 00:23:50,329
Hmm, fascinating!
235
00:23:51,205 --> 00:23:55,628
Isn't it early in the research phase
to be releasing a new drug?
236
00:23:57,197 --> 00:24:02,032
Simon, we can't be too
""by the bookie'' about this testing.
237
00:24:02,102 --> 00:24:03,399
That's better.
238
00:24:03,470 --> 00:24:07,372
Besides, Baxter here said the drug
worked, and we all trust Baxter.
239
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,374
- Don't we?
- It's just that--
240
00:24:09,442 --> 00:24:13,674
Alice, are you saying
you don't trust Baxter?
241
00:24:13,746 --> 00:24:15,236
No, I--
242
00:24:16,549 --> 00:24:18,676
- What gives?
- Yeah.
243
00:24:18,751 --> 00:24:21,242
They were gonna close our lab
if we didn't have a drug.
244
00:24:25,125 --> 00:24:29,391
Come on! We might be releasing the
most effective antidepressant ever!
245
00:24:29,462 --> 00:24:30,929
It is a good drug.
246
00:24:30,997 --> 00:24:32,430
Yeah, but--
247
00:24:32,499 --> 00:24:33,591
Yeah!
248
00:24:33,666 --> 00:24:36,567
Come on, let's celebrate!
249
00:24:42,609 --> 00:24:45,009
Who wants another drink?
Chris?
250
00:24:45,078 --> 00:24:49,913
Another drink?
Alice, you're in? Another one?
251
00:24:49,983 --> 00:24:52,076
Baxter? One more.
252
00:24:52,152 --> 00:24:54,382
Chris? Okay.
253
00:24:54,454 --> 00:24:57,514
Wait. Chris, another?
254
00:24:57,590 --> 00:25:00,423
Good. Chris, you're in?
255
00:25:00,493 --> 00:25:02,358
Come on, Alice?
256
00:25:02,428 --> 00:25:04,157
Another drink, right?
257
00:25:04,230 --> 00:25:06,630
- You're not sure?
- Come on.
258
00:25:06,699 --> 00:25:09,463
All right, Alice is having one.
And, Chris?
259
00:25:09,536 --> 00:25:11,936
You're having a drink.
All right.
260
00:25:15,375 --> 00:25:17,639
All right, hang on.
Baxter?
261
00:25:24,584 --> 00:25:26,609
Hey, look!
262
00:25:26,686 --> 00:25:32,090
I am an elephant rider.
Do you like that?
263
00:25:36,029 --> 00:25:38,623
My father suffered from depression.
264
00:25:41,067 --> 00:25:44,594
Chris, I never knew that.
265
00:25:45,672 --> 00:25:47,264
Yep!
266
00:25:59,485 --> 00:26:00,918
Hello, son.
267
00:26:03,089 --> 00:26:05,819
Did you clean the house
while your old man was at work?
268
00:26:05,892 --> 00:26:07,757
Yep!
269
00:26:07,827 --> 00:26:09,419
Good, good.
270
00:26:09,495 --> 00:26:11,963
Did you clean under the fridge?
271
00:26:16,135 --> 00:26:20,765
What about the gun? Did you
give the gun a good cleaning?
272
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,741
- Yep!
- Good boy.
273
00:26:54,907 --> 00:26:57,398
Holy Mother, my foot!
274
00:27:00,380 --> 00:27:02,314
My other foot!
275
00:27:02,382 --> 00:27:07,012
Two hours later,
he hit a vital organ and died.
276
00:27:08,721 --> 00:27:11,713
I never knew that, Chris.
277
00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:16,555
No! This is wrong.
278
00:27:16,629 --> 00:27:18,756
We're scientists.
279
00:27:27,907 --> 00:27:30,102
Excuse me. The bill.
280
00:27:51,397 --> 00:27:53,558
Could you spare five minutes?
281
00:28:04,977 --> 00:28:08,003
Respectfully, shut the fuck up.
282
00:28:14,654 --> 00:28:16,781
You're not a plate of croissants.
283
00:28:19,192 --> 00:28:20,784
No, I'm not.
284
00:28:20,860 --> 00:28:24,318
Then can you get me something to eat
before I chew my fuckin' hand off?
285
00:28:27,300 --> 00:28:32,135
No, no, this is Dr. Chris Cooper.
He's the inventor of the drug.
286
00:28:32,205 --> 00:28:34,605
Thank you for inventing
a marvelous drug.
287
00:28:35,475 --> 00:28:38,205
This is Cisco.
He's head of marketing.
288
00:28:38,277 --> 00:28:40,336
We were having
a little jam session...
289
00:28:40,413 --> 00:28:43,940
and we wondered what
your thoughts were on orange.
290
00:28:47,987 --> 00:28:49,284
For what?
291
00:28:49,355 --> 00:28:51,823
The color of the drug.
Duh!
292
00:28:55,828 --> 00:28:59,924
Well, the actual color of the drug
in its nonsynthesized state...
293
00:28:59,999 --> 00:29:02,194
is kind of a bluish hue.
294
00:29:02,268 --> 00:29:05,704
Great. So orange it is then?
295
00:29:05,772 --> 00:29:07,831
Yeah? Okay.
Yeah, I think that's good.
296
00:29:10,610 --> 00:29:12,544
Could we get back to work?
297
00:29:22,522 --> 00:29:25,116
It's all happening so fast.
298
00:29:25,191 --> 00:29:28,160
Okay, I won't call for a week.
299
00:29:28,227 --> 00:29:29,489
What?
300
00:29:29,562 --> 00:29:31,189
I understand.
301
00:29:31,264 --> 00:29:34,062
Oh, good.
302
00:29:40,807 --> 00:29:42,741
Is something wrong?
303
00:29:47,947 --> 00:29:50,177
Oh, God, are you all right?
304
00:29:50,249 --> 00:29:54,310
I'm fine. I'm fine.
I needed the exercise.
305
00:29:55,621 --> 00:30:00,320
Dr. Cooper.
Dr. Chris Cooper.
306
00:30:00,393 --> 00:30:03,829
I was actually coming to see you.
Do you remember me?
307
00:30:05,798 --> 00:30:08,699
Of course.
You're 957.
308
00:30:08,768 --> 00:30:11,999
Dr. Cooper, because of you
and your marvelous drug...
309
00:30:12,071 --> 00:30:14,972
I'm out of the old folks home
and on my own again.
310
00:30:15,041 --> 00:30:18,704
I'm even working part-time
as a nude art model.
311
00:30:18,778 --> 00:30:24,307
Oh, I haven't felt this good since
they said, ""It's not malignant.''
312
00:30:24,383 --> 00:30:27,716
God bless you
and your important work.
313
00:30:36,295 --> 00:30:38,286
Bluish hue.
314
00:30:44,604 --> 00:30:49,598
Okay, I was driving around
last night in my $62,000 car...
315
00:30:49,675 --> 00:30:53,236
trying to think of a name for
the drug, and suddenly it hit me.
316
00:30:53,312 --> 00:30:54,404
The name?
317
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,448
No, a bird hit my windshield.
318
00:30:57,750 --> 00:31:00,548
When that happened,
I got depressed.
319
00:31:00,620 --> 00:31:03,145
- Not you, Cisco.
- Yeah, even me.
320
00:31:03,222 --> 00:31:05,713
But as soon as I got depressed,
I got ""undepressed''...
321
00:31:05,791 --> 00:31:09,158
'cause as I was cleaning
the gleaming guts off my windshield...
322
00:31:09,228 --> 00:31:12,561
I thought of the name for the drug--
Gleemonex!
323
00:31:15,668 --> 00:31:17,829
The slogan?
324
00:31:19,372 --> 00:31:24,002
Gleemonex makes you feel
like it's 72 degrees in your head...
325
00:31:24,076 --> 00:31:26,135
all the time.
326
00:31:40,426 --> 00:31:42,951
The drug is approved. Next.
327
00:32:28,274 --> 00:32:31,675
I used to live on the street.
328
00:32:31,744 --> 00:32:36,545
Had cardboard bumfrom sleeping on cardboard.
329
00:32:36,616 --> 00:32:39,551
Then Jesus--
330
00:32:39,619 --> 00:32:44,147
I mean Dr. Coopergave me his drug.
331
00:32:44,223 --> 00:32:46,748
Now I'm more productive.
332
00:32:48,127 --> 00:32:51,460
I'm a security guardwith a gun.
333
00:32:59,772 --> 00:33:01,865
Hi! Welcome to
the Nina Bedford Show.
334
00:33:01,941 --> 00:33:05,399
I'm Nina Bedford.
Do you like my new outfit?
335
00:33:09,382 --> 00:33:10,542
Happiness.
336
00:33:10,616 --> 00:33:13,414
Can it be bought
in the form of a pill?
337
00:33:13,486 --> 00:33:16,717
On today's Nina Bedford Show
we're talking to Dr. Chris Cooper...
338
00:33:16,789 --> 00:33:20,190
the inventor of
the new wonder drug Gleemonex.
339
00:33:25,565 --> 00:33:29,524
Dr. Cooper, tell us about
this new happy drug.
340
00:33:29,602 --> 00:33:31,695
How does it make people feel?
341
00:33:31,771 --> 00:33:35,605
Well, Nina, what we like to say
around the lab...
342
00:33:35,675 --> 00:33:38,508
is that it makes people
feel like it's...
343
00:33:44,083 --> 00:33:46,278
7 2 degrees in the headall the time.
344
00:33:46,352 --> 00:33:48,411
We don't say that.
345
00:33:48,488 --> 00:33:50,786
We could start.
346
00:33:50,857 --> 00:33:53,018
Sounds like L.A.
347
00:33:54,961 --> 00:33:56,826
Okay. Questions.
348
00:33:56,896 --> 00:33:58,454
Yes, sir, you.
349
00:33:59,465 --> 00:34:04,562
I want to be a scientist
just like you. What's your advice?
350
00:34:08,207 --> 00:34:10,198
Work hard and stay in school.
351
00:34:11,978 --> 00:34:14,913
Good advice. Anyone else?
Yes, ma'am.
352
00:34:14,981 --> 00:34:16,915
All the way up here.
353
00:34:16,983 --> 00:34:18,951
How big is your house?
354
00:34:19,018 --> 00:34:21,111
Yeah, how big is your house?
355
00:34:21,187 --> 00:34:25,783
Actually I live
in a small apartment.
356
00:34:28,261 --> 00:34:31,560
Next question.
Yes, you, ma'am.
357
00:34:32,698 --> 00:34:35,690
Did anyone ever tell you
that you look like Tom Jones?
358
00:34:35,768 --> 00:34:37,497
We think you do.
359
00:34:39,005 --> 00:34:42,566
Doesn't anyone wanna know
how the drug works chemically?
360
00:34:43,509 --> 00:34:46,137
Stand up and wiggle
your hips for us.
361
00:34:46,212 --> 00:34:48,146
- No, I couldn't.
- Come on!
362
00:34:48,214 --> 00:34:51,513
Ladies, don't you wanna see
him wiggle his hips? I do.
363
00:34:54,754 --> 00:34:56,688
I'm more of a scientist
than a wiggler.
364
00:34:56,756 --> 00:34:58,485
Get up!
365
00:35:10,169 --> 00:35:13,661
He does look like
a young Tom Jones.
366
00:35:20,213 --> 00:35:22,511
When we come back...
367
00:35:22,582 --> 00:35:26,018
we're gonna give Dr. Cooper
a compete makeover.
368
00:35:26,085 --> 00:35:28,110
Chris, wiggle us out!
369
00:35:28,187 --> 00:35:31,486
Soak it up, you ugly sponge.
370
00:35:31,557 --> 00:35:34,287
You go, Dr. Chris!
371
00:35:44,003 --> 00:35:47,803
Did you see that
Nina Bedford Show this morning?
372
00:35:47,873 --> 00:35:50,899
Yeah, that thing
about toast fucking.
373
00:35:52,411 --> 00:35:53,742
Toast fucking?
374
00:35:53,813 --> 00:35:57,510
It's a new thing where you fuck
or get fucked with toast.
375
00:35:57,583 --> 00:36:01,349
The show this morning
was about that new drug.
376
00:36:02,888 --> 00:36:05,118
Must've been a dream I had.
377
00:36:07,193 --> 00:36:09,024
I hope so.
378
00:36:10,196 --> 00:36:12,391
Pitter patter, let's get at her.
379
00:36:12,465 --> 00:36:14,729
Hang on a second.
I gotta drain the snake.
380
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:16,597
Drain the snake.
381
00:36:29,915 --> 00:36:31,439
Lights off, asshole.
382
00:36:31,517 --> 00:36:34,077
Cop! Run!
383
00:36:42,895 --> 00:36:44,522
Freeze!
384
00:36:44,597 --> 00:36:47,259
I'm your nightmare, mister!
Freeze!
385
00:36:52,638 --> 00:36:54,435
Freeze!
386
00:36:57,310 --> 00:36:58,777
I got one.
387
00:36:58,844 --> 00:37:02,473
- Officer-- They stole my wallet.
- Down.
388
00:37:02,548 --> 00:37:06,006
Down on the ground.
Get down on the ground.
389
00:37:06,085 --> 00:37:08,383
We always win.
390
00:37:10,589 --> 00:37:12,921
Would you step out of the car,
please, sir?
391
00:37:14,093 --> 00:37:16,823
It's all a big misunderstanding.
392
00:37:16,896 --> 00:37:19,387
Like a Three's Company episode.
393
00:37:19,465 --> 00:37:22,400
Somebody came in the wrong door
and all hell broke loose.
394
00:37:22,468 --> 00:37:23,901
Doreen!
395
00:37:25,004 --> 00:37:27,564
Oh, Wally.
396
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:29,631
We didn't charge him.
397
00:37:29,709 --> 00:37:32,906
We thought bringing him home
bare naked was punishment enough.
398
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:36,776
Were the handcuffs
totally necessary, Officer?
399
00:37:36,849 --> 00:37:40,376
Actually, that was
your husband's idea.
400
00:37:41,687 --> 00:37:44,554
Thanks for dropping him off.
Good night.
401
00:37:44,623 --> 00:37:49,060
I don't understand how a man can
get up to these park shenanigans...
402
00:37:49,128 --> 00:37:52,154
with a lovely piece of ass
like yourself waiting at home.
403
00:37:54,467 --> 00:37:57,334
Thank you, I guess.
404
00:37:57,403 --> 00:37:58,802
You're welcome.
405
00:37:59,805 --> 00:38:03,138
Honey, I think you've got
a right to know what happened.
406
00:38:03,209 --> 00:38:05,803
- Wally, please don't.
- No, no, no.
407
00:38:05,878 --> 00:38:09,245
I went out driving, because
as you know I love driving...
408
00:38:09,315 --> 00:38:11,840
when suddenly I had to take
the biggest pee in the world.
409
00:38:11,917 --> 00:38:14,147
So I saw this washroom.
410
00:38:14,220 --> 00:38:16,916
I stopped in, but it was full
of those ""types.''
411
00:38:16,989 --> 00:38:20,322
You know, queers and queens.
412
00:38:20,393 --> 00:38:22,884
So one of them tried to kiss me...
413
00:38:22,962 --> 00:38:26,728
and I said, ""No! No, no.''
414
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:31,133
But he just kept kissing me.
Why would he do that?
415
00:38:32,638 --> 00:38:35,766
Well, didn't you tell me
that you had...
416
00:38:35,841 --> 00:38:38,605
gripped him by the buttocks
and pulled him closer?
417
00:38:38,677 --> 00:38:42,613
Yes, but that was 'cause
I was concerned that he might fall.
418
00:38:42,681 --> 00:38:47,015
Doctor, his pants were down
around his goddamn ankles.
419
00:38:52,191 --> 00:38:55,058
Doctor, why do those--
you know--
420
00:38:55,127 --> 00:38:58,358
those ""types'' keep thinking
that I'm one of them?
421
00:38:59,465 --> 00:39:03,458
Because you are one of them.
422
00:39:04,336 --> 00:39:06,702
You are gay.
423
00:39:06,772 --> 00:39:10,503
You are gay. You are a homosexual.
The opposite of straight.
424
00:39:10,576 --> 00:39:14,400
You're gay. I know it, your family
knows it. Dogs know it!
425
00:39:14,534 --> 00:39:16,934
Everyone seems to know it
except you!
426
00:39:17,003 --> 00:39:19,062
Why am I not aware of it?
427
00:39:19,138 --> 00:39:21,163
It's called denial.
428
00:39:23,476 --> 00:39:26,343
Look, Doctor, are you
just gonna sit there...
429
00:39:26,412 --> 00:39:30,439
and spew psychiatric
mumbo jumbo at me all day?
430
00:39:35,521 --> 00:39:39,013
No, I'm just gonna write you
a prescription...
431
00:39:39,092 --> 00:39:41,151
for the drug.
432
00:39:41,227 --> 00:39:42,660
The drug?
433
00:39:42,729 --> 00:39:45,289
Yes. Gleemonex. It's new.
434
00:39:45,365 --> 00:39:49,199
I don't normally like to do this,
but you're a special case.
435
00:39:50,169 --> 00:39:52,729
Will I still be in denial?
436
00:39:52,805 --> 00:39:58,175
No, it's to be hoped
that you'll just be gay.
437
00:40:00,546 --> 00:40:02,480
- Casey's on it.
- Futura's on it.
438
00:40:02,548 --> 00:40:04,413
- Robbie's on it.
- Seven's on it.
439
00:40:04,484 --> 00:40:06,418
-Josh is on it.
- Sky is on it.
440
00:40:06,486 --> 00:40:08,681
Of course Sky is on it.
Sky's on everything.
441
00:40:08,755 --> 00:40:11,019
- Yeah, including you.
- Once!
442
00:40:11,090 --> 00:40:12,648
Yeah, well?
443
00:40:13,459 --> 00:40:16,860
It's made from monkey come,
you know.
444
00:40:18,431 --> 00:40:19,864
Pardon me?
445
00:40:19,933 --> 00:40:24,495
The drug.
It's made from monkey come.
446
00:40:24,570 --> 00:40:29,030
They keep these monkeys
locked in a room all day.
447
00:40:29,108 --> 00:40:31,338
Then they make them jack off.
448
00:40:31,411 --> 00:40:36,849
Then they take the come and boil it.
That's what the drug is made of.
449
00:40:36,916 --> 00:40:39,248
Ah! They make them jack off?
450
00:40:39,319 --> 00:40:43,688
Oh, yeah, they show them
this animal pornography.
451
00:40:43,756 --> 00:40:48,716
Really kinky stuff like two dogs
making love with a cat...
452
00:40:48,795 --> 00:40:50,922
or a bat and a pig.
453
00:40:50,997 --> 00:40:52,555
That's bullshit!
454
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:56,693
You two, out of my cab!
455
00:40:56,769 --> 00:40:59,033
I don't like that kind of language.
456
00:40:59,105 --> 00:41:02,768
- You're obviously not on it.
- Move it out of here!
457
00:41:02,842 --> 00:41:05,174
You're not getting dollar one,
you ugly man!
458
00:41:05,244 --> 00:41:08,475
I don't give a crap,
you stupid slinky whore!
459
00:41:14,420 --> 00:41:18,117
-Is he coming out?
-I hear he's too depressed to go on.
460
00:41:18,191 --> 00:41:20,489
It's gonna be amazing, eh?
461
00:41:50,256 --> 00:41:52,247
Hold it!
462
00:41:52,325 --> 00:41:54,452
I wanna talk about drugs.
463
00:41:54,527 --> 00:41:56,290
Heroin!
464
00:41:56,362 --> 00:41:58,091
No, not heroin.
465
00:41:58,164 --> 00:41:59,927
Speed!
466
00:41:59,999 --> 00:42:02,092
No, not speed.
467
00:42:02,168 --> 00:42:03,533
Hashish!
468
00:42:03,603 --> 00:42:06,697
No, not even hashish.
469
00:42:08,241 --> 00:42:10,436
Horse tranquilizers?
470
00:42:11,544 --> 00:42:14,069
Not horse tranquilizers.
471
00:42:14,147 --> 00:42:17,583
I just heard about this new drug
that makes you happy.
472
00:42:18,651 --> 00:42:20,312
I just wanna say--
473
00:42:27,927 --> 00:42:29,656
Fuck happy!
474
00:42:51,417 --> 00:42:52,679
Well, Marv...
475
00:42:52,752 --> 00:42:54,743
are they in?
476
00:43:01,894 --> 00:43:05,261
Yes, Don, the grosses are in.
477
00:43:07,066 --> 00:43:08,966
Well?
478
00:43:09,035 --> 00:43:11,094
I think it's important
to remember...
479
00:43:11,170 --> 00:43:14,003
these things are never as bad
as they may seem at first.
480
00:43:14,073 --> 00:43:18,840
The data can be interpreted
in many ways. Bear that in mind.
481
00:43:18,911 --> 00:43:23,007
There are a lot of ways
of interpreting the data.
482
00:43:29,622 --> 00:43:31,590
You son of a bitch.
We're number one.
483
00:43:33,860 --> 00:43:35,293
I got you!
484
00:43:36,295 --> 00:43:38,695
You son of a bitch!
We beat penicillin!
485
00:43:38,764 --> 00:43:42,393
We kicked penicillin's sorry ass!
486
00:43:43,936 --> 00:43:46,734
Could I have the room for a second,
you son of a bitch?
487
00:43:46,806 --> 00:43:49,297
Yes, Don, I understand.
488
00:43:55,815 --> 00:43:59,012
We beat penicillin!
489
00:44:14,934 --> 00:44:16,697
Mr. November.
490
00:44:16,769 --> 00:44:19,670
He's hot.
491
00:44:34,053 --> 00:44:36,146
Mr. December.
492
00:44:36,222 --> 00:44:39,214
He likes it hot.
493
00:44:46,899 --> 00:44:51,131
You are scum!
Do you hear me, soldier?
494
00:44:51,204 --> 00:44:52,694
Yes, sir!
495
00:44:52,772 --> 00:44:54,706
Do you know what we
are going to do today?
496
00:44:54,774 --> 00:44:55,866
No, sir!
497
00:44:55,942 --> 00:44:59,173
We are going
to be doing push-ups all day!
498
00:44:59,245 --> 00:45:01,941
You and me, all day!
499
00:45:03,282 --> 00:45:06,274
-Do you think that's funny, soldier?
-No, sir!
500
00:45:06,352 --> 00:45:10,846
You will be doing those push-ups
with me lying on your back!
501
00:45:10,923 --> 00:45:15,883
You are going to discover muscles
you never knew you had!
502
00:45:15,962 --> 00:45:18,658
Big muscles!
503
00:45:18,731 --> 00:45:20,961
Hard muscles!
504
00:45:21,033 --> 00:45:23,263
Oh, yes, sir!
505
00:45:31,410 --> 00:45:32,570
Guess what?
506
00:45:33,779 --> 00:45:35,041
I'm gay!
507
00:45:46,559 --> 00:45:48,527
I'm gay!
508
00:45:48,594 --> 00:45:50,027
He's gay!
509
00:46:15,021 --> 00:46:17,421
Did you hear the newsHe's gay
510
00:46:17,490 --> 00:46:21,085
I was straight and now I'm gayI think the drug made me that way
511
00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:24,186
He's gay, he's gay, he's gay
512
00:46:30,169 --> 00:46:36,005
I'm gay
513
00:46:45,451 --> 00:46:47,385
Who cares?
514
00:46:57,574 --> 00:47:01,169
These are fakes.
Get outta here!
515
00:47:01,244 --> 00:47:02,802
Scram!
516
00:47:05,682 --> 00:47:07,616
Thank you.
Have a good evening.
517
00:47:10,186 --> 00:47:13,519
I think that's him,
the inventor of the drug.
518
00:47:18,595 --> 00:47:21,621
My God, Mr. Roritor's house
is amazing.
519
00:47:25,268 --> 00:47:27,236
When I was a little girl,
I used to--
520
00:47:27,303 --> 00:47:31,296
Chris, can I see you?
It'll just take five minutes. Great.
521
00:47:31,374 --> 00:47:33,638
They're talking about us.
522
00:47:35,879 --> 00:47:39,178
- Someone would like to meet you.
- Oh, really?
523
00:47:41,785 --> 00:47:44,618
Hi, Doctor.
I'm ""Cancer Boy.''
524
00:47:46,089 --> 00:47:48,023
What would you like to say
to the doctor?
525
00:47:49,025 --> 00:47:52,324
I'd like to thank you
for your marvelous drug.
526
00:47:52,395 --> 00:47:55,125
Are you on it, Cancer Boy?
527
00:47:55,198 --> 00:48:00,431
No, there is no hope for me.
But my parents are on it.
528
00:48:02,072 --> 00:48:05,235
They were so very low,
not just because of me...
529
00:48:05,308 --> 00:48:09,836
but because my brother was born
with his heart outside of his body.
530
00:48:11,848 --> 00:48:14,009
- Is that a fact?
- Yeah.
531
00:48:15,452 --> 00:48:17,443
Nice to make your acquaintance.
532
00:48:19,389 --> 00:48:20,822
Sorry, sorry.
533
00:48:20,890 --> 00:48:23,723
That's okay.
My marrow is just low.
534
00:48:27,030 --> 00:48:31,194
Chris, you've been ignoring Don.
You really should speak with him.
535
00:48:36,573 --> 00:48:39,098
Each day's a gift.
536
00:48:39,175 --> 00:48:41,905
Did you see?
537
00:48:41,978 --> 00:48:43,969
The doctor and me, did you see?
538
00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:58,484
Hi, Chris. Come in.
539
00:48:58,561 --> 00:49:00,153
I'm almost done.
540
00:49:01,331 --> 00:49:03,026
Thank you, Marv.
541
00:49:05,268 --> 00:49:07,736
Could you do it harder?
542
00:49:08,872 --> 00:49:10,430
Little softer.
543
00:49:10,507 --> 00:49:12,532
Right, in circles.
544
00:49:12,609 --> 00:49:15,100
Less in circles.
545
00:49:18,615 --> 00:49:20,810
But more in circles.
546
00:49:20,884 --> 00:49:22,681
Right.
547
00:49:27,257 --> 00:49:29,885
Great. Done.
Head scratch, Chris?
548
00:49:29,959 --> 00:49:31,392
No, thank you, Don.
549
00:49:31,461 --> 00:49:33,088
You sure?
550
00:49:33,163 --> 00:49:35,097
Thanks. Good job.
551
00:49:36,065 --> 00:49:37,999
Can I get you anything else?
552
00:49:38,067 --> 00:49:41,298
Grappa, wine, cappuccino,
tickets to a Lakers game?
553
00:49:41,371 --> 00:49:43,965
- No, thanks.
- Are you sure?
554
00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:46,065
What about cheesecake?
555
00:49:46,142 --> 00:49:48,201
Double-A batteries?
556
00:49:48,278 --> 00:49:50,212
Land in Montana?
557
00:49:52,015 --> 00:49:53,107
No, thank you.
558
00:49:57,487 --> 00:50:01,548
I offer you these, but they'll be
yours anyway. Do you understand?
559
00:50:04,561 --> 00:50:07,325
- Did Marv talk to you?
- Yes, he did.
560
00:50:07,397 --> 00:50:08,989
Good. So you know.
561
00:50:10,633 --> 00:50:12,567
Know what?
562
00:50:12,635 --> 00:50:15,661
That we're applying for your drug
to be nonprescription.
563
00:50:18,074 --> 00:50:22,067
But my drug is for
the clinically depressed.
564
00:50:22,946 --> 00:50:24,914
Chris, you've invented...
565
00:50:24,981 --> 00:50:29,042
a marvelous drug, and right now
only certain people can have access.
566
00:50:29,118 --> 00:50:32,212
We think that everyone
should have access to it.
567
00:50:32,288 --> 00:50:36,019
Like ghetto children.
Apparently their lives are horrible.
568
00:50:36,092 --> 00:50:38,959
Did you read that thing
in the Times?
569
00:50:39,028 --> 00:50:42,361
You want ghetto children
to be happy, don't you, Chris?
570
00:50:42,432 --> 00:50:45,128
- Sure, Don, but--
- Of course you do.
571
00:50:45,201 --> 00:50:48,728
There may be some papers to sign,
that's if this thing happens.
572
00:50:48,805 --> 00:50:51,330
But it might not happen.
You know how these things are.
573
00:50:51,407 --> 00:50:53,500
But I really think--
574
00:51:00,283 --> 00:51:02,581
That was supposed to be fixed.
575
00:51:02,652 --> 00:51:04,244
Come on, Chris.
576
00:51:16,399 --> 00:51:19,698
Hang on, I'll introduce
you around. Everyone!
577
00:51:23,906 --> 00:51:28,400
This is Chris Cooper.
He's the inventor of our new drug.
578
00:51:33,850 --> 00:51:35,977
As some of you know...
579
00:51:36,052 --> 00:51:39,351
the drug is going nonprescription,
which is good.
580
00:51:39,422 --> 00:51:40,855
That's it.
581
00:51:44,527 --> 00:51:45,960
What's this?
582
00:51:46,029 --> 00:51:48,020
This is the real party.
583
00:51:59,309 --> 00:52:01,106
Where's Chris?
584
00:52:01,177 --> 00:52:03,270
I don't know.
I haven't seen him in a while.
585
00:52:03,346 --> 00:52:05,280
- He's over here.
- What?
586
00:52:05,348 --> 00:52:07,282
He's on this monitor.
587
00:52:11,187 --> 00:52:13,155
Wow. Who's she?
588
00:52:15,124 --> 00:52:16,557
Cute!
589
00:52:21,130 --> 00:52:24,293
She must be another scientist.
590
00:52:48,358 --> 00:52:53,489
So, Chrissie, does this mutt say,
""Gleemonex for pets''?
591
00:52:54,263 --> 00:52:55,662
Sort of.
592
00:52:55,732 --> 00:52:58,599
You know, I don't even know
if he looks happy...
593
00:52:58,668 --> 00:53:00,898
of if he would even take the drug.
594
00:53:00,970 --> 00:53:03,336
You don't like, Chris?
595
00:53:03,406 --> 00:53:04,873
It's just that--
596
00:53:04,941 --> 00:53:09,241
I have this dog in my head,
and I haven't see it yet.
597
00:53:09,312 --> 00:53:11,109
Right. Right.
598
00:53:12,281 --> 00:53:15,273
I gotta see more dogs.
I gotta have more dogs.
599
00:53:15,351 --> 00:53:19,117
This is a dog disaster.
I gotta see more dogs!
600
00:53:19,188 --> 00:53:20,621
Nat?
601
00:53:21,724 --> 00:53:24,522
- My cup is luke.
- Luke warm, Chris?
602
00:53:24,594 --> 00:53:27,062
No, Luke Skywalker,
you fuckin' inbred!
603
00:53:32,869 --> 00:53:34,302
Tasty.
604
00:53:48,584 --> 00:53:51,052
Grivo! Grivo!
605
00:53:56,526 --> 00:53:58,517
Hold it.
606
00:53:58,594 --> 00:53:59,788
Heroin!
607
00:53:59,862 --> 00:54:01,295
No, not heroin.
608
00:54:01,364 --> 00:54:04,731
I have a new song.
I wrote it in the park.
609
00:54:12,208 --> 00:54:14,142
Happiness and sunbeams
610
00:54:14,210 --> 00:54:16,303
And cute little puppy dogs
611
00:54:16,379 --> 00:54:20,568
These are the thingsthat I've seen with my heart
612
00:54:20,702 --> 00:54:24,604
Life is a happy gameif you don't forget to smile
613
00:54:24,672 --> 00:54:26,196
But every now and thenyour face
614
00:54:26,274 --> 00:54:28,674
Fuck! He's on the drug.
615
00:54:28,743 --> 00:54:30,768
It harbors a frown
616
00:54:30,845 --> 00:54:32,039
You suck!
617
00:54:32,814 --> 00:54:37,012
Sadness is a barnacleclinging to your bright boat
618
00:54:37,085 --> 00:54:41,021
You won't let it sink your spiritsif you'll only learn to float
619
00:54:41,089 --> 00:54:45,082
We are all sea captainssailing on life's rough seas
620
00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:48,596
Come on you MagellansCome with me
621
00:54:48,663 --> 00:54:51,188
I've got pie
622
00:54:51,266 --> 00:54:52,699
Happiness pie
623
00:54:53,568 --> 00:54:57,527
Happy tailors, happy workershappy farmers, happy girls
624
00:54:57,605 --> 00:55:01,701
Happy widowers, happy freelance artistshappy welders, happy world
625
00:55:01,776 --> 00:55:05,735
happy drinkers, happy thinkershappy musicians, happy beauticians
626
00:55:05,814 --> 00:55:11,411
Happy mayors, happy pairshappy call girls, happy hula boys
627
00:55:13,955 --> 00:55:16,981
Happiness pie
628
00:55:17,058 --> 00:55:20,858
Pie
629
00:55:29,871 --> 00:55:32,863
Happiness pie
630
00:55:36,845 --> 00:55:41,714
The winner of the World Video Awardfor best new contemporary song...
631
00:55:41,783 --> 00:55:44,343
Grivo!
632
00:55:48,256 --> 00:55:49,382
Thank you.
633
00:55:49,457 --> 00:55:51,618
I'd like to thank my fan base.
634
00:55:51,693 --> 00:55:53,661
We did it.
635
00:55:53,728 --> 00:55:55,662
Smile. It's free.
636
00:56:06,174 --> 00:56:08,335
He's the inventorof the wonder drug, Gleemonex.
637
00:56:08,409 --> 00:56:10,104
She's a super supermodel!
638
00:56:10,178 --> 00:56:14,308
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcomeClemptor and Dr. Chris Cooper.
639
00:56:21,823 --> 00:56:25,759
Writing a hit songis a real science.
640
00:56:25,827 --> 00:56:28,387
Well, you should know, Chris.
641
00:56:32,734 --> 00:56:34,759
And now, the award...
642
00:56:34,836 --> 00:56:39,535
for the best new rap,hip-hop or folk act--
643
00:56:40,975 --> 00:56:44,741
And the first nomineeis Cancer Boy.
644
00:56:44,812 --> 00:56:46,143
Yummy.
645
00:56:46,214 --> 00:56:49,342
From his new album,
Whistle When You're Low.
646
00:57:08,469 --> 00:57:10,937
Chris! Chris!
647
00:57:35,897 --> 00:57:38,627
Thank you!
648
00:57:38,700 --> 00:57:42,864
I would've killed myself if not for you!
Can I have an autograph?
649
00:57:42,937 --> 00:57:46,395
Sure. Should I sign
along the scar? Put her there!
650
00:57:46,474 --> 00:57:49,739
Chris Cooper signed my scar!
651
00:57:52,480 --> 00:57:54,175
I love you, man.
652
00:57:57,252 --> 00:57:59,720
Something's in my eye!
653
00:58:01,256 --> 00:58:02,883
Fucking bird!
654
00:58:25,947 --> 00:58:28,916
Chris, do you want me to get it?
655
00:58:28,983 --> 00:58:30,746
No, I'm...
656
00:58:32,954 --> 00:58:34,387
favorable.
657
00:58:34,455 --> 00:58:37,083
Would one of you ladies
get the door?
658
00:58:46,334 --> 00:58:48,894
Oh, hello.
659
00:58:48,970 --> 00:58:50,562
What do you want?
660
00:58:50,638 --> 00:58:53,539
Is your uncle here?
661
00:58:53,608 --> 00:58:55,075
Uncle?
662
00:58:59,414 --> 00:59:01,348
Right.
663
00:59:03,051 --> 00:59:05,246
Uncle Chris!
664
00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:09,416
Uncle? What, are we gonna play
another game, 'cause-- Alice!
665
00:59:09,490 --> 00:59:11,822
What are you doing here?
666
00:59:11,893 --> 00:59:14,521
There's something wrong
with little Signund.
667
00:59:14,595 --> 00:59:17,496
Chris, can we order
some chicken wings?
668
00:59:17,565 --> 00:59:18,998
Get a receipt.
669
00:59:19,067 --> 00:59:20,694
What do you mean ""wrong''?
670
00:59:21,769 --> 00:59:24,761
He's in some sort of coma.
671
00:59:24,839 --> 00:59:26,329
Let me see.
672
00:59:27,241 --> 00:59:31,541
I think little Signund's locked
in his happiest memory.
673
00:59:31,612 --> 00:59:33,739
I see a mouse thinking, Alice.
674
00:59:33,815 --> 00:59:37,273
That's it.
We're breaking up.
675
00:59:39,620 --> 00:59:43,556
Alice, you seem a little upset
and pretty deluded.
676
00:59:45,293 --> 00:59:50,094
I just think you should seriously
consider taking my drug.
677
00:59:52,734 --> 00:59:54,167
Women!
678
00:59:55,002 --> 00:59:56,902
Not you two.
679
00:59:56,971 --> 01:00:00,998
I was in love with you.
I could have anyone.
680
01:00:01,075 --> 01:00:03,270
I'm beautiful!
681
01:00:08,850 --> 01:00:10,818
We almost kissed.
682
01:00:18,292 --> 01:00:22,729
When will you girls sign that form
that says last night never happened?
683
01:00:51,793 --> 01:00:53,727
It's all yours, Captain.
684
01:01:42,944 --> 01:01:44,935
Go on, make your move.
685
01:02:11,122 --> 01:02:12,214
957?
686
01:02:12,289 --> 01:02:13,722
Mrs. Hurdicure!
687
01:02:38,215 --> 01:02:40,581
Cat on my head!
688
01:03:12,650 --> 01:03:14,481
Hey, you kids!
689
01:03:14,552 --> 01:03:17,988
Get away from there! Get out
from under that lady's dress!
690
01:03:21,125 --> 01:03:23,787
Mrs. Hurdicure, are you all right?
691
01:03:23,861 --> 01:03:25,328
Are you all right?
692
01:03:29,400 --> 01:03:31,595
- Coming!
- Presents!
693
01:03:31,669 --> 01:03:32,761
Gotta go.
694
01:03:32,837 --> 01:03:35,203
- It's a harmonica.
- That was lovely.
695
01:03:47,351 --> 01:03:48,784
Tea?
696
01:04:04,969 --> 01:04:10,373
Dr. Cooper, is it ready or not?
697
01:04:10,441 --> 01:04:13,899
In my opinion,
the drug is ready.
698
01:04:18,849 --> 01:04:20,441
Don, we're--
699
01:04:24,955 --> 01:04:27,423
Don, could I--
700
01:04:29,460 --> 01:04:32,190
Excuse me a second, Rabbi.
701
01:04:32,263 --> 01:04:34,823
Chris, we're having a family bris.
702
01:04:34,899 --> 01:04:38,130
My nephew's brising. We're about
to bris. Can this not wait?
703
01:04:38,202 --> 01:04:41,694
- We're in trouble.
- What?
704
01:04:41,772 --> 01:04:46,266
When I told you the drug was ready,
I hadn't done enough testing.
705
01:04:46,343 --> 01:04:50,143
Now Mrs. Hurdicure, one
of the first test subjects has...
706
01:04:51,248 --> 01:04:52,909
gone into a coma.
707
01:04:52,983 --> 01:04:55,781
Yeah, Chris,
but wasn't she an old lady?
708
01:04:55,853 --> 01:04:58,720
Old ladies
go into comas every day.
709
01:04:58,789 --> 01:05:00,381
No, it's the drug.
710
01:05:01,458 --> 01:05:04,894
Alice tried to warn me,
but I didn't listen.
711
01:05:04,962 --> 01:05:08,022
But people gotta know.
We gotta go to the media.
712
01:05:08,098 --> 01:05:09,963
The media?
713
01:05:10,034 --> 01:05:14,698
What are you talking-- newspaper,
television, CD-ROM, college radio?
714
01:05:14,772 --> 01:05:17,206
Yes, the whole kit and caboodle.
715
01:05:18,943 --> 01:05:23,175
I think we ought to think about it
before we go to the media.
716
01:05:37,294 --> 01:05:40,286
- We shouldn't go to the media.
- You know, I agree.
717
01:05:40,364 --> 01:05:42,298
But we have to!
718
01:05:46,570 --> 01:05:51,564
Rabbi Johnson,
just gimme a minute, okay?
719
01:05:51,642 --> 01:05:54,008
Chris, let's talk.
720
01:05:58,182 --> 01:06:02,380
You know, the thing
about being upset is that...
721
01:06:02,453 --> 01:06:05,217
besides it sometimes being
a turn-on to women...
722
01:06:05,289 --> 01:06:09,419
it's not a state you wanna be in
when making important decisions...
723
01:06:09,493 --> 01:06:13,293
like going to the press,
wouldn't you agree?
724
01:06:13,364 --> 01:06:16,333
No, I wouldn't.
We gotta get the word out.
725
01:06:16,400 --> 01:06:19,597
Yeah, but you would agree
that Paris is the capital of France?
726
01:06:19,670 --> 01:06:22,104
- Wouldn't you agree to that?
- Yes, but--
727
01:06:22,172 --> 01:06:24,732
Good. Then we're back in agreement.
728
01:06:27,611 --> 01:06:31,308
Your drug is effectively changing
the world for the better.
729
01:06:31,382 --> 01:06:33,373
It's important that you know that.
730
01:06:33,450 --> 01:06:37,409
Have you heard that crack is gone?
Crime is down...
731
01:06:37,488 --> 01:06:39,752
and oddly enough,
so is tourism.
732
01:06:39,823 --> 01:06:43,850
But if I haven't said it before,
good job.
733
01:06:50,034 --> 01:06:52,229
About the comas...
734
01:06:52,303 --> 01:06:56,330
in war they call that sort of thing
""acceptable losses.''
735
01:06:56,407 --> 01:07:00,935
Like 1 944, the Germans are in France
when they should be in Germany...
736
01:07:01,011 --> 01:07:04,344
and it's gonna cost
a pretty penny to get them home.
737
01:07:04,415 --> 01:07:08,408
What we already know about your drug
and what I'm gonna show you...
738
01:07:08,485 --> 01:07:13,513
is that the acceptable losses there
are really at about 5%, if that.
739
01:07:24,401 --> 01:07:29,100
Chris, it might be very easy here
to take the narrow view and say...
740
01:07:29,173 --> 01:07:31,835
""My God, more coma victims,
oh, how terrible.''
741
01:07:31,909 --> 01:07:34,400
Blah, blah, blah.
742
01:07:34,478 --> 01:07:38,437
Chris, I still think
that's the narrow view.
743
01:07:38,515 --> 01:07:42,246
They're stuck
in their happiest memories.
744
01:07:42,920 --> 01:07:47,050
Won't you take me to Funky Town
745
01:07:53,030 --> 01:07:55,021
Funky Town
746
01:07:55,099 --> 01:07:57,067
In a situation like this...
747
01:07:57,134 --> 01:08:00,729
you should rely on my experience.
748
01:08:00,804 --> 01:08:02,465
When I invented Stummies--
749
01:08:02,539 --> 01:08:04,404
Fuck Stummies!
750
01:08:04,475 --> 01:08:06,238
And you too, Don!
751
01:08:06,310 --> 01:08:09,108
You pushed, boy, you pushed!
752
01:08:09,179 --> 01:08:12,774
Dumb Baxter said the drug was great.
I said testing!
753
01:08:12,850 --> 01:08:16,479
And you took away my lab 'cause--
754
01:08:16,553 --> 01:08:20,455
Sure, I lost my virginity,
but who do you think--
755
01:08:20,524 --> 01:08:22,992
You pushed, boy, you pushed!
756
01:08:23,060 --> 01:08:27,895
I gotta return Rear Window
to the video store and now this!
757
01:08:27,965 --> 01:08:32,163
Comas? Acceptable losses? Late fees?
758
01:08:32,236 --> 01:08:35,899
No, I don't think I will
""fuck Stummies.''
759
01:08:35,973 --> 01:08:37,941
Get your finger out of my face.
760
01:08:38,008 --> 01:08:39,942
Don't you touch my finger.
761
01:08:40,010 --> 01:08:42,137
- Get your finger out of my face.
- Don't you touch my finger.
762
01:09:04,935 --> 01:09:08,098
You know, I had such
high hopes for you...
763
01:09:08,172 --> 01:09:11,335
but unfortunately
you just don't get it.
764
01:09:13,610 --> 01:09:15,805
My fucking finger!
765
01:09:52,215 --> 01:09:54,376
What's the matter?
766
01:09:54,450 --> 01:09:56,543
Oh, Wallace?
767
01:09:57,620 --> 01:09:59,417
Wally?
768
01:10:01,658 --> 01:10:05,617
Come on now. Not tonight,
we're wearing our suits.
769
01:10:07,463 --> 01:10:11,263
No secrets here, remember?
No secrets between sailors.
770
01:10:12,835 --> 01:10:16,862
You are scum!
Do you hear me, soldier?
771
01:10:29,952 --> 01:10:31,510
Terzinsky.
772
01:10:32,755 --> 01:10:36,191
- Yes, sir?
- See the two enemies by the wall?
773
01:10:39,495 --> 01:10:41,053
Got 'em.
774
01:10:41,130 --> 01:10:43,394
You're my best man.
Here's the plan.
775
01:10:43,466 --> 01:10:46,230
You go over there and fuck them,
we'll stay here and masturbate.
776
01:10:46,302 --> 01:10:47,530
- Yes, sir!
- Go!
777
01:10:50,573 --> 01:10:52,598
There goes a man!
778
01:11:12,328 --> 01:11:13,420
Chris.
779
01:11:14,464 --> 01:11:17,729
Chris, I thought you saidthe drug was ready.
780
01:11:17,800 --> 01:11:21,793
I'm confused. I thought you saidthe drug was ready.
781
01:11:21,871 --> 01:11:25,432
Chris, you said the drug was ready.
782
01:11:27,910 --> 01:11:32,074
Oh, Dr. Cooper, thank youfor your marvelous coma!
783
01:11:32,148 --> 01:11:34,082
Coma! Coma!
784
01:11:43,760 --> 01:11:45,853
Don't go to the media.
785
01:11:45,928 --> 01:11:47,862
I gotta go to the media!
786
01:11:54,570 --> 01:11:57,664
I'd like to thank the members
of the media who did make it.
787
01:11:57,740 --> 01:11:59,173
College radio...
788
01:12:01,210 --> 01:12:03,474
Weapons and Helmets magazine...
789
01:12:05,281 --> 01:12:06,805
of course Girl Beat.
790
01:12:09,852 --> 01:12:11,979
Thank you all for coming.
791
01:12:12,054 --> 01:12:14,648
Who needs the networks anyway?
792
01:12:17,293 --> 01:12:20,319
Okay then, follow me.
793
01:12:22,465 --> 01:12:25,696
I'm gonna take you to where
Roritor hides its terrible secret.
794
01:12:25,768 --> 01:12:28,737
A secret that
I'm responsible for.
795
01:12:28,805 --> 01:12:32,571
I accept my part in this
and ask you to brace yourselves...
796
01:12:32,642 --> 01:12:36,169
as you bear witness to Roritor's...
797
01:12:36,245 --> 01:12:38,372
hideousness!
798
01:12:38,448 --> 01:12:41,383
Can you spare five minutes, Chris?
799
01:12:41,451 --> 01:12:44,852
No, Marv!
I'm going to expose the comas!
800
01:12:44,921 --> 01:12:47,185
I can help if you'll come with me.
801
01:12:49,125 --> 01:12:51,218
Okay, fine.
802
01:12:52,462 --> 01:12:54,487
Let's go.
803
01:12:57,266 --> 01:12:59,234
Afraid it's the other way, Chris.
804
01:12:59,302 --> 01:13:02,738
All right, everyone, stay together.
Tight unit.
805
01:13:02,805 --> 01:13:05,968
I'm glad that you and Don
have come to your senses...
806
01:13:06,042 --> 01:13:08,875
and realize that you can't--
807
01:13:11,347 --> 01:13:12,780
What is this?
808
01:13:12,849 --> 01:13:16,148
This is the real press conference.
809
01:13:16,219 --> 01:13:18,187
The real press conference?
810
01:13:19,922 --> 01:13:21,685
There's food.
811
01:13:32,201 --> 01:13:34,135
Ladies and everyone...
812
01:13:34,203 --> 01:13:37,900
we've been joined
by Dr. Chris Cooper.
813
01:13:42,345 --> 01:13:44,279
And thanks to Dr. Cooper...
814
01:13:44,347 --> 01:13:47,145
we're pleased to announce
that we're breaking ground...
815
01:13:47,216 --> 01:13:51,050
on the first of ten
new Roritor Comatoriums.
816
01:13:59,061 --> 01:14:03,828
Now I'd like to introduce you
to our first lucky resident.
817
01:14:09,639 --> 01:14:11,231
There, there, old darling.
818
01:14:12,775 --> 01:14:14,640
It's Mrs. Hurdicure.
819
01:14:14,710 --> 01:14:18,578
What a wonderful visit we're having
to Roritor's new Comatorium...
820
01:14:18,648 --> 01:14:22,175
where my mother will be cared for,
washed and read to.
821
01:14:22,251 --> 01:14:24,378
- We envy her.
- Yes, we do.
822
01:14:24,453 --> 01:14:28,981
But we will settle for this
cashier's check...
823
01:14:29,058 --> 01:14:31,993
for $ 1 0,000.
824
01:14:33,796 --> 01:14:39,291
Which families receive if a lucky
loved one goes to a better place--
825
01:14:39,368 --> 01:14:42,201
their happiest memory.
826
01:14:44,574 --> 01:14:48,374
Wow, that's a lot of money!
How pleasing!
827
01:14:55,785 --> 01:14:57,275
Wait!
828
01:14:59,355 --> 01:15:01,949
That's not what I invented
the drug for.
829
01:15:02,024 --> 01:15:04,458
I mean, does she look happy?
830
01:15:07,597 --> 01:15:09,622
Yes.
831
01:15:09,699 --> 01:15:13,260
Okay granted, she looks happy.
832
01:15:13,336 --> 01:15:16,965
But people are supposed
to be depressed sometimes!
833
01:15:18,307 --> 01:15:22,903
We invented the drug for people
too depressed to get off the floor.
834
01:15:22,979 --> 01:15:26,312
Not because you missed your bus...
835
01:15:26,382 --> 01:15:28,646
or you don't look good
in a yellow hat.
836
01:15:29,685 --> 01:15:31,209
That's just wrong.
837
01:15:31,287 --> 01:15:33,255
Tell 'em, Chris.
838
01:15:35,458 --> 01:15:38,018
I mean, without his pain
and his sadness...
839
01:15:38,094 --> 01:15:41,655
could Van Gogh have painted
all that stuff?
840
01:15:45,901 --> 01:15:50,133
I know that's not an actual
Van Gogh, but still my point is...
841
01:15:50,206 --> 01:15:52,504
you can't be happy all the time!
842
01:15:52,575 --> 01:15:56,170
That's life!
Take it back!
843
01:16:10,059 --> 01:16:14,655
You know, those words hurt.
844
01:16:16,632 --> 01:16:22,002
But you realize they come from a
man who's gone mad with depression.
845
01:16:23,105 --> 01:16:27,269
Unfortunately, it seems to happen
to some of our greatest geniuses.
846
01:16:27,343 --> 01:16:30,107
People like Oppenheimer,
Schweitzer...
847
01:16:30,179 --> 01:16:31,840
Boxcar Willie.
848
01:16:34,550 --> 01:16:37,713
That's why today we're specially sad
to announce that Dr. Chris Cooper...
849
01:16:37,787 --> 01:16:41,917
has in fact been found
certifiably depressed.
850
01:16:45,227 --> 01:16:47,593
What does that mean again, Cisco?
851
01:16:47,663 --> 01:16:49,824
Legally, he's gotta take
his own drug.
852
01:16:49,899 --> 01:16:50,991
Right.
853
01:16:55,738 --> 01:16:59,868
Please, Chris, we want you to try
and remember...
854
01:16:59,942 --> 01:17:04,507
that we're only doing this
because we love you.
855
01:17:04,641 --> 01:17:08,771
If the pill is so safe, Don,
why don't you take it?
856
01:17:08,845 --> 01:17:11,405
Yeah!
857
01:17:13,049 --> 01:17:15,540
Why don't you take it?
858
01:17:16,786 --> 01:17:19,380
I've absolutely no problem
with that.
859
01:17:19,456 --> 01:17:21,822
In fact, I'm quite fond
of the drug.
860
01:17:21,891 --> 01:17:26,089
And if a demonstration is what
is needed here, so be it.
861
01:17:26,162 --> 01:17:27,959
- Marv?
- Yes, Don?
862
01:17:28,031 --> 01:17:30,056
Take the drug.
863
01:17:32,268 --> 01:17:33,792
Of course, Don.
864
01:17:42,545 --> 01:17:45,480
Is that cappuccino
ever gonna be ready...
865
01:17:45,548 --> 01:17:48,608
or do I have to come in there
and grind the beans with your head?
866
01:17:48,685 --> 01:17:50,812
Just warming it up, Don.
867
01:17:50,887 --> 01:17:52,855
What is taking you so long?
868
01:17:52,922 --> 01:17:54,913
Stop staring at me.
869
01:18:01,197 --> 01:18:02,824
Coming, Don.
870
01:18:11,107 --> 01:18:13,541
Well, there you have it.
871
01:18:13,610 --> 01:18:17,341
I've done my part.
We've taken the drug.
872
01:18:17,414 --> 01:18:21,680
And now it's your turn, Dr. Cooper.
873
01:18:32,362 --> 01:18:35,354
Oh, come on, Chris. Open.
874
01:19:12,936 --> 01:19:14,597
Oh, dear.
875
01:19:23,446 --> 01:19:26,381
It's the little things in life
that make it worthwhile.
876
01:19:36,392 --> 01:19:38,087
Good coffee, Marv.
877
01:19:45,535 --> 01:19:47,560
Slipped off my shoes.
878
01:20:15,331 --> 01:20:20,030
So, did they listen to Dr. Cooperand stop taking the drug?
879
01:20:20,103 --> 01:20:23,163
No, they did not, goddamn it!
880
01:20:23,306 --> 01:20:27,675
Today they even have paradesto celebrate the comas.
881
01:20:27,744 --> 01:20:32,044
And they drag out the poor bastardslike they're fucking astronauts.
882
01:20:33,249 --> 01:20:36,946
I don't like the world now.
883
01:20:37,020 --> 01:20:39,648
I mean, before I always knewI was a son of a bitch.
884
01:20:39,722 --> 01:20:42,190
But now I'm the onlyson of a bitch I know.
885
01:20:42,258 --> 01:20:46,126
Make way for a real human being!
886
01:20:46,196 --> 01:20:49,324
Get out of the way, you--
887
01:20:59,175 --> 01:21:01,609
As for Dr. Cooper...
888
01:21:01,678 --> 01:21:05,580
well, some people saythat hejoined a KISS cover band...
889
01:21:05,648 --> 01:21:09,516
and he rocks three nights a weekin some chicken wing spot.
890
01:21:09,586 --> 01:21:13,784
But still, others say,and I hope this is true...
891
01:21:13,856 --> 01:21:16,620
that he is out there, somewhere...
892
01:21:16,693 --> 01:21:21,289
working on the curefor all this stupid happiness.
893
01:21:21,364 --> 01:21:26,233
All right, everyone, easy, easy.
894
01:21:28,371 --> 01:21:29,929
Alice, wait.
895
01:21:31,174 --> 01:21:34,769
I just wanna say
that we've worked very hard...
896
01:21:34,844 --> 01:21:38,245
under some
difficult circumstances...
897
01:21:38,314 --> 01:21:41,511
and I'm very confident
that this new drug...
898
01:21:41,584 --> 01:21:44,246
will unlock her unhappiest memory.
899
01:21:44,320 --> 01:21:48,484
Yeah, but that's what you said
about the drug we tested on Baxter.
900
01:21:59,202 --> 01:22:01,136
Okay then, let's get at it.
901
01:22:03,106 --> 01:22:05,233
Open wide, Mrs. Hurdicure.
902
01:22:06,676 --> 01:22:08,644
That's a good girl.
903
01:22:17,620 --> 01:22:18,882
Mrs. Hurdicure...
904
01:22:18,955 --> 01:22:20,889
how do you feel?
905
01:22:25,161 --> 01:22:26,355
Sad.
906
01:22:26,429 --> 01:22:28,090
She's depressed!
907
01:22:28,164 --> 01:22:29,756
Yes, yes!
908
01:22:29,832 --> 01:22:32,027
She's sad! She's sad!
909
01:22:37,440 --> 01:22:40,238
Baxter, we did it.
910
01:22:40,310 --> 01:22:41,743
Yeah.
911
01:22:42,979 --> 01:22:45,470
Wait. Baxter.
912
01:22:45,548 --> 01:22:48,039
No, Baxter! Bax--
913
01:22:48,117 --> 01:22:50,085
She's sad!
914
01:22:57,393 --> 01:23:01,693
Alice, we just depressed
one old lady.
915
01:23:01,764 --> 01:23:04,858
We got a whole world
to bum out.
916
01:23:04,934 --> 01:23:06,799
It can wait.
917
01:23:26,856 --> 01:23:30,383
Okay, Miguel,
I got a surprise for you.
918
01:23:30,460 --> 01:23:34,226
So keep your eyes closed
and don't peek, okay?
919
01:23:34,297 --> 01:23:36,993
Okay, open your eyes.
920
01:23:37,066 --> 01:23:39,261
Surprise!
921
01:23:39,335 --> 01:23:42,361
Wow, thanks, Grandma!
922
01:23:42,438 --> 01:23:46,204
Happy birthday, Miguel.
Oh, you look adorable.
923
01:23:46,275 --> 01:23:48,209
Let me get a picture of you.
924
01:23:48,277 --> 01:23:51,974
Boy, oh, boy, this will be grand.
Miguel?
925
01:23:52,048 --> 01:23:53,174
Miguel!
926
01:23:55,017 --> 01:23:57,542
Oh, no. Come to Grandma.
927
01:24:00,022 --> 01:24:02,013
I'm gonna fall!
928
01:24:02,091 --> 01:24:05,322
So what doesthis whole story mean?
929
01:24:05,395 --> 01:24:09,161
The only way to be happy is to know
930
01:24:09,232 --> 01:24:12,793
You won't be happy every single day
931
01:24:15,638 --> 01:24:17,071
It sounds better...
932
01:24:17,140 --> 01:24:19,734
in the original Croatian.
933
01:24:19,809 --> 01:24:22,573
As for the kid,he turned out okay.
934
01:24:22,645 --> 01:24:25,876
He came down in a fielda couple of days later...
935
01:24:25,948 --> 01:24:29,884
and ironically grew upto be an airline pilot.
936
01:24:29,952 --> 01:24:34,082
So there you go.You have your happy ending.
937
01:24:34,157 --> 01:24:35,784
Now get out...
938
01:24:35,858 --> 01:24:40,144
because nowhere on your ticketdoes it say you can sleep here.
939
01:27:57,608 --> 01:27:58,700
Mother Hurdicure.
940
01:27:59,811 --> 01:28:02,109
Oh, Ginny.
941
01:28:02,180 --> 01:28:04,341
Where's Miguel?
942
01:28:04,415 --> 01:28:06,747
I thought he was with you.
943
01:28:08,219 --> 01:28:10,983
Well, he's missed the clown.
69496
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