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1
00:00:05,209 --> 00:00:09,159
Oh, Val, I am sitting on
a secret for over a week now
2
00:00:09,193 --> 00:00:12,543
and I cannot tell a living soul.
3
00:00:13,243 --> 00:00:14,226
[sighs]
4
00:00:20,243 --> 00:00:22,426
-Good cake.
-Niles and Ms. Babcock
are having an affair.
5
00:00:22,459 --> 00:00:24,543
[gasps]
6
00:00:24,873 --> 00:00:26,393
-With who?
-With each other.
7
00:00:28,209 --> 00:00:29,343
So where are they now?
8
00:00:29,376 --> 00:00:31,443
Well, he was called out of town
9
00:00:31,476 --> 00:00:33,326
for this big family reunion
in London
10
00:00:33,359 --> 00:00:36,176
and she said she'd take him
to the airport in the limo.
11
00:00:36,209 --> 00:00:37,359
In the back,
12
00:00:37,393 --> 00:00:39,459
because all of a sudden
she was in need
13
00:00:39,493 --> 00:00:42,393
of duty-free L'air Du Temps.
14
00:00:51,043 --> 00:00:52,193
Hello, hello.
15
00:00:54,703 --> 00:00:56,409
-Hi, Ms. Babcock.
-Hi, Ms. Babcock.
16
00:01:01,203 --> 00:01:03,873
Um, Ms. Babcock,
17
00:01:03,159 --> 00:01:05,393
did Niles get off okay?
18
00:01:11,193 --> 00:01:12,176
Yes.
19
00:01:14,343 --> 00:01:16,426
Oh, Nanny Fine,
would you please tell Maxwell
20
00:01:16,459 --> 00:01:19,443
that there's a crack in
the privacy glass in the limo.
21
00:01:19,476 --> 00:01:22,293
It looks to me
like someone's heel
went through it.
22
00:01:29,193 --> 00:01:31,326
Oy, the limo.
23
00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:33,359
Oh, I feel so bad
for Ms. Babcock.
24
00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:36,326
These are the moments
that you wanna share
with someone close to you.
25
00:01:36,359 --> 00:01:38,226
-Yeah.
-You know, like your mother.
26
00:01:39,703 --> 00:01:40,476
Ma.
27
00:01:46,393 --> 00:01:48,259
Maggie, I have something
to tell you.
28
00:01:49,393 --> 00:01:51,359
I got that modeling campaign
in Japan.
29
00:01:51,393 --> 00:01:53,476
Oh, congratulations.
30
00:01:58,209 --> 00:02:00,476
What I'm about to say
your parents aren't gonna like.
31
00:02:04,259 --> 00:02:06,176
But I have to leave
in less than five days
32
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:07,509
and I can't stand
the thought of us
33
00:02:08,043 --> 00:02:09,293
being apart for a whole year.
34
00:02:10,309 --> 00:02:11,343
So, Maggie...
35
00:02:12,359 --> 00:02:13,493
will you marry me?
36
00:02:14,043 --> 00:02:15,209
-Yes!
-No!
37
00:02:17,276 --> 00:02:20,703
[theme song playing]
38
00:02:20,143 --> 00:02:22,393
♪She was workingIn a bridal shopIn Flushing, Queens
39
00:02:22,426 --> 00:02:24,259
♪Till her boyfriendKicked her out
40
00:02:24,293 --> 00:02:26,373
♪In one of thoseCrushing scenes
41
00:02:26,703 --> 00:02:28,203
♪What was she to do?Where was she to go?
42
00:02:28,543 --> 00:02:30,359
♪She was out on her fanny
43
00:02:30,393 --> 00:02:33,409
♪So over the bridgeFrom FlushingTo the Sheffield's door
44
00:02:33,443 --> 00:02:36,159
♪She was there to sell make-upBut the father saw more
45
00:02:36,193 --> 00:02:38,243
♪She had style! She hadflair!She was there!
46
00:02:38,276 --> 00:02:41,526
♪That's how she becameThe Nanny
47
00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:45,043
♪Who would have guessedThat the girl we described
48
00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:46,426
♪Was just exactlyWhat the doctorprescribed?
49
00:02:46,459 --> 00:02:48,376
♪Now, the fatherFinds her beguiling
50
00:02:48,409 --> 00:02:49,509
♪Watch out C.C.!
51
00:02:50,043 --> 00:02:51,243
♪And the kidsAre actually smiling
52
00:02:51,276 --> 00:02:52,309
♪Such joie de vivre
53
00:02:52,343 --> 00:02:53,526
♪She's the lady in red
54
00:02:54,203 --> 00:02:57,043
♪When everybody elseIs wearing tan
55
00:02:58,259 --> 00:03:00,176
♪The flashy girlFrom Flushing
56
00:03:00,209 --> 00:03:01,326
♪The Nanny named Fran!
57
00:03:04,176 --> 00:03:06,509
This boy just asked my daughter
to marry him.
58
00:03:07,043 --> 00:03:08,226
What do you mean "yes"?
59
00:03:08,259 --> 00:03:10,159
Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie.
60
00:03:10,193 --> 00:03:12,209
I didn't mean to say yes
before you.
61
00:03:12,243 --> 00:03:14,703
It's just that it's in my DNA.
62
00:03:14,143 --> 00:03:18,159
I hear a marriage proposal,
I have to accept.
63
00:03:18,193 --> 00:03:21,276
Look, Margaret is entirely
too young to get married.
64
00:03:21,309 --> 00:03:25,873
Why? I was just about her age
when we got married.
65
00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:33,276
Well, all right,
I should have been her age
when we got married.
66
00:03:33,309 --> 00:03:36,193
Excuse me, but this is
a very important moment
in my life.
67
00:03:36,226 --> 00:03:37,309
Could we have privacy?
68
00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:38,476
-No.
-Yes.
69
00:03:39,343 --> 00:03:41,873
Fine.
70
00:03:41,159 --> 00:03:43,276
I love you, Michael,
and I would love to marry you.
71
00:03:43,309 --> 00:03:44,409
Oh, my God.
72
00:03:44,443 --> 00:03:47,259
-Oh, my God.
-What's wrong?
73
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:49,493
Come see the ring my son-in-law,
the Jewish model,
74
00:03:49,526 --> 00:03:50,526
gave my daughter.
75
00:03:51,203 --> 00:03:52,209
Oh, my God.
76
00:03:52,243 --> 00:03:54,209
No one's getting married.
77
00:03:54,243 --> 00:03:56,543
You're getting married?
78
00:03:56,873 --> 00:04:00,276
Oy, I have never been this thin
in a wedding photo before.
79
00:04:01,343 --> 00:04:04,203
How fast can you do it?
80
00:04:04,543 --> 00:04:07,543
We got five days
to plan the wedding.
81
00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:09,326
There is no wedding.
82
00:04:09,359 --> 00:04:14,203
Are ostrich feathers
politically correct after dark?
83
00:04:14,543 --> 00:04:15,409
-Excuse me.
-Oh, look at that ring.
84
00:04:15,443 --> 00:04:18,493
-We have to get dresses.
-I don't wanna sit
next to her cousin.
85
00:04:18,526 --> 00:04:20,326
Excuse me.
86
00:04:21,476 --> 00:04:23,393
I haven't finished here.
87
00:04:23,426 --> 00:04:27,043
Oh, sorry, honey. Keep talking.
We're listening.
88
00:04:27,373 --> 00:04:29,043
-What--
-I think that we should have
89
00:04:29,373 --> 00:04:31,243
a make-your-own
Belgian waffle bar.
90
00:04:31,276 --> 00:04:33,703
-Is that perfect?
-Ooh!
91
00:04:33,143 --> 00:04:34,493
What are you talking about?
92
00:04:34,526 --> 00:04:38,143
There isn't gonna be a wedding.
Will you come back here
and discuss this?
93
00:04:38,176 --> 00:04:40,176
Where are you going?
Get back here.
94
00:04:40,209 --> 00:04:42,373
I have not finished with this.
95
00:04:43,226 --> 00:04:45,373
What's all the noise about?
96
00:04:45,703 --> 00:04:48,043
I'm marrying your sister.
But actually, Fran said yes
97
00:04:48,373 --> 00:04:49,509
and your grandmother left
with the ring on,
98
00:04:50,043 --> 00:04:52,193
and no one's letting
your father talk.
99
00:04:54,276 --> 00:04:56,309
Welcome to the mishpachah, bro.
100
00:04:56,343 --> 00:04:59,326
[music playing]
101
00:05:02,309 --> 00:05:06,176
Margaret, you haven't even been
seeing this boy for a year.
102
00:05:06,209 --> 00:05:09,476
How about a cupid fountain
that pees mimosa?
103
00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:11,143
Ooh!
104
00:05:11,176 --> 00:05:14,543
Oh, the Schwartzburgs
had that at the bris.
105
00:05:14,873 --> 00:05:15,309
It was very unique.
106
00:05:16,873 --> 00:05:17,443
[sighs]
107
00:05:17,476 --> 00:05:20,359
-I need some air.
-You know, that doesn't work.
Give it here.
108
00:05:20,393 --> 00:05:22,209
Dad, I don't understand.
109
00:05:22,243 --> 00:05:25,373
First you're upset
because Michael and I
wanna move in together
110
00:05:25,703 --> 00:05:27,209
and then you're upset
because we wanna get married?
111
00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:28,343
Excuse me.
112
00:05:28,376 --> 00:05:30,209
-Val?
-Uh-huh.
113
00:05:30,243 --> 00:05:31,443
I'm a little bit nauseous.
114
00:05:31,476 --> 00:05:34,543
Do you have any
soda crackers or anything?
115
00:05:34,873 --> 00:05:37,193
Well, I got some Cap'n Crunch
in the glove compartment.
116
00:05:37,226 --> 00:05:39,326
-Honey, could you get some?
-Oh, here, use this.
117
00:05:39,359 --> 00:05:42,543
-I thought you said
it didn't work.
-On the window,
118
00:05:42,873 --> 00:05:44,293
but it's perfect to pry open
the glove compartment.
119
00:05:46,176 --> 00:05:48,476
How about a caricaturist
for the wedding?
120
00:05:48,509 --> 00:05:50,376
Oh, that's so tacky, Ma.
121
00:05:50,409 --> 00:05:53,276
Can we just stick with
the cupid peeing?
122
00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:56,159
Well, I'm sorry, but I don't see
a box of Cap'n Crunch in here.
123
00:05:56,193 --> 00:05:58,873
Oh, no, they're not in a box.
They're loose.
124
00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:03,159
Here. Take these.
125
00:06:03,193 --> 00:06:06,373
Now, I've had enough.
I am the head of this household.
126
00:06:06,703 --> 00:06:09,203
And as such,
I have a say in the future
of my eldest daughter.
127
00:06:09,543 --> 00:06:10,459
This will not be rushed into.
128
00:06:10,493 --> 00:06:14,409
There will be no wedding.
End of discussion.
129
00:06:14,443 --> 00:06:18,476
Oh, you are going to make
such a beautiful bride.
130
00:06:21,293 --> 00:06:26,703
This is a knockoff of the dress
Melissa Rivers almost bought.
131
00:06:26,143 --> 00:06:28,373
[together] Ooh!
132
00:06:29,193 --> 00:06:31,359
Oh, Fran, what are we gonna do
about Daddy?
133
00:06:31,393 --> 00:06:34,543
He was so upset when Val
dropped him off at the theater.
134
00:06:34,873 --> 00:06:35,309
Oh, sweetie.
135
00:06:35,343 --> 00:06:37,493
It's been my experience
with your father
136
00:06:37,526 --> 00:06:39,409
that he just needs time
to think about it
137
00:06:39,443 --> 00:06:41,443
and then he changes his mind.
138
00:06:41,476 --> 00:06:43,493
Fathers are always devastated
139
00:06:43,526 --> 00:06:45,426
when their little girls
get married.
140
00:06:45,459 --> 00:06:47,343
But your father was happy.
141
00:06:47,376 --> 00:06:49,259
I said little girls.
142
00:06:52,376 --> 00:06:53,393
[sighs]
143
00:06:53,426 --> 00:06:55,043
-Fran?
-Yeah?
144
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:58,393
I remember the first time
you brought Maggie in.
145
00:06:58,426 --> 00:07:01,493
You were just the nanny
and I was working here
behind the counter.
146
00:07:01,526 --> 00:07:04,226
-Yeah.
-Now you're married,
147
00:07:04,259 --> 00:07:06,343
you got a whole family
148
00:07:06,376 --> 00:07:08,426
and I work at a doughnut shop
149
00:07:08,459 --> 00:07:11,243
six blocks closer
to the bus stop.
150
00:07:13,243 --> 00:07:15,309
When you wish upon a star.
151
00:07:20,409 --> 00:07:23,209
It's so fancy.
Everyone will look at me.
152
00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:26,373
So? They'll think
you're a beautiful girl.
153
00:07:26,703 --> 00:07:29,703
I don't know.
I'm not good at this
like you are.
154
00:07:29,143 --> 00:07:31,259
Honey, that's what I'm here for.
155
00:07:31,293 --> 00:07:33,459
What do you think?
You turn 14 and boom,
156
00:07:33,493 --> 00:07:36,209
you've got the savoir faire
and sophistication
157
00:07:36,243 --> 00:07:38,493
of a woman of my years
and experience?
158
00:07:39,476 --> 00:07:41,459
Look, when I was 14...
159
00:07:42,393 --> 00:07:43,376
Oh, go try it on.
160
00:07:46,043 --> 00:07:48,226
Who knew this job would be
so demanding?
161
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:50,343
Please, I'm exhausted.
162
00:07:51,443 --> 00:07:55,243
Oh, sweetie, what's wrong?
163
00:07:55,276 --> 00:07:57,409
I'm just so happy
164
00:07:57,443 --> 00:07:59,509
that I got married before her.
165
00:08:00,043 --> 00:08:02,373
Oh. Sure. Yeah.
166
00:08:02,703 --> 00:08:06,873
Do you think it would take away
from the bride if I wore this?
167
00:08:08,193 --> 00:08:11,176
[music playing]
168
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:18,209
Hi, sweetie.
169
00:08:18,243 --> 00:08:20,393
I knew you were upset,
170
00:08:20,426 --> 00:08:23,376
so I made you
a little chocolate pudding.
171
00:08:24,309 --> 00:08:25,426
You made it?
172
00:08:25,459 --> 00:08:28,226
Well, I made it to Zabar's
before they closed.
173
00:08:30,209 --> 00:08:31,476
Oh, sweetie.
174
00:08:31,509 --> 00:08:35,176
You have no idea
how your disapproving
of the wedding
175
00:08:35,209 --> 00:08:36,526
upsets Maggie.
176
00:08:37,203 --> 00:08:39,393
I mean, can you imagine
how upset I would be
177
00:08:39,426 --> 00:08:43,193
if my parents disapproved of me
marrying you?
178
00:08:43,226 --> 00:08:45,373
I mean, in a world gone mad.
179
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,326
Yes, but it just doesn't seem
right to me.
180
00:08:48,359 --> 00:08:50,476
I mean, she's not ready.
181
00:08:50,509 --> 00:08:52,226
Well, it seems right to her.
182
00:08:52,259 --> 00:08:54,476
And if you would just
stop yelling at her
183
00:08:54,509 --> 00:08:56,409
and try listening to her,
184
00:08:56,443 --> 00:08:59,873
I think that you would know
what it feels like.
185
00:08:59,159 --> 00:09:01,493
I can't. I can't talk to her.
186
00:09:01,526 --> 00:09:04,873
She'll just look at me
with those eyes of hers
187
00:09:04,159 --> 00:09:05,459
and I can't refuse her anything.
188
00:09:05,493 --> 00:09:07,343
Honey.
189
00:09:07,376 --> 00:09:09,509
That's exactly what
we're counting on.
190
00:09:13,373 --> 00:09:16,209
Oh, hi, honey.
Look who's out here.
191
00:09:16,243 --> 00:09:19,343
Sweetie, why don't you sit down,
talk to your father
192
00:09:19,376 --> 00:09:21,459
and I'm gonna go
check on dinner.
193
00:09:21,493 --> 00:09:23,359
Gracie, how's it coming?
194
00:09:26,526 --> 00:09:29,393
Daddy, I know you're upset,
195
00:09:29,426 --> 00:09:31,359
but I don't think
you really understand
196
00:09:31,393 --> 00:09:33,443
how Michael and I
feel about each other.
197
00:09:33,476 --> 00:09:36,143
Sweetheart, how can you be sure?
198
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:38,293
You haven't known him
long enough.
199
00:09:38,326 --> 00:09:41,193
Didn't you know
the moment you saw Fran?
200
00:09:41,226 --> 00:09:44,459
Yes, but we both wanted to wait
the proper amount of time.
201
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:47,143
Fran wanted to wait?
202
00:09:49,459 --> 00:09:52,343
Dad, why wait when you know?
203
00:09:52,376 --> 00:09:55,203
I mean, it's like
when you read a script
204
00:09:55,543 --> 00:09:56,509
and you just know that
it's gonna be a hit.
205
00:09:57,043 --> 00:10:00,543
I mean, except for when
you passed onCats...
206
00:10:00,873 --> 00:10:03,459
-because that was kind of--
-Yes, yes. All right,
no need to rehash.
207
00:10:05,143 --> 00:10:09,543
Well, Daddy, can't you see
that Michael is myCats?
208
00:10:10,259 --> 00:10:13,203
Please, just don't let me pass
on this one.
209
00:10:14,343 --> 00:10:16,359
[music playing]
210
00:10:16,393 --> 00:10:18,159
You're really in love,
aren't you?
211
00:10:19,226 --> 00:10:20,493
So much.
212
00:10:25,143 --> 00:10:27,259
You know, I love you too, Daddy.
213
00:10:28,409 --> 00:10:30,526
And I love you, sweetheart.
214
00:10:36,703 --> 00:10:38,393
And you're gonna make
a beautiful bride.
215
00:10:38,426 --> 00:10:41,409
[music continues]
216
00:10:51,209 --> 00:10:54,459
Thank you for inviting me
to your wedding, Maggie.
217
00:10:56,443 --> 00:10:58,873
Yetta, I'm--
218
00:10:58,159 --> 00:10:59,476
[mumbles]
219
00:10:59,509 --> 00:11:03,309
Did you hear about Ms. Babcock
and the male maid?
220
00:11:06,143 --> 00:11:07,259
What are you talking about?
221
00:11:07,293 --> 00:11:10,276
Well, Franny and her husband
walked in on them
222
00:11:10,309 --> 00:11:14,043
when they were doing
the horizontal hora.
223
00:11:14,373 --> 00:11:17,209
Where? Kitchen, closet,
stairway, limo?
224
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:18,259
Walmart?
225
00:11:20,143 --> 00:11:22,343
Walmart, huh?
226
00:11:22,376 --> 00:11:26,426
Well, if they dig the danger
of getting caught,
227
00:11:26,459 --> 00:11:30,276
they should try the aluminum
sheds at Home Depot.
228
00:11:37,493 --> 00:11:40,309
Fran, everything looks
so beautiful.
229
00:11:40,343 --> 00:11:42,226
It's exactly how I pictured it.
230
00:11:42,259 --> 00:11:44,476
Oh, sweetie,
remember all those times
231
00:11:44,509 --> 00:11:46,293
you'd come down these stairs
232
00:11:46,326 --> 00:11:49,293
holding the flowers
from the foyer,
233
00:11:49,326 --> 00:11:52,193
making believe you were a bride?
234
00:11:52,226 --> 00:11:53,393
That was you, Fran.
235
00:11:56,543 --> 00:11:58,376
Niles. They saw us.
236
00:11:58,409 --> 00:12:01,703
No. No. No.
237
00:12:01,143 --> 00:12:02,443
No, what does it matter where?
238
00:12:02,476 --> 00:12:05,359
The important thing is
when you get back,
239
00:12:05,393 --> 00:12:08,343
I need to pick up something
at Home Depot.
240
00:12:08,376 --> 00:12:11,176
-[bell dings]
-Oh, honey, that's Michael.
241
00:12:11,209 --> 00:12:13,703
You can't let him see you
before the wedding.
242
00:12:13,143 --> 00:12:15,409
-It's bad luck.
Go put some makeup on.
-It's on.
243
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:18,176
Well, put some more.
You're taking pictures
with my family.
244
00:12:18,209 --> 00:12:20,426
You're gonna disappear next to
the cast of Ringling Bros.
245
00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:25,509
-Hi, sweetie.
-Hey.
246
00:12:26,043 --> 00:12:27,703
[kisses]
247
00:12:27,143 --> 00:12:28,526
Let me take your coat.
Come on in.
248
00:12:30,426 --> 00:12:33,203
Hello, Dad.
249
00:12:33,493 --> 00:12:35,426
Hello, son,
250
00:12:35,459 --> 00:12:38,376
who's taking my daughter away.
251
00:12:38,409 --> 00:12:41,209
I just wanna let you know that
I love your daughter very much.
252
00:12:41,243 --> 00:12:43,493
I am gonna take
such good care of her.
253
00:12:43,526 --> 00:12:45,376
I'm sure you will.
254
00:12:45,409 --> 00:12:48,393
I've always dreamt
of having my daughter
marry an underpants model.
255
00:12:50,509 --> 00:12:53,043
Oh, look. "Mr. and Mrs. Brolin."
256
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:54,393
Yeah, it's my cousin James.
257
00:12:54,426 --> 00:12:56,243
James Brolin?
258
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,276
Oh, boy, if his wife's name
is Barbra,
259
00:12:58,309 --> 00:13:01,043
they can really have fun
with that.
260
00:13:01,373 --> 00:13:03,176
His wife's name is Barbra.
261
00:13:03,209 --> 00:13:05,143
Oh, do they really have fun
with that?
262
00:13:06,243 --> 00:13:07,509
I don't know,
they just got married.
263
00:13:10,703 --> 00:13:11,526
-In July?
-Yeah.
264
00:13:12,203 --> 00:13:13,459
-In Malibu, California?
-Yeah.
265
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:16,243
-Were her photos in People?
-Uh-huh.
266
00:13:16,276 --> 00:13:19,203
-And they're coming here?
-In, like, 10 minutes.
267
00:13:20,309 --> 00:13:23,159
They wanted to get here early
'cause they have to leave early.
268
00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:24,343
She's got a 9:00 flight.
269
00:13:24,376 --> 00:13:26,243
[gasps] Oh, my God.
270
00:13:26,276 --> 00:13:27,476
Oh, my daughter
is marrying a boy
271
00:13:27,509 --> 00:13:29,426
whose cousin
is married to Barbra.
272
00:13:29,459 --> 00:13:32,159
My dreams are finally
coming true.
273
00:13:32,193 --> 00:13:35,203
I'm going to be a Streisand.
274
00:13:36,393 --> 00:13:38,226
Maxwell.
275
00:13:38,259 --> 00:13:40,509
-Maxwell.
-What, darling?
276
00:13:41,043 --> 00:13:44,293
Barbra Streisand
is coming to my house and...
277
00:13:44,326 --> 00:13:46,393
-And...
-And what, darling?
278
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:49,543
I think I'm going into labor.
279
00:13:49,873 --> 00:13:50,526
What? Oh, my God.
280
00:13:51,203 --> 00:13:52,476
Someone, pack a suitcase.
Quick. It's time.
281
00:13:52,509 --> 00:13:55,543
Sweetheart, we have to get you
to a hospital.
282
00:13:55,873 --> 00:13:57,276
No. No. The pain is not that...
283
00:13:57,309 --> 00:13:59,326
[groaning]
284
00:13:59,359 --> 00:14:00,343
Bad.
285
00:14:02,373 --> 00:14:04,459
No, darling, we're going
to the hospital.
286
00:14:04,493 --> 00:14:06,393
-No. No. I don't wanna go.
-Come on.
287
00:14:06,426 --> 00:14:08,043
-I don't wanna go.
-Come on.
288
00:14:08,373 --> 00:14:11,703
I'll have them over here.
It'll be fine.
289
00:14:11,143 --> 00:14:14,373
Please. Honey, not today.
290
00:14:14,703 --> 00:14:16,459
Barbra's married to Dr. Kiley
fromMarcus Welby.
291
00:14:16,493 --> 00:14:18,043
He'll know what to do.
292
00:14:19,409 --> 00:14:21,873
All right, I got her makeup bag
293
00:14:21,159 --> 00:14:23,226
but someone else is gonna have
to get her clothes.
294
00:14:32,143 --> 00:14:35,143
Yetta, would you let
everyone know that
Fran's doing just fine.
295
00:14:35,176 --> 00:14:36,426
The doctor's in
with her right now.
296
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,259
It turns out
it was a false alarm.
297
00:14:39,526 --> 00:14:40,509
Fran.
298
00:14:42,226 --> 00:14:43,309
She's pregnant.
299
00:14:45,043 --> 00:14:47,409
Yes, well, of course
I'm the father.
300
00:14:47,443 --> 00:14:49,309
Well, because I just know,
that's how.
301
00:14:49,343 --> 00:14:52,043
Yetta, would you put someone
else on the phone, please?
302
00:14:52,526 --> 00:14:54,326
Mrs. Sheffield, it seems you had
303
00:14:54,359 --> 00:14:57,309
some unusually strong
Braxton Hicks contractions.
304
00:14:57,343 --> 00:15:00,309
It's very common for women
over 35 under stress.
305
00:15:00,343 --> 00:15:02,359
Have you been stressed
about anything recently?
306
00:15:02,393 --> 00:15:06,043
You mean, besides the fact
that you think I'm over 35?
307
00:15:07,176 --> 00:15:09,326
Nothing to worry about.
You're in no danger.
308
00:15:09,359 --> 00:15:11,193
But you do seem
a little agitated.
309
00:15:11,226 --> 00:15:12,509
Yeah, well, you would be too
310
00:15:13,043 --> 00:15:15,409
if Barbra Streisand
was at your house
at this very moment
311
00:15:15,443 --> 00:15:18,873
and had to leave
in less than two hours.
312
00:15:18,159 --> 00:15:19,243
Who?
313
00:15:20,259 --> 00:15:22,043
Oh, my God.
314
00:15:22,373 --> 00:15:23,176
Darling, darling, what is it?
315
00:15:23,209 --> 00:15:26,326
He does not know
who Barbra Streisand is.
316
00:15:28,243 --> 00:15:30,276
Sweetheart,
I've just spoken to your mother.
317
00:15:30,309 --> 00:15:32,873
The guests are gonna
enjoy their dinner
318
00:15:32,159 --> 00:15:34,226
but we're gonna postpone
the ceremony until tomorrow.
319
00:15:34,259 --> 00:15:37,409
But what about Barbra?
What about Barbra?
320
00:15:37,443 --> 00:15:39,443
She's enjoying herself
thoroughly.
321
00:15:39,476 --> 00:15:41,293
She's singing.
322
00:15:41,326 --> 00:15:43,376
Barbra Streisand is singing
in my house?
323
00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:45,543
Mrs. Sheffield, I'm sorry,
324
00:15:45,873 --> 00:15:47,043
but you've got to
remain here overnight.
325
00:15:47,373 --> 00:15:49,326
But you said
that I wasn't in any danger.
326
00:15:49,359 --> 00:15:52,543
I want to play it safe.
I'd prefer if you stay
off your feet.
327
00:15:52,873 --> 00:15:54,393
You know, the doctor's
absolutely right, sweetheart.
328
00:15:54,426 --> 00:15:56,526
What you need is
a calming environment.
329
00:15:57,203 --> 00:16:01,326
What could be more calming than
Streisand singing 'Evergreen'?
330
00:16:01,359 --> 00:16:05,373
'Evergreen.'
That's Barbra Streisand.
331
00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:07,143
My uncle's her dentist
in California.
332
00:16:07,176 --> 00:16:08,176
I've met her.
333
00:16:09,393 --> 00:16:11,243
Oh, my God.
334
00:16:11,276 --> 00:16:13,443
It's six degrees of aggravation.
335
00:16:15,873 --> 00:16:16,443
Okay, he's gone.
336
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:19,343
-Get my dress, get my purse.
-No. Darling, darling,
no, no, no.
337
00:16:19,376 --> 00:16:22,326
I want you in that bed.
338
00:16:22,359 --> 00:16:24,043
You know, honey,
339
00:16:24,373 --> 00:16:26,476
if you said that ordinarily,
it would be a big turn-on.
340
00:16:26,509 --> 00:16:29,526
But right now,
get out of my way.
341
00:16:30,203 --> 00:16:32,393
Sweetheart, you'll just have to
see Barbra another time.
342
00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:34,293
Come on, you've waited
this long.
343
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,376
What you need right now
is to stay calm
344
00:16:36,409 --> 00:16:38,159
and not get over excited.
345
00:16:38,193 --> 00:16:40,209
-But, honey--
-No buts.
346
00:16:40,243 --> 00:16:42,176
-I want you to stay in that bed.
-But, Max--
347
00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:44,873
Do you understand me?
348
00:16:45,209 --> 00:16:46,276
Yes.
349
00:16:47,193 --> 00:16:48,359
And you know I'm right?
350
00:16:50,193 --> 00:16:52,443
-Yes.
-Yes.
351
00:16:52,476 --> 00:16:57,259
I'm sorry, honey.
I know that I'm acting childish.
352
00:16:57,293 --> 00:17:00,393
I'll spend the night here
like they want me to.
353
00:17:00,426 --> 00:17:03,193
And I'll be right here
by your side.
354
00:17:03,226 --> 00:17:06,376
Oh, sweetie, I love you.
You're such a good husband.
355
00:17:06,409 --> 00:17:08,343
You're so busy
taking care of me.
356
00:17:08,376 --> 00:17:10,526
Meanwhile, when was
the last time you even ate?
357
00:17:11,203 --> 00:17:14,159
Oh, I don't know.
I had some breakfast
this morning.
358
00:17:14,193 --> 00:17:15,459
Matter of fact,
I'm a little peckish.
359
00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:17,459
Why don't I pop out,
bring us both back some dinner?
360
00:17:17,493 --> 00:17:19,309
-Okay.
-What are you in the mood for?
361
00:17:19,343 --> 00:17:21,326
Whatever you're in the mood for.
362
00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:23,193
Well, I could go for a burger.
363
00:17:23,226 --> 00:17:25,159
Really? You couldn't go
for Chinese?
364
00:17:27,226 --> 00:17:29,426
I could go for Chinese.
365
00:17:29,459 --> 00:17:31,176
You too?
366
00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:36,393
-I'll be right back.
-Okay.
367
00:17:38,203 --> 00:17:41,043
I love you.
368
00:17:41,476 --> 00:17:43,493
You're the best husband
369
00:17:43,526 --> 00:17:46,326
in the whole wide world.
370
00:17:47,509 --> 00:17:49,343
But I'm a person
who needs people.
371
00:17:51,426 --> 00:17:54,259
And in about 10 minutes,
372
00:17:54,293 --> 00:17:58,443
I am going to be
one of the luckiest people
in the world.
373
00:18:10,159 --> 00:18:12,143
[music playing]
374
00:18:14,376 --> 00:18:16,243
Hello, gorgeous.
375
00:18:18,143 --> 00:18:19,393
Barbra?
376
00:18:19,426 --> 00:18:20,476
Barbra?
377
00:18:22,543 --> 00:18:23,343
Barbra, can you hear me?
378
00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:27,226
[phone ringing]
379
00:18:29,293 --> 00:18:31,226
-Hello, hello?
-[Maxwell]Sweetheart?
380
00:18:31,259 --> 00:18:32,493
Oh, hi, honey.
381
00:18:32,526 --> 00:18:35,393
Uh, are you mad at me
because I ran out?
382
00:18:35,426 --> 00:18:38,359
[Maxwell]Not half as mad asyou're gonna be with yourself.
383
00:18:39,259 --> 00:18:40,509
Why?
384
00:18:41,043 --> 00:18:42,293
Because when I called home,
385
00:18:42,326 --> 00:18:45,209
I arranged a little surprise
for you.
386
00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:49,193
♪Even our piano
387
00:18:49,226 --> 00:18:52,043
♪In the parlor
388
00:18:53,193 --> 00:18:55,509
♪Daddy bought for ten cents
389
00:18:56,043 --> 00:18:59,426
♪On the dollar
390
00:18:59,459 --> 00:19:05,376
[all together]
♪Everyone knows that I'm justSecond hand Rose
391
00:19:05,409 --> 00:19:07,373
[singing]
392
00:19:07,703 --> 00:19:09,176
[music playing]
393
00:19:13,343 --> 00:19:14,509
And do you, Maggie,
394
00:19:15,043 --> 00:19:18,373
take Michael to be
your lawfully wedded husband?
395
00:19:18,703 --> 00:19:20,193
-I do.
-[sobbing]
396
00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:22,243
Oh, Niles,
I really wish you could be here.
397
00:19:22,276 --> 00:19:24,509
You should see
how beautiful Maggie looks.
398
00:19:26,393 --> 00:19:29,243
Yes, everybody is using
the coasters.
399
00:19:29,276 --> 00:19:30,493
Here's Ms. Babcock.
400
00:19:32,543 --> 00:19:34,326
Normally,
at this point in the ceremony,
401
00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:36,493
I like to say a few words
about the couple
402
00:19:36,526 --> 00:19:39,043
embarking on their life.
403
00:19:39,373 --> 00:19:43,203
But I think the sentiments
were best expressed by Barbra
404
00:19:43,543 --> 00:19:46,203
who just last night
stood right here
405
00:19:46,543 --> 00:19:49,393
and sang 'What Are You Doing
the Rest of Your Life?'
406
00:19:55,373 --> 00:19:57,373
She sang that too?
407
00:20:00,543 --> 00:20:04,209
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
408
00:20:04,243 --> 00:20:05,409
[Sylvia sobbing]
409
00:20:08,873 --> 00:20:10,493
[cheering]
410
00:20:10,526 --> 00:20:13,509
['Wedding March'
playing on piano]
411
00:20:19,276 --> 00:20:23,193
Oh, wasn't it beautiful, Mama?
412
00:20:23,226 --> 00:20:26,203
-Beautiful.
-Oh, yes.
413
00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:31,243
Is Barbra's voice
as flawless in person?
414
00:20:31,276 --> 00:20:32,509
Well, actually,
it was a little tired
415
00:20:33,043 --> 00:20:34,259
after singing
the score ofFunny Girl
416
00:20:34,293 --> 00:20:36,226
and six new songs
from her next album.
417
00:20:39,243 --> 00:20:41,376
I'm so glad that I'm pregnant.
418
00:20:41,409 --> 00:20:43,543
Why?
419
00:20:43,873 --> 00:20:45,409
It's the only thing that's
keeping me from killing myself.
420
00:20:48,259 --> 00:20:52,459
Oh, Val, I am sitting on
such a huge secret
421
00:20:52,493 --> 00:20:54,359
for over a week now.
422
00:20:54,393 --> 00:20:57,193
But I cannot tell a living soul.
423
00:20:58,143 --> 00:20:59,703
[sighs]
424
00:21:00,409 --> 00:21:01,443
Good cake.
425
00:21:02,343 --> 00:21:03,343
Val...
426
00:21:07,343 --> 00:21:10,703
-Good cake.
-Niles and Ms. Babcock
are having an affair.
427
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:11,873
[gasps]
428
00:21:12,193 --> 00:21:15,426
-With who?
-With each other.
429
00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:19,326
I don't know the line.
430
00:21:23,409 --> 00:21:25,343
When are they seeing...
When are they...
431
00:21:26,476 --> 00:21:28,226
[man] "So where are they now?"
432
00:21:32,376 --> 00:21:34,476
Oh, God.
433
00:21:34,509 --> 00:21:37,493
[theme music playing]
434
00:21:52,143 --> 00:21:53,459
[theme music ends]
32192
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