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1
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,353
-Ghostbusters!
-Ghostbusters!
2
00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:29,232
Yeah!
3
00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:30,900
We did it, man!
4
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,655
-Be safe.
-You got it, man.
5
00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:37,365
-Have a great trip.
-Yeah.
6
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:39,659
When I'm done with probation,
I'm gonna come find you.
7
00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:41,577
I know you will.
8
00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,540
All right, I'm out of here.
9
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:49,085
One last thing.
10
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:51,546
-Remember this?
-My Indy compass.
11
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,589
-In case you get lost.
-Where'd you get this?
12
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,591
-And you will get lost.
-Yeah, I will get lost.
13
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:56,968
But it's half the fun.
14
00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:58,970
-Thanks, man.
-Be good.
15
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,890
-Take care of those two fools.
-Have fun.
16
00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:04,851
I will.
17
00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:06,936
Catch you around, boys!
18
00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:11,816
Bye, Billy!
19
00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:16,404
I wonder where he's gonna end up.
20
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,698
He's gonna do great things.
21
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:22,159
Don't worry.
We're all gonna do great things.
22
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:29,375
-Are you ready for Tom?
-I'm ready for Tom!
23
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,169
-Let's ride!
-Come on, baby!
24
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:35,256
Yeah!
25
00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:39,218
Angie! What was that?
26
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,554
Shit. I think it's Tony.
27
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:42,972
-Tony?
-Get your clothes on!
28
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:47,018
-What happened to "Tony's in China"?
-This is bad. Get your clothes on...
29
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,271
Hey, Tony.
30
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,857
You're home early, baby.
31
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:55,651
-Tony?
-What the hell's going on here?
32
00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:00,781
Tony, there's enough of me
to go around.
33
00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:04,285
I'm thinking about a Tom sandwich.
Light on the Tom.
34
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:14,045
Jerry here has the reworked formula,
so I'll pass the ball on to him.
35
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:15,671
You're on.
36
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,511
-Now?
-Now.
37
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,015
Right.
38
00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:43,741
Baby! You're home.
39
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,284
Hey.
40
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,455
How was the surf?
41
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,248
Someone's happy to see me.
42
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:54,502
Well, why wouldn't I be?
Especially tonight.
43
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:56,963
Wow.
44
00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:59,048
You outdid yourself.
45
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:02,760
Just seemed like the right night
to outdo oneself, so...
46
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,471
A Thursday?
47
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:08,474
Honey, don't you think
every night should be special?
48
00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:12,019
Yeah. Yes, every night
should be special, this is true.
49
00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:13,646
But, really,
50
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:17,984
specifically, there's always one night
a year that just seems right
51
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:21,070
for a celebration of a specific event.
52
00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:25,324
-Do you know what I'm saying?
-Absolutely.
53
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,993
I love dip.
54
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,619
It's our anniversary!
55
00:05:28,704 --> 00:05:32,581
Our first date!
How many hints do I need to give you?
56
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,210
I must be crazy.
57
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,672
A trip? Great call. Where we going?
58
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:43,175
I won't do it. I won't play the role
of nagging girlfriend anymore.
59
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:45,928
Would nagging wife make you happier?
60
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:52,018
Please tell me that was not
you proposing to me.
61
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,689
Jerry and Denise cannot get
to the phone right now,
62
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:58,774
because we're doing it!
63
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:02,319
Jerry, it's Mom.
If you're there, will you please pick up?
64
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:05,239
Hey, Mom. I can't really talk right now.
65
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,285
What?
66
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:25,760
Excuse me. Excuse me.
67
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:29,847
Excuse me, sir? Sir? Excuse me.
You're in my spot.
68
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,683
I don't see your name on it.
69
00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:36,020
Well, actually, yes, my name is on it.
See? Right there, Dr. Mott.
70
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:38,272
That's me. That's my space.
71
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,399
You got me.
72
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,152
But look at this, pal!
73
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,322
Now, your name's not on it!
74
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,656
Hey! What're you doing? Hey! Hey!
75
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:51,660
Hey, you get back. You get back.
I'm not afraid to use this!
76
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,287
Hey, don't!
77
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,917
-Have a good day, Doc.
-You, too.
78
00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:11,555
I'm Dr. Mott!
79
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,402
Good morning, Sandi. TGIF.
80
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:27,154
What's that, Dr. Mott?
81
00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:29,824
Thank goodness it's Friday.
Happy Friday.
82
00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:32,034
It's the weekend. Hurray.
83
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:34,870
Right.
84
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,376
"TGIF."
85
00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:44,130
That was great. So smart.
86
00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:48,092
Why don't you just ask her out,
you dumbass?
87
00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:49,718
It's Jerry Conlaine.
88
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,555
-He says it's very important.
-Okay.
89
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,308
-Hey, Jerry, how you doing? Long time.
-Hey, Dan.
90
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:02,940
Listen. There was an accident.
91
00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:05,276
Billy's dead.
92
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,363
-You're kidding.
-Yeah, he...
93
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,991
He was para-surfing
down in Costa Rica.
94
00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:16,620
So the funeral's this weekend.
It's... It's in Oregon.
95
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:19,665
-Yeah...
-I'm flying out in a couple of hours.
96
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:22,751
-Can you make it?
-Yeah, I'll be there.
97
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,851
Dano! Hey.
98
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:41,312
-Hey, Jerry.
-How's it going?
99
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,689
Man.
100
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:47,610
Oh, my God, is that Everest?
101
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:50,779
Yeah. You know Billy.
He wasn't afraid of anything.
102
00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:52,823
He did it all.
103
00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:54,950
Did you know he ran with the bulls?
104
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,535
He sent me a postcard from Spain.
105
00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:58,871
-Man, he did great things.
-He did.
106
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,706
I still want you.
107
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,543
Why did you leave me?
108
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:06,253
Billy.
109
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:10,216
Billy's dead and he's still got a better
chance of getting laid than I do.
110
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:17,306
"Leadeth me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
111
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,184
"I walk through the valley
of the shadow..."
112
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:21,310
What is that?
113
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,686
Tom's here.
114
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:26,315
"Yea, though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death, I will fear..."
115
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:37,117
Is this Billy's funeral?
116
00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:41,330
Is that the corpse of Billy Newwood?
117
00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:44,208
Jer, is that you?
118
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,921
You're with Dan?
119
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,548
-Where did you guys park?
-Tom!
120
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,635
Okay. Sorry.
121
00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:58,013
There was a hell of a fender-bender
coming in, and...
122
00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,598
-Please continue.
-I-5 was a parking lot.
123
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,016
-I'm so sorry.
-Anyway, I made it.
124
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,269
"Then the earth shook and trembled."
125
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:04,311
Sorry, Padre.
126
00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:05,521
"The foundations moved
and were shaken..."
127
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:06,897
My bad. Missed an exit.
128
00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:08,899
"...because he was wroth.
129
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:16,031
"He bowed the heavens also,
and came down: and darkness was..."
130
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,994
Did you notice how many hot chicks
were at that funeral?
131
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:24,039
No kidding! It was like a discotheque
with a coffin in the middle.
132
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,750
-Look at that.
-Holy...
133
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,961
Fort Cooper. Can you believe it?
134
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,838
God, I remember it being taller.
135
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:32,131
Wow.
136
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,970
There it is.
137
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,556
Race you to the top!
138
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:48,814
-Dano, come on up, buddy!
-Come on, Dan.
139
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,567
You guys are hammered!
I'm not climbing up a 20-year-old rope.
140
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,319
-That's crazy.
-Tommy, catch.
141
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:56,905
This whole thing seems
a little insane for us to be doing,
142
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,575
climbing with the possibility of...
143
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:05,331
-You all right, Dano?
-Come on, Dano, grab it.
144
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,416
-Give me the rope.
-Come on, Dan!
145
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:11,045
Use your tippy-toes. There you go.
146
00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,130
Cobweb. Look out.
147
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:19,136
-Oh, my God.
-How small is that door?
148
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,596
Kind of seems about the same, actually.
149
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:24,141
I hope I don't fall through
the floor of this thing.
150
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:27,019
Hey! What's up, B.A. Baracus?
151
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:29,688
Mr. T. How awesome is that?
152
00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:32,900
You guys. Oh, my gosh.
153
00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:37,196
-Look at this.
-Hey, that's our old flag.
154
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:41,116
-D.B. Cooper's treasure chest.
-Man, look at that thing.
155
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,369
-You remember this?
-Of course, yeah.
156
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:46,372
Cooper parachuted out of a plane
up north with a bunch of stolen cash.
157
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:47,790
Gosh, we were obsessed with that.
158
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,541
-Nationwide police hunt and...
-Right.
159
00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,710
-He was never found.
-Yeah, we were gonna sneak away,
160
00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:54,880
go up the river, all Huck Finn,
Apocalypse Now style.
161
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,924
Get the loot.
162
00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:59,426
I bet you we spent half our childhood
planning that trip.
163
00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:01,178
It's all Billy ever talked about.
164
00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:03,722
-Let's open it up.
-We have to break the lock.
165
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:06,308
-I'll break it.
-38-24-36.
166
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:09,436
-How do you know that?
-How do you possibly remember that?
167
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:14,400
Miss 1981, Julie McDonald.
38-24-36. Unforgettable.
168
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,402
Had a passion for cycling. Disliked liars.
169
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,028
You're right.
170
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:21,073
-What the...
-Do you believe it?
171
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:22,574
Man! Look at that.
172
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,410
The oath.
173
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:27,413
"We swear that these things
will remain in this box
174
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:30,332
"until we find D.B. Cooper's treasure."
175
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:33,252
Signed, a bunch of kids.
176
00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:36,171
Remember we pricked our fingers,
took a blood oath?
177
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:39,299
Dan, what's that next to your signature?
That's not blood.
178
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:42,219
It was earwax. I was afraid of needles.
179
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:46,223
Should we check out the priceless
treasures of our youth?
180
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:48,142
-C-3PO.
-C-3PO.
181
00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:49,852
I wonder who put that in.
182
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,562
Let me see that.
That's a collectible now.
183
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:54,398
-Yeah, right.
-My Brian Bosworth rookie card.
184
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,150
-The Boz.
-Man, I thought he was gonna be
185
00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:57,901
the greatest ever.
186
00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:00,237
"I've been in that box a very long time."
187
00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:02,656
Well, you're free now.
188
00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:05,784
And, Tom, I believe
this is your contribution.
189
00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:07,619
Oh, my God.
190
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:11,832
That's my first rubber. Boy.
191
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:16,253
I found this in my dad's pickup
right before he went to jail.
192
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:18,630
I remember he caught me with it.
193
00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:21,133
Boy, he smacked me right in the head.
194
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,427
What a charming father-and-son tale.
195
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,012
He was funny.
196
00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:28,807
-Hey, what did Billy put in there?
-Yeah, what does he got?
197
00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:30,684
His Indy compass.
198
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:33,687
I gave this to him before he took off
on his trip. He must've...
199
00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:35,105
I don't know, he must've put it back.
200
00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:38,984
Look at this. It's one of our mix tapes.
Remember we did the DJ intros?
201
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,736
Yeah, let's not Wang Chung tonight.
Burn that.
202
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,655
Wow. You guys, check out this map.
203
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:46,492
-Looks like Billy left us a treasure map.
-Look at that.
204
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:48,660
-Not only that...
-This map looks new.
205
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,704
He plotted out the whole trip.
206
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:54,750
Billy thought D.B. landed right here.
There's no way he did this as a kid.
207
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:58,003
He must've been adding to the box
over the years.
208
00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:01,798
This is the camping trip
he wanted us to take last summer.
209
00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:04,843
I... I couldn't go.
I was detained in Mexico.
210
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,888
And he wouldn't do it
unless we were all together.
211
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:12,643
I swear to God, I think he figured it out.
I mean, look at all this research.
212
00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:16,480
He reconstructed the jump.
He pinpointed D.B.'s landing.
213
00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:18,023
That's crazy.
214
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:22,110
My God.
215
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:26,490
I'm sorry, you guys, we made an oath.
216
00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:29,159
It all goes back in the box.
217
00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:32,162
It all goes back in the box
until we find the treasure.
218
00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:36,750
So let's go find it.
Let's... Let's take Billy's trip.
219
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:40,087
-Come on, guys, what do you say?
-I say, "Hell, yes."
220
00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,214
-Hell, yes! Right?
-We'll get a canoe.
221
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:43,549
-Right?
-No.
222
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:46,385
No. No, I'm...
223
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,095
-No.
-We're all going.
224
00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:50,430
-Listen, I wanna get a lot of rope.
-A rope's good.
225
00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:53,100
All right, I know you guys won't grasp
this concept,
226
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:55,394
but I have patients and...
227
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:56,520
Yeah, yeah. I have a Rambo knife.
228
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,730
I am a doctor now.
229
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:01,066
I am Dr. Mott now!
230
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:04,820
I have responsibilities.
231
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:11,660
Your responsibility is to come
treasure hunting with us.
232
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,580
We're 30.
233
00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:16,790
I mean, this might be the last chance
we have to do something
234
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:19,084
incredibly stupid together.
235
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,629
I agree.
236
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,674
For Billy, Dano.
237
00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:30,220
-Not fair.
-I think it's fair.
238
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:31,638
All right.
239
00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:34,308
Time to re-up on our oath, boys.
Fingers up.
240
00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:36,435
-Hey, put that away. Tom...
-I love the way you work.
241
00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:40,689
-You know who I'm talking to.
-There's no way I'm going. No chance!
242
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:44,234
No! You guys, no! Hey. Let go of me!
243
00:15:44,319 --> 00:15:45,444
Hey! No, no.
244
00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:46,862
No!
245
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,907
I hate you guys.
246
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:53,285
We hate you, too,
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
247
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,162
Hey! Hey! I agreed to come.
You said I could drive.
248
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:57,080
We drive by my rules. No kissing me.
249
00:15:57,165 --> 00:16:00,208
I cannot believe that Billy kept the Duke
in running shape all these years.
250
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,294
318 V8, man. They're bulletproof.
251
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:05,172
How about a little Fort Cooper classic?
252
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:08,425
This is Rocking Billy Newwood.
I'm here with fellow DJ's.
253
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,510
-Jazzy Jerry.
-Yeah!
254
00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:11,678
Gonzo Tommy.
255
00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:13,263
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
256
00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:15,932
-And Disco Dan.
-Burn, baby, burn!
257
00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:19,269
And we have a special dedication
by Dan's mom, entitled,
258
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:21,313
"I've had sex with Tom."
259
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:23,440
I totally did, though.
260
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:33,450
And usually, it's too late when you
261
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:34,660
Do you know the words?
262
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:36,870
Realize what you have
263
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:41,750
And my mind goes back
To a girl I left
264
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,710
Some years ago
265
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,837
Who told me
266
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:49,675
Just hold on loosely
267
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,260
But don't let go
268
00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:57,099
The boys together, the open road.
Good tunes, good times.
269
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,518
Good God!
Let's pull off memory highway.
270
00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:01,770
...always on
Till the break of dawn
271
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:04,856
C-O-M-P-T-O-N
And the city they call Long Beach
272
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,191
Putting that shit together
273
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:08,610
And if it's good enough
To take 'em off a proper chunk
274
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,862
I'll take a small piece
of some of that funky stuff
275
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:12,864
-It's like this and like that...
-...like that...
276
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:16,034
-How do you know all these words?
-He's a doctor.
277
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,912
Doctors study other doctors' work.
278
00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:21,248
-You're a secret Dr. Dre fan.
-God.
279
00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:22,791
-It's like this and like that
-Like this
280
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,460
-and like that...
-...and like that...
281
00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:34,678
-Well, this is a metropolis. Look at this.
-This place is very remote.
282
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:37,431
I wish I would've brought my dancing
shoes so we could go clubbing.
283
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:39,391
Maybe we should find out
where the nearest hospital is.
284
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:41,768
Let's stay at The Ritz. This is great.
285
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,023
-How are you?
-Hi.
286
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,367
Where are we?
287
00:17:57,452 --> 00:18:01,538
Corner of Bumfuck and
You Got a Purty Mouth.
288
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,582
Hey, I'm gonna make a call.
289
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:06,334
Wait, Jerry, you should
use my new cell phone.
290
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,670
It's a satellite phone,
so it works everywhere.
291
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:11,381
And it's got a camera and it's got
an address book and, listen,
292
00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:13,550
-it's even got a personalized ring.
-Nice.
293
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:16,511
You shouldn't be proud of that, Dan.
294
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:17,804
-Thanks.
-You're welcome.
295
00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:19,264
Well,
296
00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:22,267
I'm gonna go check out
the canoe situation.
297
00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:25,353
-You want anything?
-Good luck. No, I'm good.
298
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,440
Hello?
299
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:30,859
Denise. What are you doing home?
Hey.
300
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:33,236
Hi. Is everything all right?
301
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,030
You know.
302
00:18:35,198 --> 00:18:37,699
-It's as good as it can be.
-Where are you?
303
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,286
On the road.
304
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,580
Good. You're on your way home.
What time do you get in?
305
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:44,706
I can't wait to see you.
306
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,541
What you looking at, boy?
307
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:51,129
Here's the thing, the guys and I...
We're going on a treasure hunt.
308
00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:55,008
And I know that sounds dumb,
but it's something that we have to do
309
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:56,092
for Billy.
310
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,304
That doesn't sound dumb at all.
I completely understand.
311
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:02,599
-You do?
-Just call me when you get a chance.
312
00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:05,811
But I might be out of the house for a bit.
Yeah, because
313
00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:09,231
my girlfriends and I, we're gonna go
on a search for the lost city of Atlantis.
314
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:12,067
Maybe my treasure will help
buy your submarine.
315
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,319
-Maybe. Maybe it will.
-Take a picture.
316
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:15,779
-Hold on.
-I'm on the little guy's back.
317
00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:18,031
-Shut up.
-Go, take a picture.
318
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,199
That's good. That's good.
319
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:22,911
Hello?
320
00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:27,249
That did not sound like it went well.
321
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:32,671
Hiya, boys. Nice day.
Just passing through?
322
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:36,925
No. We're actually from UPS.
323
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:40,178
Looks like someone ordered
a set of teeth.
324
00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:43,932
-I beg your pardon?
-Taser guns. Dropping them off.
325
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,686
-Anyways...
-So, help me out here, boys.
326
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:49,479
Where was it you said you was headed?
327
00:19:49,564 --> 00:19:52,566
We're just taking a trip. Our old friend,
Billy, he made this map...
328
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:54,568
Quiet time. Quiet.
329
00:19:54,652 --> 00:19:59,489
We're just taking a day trip
up Spirit River, Your Honor.
330
00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:01,491
Pretty thick country up there.
331
00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:03,869
You make a couple mistakes up there,
you gone.
332
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:06,538
You know what, I think we'll be okay.
I was a Boy Scout.
333
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,540
Tom, you were a Boy Scout,
weren't you?
334
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:11,084
No. But I ate a Brownie once.
335
00:20:13,296 --> 00:20:16,089
You don't wanna play
on the big river, boys.
336
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:19,634
-Oh, no, we're not playing, we're...
-I got this. You listen to me.
337
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,720
I know a thing or two about rapid-riding
338
00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:24,890
'cause I was a white-water guide
in Northern California, NoCal.
339
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:28,393
Here's the thing. I know how to read
a river better than you can read a book.
340
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:30,186
-Just a little better.
-All right.
341
00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:33,064
-All right. So we're gonna get going?
-That's right.
342
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:36,318
-Yeah? Thank you, Sheriff.
-See you, Ray-Bans.
343
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:54,628
You think we got enough booze, Tom?
344
00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:57,756
Maybe you wanna hire a bartender
to come on the trip with us.
345
00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,592
What's a camping trip without beer?
346
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:04,095
Well, it's still a camping trip, actually,
just with less vomiting.
347
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:06,056
I hear you're a river guide.
348
00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:07,724
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
349
00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:09,768
Class IV, V?
350
00:21:11,854 --> 00:21:13,271
-Which is it?
-Why don't you try putting
351
00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:15,774
those numbers together? That's right.
352
00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:18,944
I've shot a class 45,
and I've never lost a man.
353
00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,363
Lie to me. I don't care.
354
00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:23,907
I'm not the one that's going to drown.
355
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:27,160
All right, fellas. Here we go. Attention.
356
00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:31,623
We christen you Duke II.
357
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:37,545
Thanks for breaking glass
where my kids play.
358
00:21:39,215 --> 00:21:40,632
Thanks, buddy.
359
00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:42,801
There's a transmitter in the canoe.
360
00:21:42,885 --> 00:21:46,346
That way, if you guys disappear,
at least we'll get our boat back.
361
00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:48,974
It's child's play, guy. We got it.
362
00:21:49,392 --> 00:21:51,601
-It's beautiful!
-This is the best.
363
00:21:51,686 --> 00:21:53,853
-I like it out here.
-This is Spirit River!
364
00:21:53,938 --> 00:21:56,022
Get you out of the doctor's office, Dano.
365
00:21:56,107 --> 00:21:57,315
-It's good to be outside.
-Yeah.
366
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,859
Get you away from that computer, Jer!
367
00:22:06,909 --> 00:22:09,077
-What kind of fish are those?
-That's brown trout.
368
00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:11,329
-That's big fish.
-Brown trout?
369
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:17,836
-Hey, look, a deer! Wow!
-That's cool.
370
00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:20,422
Right out there in the open.
371
00:22:24,135 --> 00:22:25,301
Hey...
372
00:22:42,987 --> 00:22:44,404
Cheers.
373
00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:46,865
The great outdoors!
374
00:22:46,949 --> 00:22:50,535
-Tom! You guys are spraying me!
-Give me a break,
375
00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:51,703
-I'm writing your name!
-Stop that!
376
00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:58,501
-Hey, don't, don't, don't!
-What, are you gonna melt?
377
00:22:58,586 --> 00:23:01,129
No, but this water is teeming
with microbes.
378
00:23:01,756 --> 00:23:02,922
Stop.
379
00:23:06,010 --> 00:23:08,428
They don't let losers in a splash fight!
380
00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:18,646
So this is Spirit River.
We take that to Widowmaker Bend.
381
00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:20,982
And then we hike the Devil's Staircase,
382
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:23,151
and that should lead us
to the top of Hellfire Ridge.
383
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:27,030
What's with all these satanic names?
Isn't there, like, a Fluffy Bunny Way?
384
00:23:27,114 --> 00:23:29,741
No, but there's
a Shut Up You Big Baby Ridge.
385
00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:31,534
Okay, just keep your eyes open
386
00:23:31,619 --> 00:23:33,912
-for our first day's marker.
-What's that?
387
00:23:33,996 --> 00:23:36,915
It's a rock formation called
Grandpa's Nose.
388
00:23:36,999 --> 00:23:38,500
Grandpa's Nose.
389
00:23:38,584 --> 00:23:40,710
Looking for Grandpa's Nose.
390
00:23:41,796 --> 00:23:44,339
I think I see it! It's right there.
391
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:46,758
Good work, Dan.
392
00:23:46,842 --> 00:23:49,677
Prepare to port.
I'm gonna drink some beer!
393
00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:52,680
I predict you'll be puking in that river
before the end of the night, Tom.
394
00:23:54,016 --> 00:23:55,475
Dry timber.
395
00:23:59,063 --> 00:24:02,315
Hi there, coalminer's daughter.
You want a hand?
396
00:24:02,399 --> 00:24:05,610
Or you can always try these fancy
new things called matches.
397
00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:07,654
I saw how to do this on
the Discovery Channel, okay?
398
00:24:07,738 --> 00:24:10,156
And I'm gonna do it. I got it covered.
399
00:24:10,241 --> 00:24:14,202
Oxygen in there...
Get that right combination...
400
00:24:22,878 --> 00:24:24,712
Stop, drop and roll!
401
00:24:27,591 --> 00:24:29,259
Why would you do that?
402
00:24:29,343 --> 00:24:32,053
I'm with my face right next to the...
And you blow...
403
00:24:32,138 --> 00:24:34,514
-Why would you do that?
-It's warm.
404
00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:36,808
It's a nice fire.
405
00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:39,644
Hey. We did it.
406
00:24:40,729 --> 00:24:42,313
I told you.
407
00:24:45,025 --> 00:24:48,736
Do you really want to hurt me?
408
00:24:49,780 --> 00:24:53,449
Do you really wanna hear this crap?
409
00:24:53,534 --> 00:24:55,827
Please. You liked this song
just as much as I did.
410
00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:58,621
When we were kids,
it didn't matter what the song was.
411
00:24:58,706 --> 00:25:01,499
We weren't wrapped up
in what was cool and uncool.
412
00:25:01,584 --> 00:25:03,585
We just listened to the music.
413
00:25:03,669 --> 00:25:07,297
It should be like that now.
Just listen to the song, man.
414
00:25:11,594 --> 00:25:14,345
Wow! This song is so uncool.
415
00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:18,600
-Well, I like it. It soothes me.
-Dan, what is wrong with you?
416
00:25:19,935 --> 00:25:21,644
I'm blessed with good taste.
417
00:25:21,729 --> 00:25:23,855
One day, you'll see
I've always been correct.
418
00:25:23,939 --> 00:25:28,610
Don't get cocky, 30-year-old Dr. Mott
with 46 years of school under his belt.
419
00:25:28,694 --> 00:25:32,071
Excuse me for getting an M.D.
and starting a successful practice.
420
00:25:32,156 --> 00:25:34,532
Well, excuse me.
I found a way to make 12 grand a month
421
00:25:34,617 --> 00:25:35,992
without having an M.D.
422
00:25:36,076 --> 00:25:37,911
Really? How do you do that?
423
00:25:37,995 --> 00:25:40,371
Yeah, what, are you running immigrants
over the border again, coyote?
424
00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:42,707
Those guys fell asleep in my truck.
425
00:25:42,791 --> 00:25:46,544
I thought I'd just gotten shitfaced
and bought a bunch of sombreros.
426
00:25:46,629 --> 00:25:49,547
I didn't know
there were dudes underneath.
427
00:25:49,632 --> 00:25:51,466
For real, though?
428
00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:56,471
Selling Harleys.
It's the greatest gig on the planet.
429
00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:58,640
Congrats. I'm happy for you.
430
00:25:58,724 --> 00:26:00,225
Seriously, though, you guys both sound
431
00:26:00,309 --> 00:26:02,685
-like you're doing great.
-Aren't you?
432
00:26:02,770 --> 00:26:06,564
I just don't know if I'm cut out for
the whole family-wife-kids thing.
433
00:26:06,649 --> 00:26:10,777
I would kill to have a woman at home
willing to have sex with me every night.
434
00:26:12,071 --> 00:26:15,323
And at work, I just sit in my office
and I think,
435
00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:17,951
"There's gotta be something better
out there." You know what I mean?
436
00:26:18,035 --> 00:26:21,329
-I thought you liked your job.
-I like to surf.
437
00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:26,417
Sitting out in the water.
Waiting for that perfect wave.
438
00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:33,549
And I also like being out here.
I like this, right now.
439
00:26:33,634 --> 00:26:37,720
The first time in months,
no worries, no responsibilities.
440
00:26:37,805 --> 00:26:39,889
Just living in the moment.
441
00:26:41,183 --> 00:26:43,518
Just like Billy did.
442
00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:47,313
Hey. Here's to Billy.
443
00:26:47,398 --> 00:26:49,107
-To our dead friend.
-Get them up.
444
00:26:49,191 --> 00:26:50,692
Tom.
445
00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:54,445
Hey, Dano, what ever happened
446
00:26:54,530 --> 00:26:56,364
between you and Cockeyed Katie,
anyway?
447
00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:58,116
You know, I don't appreciate
the name-calling.
448
00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,534
Katie was very attractive.
449
00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:01,828
It was a mutual separation.
450
00:27:01,912 --> 00:27:03,621
Yeah, between her eyes.
451
00:27:03,706 --> 00:27:06,499
That girl had not one,
but two wandering eyes.
452
00:27:07,293 --> 00:27:09,919
It was like her eyes were trying
to escape from her head.
453
00:27:10,004 --> 00:27:12,755
You know, Tom, I'm sorry she wasn't
up to your high standard of women.
454
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,133
No tattoos below the waist,
never worked as a carny.
455
00:27:15,217 --> 00:27:17,969
Name one girlfriend of mine
who worked as a carny.
456
00:27:18,053 --> 00:27:21,055
Jo Jo, the one who had
her downstairs pierced.
457
00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:22,932
Jo Jo. That's one.
458
00:27:23,017 --> 00:27:25,143
How do you know what she did
with her downstairs?
459
00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:26,394
She had that website,
460
00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:29,647
-JoJosDownstairs.com.
-That was a good one.
461
00:27:29,732 --> 00:27:31,816
All right, Dano, let's see
what you packed us for dinner.
462
00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:34,986
-What is this, astronaut food?
-No. It's a vitamin gel pack.
463
00:27:35,070 --> 00:27:36,321
It tastes like watermelon. It's very filling
464
00:27:36,405 --> 00:27:37,613
and it preserves well for camping.
465
00:27:37,698 --> 00:27:40,950
-It's leaking.
-I'm not an astronaut. I'm an American.
466
00:27:41,035 --> 00:27:44,245
And there's fresh salmon
in that river for the taking.
467
00:27:44,330 --> 00:27:47,749
-What?
-I'm eating salmon tonight.
468
00:27:47,833 --> 00:27:50,335
That's a great idea,
except we didn't bring any fishing gear.
469
00:27:50,419 --> 00:27:51,711
Don't need any.
470
00:27:53,380 --> 00:27:56,341
-We'll shine them.
-That would kill a fish.
471
00:27:56,425 --> 00:27:59,677
Shine the fish, old Cherokee trick.
472
00:27:59,762 --> 00:28:02,597
Yeah, I forgot the Cherokee
had been using the flashlight
473
00:28:02,681 --> 00:28:03,931
for thousands of years.
474
00:28:04,016 --> 00:28:05,933
No, didn't they pioneer the D battery?
475
00:28:06,018 --> 00:28:07,560
All right, suckers.
476
00:28:07,644 --> 00:28:10,688
Let's see who's eating salmon tonight
and who's eating crow.
477
00:28:10,773 --> 00:28:12,774
Why, do you have
a crow-catching trick, too?
478
00:28:12,858 --> 00:28:17,278
Yuk it up, astronauts.
They love figure eights.
479
00:28:17,363 --> 00:28:19,655
Hey, 100 grand and my left nut says
480
00:28:19,740 --> 00:28:22,158
the only thing you catch
out there is a cold.
481
00:28:22,242 --> 00:28:24,535
Got it! Grab it!
482
00:28:25,621 --> 00:28:27,455
What are you doing?
483
00:28:28,082 --> 00:28:30,041
-Fantastic.
-Can you do that again?
484
00:28:30,125 --> 00:28:33,086
You owe me 100 grand and the left nut.
485
00:28:33,170 --> 00:28:34,545
Are you gonna catch it
when I throw it up?
486
00:28:34,630 --> 00:28:36,506
-Yeah, yeah!
-Yeah, yeah, come on!
487
00:28:36,590 --> 00:28:40,426
I'm gonna have to use a distinct pattern
now. They got used to the figure eight.
488
00:28:42,721 --> 00:28:45,473
It's gonna be tough, but I'll focus.
489
00:28:46,809 --> 00:28:47,975
What the hell are you doing?
490
00:28:48,310 --> 00:28:51,771
I toss it, you grab it.
That's your part of the deal.
491
00:28:53,315 --> 00:28:54,816
What?
492
00:28:57,820 --> 00:29:00,196
-What are you doing?
-I'm taking off my shoes.
493
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,990
-Why?
-Because I run faster with no shoes.
494
00:29:03,075 --> 00:29:06,452
-You can't outrun that bear.
-I don't have to outrun the bear.
495
00:29:06,537 --> 00:29:08,246
I just have to outrun you.
496
00:29:08,330 --> 00:29:09,747
Stay calm.
497
00:29:09,832 --> 00:29:13,084
It's important that you don't
let them smell your fear.
498
00:29:13,168 --> 00:29:16,170
-Just follow my lead.
-What are you gonna do?
499
00:29:18,549 --> 00:29:21,467
It's a bear! We're all gonna die!
500
00:29:21,552 --> 00:29:23,177
Run!
501
00:29:23,262 --> 00:29:24,262
It's too fast!
502
00:29:25,264 --> 00:29:26,305
Go!
503
00:29:27,433 --> 00:29:28,433
Faster!
504
00:29:29,184 --> 00:29:30,518
Keep going!
505
00:29:43,157 --> 00:29:44,449
Get out!
506
00:29:44,533 --> 00:29:46,534
-Go away! Go!
-Get out!
507
00:29:50,706 --> 00:29:53,666
-Stay calm. Get in the fetal position.
-God.
508
00:29:54,418 --> 00:29:56,461
It won't bother you
if you're in the fetal position.
509
00:29:56,545 --> 00:29:57,837
Jer!
510
00:30:03,677 --> 00:30:07,054
-Nothing's gonna happen now.
-Is he gone? Is he gone?
511
00:30:07,139 --> 00:30:09,307
Abort the fetal position! It's not working!
512
00:30:09,391 --> 00:30:10,850
-It's not working!
-Run!
513
00:30:10,934 --> 00:30:12,560
No...
514
00:30:15,689 --> 00:30:17,940
The bear thinks Dan's her cub.
515
00:30:26,909 --> 00:30:28,743
What do we do now?
516
00:30:34,416 --> 00:30:38,211
Stay... Stay down.
Don't... Don't make eye contact.
517
00:30:40,005 --> 00:30:42,256
-Help me!
-Let's go.
518
00:30:42,341 --> 00:30:44,592
This is bad. This is really bad.
Do something.
519
00:30:44,676 --> 00:30:47,011
-Go first.
-No, you go first.
520
00:30:52,059 --> 00:30:53,100
What...
521
00:30:53,185 --> 00:30:55,645
Hey. Where's the bear?
522
00:31:09,743 --> 00:31:13,120
He's trying to fatten Dan up
so they can hibernate together.
523
00:31:20,796 --> 00:31:23,214
Chew it up and eat it.
524
00:31:24,258 --> 00:31:25,800
Eat it.
525
00:31:35,102 --> 00:31:37,436
-Stop pretending.
-Dan, you have to eat it.
526
00:31:37,521 --> 00:31:39,939
You have to actually eat it.
527
00:31:40,023 --> 00:31:42,441
-Okay.
-Bite.
528
00:31:44,111 --> 00:31:45,570
Eat it.
529
00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:01,752
It's delicious. Very good, thank you.
530
00:32:01,837 --> 00:32:03,921
Is there another one?
531
00:32:06,508 --> 00:32:09,927
That was good. That was real good.
532
00:32:12,681 --> 00:32:14,724
-Let's go.
-Okay.
533
00:32:18,854 --> 00:32:21,564
-Move, move, move!
-Up the tree.
534
00:32:21,648 --> 00:32:22,857
Go!
535
00:32:27,613 --> 00:32:30,531
-Your mom misses you.
-She's in my stuff.
536
00:32:31,241 --> 00:32:34,619
Hey, that's my phone.
She ate my phone.
537
00:32:36,038 --> 00:32:38,998
How long do you think
she'll keep looking for me?
538
00:32:39,082 --> 00:32:41,417
Hour, hour and a half, tops.
539
00:32:41,501 --> 00:32:45,087
Bears have very short attention spans.
I know a guy who trains them.
540
00:32:45,172 --> 00:32:46,172
Okay.
541
00:33:02,898 --> 00:33:04,482
What was that?
542
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:10,571
I don't know, but it scared away
our friend. Let's get out of here.
543
00:33:11,657 --> 00:33:14,575
What do you think could happen
if this thing went off right in the boat?
544
00:33:14,660 --> 00:33:16,827
-You think we'd die?
-I think you throw it right now.
545
00:33:16,912 --> 00:33:18,788
What if I toss it to you
and then you throw it?
546
00:33:18,872 --> 00:33:20,956
Elwood, throw it!
547
00:33:22,334 --> 00:33:24,001
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
548
00:33:24,086 --> 00:33:26,754
-Cue the insane hillbillies.
-What are these freaks doing?
549
00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:27,922
They're fishing.
550
00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:30,341
Why aren't they using
their flashlights, Tom?
551
00:33:30,425 --> 00:33:32,176
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
552
00:33:32,260 --> 00:33:33,511
This is exactly what you hear about
553
00:33:33,595 --> 00:33:35,846
when people go into the deep woods
in the middle of summertime.
554
00:33:35,931 --> 00:33:37,807
Aside from getting all sorts
of diseases and things,
555
00:33:37,891 --> 00:33:40,851
they just wind up being the victims
of some kind of unexpected man-rape.
556
00:33:40,936 --> 00:33:43,104
How you like me now, boy?
557
00:33:43,188 --> 00:33:46,399
-I don't like this...
-Quiet. Go, go.
558
00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:50,986
She ate everything.
Including my very expensive cell phone.
559
00:33:51,071 --> 00:33:54,532
All right, let's load up.
There's treasure in them hills.
560
00:33:54,616 --> 00:33:57,076
Wait a minute, you're not actually
considering continuing, are you?
561
00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:58,953
-Why not?
-Well, because I just...
562
00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:02,873
I got carried away by a bear. And then
we spent the night sleeping in a tree.
563
00:34:02,958 --> 00:34:06,711
Well, we got that out of the way.
Now we can get back on the river.
564
00:34:06,795 --> 00:34:09,046
There comes a time in every cub's life
565
00:34:09,131 --> 00:34:11,966
when he needs to strike out
and make it on his own.
566
00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:13,175
Fine.
567
00:34:13,260 --> 00:34:17,054
Fine. But I say we avoid them and we
launch around the bend there, okay?
568
00:34:17,139 --> 00:34:19,807
All right, all right. Heave-ho.
569
00:34:21,143 --> 00:34:24,520
They call this portage. Or "portage."
570
00:34:25,355 --> 00:34:29,066
-What's the map say, Jerry?
-You know, it's a map.
571
00:34:29,151 --> 00:34:31,986
It's gonna be... It's gonna be good.
572
00:34:32,738 --> 00:34:35,072
Jer, isn't the river supposed to fork?
573
00:34:35,157 --> 00:34:38,701
No. It just goes straight the whole way.
Straight shot.
574
00:34:38,785 --> 00:34:40,119
Are you sure?
575
00:34:40,203 --> 00:34:42,788
We are back in business, boys.
576
00:34:45,292 --> 00:34:49,170
All right. Let's rudder back.
Bring the tail out.
577
00:34:52,132 --> 00:34:56,427
-It's getting kind of rough, Tom.
-Not bad, I've been in much worse.
578
00:34:57,220 --> 00:34:58,971
Really?
579
00:34:59,055 --> 00:35:01,265
Not a good time to read a map, Jer.
580
00:35:01,850 --> 00:35:05,227
Guys, I wanna pull over.
I need to take some Dramamine...
581
00:35:05,312 --> 00:35:08,022
I got the stern.
Work the bow, work the bow, Jer.
582
00:35:08,106 --> 00:35:10,483
Guys, let's pull over.
583
00:35:10,567 --> 00:35:13,611
This is exactly what you'd expect.
We're doing great.
584
00:35:13,695 --> 00:35:16,155
Tom, guide us to the bank.
585
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:19,074
-Watch the current.
-Trees! Trees left!
586
00:35:24,122 --> 00:35:26,123
No problem.
That's typical river behavior.
587
00:35:26,208 --> 00:35:29,585
-Rocks! Rocks! Keep rowing!
-Tom, you're not guiding us right!
588
00:35:29,669 --> 00:35:31,796
I'm not having the fun you promised me!
589
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:33,631
Just keep rowing!
590
00:35:38,678 --> 00:35:40,262
-Follow my lead!
-Terrible!
591
00:35:40,347 --> 00:35:42,431
Same stroke, same stroke!
592
00:35:42,516 --> 00:35:43,974
-Tom?
-Yes?
593
00:35:44,059 --> 00:35:46,185
-It's getting big.
-No problem.
594
00:35:46,269 --> 00:35:48,020
Like, real big.
595
00:35:49,731 --> 00:35:51,816
-I'm in over my head!
-What?
596
00:35:51,900 --> 00:35:53,859
-Don't tell me that!
-I'm in over my head!
597
00:35:53,944 --> 00:35:55,319
Please don't tell me that!
598
00:35:55,403 --> 00:35:58,113
Forward! No, backstroke! Backstroke!
599
00:36:00,075 --> 00:36:01,992
Come on!
600
00:36:10,752 --> 00:36:12,169
Dano!
601
00:36:12,254 --> 00:36:13,546
Tom!
602
00:36:14,422 --> 00:36:15,673
Help!
603
00:36:19,427 --> 00:36:21,929
Jerry! Help!
604
00:36:24,432 --> 00:36:26,433
-Dan! I'm coming!
-Do you see me?
605
00:36:26,518 --> 00:36:28,894
-Dan!
-Jerry!
606
00:36:28,979 --> 00:36:31,438
-Dano!
-Throw it! Jer!
607
00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:33,107
Catch the rope!
608
00:36:34,317 --> 00:36:36,235
I got you! Dano!
609
00:36:42,450 --> 00:36:44,743
-Dan, come on, baby, I got you.
-Hypothermia!
610
00:36:44,828 --> 00:36:47,496
-I'm gonna get hypothermia!
-Come on!
611
00:36:49,165 --> 00:36:52,126
You all right? Hold on.
612
00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:54,712
-Tom! Tommy!
-Tom!
613
00:36:54,796 --> 00:36:56,630
In here, boys!
614
00:37:01,428 --> 00:37:03,095
We made it!
615
00:37:03,722 --> 00:37:06,056
That's how you go down the rapids!
616
00:37:06,141 --> 00:37:08,142
-All right, get in.
-Get up.
617
00:37:11,229 --> 00:37:14,523
-I about shit. Did you about shit?
-I about shit.
618
00:37:14,608 --> 00:37:16,442
-I did shit.
-Oh, shit.
619
00:37:16,526 --> 00:37:19,403
-Oh, shit? What "oh, shit"?
-What? What, what?
620
00:37:20,405 --> 00:37:24,325
-Oh, shit!
-Oh, shit!
621
00:37:33,668 --> 00:37:35,836
I don't believe this.
622
00:37:39,424 --> 00:37:40,883
Tom,
623
00:37:40,967 --> 00:37:43,928
-where were you a river guide?
-San Dimas.
624
00:37:44,012 --> 00:37:46,180
-Raging Waters?
-Yeah.
625
00:37:46,264 --> 00:37:47,681
They had some
serious rapids there, man.
626
00:37:47,766 --> 00:37:50,976
-What, class toddler?
-Hey, I was employee of the month
627
00:37:51,061 --> 00:37:52,561
at the Monsoon Lagoon.
628
00:37:52,646 --> 00:37:54,063
-I knew you were lying.
-Great.
629
00:37:54,147 --> 00:37:55,856
-You did?
-I knew it.
630
00:37:55,941 --> 00:37:58,567
Well, you're the reason
that we had to launch the boat
631
00:37:58,652 --> 00:37:59,693
in the wrong part of the river.
632
00:37:59,778 --> 00:38:02,029
Hey, I am not the navigator-map guy.
633
00:38:02,113 --> 00:38:05,240
Okay, Jerry, didn't you see on the map
that the river split?
634
00:38:05,325 --> 00:38:09,328
I would've, if your friend,
the big-ass bear, didn't eat the map.
635
00:38:09,412 --> 00:38:11,372
Hold on a sec. Tom?
636
00:38:11,456 --> 00:38:12,998
Were you really employee of the month?
637
00:38:13,083 --> 00:38:16,543
No. I lied about that, too.
638
00:38:16,628 --> 00:38:19,296
I must have been crazy. I...
639
00:38:19,381 --> 00:38:23,133
All right. This trip is officially over.
This is finished! Let's...
640
00:38:23,218 --> 00:38:26,387
-Let's just go home.
-I agree. That's a great decision.
641
00:38:26,471 --> 00:38:29,640
All we gotta do is jump up over
that 100-foot waterfall,
642
00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:32,393
swim upstream 20 miles,
get the sheriff on the phone,
643
00:38:32,477 --> 00:38:35,521
he liked us, I remember,
and he'll send out a rescue boat. And...
644
00:38:35,605 --> 00:38:38,816
Hey, there's a beer in the river. Cool.
645
00:38:38,900 --> 00:38:41,026
Look at this, it's cold.
646
00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:44,822
We are in serious trouble, my friends.
647
00:38:44,906 --> 00:38:47,658
All data points to us being...
How do you humans say it?
648
00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:49,201
Completely screwed?
649
00:38:49,285 --> 00:38:52,121
Yeah. You know, that is...
That's a good way to say it.
650
00:38:52,205 --> 00:38:53,998
I mean, it pretty much sums it up.
651
00:38:54,082 --> 00:38:55,582
I suspect Tom is drunk.
652
00:38:55,667 --> 00:38:57,167
I didn't wanna say anything because
653
00:38:57,252 --> 00:38:58,335
-he's such a live wire...
-You guys, we're fine.
654
00:38:58,420 --> 00:39:01,171
We got the compass.
I've got Billy's compass!
655
00:39:01,256 --> 00:39:04,341
-Look, that's east, west, north.
-East...
656
00:39:04,426 --> 00:39:06,343
-That's south.
-That's south! That's south!
657
00:39:06,428 --> 00:39:07,970
That's great!
658
00:39:08,638 --> 00:39:10,347
-What?
-Sorry.
659
00:39:10,432 --> 00:39:12,224
It only works with the map.
660
00:39:12,434 --> 00:39:14,643
So you're saying you lost the map?
You don't have it?
661
00:39:14,728 --> 00:39:16,687
No. I'm saying I forgot to hold on to it
662
00:39:16,771 --> 00:39:19,857
while my ass was free-falling
over a 100-foot waterfall.
663
00:39:19,941 --> 00:39:21,817
So you don't have it?
664
00:39:23,611 --> 00:39:25,612
Hey, do you hear that?
665
00:39:26,114 --> 00:39:29,158
-Hell, yeah.
-Hey, that sounds like Creed.
666
00:39:29,242 --> 00:39:33,120
I never thought I'd be happy to hear
anything that sounds like Creed.
667
00:39:37,125 --> 00:39:38,667
Lights.
668
00:39:41,463 --> 00:39:43,881
Thank you, God. Civilization.
669
00:39:43,965 --> 00:39:45,716
-Look at that.
-They have a fire.
670
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:49,636
-You think they're cooking food?
-I hope so. I am starving.
671
00:39:54,684 --> 00:39:57,728
-Damn it, Elwood. This blade is dull.
-Ain't my fault.
672
00:39:59,814 --> 00:40:01,607
-See how I popped off that fish head?
-What is it?
673
00:40:01,691 --> 00:40:03,734
I told you not to use my Buck knife.
674
00:40:03,818 --> 00:40:06,278
How you like me now, fish?
675
00:40:06,362 --> 00:40:09,323
You ain't so tough without a head, huh?
676
00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:11,784
What's that? You can't hear me?
677
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:13,577
That's right, 'cause you don't have ears,
678
00:40:13,661 --> 00:40:16,580
'cause you don't have a head,
'cause I cut it off!
679
00:40:18,291 --> 00:40:21,043
Okay, that's... I mean,
that's a little weird, right?
680
00:40:21,127 --> 00:40:24,671
-We should get out of here.
-Listen, I say we just try talking...
681
00:40:25,507 --> 00:40:26,882
Shut it.
682
00:40:27,509 --> 00:40:29,426
What the hell was that?
683
00:40:32,180 --> 00:40:34,056
-Is that a gun?
-That's a gun.
684
00:40:49,322 --> 00:40:51,323
Must've been a possum.
685
00:40:51,407 --> 00:40:53,283
Boll weevil.
686
00:40:54,119 --> 00:40:58,122
-Guns and fish heads...
-It's okay, Dano, relax.
687
00:40:58,206 --> 00:41:01,792
We'll just lay low.
We'll get out of here in a second.
688
00:41:01,876 --> 00:41:03,418
-Hey.
-Yeah?
689
00:41:03,503 --> 00:41:07,589
-These guys are pot farmers.
-What? How do you know that?
690
00:41:13,721 --> 00:41:15,848
Oh, boy. We should go.
691
00:41:18,268 --> 00:41:20,561
Lynyrd. Skynyrd. Come here.
692
00:41:26,192 --> 00:41:28,360
Don't you go spoil them dogs.
693
00:41:28,444 --> 00:41:31,071
Lots of vitamins in these fish heads.
694
00:41:31,781 --> 00:41:35,534
Look at that. Skynyrd likes fish heads
almost as much as you do.
695
00:41:35,618 --> 00:41:37,494
Do you think they saw us?
696
00:41:37,579 --> 00:41:39,746
No, I don't.
697
00:41:44,169 --> 00:41:46,003
-What are you doing?
-What?
698
00:41:46,087 --> 00:41:47,880
I'll write you a prescription. Let's go.
699
00:41:47,964 --> 00:41:49,798
-Come on.
-All right.
700
00:41:59,100 --> 00:42:00,893
On my go. Ready?
701
00:42:06,774 --> 00:42:08,942
Go, go, back here. Come on.
702
00:42:12,572 --> 00:42:16,325
Hey, guys.
Listen. We don't want any trouble.
703
00:42:16,409 --> 00:42:19,870
We just got lost on the river, you know?
704
00:42:19,954 --> 00:42:22,873
-Hey, can we use your phone?
-Of course.
705
00:42:22,957 --> 00:42:24,958
And... Who cares, you know?
706
00:42:31,799 --> 00:42:35,177
-Let's go through there.
-Where? There's no door.
707
00:42:39,224 --> 00:42:42,309
-Lynyrd, Skynyrd! Get them!
-Come on, Dano.
708
00:42:43,728 --> 00:42:45,771
-Good work, buddy.
-Thanks.
709
00:42:45,855 --> 00:42:48,148
-Let's go.
-Come on, Dano.
710
00:42:49,150 --> 00:42:50,734
Come on!
711
00:42:50,818 --> 00:42:52,694
Go, go, go! This way!
712
00:42:58,660 --> 00:43:00,077
What did you do?
713
00:43:00,161 --> 00:43:02,663
Flares! Why are there flares?
714
00:43:04,624 --> 00:43:07,000
Great mother of ganja.
715
00:43:07,877 --> 00:43:09,753
Come on! I see them! I got them!
716
00:43:09,837 --> 00:43:12,714
-Hey, boys, come back here.
-We ain't gonna hurt you, boys!
717
00:43:12,799 --> 00:43:16,593
-We just wanna talk to you.
-There they are. Right there!
718
00:43:16,678 --> 00:43:20,013
Damn it, you head to the left,
and I'll cut them off.
719
00:43:21,057 --> 00:43:23,058
-Go, go, go!
-They're shooting!
720
00:43:23,893 --> 00:43:26,228
I think I got them, Dennis!
721
00:43:26,771 --> 00:43:28,605
They're shooting at us! Run!
722
00:43:29,274 --> 00:43:31,900
Come on, Dennis, I'm gonna get them!
723
00:43:32,527 --> 00:43:33,527
Just keep going!
724
00:43:40,702 --> 00:43:43,036
Damn it! I can't see nothing
through this smoke!
725
00:43:43,121 --> 00:43:45,914
-We're dead. We're dead!
-We're dead!
726
00:43:47,375 --> 00:43:50,711
-We're dead!
-They're gonna... They're gonna...
727
00:43:55,425 --> 00:43:56,842
We're gonna die!
728
00:43:58,761 --> 00:44:01,513
You set the security flares
too close, Elwood.
729
00:44:01,597 --> 00:44:03,682
The whole damn field's on fire.
730
00:44:03,766 --> 00:44:06,393
Where the hell are the damn dogs?
731
00:44:09,314 --> 00:44:10,314
You guys gotta promise me that
732
00:44:10,398 --> 00:44:11,940
you'll never tell my patients
that I got stoned,
733
00:44:12,025 --> 00:44:14,818
because if they found out I got stoned,
they'll think that I'm a stoner.
734
00:44:14,902 --> 00:44:16,903
The next thing you know,
I won't have a license anymore.
735
00:44:16,988 --> 00:44:19,823
And they'll take away all my instruments
and my coat and my office,
736
00:44:19,907 --> 00:44:21,992
and I won't have
a parking space anymore.
737
00:44:22,076 --> 00:44:25,370
I just don't wanna lose all my stuff.
I lost my legs...
738
00:44:31,669 --> 00:44:34,504
Great. We got us
a couple of weed freaks.
739
00:44:34,589 --> 00:44:37,132
What the hell are they looking at?
740
00:44:37,925 --> 00:44:40,052
Get up, you stoner dogs!
741
00:44:42,055 --> 00:44:43,513
Get up. Get up.
742
00:44:43,598 --> 00:44:46,183
You gotta move your legs.
Move your legs.
743
00:44:46,851 --> 00:44:48,852
I think I see them.
744
00:44:48,936 --> 00:44:51,438
They got laser scopes.
They had you pinned.
745
00:44:52,190 --> 00:44:53,398
Dudes.
746
00:44:53,941 --> 00:44:56,777
Dudes, dudes. Seriously. Seriously.
747
00:44:57,362 --> 00:45:01,907
I will give you four cows
for Denise's hand in marriage.
748
00:45:04,243 --> 00:45:06,620
I'll give them something to laugh about.
749
00:45:20,468 --> 00:45:21,968
Matrix.
750
00:45:24,722 --> 00:45:26,515
My back.
751
00:45:26,599 --> 00:45:28,183
Cut them off at the river.
752
00:45:28,267 --> 00:45:30,227
Jerry, Jerry.
753
00:45:31,312 --> 00:45:33,939
Billy! Jesus, Billy!
754
00:45:34,816 --> 00:45:37,734
-I miss you.
-You gonna find D.B.'s treasure?
755
00:45:37,819 --> 00:45:39,861
I'm just trying to make it
out of here alive.
756
00:45:39,946 --> 00:45:43,865
Don't give up. Keep looking.
Hey, is it cool to be a grown-up?
757
00:45:43,950 --> 00:45:45,367
Not really, my man.
758
00:45:45,451 --> 00:45:48,078
Stop! Stop! You're gonna run into...
759
00:45:53,209 --> 00:45:54,835
We can't outrun them. We gotta hide.
760
00:45:54,919 --> 00:45:57,212
-Quick, hide.
-How? How?
761
00:45:57,296 --> 00:45:58,880
Let's get them!
762
00:46:02,468 --> 00:46:06,138
Man, our whole crop is burning!
Those assholes are dead!
763
00:46:06,514 --> 00:46:08,598
And the bodies that are attached
to them are dead, too!
764
00:46:08,683 --> 00:46:10,809
Dead! D-E-A-D! Dead!
765
00:46:10,893 --> 00:46:14,729
-Assholes! A-S-S-H-O...
-Stop spelling!
766
00:46:14,814 --> 00:46:17,607
-Come on, you're dead!
-We're gonna get you!
767
00:46:17,692 --> 00:46:21,695
-You can only run so far!
-And you can never hide!
768
00:46:36,127 --> 00:46:39,171
-Bullfrogs.
-I hate bullfrogs. They're nasty.
769
00:46:42,550 --> 00:46:44,551
Don't waste the ammo.
770
00:46:44,635 --> 00:46:48,013
Come on, they must've headed up
towards the river.
771
00:46:55,730 --> 00:46:58,732
-It crawled straight in my stomach.
-Let's go.
772
00:46:58,816 --> 00:47:01,735
I think it laid its eggs in my stomach.
773
00:47:09,744 --> 00:47:11,077
You think they're still following us?
774
00:47:11,162 --> 00:47:14,456
I don't wanna stop and find out.
Just keep going.
775
00:47:15,583 --> 00:47:19,002
It's not all burnt.
I think we're gonna be okay.
776
00:47:19,086 --> 00:47:20,420
-You think?
-Yeah.
777
00:47:20,505 --> 00:47:22,589
-You think?
-Yeah.
778
00:47:23,549 --> 00:47:28,136
Damn it. It's all burnt. Now, I knew it,
Dennis. It's all burnt. Every bit.
779
00:47:28,221 --> 00:47:29,679
-They burned it.
-Oh, yeah.
780
00:47:29,764 --> 00:47:31,181
-Believe it.
-It's all burnt.
781
00:47:31,265 --> 00:47:34,851
The whole damn field is burnt.
But we got a bigger problem, Elwood!
782
00:47:34,936 --> 00:47:38,021
We got three bona fide yuppies
out there,
783
00:47:38,105 --> 00:47:40,941
lost somewhere,
and we gotta track them.
784
00:47:41,025 --> 00:47:43,902
We gotta catch them
and we gotta kill them.
785
00:47:44,570 --> 00:47:48,448
I think we can slow down.
I haven't heard dogs or guns for hours.
786
00:47:48,533 --> 00:47:51,117
Yeah? You slow down,
get a stick of dynamite up your ass.
787
00:47:51,202 --> 00:47:54,329
Calm down, Daniel,
we're gonna be all right.
788
00:47:54,413 --> 00:47:58,041
No, we're not, Jerry.
We could really die out here.
56986
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