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1
00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:05,206
("I Walk for Miles"
by Dinosaur Jr. playing)
2
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:15,583
* I walk for miles
3
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:20,554
* I came for you
4
00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:25,693
* Stop for a while
5
00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:29,397
* What's left to do?
6
00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:36,337
* Left there so tired
7
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:39,740
* Won't hold of you
8
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:44,145
*
9
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:53,254
* Set my heart is too
10
00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:58,192
(quietly):
Yes!
11
00:00:58,226 --> 00:00:59,427
(exhales)
12
00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:02,896
* Set my beats on you.
13
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:14,808
*
14
00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:25,153
*
15
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:44,572
* I'm gonna leave you anyway
16
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,308
* I'm gonna leave you
anyway *
17
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:49,777
* Gonna leave you anyway.
18
00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:58,085
JIMMY: He went to wipe it away,
and she said, "No. Leave it."
19
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:01,322
And there it lay,
like a raindrop, tremulous,
20
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:03,657
quivering...
21
00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:07,495
on the hood of her father's
beloved Aston Martin.
22
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,132
(exhales)
23
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:13,801
(doorbell rings)
24
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:34,988
(sighs)
25
00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:36,390
Okay.
26
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:40,661
Ugh! My car's
doing that thing
27
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,496
where if I take my hands
off the steering wheel
28
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,465
for more than, like,
ten seconds at a time,
29
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:45,999
it starts drifting
all over the road.
30
00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:48,402
This came for you.
31
00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:53,707
What?
32
00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:55,609
We can litter
in our own front yard now?!
33
00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:02,850
So...
34
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:05,586
my boss wants me to take
this new client out.
35
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:08,188
Oh, I swear to God,
the last thing I need
36
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:10,724
is another crazy
high-maintenance musician.
37
00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:14,328
Oh, my God! I just got
some video of a raccoon
38
00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:17,865
running down our street with
two fistfuls of Chinese food.
39
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:21,101
The Internet is gonna go bonkers
for Chow Mein Raccoon.
40
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:22,903
Oh, hey, this came for you.
41
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,905
I know. It's trash.
42
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:26,940
What is it?
My father's ashes.
43
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,208
(screaming)
44
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,545
Oh, I have to!
45
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,213
(screams)
Okay.
46
00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:34,782
(groans)
47
00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:39,453
BOTH:
Oh!
48
00:03:39,487 --> 00:03:42,756
Oh, Jimmy! Ew! Ew!
49
00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:45,125
It's all chunky!
(groaning)
50
00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:46,594
(grunts)
51
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,462
Oh, there's a note.
(blowing)
52
00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:50,864
Oh, hey, guys,
sorry, I-I don't have
53
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,466
my pot card yet, so...
54
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,001
Eject.
55
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:58,105
(scoffs softly)
56
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:01,575
(British accent):
"Shitty Jimmy,
57
00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,243
"here's Dad's ashes.
58
00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:05,245
"He wanted you to have
a memorial for him,
59
00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:07,648
because you're rich and
talk good." (laughs)
60
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,384
You gonna do it?
Absolutely.
61
00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:12,953
I'm gonna just stop
writing my book because
62
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,389
my father thinks I should
throw him a memorial service
63
00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:19,126
despite forgetting
my birthdays five through 33.
64
00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:21,762
Quick, let's rent
the Coolhaus truck!
65
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,764
Jimmy, you know I'm here
if you ever want to...
66
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,265
Have sex? Great. Let's go.
67
00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:27,468
Okay. But I have
a meeting later.
68
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:30,871
So just keep me clean
from... here up.
69
00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:45,619
This...
(door closes)
70
00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:47,287
is Raul.
71
00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:49,423
He's interested in
playing with us.
72
00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:51,792
So, we're all playing?
73
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:54,294
Well, you'll be watching
me and Raul playing.
74
00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:57,631
And absolutely,
down the line...
75
00:04:57,665 --> 00:04:59,633
we could do whatever
your thing is.
76
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,969
Well, actually...
Yeah, down the line.
77
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,208
I don't know if I can do this.
78
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,543
I mean,
I don't even like
79
00:05:09,577 --> 00:05:11,445
watching other men
put gas in my car.
80
00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:13,647
But you said!
I'm sorry. I just can't.
81
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,315
(pants)
82
00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:17,551
Maybe we could get
a couple's massage.
83
00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:19,620
Or I saw a Groupon
84
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,655
for boudoir photography.
85
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,857
I could wear a fedora.
86
00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:25,859
You could be my client
87
00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:29,329
whose legs go
all the way down to the floor.
88
00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:32,700
That sounds...
89
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:34,668
(sighs)
fine.
90
00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:40,474
(gentle music playing)
91
00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:42,443
May I have this dance?
92
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,345
(chuckles)
93
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:47,180
See?
94
00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:48,181
We still have spark.
95
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:49,583
(both laugh)
96
00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:52,753
I'd dip you, but my
stitches might pop out.
97
00:05:57,024 --> 00:06:00,394
Honestly, Gretchen,
I never cared about publicity.
98
00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:02,530
I mean, I was always
just Ben Folds,
99
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,832
regular guy from North Carolina
who plays piano
100
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,234
and smokes a pretty decent
pork shoulder.
101
00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:10,538
Anyway, since I've relocated
to L.A.,
102
00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:12,406
I guess I have to play
the game now.
103
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,407
So here we are.
104
00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:15,543
I got to say,
105
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:18,612
I was half expecting you to be
another high-maintenance diva.
106
00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:20,213
Oh, no, you're probably
thinking of Ben Kweller.
107
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:23,383
I'm so sorry,
but I-I really love your music.
108
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:25,619
No, no, no, no, I'm sorry.
It means a lot to me and my son.
109
00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:27,755
Mr. Folds and I are in a...
It's okay, it's okay.
110
00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:29,122
What's his name?
111
00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:30,390
Uh, Riley.
112
00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:32,526
Riley. And what's
Riley's thing?
113
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,128
He's, uh,
pretty into baseball.
114
00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:36,564
Yeah?
115
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,905
Wow! I had no idea you
were also an artist.
116
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:46,740
You're everywhere, man!
117
00:06:46,774 --> 00:06:48,809
Well, maybe I'll
run into you again.
118
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:52,646
Wow! You were so nice to him.
119
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,314
A girl once asked
120
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:55,749
my client Sam for his autograph,
121
00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:57,585
and he threw her crutches
into traffic.
122
00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:59,587
Oh, I don't know
about all that, Gretchen.
123
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:02,155
I-I'm just a regular guy
from North Carolina
124
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:05,959
who plays piano and smokes
a pretty decent pork shoulder.
125
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:14,401
Got to say, Dad,
the work is flowing
126
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,704
like it's never flowed before.
127
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:18,972
Okay.
128
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,276
Settle in.
129
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:24,845
(sighs)
130
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,848
"Normally,
she hated to be on top.
131
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:30,918
"She liked the weight of a man
pressing down on her,
132
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:35,689
"the liberation of not having
real agency in the shameful act.
133
00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:39,660
"But to be astride the man
was the only way she could keep
134
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:42,462
"her gaze trained
on the two-way mirror.
135
00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:45,499
"Because when Kitty looked
into her reflection
136
00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:47,434
"and met her eyes,
137
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,838
"she knew she was
also meeting Simon's eyes.
138
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:54,842
Her brother's eyes."
139
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,343
(chuckles):
Whoa!
140
00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:59,112
You did not see
that one coming, did you?
141
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,549
Okay, that's it,
we're having a funeral.
142
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:04,317
Your butt's gonna have a funeral
when I'm through with it.
143
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:05,485
(laughs)
144
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:09,189
Jimmy, clearly you
need some closure.
145
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:11,024
My therapist told
me about this.
146
00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:15,295
Apparently, if you don't deal
with your emotional crap,
147
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,698
it can mess your
shit up later.
148
00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:19,299
Oh, fine.
149
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,835
Uh, we'll invite
a few people over,
150
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:23,203
and then call it a day.
151
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:25,138
You have to
make a speech.
Ack!
152
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:27,474
The note said you talk good.
153
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,509
Everybody know
Jimmy talk real good.
154
00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:36,483
Next we have Item 7-A,
which is the reading...
155
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,518
Whoa! What?
156
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:39,687
What?
157
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:40,988
Okay.
158
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,256
City Council Member
Todd Winterer
159
00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:46,259
initiated legislation
regarding a bus accident,
160
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:50,330
but Council Member
Pam O'Connel abstained.
161
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,232
Pam O'Connel!
162
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,034
Who recommended
the purchase
163
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:57,537
of two natural gas
street sweepers.
164
00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:59,206
But guess who
voted nay.
165
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:01,008
Todd Winterer.
166
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,711
Now, ask yourself why.
167
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:04,778
Well, because...
168
00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:07,280
(doorbell rings)
169
00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:09,549
That must be the food.
170
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:11,585
(TV continues playing quietly)
171
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:17,958
(door opens)
PAUL:
Oh, my.
172
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:20,961
You're not the food
delivery person.
173
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:22,996
(door closes)
174
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:27,067
Paul. What's going on?
175
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,569
Lindsay, I know
how important
176
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,805
this is to you, so...
177
00:09:31,839 --> 00:09:34,241
I found the gentleman
you picked out on the Web site.
178
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,610
We FaceTimed,
and he's very nice.
179
00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:38,311
He goes to
Loyola Marymount.
180
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:39,579
Go Lions.
181
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,417
Paul.
182
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:46,286
Anything for our family.
183
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:49,256
Okay, so I don't know
how this works.
184
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:52,793
Is there, like, a discussion
about what's appropriate?
185
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:54,127
Or, uh...
186
00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:54,962
Go sit over there.
187
00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:57,330
Okay.
188
00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:59,366
*
189
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:15,048
(slap, Lindsay moans)
190
00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:23,590
So what I found is that
marijuana really helps me
191
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,993
with my symptoms, and
I-I was just wondering
192
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:28,295
if there's some sort of form
I could fill out to make sure
193
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,931
that it doesn't interfere
with my other benefits.
194
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,133
You just walked into
a government building
195
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:36,804
and asked if we'd be cool
with you taking illegal drugs.
196
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:39,106
Maybe on your way home
197
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,540
you can stop at the DMV
198
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,442
and ask if they'll let you
steal some cars.
199
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,344
Well, pot is legal
in California.
200
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:45,813
Oh.
201
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:49,149
You mean the independent nation
of California?
202
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:51,218
Is that the army
you fought for?
203
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:52,686
The Army of California?
204
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,021
How'd they pay you?
205
00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:55,856
Avocados and screenplays?
206
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:58,859
Wait. So are you saying that I
can't use marijuana medicinally,
207
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,660
even though it's legal
in this state?
208
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:01,895
I said no such thing.
209
00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:03,363
So I can use it?
210
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:04,832
I don't know.
211
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:07,968
All I know is that...
212
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,838
(quietly): marijuana is
a Schedule 1 narcotic.
213
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:12,205
And you're asking me,
214
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,507
a government employee,
if you can take it.
215
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:17,344
Let's call the police
and ask them.
216
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:18,812
No, they won't have...
Hey, police.
217
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:20,914
Which federally illegal drugs
218
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:23,616
can this guy take that
will be cool with the V.A.?
219
00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:26,453
They want to talk to you.
220
00:11:34,762 --> 00:11:36,663
(sighs)
221
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,698
(over P.A.):
Number 83.
222
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,804
(footsteps approaching)
223
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,175
Is that your eulogy?
224
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,709
Of sorts.
225
00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:51,344
I've prepared a list
of heckles.
226
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,747
Jimmy, shouldn't a
eulogy be heartfelt?
227
00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:57,017
All my father ever did
was take the piss.
228
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,919
But I like the area you're in.
229
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:01,755
How about, "Dad, I hope
you truly do rest in peace"?
230
00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:03,290
Oh.
231
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:04,691
As opposed to how
you usually rest,
232
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,359
in a pair of urine-soaked
sweatpants. (laughs)
233
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:07,560
(knocking)
234
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:12,933
Jimmy!
235
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,734
It's me, Freddie.
236
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,870
I worked with your dad
at the plant.
237
00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:18,872
Oh, yes,
now I remember you.
238
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,774
You and dad used to
show up at school
239
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:22,442
and heckle me
during gym class.
240
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:23,911
What do you want?
241
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:25,478
I live in Fresno
with me daughter now.
242
00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:27,547
Your sisters want me
to follow up with you.
243
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:28,982
Apparently, you
blocked their numbers,
244
00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:30,550
and they want me
to tell you:
245
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,953
A, you're to have the funeral;
246
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:35,755
B, to make sure
to scatter his ashes;
247
00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:38,091
and C, don't fall into any shit.
248
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,093
Ah! Well, tell them:
249
00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:42,295
A, we're already having
a service tomorrow;
250
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:45,632
B, I will scatter his ashes,
into the toilet;
251
00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:48,101
and, C, you're grossly obese,
252
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:49,602
brush your teeth,
and you're a whore--
253
00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:51,338
in descending
chronological birth order.
254
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,473
Brilliant! Oh.
255
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,909
I also have something
I'd like to read about Ronny,
256
00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:57,477
if it's okay with you.
257
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,947
Actually, that sounds great.
258
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,249
Yeah, tomorrow at 7:00.
And bring something to drink.
259
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,784
If it's rosé, just keep it
Cotes de Provence.
260
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:06,253
And maybe some ice.
261
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:09,156
Cotes de Provence, ice.
262
00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:12,125
(quietly):
Cotes de Provence, ice.
263
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:13,526
Well, I'm off the hook.
264
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:14,761
What do you mean?
265
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,429
We'll have the wake,
266
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:20,333
that old fart will do the eulogy
and bring ice.
267
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:22,369
It's perfect.
268
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,642
*
269
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:31,979
(singers vocalizing)
270
00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:41,955
(chuckles) When Raul was
doing me from behind,
271
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:46,359
and I was thrusting my hips,
that was so hot, right?
272
00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:53,033
* My family deserted me...
273
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,237
(chuckles)
274
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,307
Oh, look.
275
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,642
There's a bowl of
candy in a quadcopter.
276
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:03,843
Entertain yourself.
277
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:09,482
Ben? What are you doing here?
278
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:13,253
Your office said you'd
recently experienced a loss.
279
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:15,488
So I wanted to bring
some flowers.
Oh.
280
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,490
And, of course, some of
my famous pork shoulder.
281
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:18,491
Oh.
282
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,027
It's just
what you do.
283
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:21,194
May I ask who passed?
284
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:22,862
Oh, my boyfriend's father.
285
00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:24,531
Oh, gosh, oh, no, that's
286
00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:27,067
terrible, terrible news.
287
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,002
I'm incredibly
close to my Papa.
288
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:31,671
Funerals are
so important.
289
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:32,839
Who's playing?
290
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:33,840
Playing music?
291
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,608
Oh, uh... no one?
292
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:38,611
(sighs) I've got my
piano in the truck.
293
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:40,580
Okay, sure, that's...
294
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:42,715
incredibly generous of you.
295
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:45,585
(chuckles)
296
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,554
Thank you, my love.
297
00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:49,222
(both chuckle)
298
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,725
Whoops. Bubbles.
299
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:55,128
Can't risk another
epiglottal infection.
300
00:14:55,162 --> 00:14:57,764
I'll just run
and swap this out.
301
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,270
Something is up with you
two, and I don't like it.
302
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:04,637
What's going on?
You'd be happy, too,
303
00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:06,473
if you weren't so poor now.
304
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:09,309
Because you're my sister,
and I love you,
305
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:12,379
I'll go sneak some
spanakopitas into my purse
306
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:16,083
and give them to you later,
so you can feed your baby.
307
00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:22,322
(stifled sob)
308
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:24,357
(piano playing somber melody)
309
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:29,997
Hey, do you
have any weed?
310
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:33,133
I can't afford it with this
stupid budget Becca's got me on,
311
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,068
so I've been smoking
dried banana peels.
312
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:37,070
Why don't you just
get a pot card?
313
00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:39,006
The V.A. says it'll
mess with my benefits,
314
00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:41,674
but it's, like, the only thing
that helps, so...
315
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,143
I don't know what to do.
316
00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:44,978
The doctor in me
is like,
317
00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:47,147
you're the patient, take
what you've been prescribed,
318
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,415
you dumb little bitch.
319
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:49,649
Yeah, that's what I figured.
320
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,518
But the human in me is like,
321
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,286
"Smoke that ganj, yo."
322
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:56,656
Real talk? It's bullroar that
you can't get a pot card.
323
00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:57,824
You went to war.
324
00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:59,292
And straight berserkered
on fools.
325
00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:00,994
That's an actual reason.
326
00:16:01,028 --> 00:16:04,964
Like, everyone at this party has
a pot card for a dumb reason.
327
00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:07,100
Gretchen said
she had insomnia.
328
00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:09,302
Lindsay said
her back hurt.
329
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:11,504
Piano fingers.
330
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,273
What reason did you use?
331
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,208
I just said I saw a dog.
332
00:16:15,242 --> 00:16:16,443
Did you?
333
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:17,510
No, man. Total lie.
334
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:19,046
I didn't see a dog all day.
335
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,014
Well, on TV, sure.
336
00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:22,449
You can't turn on a TV
337
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,517
without seeing, like,
or four of them shits.
338
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:26,319
(clears throat)
339
00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:27,554
(music stops)
340
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:30,623
Hello. Thank you all for coming
to the memorial service
341
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:33,193
for my father,
Ronny Overly.
342
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:35,062
His friend Freddie
will do the eulogy,
343
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:37,064
we'll toast,
and then you will leave.
344
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:39,066
(Freddie claps,
piano plays upbeat tune)
345
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:41,734
Cheers.
346
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:43,870
Cheers, everyone.
(piano plays flourish)
347
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:45,905
"Ronny Overly
348
00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:47,640
"was not only my coworker.
349
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,342
"He was my hero.
350
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:51,711
"He cherished his family,
351
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:54,047
"especially his son, Jimmy.
352
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:55,548
"I remember when
353
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,084
"I came out to visit Jimmy.
354
00:16:57,117 --> 00:17:00,019
"Oh, bloody hell.
355
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:01,654
"This was supposed to be
in the third person.
356
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:04,691
"Oh, well. Ha, ha.
It's me, Ronny.
357
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:09,028
"I wrote this in pen,
so I might as well keep going.
358
00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:11,164
"I just realized
359
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:13,366
"Freddie has to read
whatever I say.
360
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,168
"My name is Freddie,
361
00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:17,036
and I'm a..."
362
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:18,538
I'm not reading that.
363
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:19,939
Skipping forward.
364
00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:21,708
"Anyway,
365
00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:24,377
"I did my best to love him,
but he rejected me.
366
00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:27,714
"I sent him presents,
I visited,
367
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:29,249
"I Facebook-requested him.
368
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:31,851
"Anyway, I forgive him.
369
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,453
"Please scatter my ashes
370
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:36,256
"at the home of actor
Tony Shalhoub,
371
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:39,392
"whose movie Big Night
you and I attended together.
372
00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:41,628
What's that, Fi?"
373
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,130
WOMAN (whispering):
I think it's "Shalhoub."
374
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:44,731
"Your sister just told me
he's a Paki.
375
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:46,866
"Shit. Anyway,
376
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,702
"after the movie, you turned
to me and said, 'That's what
377
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,638
"'I want to do, Daddy.
378
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:53,273
"I want to tell stories.'
379
00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:56,743
"And I said,
'You can do anything
380
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,478
"you want, son.'
381
00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:00,947
"And so, you became a writer.
382
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,949
"I did that.
383
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:05,084
"Anyway, I hope you ditch
384
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,553
"that depressed girl.
385
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,888
(gasps quietly)
"And I hope Fi is wrong about
386
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,423
"Tony Shalhoub.
387
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:12,625
"Looking at his last name now,
388
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,794
"it does look suspicious.
389
00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:16,829
"Shal-houb.
390
00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:18,831
Cheers."
391
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:21,168
(piano plays upbeat tune)
392
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,203
(quiet murmuring)
393
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:28,441
Excuse me! Excuse me.
We are not done.
394
00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:30,277
First of all,
he is a liar!
395
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:32,679
I begged him
to take me to Big Night
396
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,347
so that we could bond,
but instead,
397
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:36,283
he went to D3: The Mighty Ducks,
398
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:37,984
and I watched Big Night alone.
399
00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:39,786
Then his movie was shorter,
400
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,155
he forgot that I was with him,
so he left without me.
401
00:18:42,189 --> 00:18:46,493
For him to claim that he was
rejected after 18 years
402
00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:50,397
of constant rejection
on his part is crazy!
403
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:54,100
In fact...
404
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,503
(piano plays dramatic tune)
405
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:02,809
I've prepared a list of heckles
for the occasion.
406
00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:04,211
VERNON:
Sweet.
407
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:07,314
Uh, "Dad, fortunately,
your death wasn't too much
408
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:09,382
"of a shock, considering
you already look like
409
00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:11,017
"someone put a Manchester jersey
410
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:13,353
on the corpse
of a drowned person."
411
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:15,154
(piano plays dramatic flourish)
412
00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:17,824
"Dad, you always were
a lady killer.
413
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:20,026
"You gave all three
of my sisters genes
414
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:22,061
"for alcoholism,
learning disabilities
415
00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:24,331
and morbid obesity."
416
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:25,965
(laughs)
Ugh.
417
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,900
I mean, we are talking
about a guy who was
418
00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:31,371
so narcissistic
that he wrote his own eulogy!
419
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:33,206
What's next?!
420
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,941
Are we...?
421
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:39,579
Freddie, when did my dad
find out he was dying?
422
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:42,715
He was diagnosed
some time last year.
423
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,262
(piano plays upbeat tune)
424
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:57,163
BEN:
Hey, folks,
425
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,165
if, uh, you're gonna
Instagram this,
426
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:02,535
be sure to, uh, hashtag
"BenFoldsSightings,"
427
00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:05,838
"BenFoldsIsEverywhere"
and "BenFoldsMovesToLA."
428
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:09,276
If you do, I'll personally tell
you what Brick is really about.
429
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:10,443
Abortion.
430
00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:12,779
No.
(plays upbeat tune)
431
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,457
Hey, thanks for playing.
432
00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:25,925
You were really great.
(door opens)
433
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:27,794
Ben! Ben! Over here, Ben!
434
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:28,961
Over here, Ben!
Sorry.
435
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:30,730
Not an appropriate
venue, bud.
436
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:32,932
Now, I'll take some pictures
with you outside later.
437
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:33,800
All right?
438
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,568
Uh...
439
00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:37,136
Wasn't that
the same guy
440
00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:39,372
who asked for your autograph
at the ice cream place?
441
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:42,975
What?! A paparazzi
and an autograph reseller?
442
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:44,844
Scumbag.
443
00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:50,216
Okay, look, I moved to L.A.
a couple months ago,
444
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:54,321
and, you know, everyone was so
excited when Moby moved to town.
445
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:56,489
It was like,
"Moby bought that house.
446
00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:58,625
Oh, and Moby
opened that restaurant."
447
00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:02,228
Ben Folds moved to town? Bupkis.
448
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,263
That's...
449
00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:07,500
That's incredibly...
450
00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:09,936
clever... of you.
451
00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:11,270
But, hey,
452
00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:12,805
it's my job now.
453
00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:15,608
Well, this was fun. Hey, guys,
454
00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:17,944
want to hit Big Wang's
or something?
455
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:19,111
Get a couple drinks in me,
456
00:21:19,145 --> 00:21:20,313
I might tell you
what Brick's about.
457
00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:21,581
Abortion.
458
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:24,016
Goddamn it.
How'd that get out?
459
00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:30,222
*
460
00:21:47,374 --> 00:21:50,042
(quietly):
Oh, shit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
461
00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:52,078
I'm sorry.
462
00:21:54,246 --> 00:21:56,549
JIMMY: You know, when we had
that moment in the pub,
463
00:21:56,583 --> 00:22:00,286
I thought to myself,
"After 33 years,
464
00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:04,524
I'm finally having
a real moment with my father."
465
00:22:04,557 --> 00:22:06,225
(scoffs)
466
00:22:06,258 --> 00:22:08,895
Can't believe what a fool I was.
467
00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:11,163
There wasn't a shred of truth
in that moment.
468
00:22:11,197 --> 00:22:13,165
You were lying the whole time.
469
00:22:13,199 --> 00:22:16,403
You were dying,
you didn't say a word.
470
00:22:16,436 --> 00:22:20,072
All you had to do was say,
"Hey, Jimmy,
471
00:22:20,106 --> 00:22:23,376
"this might be the last time
I get to see you.
472
00:22:25,077 --> 00:22:28,147
Is there anything
you'd like to say?"
473
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,517
And that way...
474
00:22:30,550 --> 00:22:35,422
despite decades of
neglecting, withholding,
475
00:22:35,455 --> 00:22:38,357
general assholery,
476
00:22:38,391 --> 00:22:41,794
I could have had
a modicum of closure.
477
00:22:43,963 --> 00:22:45,665
Goddamn you!
478
00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:49,669
I can hear you laughing at
the world "modicum" as I speak.
479
00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:52,572
Well, guess what.
480
00:22:52,605 --> 00:22:54,907
I'm getting my closure
right now.
481
00:22:56,909 --> 00:23:00,246
You do not get
to affect me anymore!
482
00:23:02,081 --> 00:23:04,283
So long, Dad.
483
00:23:05,317 --> 00:23:06,753
(grunts)
484
00:23:06,786 --> 00:23:09,456
* The captain runs his ship
485
00:23:09,489 --> 00:23:11,190
(crying)
* Into the rocks
486
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:13,560
* Well, should we give him
487
00:23:13,593 --> 00:23:18,431
* A second chance with birth
and dying based on chance *
488
00:23:18,465 --> 00:23:20,733
* The first mate tried in vain
489
00:23:20,767 --> 00:23:24,070
* To reason with his leader
490
00:23:24,103 --> 00:23:26,372
* But he failed
to heed the warning *
491
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:30,409
* Now there's wreckage
in the morning *
492
00:23:30,443 --> 00:23:35,548
* The ocean floor is filled
with forgotten gold *
493
00:23:35,582 --> 00:23:38,585
* And the tears
of fallen captains *
494
00:23:38,618 --> 00:23:42,889
* Keep the salty waters full
495
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:45,492
* And you might
think his folly *
496
00:23:45,525 --> 00:23:48,227
* Obvious and blind
497
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:51,263
* But who among us
hasn't needed *
498
00:23:51,297 --> 00:23:55,502
* Judgment tossed aside,
oh, no. *
499
00:23:56,503 --> 00:23:59,438
(dog barks)
500
00:24:02,475 --> 00:24:05,444
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