Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,069 --> 00:00:03,837
(restaurant patrons
talking and laughing)
2
00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:05,539
Oh, nude beach.
Ball pit.
3
00:00:05,573 --> 00:00:06,674
Strip club.
Paddle boats.
4
00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,876
LINDSAY: Dildo party.
EDGAR: Turtle races.
5
00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:11,145
LINDSAY: Sex trampoline.
EDGAR: Ah, yes.
6
00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:12,913
Can we do that
at the nude beach?
7
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:14,982
That could be like third.
What are we doing?
8
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,150
Making a list, ho.
9
00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:17,685
Look around, guys.
10
00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:19,420
Sunday Funday
is so played out.
11
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:23,757
Oh, no. They've corporatized
your cloying, fabricated,
12
00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:26,194
feckless drinking holiday.
13
00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:28,529
'Tis nothing pure anymore?
14
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:29,997
But this is our special thing.
15
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,999
It's the last thing
that's distracting us
16
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,334
from the constant dangers...
(glass breaking)
17
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,736
EDGAR:
Jesus!
18
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:38,172
(exhales)
We have to do
Sunday Funday.
19
00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:40,040
It's my one day
off from Paul.
GRETCHEN: No!
20
00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:42,343
No. You have two choices.
21
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,011
You can either be with Paul
for realsies,
22
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,913
or you can dump him.
23
00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:48,616
I am sick of listening to you
complain about stuff,
24
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,284
and not do shit about it.
Fine.
25
00:00:50,318 --> 00:00:52,253
I won't bring it
up anymore, bitch.
26
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:54,021
Bad friend bitch.
27
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,556
Hey, you can't take
Sunday Funday away from us.
28
00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,525
I love it, too, but, clearly,
29
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,793
it cannot continue
in its current form.
30
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:06,900
But... maybe with
a little creativity...
31
00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:08,502
(groans)
32
00:01:09,437 --> 00:01:11,305
Well...
33
00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:13,541
legend has it,
34
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:16,910
there is a bar,
a secret bar, so exclusive...
35
00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:18,979
No. We're not
doing your stupid
36
00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:20,381
scavenger hunt
for some dumb bar.
37
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,082
You pitch it
every Sunday.
38
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:24,318
It is not just a bar.
39
00:01:24,352 --> 00:01:27,054
It is a secret bar
with a hidden entrance.
40
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,723
A magical land
full of beautiful people,
41
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,225
and strong beverages,
42
00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:34,061
and retro decor,
called a speakeasy.
43
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,229
Bye-bye.
44
00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:37,598
Goddammit guys,
I need this.
45
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:39,300
I had depression.
46
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:43,137
That is a legit-ass,
mental-ass illness.
47
00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:45,239
I can't be a pilot.
It's a fact.
48
00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:47,141
Also, Jimmy's dad died.
49
00:01:47,175 --> 00:01:48,476
Yeah. About which,
I didn't care.
50
00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:49,943
And I think we both deserve
51
00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:53,247
to have a little fun
after all that.
52
00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:55,583
Also, there's a bar in L.A.
I can't get into.
53
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:56,917
That is unacceptable.
54
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,519
Well, accept it,
55
00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:00,588
'cause I'm not going
on a scavenger hunt
56
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,023
to find a speakeasy.
57
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:05,459
Easily the worst development
in bar culture
58
00:02:05,493 --> 00:02:09,197
since Internet jukeboxes
and big ice cubes.
59
00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:12,766
(whining)
Oh.
60
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,236
(whimpering)
61
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,375
Goddammit. Fine.
62
00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:22,810
I will come along,
63
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:25,179
but I'm not solving
any riddles.
64
00:02:25,213 --> 00:02:26,514
Fine.
65
00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:28,216
If it keeps me
out of the house...
66
00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:29,683
I'm in.
67
00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:31,519
Oh, can we call it
Sunday Funday, anyway?
68
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,987
Absolutely.
Yay!
69
00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:36,390
I have the first clue bookmarked
on my phone.
70
00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:38,192
The site is blank except
for this dumb symbol.
71
00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:40,160
You can't click on anything.
72
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,700
JIMMY:
Hmm.
73
00:02:46,734 --> 00:02:48,802
Source code.
74
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,538
There.
See those numbers?
75
00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:53,574
They're outside
any command fields.
76
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:54,908
It's a message.
77
00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:56,577
It's an address.
78
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:57,645
We won!
79
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:58,979
Ugh, never mind.
80
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,414
Too short for coordinates.
81
00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:01,582
Maybe it's date and time.
82
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:02,983
Dewey.
83
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,051
Do we what?
84
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:05,886
Dewey Decimal.
85
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:09,089
Do... we... decimal?
86
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:10,924
Yeah. When I'm
writing money.
87
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,826
Or when I get to
the end of the thing,
88
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,027
and you go "boop"
with your pen.
89
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:17,698
Boop.
JIMMY:
Jesus Christ.
90
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:22,236
The numbers refer to
the Dewey Decimal system.
91
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:28,509
So we should go
to the library.
92
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:32,713
ALL:
Oh.
93
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:35,416
GRETCHEN/LINDSAY:
* Sunday Funday
94
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,385
* Better than a Monday
95
00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:39,387
* Can only do it one way
96
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:40,788
* And that is the drunk way
97
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,356
* Sunday Funday
98
00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:44,558
* Better than a Monday
Puzzles! Mysteries!
99
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:45,626
* Can only do it one way.
100
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:48,429
I got it.
101
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:50,464
*
102
00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:56,637
* I'm gonna leave you anyway
103
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,972
* I'm gonna leave you
anyway *
104
00:03:59,006 --> 00:04:02,276
* Gonna leave you anyway.
105
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:17,024
(sighs)
106
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:20,828
Ew, books are gross.
107
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,468
Here Lindser,
I got you a book.
108
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,969
Har-har.
(gasps)
109
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,504
Here's a book
for you.
110
00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:32,406
It's called "How Not to be
a Bitch for No Reason
111
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,141
on Sunday Funday".
112
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:35,743
Oh, look.
Here's one.
113
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,945
It's called
"I'm Living a Double Life,
114
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:40,247
"and I Can't Be Myself
Around My Husband:
115
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,016
The Lindsay Jillian Story",
volume two.
116
00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:44,284
Where's volume one?
117
00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:45,486
There is no volume one.
118
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:46,854
You're just that stupid.
119
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,825
EDGAR:
She he be
doing that here?
120
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:53,193
That's weird.
Isn't that weird?
121
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:54,595
I look at porn
all the time.
122
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,664
The bank, the nail salon.
123
00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:58,265
That dog store on Fairfax
124
00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,867
that won't let me
foster puppies anymore.
125
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,435
Here we go.
126
00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:02,970
(moaning)
127
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,304
(scoffs)
128
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,545
(gasps)
129
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,114
Look.
130
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,517
"Speakeasies
of Los Angeles."
131
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,386
This must be it, right?
132
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:20,454
It has most of the numbers.
133
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:22,222
But then what are
the extra numbers
134
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:24,324
in the secret code for?
135
00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:28,396
It's a page number.
136
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:29,797
Obviously.
137
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,064
Oh, my God.
138
00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:33,200
Duh. You're so smart.
139
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:35,869
(gasps)
There's a photo.
140
00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:38,739
This whole thing's
just so mannered.
141
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,008
A library, rare books.
142
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,810
So twee and completely...
143
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,311
The piano.
144
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,713
Could it be something
about the sheet music?
145
00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:48,315
Ah! That's ingenious.
It's a ragtime.
146
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,050
You can tell from the stride
in the left hand.
147
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:52,986
What?
148
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,388
I took piano lessons.
149
00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:55,756
Mom used to challenge me
150
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:57,024
to see how loud
I could play
151
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:58,225
while her and
her scene partner
152
00:05:58,258 --> 00:05:59,893
ran lines in her room.
153
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:04,197
Do we know anyone
who knows ragtime?
154
00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:05,966
(sighs)
155
00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:12,339
God damn! These pixels
look big as shit!
156
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:15,108
So I just got a fun
piece of news.
157
00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:16,777
Shitstain and
Jaclyn eloped.
158
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:19,079
(gasps)
Oh, my God! Sweetie!
159
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:21,782
That's amazing.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
160
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:24,351
Yeah. We were in Vegas
checking out Gilles Goujon's
161
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,253
new schnitzel restaurant
in the Wynn, and figured,
162
00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:28,556
why not start the rest
of our life today?
163
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:31,358
Yeah. Isn't that a fun surprise?
164
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,527
It puts shit into perspective,
like how you can live
165
00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:37,197
your whole life alone
and... it's-it's fine.
166
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,366
I mean, I'm...
(chuckles) I'm-I'm fine.
167
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,869
SAM:
Now, let's see,
it looks like it could be
168
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:44,271
the "Hot For Florida Rag."
169
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:46,707
But...
170
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:50,811
that repeating figure
could be...
171
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:53,380
Oh, tricky.
172
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,815
Hold my bigifier.
173
00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:01,254
(playing ragtime melody)
174
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:02,355
Mm-hmm.
175
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:05,292
It's called "Happy Toes,"
176
00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:07,294
and it was written
during World War I
177
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:10,664
by Cornelius
"Eight Fingers" Gimble.
178
00:07:10,698 --> 00:07:14,001
"Happy Toes"? That's the clue?
EDGAR: Oh, I don't...
I don't know. I'm not sure
179
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:15,803
how weed will affect me
these days.
180
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:18,438
Actually, studies have shown
that marijuana can curtail
181
00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:20,974
being completely lame.
182
00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:23,644
JIMMY:
Ha! You gave in
183
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:24,912
to peer pressure.
(chuckles)
184
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,515
This is really smooth.
Keep it.
185
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,082
Do you want to join
the scavenger hunt with us?
186
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,984
(music stops)
Hell no! I am frightened
187
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,753
by puzzles and
general trickery.
188
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:35,756
The dope thing about this song
is, midway through--
189
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,991
blam--
switches into a minor key.
190
00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:41,428
So it's like "Happy Toes,"
but then it's like "Sad Toes."
191
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,796
(playing in minor key)
192
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:44,097
Happy toes,
193
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,567
sad toes...
194
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:49,537
*
195
00:07:58,712 --> 00:07:59,947
(inhales)
196
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,348
So, what's
the clue here?
197
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:03,350
Hand job massage parlors?
198
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:04,885
Pupusa ladies?
199
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:08,455
Girls wearing jeans
that give them long butt?
200
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,157
Poors?
201
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:13,060
Look!
202
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:14,494
(gasps)
203
00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:18,298
Ooh. Ooh.
(soft grunting)
204
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,568
(Lindsay groaning)
205
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,402
Give us your secrets!
206
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:23,571
I guess
207
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:25,639
he's not
for us. Oops.
208
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,407
Paul would be so good
at this.
209
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:28,508
You've said his
name twice.
210
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:30,477
Once more, you summon him like
Beetlejuice.
211
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,846
If you want to say something,
say it to my face.
212
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,848
Fine. A: You're boring.
213
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:37,317
B: I know it's you who's
been wiping boogers into
214
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,486
my glove box, and
C: you're a liar.
215
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,188
You told me to wear my
stains on the outside!
216
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,756
You can't even let Paul
know you have stains.
217
00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:45,192
You and me--
we're in a fight now!
218
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:47,227
Good!
(phone ringing)
219
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:50,263
(gasps)
Ow!
220
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:51,865
Ow!
221
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,336
WOMAN (over phone):
Sigh for me now.
222
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:57,838
Oh, my God!
Holy shit!
223
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,339
Sigh for me now.
224
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,741
She wants us
to sigh for her?
225
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,743
Sigh for me now.
How do you
sigh again?
226
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:04,177
(both sighing)
227
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:05,746
Sigh for me now.
228
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:07,781
(all three sighing)
JIMMY:
"Sigh for me."
229
00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:09,416
Cypher. Cypher.
(sighing)
230
00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:11,451
It's a cypher.
It's a code!
231
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,587
Cypher the words
"me now" on the keypad.
232
00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:16,389
Six, three, six, six, nine.
233
00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:18,792
Six, nine.
(laughs)
Nice.
234
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:21,895
Nothing's happening.
235
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:23,897
(loud clink in phone)
236
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:26,566
Oh, my God!
I mean, yes.
237
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,301
It's cool, that.
238
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,270
(gasps)
It's a key!
Baby key.
239
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,139
How are we supposed to know
what it's for?
240
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,807
Where you going?
241
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:40,113
LINDSAY:
Oh, no. We scared that man so
much, he dropped his typewriter.
242
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:41,782
He was for us.
I knew it!
243
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:44,084
And what was the plan
if we hadn't scared him?
244
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:45,953
Hand it to us? Stupid.
245
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:48,121
It's okay to admit that
you like this, Jimmy.
246
00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:50,557
I just want to find this bar
so that I can tell
247
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,459
whoever made this amateur game
248
00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:54,928
what a minor league
effort it is.
249
00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,429
(both gasping)
What the...?
250
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:57,665
GRETCHEN:
Oh, my God!
251
00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:59,667
That's insane!
Okay.
252
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:01,334
That's quite clever.
253
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:03,737
The masturbating homeless man's
computer took the photo.
254
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,806
But why photos of us?
What does it mean?
255
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,908
That we're the bar.
256
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,843
The bar's inside us.
(Gretchen gasps)
257
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:10,778
There's something
on the back.
258
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:12,245
It's a map.
259
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,614
But of what?
260
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,950
Looks like
titty veins.
261
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:18,351
(giggles)
262
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:20,120
Train lines, maybe?
263
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:23,123
Do we know anyone who's
knowledgeable about trains?
264
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,258
Paul is a long-time t... No!
265
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,626
Beetlejuice, bitch!
266
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:37,971
(crowd chatter)
267
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,606
Wèi, everybody.
268
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,609
I bring Boba,
or bubble tea.
269
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:47,214
Oh, no! Aah! Oh, no!
270
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:49,516
I'll just have
a sip of yours.
No, you won't.
271
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:53,620
You girls and your
antics. (laughs)
272
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:57,390
Okay, so, the blank map
273
00:10:57,424 --> 00:11:01,628
you sent me is indeed the old
Pacific Electric Railway system.
274
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,396
And you see here
275
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:06,533
is the one spot they
erased from your map.
276
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:09,136
We are standing
in the exact spot
277
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,038
of the missing
Red Car station
278
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:13,506
for what is now
known as "Chinatown,"
279
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,642
or... (speaking Chinese)
280
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,211
It's got to be the
fortune cookie factory.
281
00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:20,447
(gasps)
(exhales)
282
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,350
Come on, Lindser.
283
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:26,053
Don't you want to come with
your husband whom you love so?
284
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:28,588
Yes, Lindsay, do come!
285
00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:30,323
I'm busy.
286
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,725
Oh.
287
00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:34,427
(sighs heavily)
Okay, well...
288
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:35,996
(Paul speaks Chinese)
289
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,664
How's it going?
290
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,267
I went off my meds because
my dick didn't work,
291
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,435
and now I'm totally
freaked out by everything,
292
00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:46,539
but this pot is
mellowing me out, so,
293
00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:48,675
that's an illegal temporary fix.
294
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,844
(rhythmic drumming)
How about you?
295
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:52,746
I have to Gone Girl myself
296
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:55,582
and start over
where nobody knows me.
297
00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:58,018
I'm the hottest girl
by, like, millions,
298
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:01,421
because, you know, America.
299
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:04,224
(firecrackers popping)
You know, the scariest thing
for me was to decide
300
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,927
that I needed to try to
figure out my stuff on my own,
301
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,796
not just what
they tell me to do.
302
00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:11,464
Maybe before you
do something drastic,
303
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:14,067
why not just try the thing
you're most afraid of?
304
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,069
You mean ask Paul
to accommodate my needs
305
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:17,971
within the confines
of the marriage?
306
00:12:18,005 --> 00:12:20,640
You had that right in
the chamber, didn't you?
307
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:22,810
I mean, sure.
308
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,912
Why not?
309
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:27,147
So everything triggers you?
310
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,715
(fireworks popping)
Oh, yeah.
311
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,317
I'm worse than ever.
312
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,052
Even, like, small noises
313
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,587
or someone yelling will
just send me, like, to...
314
00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:36,990
Edgar? Turn around.
315
00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:40,928
(drumming,
firecrackers popping)
316
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:49,202
Has that been going on
for a while?
317
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,672
Holy shit.
318
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:55,108
I didn't even flinch.
319
00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:00,948
I'll be right...
I'll be right back.
320
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:04,517
"The sun always shines
after a downpour."
321
00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:07,420
Well, first of all,
meteorologically inaccurate.
322
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,689
Second of all, meaningless.
I don't think the clues
323
00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:11,758
are in the fortunes.
(Paul groans)
324
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,161
I shouldn't have inhaled
all that slippery shrimp.
325
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:16,263
I'd already chugged
the egg drop soup.
326
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,298
And that whole
fried fish.
327
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:20,500
I have such a weakness
for Cantonese, Sichuan,
328
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:23,203
Shandong and
Zhejiang cuisines.
329
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:26,173
Jiangsu I'm a
little iffy on.
330
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:30,878
Ooh. Anything to
eat in there?
331
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:32,145
(Edgar panting)
332
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:36,349
Immersion therapy.
333
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:37,817
(siren wailing,
train bell clanging)
334
00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:39,652
(shouting):
Are you sure about this?
335
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:42,322
(train whistle blowing,
Edgar inhales)
336
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,160
*
337
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:53,800
Do it!
338
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,202
* Ah
339
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,339
* Ah
340
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,776
* Ah
341
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:10,183
* Ah
342
00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:13,853
* As the day sets into the sky
343
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:17,724
* Bottle rockets
344
00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:21,361
* Mothers are calling
345
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:25,232
* It's time to come home
346
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,369
* Oh
347
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:31,604
* Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh *
348
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:33,873
* Oh
349
00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:36,409
* Ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh *
350
00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:39,346
* Oh
351
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,714
* It's time to come home
352
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,751
* Ooh-upa, ooh-upa, ooh-upa
353
00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:47,254
*
354
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:51,458
* Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh *
355
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:54,027
* Ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh *
356
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:57,965
* Ooh, ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh, ooh... *
357
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:01,268
(Edgar groans)
358
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:03,203
Hey. Hey, wait.
359
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,437
Oh, stop.
360
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:06,073
(sighs)
361
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:07,774
You okay?
362
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:09,609
(sighs, panting)
363
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,080
(panting loudly)
364
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:15,148
I did it.
365
00:15:15,182 --> 00:15:16,716
(laughs)
GRETCHEN:
Okay.
366
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,485
Come on, guys.
Let's get serious.
367
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:19,752
What's the next clue?
(mocking):
What's the next clue?
368
00:15:19,786 --> 00:15:20,988
Stop it!
Stop it!
369
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,655
There is nothing here.
370
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,657
We have wasted a whole day!
371
00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:26,393
Look. Look.
372
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,795
Oh, look, look.
Shut up, asshole,
373
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,397
and look at the dragon!
374
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,332
You are a genius.
375
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,934
(inhaling)
376
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,703
That's it.
377
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:41,641
(beeping)
378
00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:44,177
If it gave me a virus, I'll...
379
00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:45,812
(chimes)
380
00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:48,448
GRETCHEN:
Holy shit.
It's taken over my phone.
381
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,117
Give me back my phone!
382
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:54,121
(slow beeping)
383
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,731
This way.
384
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:17,244
(steady beeping)
385
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,413
(beeping accelerating)
386
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:24,951
(rapid beeping)
387
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,519
(phone dinging)
This has to be it.
388
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:28,955
I'm tired.
389
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,357
Let's just go to a bar.
390
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:32,359
PAUL: This does
seem fruitless.
391
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,994
Plus, my stomach
isn't quieting down.
392
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:37,564
Yes, Jimmy. You got this.
393
00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:39,299
Go, boy. Get us
to that bar.
394
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,734
It's the symbol.
395
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:43,503
Right there.
396
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:46,306
The wire is the arc.
397
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,708
The street is the line.
398
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:51,578
GRETCHEN:
The house is the triangle!
399
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,180
It's the house.
400
00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:55,215
The bar is the house!
401
00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:58,251
*
402
00:16:58,285 --> 00:17:00,253
Of course it's gonna
look like not the thing.
403
00:17:00,287 --> 00:17:02,722
That's the whole stupid point
of stupid speakeasies.
404
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,023
(knocking)
405
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:05,425
(exhales)
Yeah, but...
406
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,427
this really doesn't
look like the thing.
407
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,861
Shut up.
Have faith.
408
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,397
(people speaking
indistinctly inside)
409
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,236
(woman speaking Spanish)
410
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:17,870
Oh, uh...
411
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:20,573
I'm sorry, wrong address?
412
00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:28,381
Well, great, Gretch.
You wasted
413
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:30,783
this entire Sunday Funday.
You have been
414
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:33,320
a gigantic bitch all day,
and I'm sick of it.
415
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:37,124
Oh, are we seriously
gonna do this?
416
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,391
Because I've been waiting
417
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:40,260
my whole goddamn
life to do this.
418
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:42,028
I was born to do this!
419
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,264
They were too happy.
420
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:49,602
They were too happy.
No families are happy!
421
00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:50,870
(grunting)
422
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,372
They were actors.
423
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,374
Jimmy, I think
this is over.
424
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,876
No. In battle,
we risk all
425
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,212
for a taste of
the immortal.
426
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:01,748
In retreat, sure,
we lose nothing,
427
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:05,785
but what we gain is
far worse than nothing:
428
00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:07,086
Ignominy.
429
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,389
And shame.
430
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,591
We don't give up
because they make us.
431
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:13,793
We give up because we're lazy!
432
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,228
Or would rather drink
433
00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:16,896
and watch Treehouse Masters.
434
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,899
Plus, no one tells my girl
she can't go to their bar!
435
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,634
I can go anywhere!
436
00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:24,271
Except Nina's-- she's
mad for some reason.
437
00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:25,805
And Ye Rustic.
438
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:27,073
The Ace Hotel. Saddleranch.
439
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,441
Sagebrush Cantina.
440
00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:31,411
The Alcove. 4100.
The Tap Room at the Langham.
441
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,346
Oh, my God. How was
I supposed to know
442
00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:35,748
Wolf Blitzer was married?
443
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:38,551
Once more unto the breach.
444
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:42,255
(both yelling)
445
00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:44,090
GRETCHEN:
It's gonna be somewhere weird!
446
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,925
A closet, a wardrobe,
the fridge!
447
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:46,959
Go!
448
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:56,002
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
(shouting)
449
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:59,506
Ha. Nice touch.
450
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:04,344
Upstairs.
451
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:05,978
Huh?
452
00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:09,549
I don't understand
what you're saying.
453
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:11,551
Ooh, flautas.
454
00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:14,587
Mexico's spring roll.
455
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:24,731
(screaming)
456
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:26,065
Oh, nice acting, dummies.
457
00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:27,166
It's got to be in here.
458
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:36,175
(toy squeaking)
459
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,314
I really thought
they were actors.
460
00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:43,216
It's okay, Jimmy.
We tried.
461
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:45,652
It's cool, man.
462
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:48,154
Why are you so relaxed?
463
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,556
Exactly.
464
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:52,191
Wait, the police
let you keep your drugs?
465
00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:54,093
So incompetent.
466
00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:57,096
(stomach grumbling)
Excuse me!
It is with great distress
467
00:19:57,129 --> 00:19:59,699
that I must ask
for a moment of privacy.
468
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:02,835
No, Paul! You are not
using the toilet in here.
469
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,404
PAUL: Were that I
could make it so, wife,
470
00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:06,506
but the situation
has become dire.
471
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,241
GRETCHEN:
Lindser, I'm sorry.
472
00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:10,510
Even though it's
super boring for me,
473
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:14,013
and believe me girl, it
is like TED Talk boring.
474
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,383
But it's my job to
listen no matter what.
475
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:18,918
(panting)
LINDSAY:
But you're right.
476
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:21,554
Sometimes I do wish
he would just disappear.
477
00:20:21,588 --> 00:20:22,822
(wall closes)
478
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:25,592
(gasps)
479
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:30,530
I'm a witch.
480
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:33,199
I wish for $100.
481
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,734
Gather 'round quick.
482
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:44,143
(latches opening,
all laughing excitedly)
483
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:52,752
(Edgar giggles)
484
00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:12,772
(jazz music playing,
people talking indistinctly)
485
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:16,443
(applause)
486
00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:18,578
Welcome, players.
487
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:21,814
You have traversed a great
and difficult distance.
488
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:23,450
Congratulations.
489
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:26,118
A night like no other awaits.
490
00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:27,354
JIMMY:
Thank you.
491
00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:30,256
My, it was an ordeal indeed.
492
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,524
I have so many questions!
493
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,632
Two rye Manhattans please.
494
00:21:39,666 --> 00:21:41,100
That'll be $42.
495
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:43,536
Oh, my God,
you got to be shitting me.
496
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:47,607
I'm sorry, Jimmy.
497
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,841
This place sucks.
498
00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:50,176
Speakeasies are lame.
499
00:21:50,209 --> 00:21:51,678
Well, I told you.
500
00:21:51,711 --> 00:21:53,680
But I found it for you.
501
00:21:53,713 --> 00:21:56,182
I beat them.
We wanted each other
to be happy.
502
00:21:56,215 --> 00:21:58,851
Pfft.
503
00:21:59,986 --> 00:22:01,954
(gasps)
Ah, there you are.
504
00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:03,990
Excellent work with the QR code.
505
00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:05,792
Let-let me ask you
about the, uh...
506
00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:07,560
masturbating homeless man.
Was he...
507
00:22:07,594 --> 00:22:09,629
Why didn't you want
to be with me today?
508
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:13,299
Paul, I can't pretend to be
509
00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:15,234
someone I think
you'd like anymore.
510
00:22:15,267 --> 00:22:18,170
If we have any chance,
I have to tell you what I want,
511
00:22:18,204 --> 00:22:20,072
and you have to decide if
you can live with it or not.
512
00:22:20,106 --> 00:22:23,309
All I've ever wanted
is the real Lindsay.
513
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:24,677
Tell me.
514
00:22:24,711 --> 00:22:26,178
Your wish is my...
515
00:22:26,212 --> 00:22:27,680
I want to bone other guys.
516
00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:31,317
Physically.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
517
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:33,252
(sing-songy):
No, no, no. Jimmy.
518
00:22:33,285 --> 00:22:35,888
What?
519
00:22:35,922 --> 00:22:37,490
You can't do that.
520
00:22:37,524 --> 00:22:39,225
That would break my heart.
No, Paul,
521
00:22:39,258 --> 00:22:41,260
it's for us.
522
00:22:41,293 --> 00:22:42,929
You can watch.
523
00:22:42,962 --> 00:22:44,263
I mean,
524
00:22:44,296 --> 00:22:45,898
I'd like you to watch.
525
00:22:45,932 --> 00:22:47,233
I want to be a family,
526
00:22:47,266 --> 00:22:49,235
but I also want to be happy.
527
00:22:49,268 --> 00:22:52,772
You want me to be happy, right?
528
00:22:56,609 --> 00:22:57,844
I consent.
529
00:22:57,877 --> 00:22:59,278
(gasps)
Yay!
530
00:22:59,311 --> 00:23:00,547
Mm!
531
00:23:00,580 --> 00:23:02,882
I love you so much.
532
00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:05,552
This is going to be
so good for us.
533
00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:09,355
(exhales, then soft chuckle)
534
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:11,591
Family.
535
00:23:11,624 --> 00:23:13,225
* Oh, it's right time...
536
00:23:13,259 --> 00:23:15,462
JIMMY:
Hello, hipster dorks
537
00:23:15,495 --> 00:23:16,796
(music stops)
of the speakeasy.
(man whoops)
538
00:23:16,829 --> 00:23:18,230
My name...
539
00:23:18,264 --> 00:23:20,867
is Jimmy Shive-Overly.
540
00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:23,436
And I'm gonna sing you a song!
541
00:23:25,972 --> 00:23:27,474
(jazz music plays)
542
00:23:27,507 --> 00:23:31,243
* Happy toes
543
00:23:31,277 --> 00:23:34,080
* Time to say good-bye to woes
544
00:23:34,113 --> 00:23:37,216
* Every Jack and Jill knows
545
00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:39,318
* She's the gal for me
546
00:23:41,187 --> 00:23:43,089
* Happy toes
547
00:23:43,122 --> 00:23:45,391
* Happiness I will impose
548
00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:47,293
* From New York
549
00:23:47,326 --> 00:23:48,895
* To Idahos
550
00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:52,932
* 'Cause I'm in L.O.V.E.
I'm in love *
551
00:23:52,965 --> 00:23:55,735
This is the last
Sunday Funday, isn't it?
552
00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:58,237
Oh, yeah.
* ...decompose
553
00:23:58,270 --> 00:24:00,740
* Smiles fell like dominoes
554
00:24:00,773 --> 00:24:05,344
* I've lost my gal
555
00:24:05,377 --> 00:24:08,314
* So if you see her,
tell her please *
556
00:24:08,347 --> 00:24:11,283
* That I am crawling
on my knees *
557
00:24:11,317 --> 00:24:12,919
* Happy times
558
00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:15,788
* Please return to me
559
00:24:15,822 --> 00:24:18,024
Yes, indeedy!
560
00:24:18,057 --> 00:24:20,960
* Happy toes,
from now on there's *
561
00:24:20,993 --> 00:24:22,428
* No more lows
562
00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:25,031
* With me and my gal
563
00:24:25,064 --> 00:24:29,301
* I'm on top of the world.
564
00:24:31,403 --> 00:24:34,373
(dog barks)
565
00:24:37,409 --> 00:24:39,411
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
37848
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof